Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki. This amazing anime was created by Asuka Yamazaki, Kazuhiko Hasegawa and Mitsutoshi Ogura. I only created my Asuna and some side characters.
Beta Reader: Waffle (Thank you for being the bestest!)
Rated Teen for violence, blood, coarse language and / or sexually suggestive scenes (rating will change to Mature in the future as story progresses, readers have been advised).
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Kiss Of Snow
By: Swanna
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Chapter 22: The Ice Princess
Disinterested, Kazama leaned his elbow on the side of the window sill and rested his temple on his hand. He squinted hard at Shiranui Kyo through the narrow slit of his eyes as he listened to the demon.
"Most of the Choshu Domain's operations will be on hold for now until the wind blows over. The situation is quite desperate for them since they're being chased and hunted like dogs."
"Hmm," Kazama murmured, not really paying attention. He was numb to the knowledge of the humans' ongoing efforts in this particularly pointless war.
Shiranui folded his arms, accentuating the distinctive tattoos that encircled his left shoulder and bicep. "A few of the leaders will be holding a secret meeting at Hiiragiya Inn in a couple of days to discuss their next steps, and they want someone from the Satsuma to join in their discussion. After what happened last time, they're afraid that they would be putting their heads into the jaws of the lion again."
"What were they expecting? That the Satsuma would go down with them? It is only human nature to protect one's own territory and look after themselves first."
The Choshu and Satsuma had united all along in an unacknowledged alliance and had planned their insurrection together. It was on the grounds that the Choshu Domain fought on the frontlines in their rebellion, and the Satsuma hid beneath a feigned loyalty to the Shogun while operating in the shadows. It came as no surprise that when their conspiracy had been exposed, the Satsuma were quick to act against the Choshu and pursued them under the pretense of military authority just to protect themselves. Kazama already knew that these mortals were capable of extreme cunning. In the end, they were only loyal to themselves and their desire for personal gains.
Kazama could hardly contain himself anymore. He didn't want to be dictated to by these humans. He would forsake them as soon as the war ended, he reasoned.
"Not all humans are selfish and only out for themselves."
It was a stupid, implausible thing to say coming from a demon, and Shiranui must've known it. Still, his readiness to come to their defense at almost every turn without questioning it never faltered. What a strange man Shiranui Kyo was. At once a cynic and a sentimentalist, an odd blend of traits.
"Keep talking like this and I'll think you've gone soft in the head," commented Kazama. The man answered his crude remark with a little humor when he scoffed and bared his teeth in a wicked grin. "Speaking of the mortals, were you able to retrieve that man's head and reclaim the demon slaying sword?"
"You mean Hijikata Toshizou? No, that lucky bastard got away."
"Not only have you gone soft, but you've become weak as well?" Kazama shot him a questioning look.
What had he been doing letting a mere human escape? Certainly not his job. Certainly not gaining control of the situation. For a ludicrous moment, Kazama had wanted to find out just what it was about that Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander that got to him. He couldn't even put his finger on why he didn't like the man and his attitude. He seemed perfectly ordinary for a mortal, and weren't they all full of their own importance, anyway?
"You think I actually wanted to get dragged into this bottomless shit pile? If it wasn't for the debt that I owed Einosuke, I would have stayed out of this whole revenge business. I never liked those siblings, either." Shiranui's sense of amusement was gone; a frown gathered on his forehead. "Besides, I know he called in this favor because if his plan goes down in flames, then I'm expendable and he wouldn't have to worry about losing any of his clan members."
"I suppose that's logical from a strictly preservation perspective." Even Kazama couldn't deny that it was an underhanded, yet strategic move.
"Sometimes demons are worse than humans. Some are even more violent and cruel to our own kind." There was a touch of bitterness in Shiranui's voice.
Kazama said nothing for a while. The thought that demons were worse than humans was a disturbing one, to say the least. So the best way to not feel uneasy about it was to avoid the subject altogether.
"That still doesn't excuse your inability to take on a human and allow him to escape," he said, calling attention back to a more interesting topic instead.
"Hey! We weren't expecting that annoying nuisance of an ice princess to be there to complicate things further!"
