Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki. This amazing anime was created by Asuka Yamazaki, Kazuhiko Hasegawa and Mitsutoshi Ogura. I only created my Asuna and some side characters.
Editor / Beta Reader: Waffle (Thank you for being the bestest!)
Rated Teen for violence, blood, coarse language and / or sexually suggestive scenes (rating may change to Mature in the future as story progresses, readers have been advised).
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Kiss Of Snow
By: Swanna
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Chapter 18: A Night at Shimabara
Frozen to the spot, Asuna could only stare back at the girl before her. It was Senhime.
Deep in her mind, she had always known that sometime, somewhere, she would cross paths with Senhime again. At least, she'd thought that she had anticipated it. And yet, now that it had happened, Asuna found that she was unprepared for her own reaction to the young demoness's embrace.
The moment their eyes met, Senhime rushed over and wrapped her arms around Asuna's waist, her head resting lightly on her shoulder. The quiver in her voice triggered a strange sinking feeling in Asuna's chest. "You really did come for me."
Instead of returning her affection, Asuna pulled away to look at her face. Her suspicion was confirmed when she saw tears brimming in Senhime's eyes. She wanted to halt those tears but didn't know how. It was just like the day they'd parted, when Asuna had made a promise to find her. A vow she had been determined to keep up to this day.
"Why are you crying again?"
"I'm just really happy. These are tears of joy," she replied reassuringly, smiling and sniffling at the same time. With a deep breath, she resisted a tear that was clinging to her eyelashes. When she blinked, Asuna lifted a finger to catch the tear before it fell.
"Your behaviour is odd, just like them." The mortals - so emotional, so attached to others until they began acting in a thoughtless manner and did unnecessary things.
"We're also very happy for your reunion. This is certainly the best news we've had in some time," Kondou stated, excitement building in him.
Out of the corner of her eye, Asuna caught a glimpse of a woman with long black hair watching her heedfully, but did not speak. Her demonic energy was stronger and more notable than Senhime's. She managed a weak smile and bowed her head at Asuna as soon as their gaze collided across the room.
After collecting herself once again, Senhime said, "Thank you for your help, Kondou-san. Asuna and I wouldn't have reunited so soon without the Shinsengumi's assistance."
"Ah, don't mention it." He held up his hand and smiled. His sincerity was unquestioned by those who knew him well, including Asuna. After spending several months with the Shinsengumi, she had seen enough to make that conclusion herself. "It was our honor. Asuna has helped us a lot during her stay too."
"Speaking of which, we don't want to impose and cause you more inconvenience than necessary. Asuna will be leaving with me when I return to my village."
The room grew silent. The impromptu revelation struck Asuna so forcibly that her mind was deluged with questions. "Your village?"
She nodded her head in affirmation. "I will tell you more about my village later. You will come to love it there."
"That's a decision she can make for herself," Hijikata snapped unexpectedly, his quiet tone was as sharp as the edge of a blade.
When his gaze flickered over Asuna, he was looking at her in the same way that unsettled her with its directness. There was a hard glint in his eyes. Something seemed to be irritating him, but she couldn't figure out what it could be.
Senhime made an attempt to dispel the sudden tension in the air and avoid imminent confrontation when she said, "Of course. It will be Asuna's choice."
Sannan finally spoke up. "You don't have to come up with a decision right away, Asuna. I'm certain Kondou-san wouldn't mind you staying here in the meantime while you think things through."
"Definitely. She's my niece after all." The laughter in their Commander's eyes were palpable.
Senhime gave her an inquiring look. "Niece?"
"I will explain later."
There were many questions they had for each other, but now wasn't the ideal time or place to ask them. Senhime gave a quick nod of acknowledgment before shifting the focus of the conversation away from themselves.
"By the way, I'd like to invite you and your associates to Sumi tonight as a token of appreciation for everything that you've done for us, Kondou-san."
"That's very generous of you." Kondou then turned to Hijikata. "What do you say, Toshi?"
Hijikata cast him an amused glance, his exasperation seemed to have dissipated as fast as it rose. "You're the Chief, remember? It's your orders we're supposed to follow."
"In that case, we'll be there tonight."
"Since I don't share the same enthusiasm for liquor, I shall stay behind and finish my heavy load of paperwork instead," said Sannan as he adjusted the glasses on his nose.
Asuna recognized that sign. Whenever this modest Vice-Commander needed to contemplate on nonmaterial matters, his fingers moved to the round metal frames.
Apparently it was a device that claimed to improve an individual's eyesight. This was only one of the minor changes brought on by the transition of time, with the country becoming more 'Westernized', as the mortals had called it. Asuna wasn't sure if she could ever prepare herself for the new world they were ultimately bound to live in.
"Souji should also stay and rest too, his coughing is getting worse these days." Kondou lowered his head, looking worried.
