4
Little Toy Bikers and a Woman on the Run
Chapter 63 Gifted
Jax knew that if he hadn't left the room, he would have said more to his mother. Her attitude brought his anger to a white hot fever pitch. She was a mother, yet she had been so callous and cold about the dead baby she'd just held in her arms.
He might have felt more compassion for Gemma if she had just been willing to admit she was out of line for saying baby girls should be drowned at birth. He saw his mother's faults clearly. She lacked any ability for introspection. She didn't see any need to ever change. She thought she should be able to control his life. She also hadn't done herself any good by trying to blame Tara for the words that came out of her own mouth.
Sometimes he thought about leaving Charming to join another SOA chapter to get away from his mother's smothering. He felt he needed to stay because SAMCRO was his father's legacy to him, but there were times when he considered leaving for a few years.
His relationship with Clay was ever evolving. Sometimes it was good and sometimes it was bad. He didn't trust Clay to lead SAMCRO. If he left, he was afraid of what Clay would do to the MC without him providing balance and guidance. He felt trapped in Charming by his mother and SAMCRO.
Jax had one last task left to do before leaving the hospital; he had to tell the guys about the baby's paternity. It never occurred to him to keep the truth from them. He wasn't the first man in history who had been lied to by a woman about a baby's paternity and he wouldn't be the last.
When he told the guys, they were all taken aback, unsure of whether to console him over the baby's loss or congratulate him for not being the dead kid's father. In the end, they just called him "brother" and slapped him on the back.
Chibs suggested going to the clubhouse and getting drunk. Jax told them he needed some time to deal with everything that had happened. He was glad to have their support, but he wanted a little space. He had experienced so many emotions in such a short span of time; he was exhausted.
On the way to his house, he stopped to get cigarettes. He had been trying to quit for the baby. He had gone almost a full week without smoking. He didn't have to quit now.
He had just picked out a candy bar when he saw a display at the end of the third aisle. It was the perfect present for Scarlett. She would love it.
It had been a little tricky figuring out how to get Scarlett's present on his bike, but he used a couple of bungee cords he kept on his bike to fasten the present to his back in an improvised back pack.
He thought when he left the hospital, he wanted alone time. As soon as he saw the perfect present for Scarlett, he realized he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to see Scarlett. Even a couple of minutes with her would make him feel better.
It wasn't too late to drop by her motel room. All the death and betrayal that seemed to have taken months had only taken a little over an hour and a half. She stayed up late, so he wasn't worried about waking her.
Just the idea of seeing Scarlett lifted his mood. She was the only bright spot in his life right now. The more time he spent with her, the more time he wanted to spend with her.
He didn't want to talk about what had happened since he saw her. He just wanted to relax and hang out with her for awhile. He also wanted to tell her that he was leaving town for a few days. He was going to pack a bag and head out in the morning. He needed to get away from Gemma.
When he thought of how she had behaved over the baby's death, all his anger at her came flooding back. If he saw her while he was still so angry, he would go off on her again. He kept replaying the way she had tossed Bela into the rocking chair. Each time, his anger grew.
Jax parked his bike and got Scarlett's present. The lights in her room were on. He knocked and waited. No Scarlett. He knocked again. Still no Scarlett. He was disappointed. He had really been looking forward to seeing her.
He began walking to his bike. Suddenly, her door was flung open.
"Jax," Scarlett called.
She was wearing black leggings and a knee length black T-shirt with big emerald green polka dots.
His heart beat faster and he was crazy happy to see her. He was definitely not feeling like his normally cool, confident self.
"You weren't asleep were you?" he asked.
"No. I was brushing my teeth when I heard the knock. It took me awhile to get to the door."
He walked into her room and she closed the door behind him.
"I brought you a present," Jax said. "I even gift wrapped it for you." He pointed to the plastic bags on either end.
"This is exciting," she said.
She removed the bags from the gift and smiled when she saw the present. It was a grabber with a handle at one end and a claw grip at the other.
"It's perfect," she said. "I don't have to worry anymore about how I'm going to pick something up."
"The second I saw it, I thought of you."
"Thank you so much," Scarlett said. She kissed Jax on the cheek. She looked into his eyes and frowned. "Are you OK? You seem different."
"I really don't want to answer questions. I just want to hang out with you for awhile."
"OK. I have one question I need the answer to and then no more questions. Is there any chance this is going to end with a SWAT team blowing my motel room's door off?"
He smiled. Scarlett's mind worked in some interesting ways.