Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki. This amazing anime was created by Asuka Yamazaki, Kazuhiko Hasegawa and Mitsutoshi Ogura. I only created my Asuna.
Editor / Beta Reader: Waffle (Thank you)
Rated Teen for violence, blood, coarse language and / or sexually suggestive scenes (rating may change to Mature in the future as story progresses, readers have been advised).
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Kiss Of Snow
By: Swanna
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Chapter 6: Distrust
Souji was heading towards Asuna's chamber since it was time for his afternoon surveillance duty. It'd been a week since Hijikata and Sannan had traveled to Osaka for an assignment. Before they'd left, Hijikata had commanded all the Captains to continue watching her around the clock. Souji felt the man's concerns over her was unneeded and sorely misplaced. To have a man guarding a demoness was pointless, as he highly doubted she could be stopped if she had truly wanted to take their blood.
Hijikata had also made it no secret that he didn't trust her or her presence anywhere near the men. The irony was his actions glaringly contradicted this notion when he had allowed her to stay here with the Shinsengumi.
That is Hijikata Toshizou for you, Souji mused to himself with a grin. A complex and paradoxical man who hides behind the warrior mask.
"Hajime-kun, you can take it easy now," he announced to Saito who stood with his arms crossed and his back against the wall while facing ahead. "I'm here to take over."
"Thanks," he didn't look away from the garden as Souji came closer.
Interested to know what he was staring at, Souji followed Saito's line of vision and saw Asuna sitting on the stone bench a few feet away. She was looking at the light snow falling down gently from the gray sky, scrutinizing every little snowflake that landed on her uplifted right palm. It was as if she was fascinated by every single form and size. She looked quite at peace. It was hard to believe she was the same demoness who had attacked him a few weeks ago.
"I'm surprised that you would ignore Hijikata-san's order and let her out of the room," Souji commented with a smirk, leaning against the wall next to him.
"If she is allowed to dine with us, then I don't see the harm in letting her to be out in the garden every so often," came a forthright reply that Souji agreed with.
Hijikata had instructed them to postpone the nightly patrols with Asuna until his return from Osaka, so very soon she would be released from her confinement anyway. But Souji wondered how Hijikata would react when he found out that they had defied his words. Again. Souji always took pleasure in the Demon Vice-Commander's annoyance. Sometimes Souji would kick it up a notch and became his source of anger by driving him up the wall on purpose. It was hilarious to Souji to see the normally rational and authoritative Hijikata lose his cool.
"According to the letter that Hijikata-san sent, they should be returning today," stated Souji.
Saito nodded in silence, his mind troubled by thoughts of Sannan and his injuries. Even now, two days since the arrival of Hijikata's letter, everyone was still very concerned with the grim news that they had received. Apparently the two had been ambushed by a group of masked men during their duties in Osaka. Sannan had sustained deep wounds to his left arm as they'd fought their way out of the death trap.
None of the others wanted to say it, but the prevailing thought was that due to the severity of his injuries, there may be a high possibility that Sannan could never wield a blade again. Could there be a worse fate than this for a samurai warrior? Souji couldn't help but wonder if there would be anything meaningful enough in his own life to keep him going if the situation was reversed and he couldn't fight with a sword anymore.
No. Like many of the Shinsengumi members, his life would change to one with unfulfilled dreams; a life that'd become meaningless and Souji would lose all his sense of purpose in his wretched existence.
"I will let you take over since I have some errands to take care of," Saito's statement interrupted his repugnant thoughts and prevented Souji from wallowing in self-pity further.
"Aren't you also on cooking duty today too?" Souji asked casually with a stretch of his arms above his head.
Saito glanced his way for the first time. "What about it?"
Souji grinned knowingly without meeting his eyes. "I assume that means agedashi tofu will be on tonight's dinner menu again?"
"Tofu is an inexpensive, excellent source of protein," his explanation was short yet logical.
"Are you sure there aren't other reasons aside from the nutrition value, Hajime-kun?"
Saito didn't blink even once when he said, "Since I'm uncertain where this conversation is leading to, I will take my leave now."
Souji smirked at Saito's predictable attempt to dodge the conversation. He turned his attention back to Asuna and walked towards her. This would be the first time he was alone with the demoness since the attack.
As he sat down next to her on the stone bench, her striking aquamarine eyes met his briefly. He was fascinated by the tiny flickers of pale silver light that came and went in the darkness of her pupils. Dangerous and untamed, she was the most exotic woman he'd ever seen in his life. Her gaze rested on the scarf wrapped around his neck.
