Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki. This amazing anime was created by Asuka Yamazaki, Kazuhiko Hasegawa and Mitsutoshi Ogura. I only created my Shinohara and some side characters.
Editor / Beta Reader: Waffle (Thank you)
Rated Teen for violence, blood, coarse language and / or sexually suggestive scenes (rating may change to Mature in the future as story progresses, readers have been advised).
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Kiss Of Snow
By: Swanna
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Chapter 8: Decision
Kazama sat on the window sill to lean out further, catching a breath of cold air as he looked up into the night sky. A sliver of moon appeared, only to be quickly shielded by a scudding cloud as he drank his sake. The warm liquor tasted light and sweet as it ran down his throat. Although mortals were pathetic and fragile beings, he had to commend them on their creations. He especially appreciated the artistic, architectural cities that the mortals managed to design and build. Unfortunately these fools were more than willing to destroy their own sublime accomplishments when they fought each other. Kazama grimaced in disgust and held his breath. While he took pleasure in their creativity, he understood that humanity was corrupt when it came to power and wealth.
As a pureblood demon and the head of the Kazama Clan, he certainly would never have lowered himself to interact with the humans if it hadn't been for the debt that he had to pay. The Satsuma family had aided his during the genocide years ago, and because of the humans' interference his clan had avoided persecution and had managed with minimal casualties. This reason alone was enough for him to lend his strength to the Satsuma's cause in their war. Despite his hatred towards humans, Kazama was bound by his sense of obligation to fight for them. His late father would've done the same. After all it was his father who'd taught Kazama about honor, commitment and pride. He was also taught to use any means necessary when his enemies came for him.
Although the Kazama Clan had narrowly escaped death, many of his kind hadn't shared the same fortunate fate. Just like the Shinohara Clan, one of the most powerful demon clans in the south. The family had been almost wiped out entirely overnight and their house was burnt down to the ground. Only the daughter and her servant had managed to evade the annihilation.
"Shinohara Asuna."
He tested the name on his tongue, liking the way it fell from his lips. Thinking about her was a subconscious habit as his mind involuntarily drifted back to their first encounter. Her servant had been rather astute and discerning to have thought of the Kazama Clan when they were seeking refuge from the humans. Unfortunately his efforts had been rendered futile and in vain when the Shinohara princess had imprudently rejected his father's proposition. When she'd been given a choice to stay with the Kazama Clan without her servant and be protected by his family, she had chosen to leave with the Rasetsu instead.
"What a foolish girl," Kazama snorted quietly.
He despised mortals, but he hated Rasetsu even more. They were fakes; nothing but blood-lusting monsters trying to harness power that wasn't meant for their bodies. It wasn't meant for any mortal. So it was wrong to treat Rasetsu as equals to demons. It was Shinohara Asuna's mistake to have valued her servant's existence over her own. A mistake that could've possibly cost her life and the extinction of her lineage. Regardless, it had been decades since he'd last seen and heard of her. Kazama wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised to learn of her death.
Kazama's train of thought was interrupted when the door creaked open. There was only one person who knew he was presently residing at the Ikeda Inn. Kyuujyu Amagiri entered into the room. Behind him trailed another man, someone Kazama recognized but wasn't anticipating to be here.
"Oh? Uchiyama Einosuke," Kazama inclined his head slightly with a grin as he regarded the brown-haired demon. "To what honor do I owe your unexpected visit?"
Even though Kazama didn't invite him in, Einosuke already entered the room and seated himself down before reaching out for the bottle of sake. "I chanced upon Amagiri as he was entering the inn and figured he must be here with you. I felt I had to come and speak with you."
"Concerning…?"
"My sister Mitsuru, of course," the man said, frowning at Kazama. "You've probably heard by now that she's dead, and I'm here to find the killer to answer for my sister's death and disgrace."
