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Little Toy Bikers and a Woman on the Run
Chapter 36 Hide
Wendy remembered that Gemma pounded on her door yesterday and said she knew she was inside. She'd been ignoring Jax's calls. If he or Gemma wanted to get a hold of her bad enough, she wouldn't put it past them to break a window to get in.
She decided to hide. She didn't want a repeat of yesterday. She moved her car to a visitor's parking area. It wasn't on the route in or out of the trailer park, so Gemma or Jax wouldn't see her car unless they drove through the park looking for it. They would think that no car at the trailer meant no Wendy.
While Wendy was walking back to her mom's trailer, she was rubbing her belly. Each time she touched her stomach, she hoped that she would feel some maternal bond, but she felt nothing except disgust that her skin was so stretched out.
The baby was over by her ribs and it made her uncomfortable. The baby kicked her and she slapped her stomach. Damn baby. The slap had been a reflex. She knew the baby couldn't feel it.
She hated being pregnant. She felt like some barnyard animal. When she was in high school she read a historical romance and the heroine referred to being pregnant as "breeding". It was gross.
It was the only book she ever remembered from high school and it hadn't even been an assigned book. She'd read it because she thought reading might be fun. It wasn't and that was the last time she thought about reading anything that wasn't sold at the check out stand at the grocery store.
If she could turn back time, she would never have tried crank. The high was crazy amazing, but the low was hell. That's the way it always was with drugs though. Good times when they are inside you and bad times when they wear off.
In rehab, they had given out phone numbers to call if you were thinking about using and they told them they should go to a Narcotics Anonymous meetings. She had more than enough meetings during group sessions at rehab.
She wasn't like all those other losers in rehab with all their endless bitching and self-pity. One day when all the sob stories grated on her nerves until she couldn't stand it anymore, she actually stood up and yelled "shut the fuck up and quit bitching. No one gives a shit about your issues and whether or not you find your fucking authentic self."
It was her favorite day at rehab. Everyone stared at her with their mouths open in shock. Fucking sheep. Rehab had a bunch of empty phrases and concepts to hide the fact that rehab was just a scam to make money. There success rates were around 5%. Who buys something when there's a 95% chance it won't work? Fuck rehab.
She would quit drugs on her own. She would show that fucking stupid rehab that she was better at rehab than their program full of shit phrases and empty concepts.
After these two bags, she was starting a new life. She decided to start with the skull and cross bones bag first.