I had been filled with a biting discontent. Fretting over what I should've, could've done if only I'd been prepared for Travis and Vladimir's attack. And of all outcomes, I wondered if maybe, just maybe…Travis didn't have to die.

To distract my mind, I was finally reading the notebook Aro had gifted me before we left.

The green ink was blurred. Each turn of a page crinkled with opposition to the action, missing the warmth of its fellow abandoned pages. My fingers traced the warped paper with delicate strokes, as if the words would make more sense if I considered them from a tactile perspective. They didn't. They were simply the notations of a man, a detective obsessed with his case.

He knew my father's birthday, his preferred wine, and the way he ate his steak - medium rare. All things that I had been too young to know or to even remember. It read more like a biography than a crime log, and yet, there wasn't a single word about me. The situational spite I had for the owner of the journal jumped on this. The inspector knew intimate details about my father, but he had written nothing about his target's ten-year-old daughter.

Whatever Aro wanted me to find, it wasn't legible.

A breeze whooshed passed by me, and the deck chair dipped with a new weight behind me. It was followed by a gentle hand, tucking away the hair that had fallen on my face. I breathed in, relishing the way his existence made me feel — a collision of exhilaration and comfort. A gasoline fire – struck with a match and speeding straight to my chest and a flower bud, opening for the first time in the blink of an eye. A star exploding millions of miles away and streaking across the sky. Magnetic.

Soft lips brushed against my shoulder in greeting. When I ignored it, another grazed closer to my neck, tickling my skin and sending a shock of electricity to the corners of my mouth.

"Alec?" He hummed against my skin in acknowledgement, his arms wrapping lazily around my torso. "I'm reading," I tried to sound stern, but I gave in to his prompting, leaning back against his chest. He nuzzled his nose in the dip of my neck. His slow breaths cued the sensitive area to send a pulse through my body.

In a low voice, he requested, "take a break." His hands interlocked with mine, giving me no choice but to relinquish the journal's pages.

"No," I mumbled, and he chuckled, a reaction that reverberated from his chest into mine.

"You really are quite stubborn, tesoro." [darling]

We were rather conservative in our behaviour around the Cullen coven, and while we were both aware that they were nearby, the distance provided by the beach still felt like a barrier. Like a closed door that we could pretend to hide behind. But even behind closed doors, we had been busy with words and shared glances rather than more physical actions. So this, was relatively bold.

The visibility in the water below severely limited any opportunity for a surprise attack, leaving the woods to be the only option for someone that wanted to get to us. And the Cullens had that covered. We were practically an island on the already small island.

Except, a sudden chill fell in the air. Alec ignored it, but the sky grew darker as if a storm were on the way. I went to stand, but Alec roughly pulled me back down. The waves crashed down below, quickly swallowing themselves back into the ocean. Each time they returned, they grew wilder and darker than before. The wind began to whip the air, and I tugged against Alec's hold again, which only grew tighter. I finally turned when he wouldn't release me.

Only it wasn't Alec anymore.

I had awoken with laboured breaths early this morning, still seeing the images my brain had forced into my unconscious mind. Rosalie was the one to bring me back to reality, having to remind me several times that Alec had gone hunting with Esme and Emmett a day earlier. She was under the impression that my worry for Alec had caused the nightmare. I chose not to correct her.

Though their 'hunting trip' did have me on edge. Not for safety concerns, but because Alec and Emmett had started to butt heads the last day or so before they'd gone. Behaviour that seemed to confuse Emmett's siblings. Not to mention, it was one of the only times Alec would speak, let alone acknowledge the Cullen family. Their encounters were brief, a slick comment thrown here and there. Hardly enough to even be considered an encounter. But it had me growing more anxious each time because Alec's natural sarcasm seemed to hit the exact right nerve in Emmett's body.

Which was likely why Esme was elected to go with them, by Alice, no less. The 'older' woman was the only one Alec didn't make snide remarks around. I hoped his unique respect for her was enough to keep both males at bay.

Rosalie hadn't left my side all day, making me realise nothing had changed since leaving the Volturi. I was still under guard all the time. Though, I had expected Rosalie to support her partner and treat me as Elizabeth had when Alec and Prosper were at odds. (Well, when Alec was at odds with Prosper). For this reason, I found her attention disquieting.

It was difficult to ignore the hesitant hostility between Alec and the Cullens. Alec was the cause of the tension more often than not. He'd said only a few words over the last few days, maintaining a diplomatic stature whenever we were not directly alone.

Still, the Cullen family had done their best to keep us, well me, occupied. Despite the sharp comments exchanged between Alec and Emmett, the latter was quite eager to assist in entertaining me. And even if Alec didn't, I liked him. I still wasn't entirely comfortable letting loose in their company, but I spent a majority of our time getting to know them through stories while Alec brooded in a corner. An absence of news from Volterra and a lack of updates from Prosper had made him unsettled, which did little to ease the atmosphere of the home.