Kazama remembered Uchiyama Mitsuru. She tormented for pleasure and murdered for sport, turning mortals into Rasetsu as pets. Her idea of entertainment always involved violence and cruelty as she was a strong and ruthless demoness; her skill in swordplay unquestioned. As such she was held in greater esteem than her brother even though he was older. However his seniority granted him the legitimacy to be the head of the Uchiyama Clan in the north.
Kazama was nothing like the two siblings. While he could care less about their callous disregard for mortal life, he wouldn't torture his victims and instead put them quickly out of their misery. Naturally, the siblings made more enemies than they could count. One of Mitsuru's foes must have had finally caught up with her and took her life.
"Do you have any leads to the killer?" asked Amagiri. There was almost a hint of sympathy in his curt tone.
"Not yet, but if the killer was able to defeat Mitsuru then it must be someone strong. Whoever killed her also took our family heirloom."
Kazama's curiosity piqued. "The demon slaying sword?"
"You seem rather familiar with our family's weapons," Einosuke commented with pride, appearing pleased with the notoriety of his family's possessions.
"Hmph," Kazama smirked in amusement at the man's narcissism and decided to bring him down a peg. "I just find it ironic and absurd that a demon clan would carry the one weapon that can hurt them. It seems a suicidal idea to me."
Einosuke's mouth was twisted into a snarl as he slammed his fist onto the table and shot back, "I didn't come here to suffer insults to my people!"
"Then what did you come here for? To help you get revenge against your sister's killer?" It would be truly disappointing and demeaning if the head of the Uchiyama Clan wasn't able to take on his own enemy and fight his own battle.
"I want you to use your connections with Satsuma to find my sword," he demanded straightforwardly. "It will lead me to the bastard who's responsible for my sister's death and I will rip him limb from limb!"
"If that's all you want, then I will lend you a hand," Kazama replied, turning his head to stare out at the quiescent street below.
"I assume you're currently on a mission and will be staying in Kyoto for the next couple of days. I will wait for your good news," Einosuke waved his hand and disappeared into the corridor.
Amagiri closed the door before speaking again. "Why did you agree to help him?"
"Sometimes vengeance is justice and every man deserves a chance to make things right," Kazama watched as a few flakes of snow began to fall. The wind, which had been slight, died away entirely. "Besides, I have no intention of returning the sword to him once I find it."
Douji-giri Yasutsuna was an incomparable legendary sword. It'd once been used by a demon named Minamoto Yorimitsu to slay another pureblooded demon. Einosuke's ancestors had come across the sword after the passing of its original owner. Since then, the weapon had become Uchiyama Clan's legacy and it'd been handed down through the generations. With a blade like this in his possession Kazama could easily vanquish his enemies, mortals and demons alike.
After all everything came with a price in life, and if revenge was something Uchiyama Einosuke needed perilously then he should be ready to pay the price for it.
X X X
Asuna's morning passed by rather swiftly and it was lunch time before she was made aware of it. By the time she followed Saito to the dining hall, all the other Captains were already seated at their usual positions. They were prattling among themselves as they waited with a tray of food placed before them. Chizuru entered into the room shortly after Kondou and Hijikata, carrying two more trays in her hands.
Asuna's eyes met those of Hijikata the moment he sat down. Instead of turning away, she examined the man for a moment. For the first time, the alertness of his stare gave way slightly. As if something had shifted between them. Changed. But nothing had.
Perhaps it was her perspective of him that had changed. Though he'd been arbitrary and interfering at times, Asuna saw another side of him during their first night of patrol. They were from different worlds; they wanted different things from life and if circumstances hadn't brought them together, their paths would have never crossed. She had thought him no different than the other mortals she'd met, but he appeared to be more than that.
He had a tender side to his character that was rarely shown, but only to people he trusted. That night when he'd admonished her about her self-inflicted injury, it'd left her in a confused state that she was unaccustomed to, and made her feel almost as if he truly cared for her even though she was a demon.
Or perhaps it could all just be an act? An act for effect? Was this all an effort on his part to win her trust so that she would keep her side of their bargain? After all, mortals were known to practice deliberate deceit and cunning to get what they wanted.