"Ice princess?" Kazama felt a hitch in his chest. Right away the title brought a flood of recollections and mixed responses.
In that instant, the door to his room suddenly swung open, and in charged Senhime. He almost didn't believe his eyes when he saw that Shinohara Asuna followed her, trailing behind as they made their way across the room.
He had been thinking about her ever since that night at the Shinsengumi's headquarters and wanted to see her. Now standing before him was no longer just the embodiment of his thoughts. She was really here, in person. This was indeed an interesting turn of events. Especially when she had been quite vehement in her desire to never see him again. As if he would ever allow her to act in oppression to his wishes in that respect. But this in turn, intrigued him even more. He was curious to know what she wanted. There was only one way to find out.
"Kazama, we need to talk," Senhime said with thinly disguised impatience.
"Oh! It's you, ice princess!" Even Shiranui sounded a bit bewildered when he saw Asuna and grinned at her.
Pointedly ignoring the other demon, she focused on Kazama. "Where can I find Uchiyama Einosuke?"
He blinked, his amusement faded. Whatever he had been expecting her to say, it wasn't this for sure. And judging from both women's solemn expressions, he realized the seriousness of the situation for them. Just like that, the whole tone of the conversation changed.
"Is that why you're here? To ask me this?" he asked, not realizing until that moment how much he had almost convinced himself otherwise.
She cocked her head, as if not following. "Why else would I be here?"
"My reconnaissance officer tried to track him down, but it's already been confirmed that he left his village of Katsurao several days ago," Senhime added.
Exactly how they knew each other was a mystery to him. He hoped to learn the answer to that question from Senhime eventually. Because he was more than confident that Asuna wasn't going to volunteer the information. It would probably be a story entertaining enough to offset his boredom.
"What makes you think I would know his whereabouts or care to know?" Kazama asked, deliberately challenging them to the edge. It was more a taunt than a question.
Asuna refused to rise to the bait and said nothing, while Senhime was being careful with her answer. "I know you have a personal connection with him so you must know where he is."
"Why are you looking for him, anyway?"
"It's becau-"
Asuna cut her off and finished the sentence for her. "It's because I'm the one who killed his sister. Is that enough reason for you?"
He threw Shiranui a curious glance over his shoulder as if to validate the confession. At some point, the demon had already sat down at the corner of the room and his hands locked behind his head as he listened to their conversation dispassionately.
Leaning back against the wall, he answered Kazama's glance with an unruffled expression and a vague shrug of his shoulders. "Annoying nuisance just like I told you."
"Why did you kill Uchiyama Mitsuru?" Although the question was raised, he had no expectation of receiving a response from her.
And yet, she took him by surprise again when her answer came without a thread of hesitation. "Because she was trying to kill me."
The words sounded right. It sounded like something a demon would say. But Kazama sensed there was something more to the details of her situation than what she was telling him. He was determined to uncover what she had left out.
"Ah! Now that does seem like the practical thing to do," Shiranui interjected brusquely, earning himself a cutting glare from both Kazama and Senhime. "What? It makes sense."
"Do you know where he is or not?" Asuna asked icily, returning to the subject like a moth drawn toward a naked flame.
Kazama considered what he knew of Uchiyama Einosuke, though it didn't take long before he wanted to know what was in it for himself. Why should he care?
He didn't care about wealth or anything political; not even his power, his influences nor keeping his high-ranking status within the demon hierarchy. He never tried to connect with those he found no interest in. He only cared about his clan and securing a measure of peace for the demons under his protection. He cared because they were his responsibility, as Shinohara Asuna was not.
But she can become yours to protect, a voice in his head reminded him.
After all, wasn't this what he wanted? Wasn't this what he'd always wanted? And now was his chance to claim her.
"Perhaps. But what do I get in return if I help you? I don't reckon you've got much I would want." He paused and watched her closely, calculating the nuances of her expression; measuring her reaction. "Except only one thing."
His suggestion didn't go unnoticed by her, though she showed no signs of weakness. Not even the slightest indication of unease due to self-consciousness.