"I already invited Doctor Matsumoto to come and pay Souji a visit. Our men are due for a physical examination anyway," Hijikata pointed out solemnly.
"That's a wise decision."
Hijikata may not have shown it, but Asuna could tell he was also concerned with Souji's deteriorating physical condition, especially when he was already receiving treatments with little improvement. She could still remember the taste of sickness in Souji's blood. It was an unusual metallic taste unlike any other person she'd ever taken blood from.
Evidently the men had hoped to find a new regimen through a physical evaluation to cure him. However, Asuna knew it was a disease much darker and much more deadly…possibly even remediless, but she had no intention of sharing this with anyone else. Because if her prediction was accurate, then nothing and no one could improve his prognosis and alter his fate. Souji's remaining time would become a precious commodity to him, and he should continue living his life to the fullest rather than wallowing in self-pity or succumbing to the darkness of complete despair.
"Well then, I will make sure to have a private guest room ready to welcome you all tonight," Senhime declared before turning to Asuna once more, and taking her hands. "I can't wait to talk to you later."
That smile with a fearless, revealing transparency told Asuna just about everything she needed to know regarding Senhime's inner thoughts. The fact that they were together again was all that mattered.
X X X
As they arrived at Sumi in Shimabara, Senhime and two of her aides were already standing by and waiting for them at the entrance. They were brought upstairs where a woman dressed in a light green kimono led the men to a separate room, while Asuna followed Senhime to her own living quarters. Through the long hallway, she could hear the melodies from a high-pitched stringed instrument mingled with chatter and laughter behind the closed doors of many private rooms.
"How did you end up owning this place?" Asuna asked after Senhime dismissed her aides and closed the door behind them. The room was quite bare yet there was no sense of emptiness about it.
Tatami mats covered the entire floor of the quarters, and off to the side of the room was the set of sliding windows that led to an outdoor porch. Beyond that laid the stone lantern-lit garden by which they had entered through. To their right stood a wooden shelf with a tall vase that held an intricate flower arrangement, composed of masses of blooms. The scent of mixed flowers permeated through the room, pleasing her senses.
"My family owns many properties across the country and this is just one of them. It's convenient to operate on our own territories when we need to travel to different urban cities where the mortals reside." Senhime led Asuna to the center of the quarters and kneeled, primly folding her hands, palms down, in her lap. Asuna did the same as she situated herself on the mat next to her. "I'm really glad to know that you're safe. I was so worried about you when the news about Mitsuru's death reached me."
"How did you know I was at the Shinsengumi's headquarters?"
"Their men were going around the city seemingly searching for me. In the beginning I was tentative and cautious, I thought that perhaps I might have been discovered by the humans. So I asked my guardian to investigate who they were and their intentions. Then this morning, through a streak of luck we came across one of the Shinsengumi's Captains at the market. I believe his name is Saito? He approached me, and that was when I learned that you're residing with them. I came to see you immediately."
There was something else being said here. "Your guardian?"
"Yes, Kimigiku is my guardian. She was with me this morning. She's a member of the Shinobi Clan that has served my family throughout the generations." There was an unmistakable implicit trust in her voice when she spoke of her guardian.
Asuna could understand her notion. Takeda had also been a guardian whom she'd trusted and believed in completely. After all these years, she still remembered the strength and warmth of him; how she'd come to depend upon him when a devouring darkness had threatened to overtake her and swallow her whole.
"So why are you staying with the Shinsengumi in the first place?" Senhime finally asked the question that had been hanging in the air since this morning.
"I ran into the Shinsengumi leaders on the first night I arrived in the city. Due to some misunderstandings, they took me in for questioning. At the time due to the extent of my injuries, I decided to follow them back to their headquarters for a place to heal. I've been staying with them ever since."
Thinking back, four months ago was a long time. And a lot had happened since then. Unfortunately, a lot hadn't happened either. Neither Asuna or the Shinsengumi had been able to resolve the mystery behind the manifestation of Rasetsu in the city. Nor had she found out who had been attacking the mortals, turning them into mindless creatures. From her understanding, the Commanders would convene a meeting to further discuss the matter soon so the Shinsengumi could relate their findings to their Emperor.
"And I assume that they don't know you're a demon."
"Hijikata and two other Shinsengumi Captains are aware of my true identity." Asuna corrected.
"Hijikata? Is he the man who Kondou refers to as Toshi?" The answer was verified with a simple nod of the head. "I did notice he has a strong, almost commanding presence."
"He holds the real power over the Shinsengumi's affairs in his role as Vice-Commander."
And Asuna could see how that would be possible. Hijikata had the confidence and conviction of knowing the appropriate response the moment there needed to be one. He would also make spontaneous decisions without hesitation if it was required of him.
