To Imperius a Boggart; or, The Family You Choose
There's just a few days of the term left, and Harry is having a picnic in a clearing near the edge of the forbidden forest, talking and smiling with James and Lily.
Hermione, Marauder's map in hand is gobsmacked when she first sees them, then runs to them. The map only shows Harry, and his dot is right on the edge of the parchment; a bit deeper in the forest and she'd not been able to find him.
"Harry, what happened? Are those really your parents?" Just then she worries these might be impostors, planning to hurt, kidnap or use Harry for their own ends. She feels for her wand, and wishes she'd brought along an adult. She readies to flee.
"Of sorts. Hermione, meet Boggart Lily and Boggart James. Boggart parents, you already know all about Hermione, I am sure." Wait, boggart!?
"Enchanted". Says what looks like Lily Potter.
"Wonderful girl, Harry, you only need to help her let loose once in a while". Faux James.
Hermione wonders if she's having a weird dream. She pinches herself. Ouch. Not a dream, then, just a deranged friend. Which hangs out with boggarts. "How...?"
"I was reviewing for the defense exam, and it hit me. Boggarts are able to read minds, right? They have to be, to find your deepest fear. And they can shape-shift into whatever shape they want. That's like two of the classic superpowers, combined in one being. Imagine what could be achieved with those. So I find myself a boggart, but rather than use Riddikulus I use Imperio." Hermione looks ready to burst. He preempts the eruption, talking fast: "It's fine, I have checked, it's only illegal when used on humans and beings like goblins or centaurs. Dark creatures are fair game."
Back to normal: "So I put it under the Imperius, and as a test I command it to find out all it can about my parents using its telepathy thing, while invisible, or if it can't, something very small and easy to ignore, then come back to me in a week, take human form, and start talking about what it's found out. I want to know more about them, you know, but I still find asking strangers and our teachers about it very hard. Blame the Dursleys. And I can't help but think the things the adults tell me are... highly embellished, let's say. Anyways, turns out a properly motivated boggart makes an excellent spy."
All through this, the boggarts are quiet and looking agreeable, nodding at the right places.
"And the picnic and laughter? Why have them impersonate your parents? Where did the second boggart come from?"
"Well, you see, normally all a boggart wants is to be nice, snug and happy in a quiet, dark, small space. There they find contentment." For some reason, Harry nods and a small, sad expression mars his face. "It is only when they are bothered that they use their defense mechanism. They just want that peace, and will go to any lenghts to achieve it. Turns out the Imperius feels much better than that, so they take no issue with me using it on them, quite the opposite.
"What they learned to scare people they forget as soon as it is of no use to them, but since I ordered them to remember all they learn about my parents, or concerning me and my friends, in case they learn of some danger to us, and useful skills and stuff, that's all they know, period. The more they have learned about them, the more they act like them. Mimicry is their nature. Add to that a desire to please me, and you have the next best thing to my parents. Far better than a wizarding portrait, which I also don't have.
"As for why there's two, you know sea stars? Kinda the same thing, but a lot faster, actually. A bit freaky to watch it happen, mind."
Hermione feels a pang in her heart for her friend. The lenghts he's had to go to get a fraction of what she takes for granted. She resolves to be a better daughter. She's been so obsessed with learning magic (but who wouldn't?), and being in a boarding school with only letters and a few weeks of vacation, she's been growing distanced from her parents. No more.
"Oh, Harry!" She hugs him, and for once he doesn't flinch back or stiffen.
"Don't worry, Hermione, I know they are not my real parents. Just some very odd... friends, which happen to know a lot about them. Still, this summer is going to be fun. Aunt Petunia has a lot to answer for. We have quite the scare planned for the Dursleys, just you watch. I am done feeling miserable if I can help it."
Hermione wonders if Harry plans to get a house somewhere and live there alone with the boggarts. Is his home life truly that bad with the Dursleys that this seems logical? Are the boggarts going to get jobs to make rent?
"Wait, what was that about reading minds and knowing about me?" She feels a bit nauseous.
"Well, they can't help it, can they? Don't worry, I have sworn them to secrecy. And rest assured I won't pry into your private thoughts. That's just... wrong. You are a friend, and it would be like... I wouldn't ever do anything like that to you. I feel filthy just thinking about it." Butterflies chase away the nausea. Of course, Harry, bloody noble Harry wouldn't take advantage of the circumstances to "get one over" her like that. He's just that kind of person, and no horrible relatives or disinterested responsible adults will change that. Still, that he's given thought to it...
"And that's the other thing. Turns out wizards can do the same thing, even if they lack the natural talent. It's called legilimency, and it's highly restricted, as you can imagine. If there's any book about it in Hogwarts, it must be in the restricted section. The thing is, it's very hard to prove that someone has done it, or even detect it. The silver lining is that we can learn how to protect us from it, it's called occlumency. The boggarts think they can help. A skilled occlumens can block even them. Even throw off veritaserum, which is why it is not reliable in court. Snape is one, so is Dumbledore, a few other teachers, most older Slytherins, as well a surprising amount of older purebloods and halfbloods from other houses. A bit of an open secret, really. Of course, nobody thought to tell us, did they? Funny, that." At the thought of how many people are likely intimately familiar with her insecurities and dreams, her private moments laid bare for all to know to take a peek, the nausea is back. Surely Dumbledore wouldn't allow this? Then she thinks of all else that goes on and has gone on under Dumbledore's crooked nose since she became a student at his school.
"As for the food, I was hungry and Dobby is a great friend to have, when he's not trying to save your life. Also, boggarts normally feed off of magical energy. I wanted to see if they can digest real food, maybe they even can form permanent, solid bodies, who knows?"
An hour later, while above and around them Harry is flying with "James", who doesn't need a broom but makes one appear anyways, and changes his hair colour to Weasley red, Hermione is chatting amicably with Boggart Lily about charms, whom, having made a study of Flitwick's and every other teacher's and Hogsmeade resident's memories, is no slouch, when the acromantula decide to gatecrash the picnic. They are on the trees, and under them, millions of multifaceted eyes with a hungry look on them. They chitter at their prey.
"Best look away, dear."
Turning towards the acromantula, B. Lily starts turning decidedly big and serpentine. And is that a red crest at the top of her head? Oh, look, there's no acromantula.