"The bite marks are healing up nicely, they are almost unnoticeable now," he removed the neckwear and showed her for reassurance.
She tore her gaze away and looked straight ahead as she spoke, "It wasn't my intention to hurt you."
Souji almost thought she was feeling remorse for attacking him. Or maybe he was reading too much into every little detail of her minimal reaction.
"It's not a big deal. Next time just choose a less visible place to bite when you feed on me again," he answered with a teasing grin.
"There won't be next time," she turned to stare at him sharply, her eyes were filled with obvious determination. "I won't lose control again."
Souji suddenly felt a lump in his throat and his coughing caught the demoness' undivided attention.
"You are ill." It was a blunt statement. "I tasted sickness in your blood."
Souji knew his health had taken a turn for a worse and his coughing was becoming more frequent and violent; it troubled him and kept him up at nights. He figured with proper rest and medication, he should be able to recover soon.
"It's just a bad cough I couldn't rid of since I refuse to be constrained to my bed."
Asuna remained silent but she held his gaze attentively. Souji found this demoness captivating in a way that he couldn't understand. The urge to touch her grew again.
"Are you worried about me, Asuna-chan?" He asked with a grin as he leaned his face closer to hers. "If anything happens to me, you can always turn me into a Rasetsu."
"You would become a creature that lives on human blood for all eternity. For a simple drop of blood you may end up hurting the closest ones around you. Is that the fate you are willing to choose over death?" She tilted her head slightly; her question was full of genuine curiosity as she tried to understand his choice in destiny.
"I'm actually not afraid of death if that is what you are asking. In fact none of the men here are afraid to die."
They wouldn't have established the Shinsengumi and put their lives at risk on a daily basis if they'd cared about living to see another day.
"Then why would you want to be turned?"
He found himself saying, "Maybe I find the idea of spending an eternity with Asuna-chan inviting."
Asuna ignored his comment as her expression remaining impassive. There wasn't even a hint of blush on her pale face. This demoness was not only attractive, she was as cold a woman as he'd ever met. Souji would have to thaw her out enough to gain information about her lineage.
"Have you ever turned anyone before?"
"Yes, a mortal man."
This revelation piqued Souji's interest. He was curious about her relationship with this man. He must have been important to her from the outset, or she would not have turned him into a Rasetsu.
"What happened after you turned him?" He was momentarily diverted from the seduction of her fair, flawless skin.
"I killed him." There was no evidence of hesitation in her response.
Her answer may have been void of emotion, but Souji wondered if she had felt anything during the moment when she took the man's life. More than that, he wanted to know if she cared.
"Was he losing control so you decided to end his misery?" asked Souji. The compulsion to reach out and touch her soft hair was so strong, he didn't bother to resist.
"Why do you always touch me?" She asked instead of responding, calmly retreating away from him. Her long silky raven locks slowly slipped out of his fingers.
Souji wouldn't deny that a part of him had been infatuated with her the moment he'd laid eyes on her – she had looked beautiful and imposing, two traits that he had never seen together before, but worked extremely well for her.
"Does it make you uncomfortable? Do demons not take pleasure in touching?"
"It is a needless concept to us. We don't touch unless it is necessary."
"That's no way to live. Perhaps I can change your mind," Souji paid close attention to her reaction at the thought of his implications.
He liked the idea of disturbing this intriguing female on a sensual level, even though as a Captain he had to consider the deeper ramifications of what he'd learned and how it could be used against her if a situation called for it.
Asuna rose from the bench abruptly, appearing to be alarmed.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"I smell the scent of blood in the air," she replied in a calm voice, tilting her head up to take in the scent.
Souji's first thought was that perhaps a comrade had sustained injuries during training, but he soon discovered that there was an accident when he heard a child crying nearby.
"Stay here," he commanded Asuna before leaving her unattended as he dashed around the corner of the external corridor, trying to locate the source of the cries.
From behind the bare tree he saw the little boy, Mitsugu Takeshi lying on the ground, bleeding and unconscious.
Souji hurried to Takeshi's side and checked for a pulse on his neck. Relief instantly washed over him when he found that there was one, indicating that the boy was still alive.
"What happened, Sachi?" Souji asked the younger sister crying beside her older brother's unmoving body.