During her stay with the Shinsengumi, she'd seen him dive into a senseless cycle of running himself ragged while trying to take care of everything and everyone. Kondou and Chizuru had both reminded him not to overdo it numerous times, but he still did. Because as the Vice-Commander who possessed a will of iron and endless endurance, he believed this was the way to bring order to the Shinsengumi.
"I see. So he knows you're a demon but still allowed you stay with them and even hid your identity from his Commander and allies?" There was doubt in Senhime's expression when she asked the question.
"It was part of our mutual agreement." An agreement that Asuna decided not to elaborate on in details.
"You appear to trust him too otherwise you wouldn't have stayed with them this entire time."
The unexpected comment made Asuna pause briefly. "He hasn't given me a reason not to trust him so far."
In the early days, circumstances had led her to believe the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander was credible to at least keep her secret, and he hadn't betrayed her trust after all.
"There's something different about you that I can't quite put my finger on. But you seem…less distant." Senhime's eyes were focusing on her now, rather intently, as if to probe something beneath the surface. Asuna wasn't sure where this part of the conversation was leading and she didn't want to find out either.
"No there's not." Her short, sharp answer was all that needed to be said.
Knowing better than to meddle, Senhime abandoned the topic. "Regarding what we discussed this morning, I'd really like you to come with me to my village. It's a remote place far away from the mortals that we can all live in peace and security."
"I only intended to keep my promise to come find you after I'd dealt with Mitsuru. Then I would return to the forest." It was the complete truth.
"So you can be alone for the rest of your life?"
"I prefer my solitude."
The thought of loneliness had never oppressed Asuna and she was simply content to be left alone. Solitude had endowed her with freedom. She luxuriated in the quickening beat of early autumn in a forest glade. High on a clifftop, she could hear the sounds of nature from small animals and other majestic creatures when the world fell silent. It was a life free from power and violence, pain and death; a life free from the suffering of her past.
Senhime took her hands, squeezing them gently between her own. "You've risked your life to save mine and I want to do something for you in return. I want to give you a place that you can think of as your home."
"I chose to get myself involved in your conflict with Mitsuru so you didn't owe me anything."
"But I really want us to stay together, Asuna-chan. I know you'll need some time to think about this and I won't pressure you into making a decision right now. But please at least consider it?"
Asuna didn't say anything.
Because the truth was no matter how hard Senhime tried, they were moving in different directions. Her feelings made no difference to Asuna. Although she may want to keep her distance from the mortals, she also had no intention of assimilating back into the demon world. A world she had long left behind her.
X X X
"Wait, why am I doing this?" A feeble complaint escaped Heisuke as both Sanosuke and Shinpachi placed round ceramic plates on top of his hands. Standing on the tatami mat, Heisuke tried to balance them using his index fingers only.
"It's because you were bragging about your quick reflexes and outstanding body balance. But we all know words are easier spoken than done. So you have to prove yourself." Sanosuke flashed him a wide toothy grin, and briskly moved away once the plate was secured on Heisuke's right hand. "Now make sure you don't drop the plates."
"And how long am I supposed to stand like this for?"
"Until Hijikata-san finishes his bottle of sake over there." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Hijikata, who was sitting with Kondou and Saito at the other end of the room.
"Leave me out of this," Hijikata told them, not bothering to look their way. If he wasn't in such a foul mood, perhaps he would have enjoyed their camaraderie.
These men were battle-hardened comrades who had faced ultimate life and death together. It was unquestionable that their friendship was a solid one, forged under adversity. There was a special quality in it that everyone around them recognized. The one possible bond between them was their mutual trust; the trust that they'd always have each other's back as competent, trustworthy companions.
Shinpachi turned to his accomplice. "That's true, why are we using Hijikata-san to measure time?"
"That's because Toshi can't hold his liquor, like an old man." Kondou chuckled as he joined in the conversation, more relaxed than usual. His dark eyes glinted when he laughed, and he laughed quite often.
Shinpachi guffawed, slamming his thigh. "If you can't stomach your liquor then you shouldn't go drinking!"
"Watch it." Hijikata shot him a glare. It was a warning for the man to steer clear.
"So what do I get if I win?" asked Heisuke, returning their attention to him.
"I'm thinking, hang on." Sanosuke rubbed his chin, his brow furrowed in thought. "You get to keep your pride."
The unsatisfactory response made Heisuke fumble, almost ruining his stability. "What?! I'm doing all this just for that?"
Sanosuke's brow couldn't arch any higher. "Are you saying your pride isn't worth it?"
"Fine, fine. We'll buy you drinks next time if you win, so quit your whining and moaning," Shinpachi added flatly.
The frown on Heisuke's face changed to a broad grin. "Now that's more like it. Alright, let's do this!"
The room exploded with thunderous roars, clapping hands and pounding feet. Kondou shook his head in resignation. "Those monkeys…Well I guess there's no harm in letting them have their fun once in a while to work off their stress."
