I feel my senses slowly creep back into my body, a spark of pain zapping through my skill alongside it. I wince and squeeze my closed eyes tighter, my hand brushing against a hardened slab as I move it towards my temple, massaging away the pain as best as I can.
Not quite what I wanted to wake up to truthfully, though I suppose it could be worse. My spare hand reaches out to feel around, to grasp for the rapidly disappearing warmth.
Only for the remains of it to slip through my fingers, and for my hand to land on something cold and hard. My eyelids flicker open, a sea of gray encompassing my vision.
I don't have the best memory, but I don't think I feel asleep here. I drop my hands to the floor and push myself up, grunting as I do , a heavy weight pressing itself on my chest and shoulders. I eventually push myself onto my knees, taking time to look around.
A grey stone road stretches out long in front of me, lined by matching walls. My eyes follow the walls up above, craning my neck to do so. There's eventually an end to it all, as impossibly tall as it is. It leads into the sky above, a bright full moon gleaming with an ethereal glow hanging among the blackened sky.
The fuck am I doing here? What the hell is this place? I shouldn't be here, I should be awake now, right? What gives? I push myself onto two feet, another strained grunt slipping past my lips as I do so. Standing upright feels… oddly difficult for whatever reason, the weight upon my shoulder clinging to me, no matter how sharp my shakes are.
At least it's manageable enough, for now at least. I look over my shoulder to check behind me, a sea of dark filling my vision as I do so. It laps at the borders of the street, almost willing to move on, but it goes no further.
I've seen this before, haven't I? During my first trip into the depths of the nightmare, through those deadened woods. It was a fair bit more… ravenous then, though. It looks more at ease here, or at least content.
What is here, anyways? Another dream, a memory? No, a memory doesn't seem right. I've only been a passenger during those moments, being able to control and move around myself disproves that, doesn't it?
I- I don't know why I'm here, but I don't think it's a good idea to linger here for too long. A feeling of unease seems to bury itself into my guy, nervously wriggling away while that weight presses against me.
I turn away from the darkness and march onwards, the clicking of claws against stone echoing throughout the hallway.
And so I walk, and walk, and walk. Ito march in silence is really fucking boring, though at least that's broken by the brief moments of noise to distract me from it all. Even then, it can't stave off the maddening feeling for too long, it eventually becomes part of the routine.
All the while, the pressure that wraps itself around me refuses to let go, no matter how much I try to shrug it off or ignore the feeling. I can feel it press against my chest, as if deliberately digging into the flesh above my lungs. Sweat beads on my forehead as my heart beats quicken, the strains in my legs intensifying.
Fuck, why do I feel so tired? I've done more strenuous things for longer when I've been awake and in a dream, what's the issue here?
I pause for a moment to catch my breath, bending over and resting a hand on my chest as I do so. Something about the air here makes it difficult to do so, the air almost feels thick, it takes far too much effort to force it into my lungs.
God, it almost fucking hurts to do it too, is that because of the dream, or because of me? Maybe I'm just tired, really bloody tired.
Maybe I should take a brea- no! No no no, I can't stop here, no matter how much I want to,no matter how tempting it is. I haven't stopped for long, but I should've regained some energy by this point. But no, if anything, the weight on my shoulders and the coiling in my chest only increases by the second.
It can't be my body that's the issue then,, it's this place itself, something about it is suffocating. Is this its way of trying to get me to stop? Is it trying to drag me down to the stone beneath?
If that's what this place wants, then it can go fuck itself! I've forced myself through greater pain, I've fought greater things than whatever the fuck this is meant to be, and I'll do it again and again. If this place wants to pull me under, then the floor better grow some fucking hands to actually do it.
I force myself to stand upright, my breath hitching as I do so, forcing my burning legs to march onwards. It's difficult to ignore the crushing grip that encases me, but I grit my teeth and push onwards.
Just gotta throw a curve ball to fuck with me, don't you dreams? As if I don't have enough to fucking think about.
At least spite's a damn good motivator, though I can't tell if the burning in my chest is from that feeling alone or from me forcing my body to move.
It does become slightly easier to move about as time passes, though I don't think that it's because this place is kind enough to let up, more so that I've gotten slightly used to it. I can't imagine that this place is that kind.