"Finally, we can eat!" Heisuke's exclaimed with eagerness, causing Asuna to be the first to look away from their held gaze. "I'm starving."
"You're always starving, kid. But all the food you eat doesn't make you any bigger or taller. You're still as thin as a twig," Shinpachi laughed, ruffling the young Captain's hair.
Heisuke swatted his hand away, evidently irritated to be regarded as a child. "I don't get fat like you."
Shinpachi snorted as he flexed his arm muscles, reveling in his own strength. "This isn't fat, it's muscle, you idiot!"
"Too bad you're all muscle, but no brain," Sanosuke chimed in nonchalantly, prompting laughter from Heisuke.
"Hey! Whose side are you on?"
"I'm neutral and that's why my opinion matters more." A placid comment that brought slight agitation to Shinpachi and caused a scowl to appear on his face.
"You're a pompous ass."
"That sounds like something a man with no proper comeback would say," Souji concurred with the other two Captains, smirking.
Asuna didn't understand it but Souji seemed to be taking pleasure in riling his comrades up, though he had never been cruel to them.
"You stay out of this one, Okita!" Shinpachi growled but Souji's smirk only grew wider.
Heisuke grinned when he picked up his chopsticks deftly and said, "The satisfaction of seeing the bully being bullied is indescribable."
Before he could take a bite, Shinpachi reached over and pulled him into a headlock. "Why, you little brat!"
"Enough." Kondou intervened sternly. "Stop fooling around, you monkeys. You're embarrassing yourselves in front of Shinohara-san."
All eyes turned to her, only to be met with silence. There was nothing she wanted to say. Surely she would prefer her solitude and yet there was something that appeared to draw her to this group of mortals. They seemed so engrossed and…alive.
Perhaps it was their energy and the fact that they didn't care whether they lived or died, and lived each day as if it was their last. It was as if death, whenever it'd come, meant nothing to them; while many of their kind simply wished to prolong their lives and those of their families by all means and at any costs. Some had attempted to do so even if it meant selecting others to die.
"It's good that you're getting them to clean up their act; I grow tired of having to tell them every time I try to have a peaceful meal," Hijikata remarked as he picked up his eating utensil.
Asuna watched while he skillfully deboned the small fish with his chopsticks before bringing a piece of white meat to his mouth.
"By the way Shinohara-san, thanks to you we have gained more knowledge on these Rasetsu," Kondou said with a smile. "Now we have a better idea of where to start looking."
"We had a deal and I'm only keeping my side of it. Nothing more, nothing less."
"We've been living under the same roof for more than two months now and you're still acting so cold, so distant, Asuna-chan. Just like an ice princess." Souji grinned at her the way he always did when they were alone, toying with her hair and twisting a lock around his finger and sniffing it. "You make me want thaw you out."
"Souji! That's not an appropriate way to act and speak to a woman!" Kondou scolded him for his seemingly unacceptable conduct.
"Yeah, do you guys ever stop flirting?" Heisuke asked warily. "It's getting old already."
Asuna ignored the commotion around her and wished to return to her meal. As she looked around the room she noticed that Saito was quietly eating his steamed rice. He did not appear to want to be involved in the conversation.
"Guilty," Sanosuke placed a palm to his exposed chest. "But I only flirt with girls I'm interested in."
He and Chizuru held each other's eyes momentarily, then she looked down; her cheeks flushed a becoming shade of pink. It made Asuna wonder why he had this effect on Chizuru. It made her even more curious as the young demoness didn't seem to dislike it.
"I wouldn't call it flirting," Shinpachi commented. "It's my way of showing respect to women."
Heisuke snorted, expressing his opinion without a word.
"What makes you think I wasn't being sincere?" Souji challenged, his emerald eyes glinting.
"You are never serious about any one woman," it was Hijikata who spoke up this time. "When you mess up your chance with one woman, you just move on to the next one."