"They come here for fun on their own all the time anyway," Hijikata reproached. Though he would've forced them to exercise more restraint if he was truly convinced that their leisure activities were impacting the performance of their daily duties.
"Let's just enjoy ourselves tonight, not often we get a chance like this. Seems like Asuna and Senhime have a lot to talk about too."
Hijikata threw his head back, swallowing the sake in one single gulp as it burned in his throat. "It seems so."
"I'm glad she was able to find her friend. But that means she will be leaving soon, which is unfortunate. I was just warming to the idea of having her around as my niece too."
Although Hijikata didn't want to convey his internal feelings to anyone, he also liked the idea of having Shinohara so close. He realized he wasn't surprised at the direction of his thoughts, only disturbed by the strength of them. But things were about to change, and this was the outcome he had anticipated all along.
"Looks like Kondou-san really takes joy in being an uncle," Saito pointed out, speaking up for the first time since they'd entered the room.
Even though Kondou was clearly disappointed, his chortle of delight remained unabated. "I supposed. Asuna isn't my real niece but I still took a fancy to her, and just the thought of having a family member with me is comforting. That's why I always felt sorry for her and Chizuru, traveling alone through a wild city to search for their missing loved ones," he explained pensively, raising the small sake-filled cup to his lips and downing it in a mouthful.
Kondou didn't mention it, but there was a sadness in his eyes that showed how much he missed his wife and daughter, and worried about their welfare. As the Chief of the Shinsengumi, he ought to be prepared to make enemies. He understood that inevitably there would come a time when his enemies would pick up on his weaknesses and use it against him. So Kondou had to toughen his heart and left his family behind in Hino. Because in order to keep them safe from his enemies, he'd also need to keep them away from himself as well. Though at times the man felt he belonged with them.
Kondou continued, "Speaking of Chizuru, make sure we continue to help her locate her father's whereabouts."
Hijikata lifted his own cup to his lips. As Chizuru had learned the truth about her true identity, she would need her father now more than ever. He had no arguments with that request. "We'll do what we can."
The screen door to their room slid open, and Shinohara walked in with Senhime behind her. Considering they were both demons, they were quite opposite in character and personality. Naturally Shinohara had an impassive face that didn't give anything away. On the other hand, Senhime carried a faint, cordial smile as she greeted the men with a dip of her head. Though Hijikata sensed a certain uneasiness she attempted to disguise. He wasn't sure if she simply disliked them or if she was concerned about their differences and had her reservations towards them as humans.
He had been making his observation this morning, trying to read the connection between them. He wondered at these two, so different and yet they appeared to be quite close, which was unusual for Shinohara. It aroused his curiosity about how they had met. However when he'd asked Senhime, she'd felt it wasn't the time to tell them how she and Shinohara had become acquainted, and that it would be a story for another day. To Hijikata, it sounded like a convenient excuse to escape the question without seeming rude.
"Is everything to your liking?" asked Senhime, serving as a gracious hostess.
"Yes, everything is great and this is definitely the best sake I've had in a long time. Thank you again for your invitation," Kondou answered with equal congeniality.
"You're welcome and that's good to hear. I have other duties that require my attention so I will leave you to enjoy yourselves. Please don't hesitate to let the servants know if you need anything else." She then turned to Shinohara; her smile growing even warmer. "We'll speak again soon."
Shinohara looked at her for a quick moment but remained wordless. It was impossible to interpret their expressions, but Hijikata realized that they had their ways of communicating silently. Interesting. How long had they known each other to have this type of connection? He'd been living with Shinohara for months and sometimes he never knew what she was truly thinking or feeling.
Shortly after Senhime left the room, Shinohara's eyes darted to Heisuke, who was still standing while balancing plates on his fingers. "What is he doing?"
"They're playing some kind of game with Heisuke to prove that he has a good balance," said Kondou, the grin never leaving his face.
"If it's to test his balance then shouldn't he also have a plate on his head?"
Everyone went quiet at her question, as if the air was sucked from the room, and all eyes were drawn to her.
"H-hey…" Heisuke was the first to break the silence. The other two Captains started talking over each other simultaneously.
"That's very insightful of you, Shinohara-kun!"
"Yeah, why didn't we think about that?! Let's get more plates!"
"What the hell?! That wasn't part of the deal!"
The men let out a loud cackle of laughter at the situation. Even Saito who was sitting so straight and stiff, had a small tug at the corner of his mouth. Hijikata wished he could do the same, but how he could find amusement in anything at this exact moment was beyond him. As if he couldn't take the hot, stale air in the room anymore, he decided to step out on to the balcony to catch some fresh air and to beat his frustration into submission. The night was mild and starlit. Hijikata allowed his mind to drift as he stood by the balcony railing, looking up at the night sky.