"My mo-mother's handkerchief was blown up the tree by the wind and my brother was tr-trying to climb up the tree to get it back for me. B-but he slipped and fell…is he going to die, Okita-san?!" Her small hands gripped Souji's arm in desperation for positive reassurance.
Takeshi had quite a deep laceration on his forehead and the cut would need stitching. Souji was also concerned that the boy may have sustained a concussion and some broken bones as well but he would live through his injuries.
Souji gently stroked the girl's hair back from her tear-streaked face and gave her an assured smile, "Don't worry, Sachi, your brother will be fine but I need to take him to Chizuru-chan for medical attention right away."
As Souji carefully reached down and picked up Takeshi's limp form, he heard Sachi ask, "Who are you?"
He turned and saw Asuna standing before them, her expression unreadable as she focused her attention on the unconscious boy in his arms.
"You shouldn't be here, Asuna-chan. Return to your chamber now," Souji urged, worrying that the demoness was experiencing withdrawal cravings at the sight of blood.
She ignored his commands as if she didn't hear his words and continued to stare at Takeshi. Souji decided to step into her line of vision when he called for her attention with a much firmer and serious tone.
"Asuna." She snapped out of her trance and blinked at him. "Go back to your chamber immediately."
Just when he was about to move past her, Hijikata suddenly appeared behind her.
"What happened here?" He demanded, scrutinizing the situation for a moment before glaring at the back of Asuna's head.
Although the accident caused a severe misunderstanding of the actual situation, the demoness chose to not defend herself at all. Wordless, she attempted to walk away from Hijikata, but he had already retrieved his sword from the scabbard and pointed it at her.
"Care to explain the situation or do I have to force it out of you?" he asked in a dark tone.
She turned to meet his eyes evenly, almost challenging. "You're quick to draw your sword at me."
"It was an accident," Souji quickly interrupted as he stepped in between them, subduing the growing tension as neither side was ready to back down from the other. "We have to tend to Takeshi's wounds first. I will explain what happened on the way."
Hijakata hesitated for a brief moment as he took a quick glance at Takeshi before sheathing his blade.
"Sachi," Hijakata turned to the little girl who had been hiding behind Souji, peering at the adults from behind his leg. "Come with us to look for Yukimura."
They hurried towards the main house, leaving the demoness behind as she stayed rooted in place.
X X X
"How is Takeshi doing?" inquired Hijikata.
"Fortunately his wounds weren't as deep as I expected, and there appears to be no broken bones either," Chizuru replied as she finished bandaging his head. "We should let him rest more and minimize his movements when he wakes."
"Is my brother going to be alright?" Sachi asked as she tugged at Souji's pants.
"Your brother will be just fine," Souji patted her head. "The wounds may leave a scar on his forehead but it will be a sign of manly honor."
Sachi nodded quietly even though Souji was certain that the six year old child was unable to understand men's honor.
"Okita-san, who was the girl in the garden? I've never seen her before."
Souji crouched beside her and grinned. "She's pretty, isn't she?"
Sachi nodded again.
"Her name is Asuna-chan and she is my lover."
"Lover?" Sachi's brows knitted together in pure confusion. "What is a lover?"
"What kind of nonsense are you spouting to a child now?!" Hijikata raised his voice and an expression of annoyance was etched across his face.
Souji straightened and simply flashed the Demon Vice-Commander a knowing smirk. He felt delight as Hijikata almost bared his teeth at him.
"And Sachi," he turned his attention to the child, who was now trembling from fear. "Who gave you permission to play in the south wing's garden? You and Takeshi are forbidden to step beyond the south quarters without my express permission."
Sachi did not answer or look at Hijikata. Instead, she nodded at a place on the floor.
"Seems like someone is in a bad mood again," said Souji. "It was you who allowed her to stay here so maybe you should trust her more."
To Souji's surprise it seemed that the level of distrust hadn't lessened a bit, even after he explained the accident to Hijikata. Although his face had somewhat softened a little, if he had felt guilty for presuming that Asuna was responsible for Takeshi's injuries then he didn't show it.
"I'm just looking out for all Shinsengumi members. Am I wrong for not wanting the same incident to happen again?"
Souji understood he was referring to the attack and since Chizuru hadn't learned the truth yet, the men were trying to be more discreet in their discussion.
"Chizuru-chan, what are your opinions of Asuna-chan?"
Chizuru widened her eyes as she realized that she was being looped into the conversation involuntarily. "I don't know if it's my place to…In fact, the more I think about it-"
"Chizuru-chan," Souji said. "Just spit it out. It's an order."