"Maybe I just haven't found the right woman until now," his grin widened. Asuna could hear the delights in his words, but she didn't understand his meaning. "But I never knew you were that interested in my love life, Hijikata-san."
"We all are," Kondou chimed in. "I always told you monkeys to settle down with a nice girl and start a family. Especially you, Toshi. You're old enough to be a father. You ought to have a son of your own to carry on your legacy."
Asuna watched Hijikata's displeased reaction while her mind wondered what kind of woman he'd be attracted to. Given his assertive nature, he wouldn't want someone like her who'd always go against his wills, she surmised. Maybe someone as prim and proper and feminine like Chizuru. She could picture him at a lavish garden in that future with a wife and little black-haired children scampering around. She wasn't sure how or why, but somehow she knew he would be a caring husband and father. No matter what the cost to himself, he would protect them.
"Why am I being dragged into this?" Hijikata refuted and suddenly he glanced her way. Their eyes met again. That was when she realized she had been staring at him much too long so she looked away unconcernedly.
"You should take the advice from Kondou-san since he's wedded and you're not," Souji commented, his lips curved.
Kondou waved his hand dismissively. "I just got lucky. Normally women don't like stiff and boring men like me who only know of warfare and farming."
Asuna didn't think the self-portrait Kondou painted was realistic. She didn't think he was stiff and boring. To this group of mortals, he was good company and a respectable leader. But more than that, she appreciated his sincerity and attentiveness.
"Hey, how come no one is concerned about my love life? Maybe you guys should give me some pointers so I can woo a fine aristocratic lady of my own!" Shinpachi guffawed.
"I don't know about that, you're a lost cause when it comes to love," Sanosuke mocked with a smirk.
The room was filled with chuckles and laughter but it quickly subsided the moment Sannan entered the room. His eyes scanned the room and the men watched him, their expressions turned solemn.
"Seems like I interrupted the fun," he said with a weak smile that seemed rather forced.
He looked languid from weariness, yet there was the light of intelligence on his countenance. His deeply sunken eyes were one moment bright, and enervated the next. He looked like a man stretched to the breaking point from tiredness and emotion and sheer workload.
"Nonsense," Kondou said as he gestured Sannan to join them. "Come and sit down."
"I will go and reheat the food for you, Sannan-san. It will be quick," Chizuru offered as she picked up his untouched meal.
"That's not necessary. I'm not hungry now, thank you. When my medicine is ready, can you please bring it to me in the garden? I will be practicing there."
"Of course," she replied softly.
A disapproving expression flashed across Kondou's face. "Sannan, you need to eat and give your body time to rest. Otherwise you may end up worsening your injury, which could force you to stop exercising altogether until you are healed."
"I'm useless to you all as I am right now so I need to practice," the words were accompanied by a derisive smile that left his comrades speechless. "But I know my limits too well to overstep them, so please don't worry Kondou-san."
With that being said, he bowed and exited the room.
"What has gotten into Sannan-san?" asked Heisuke, frowning. "He's acting like a completely different person now."
"He hasn't been himself ever since the injury," Saito responded, his tone was measured.
Apparently the arm injury that Sannan had sustained during his mission in Osaka had left him disabled, at least as far as swordplay was concerned.
"He's been coming down hard on his members too, but some of them are too afraid to come forward about his aggressive treatment and training," Sanosuke added as his eyes fell upon their Commander, presumably waiting for him to come up with a resolution or a justification to Sannan's behaviors.
"Sannan-san is a fighter, he will pull through," Hijikata intercepted smoothly. "Just give him some time."
"If he is as strong as you portray him, then he wouldn't have taken his frustration out on his men." Asuna imposed her assessment even though it was none of her concern and she had no part in this conversation.
How the human chose to forget his troubles were not her business. But she found it irritating when mortals lived in their self-created denial by preferring not to confront the blinding truth before them. Even when it turned out that they had the wrong facts, they were still convinced that the act was fair and remissible. If they were true warriors then shouldn't they be held accountable for outcomes and rewarded or penalized accordingly?
