"I'll just say it, Lana had a crush on mother and is now dating a female version of her." Archer said as they took the plane home.
"THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT!" Cheryl said
"I mean, they have the same manipulative yet caring vibe that just makes you want to throttle them but are honestly scare cause you know if they did-" Archer began.
"They will LITERALLY ruin your life yeah I hear ya." Ray nodded
"He also smart enough to wear bulletproof shoes. Why the hell didn't I think of that." Archer growled
"Yeah that weird considering how many times you were shot there. In arguments, when you were being a dick," Cheryl listed
"Alright I get your point." Archer muttered
that one time with the fly-" Cheryl listed
"I GET IT!" Archer snapped.
"So, how did you enjoy meeting your daughter again." Pam said
"It was nice. She said she thought I was the male equivalent of sleeping beauty which was cute. Then she revealed Lana called me a sperm donor machine." Archer frowned
"HAHAHAHA!" Cheryl laughed till Pam punched her unconscious.
"Well I personally enjoyed this secret due solely to the fact I kicked that cheating jackass who cost me a gold medal in the olympics!" Ray said happily.
"Yeah I find it weird peregrine went to elaborate lengths to get revenge on us." Pam said "Ray rival, the kidnapping."
"Well she had a joker vibe in the end. Then Lana shot her, repeatedly, then use my gun to kill her, repeatedly." Archer shrugged.
"That why you target the mother bear first. Attacking her cubs will just enrage her and get your cousin scarred so bad he could audition as Two-faced even more deformed cousin." Ray said
"That was oddly specific." Pam muttered
"I don't want to talk about it." Ray frowned.
"Hey speaking of moms with terrible anger... Where mother?" Archer said as everyone looked around.
(Linebreak)
"Hmm charging me double eh?" Robert asked taking a sip of brandy while he, Mallory, Krieger and Cyril were sitting across one another. on the other side of the plane.
"Well you did kidnap my people." Mallory stated
"To save your grand-daughter." Robert countered.
"And your step-daughter. You could easily have just asked." Mallory countered back.
"I consider that, but Lana told me that Pam is a blabbermouth." Robert stated calmly
"Touch'e." Mallory said as she took a drink.
"Am I the only one concerned you two are taking this too well?" Cyril said
"My dear boy, do you know how many rich people get kidnap and/or targeted. In our lifestyle it be weirder NOT to talk about expenses for not getting kidnap and/or killed." Robert said
"Exactly." Mallory nodded "I remember one time I was targeted by assassins while i was in a three way, shot two in the heart with one bullet."
"Did you have to specify you were doing it in a three way." Cyril, said slightly disgusted at the mental image.
"Its a fair description. Alot of rich people killed off while having sex." Robert said with a shrug.
"Well... your not wrong." Cyril muttered, remembering the prime minister of italy incident.
"This is oddly the best negotiation ever." Krieger whisper to Cyril who sighed annoyed.
(Linebreak)
"OMG that punch made me remember an incident with my great uncle Lucius Tunt." Cheryl said
"Dare I ask what it is?" Ray asked
"I don't think we have a chance in a matter." Archer sighed
"So his favorite horse got kidnapped and the kidnapper threaten to go all godfather on it if he didn't pay the ransom." Cheryl said
"Let me guess he paid?"
"Oh hell no, he didn't pay a dime, just got a new horse." Cheryl said
"What?" Pam asked
"Yep, and when the kidnapper mailing the horses body, He just had a BBQ." Cheryl said
"Uggh." Almost everyone said disgusted.
"Was it good?" Pam asked
"Pam!" Ray snapped
"What, it's a honest question!" Pam said defensively.
"I don't know, my dad found the whole experience creepy by even our standards and refuse to let anyone eat it." Cheryl said
"Well that was-"
"It was either that or knowing uncle lucius had sex with that horse was afraid to eat it for hepatitis." Cheryl muttered
"... SERIOUSLY, why do you keep giving us these horrific imagery of your family history!" Archer snapped.
"Hey, I'm just saying compare to that grimdark incident our is extremely lighthearted... and far less creepy romance wise." Cheryl said
"What was less creepy." Lana said exiting the bathroom.
"Don't ask." Archer moaned
"Seriously don't." Ray added "The mental imagery alone will scar you,"
"Okay..." Lana muttered as she sat down. "Listen, I know I can be... harsh. But thank you all for helping me save my daughter. Even though you kept it a secret at first. All the same thank you."
"She my daughter too, Of course I would help." Archer said
"I'm still Aunt Pam, quite frankly Peregrine was lucky that it was you that offed her and not me!" Pam said
"It's true I saw her take enough tranq to take down five charging rhinos." Ray added.
"Hmhm... So how much was Robert paying you guys?" Lana asked, everyone, even Cheryl gave her the stink eye. "KIDDING! I know most of you aren't that shallow."
"Most-" Archer said but stopped as he saw Mallory walked in counting a huge wad of cash as Cyril and Krieger walked into the room with suitcases. "Oh for the love of!"
"WHAT! He kidnap instead of asking!" Mallory said annoyed.
"That low even by your standards!" Cheryl said
"And that her saying that." Pam added.
"Oh shut up." Mallory said as she sat down. "Everyone win in this situation. There no where to go but up!"
Cheryl gasped loudly. "Don't you know that like a massive death flag!"
"Death flag smead flag. I doubt anything bad will happen." Mallory rolled her eyes.
Author note: Is she right? Will the season finale not end in doom. Guess we have to wait and see!