One could say that I've adapted to it, in a way. Now isn't that fucking hilarious, I'm sure that gets a laugh out of someone, somewhere.
My mind's since glazed over for a good bit, though something catches my eye, and brings my mind back into focus.
I tap my claws into the floor, the sound of a dull thud replacing the mind numbing clacking instead. Wood juts out from the floor, mixed in between the plain grey stone, almost like the root of a tree. This isn't just a single piece, either, similar roots spread across the floor and walls, all leading further into the corridor.
Where the hell am I being led to? I suppose there's not much choice but to continue on, though I can feel my nerves jumping underneath my skin.
I push onwards, deeper and deeper still. Slowly and methodically, the creeping wood swallows up the rest of the stone, the wood feels smooth and warm underneath my paws, though still unwelcoming.
That feeling isn't surprising, what is surprising is the sight of fucking doors. They're featureless wooden doors, barely a different tint of the walls that surround it, but it's better than nothing.
Have I finally reached where I'm meant to be, or have I missed something? Looking up reveals nothing but an equally plain roof, replacing the once open skies. I twist my neck to look behind me.
To come face to face with a plain wooden wall. There's no sign of where I've come from, no stone road, no moon, no blackened sea, nothing.
Well, I don't exactly have a choice in turning back then, do I? Even still, something about all this feels… wrong, disturbingly so. While the weight on me hasn't disappeared, there's an odd, numb feeling that rests alongside it, a sense of unease hangs in the air.
Even the air here seems unwelcoming, more so than normal. More than that, though, something about it seems familiar, or at least familiar enough to trigger the feeling of deja vu. Fantastic.
I shake both my body and mind to bring myself back, silently creeping along the hall, and over to the door. I wrap my hand around the knob and twist.
It rattles, but it doesn't budge otherwise, I should've guessed that it's locked. I scoff to myself and pull away from it, I'm not sure what I was expecting. I might as well try the other one.
It swings open, much to my surprise, the squeaking of its hinges filling the dead air. I uh, didn't actually expect it to open, truthfully. I hesitate for a moment before poking my head in, to look around the room.
It's surprisingly plain, considering what it took to get here, I expected something a bit more wild. A messy bed sits in the corner of the room, blankets splayed across and dangling off the side, a desk laying against the wall off to the side of it, along with a chair placed in front of that. That's it, there's nothing else here, is this really what's being shown to me? Seems like a waste of time.
...despite that, maybe I'm wrong about it. It's a plain, wholly attractive room that shouldn't warrant any attention, but there's a soft, gentle tug in my chest, one that's barely noticeable, not helped by the feeling of unease that's nicely nestled itself in the air.
I take my head out of the room and look down the hall once more, my ears twitching as I strain my senses. I don't hear anything else, and I certainly don't see anything either. It's quite a long hall, with the occasional flame that illuminates it.
I suppose it couldn't hurt, right? If only to quell the tug of curiosity. I slip my way into the room, closing the door shut behind me as I do so. Despite being alone, I creep my way over to the only real point of interest in the room.
I raise an eyebrow as I look over the chest with squinted eyes, running a hand over the light brown wood.
Someone lives here, obviously, the undone bed is proof of that. Yet this table is clear and barren of anything, has that person left it completely unused then? No, something about it feels just that little bit off, enough to catch my attention anyhow.
There's a strange buzz that lingers on my fingertips as I drag it across the wood too, like static beneath my skin. Does that actually mean something, or am I just imagining it? Maybe I'm missing something here, a key, or a switch. I redouble my efforts, my spare hand joining in, feeling around the desktop. Something underneath my hands catches my attention, a small indent grooved into the wood.
I trail my fingers along the edges of it, humming to myself all the while. It's barely noticeable, but it's there. Putting pressure on it doesn't seem to do anything either, am I going mad? Maybe, I wouldn't put it past me, but this has to mean something, right? There's nothing else to this, and it's just in this single specific point, there has to be a reason for it.
A slight murmuring brings me out of my thoughts, ears twitching as I pull away from the desk. I cautiously move over to the wall, and to the source of the noise, pressing both cheek and ear up against it.
The voices are muffled, though I can't tell if that's from the wall, or from their hushed voices.
"You know I can find my way around, you don't need to escort me any longer." One voice says, it's voice soft, almost teasing.
