I wanted nothing more than to sleep. For days, ideally. Demetri and Felix, however, had other ideas.

Since Jane had left, I'd been unable to fall asleep. The day's events had been overstimulating my brain as I struggled to find a suitable distraction. Which is why I was glad when Felix and Demetri barged into the room. They never stayed on any one topic for too long and their bickering made for excellent entertainment. And after bribing me with popcorn, they'd talked me into having a movie night.

"Pick something." I looked up from my book and raised my eyebrows at Demetri. "Seriously. Before Felix returns or we'll end up watching three hours of lasers in space."

I convinced Demetri to let me finish my chapter until Felix got back. It was only fair, seeing as they'd been the ones to interrupt me. But, I decided that satisfying his question would allow for that. "What film do you want to watch, then?"

His answer was immediate. "Something with cars."

"Great, any movies about cars?"

"A few come to mind," he said casually, his grin growing.

"Then I pick those movies."

"Which one?"

I shrugged. How many could there be? I looked back down to my book and not a second later, Demetri sighed dramatically on my right.

"I'm almost done. I promise."

He lifted the book up in my hands so he could see the cover. "I thought you finished this one weeks ago?"

"I read it a lot," I said, shrugging. "Wait, how did you know that?"

He copied my shrug. "Alec mentioned it. The guy wouldn't shut up about you for the last two missions. Seriously, the whole time." He threw one hand behind his head and leaned back on the couch, mumbling to himself, "kid needs a muzzle." I looked down at the book in my hands, my fingers tracing the text printed inside it. Demetri froze, realising his use of the boy's name broke the code of silence on the elephant in the room. He gave a guilty chuckle, "my bad…" I was surprised to hear that Alec talked about me at all, even more so because it wasn't Jane telling me this.

"It's okay. A muzzle's a good idea." Demetri grinned when he heard my joke, probably pleased I hadn't yelled at him instead. And Demetri, being far more emotionally intuitive than our dear friend, Felix, used the moment to breach the topic of the boy.

"You wanna talk about it?" I cringed at the suggestion, though I gave him a reluctant smile, appreciative of the gesture.

I closed the book in my lap with a snap. "Not even a little."

"Can I just say one thing?" I sighed, willingly giving him my attention. I felt so lost that it couldn't hurt to have a few outside perspectives. "If Alec kept the—" I tensed, expecting him to use the word I'd been trying to avoid thinking about and he noticed this. "Thing… from you for this long, he definitely has his reasons."

"Demetri—"

"I'm not saying let him off the hook, but maybe just hear him out?"

My tone was bitter with the history between Alec and me. "Would you?" He appeared thoughtful about it, but didn't get the chance to answer as the double doors of the library disturbed the peace.

Felix barged into the room, along with a strong smell that wafted through the library like cigarette smoke. He turned the corner into the alcove, holding a bowl of popcorn at arm's length.

I pouted, "you burnt it."

The large man rolled his eyes at me, holding the bowl above my head and out of my reach. "Thank you Felix, my favourite-st and the hottest vampire to ever exist, how thoughtful of you." I pouted and his eyes checked out the ceiling once more before he gave in.

I grinned as he plopped it in my lap and moved to the couch diagonal to mine, his nose crinkling from the smell of the human food. "Thank you."

Throwing his arm over the back of the couch, Felix reminded us of our main task for the night. "So, what are we watching?"

Demetri nearly squealed, "Batman!"

I couldn't help but give a snort of laughter. "That's a car movie?"

"Humans can make all the corvettes and jaguars that they want. But the Batmobile — now that's a car."

"Well, it is appropriate," I agreed. "Especially after how Felix kicked that guy's butt today." I declared, pretending to throw a punch and a kick.

Felix beamed with pride. "Hell yeah, I did."

Demetri chuckled, "so modest."

I leaned forward excitedly to Felix, "will you teach me how to do that?" I wasn't completely helpless when it came to fighting, but I definitely didn't look as cool as Felix when he fought.

I expected him to be ecstatic, but he hesitated and glanced at Demetri. "I'm not sure that's the best idea."

The other man rubbed his neck and added, "yeah, Fi. You're kind of…breakable."

"I'll wear kneepads and a helmet if I have to." Felix considered this and nodded eagerly.

"That could work!"

"It's a bad idea," Demetri countered, taking on the rarely held position of 'party-pooper' in our group. "You get so much as a bruise and Aro'll have his head."

Felix's let out a booming laugh, "not to mention Alec—" Demetri shoved an elbow at him, but it was too late. Both men turned to see my reaction.

I pretended not to notice the slip. "Oh, please. I've had so many fractures, breaks, burns, and cuts that I can hardly remember where they all came from." I laughed a little at their sensitivity, "I swear, I could scrape my knee on the sidewalk and you'd all act like the world was ending."

