"Hehehe... 'everything can be envisioned as a helipad', but ice went and pulled a cockblock." Cheryl stifled her giggles as the latest big bad died to his insistance on 'Everything a helipad'.
"I... I think I need to call my therapist." Lana muttered as she started to head to the submarine to see if she can use their radio.
"I'm going to need a therapist." Cyril whimpered
"Personally, I'm going to need a drink." Pam admitted
Ray and Mallory: Me too.
"Jinx. You owe me a coke and burbon!" Ray said happily
That snapped Cheryl out of her dark humor mood "There was no coke on the sub! Agggh!"
"Welp!" Archer said, tightening the towel around his body "All's well that ends well."
"Err... Not to be that girl, but you realize you need to go to the hospital for hypothermia? Unless you want the possibility of some of your limbs being severed off?" Sandra asked.
"Your also forgetting the fact since our so called benefactor is dead..." Ray began to say.
Mallory quickly catches on "We're not getting paid! We saved the world for nothing! Way to go Sterling!"
"How is this my fault?" Archer questioned.
"Exactly!" Mallory exclaimed as she began walking away.
"THAT NOT AN ANSWER!" Archer yelled
"YES IT- AGGGHH!" Mallory screamed as she accidentally trips on Baby Baby Lamont and gets a face full of snow.
"Once Again, thank you Baby Lamont. seriously though, since the sub still standing I'm assuming there one of those medbay things? We'll stop there to see if there any stuff for hyperthermia, and also clothes?"
Mallory began to slowly stand up and dusting herself.
"Fine, maybe there something there I can pawn off." Mallory muttered.
"Ohh and we can check to see if they have any stuff to help with tattooing." Cheryl said
Everyone gave her a look.
"Ignore her, she talking out her ass." Mallory quickly explained before whispering to Cheryl "We'll discuss tattoo-ing later."
"C'mon, c'mon." Lana muttered as she try using the radio "The bastard can afford a submarine yet not a good transmitting radio."
"Hey what are you doing?" Cheryl asked.
"Trying to radio someone."
"Cool cool, Archer in the medbay while Krieger and Sandra tries to help him with his hypothermia. Mrs. Archer and Ray are trying to find coke and/or stuff to bond and I think Pam playing with those baby penguin thingie." Cheryl stated.
"Whatever," Lana muttered
"Hey what up with you?" Cheryl asked
"You wanna know," Lana said "I think... Archer right, his presence is not the reason that were acting like jerks. Were just using him as an excuse."
"... You mean that wasn't painfully obvious?" Cheryl asked
"What?"
"Oh c'mon most of you backslide WAY too easily into your vices and whatnot." Cheryl said
"Wha- YOU WENT BACK TO NORMAL ON LIKE, THE SECOND MISSION WITH THE GUY!" Lana said
"New boring Cheryl was always a phase, just like that... I want to say... Ukulele player?" Cheryl questioned
"Country singer!" Lana snapped
"Whatever, point is, that one was never going to stick. Heck it wasn't even the guy one that broke that phase but the mama one." Cheryl said "But you guys. TOTALLY weak-willed." if glares could kill, The one Lana giving Cheryl would be the equivalent of death by cannonball.
"GO! AWAY!" Lana growled
"Make me BIATCH!" Cheryl said, Lana then angrily tackled her.
"Huh." Mallory admitted as she opened a cabinet full of Narwhal tusks. "Didn't peg him as a guy with a harpoon. I mean I know a couple of folks interested in ivory, but do I really want to be known as the 'gal with the narwhal tusk for sale'. Not to mention Lana will be bitching from here to timbuktu if I even think of it... What to do you think?"
"What? I wasn't listening, I just found the coke! He had it under a huge amount of marijuana, it's the high grade stuff too!" Ray answered on the other side of the room.
"Hmm, that I can work with!" Mallory admitted as she shut the cabinet.
"Ummm what are you making?" Sandra questioned, as Archer was strapped down to the bed
"Oh an experiment awhile back that heats up human body should be good enough to save Archer and his limbs from frostbite." Krieger admitted as he pour the stuff into the syringe "That or..."
"Or what?"
"What- no or, forget the or." Krieger
"You were going to say spontaneous combust, weren't you?" Sandra asked
"... Maybe." Krieger said
"WHAT!?" Archer screamed
"Relax you have a... 10 percent chance of survival." Krieger assured him. as he lifted the syringe.
"THOSE ARE HORRIBLE ODDS KRIEGER" Archer screamed as Krieger plunge the syringe into Archer neck and push the plunger. "OW!"
"Right now to unstrap cause it very important you keep moving to burn off the excess heat."
"Good idea, I'll do that by THROTTLING YOU!" Archer growled
"Uh-oh!" Krieger gulped as he began to run away with Archer chasing him.
"Those are some really weird people." Sandra said.
"Cyril, shut up or I'll force feed you one of Krieger's test tube babies" Pam suddenly mumbled. Cyril jumped.
"I thought Krieger got rid of those!? Wait, how'd you know it was me?" Cyril questioned. Pam groaned.
"Dude, I can literally hear you bitching and moaning all over the place." Pam said. Cyril furrowed his eyebrows in mild annoyance.
"I wasn't bitching, I was just venting." Cyril said defensively. "I mean how dare he suggest we keep him around, we didn't want him around! It was his damn mother who was the one who insisted that he return to work and start going on missions again even though WE were all openly unhappy about it. I wanted to strangle that bitch!"
"You could have strike." Pam pointed out. "Worked last time. Heck considering that we are her only employees at the moment, she probably be force into it without getting trapped in a elevator."
"I had no ammo to use to convince her." Cyril said
"Really, not even helping the "Helping Hands" incident? Even if he reached her first, he's also the reason that mission failed. Yet you, who hate Archer the most, refuse to say anything." Pam said
"What that suppose to mean?" Cyril growled
"I think you might want to see a therapist about enjoying being possibly self-destructive." Pam shrugged
"Oh shut up Horn-monster." Cyril sneered
"Whatever." Pam said, turning around as she played with Baby Lamont "You better be careful, You vented once before about Archer pissing you off and you got hit painfully in the crotch."
"Oh please that won't..." Cyril trailed off as both saw Archer (Who looked red like a lobster) chasing Krieger and on top of the sub, trying to shoot him with a dart gun all the while. "On second thought, I might take your advice into consideration."
(Later)
"Okay I call international rescue, they should be arriving in a helicopter by tomorrow." Lana (Sporting a black eye)
"About time!" Mallory said, (whose coat seem quite overstuff) as she shared a coke and Bourbon with Ray.
"Shut up!" Lana growled
"Did you tell them to bring aspirin?" Cheryl asked (Who had visibly choke prints on her neck)
"I too would like to know that." Krieger said (Who had two black eyes and a bloody nose).
"No I didn't tell them to bring aspirin!" Lana snapped "And you, why the hell are you doing Jumping Jacks?"
"I need to burn off excess energy or else I'll self-combust due to Krieger!" Archer snapped back.
"Right whatever, been a long day, let just get some sleep." Lana said. "And hopefully we can mark this day as a bad, bad dream."
(Welp that it for now, hopefully season 12 will be just as good as season 11.)