"I'm aware, dear, but can you fault me? I do love spending time with you." Another replies, their voice a slow, cocky drawl. The hair of the back of my neck stands on end, the tips of my fingers digging into the wall.
I know these voices. Ah fuck.
"I suppose not, though I don't need too keen an eye to notice what you're really doing. You're ever eager for my company before you inevitably flake off by your lonesome, isn't that right?" She continues with a purr, a rather coy sounding one at that. I can hear his barking laughter as clear as day, an echo of it vibrating in my skull.
"Hah! You're not wrong, dear, though I did opt into this for other reasons."
"Oh? Are you willing to divulge those reasons, or do I have to work for that, too?" She purrs once more, the dull sound of a claw tapping on wood following up soon after.
Please don't, I'm in an uncomfortable enough situation as it is, being stuck in a dream of unknowns, this certainly won't help me in the slightest.
"Hm, perhaps another time, dear." He says after a moment, a heavy, thankful sigh escaping my chest. Thank god. "We'll have to continue our little discussions another time, preferably later, much later."
"You're rather unsettled by that little show of hers, aren't you Master?" That piques my interest, little show? Is this the same night as before, then, or is this something else entirely?
"Perhaps, perhaps not, either way, it's something that I'll have to account for in the future."
I'm not sure why, but hearing him talk about the 'future' feels a tad odd. Maybe it's because I've seen what happens to him. Kind of, I think, assuming that this is the past.
A dream of the past that isn't my own, I'd question it further, but my head already hurts as it is, and I don't want to think of ways to fuck this up.
"I'll let you off for the night, there's work to be done in the coming days. For you, anyhow, that's why I bought you after all. I have time to recuperate and strategize, as is my duty."
"Very well, Master." She's silent for a moment, the gentle ruffle of fabric barely audible through the wall. A bow, maybe? "I assume that I'll be working with him, then?"
"Unfortunately. Trust me, I don't want to stay with him any longer than I need to either, but he's a useful tool worth using." He answers. There's another brief silence, one broken by a chuckle. "No, you can't pout your way out of this one dear, you have to go through this."
"Hmmph."
"Maybe you'll learn to tolerate one another."
"If that happens, I hope the masks themselves come down to kill me." I can't help but wince a little, even as the Stranger laughs.
Ouch, even if it's not me as I am now, I still feel kind of hurt by that.
I wonder if it'd feel the same if I wasn't reminded of Mabel.
"Ever an amusing one, aren't you? I ought to be off myself, to pass on the same message to the little Knight."
"Farewell, Master." The conversation ends, the dull sound of boots thudding against wood following soon after. I breathe a soft sigh of relief as it fades away, hopefully he doesn't come back. I uh, don't exactly have anywhere to go though, I can't exactly sneak my way past a closed door when someones standing outside it.
So I wait, and wait, holding my breath and praying for her to leave. There's a soft sigh, almost a whine, barely audible through the wall, and a dull thud. Then silence.
She doesn't seem to be moving around, least of all moving away from here.
I turn my head to face the rest of the room, lips pursed into a thin frown as the gears in my skull turn.
Fuck, this is her room, isn't it? Someone has to live here after all, the used bed is proof of that, and it'd just be my fucking luck that it'd be her.
Is there anywhere to hide- no, stupid question, there's just a bed and nothing else, and hiding under that isn't a long term solution.
I feel panic creep into my chest, heart thundering as I step away from the wall, throat tightening all the while.
Fuckfuckfuck! Is there anything I can do here, was there anything I could do? I wasn't standing around in here for that long, who knows how long that hall was, I could've ran into both of them. And if I did, what could I have done there instead?
...it is just her, though. If she waits just long enough, then I could… subdue her, I guess?
Bah, I couldn't even finish thinking of the plan without my heart and gut churning. The mere thought of hurting her, or someone that looks like her pains me. Hah, that's kind of pathetic, honestly, shameful too.
I let out a soft, resigned sigh. So be it then, we'll just see how it goes. I'm sure she'll be absolutely delighted to see a visitor.
Time seems to stretch on and on and on, jaws clenched and hands stuffed into my pockets, if I can't stop the nervous twitching and jittering, I can at least limit it to there.
Eventually though, I hear her shuffling outside, and the sound of the knob rattling.