"Only if you were bleeding." I snorted at the comment

"Now, that, is a scar I do not have," I winked, thinking of the fang marks critical to the vampire legends. Felix couldn't help but give a boisterous laugh and Demetri rolled his eyes, but smiled anyways.

He leaned back, throwing out, "maybe when you're a newborn. You might just put Felix through the floor."

I swallowed at the reminder of the impending, undecided date. I still had no escape plan, short of trying to scale the castle walls, and no ideas as to where I'd go first. But I nodded along with Felix, attempting to mirror his level of enthusiasm.

"As an expert in kicking ass, it is my honour to take you on as a student." He gave a little bow and Demetri scoffed.

"Please. You should see my skills — when I'm not going easy on this guy." He winked at me, baiting Felix even more.

"Hush, Demetri. It's my turn for the spotlight."

"But if she really wants to learn, it should be from the master."

I was silent as they bickered, stuck on something they'd mentioned as a throwaway word. "What's a newborn?" I asked, remembering the word from the trial earlier.

"A new vampire." Demetri easily explained away. "The first three months of a vampire's life, every one of your new attributes is heightened — from strength to blood lust."

Felix added, "they're near impossible to control." I frowned. "What does—"

"Questions later!" Felix appeared in front of me, patted my head, and helped pull me up from the couch. "Movie time." He handed me my popcorn.

I cast a glance over to Demetri, who reassured me, "don't worry, we'll answer all your questions. You have time." Time. But, how much? I lagged behind the two men as we headed for the doors, and as if it'd been planned, they began to creak open.

Alec halted in the doorway upon seeing Felix and Demetri. They had done well enough to distract me, but now that the source of my frustrations was unavoidable, I doubted even Batman could heal the furious and contrasting emotions raging inside me. His entrance reminded me of everything I'd been trying to ignore.

Alec's eyes narrowed as he traded looks with Felix, then Demetri, before finally landing on me. His eyes softened, inspecting me for any damage, as he always did when he hadn't seen me for a while. I used to think it was some weird insurance to avoid getting in trouble for accidentally hurting me again. Now, though, I knew that I was probably wrong in this assumption and that Alec likely had a less calculating reason for doing it. A reason that sent butterflies through my stomach before they were forced to take a backseat by the unmistakable fury that shared its' space, refusing to be silenced.

Demetri leaned in a bit, as if to hide me from Alec's view or vice versa, stealing Alec's attention from me. He glowered at the man, but I still couldn't tear my eyes away from his face.

After standing in silence for longer than was reasonable, Alec looked back at me and croaked out, "can we talk?" The sound made me bite my lip, wondering if vampire's could cry, would I see tear stains on his cheeks. I brushed the thought aside, thinking my thoughts were too dramatic.

I hesitated as Demetri turned around to give me a look. He tilted his head to Alec, as if assuring me that if I chose not to stay with Alec that they would stand by me. I glanced back to Alec. He was looking at me with a sort of saddened hopefulness that pushed past my anger, though the fire kindled, impatiently waiting for an opportunity to return.

I found myself nodding, politely declining Demetri's unspoken offer of support. "I'll be fine." I gave him and Felix a small smile and it was the best I could manage under the circumstances. I pushed my bowl of popcorn off into Demetri's hands, "protect that with your life."

Demetri wrapped an arm around the bowl to secure it and walked to Alec, claiming his direct attention. However, it was Felix that spoke. "We'll give you the room, then," he was matter-of-fact, ruffling my hair casually as he passed by me. In an obvious attempt to brighten my mood, he cheered, "movie night will prevail!" But I had already turned my attention back to Alec so Demetri nudged his shoulder and led him out of the door as he pouted childishly.

The boom of the doors closing bounced off of the library walls, waking me from my haze. Alec made no move to say or do anything and the longer we stood there, the more I struggled to suppress the reckless emotions inside me. Seeing no point in standing and staring at each other for an unnecessary amount of time, I spun on my heel and returned to the couches the guys and I had occupied barely two minutes ago.

I'd been reading a fairytale book before their arrival, so I retrieved it from the couch. I considered the collection more 'light reading' than one that required constant focus and comprehension. It was one I often pulled from the shelves to read a story or two out of. Due to the chaotic state of the library's system, I was committed to returning my borrowed books back where I found them. This was as good a time as any while I waited for Alec to get out whatever he wanted to say so we could just move on.

I turned to look for Alec by the door, but he was gone. A quick flash of disappointment and relief passed over me just as I turned into the pathway between the bookshelves and spotted him. His hands were in his pant pockets and he stood directly in between two aisles of books. Specifically, the exact aisle I needed to complete my task. He must've assumed which book I'd been reading and remembered its' location. He gave me a soft smile, one just barely there.