Since this morning he had stayed away from Shinohara, though he couldn't keep his eyes off her whenever an opportunity presented itself. For the entire day, he noticed he could hardly concentrate on anything since his mind kept returning to her. Much of his existence was to aid Kondou to be a great samurai, and he'd turned his talents towards the glorious purpose of establishing the Shinsengumi. He was content to have his life dedicated to that single cause, even if it meant his life was being lived for someone else. So it was bewildering to have Shinohara arrive and throw his carefully ordered existence into immediate chaos. At first, he had been reluctant to let her stay with the Shinsengumi, and now he didn't want to see her leave and never return.
There were times when he was angry with her, as angry as he'd ever been with anyone who wasn't an enemy. However, he could never dispute the fact that he found the demoness enticing and tempting. But to give in to such temptation would only lead to more frustration for himself when she'd shove him away. As she had admitted yesterday, she intended to fulfill her obligation to her people. Obligations that appeared to be far more important than herself or her own happiness. So Hijikata had decided to stop fighting against his feelings for her, though he would continue concealing them. But even if he couldn't have her, he wasn't ready to see her leave either.
He shook himself out of his conflicting thoughts and looked down at the narrow, bustling streets, watching people passing by until Shinohara was silently standing right next to him. Of course he heard her move, but he let her be.
"You shouldn't have pulled a prank on Heisuke like that. He just recently recovered from his head injury," Hijikata said without turning to look at her. He was aware that if he looked at her, his resolution would give way.
"I was merely asking a question."
Despite his current frame of mind, a grin still twitched his lips. He knew half of it was an act, but he liked her playfulness. "Sure you were."
They didn't say anything to each other for a few moments. As if they were in their own world, separated from the loud chattering and laughter surrounding them. The night breeze swirled around them while they stood together in comfortable silence. There was no need or urge to fill in the silence with aimless conversation. Perhaps it was the alcohol, or maybe reuniting with Senhime had raised Shinohara's spirits and she was in a lighter mood, but the atmosphere between them seemed to have shifted. For the first time in a long time, there was no tension between them, no anger now. It almost felt as if everything that happened between them had led up to this night.
"Thank you." The gentleness of Shinohara's voice broke the quiet darkness. "For fulfilling your part of our agreement."
Her gratitude towards Hijikata should've made him glad. But right now, those two words were a statement of the inevitable. He kept his eyes forward to focus on the glowing red lanterns hung around the building across from them. "You think I'm a man who does not keep his words?"
"I had my doubts since you're a mortal, but I chose to believe you in the end."
Hijikata inclined his head, finally settling his eyes on her. "Why?"
She seemed to be searching for words without meeting his gaze. Her neutral expression morphed into one of deep thought as she brushed her hair behind her ear. In that small, very feminine gesture that he didn't have the privilege to see often, his senses flooded. Her effortless sensuality took him by surprise. Even her demeanor was different tonight.
"Because you're different than the others. You don't regard me as evil incarnate even after learning what I truly am."
Anger churned in his gut and he had to take a deep breath to steady his nerves. He didn't know what she had gone through in her past, but he didn't like how she referred to herself as a monster of cruelty and wickedness. It was not accurate in the least, as time and again she had proved she wasn't a coldblooded demon who would kill without reason or care for the pain she'd cause. And demon or not, she was still compellingly beautiful.
He tried a lighter tone in order to disguise his private thoughts and feelings. "Evil incarnate? Aren't you being too harsh on yourself?"
Her body turned to ice as she continued staring straight ahead. "You simply have no idea what we're capable of. Or what we'd be like when our control slips away and we can't keep our darkness at bay."
Something lethal in her tone told him that she might have seen more of life's dark side than Hijikata could ever imagine. It only intensified his curiosity of her past even more.
"Besides Souji's incident which was justifiable since you were injured, you've shown yourself to be nothing of the sort."
"That's because you see what I choose to show you."
Hijikata refused to drop his eyes from her. "There were moments in my life when I trusted my gut instinct and I was seldom wrong. This was one of those times."
There was a thoughtful pause again. Then to his astonishment, Shinohara responded to him with the slightest curve of her lips. "You're nothing I've ever experienced. I don't think I'd be able to meet another human like you, Hijikata Toshizou."
At that moment, her amicable, serene expression touched him in an unfamiliar way. Then he realized that her smile was for him alone, and he was too stunned to say a word. She could completely undo him with that look. But nothing could rival the sudden ache in his chest, because somehow this felt like a farewell. A permanent one. It was the last thing he wanted.
"Are you leaving with Senhime?"
The hesitation on her face lingered briefly as she pondered his question. "I haven't decided yet. I don't think there is anything for me in her village."
"Then why don't you stay here?" he asked as he moved closer to her; his voice a shade shy of a whisper.
Hijikata knew he was a selfish bastard, and he didn't need to over analyze the reasons that made him want to keep her by his side. All he knew was that he wanted her there, right there beside him.
"I don't belong here, and there's nothing for me here either." Loneliness lurked behind those lustrous aquamarine eyes, along with a raw pain that he understood perfectly.