My heart jumps into my throat as the door swings open, the Partner stepping through. She's still wearing that cloak of hers, a replica, a strained and tired look on her face, with her eyes a dulled gold. The door swings shut behind her with an unceremonious slam, moving over to me with a stumbling gait.
I hold my breath as she steps closer.
And waltzes straight past me, her eyes barely shift as she stares into the floor, a barely audible mumble underneath her breath. I blink, disbelief replacing panic, though the twitching remains.
Did she just ignore me? I twist around to face her, even as she continues to look away. I'm confused, slightly insulted, but mostly confused.
"Uh, hello? Can you hear me?" I hesitantly call out to her, bracing for some sort of reaction. One that never arrives, the woman standing in front of the desk instead.
Alright, I uh, guess that answers that question then, and I can assume that she can't see me either. I am here, right? Seems like a strange question to ask, but still. I run my hands over my body, patting down both fabric and fur.
I am here, just, as something else. What a strange dream this is, did I do something, did someone else? Even though I can still touch and move things around here, I feel more like a visitor than anything else.
There's not much time to ponder on it, a soft murmur from the woman drawing me away from my thoughts. She raises a hand over the desk, a soft glow of magic wraps around her hand. After a moment, the desk responds with a click of its own, shuddering as it does so.
She presses her hand down onto the desk, and the sound of something sliding open fills my ears, her hand reaching deeper into a now revealed pocket.
So it was magic, I'm surprised I managed to guess that.. She rummages around in it for a moment before freezing, her hair flailing wildly as she looks over to me. I freeze as she does so, a bolt of fear running down my spine. She doesn't register me, golden eyes sweeping the room with a wary glare. She looks away and back to the desk after a while longer, finally pulling her hand free from the depths.
A necklace dangles from her grasp, an unadorned locket of silver hanging from a thin wire. She looks over it for a moment before holding it close to her chest with a soft, shuddering sigh.
Just by looking at how wary she seems, it's not very hard to tell that it's definitely something personal to her, to hide it away from the sight of others
I feel like I'm intruding on something I shouldn't see, too private to accidentally stumble upon. I wonder if that's why a pang of pain jabs at my heart.
She clenches her hands into fists, that clutching grasp of hers possessive and needy. A hand detaches itself from her and, with a wave of magic, the pocket in the desk seals shut, as if it never existed in the first place.
A relieved tint takes the edge off of her weary visage, a soft, happy sigh coming from her. I can't help but smile, just that little bit, though I'm not sure why. There's a sound of a zipper coming undone, the black cloth slipping down her shoulders.
Gah, no! I shield my eyes from the sight and turn away, trying my best to push down the rising fire in my cheeks. Fuck, I know keidran don't need clothes, but still, the woman nearly gave me a bloody heart attack. I keep my sight away from her, ignoring the twitching in my ears as the sound of cloth hits the ground.
If Adrian was here, he'd be bullying the fuck out of me for this, though at least that'd get my mind off of it. There's another sound, a quiet poof and the rustling of sheets.
I hesitate for a moment before dropping my arms, and looking over the woman. She's curled up into a ball of white and brown on the bed, her tail stuffed between her legs and curled up to her chest.
I should take the chance and leave, even if she notices the door randomly swing open, I should do something. Yet, all I feel is that tug in my chest once more. I let out an agitated sounding sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
Alright, I'll oblige for now, it's not like it can get any worse. I slink my way over to her, keeping as quiet as I can, just because she can't see me doesn't mean she can't hear me, after all. I kneel beside her, just looking over her is all, nothing more.
The woman's small frame slowly rises and falls with her breathing, though even now, she looks at least prepared to move around, her muscles tense. I can see her hands clutched to her chest despite the tail, the wires dangling against the blankets, the locket itself hidden away.
She really, really looks like her, and it does my heart no favours. There's small differences, of course, she doesn't have the same white tipped fur as Mabel, instead, it reaches from her stomach to her neck, it almost looks as if it curls around her neck. Her hair has a darker tint, too, as slight as it may be, the outer fur of her ear the same shade of brown as the rest of her body.
She's meant to be resting, isn't she? Then why does she still look so tense? Does she not feel safe here? I can't exactly blame her for that, given her situation, but still. It's an awful sight to see, one that brings a pang of pain to my heart.
