there are three fanfic reference to my fanfic prisoners exchange and Ray Gillette, Relationship Counselor and Dr Krieger's Amazing Feel Good Frozen Die Eiscreme by Red Witch. And yes... as you can probably guess these chapter are not in chronological order of this season so please bare with me.
Ray whistled abit as he enter his LA apartment "Today a good day, i mean aside from that Mrs. Archer scare and seeing that dick Slater again, i get to avoid Krieger stupid show and enjoy a bath time without having to listen to everyone bitching and moaning."
a short while later Ray is preparing his bath he briefly worried that Archer, Lana or Krieger would called again 'Then again they might not, they seem to have bonded after they save Slater... plus Krieger will be busy playing with the others... maybe it won't hapen this time.' Ray mentally reassured himself.
But just as he was getting in, his cellphone rang. "Every time, they call me everytime in the bath tub." Ray muttered as he picked it up "What!?"
"Well hello to you to." Archer said
"What stupid thing do you do this time?" Ray sighed
"What makes you think I did it?" Archer said
"Look we can both play the whole flash back scene, but I rather cut to the grit already."
"Fine... so first off I admitted to Lana I miss part of torture resistance training."
"You did- which one?" Ray questioned
"Waterboarding." Archer said
"Ohh..." Ray winced already guessing what going to happen. "She force you didn't she."
"Yes... and whoever said that guy has a vagina if there afraid of waterboarding are idiot." Archer said
"You said it didn't you?" Ray deadpanned
"That besides the point." Archer said "And I kinda admitted the thing we talked about when you acted all conseloring."
"Wha- you told her your complicated feeling for Veronica Deane!?" Ray asked shocked
"I was waterboarded!" Archer snapped
"Goddamn... was she mad?" Ray asked
"What do you think!? and so... middle middle middle, were back where we started."
"... what you mean were unblack listed or you guys are broken up."
"She said we are on break. So i'm assuming... yes to the latter. Also Slater conned us cause he admitted to not paying us even if the mission went well anyway."
"Wait what? what you mean by went-"
"Look I have to go, I'm hiding for a few day till the heat dies down cause I just know Lana told Mother about the waterboarding thing."
"And how do you know if she didn't, i would after you admitted it?" Ray questioned
"Cause I know you missed one part of torture training as well." Archer said "Anywho have to go." the phone clicked
"... touch'e." Ray muttered. he was about to put his cellphone away but the phone ranged again. "Like clockwork."Ray muttered as he answered it "Yes?"
"Can you believe that sonuvabitch!" Lana snapped
"Let me guess Archer?"'
"No but he a VERY close second. That bitch Slater, refuse to pay us after we helped him, even admitting he wouldn't do so in the first place!"
"The man from the CIA who hates our guts lied to us? what a shocker." Ray said deadpanned
"I mean the MK Ultra guy died even though Slater wanted him alive but other than that it was a salvageable mission by our standards, but no he decided to let petty hatred rule his decision." Lana growled. "And don't get me started on Archer and his stupid obsession with Veronica Deane."
"Finally admitted did he?" Ray questioned
"With a little prompting." Lana admitted, with a shifty tone of voice
"Uh-huh." Ray said, already knowing it was more than a little prompting but avoiding it. "So what now? you guys on break?"
"Oh yeah, and i'm going to make Archer pay for his little crush, he's vying for Dean, i'll hit on her hot ex-husband." Lana snapped
"Only going to make the situation worse." Ray said snidely.
"Nono I have it all planned out. all I need is to wait." Lana hanged up her phone.
Ray waited a few minutes but then heard the phone ranged up. "Hello Krieger?"
"Are you hiding him?" Mallory growled
"Mrs. Archer!" Ray said surprised, that one he was not expecting "Your awake?"
"Yes i'm awake, don't act that surprise, it's only 8 pm. secondly where is that idiot son of mine?" Mallory growled "Lana told me he skipped on waterboarding!"
"... Lana told you?" Ray questioned slowly
"Yes?"
"... and she didn't mention anything... odd about your situation?" Ray asked
"Me being in my own house watching mad man with my husband? How is that odd?"
"What!" Ray said
"Okay, you've obviously taken some of Cheryl 'candies' and since the other idiots are avoiding there phones... looks like i'm doing it the old fashion way." Mallory muttered as she hunged up
"... I don't know how Krieger did that, but i'm honestly now more than curious as to how he mind controlled her and made Lana not noticed." Ray said dialing Krieger numbers
"Yessss?" Krieger whimsically said
"Krieger, you know how people weirdly call me in the bathtub and bitch about stuff... wait are you in a bathtub?"
"Nope trying to find my virtual wife, i swore I have memories of seeing her in LA yet can't remember if I brought her... think i ate too many of my own amnesia ice cream." Krieger muttered
"Listen did you send Archer mother home after making that video?" Ray questioned
"... Why" Krieger questioned suspiciously.
"Cause Mrs. Archer called asking me where her idiot son is." Ray said
"ruined another CIA mission huh." Krieger said "I know his mission success ratio has been shot more than usual when the cia picked us up but right at the bat, yikes."
"Yeah but I can't exactly cried about it since the MK ultra guys deserve to get killed." Ray said "But that besides the point, how were you able to plop her back home, without Ray or Lana noticing she brainwash." Ray said
"I just told her to act like her usual cankerous self before dropping her off at Ron, that way she won't be the wiser about what we did and come kill us with kitchen knifes." Krieger said in a way that makes it sound rehearse "And that the story i'm sticking with."
"Alright..." Ray said, not quite believing it, but not going to question it so he can claim deniability. "Anywho, she's on the warpath looking for her idiot son. I don't know how long that zombie drug last but i suggest answering it on the first ring."
"Oh I ain't worried about that, I'll just hide in the se...side. Yes the seaside, and not a hidden bunker with ro- mance novels." Krieger said shiftily. "Anyway, gotta go, bye!" Krieger hanged up.
"... Why do I have a immense feeling of doom that going to hit us soon and in a dramatic matter... oh well I just hope it not me getting hurt physically this time." Ray muttered.