Hijikata instinctively closed the distance between them even more until she had to lift her head to look at him. "Maybe you will find something worth your while if you stay."
Shinohara stared at him without blinking, utterly confused by the ambiguity of his comment. No words came out of her barely parted lips. Hijikata longed to revel in the warmth of her mouth so many times that he had lost count.
For now he satisfied himself with reaching out to slide loose strands of silky soft hair through his fingers and tucked it behind her ear, slowly grazing her cheek and jawline in the process. His desire built with each caress.
A charged silence arched between them, and for several heartbeats neither moved. He savored the intoxicating softness of her skin under his fingertips before tracing the lushness of her lower lip with his thumb. She didn't protest his touch or move away from him like the other times, but she wasn't responding to him physically either. Her eyes were held wide open as she returned his gaze, and not even a touch of vulnerability showed. A wave of disappointment washed over Hijikata when he realized he was the only one struggling. If only this demoness knew the devastating effect she had on him.
She didn't know how it happened. One moment they were having a conversation about her plans, and the next his hand was already stroking her hair and touching her face. Shock raced through Asuna as she held herself immobile. Containing her reaction took a substantial amount of control that came from her lifetime of training. Hijikata was taller than average, but not exceptionally so. It was something about the way he carried himself that made him seem taller, powerful.
Like this instance, with him towering over her and gazing at her with such intensity that she had to force herself to look him in the eyes and appear calm. He watched her expression with incisive violet eyes that were a shade darker than usual, like shards of ice while his thumb continued to brush across her lip, causing her breath to catch in her throat. It was an intimate gesture, Asuna realized. A shattering reminder that no man had ever touched her like this.
"Oh, they're here!" The sound of Sanosuke's voice broke them apart suddenly, and Hijikata pulled his hand away. She turned to see Sanosuke and Shinpachi entering the balcony with a bottle and cups in their hands.
Sanosuke stood beside Hijikata, resting an elbow on his shoulder. Asuna caught his speculative look as his eyes moved from her to Hijikata and back again. "So, what are you two doing out here?"
"Right? It's celebration for your reunion with Senhime, so you should be drinking with us, Asuna!" Shinpachi chimed in agreement before either of them could speak, and passed a small cup to her. "Here! Bottoms up!"
Asuna took the cup and immediately the sharp, pungent smell of the clear liquid wafted upward. The strong smell almost made her frown.
"Stop harassing her, she doesn't drink liquor," said Hijikata. Although his face was now a tight mask blocking his every expression, the tone in his voice sounded much like disapproval.
His calmness made her feel agitated. Not at him, but herself. For her own weakness. Asuna was unable to read his intentions for these fleeting, meaningless gestures but she was the one who had allowed it, withstood it. Even though he'd removed his hand, she could still feel the imprinted heat of his touch on her skin and the brush of his fingers. Her senses were overwhelmed by what she'd experienced, almost too much to bear, and worse than that was the staggering fear. Because despite her forbearance, she didn't dislike the feel of him as much as she might have expected. That thought alone bothered her the most.
Shinpachi's loud voice brought Asuna out of her absorption. He appeared stunned by Hijikata's statement. "What? That's unacceptable! Men are notorious for getting girls drunk so they can-" He cut himself off before he said more than he intended. "I mean, it's all the more reason to drink and build up tolerance so men can't take advantage of you."
"Speak for yourself, Shinpachi. As if men could even come close without being knocked down by Shinohara-kun." Sanosuke snorted with mocking laughter.
"What are you babbling about?! I'm just looking out for her!"
Asuna turned her attention to the cup in her hand again. She'd never been curious about the taste of sake, but she presumed it would be acceptable since mortals seemed to enjoy indulging in it. Fully aware that the men were watching her, she took a cautious sip and felt the heated bitterness on her tongue. The taste was repulsive to her, making it very difficult to swallow. Without a word, Hijikata took the cup from her and gulped down the sake.
He must have seen her reaction, but he gave no sign of having acknowledged it. He was a man who hated to show weakness, so he understood as a prideful demon, she wouldn't want to either. It was a thoughtful gesture and she was thankful for it in spite of him being the reason for disturbing her balance of mind.
"What are you doing, Hijikata-san?! She was doing just fine on her own!" Shinpachi objected with a frown.
Sanosuke, on the other hand, looked amused. His eyes gleamed with unexpected humour and there was a trace of smirk on his lips. "I thought you don't like drinking. You changed your mind or what?"
Their Vice-Commander's face pulled into a scowl. "I'm not a drunkard like you both, and this crap is strong as hell. Didn't you have enough already? Don't make me wake your asses for your morning duties tomorrow."
"Enough?!" Shinpachi's exclamation rose above the clamour in the streets. "We're not even half way there yet! We can drink at least four more bottles."
"Four bottles? Try six."