Part of me felt disloyal for accepting the Cullens so easily when Alec had such strong disdain for the coven. But to ignore the family that was giving us refuge and support was something I couldn't bring myself to do. Especially when the alternative was spending 24/7 in a castle full of red-eyed vampires that had far less control than the Volturi's guard.

Rosalie spoke up, reminding me of her presence. "Would you like to talk about it?"

I barely turned my head, skipping another thin, flat pebble out on the calm water. "No, thank you," I said flatly.

She tried again, which frustrated me. "Emmett's a hothead, but he won't let anything happen to him."

I cut her off, "I'm not worried about Alec." She didn't believe me. "I'm not worried about anything. I'm just throwing rocks." I picked up a pebble from the pile I'd collected at my feet. It was heavier than the rest, and instead of skipping, it dropped into the water with a loud splash.

My voice was somewhat sour as I asked pointedly, "why'd they send you?"

"It made sense." I eyed her warily, waiting for some kind of threat. Elizabeth hadn't dared to threaten me outright, but what if Rosalie had no such qualms? She certainly had less to fear, with a mate like Emmett and her family/coven behind her. Even together, they were no match for Alec. Unless they used me, as Vladimir had done. Then, they would hardly break a sweat, and it would be the end of us.

I was being too emotional. I thought of Jane and what she might instruct me to do. My recollection of Jane's aura urged me to adopt her attitude. But for some reason, Rosalie sighed and said suggestively, though it bordered on rude, "you're handling everything quite well – for a human."

"I've had some time to adjust," I snapped back, picking another rock and not even bothering to skip it. The splash nearly reached us.

Dryly, she continued, "it's been four days."

Only four? The train ride – and everything that happened on it – seemed like weeks ago. I'd tried not to think about it much, and Alec left the topic alone as well. Though I was unsure of whether this was by design or merely coincidental.

I rolled my eyes to hide my hesitation. "I don't know what you want from me."

"You're not one of them." It was as if she knew this would get my attention, a hint of self-aggrandizement on her lips as I turned to stare at her. Or was it pity that I saw mixed up in her expression? "You don't have to be…this. We can help you." Clearly, the Cullens had some issues about their vampiric selves if they refrained from following their primal instincts and convinced themselves they were almost human. But this seemed a little extreme. Here she was, offering me a chance to avoid an immortal life. What did she have against being a vampire? And why did she care whether or not I became one too? Though her claims revealed her lack of awareness regarding my situation.

"When the Volturi told me that I had a choice – become one of them or die, I chose death." Knowing what I knew now, I understood their logic. It was arrogant, entitled logic, but logic nonetheless. She seemed taken aback by my brevity, but I continued before she could interrupt. "I didn't know it was a false option at the time, of course. And Alec…I don't understand it yet, not fully."

"If not for Alec, you wouldn't be in this situation."

I snorted. "I've only just stopped holding that against him." I glanced at her. It seemed we were still struggling to find the same wavelength. "What do you live for, Rosalie?"

"Pardon?"

"You and your family resent your immortal status. So, why do you stay?"

A thin line appeared between her brows, and beautiful blonde locks fell over her shoulder as she issued a denial. "You don't have to live for him."

I pressed my lips together, her words running through my mind over and over again.

"I know." My eyes left the ocean. "But what if I could?"

We didn't talk much after that. And despite my nonacceptance of her offer, the atmosphere between us was less strained.

Rosalie's voice entered the air only a few minutes later, announcing, "they're back."

She didn't wait for me to follow but started back towards the house at a human pace. I abandoned my pile of rocks, not far behind her.

Alice and Jasper pulled into the driveway at the front of the house, joining us just as Alec, Esme, and Emmett emerged from the trees. Not one of the three looked particularly pleased, though all three had shining bright eyes - two gold and one red. Esme stood in-between the two males – purposefully, it seemed – as she eyed both once they'd stopped in front of our newly formed group.

Emmett's clothing was rumbled and dusty, as if he'd rolled around in a damp patch of dirt. The others were dirt-free, and I briefly wondered if Emmett had wrestled with his meal. He'd bragged about it lightheartedly earlier, but I expected more than just dirt to ruin his clothes if that was the case. Maybe even a little blood.

But, it wasn't until Rosalie sped towards him that I put together his appearance was not standard after-meal attire for the man. Alice and Jasper had also picked up on this, albeit way before me, and their bodies were tensed. Jasper's eyes had narrowed in on Alec, so I followed his lead.

Alec's face was void of any identifying emotion, but I caught the end of his check-in with me. When my non-bleeding and lack of broken bones had been determined, he refocused on the professionalism of his diplomacy had officially dissipated. In fact, he appeared exhaustively bored as Rosalie demanded an answer.