There was something most intriguing about the way she met his gaze directly, even boldly. He'd met quite a few dauntless women before, but none of them came close to matching her boldness. Did he expect her to beg him for help? No. Certainly not from a demoness who seemed to know her own mind. Instead, she had asked in a forthright manner, as befitted a princess and the daughter of Shinohara Taiyō.
To her credit, even when she was faced with a choice that wasn't much of one, she still seemed imperturbable. Even if it would ultimately determine her destiny. Shinohara Asuna was definitely the woman meant to be his mate for life.
"Kazama!" Senhime stepped right between them as if she had the right to. "Asuna-chan already told me about how you tried to force her to be your mate! I will not allow that to happen, not under my watch."
"This doesn't concern you, Senhime."
It was a warning that she really ought to stay out of his business until she learned how to take care of her own. Her compulsive need to be the center of anything that happened would catch up with her someday.
"You're wrong. This matter is very much my concern because I owe her my life."
"Then it's you who owes her a debt. I owe her nothing. So why should I help her?"
"That's fine, I'm sure you're not the only person who knows Einosuke's whereabouts." Asuna's glance shifted to Shiranui, who sat up straight and became wide awake in an instant.
"Don't give me that look, woman." In a heartbeat, his face changed from surprised to aggrieved to offended. "I might not like the Uchiyama siblings, but I'm not a traitor."
Kazama frowned. He didn't like the way she looked at the other demon as if he was someone worth speaking to. It made him want to flex for her, and just give her the information on his own.
Shinohara Asuna belonged to him. He would never allow another man to recognize her worth and try to steal her away from him. All of a sudden, his internal thoughts caught up to him and he had to suppress the wild beating of his heart. This obviously wasn't enough, and he knew he had to do something.
"I will help you on one condition." Kazama drew her attention back to him.
Part of the reason he changed his mind was because he didn't want Shiranui to be fascinated by her. Another was because he didn't want anyone to capture and hold her attention, except him. Given his possessive nature, he already knew it could turn out be a problem. A big one.
Not to mention he found this particular request, from the illustrious Shinohara Asuna of the aquamarine eyes and sharp tongue, difficult to say no to.
"What do you want?" She demanded; not irritated, but clearly not impressed either.
"Instead of telling you Einosuke's whereabouts, I will personally lead you to him."
"What are you scheming again, Kazama?!" Senhime bit out. Suspicion was not evident in her face, but it was there.
Asuna studied him briefly, as if unsure of his motives and gauging his sincerity. She was most likely trying to figure him out, just like he was doing with her. But he would get through her defenses.
"We will leave by the first light of dawn tomorrow and I'll be waiting by the inn's entrance."
With that she spun on her heel and left the room without even a glance to make sure Senhime was following, the delicate scent of something soft and floral lingering in the air. He watched her retreating back until it was almost out of sight, and eventually turned his focus to the other demoness still standing before him.
"Don't even try anything funny with Asuna-chan, or else I won't forgive you," she warned before making her own departure.
Shiranui came to stand beside him as soon as the women were gone. "Hey, are you really going to take her to Einosuke? They will kill her."
"Are you worried about her?"
"Who said I was worried?" He arched his eyebrows haughtily, but Kazama didn't believe him. He could read the man's face like a book. After collaborating with him for quite some time now, he could see through his inner thoughts even easier.
Kazama wasn't concerned for her safety. As a matter of fact, he was going to make a clear statement to those who wished to bring her harm. No one was going to touch what was his. And he didn't care how much Asuna objected, she would be his.
X X X
The next morning came fairly quickly, but much time was lost in waiting for Kazama to make his appearance. Asuna had no concrete idea of how much time had passed, she only knew she'd been waiting since the tip of the sun had begun to rise on the horizon.
What if he had changed his mind at the last moment? In hindsight, she should have seen it coming. In the world of demons, they never made promises they didn't have to keep, they never owed one another without expecting to repay the debt, and they never accepted help from outside one's own clan without knowing what the cost would be. And there was always a cost.