Frowning, I brushed past him, turning into the fourth row of books. I slid my fingers across the binders of the dusty and weathered novels until I found the spot I was looking for. As I reached up, I could see Alec out of the corner of my eye as he waited for me to finish. He leaned against the shelf and silently watched as I slipped the antique copy of Grimm's Fairytales into its' rightful spot. There was nothing else to do that would help me put off this interaction with Alec. It was time. So, sighing roughly, I crossed my arms over my chest and faced him.

With my attention, he rubbed the back of his neck and shifted back and forth, stepping away from the shelf. He looked awkward, uncomfortable and there was no hint of his carefully crafted exterior of pride and arrogance. It was an emotion that I never would have imagined him giving anyone the opportunity to observe.

"Jane said you were here." I nodded, confirming his sister's story. Not that I needed to, considering our current location. "She wanted to apologise for the way your practice session ended."

I raised an eyebrow. "Jane…apologise?" Jane had at least three tendencies when it came to dealing with 'societal expectations': 1) She never verbally apologised for anything. Though, she did perform little tasks or the like that expressed the notion as best she could. 2) She was a notorious cheater in board games and everyone knew it. And if you confronted her, she'd double down. And 3) a lack of patience that often led to temper tantrums and ended with her amusing herself by using her gift on whoever was to blame. She was a charming girl.

"She seemed to be confused," he corrected. "Do you know what happened?"

"Err…yeah. It hurt." I rolled my eyes, my tone dripping sarcasm. "She doesn't need to apologise. It's barely a memory."

"You're sure?" Of course I was sure. She'd done nothing wrong.

It was as if he were attempting to gage my mood and my level of hostility, waiting to see if I were still upset with him. I decided to make it clear, "what do you want, Alec?"

He dropped his head to study the floor, debating his response in his head. Why couldn't he just tell me — "Marcus said the Masters would wish to speak with us. If we cannot figure out how to, well…"

"Not kill each other?" I filled in the blanks with a slight humour and his eyes immediately returned to mine, burning like wildfire.

Yet, his voice was gentle, "that's not funny."

I bit my lip and rubbed my arm guiltily, knowing it was a step too far. "Sorry." I turned to lean my head back against the books, supporting myself on the shelf.

So, the adults wanted to step in and mediate. I debated how bad it would be to talk about all of these strange emotions I was experiencing in front of Aro, Caius, and Marcus versus discussing them privately with only Alec. It sounded mortifying, but I refused to give in so easily. "I don't want to talk to you." His mouth dropped as if he expected a more timid response from me. No way, Jose. Not this time.

He recovered quickly, however, unconsciously puffing out his chest and adjusting his stance. "Well, too bad, because I do."

I scoffed, "you see — that. That right there."

"What?"

"You! You're the most egotistical, self-righteous person I've ever met." I threw my hands up in distress, easily falling back into the battle positions we were so used to. This was, however, much more than a simple tiff. "Just because you've decided now is a convenient time for you to talk, doesn't mean I have to."

He gritted his teeth, frustrated with my temper and trying to control his. "Then, when would you like to talk?"

"Never." I crossed my arms again, refusing to look at him.

He chastised me impatiently, "you are behaving like a child."

"Or maybe you're just old." "What is your problem?"

I turned my glare from the bookcase in front of me to him. "Seriously?"

He cast his eyes down and away from mine, running a hand through his hair as he struggled to find the words to help me understand. The gentleness returned to him for a moment, revealed in the insecurity. "I wanted to tell you."

As much as I wanted to hear what he had to say, I couldn't bite back the betrayal that was consuming me. Demetri had asked me to be patient with him, but I wasn't able to manage even that. Not yet. "Would that have been before or after I'd been turned into a blood-sucking demon and had no choice but to be stuck with you?"

I achieved my goal as his face filled with hurt and immediately, he denied the accusation. "Do you truly think so little of me?"

"Is it not reciprocated?" I retorted and he seemed to be confused by my claim. "Until a few weeks ago, you were absolutely horrid to me, even knowing what you did." I was struggling to move past the fact that he'd kept this secret from me and until I did, I wouldn't be able to even consider what it all meant. What did being 'mates' actually mean, how would it change our current relationship? These were questions begging desperately for attention, but it was more than I could give at the moment.

He pursed his lips and I could see him processing my words, though he didn't seem to comprehend my point. "I've told you I was sorry." He took another step towards me but I held a hand out firmly to deny his attempt to connect with me. If he touched me for even a second, I would not be able to stay angry with him. That, I knew for sure. His touch clouded my determination and if I gave in before we'd addressed the details, we'd never be able to move past this.