It also brings an equally awful, terrible idea, one that'll immediately go to shit.
Yet the idea is tempting nonetheless. I've pet a fox plenty and led it to a, hopefully, better sleep, so why not another?
My breath hitches as I raise an arm, that twitching hand of mine feels far too eager
I bring it closer, and lay it atop her prone head.
Her eyelids fling open, lights of gold alert and ready, I can feel them piercing through me, shifting side to side with a wary glare all the while. The possessive clutch on that locket redoubles in its efforts, and I can see the glint of yellowed silver pressing into her fur. I keep my breath held, even if she can't hear it, a bundle of nerves writhing within my chest.
To see something like this, fuck, it hurts. How long would this girl have been like this, for her to have such a visceral reaction? To look so unsafe, even when so alone and away from others?
Perhaps it's selfish to ask this, but please…
"Please rest, dear fox. You deserve that at least, even in a dream." I whisper to her, as meaningless as the words may be, it's not as if she can hear me. Quite selfish a request indeed, for what right do I have to ask it of her? Regardless, I persist, hand shifting from her messy, unkempt hair to an ear, fingers gently pressing behind it. It doesn't take a keen eye to see how unnerved the fox is. Part of me wants to stop, to take it back, as impossible as it seems.
I force the cowardly thoughts down and continue on, fingers trailing from behind the ear and up to the middle of it, catching it between my fingers, slowly and softly massaging it.
I've done the same to her before, too, plenty of times. Perhaps that's why it feels so natural to do the same to the fox, too.
Such a process puts a fair deal of strain on my arms, but I can stomach it for a while longer.I leave my spare arm resting atop the bed, leaning into it for balance, shifting from one ear to another. I give it the same treatment as the other, naturally, fingers digging behind it and scratching away.
It takes an age, but the fox ever so slightly relaxes into my hand, a soft breath of air blowing out from her as she does so. It takes even longer for her stiff body to loosen up, to relax into the bed beneath. Her eyelids flicker and begin to droop, her wary glaring reduced to a more content stare, a small, squeaking yawn slipping past her lips.
Even that sounds like her, though it doesn't last nearly as long, and the pitch of it is far deeper. Even that instills some sense of happiness into my heart. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'll take it for now.
Her eyes finally close shut, the side of her face sinking into a pillow. With that, she finally seems to have accepted the affection, the rumbling of a purr in her chest isn't particularly difficult to hear. Even her grip on the locket's loosened, resting snuggly within the palm of her hand, rather than her clutching at it for dear life.
I feel a smile creep its way onto my face, sighing happily at the sight. It's nice to see, even if it's not real, there's some peace to be gained from the attempt, right? A small yawn slips from my lips, much to my surprise, a wave of drowsiness washing over me.
I can't imagine why I'm tired now, perhaps the fox has something to do with it, who knows. I lean forward, laying the top of my chin, letting it sink into the mattress, keeping some distance away from her. Even just like this, it's very comfortable. I wonder what this is made of, cause it's sure as shit not straw, or anything I'm used to.
I feel as if it's selfish of me to rest here, to take up more space, but I've already taken one step, so why not another in the same vein? A yawn pushes its way past out of my chest, the weight on my eyelids becoming heavier by the moment.
Sleep well, Partner, wherever this place may be.
….
Loud and hurried knocks force consciousness back into me, a dull ache jabbing into my skull dancing in tandem with the incessant noise.
Fucking good morning to you to then. I let out a groan as I force myself out of the sheets, immediately missing the warmth and comfort, using the wall as leverage to stand upright. I shake my head, in hopes to clear the ache and the haze over it, it does little for the former, though the latter is a tad more willing.
I do have a window in here, I can see that it's barely early morning, who the fuck's trying to get me awake at a time like this? At least I know this is the real world, and not another dream, don't think I'd be down to handle another one of those. I stumble my way over to my door, fumbling with the knob before pulling it open. I peek out from the crack in it, my eyes narrowing at the woman.
Lucy isn't quite the first person I expected to see today.
"What?" I ask plainly, reaching up with a hand to rub at my eyes. It doesn't do much to wake me up, but it's better than nothing.