Kazama had made it very clear that he wanted her as his mate. That would have been her cross to bear, her price to pay. Except she didn't accept his silent propositions last night, and she never would. But something had prompted him to change his decision to help her. The agreement was simple and straightforward; she would know Einosuke's whereabouts as long as he could come along with her. Asuna wondered what the drawback could possibly be, but she didn't question it and agreed to the terms. She didn't care. Her confidence wasn't due to his position as the head of the Kazama Clan, but on that of two demons who would honor their words.
Maybe she had placed too much faith in him given the circumstances, but what other choice did she have? Not when Hijikata's safety was in question. Asuna pushed those thoughts from her mind, not wanting to think about the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander right now. She wasn't sure if she could think about him again without being reminded of his parting words. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to focus.
If Kazama didn't come, she would just move on and find other means to locate Einosuke. Though of course, Shiranui would have probably left Kyoto altogether by now, especially if he thought she would come after him for the information. While she reassessed the situation and glanced over at the inn again to look for Kazama, he finally walked out from the doorway. Slowly closing the distance between them, he came to stand in front of her.
"You're late."
"I'm here now, aren't I?" He countered, showing no intention to apologize or excuse himself.
She eyed him for a moment, sensing the change in his attitude and couldn't fully comprehend it. "Did we not agree to meet here at the first light of dawn?"
As the space between them minimized, Kazama kept his gaze locked on hers. The closer he got, the more Asuna had to tip her head back to hold his cold red stare that smoldered like burning coals. She had always been aware that his eyes never changed color no matter which form he was in, human or demon, though his demon side appeared to be the dominant force. The power inside of her recognized the wild demonic energy in his body.
"If you recall, I never agreed to your arrangement. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm doing you a favor. So if I choose to be late, then you wait. Don't forget that." His voice was sharp with a defiant aggressiveness that demanded her complete attention.
Asuna felt the implication, even through her growing irritation. The message was clear: He had agreed to help her, but it was to be entirely on his terms. Every word he spoke was either a veiled insult or threat. Under normal circumstances she would have never allowed herself to be subjected to such treatment. But her life was far from normal these days. After all, she was the one who had provided him with the perfect opportunity when she'd decided to solicit his help. She would let him have his way for now to a reasonable extent until she got what she wanted.
"Lost for words?" Kazama looked quite pleased with himself.
There was a reluctant pause as she reined in her anger. "Where is our destination?"
He observed her, his eyes assessing her. Then he moved past her into the passage towards the street. "Follow me, I will lead the way."
Asuna glanced towards the east and realized the sun was high in the sky now. She started walking behind him, deliberately slowing her pace and letting the distance between them grow as she didn't want to walk beside him. Occasionally townspeople in the street jostled them and blocked her view of him. But she made sure he was never out of her sight for long. Kazama kept looking back at her over his shoulder, his displeasure evident.
Suddenly he came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the street and turned around to face her. "Why are you following me like a lost cat?"
Her mind reeled with confusion. What was it now? Was he attempting to provoke and antagonize her at every turn? Taking a much needed deep breath to think rationally and logically, Asuna forced her voice into absolute calmness. "You told me to follow you."
He approached her again with unhurried steps. His manner was casual, but his regard was full of intent. He came closer, until they were standing mere inches apart from one another. So close that she could feel his breath skimming along her face when he spoke again.
"Why are you keeping a distance from me? I'm not going to take a bite out of you. Yet." His voice became deeper. The rich timbre of it clashed through her nerves, awakening a latent anger which rebelled even as she chose not to react to it.
Nothing but the coldest practicality would serve to keep this male demon at a distance. He wanted her to understand that he was used to getting what he wanted. Unfortunately for him, no one was going to tell her what she could and could not do. One way or another, he would soon learn to keep his autocratic commands to himself. She would make sure of that.
She raised her chin at him. "Are we going to have a problem between us? Just tell me now if you've changed your mind, because I don't have time to waste on you."
For a moment, Kazama continued to fix her with his remorseless gaze. Then without warning, his mood seemed to have shifted quickly. A small, dangerous smirk slowly curved his lips, sending a chill shivering down her spine in warning. It was a smirk that promised repercussions later. Remaining speechless, he turned and walked away in the same direction they were heading, leaving her to wonder about his quiet threat.