Hijikata narrowed his eyes in an expression of solemn inquiry. "The man may never be able to wield a sword again. Do you have the slightest clue of what that means to a samurai?"
She noticed his agitation. Though she wasn't sure if it was because he didn't like to be challenged publicly and have his leadership questioned, or he simply wanted to protect and defend his ally's honor.
When she chose to remain silent, he continued. "It's not easy for him to accept that part of his life as a samurai has gone and his lifelong dreams being shattered; and I am positive that I'm speaking for every one of us in this room when I say this too. It will take some time for Sannan-san to re-evaluate his priorities so the least we could do is be patient."
His comments made the mortals speechless as they began to think on his words and how they would have coped with the situation themselves, or what they were capable of doing.
"Even if it's at your own men's expense and demoralizing them? You, as their Vice-Commander can accept that?" she questioned, addressing the foremost concern that remained unresolved in the Captains' minds.
She couldn't fathom what it would be like for Sannan as she was unable to connect even part of herself to them, though she'd seen him train using his non-dominant hand and understood the ability to wield a sword was rather important to him. But the one thing she knew was that they should find a solution, as the issue would still persist even if they chose to avoid discussing it.
"The after effects of his injury left him temporarily less able to contain his angry outbursts and we will address it if it gets out of hand. There's no need for you to concern yourself over our affairs when you're not part of the Shinsengumi."
"Those are really harsh words, Toshi," Kondou interrupted with disdain. "You shouldn't be speaking to Shinohara-san like this especially when she's aiding us."
His words penetrated her deeper than she expected, and she couldn't even understand why herself.
"He has a point, this has nothing to do with me," she agreed with a displayed calmness, much to their surprise.
"Maybe we should finish our meals and get back to our own duties," Sanosuke suggested to relieve the tension between them as others couldn't think of anything to say and complied.
Hijikata looked over at her for the last time before she rose from her position and left the room in silence.
Shortly after Asuna left the room she headed towards the kitchen instead of returning to her chamber, hoping to scavenge food for the stray kitten she was keeping. She could have returned to the group of mortals and collect her tray of untouched food, but in this moment she didn't want to be in Hijikata Toshizou's presence. Given his annoyance towards her, he'd probably also prefer to stay as far away from her as he could get too.
His spoken words were harsh, yet they were true. Despite their mutual agreement, she was and would never be part of the Shinsengumi's inner circle. And truth be told, it really wasn't any of her business what he decided to do with his own men. She only felt the need to speak her thoughts anyway. Perhaps human thoughts and emotions were simply too complex for her to properly understand, even if she tried.
As she entered the small kitchen, she gathered a clean bowl and scooped some steamed rice from the round, flat-bottomed wooden tub. Just when she was about to leave, she noticed the cooking pot on top of the stove that was boiling. She drew in deep breaths of the heavy herbal scent that filled the room and figured it was Sannan's medicine. After a moment of contemplating, she made a decision that she hoped she would not regret.
X X X
Hijikata was fully aware that he had shoved his instinctive urge to protect his allies into antagonism towards the demoness. His hands were curled, his fingernails scraping the inside of his palm, as he thought of his earlier struggles to keep himself from saying words that could not be taken back.
He understood her perspective of this situation and she had made a valid point regarding Sannan's reduced sense of control. However, not everything was black and white. The man had committed his life to Kondou and the welfare of the Shinsengumi. He grew in his faith and put his life on the line as he led their men in countless battles. Sannan had honor to defend and that was exactly what Hijikata did in his absence.
So why did he still feel like shit?
He didn't know this woman that well, didn't particularly like her, and he definitely didn't like himself whenever he was around her. And yet, here he was, chasing after her as soon as she left the dining room. What did he hope to achieve?
Certainly not to apologize, as he had meant almost every word he said to her on the subject of Sannan's condition. Almost every word.