"Are you challenging me, Sano?!"
"You bet I am. Just make sure you don't chicken out on the game like last time."
"That wasn't me! It was Heisuke! Alright brother, show me what you've got!" The boisterous, coarse laughter exuding from Shinpachi caused everyone standing beside him to smile or chuckle.
Everyone, except Asuna, who was determined to find her balance again.
X X X
It was quite late by the time they returned back to the Shinsengumi's headquarters. Everyone seemed to have had a good time due to the warm hospitality they received from Senhime. And Sanosuke would've had a much better time with his friends too if he wasn't so troubled.
He had honestly tried to keep himself occupied tonight. But a flood of other thoughts always came rushing to his head involuntarily despite his efforts to keep them out. Although he was physically present at Sumi, his thoughts were elsewhere – and that wasn't the worst of it all. He felt his heart was scalded and his brain hurt in his head. If this carried on any further then he had no doubt he would soon be driven to insanity too.
So Sanosuke decided enough was enough. If words alone were no longer cutting it, then he would have to take matters into his own hands like in this moment.
"Both of you are so annoying! Why did you drink to the brink of passing out?!" Heisuke grumbled under his breath as he struggled to drag both Shinpachi and Sanosuke towards their own rooms. Sanosuke allowed himself to stumble a few steps backwards then sideways.
Shinpachi repeatedly poked his finger on Heisuke's chest as he said, "You shoulda left us at Sumi so the ladies coulda had their ways with us!"
"You would love that, wouldn't you?!" Even though it was dark, Sanosuke could still see Heisuke's mouth twisted into a grimace of annoyance. "And why are you so heavy?! This is why I said you're all brawn but no brain!"
Feeling bad for the boy, Sanosuke loosened his grip a bit and redistributed his weight so he wasn't leaning on Heisuke with his full body mass. He then saw a shadowy figure emerging from the corner of the house. Here came the source of his troubled thoughts running towards them.
"Heisuke-kun! Is everything alright? Do you need help?"
"Perfect timing, Chizuru! Can you help Sano back to his quarters? Everyone just dumped these two onto me and left. I can't handle both of them at the same time."
Her eyes widened with a hint of uncertainty and alarm, already starting to edge away to keep the distance. "Maybe I should help Nagakura-san instead."
Watching her reaction caused a knot like a fist forming in Sanosuke's stomach. How was he going to handle this? In the months they'd spent together, they had gotten along so well and became close. They'd had a few trivial disagreements, but never a fight. Not like this. The damndest thing was there wasn't even a fight to begin with. So why was she being so cold to him suddenly and continuing to avoid him?
"This guy?! He's way too heavy for you."
"But I-"
"Who's too heavy for who?!" Shinpachi interrupted with his booming voice.
Sanosuke played along, stabbing a finger at his temple; his words were a deliberate slur. "He said you're too heavy for him!"
"Hah! Can't blame this twig since I'm all muscles after all!" Shinpachi started staggering as he flexed his biceps. Of all the men in the Shinsengumi, he was easily the most solidly built with biggest muscles. So Sanosuke couldn't blame the man for trying to show off even in his drunken state. "You see this?! It's all muscle!"
Heisuke caught Shinpachi's arm right before he tripped over himself and hoisted him up. Sanosuke had absolutely no clue where Heisuke got the strength to handle a man twice his size, but he imagined it wasn't easy for him considering sweat was running off his forehead.
"Ugh, I can't take this anymore! I'm leaving Sano to you, thank you, Chizuru!" Heisuke exclaimed, not waiting for her to change her mind. He then quickly released his hold on Sanosuke and Chizuru moved in to take his place.
"W-wait, Heisuke-kun!" She tried calling after him, but he didn't even look back as he had his hands full dealing with Shinpachi's suddenly wandering hands.
"Asahi-san," Shinpachi ran his fingers down Heisuke's face, his eyes squinting. "Why is your cheek so much rougher than I last remembered…?"
The poor boy swatted the hand away angrily. "Stop that! Keep your filthy hand to yourself before I chop it off for you!"
"So where are we going for drinking next, Heisuke?!" Sanosuke asked as he tightened his arm that was now around Chizuru's shoulder, bringing her attention back to him instead.
"You still want to drink when you can barely stand on your own feet?" He almost wanted to grin at her agitation when he swayed on purpose.
Soon they were standing in front of his room and Chizuru helped him inside, where he slumped onto the futon that he didn't bother to fold and put away this morning.
"Ehhh? Where's the server?! Need to get more liquor, ya know?" He asked, keeping up with his performance as Chizuru took off his zori for him.
"What you need is sleep, Harada-san."
"Sleep? Who needs sleep when we can drink till dawn?!"
"You're hopeless…" She let out a huge sigh and continued, "You will get in trouble with Kondou-san and Hijikata-san if you don't sober up in the morning."