If his purpose was to intimidate her, he was failing. Despite his forceful nature, she did not feel the least bit threatened. Because he seemed to have forgotten that she, too, was a demon capable of performing deeds that the world would shudder at.
X X X
"Why just one horse?" Asuna asked as soon as Kazama slid off the horse and gathered the reins in his hand. Her narrowed glance indicated that she saw through his deception right away. Though she was giving him a chance to explain himself fully.
"You can get yourself a horse with your own money. But do you have money of your own?" Although she refused to answer, the question seemed to hit his mark and make her mad, so he added, "I thought so."
Asuna was firmly planted on the ground with her back straight and her head held high. She was looking at him as if she would like to cut out his heart and watch him die at her feet. The thought almost made him smile. He felt a grim satisfaction in getting a response from the aloof ice princess.
Kazama wasn't a fool. He already realized that she wasn't the type of demoness who would be won over by brute force and the strength of his desire. She was too intellectual for that. She couldn't be rushed. He had seen it in her determined, willful nature. It flared in her blue-green eyes whenever her anger was aroused. Push the issue, and she would strike back.
But he also wasn't the type of man to exercise restraint. He did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. There was no point to rely on false flattery, phony modesty and aggressively fake charm to get what his heart was set upon. He wanted Asuna to see him as he really was. And he wanted her to like what she saw. There would be no deception, no disappointment.
In a futile attempt to throw him off the scent, she made her next words completely toneless. "If this is your way of teaching me a lesson then you will be disappointed. I don't take discipline as well as I give it."
"Careful princess. That sounds like a challenge." He pointed out as he kept his voice deliberately low. Shinohara Asuna was a challenge and he'd never been able to resist a challenge. He moved closer to her and leaned in, pinning her with his eyes. "Is it a challenge?"
Her chest heaved and some of her confusion billowed out. "Why are you trying to rile me up intentionally?"
"Maybe because I want to see that fire in your eyes and hear the sharpness in your words."
That and the elusive, strangely pleasant feeling he had whenever embers inside her blaze into full flame. Kazama was accustomed to being catered to and flattered at every opportunity, so he found himself appreciating her defiance and blunt attitude. Even if it meant her refusal to play by the rules that he himself had set down as law. Now if only he could stoke the fire within her in the way he wished.
Asuna merely stared at him and held herself back as if she wouldn't give him the satisfaction he desired. He was genuinely amazed that a demoness like her had let him get this far. Not wanting to push too hard, he decided to leave her alone for the time being. Surely, there would be other opportunities. With that decision, he turned and mounted the horse again. He looked down and noticed she hadn't moved at all.
"You must have a lot of time at your disposal now if you're just going to stand there looking at me like a statue." Kazama held his hand out to help her get on the horse.
She ignored his hand and swung up behind him gracefully and unaided. Of course she had managed to get on the horse without his help. He hadn't expected anything less from her.
"Do I have to teach you the basic rules of horseback riding?" He mocked before she could speak. "Lean forward and hold onto me."
Asuna begrudgingly complied. A frown marred his face when she grabbed onto the sides of his kimono, fisting the material in her hands to anchor her body. With a stifled sigh, he took her hands by the wrists and placed them around his waist. She responded immediately, trying to jerk herself free from his grasp unsuccessfully.
"Is this necessary?"
Kazama didn't miss the underlying bite to her tone, which did absolutely nothing to deter him.
"It is if you don't want to fall off the horse. You won't die, of course, but it will still hurt." His tone betrayed none of his amusement.
Or the way his body clenched when her breasts pressed against his back and her soft breath brushing his neck. The feel of her sent a ripple of excitement through him. In the end, Asuna was right where he wanted her to be. It didn't take her long to make an obvious effort to put up a front, but she wasn't unaffected by their physical closeness. He could feel her stiffen, which gave him the cue to pull her even closer to him as they rode off at a gallop.
Now that he had finally made a small dent in the defensive armor which she'd wrapped around herself, he wanted to explore every facet of her being. And just the thought of him being thoroughly entertained by this demoness in their upcoming days together made him smile this time. Something that he did seldom in his life.