Or maybe another reason behind his unexplainable compulsion towards her was because of his conscience gnawing at him. Either way, he wasn't sure what he would do once he caught up with her. Trying to convince a willful demoness and to make her understand a mortal man's deepest needs was a fool's errand. It wasn't that he thought she didn't have the innate ability to comprehend their feelings. He just didn't think she cared enough about mortals given her past with them.
But his guilt soon transitioned into suspicion when he realized Shinohara was heading in the opposite direction of her chamber. He followed her to the kitchen and watched as she gradually approached a cooking pot on the stove. After a moment of hesitation, she picked up a knife nearby and sliced her palm open, spilling blood into the pot.
"What are you doing?" Hijikata stormed into view and gripped her forearm, forcing her to look up.
A slow blink and he could almost see her trying to regroup in her head. She didn't attempt to free herself from his grasp, but his hold was so tight that he might have left fingerprint bruises on her skin.
"What if I told you that my blood can heal external wounds? And Sannan can recover from his injuries if he drinks my blood?" she retorted, unflinching. Her expression was unreadable and guarded. "Or maybe I only want to turn him into a Rasetsu."
The verbal volley took him by surprise. "Just what the hell are you trying to do?"
"There's violence in your eyes when you look at me," came the quiet response. "Even when you tried to be civil with me, your hostility and distrust remain, simmering beneath the surface. There is something about me that antagonizes you."
Hijikata gritted his teeth. "I could have taken advantage of your injuries and killed you the moment I found out you're a demon. But I didn't." And it had been his choice. The part of him that needed her to live had overruled the cold calculation of the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander who saw her as a threat. "Unless and until you betray us and prove me wrong, I won't ever lay a hand on you."
Her eyes went to the hand he still had on her forearm.
"I don't give a damn if I'm hurting you right now," he stepped closer to her but she refused to budge; so close that her breasts brushed against his chest with every exhaled breath. "I'm not letting go until you decide to explain yourself."
"There is no point for me to explain when you distrust me this much."
There was almost defiance in her eyes as she continued looking up at him. Her audacity captivated and enthralled him, which was why he was so infuriated with her and with himself. With his ire quietly raging, he let go and had to get away from her before he did something unforgiveable.
As if to push him further, she continued relentlessly, "Whether he receives the medicine or not it will be your choice to make, but I will only spill my blood for Sannan Keisuke once. So choose wisely Vice-Commander, as the mortal's fate is now in your hands."
She licked the blood from her healed palm, her gaze locked with his briefly before moving past him. Though he didn't turn his body to keep her in his line of vision. Instead, his eyes were on the cooking pot as an internal debate began to wage in his mind. If he made the wrong decision, then he would be responsible for taking away Sannan's only chance to recover fully and completely. Or he would be the one who turned him into a blood-lusting Rasetsu indirectly. It was a gamble, and you should only gamble what you could afford to lose. And he couldn't afford to lose.
Frustrated, Hijikata punched the wall with his fist, ignoring the stinging pain in his knuckles. He'd never been so angry with a woman in his life to the point of hurting her, but here, in the kitchen, he'd come perilously close. He hated that he couldn't control his body around her, hated the man he became when he was with her, hated that her presence alone was enough to strip away his civilized nature.
This demoness, for some incomprehensible reason, drew him in like a moth to a flame. And he honestly didn't have the first clue about how to deal with her. But there was one thing he was certain about; if she tried to bring him to heel by jeopardizing the life of any Shinsengumi member, then she'd find herself face-to-face with the cold-blooded samurai at his core.
X X X
AUTHOR NOTE:
*Ducks garbage thrown my way* I know, I know! I am terribly sorry for the long hiatus! Long story short, work life has been hectic and I've had no energy left to write at night time after work. But I know I've been slacking long enough so I guess it's time for me to get back to my writing.
For those of you who have been waiting for my updates patiently, sorry and thank you! I really appreciate you guys and thank you for the constant support.
I will get to work on the next chapter right away! And things are getting more interesting as Kazama finally makes his appearance in the story (love that hottie).
I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
See you all next time!