She nodded. "I do not know Shinohara-san well enough to pass judgement of her character. But I don't sense any evil intentions from her."
When both men remained silent, she continued, "Excuse me if I spoke out of turn."
"Not at all, Chizuru-chan," Souji smiled at her. "We can always count on you for an honest opinion."
Not wanting the child to hear what he was about to say, Souji bent over to Sachi's level and said, "Don't worry about your brother. Chizuru-chan will be looking after him so he is under great care. You should go back and join the others now."
Sachi took one last glance at her unconscious brother in bed, thanked the adults and bowed politely before exiting the room.
Souji then turned his attention to Hijikata once again. "If you distrust her so much then you should just kill her."
Hijikata stayed silent but his eyes hardened to a familiar impenetrable gaze.
Souji placed a hand on the Vice-Commander's shoulder and cocked his head to one side, grinning arrogantly at him. "But you can't bring yourself to kill her, can you?"
Hijikata continued to remain silent.
"If that's the case then you should try to get along better with her," he suggested as he waved his hand in the air and headed towards the door, leaving the stubborn samurai to ponder over their conversation.
X X X
As nightfall came it brought the threat of a coming storm. The bright blue sky had transformed into an ocean of darkness. The hot air was heavy and thick with the scent of blood and sweat.
"Hurry and guard the door! The mortals are searching for Asuna-sama! We must not let them break into the mansion!"
Asuna heard the rising commotion outside. The human troops had rallied together and had come to their home to slay them. She quickly retrieved her family blade and hurried towards the door to aid her parents in battle, but her guardian stepped in her way to stop her.
"Move out of my way, Takeda," she warned her guardian, reminding him of her authority as the young princess of the Shinohara clan.
The man with maroon hair stared down at her with matching adamancy, unwilling to sway. "You have to stay here."
"I have to help my parents." She attempted to move past him but he grabbed her upper arm, holding her back.
"Asuna, you can't-"
Suddenly the wooden door slid open and her father entered the room. His clothes were torn and bloody, but he did not appear injured. His hands were covered in blood.
"Father," Asuna looked behind her father and didn't see her mother following from behind so she asked, "Where is mother?"
Her father looked away without answering. His expression was one that Asuna had never seen before. In that instant, she knew her mother was not returning. Suddenly she felt as if she was suffocating, drowning with this heavy sensation in her chest.
"Asuna," her father began. "I want you to leave here with Takeda, he will guard you and protect you from danger."
"No," she mustered the strength to speak again. "I will fight alongside you."
"Don't be a foolish child!" Her father yelled. "You will only become my distraction if I have to worry about your safety in battle."
"The mortals are already aware of my existence. Even if I escape now, they won't stop hunting for me no matter where I go."
Her father's face was strangely placid, as if he had already thought of this in advance. It was then, the family's chief servant and her personal maid, Sen walked into the room. She was dressed in Asuna's pale yellow kimono and had a grim look of determination on her face. Asuna immediately realized what her father's plan was.
Her anger surfaced. "No. I am not going to allow her or anyone else to be my substitute."
"Asuna, listen to me," Her father called out sternly. "You carry the blood of the Shinohara, you are our only hope. It is your duty to live on and make sure our family lineage does not end with you, understand?"
Asuna met his gaze but she refused to answer. Her father pressed again, "Do you understand?"
"Yes," came a weak reply.
He placed his hand on her face, his fingers stroking her cheek with such gentleness that she had never experienced from her father before. "Takeda will take good care of you in my absence."
Her father then quickly turned to walk out the door and back into the battlefield again. Asuna could only stare at her father's retreating form, and had a feeling that this would be the last time that she'd ever see him again.
"Asuna-sama, you need to leave with Takeda-san before it's too late," the chief servant pleaded.
Asuna turned to Sen and grabbed her upper arm. "Leave with us. You don't have to do this, we can escape together."
The girl shook her head, her lips curved upward. "This was my choice, Asuna-sama. I would've died as a human long time ago if your parents didn't save me and provide me a new life here. My life belongs to the Shinohara family and now it's my chance to repay my debt."
"I don't need you to sacrifice your life in my place!" Asuna's voice rose in anger.
"Asuna-sama, it has been my greatest honor to serve you. Even though I was brought back and assigned as your personal maid, you never once treated me like a servant. Thank you for your kindness, I'm so glad we were able to meet."