X X X
Hijikata summoned Saito, Souji and Yamazaki to gather in his private quarters for a quick meeting. Never one to waste time or words, Saito went straight to the point. "More of Itou-san's followers have arrived and settled down. We will distribute them amongst the divisions once you finalize your decision."
This was one thing Hijikata was unhappy about. The samurais may have joined in the name of the Shinsengumi, but they were still Itou's supporters in the end. Kondou could criticize him for being overly suspicious all he wanted, but Hijikata knew better. He felt the men, with their lack of loyalty, would be prone to understate their screw-ups and overstate their accomplishments. They needed to be watched. He would have to see this whole thing through up close and personal. After all, the Shinsengumi had its name and reputation to protect. There was just too much riding on it.
"You all know your duties. Make sure we provide proper training to our new recruits so they'll be familiar with our code of conduct. It's our responsibility to ensure they follow the ethical practices of the Shinsengumi. Tell those guys that if any of them gets involved in unethical conduct or behavior, they will have to face the consequences of their actions and through seppuku."
"Understood."
A quick glance was exchanged between Saito and Yamazaki, and when Yamazaki spoke, Hijikata knew he was speaking for both of them. "Our headquarters is growing more and more crowded with new members, making it hard for everyone to adjust to the living conditions."
"We will hold a meeting and discuss the possibility of relocating after Sannan-san and the others return from their assignment," he assured them.
"We received a letter from Sannan-san yesterday stating they should return in few days. He will give us a full update on the Rasetsu situation once he gets back," Saito informed the group.
Sitting in his usual carefree manner with his elbow resting on his knee, Souji asked, "By the way, I haven't seen Itou-san these days. Any idea what happened to him?"
"He's sustained an injury and is limited to bed rest. He will be able to return to his duties soon enough." It was a stretch of the truth, not a lie.
No one had been told about the incident, as informing more people would just get them needlessly involved. It was yet to be determined whether Itou was friend or foe, and after what had happened it was difficult to tell if the Rasetsu would harbor any ill will towards him. Right now a probation period involving silent observation was the best course of action. Meanwhile Hijikata would keep the potential enemy close in order to keep him off balance. As long as he controlled his emotions, it would be nearly impossible for Itou to discern his true motives and tactics.
Souji couldn't resist. He was not at all discreet in his opinions. "Well, none of us miss him, anyway. He's a nasty piece of work."
"Stop stirring trouble on purpose."
"I wasn't the one stirring. Besides, I'm just voicing your thoughts."
Hijikata threw him a sharp look. "And you need to shut your mouth before I shut it for you."
His Captain sat back and promptly shut his mouth. Though he did crack a small smirk at the remark, affirming to him that they both knew each other too well.
There was a short pause before Yamazaki brought their focus back on track. "Hijikata-san, we also have a reported ronin problem escalating in the city again. A new group of ronin are not only robbing travelers and terrorizing the citizens, but apparently they're also kidnapping young girls and sending them abroad to be sold as slaves."
"I've seen what those men are capable of doing. They should be tortured and mutilated for their heinous acts." Although Souji's expression didn't change, his voice took on a baleful tone.
Hijikata's jaw tightened as he strained to keep his demeanor calm. None of this was good news. His sympathy for the girls who'd been made into slaves warred with his slow-burning anger towards those who used others so heartlessly.
"Those bastards will die for their crimes. I'm going to make sure of that when we catch them." He looked back and forth between the men in the room with a resolute look that bode ill for the criminals who would be punished, and then he continued, "Anyways, it looks like we'll be kept busy for quite some time with all these tasks, so make sure you get sufficient rest during your time off. If there's nothing else to report then you guys can return to your posts."
After they took their leave, Hijikata sat alone in his own quarters for several minutes, taking time to gather his wits before he returned to his paperwork. His hand picked up the narrow writing brush from the inkstone and began writing on the paper with precise strokes. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't notice Chizuru approach the open door with a tray in her hands.
"Hijikata-san, I brought you tea and onigiri since you missed lunch."
"You can leave it on the table," he told her without glancing up.
He felt her swift, critical stare when she crossed the room to set the tray down as instructed. "You should take a break and eat first. You're overburdening yourself with responsibilities these days. Your wound is still healing so you shouldn't push yourself too hard."