"And yet, three months later and we're right back where we started. With you and your secrets." I pushed past him but he caught my wrist and pulled me back. I gasped, immediately meeting his eyes which burned into mine. For a moment, I was lost in him and I could almost feel the wall of my enmity breaking down.

Through his teeth, he tried to convince me, "Like it or not, those secrets keep you safe."

For some reason, the return of those words sent a raging fire through my bones. His words inspired my fury to push back against the effect he had on me and I tore my wrist away from him. I glared and told him, "I'm getting really tired of hearing that."

"It is the truth."

I scoffed. "Where I come from, the word secret is synonymous with a coward."

"I did not make the decision to keep these secrets lightly."

"And yet you've lied to me and forced others to do the same."

He closed his eyes, his voice tight and divisive in itself as if trying to hold back the bull that kicked impatiently at the door of its' stable. The bull was winning. "Must you be so difficult?"

Throwing his vexed attitude back at him, I charged, with little regard for consequence, "because I didn't just give in and fall into your arms to live happily ever after like a good little human?" I knew it was unfair of me, but he easily took my bait.

He didn't falter, didn't hesitate as he raised his voice at me again, "it'd be a hell of a lot better than this!"

I froze and he dropped his head in shame as his temper attacked me. Before he could recover and try to offer a new apology, I continued to let my anger control my brain. It took the reins and tossed them aside, and I'm not even sure I felt human anymore.

I smirked bitterly, ruefully as I stared back at him. "Was it worth this?"

His jaw tensed before ruby eyes focused on mine. "Yes."

"Pardon?"

"You are my mate and you are alive and breathing - here. With me." He stared at me, wide-eyed, as if he didn't fully believe that this moment would come to pass. He cleared his throat, "I stand by my decision."

I choked on a breath, struggling to even fathom that this was real. "Then this conversation is over."

He let out an exasperated sigh at my contempt, that I wasn't going to make this easy on him at any turn. He wasn't giving up. But, instead of trying to meet me halfway, he muttered woefully, "all of the centuries. Of all the women. And it had to be you." He said this more to himself, but he made no attempt to lower his voice or hide the spitefulness that coloured his words. It would've been amusing if it didn't feel so personal. He wanted it to sting and it hurt a lot more than I was willing to acknowledge.

Momentarily lacking the ability to consult the least reckless part of my brain, I found myself on defense, biting right back at him. Honestly, I didn't mean to say it — I was just so angry, "brilliant. Go make one of them your mate and leave me alone." Alec's face dropped and I felt a pang in my chest at the sight.

"Saffiya!" He exclaimed, appalled, as if I'd just confessed to some heinous crime.

"What!" He didn't answer me. Instead, he closed the gap between our bodies and captured my face in his hands.

And his lips came crashing down on mine.

~•~•~•~

A/N: FINALLY! AmIRight!

I know you waited a long time for this chapter and it may not feel as long because it is a lot of dialogue, so to round it all out I just decided to be the worst and give you guys a lovely little cliffhanger. WhAT's gOnnA HAPpEn!? ;)

You may have noticed I've been a bit scatterbrained recently. So, I must be an adult and tell you that I cannot post at all in the next week. I have an application due for my dream school and I have maybe 2 sentences done in my essay. The faster I get it done, the sooner I can continue to write for all of you. If I have any updates or comments in the next week, I will post it on my account wall and maybe add it to the end of this with an update notice.

Two Important things to Note:

A lovely reader, littlebbyalien (Wattpad), umfokazi (Fanfiction), has been given permission by me to translate this story into Polish and post it on here and on Wattpad. If you'd like to read the story in Polish, go check it out!

2) A disclaimer before the story continues. I do not write pregnancy nor smut/sex/lemon (whatever you wanna call it) into my stories. It's just not my style even if we all know Alec is a hella dom but no fear - you'll def see some scenes get a lil hot and heavy. I am, after all, only human and kissing is fun. Like, really fun. I highly suggest it.

Your reviews are absolute gold and every follow and favourite makes my heart soar. As always, your reactions and thoughts keep me sane and I appreciate everyone single one of them.

Guest1: Your reviews were amazing and so in tune with what I wrote many of the chapters in mind with, thank you so much for all of them! You have great questions scattered throughout to which only time will tell for most. Also, Camilla Cabello is another excellent example for what I imagine Saffiya being similar to.

.2021: I love where your thoughts are heading. Also, pet names are my fav. Total light headed, weak in the knees, starstruck kinda feeling that i think it also important for his character.

: That's the spirit! Haha Still thinking the same?

Thank you for all the song suggestions! Keep 'em coming. I think I'll just put them together in a youtube playlist. Let me know if you have any other suggestions.

All the best to you all,
Ro