An attendant rushed into the room and shouted, "The mortals have broken into the house! Asuna-sama, you must hurry and leave!"
"Asuna, we have to leave now," Takeda urged.
"No."
"Asuna-sama, please! You must go with Takeda-san now!"
"I said no, I'm not leaving!"
Takeda picked Asuna up into his arms and carried her as they fled into the garden from the back of the mansion.
"Takeda, put me down! I can't leave them, I have to go back!"
He ignored her pleas and continued running towards the tall stone walls surrounding the household.
The paper door was quickly closed behind them and she watched the movements of the shadowy figures as a group of men barged into the room.
"No…no! Takeda, let me go!"
From the silhouette, she watched a man lifted his sword above her maid's head, who remained motionless without struggles as he brought down his weapon and struck her, turning her to ashes. She wanted to scream as the horror of the situation dawned on her, but Takeda's hand firmly covered her cries as they left silently into the night.
X X X
Asuna bolted up in panic with beads of sweat coating her forehead, her black kimono clinging tightly against her damp body. Her breathing was loud and heavy but it was her erratic heartbeat that was difficult to control.
It was a dream, she thought to herself. The same dream that had haunted her since that unforgettable night.
Bright moonlight shone through the closed windows on her far right and it took a moment for her mind to slowly shift back to reality. She suddenly found herself suffocating in this confined chamber.
She had to leave the room.
Knowing that one of the Captains, Shinpachi, was guarding her room until dawn, she teleported up to the rooftop. She sat down soundlessly and breathed in the cold, winter air and gradually felt calmer. With a lift of her chin, she gazed up at the blazing full moon.
Maybe if she stared hard enough, she could forget about the lurid images that plagued her. She felt as if a fist had clenched her heart, as memories of her parents and Sen awakened. Although it had been decades ago, it seemed as if everything had only happened yesterday. It was like a long, tormenting nightmare that Asuna felt trapped in and couldn't wake from. The spirits of the past constantly whispered in her mind.
In the past whenever Asuna had this nightmare, Takeda would take her into his arms and soothe away her pain, promising that he would make things better for her. Takeda had always been by her side every step of the way, and provided her with unlimited support as a guardian that she had unknowingly grown dependent on. But this time it would be different, and it would also never be the same again either.
It had been a long time since she'd had this dream and she wondered what had brought this on again. It may have been the sight of the injured human child today that had reminded her of Sen; or the conversation that she'd had with the Vice-Commander and his Captain days ago when she'd shared a piece of her background with them.
During that conversation Asuna remembered that Saito had wanted to know how she managed to escape from the massacre, and she had evaded the question before he could inquire further. She didn't want to remember it, didn't want to relive the moment that Sen had been cut down before she'd had a chance to live, and Asuna had been there to watch her death helplessly.
Now that she thought about it, perhaps it was Senhime's name and her spirited nature that had reminded her of Sen. Asuna had felt…comfortable around Senhime ever since they had first met. That would also justify her strange sense of commitment in protecting the young demoness from Mitsuru.
The sound of a sword slashing in the air interrupted her train of thoughts and she found herself appreciating the distraction. She noticed Sannan was practicing his swordplay with his right hand, while his left arm appeared to be injured and wrapped in a cloth. Witnessing the human so keen on improving his skills despite his injuries, Asuna was also determined to keep her promise and reunite with Senhime soon.
That was the least that she could do for now.
X X X
AUTHOR NOTE:
I am truly sorry for the long delay. I really have no excuse to justify myself. I've simply lost the motivation to write due to my busy personal life and work, and I apologize for that *sweatdrops*.
I do want to thank the readers who have been following this story patiently. I may update the chapters slower than many authors but I can promise that I will not give up my stories. I will also try to post new chapters more frequently, no more long breaks like the last one. Funny thing was even my beta reader, Waffle has forgotten about the plot since it's been so long lol…
But thank to my recent trip to Japan (actually I just returned on Friday), I found the inspiration to write again! Visiting castles and shrines have really helped me to get back into the mood lol. It was my first time visiting Japan and I will definitely go there again. I also bought six nendoroids (yes, I am very obsessed with them), had to buy a new suitcase for those haha but it was worth it!
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as we finally have a glimpse of Asuna's past and explanation for her commitment towards Senhime. Please let me know what you guys think – as usual, feedback and reviews are always appreciated!
Thank you all and see you in Chapter 7!