"You really should learn to keep your nose out of other people's business, kid."
Chizuru appeared unconcerned by his obvious displeasure. Not too long ago she would have sunk away at his harsh mannerisms, but she had really grown over the course of a few months. The more she spoke, the more she seemed to be capable of speaking her mind and fending for herself.
"I also cleared out Shinohara-san's quarters. She kept the room in an orderly state so there's not much to clean. It's ready to be used now."
"Thanks."
"Please remember to eat, Hijikata-san." She bowed and dismissed herself upon noticing that she was being completely ignored now.
Setting his brush down, Hijikata looked at his bandaged hand as he reminisced on the origins of the wound. He could still remember what it looked like when it was fresh. When he unwrapped it, he saw the wound was already mending itself. The fang marks Asuna had left behind on his skin were still plainly visible, but they too were also closed. Chizuru had offered him ointments for bruises and minor wounds, but he'd declined it. He wanted to carry her marks on him. Although Asuna may not have remembered inflicting these wounds, it was the only thing that bound her to him; to imprint herself on him in such a way that his memories of her would never fade.
He clenched and unclenched his fist as his face relaxed into pensiveness. Finally taking his eyes off of his hand, he looked out through his chamber door at the white clouds as they slowly passed by. The weather was a lot warmer today. The warmth was luxurious after the cold rain of the day before. A spent sigh escaped him as he settled down. Maybe Chizuru was right; he should take a short break to stretch and take a stroll around the grounds instead.
The moment Hijikata stepped outside, he felt the sultriness in the air. Surprisingly it rejuvenated him and gave him much needed new energy. To keep his mind off Asuna, he had become devoted to his work and taking on additional tasks that demanded his attention. Only then was he able to relax and prevent himself from desiring what he couldn't have. It had been effective until he'd realized it was only a temporary distraction.
He continued to walk down the corridors and made one turn after another absentmindedly, paying little attention to where he was going. Before he knew it, he was in front of Asuna's quarters staring at the cat by the doorstep. He watched as Yoshiro scratched at the door, longing to enter the empty room. With a slight pull, Hijikata slid the door open and stepped inside. The room was all tidied and newly swept, appearing every bit the unused room that it was. With not so much as a table or a candle out of place; the futon was folded, and the windows were dusted. He inhaled deeply, but even her feminine scent had disappeared. There was no trace of Asuna anywhere in here.
Yoshiro arched his back, then turned in a circle several times before he laid down at the corner of the tatami mat. Hijikata crouched down and gently rubbed his stomach; the cat's purr reverberated throughout his body.
"You're missing her too," he said to Yoshiro as he stroked his fur. The cat looked back blankly and meowed.
After Asuna had left, thoughts of her began to crowd Hijikata's mind most of the day and long into the night. In the quiet hours of the night, he found himself fantasizing about their coming together, imagining the love and passion that might have been if he hadn't let her go. He was no stranger to the occasional dalliance or romance, but never before had he been as obsessed with a woman as he was with her. He'd always thought it was impossible for a man like him to fall in love. Yet these persistent emotions that filled his veins with heat seemed to prove otherwise. Was what he felt for her…love?
Leaving the cat to be, Hijikata walked out of the room and stood in the hallway. He leaned against a left column in front of the doorway with his arms crossed, and looked out at the cherry blossom tree for a moment. The branches were becoming bare, and most of the petals had withered and fallen to the ground. Although the tree eventually would be defoliated, the roots would endure. When next spring came life would flourish once again and send forth emerging buds, and the cycle of life would continue to go on just like this. Ever growing, ever changing and never slowing down.
"You missed the briefing earlier," he said to Sanosuke, who had turned the corner and came to stand beside him.
"Yeah, I was helping out in the infirmary."
"Talk to Saito, he will fill you in on what you missed."
"Sure."
The men stood in silence briefly, their eyes fixed on the lone tree in the garden until Sanosuke spoke again. "Shinohara-kun may have been quiet and reserved, but we all can feel her absence now that she's gone. I think we've gotten used to having her around."