Speaking of Hijikata, he still remembered being conscious of the tension between him and Asuna out at the balcony earlier. At first Sanosuke assumed it was because they didn't like each other and so it seemed that whenever those two were together, they always clashed. But then Sanosuke started noticing something far more entertaining. On occasions when they were present in a same room, Hijikata never spared her a glance, refusing to look directly at her – until she turned away. Then he tracked her every movement. Hijikata was falling for her.
Truth be told, Asuna did have her physical appeals. A tall, slender figure. A pretty face with unusual blue-green eyes. Though he was certain that Hijikata saw her as more than just a pretty face. He could tell she was intelligent just from the way she could size up a situation and come up with quick solutions. Like how she'd saved both Souji and Heisuke during the raid at Ikeda Inn and how she'd handled the guy named Kazama by herself - she was very independent.
As a matter of fact, she was too independent, too strong. That meant she would be too strong-willed to allow a man make decisions for her, as if she couldn't handle things on her own. She needed to be in control of her life. So Hijikata would probably have to go through great lengths to hide his intentions without being overbearing if he wanted a chance with her. It was rather funny to think how their great Demon Vice-Commander had finally fallen.
Directing his mind back to the woman before him, the woman who had captured Sanosuke's heart completely and held it tightly in her grasp ever since. The mere fact that she was still worried about him getting in trouble despite whatever was upsetting her was a good sign for him. It seemed like the least he could do right now was to spare her from any more worries.
"Stop your preaching, Heisuke and just come 'ere." Sanosuke reached out to catch her wrist, pulling her off balance so she fell on top of him. A helpless squeal escaped her lips the moment she landed breathless on his wide chest. He kept his other hand on her waist, preventing her from escaping.
"Let go, Harada-san! I'm not Heisuke!" Chizuru squirmed and struggled, but to no avail. "Harada-san! Let me go! I said I'm not Heisuke!"
This time, she pushed at his chest harder. She could put up a fight all she wanted but he wasn't planning to let her go anytime soon. After a while when she realized he wouldn't budge, she finally settled down in his arms. Sanosuke knew he would enjoy holding her like this, enjoying the warm scent and soft curves of her body against him.
It was a dirty trick to use on someone so trusting and unsuspecting. Yet if the only way to get through to this woman was to use extremes, then that would be the way he'd act even if he was cheating.
Chizuru felt small in his arms, he thought to himself while staring at the top of her head. So small and fragile. Yet she was also wholesome and attractive, dependable and loyal; a more than pleasant companion. No doubt she would make a wonderful wife one day when she found the right man. And that man wouldn't be him.
As a Captain of the Shinsengumi, Sanosuke was a risk taker with an unpredictable streak. A man who lived on the edge, a heartbeat from death. And knowing that his death would cause her pain, he just couldn't bring himself to put her through that and hurt her. Chizuru deserved a man who could commit to the family and to provide her with a stable, settled life – things that he wasn't able to give her. For now, he was content just to have her by his side like this.
"Would you still be so nice to me after you find out what I am?"
Her quiet question caught him by surprise and almost jolted him upright. Right now, he wished she wasn't facing away from him, because Sanosuke was certain that her expression alone would give away the secret that she was hiding something from him. Whatever she was referring to, it had to be the reason for her recent distant demeanor. What was she not telling him? Why wasn't she confiding in him so he could ease her worries and help shoulder her burdens? Although he didn't understand the implication of what she had just said, he would find out even if he had to force it out of her.
X X X
AUTHOR NOTE:
Hi everyone, firstly I'd like to thank Angelblueeyes21, Guest, Waltzing Muse and t-rexmermaid for taking your time to leave me a lovely review in previous chapter. It's so great to know you guys are enjoying the story and appreciating my work!
Special thanks to t-rexmermaid – I've honestly forgotten about Kondou's family as it's been a while since I've played the game, and so thank you for pointing it out! As you can see, I added a small detail in this chapter all because of you! I will also be revising chapter 8 soon!
Guys, I'm like a house flower plant and I need water and love to survive! So please keep showing me your love through your reviews! All feedbacks are welcome! Tell me how you feel about the chapters – whether you like it, love it or hate it (I hope not…)! Feel free to point out my errors if you spot any as well!
Waffle: Did you just refer yourself to house flower plant? That's lame…
Swanna: …I am what I am…lame but loveable.
Waffle: You? Loveable? Hah!
Swanna: If I'm not loveable then why are you spending hours to edit my chapters for free?
Waffle: …Touché.
Swanna: *Did her victory dance*
By the way, I did my research but I'm not sure if it's zori or geta (traditional Japanese wooden sandals). It just didn't seem like geta as it would've been very inconvenient for the guys to fight in them. So if anyone knows the answer, please let me know lol.
Alright, time to say bye for now! Please stay tuned for next chapter – I promise it will be exciting and action packed!