"I got stuff I wanna do with you today." She replies swiftly, a polite little smile on her face, her hands clasped behind her back. She answered that a bit too quickly, too politely, and the vagueness doesn't doesn't help.
"Are you going to explain what you mean by 'stuff' at all?"
"Weeeeell, I could, but a lady has her secrets, no?"
"You? A lady?" I question with a raised brow. She pouts, letting out a huff and crossing her arms. She holds that faux angry stare for a good while, though it doesn't amount to much.
"Ya know, you could just say no if you don't wanna."
"No, I will, just later on is all."
"Later on?"
"I was comfortable, and warm, I'd rather return to that for a while." After having to deal with the dreams, I'd like to have a moment to relax and think. She pouts once more, a deeper one at that, one that I still can't take seriously
"You're gonna keep me waiting, then?"
"You'll live, get chatting with Anna or something, assuming she's awake anyways. You'll have plenty to talk about." And with that, I close the door shut and waltz back over to the bed, ignoring her protest.
Unnerving little woman, as always.
I slip back into the bed and pull the sheets back over to me, warmth washing over my body, melting away the early morning chill. I'd thank god that it's still warm, but the kid's still here, and still sleeping.
Or at least pretending to, it's the thought that counts, right?
"You don't have to pretend, kid." I whisper, reaching over and planting a hand atop her head, gently ruffling that messy hair of hers. She mumbles something underneath her breath, her head pushing back into me in turn.
"Mn." She grunts, it's a soft, squeaking grunt at that, something that gets a chuckle out of me. My hand lingers on her head for a while longer before I pull away, the girl rolling around a little before her eyelids finally flicker open.
Seeing two pairs of gold so soon after one another isn't going to be good for my heart, but I adore the sight regardless.
"Sleep well kid?"
"Mhm." She answers, her body shuffling over to me. I can't help but smile a little, reaching out to her with an arm and pulling her close. It gets a small squeak out of her, her forehead tapping against my chest as she leans into it.
Fairly sure she'll give me a heart attack by herself, truthfully.
"I'm going to be heading out sometime soon, do you want to come with me?" I extend the offer, speaking softly to her.
"Okay." She answers after a moment, her head knocking against my chest once more. Reminds me of a cat. I reach up with a hand and place it on top of her head, gently massaging the back of it. She seems to enjoy it.
I don't want her to feel restricted in where she goes and where she stays, but there's not many places she can go, at least not without any issues. It's either here, or wherever I go. I can't help but feel a bit bad about it.
I also don't want to disappoint her, but, hm...
"Hey, kid?"
"Mn?"
"Do you want to play with Felicity again? If you do, and if we end up in town, I'll ask Lyn about it." It's another offer, and a bit of a gamble. Truthfully, I'm not sure if we're heading into town, but there's no harm in offering. At least, I sure hope there's no harm in it.
She's silent for a while, long enough for me to second guess myself. Ah, fuck me then, at least I can fix this mistake.
"If you don't want to-"
"N-no!" The sudden determination catches me off guard, even if it comes out as a muffled squeak. I can feel her shoving her face into my chest, her arms reaching around my sides. "I-I mean, I do, but are you sure it's okay?"
Christ, she sounds so hesitant to actually answer, as if verbally stepping on eggshells. I force a smile on my face, even though she can't see it, ruffling her hair once again.
"Without a doubt in my mind, kid. If you want to, and if Lyn's alright with it, I'll be more than happy for you to go with her." Even if the nerves in my chest jump at the thought of her going somewhere without me again, I can stomach it for her happiness. It's just nerves, that's all, she'll be fine.
She deserves some good memories, and spending time with a friend her age would be one, right? I recall Gerome mentioning something about that before, this'll probably count.
Her grip around me tightens for a moment longer before she nods.
"I'd like that." She finally answers, in that soft, timid voice of hers. My smile widens, my hand trailing from hair to ear and massaging away.
"Thata girl." She lets out a giggle, her head moving around a bit to rest her chin on my chest to look up to me, a delightful glimmer in her eyes. It's an adorable sight.
And she doesn't seem too willing to let go, either of me or of the warmth.
"Do you want to sleep in for a bit longer?"
"Yes please." That gets another chuckle out of me, and a giggle from her in turn.
And why not? She deserves the comfort, after all.
Rest well, kid, and I'll do the same in turn.