"People will come and go in our lives. It's not so bad when you get used to it."
It was an accepted fact that throughout his lifetime, circumstances would change and so would the people around him. They would grow and change too. Sometimes that also meant they may not always be moving in the same direction as him. And because Hijikata understood it better than anyone, he knew he would get used to this even though the thought of not having Asuna with him was unbearable. Besides, it wasn't like he had a choice at this point. But just like the cherry blossom, his life would still continue as it always had.
Sanosuke raised his brows. "It's funny because the words that come out of your mouth don't seem to match the look you have on your face. I don't know if you've noticed, but your scowl is keeping people away these days."
The man was too good at getting others to spill their guts with simple, sly hints that he knew everything anyway. He could get anyone to talk to him about anything. Hijikata blamed it on him being a clever ass.
"Why don't you worry about yourself first. Judging from your expression, I assume Yukimura is still avoiding you."
"Every time I tried to get together with her to talk, she comes up with some excuse. But I will take care of it." A faint smile replaced his frown. "Although I must say, she's very good at avoiding me when she wants to."
"Then you better act quick before you miss your chance with her. Otherwise, you may come to regret it if you just sit on your ass for too long and do nothing."
The glint returned to his eyes and his mouth lifted in one of those smug grins. "Are you speaking from your own experience?"
Hijikata's gut tightened at the comment and he snapped. "I'm your Vice-Commander, show some respect. And wipe that stupid grin off your face."
He was having way too much fun at Hijikata's expense. His chuckle implied as much. "Seriously though, once all the urgent matters are taken care of then maybe you should consider taking some time off. You know, go somewhere and see someone."
"You must not be busy enough if you're still standing here and giving me unwanted advice. Maybe you should also watch over both of Shinpachi and Heisuke's divisions until they return."
"That's cold, Hijikata-san," he chaffed, quick to recover himself. "Well, I believe you want to be left alone to think over your situation. Or should I say to pick up where you left off?"
"Keep talking and you'll talk yourself right into a hole you can't dig yourself out of."
The threat was dismissed with a pat on his shoulder. "Just think about it, Vice-Commander. She obviously gets to you, and women who get to you that deep don't come more than once in your lifetime."
With that being said, he watched Sanosuke walk away while his mind ruminated on their exchange. Did he want to go and try to get Asuna to talk to him? She had wanted to leave and he'd been powerless to stop her. He could've fought harder to keep her, but he didn't want to force her to stay. He wanted to be able to let her go. So why would anything change now?
"Village of Yase, huh?" Hijikata muttered to himself under his breath.
There was no denying that a part of him still wanted to go find her and tell her to come back with him. To tell her that she couldn't just come into his life and make him suddenly want things he didn't think he would ever want, and just to shut him out and leave. He really should've let her walked away the first night they'd met, before she'd gotten under his skin like she had. Especially back then when he was sure he didn't like her and wanted as little to do with her as possible. But it would have been futile even then, he supposed, because she had already crept so unexpectedly into his life and his heart before he even knew it.
What would Asuna say if she could hear his thoughts right now?
Suddenly he knew the answer to the question. Yes, he would go and find her. He would find a way to show her that he could be trusted; that a life beside him would be worth it. As he made the promise, a reluctant smile tugged at his lips while his jaw-clenching frustration retreated under a wave of resolution. If he had known it would be this painfully dreary, he would have said to hell with self-control and gone after her that day. That, Hijikata thought as he turned to gaze at the cherry blossom tree again, was one mistake he wouldn't be repeating.
X X X
AUTHOR NOTE:
Yes, Kazama is back in the picture and things are getting more interesting *evil grins*! You honestly can't blame me, Hijikata and Kazama are my two favorite characters, and so if I'm going to write a Hakuouki story then I must have my fill of them both lol! But thanks for letting me off the hook so easily for separating Hijikata and Asuna, haha! I promise it will be really good when they reunite again! Okay, maybe not 'epic' good, but I'm sure it will still be…good *smile sheepishly* you can be the judge when it happens. Lastly, hope you guys will have a great weekend! I know I will since I get to watch Godzilla vs. Kong this weekend, teehee! See you next time!