"What happened?"

The front door opened and closed before anyone was willing to answer.

"Alec."

Carlisle walked out of the house and came to a stop beside me, hand extending a phone to Alec. The boy's jaw clenched as he took the phone, and his gaze darkened when someone addressed him on the other line. It was a woman's voice - probably Jane's. His glare was awarded to Carlisle before turning on his heel, immediately leaving our group.

His shoulders were stained with mud.

I made to follow him, but Esme stopped me.

"Saffiya." I turned, and she shook her head at me. Her voice was much sterner than usual, and I observed her face, noticing the same in her expressions. I considered disobeying, glancing back at Alec as he walked further away from us. I probably would have until I spotted Emmett, his eyes already on me. Rosalie was still trying to get him to acknowledge her, to tell her what happened. But he just stared at me.

This time, I scanned him in more detail to get my answers. Emmett stood nowhere near his full height, but his shoulders were hunched, tensed, and his fingers hung limply. He seemed to be relying on Rosalie to support his weight. Creases seemed almost permanent across his forehead. There was a gaunt look in his eyes, and his expression was dulled. The expected light in his eyes had been vanquished, momentarily. Though it probably lasted only seconds, the memory was still haunting him. His gaze dropped to the ground before looking up. He did this once, and then again while I observed him. It wasn't until the third time that I realized he was checking to reassure himself that the ground was still there beneath him.

I felt numb as I came to a deduction defined by a similar emptiness. And for the first time since we'd left Volterra, my tone held the same indifference that was so well-practiced by those in the castle. "Which one did he take?" I could see the others turn to me, but I stayed focused on Emmett as I waited for a response.

Of course, I'd been told about the over-eagerness the twins had for using their gifts, a problem that stemmed from their early vampirehood. I'd even seen it firsthand on more than one occasion. Though they were each quite proficient without it – Alec hadn't let me stick around to watch Jane fulfill Travis' sentence, and this decision alone felt like more proof to the point. Even still, when Alec numbed his victims, he revelled in it. But I hadn't expected Alec's distaste of the Cullens to reach this point of aggression.

"Everything." Carlisle was the only one who didn't react, but he and Esme made eye contact before she dropped her gaze in disappointment. Even Alice, who had clearly not foreseen this, gasped aloud and covered her mouth with both hands. Jasper's face darkened, but he held tight to Alice's hand.

I glanced beside Emmett to see that Rosalie's expression had become murderous, but her mate's hand reached out to her before she could chase after Alec. Whatever progress she and I had made was almost certainly voided.

"But…he didn't." Alice insisted. "I checked–"

Jasper spoke up. "Alec only knows how to respond with force. It's not his fault."

Rosalie hissed, "it wasn't an accident. He knew what he was doing." she turned to her mate so he could back her up.

Emmett's attention, however, had flickered back to me.

I frowned, irritation flooding me. Alec wouldn't be so careless as to attack without provocation. He needed a reason. A good one. "What did you do to him?"

Emmett's shame was prominent, puzzling the family members that did not yet know the whole story. Then, he admitted his actions. But he spoke so low, a vampire habit I despised, that all I could hear was a single word:

"...witch..."

It was all I needed for Alec's behaviour to make sense. Despite not yet understanding the connection, I had seen his reaction to the term. I'd been assuming it was one of the subjects that Alec was waiting till we were with Jane to fill me in on. But the consistency with which it was being used recently made me question the efficacy of that decision. Especially now. Was I supposed to stick up for him and berate Emmett? Or did we just move on? My lack of a reaction decided instead.

Emmett's eyes widened when I didn't recoil as if he expected me to have a much more dramatic response. Even though he'd whispered all but one freaking word. However, he wasn't the one who spoke.

"She doesn't know…how does–" She finally addressed me with an acid tongue towards my mate, "he hasn't told you?"

Carlisle immediately shut her down. "Rosalie, it's not our place."

"The hell it isn't," she snapped back, looking guilty a second later at Carlisle's expression.

"Rosalie," my voice was barely more substantial than a whisper, but her eyes flew directly to me. It was the first time I'd said her name aloud. "Please."

Her face softened, surprising me. "You deserve to know. He's not who you think."

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. What was that supposed to mean? Exactly how much credence could I put into her words when they hardly knew Alec better than I did. Or so I'd believed.

"Saffiya, why don't you wait for Alec inside?" Carlisle suggested, effectively shutting out the topic for the time being. "I think it's best he and Emmett spend some time apart."

I hesitated. The logic in his reasoning was spot on, and it pressed me to want to see Alec even more. Still, I couldn't help but feel like he was trying to get rid of me so they could talk. I wanted to know their side of the story, but I wanted to see Alec just as badly. Which Carlisle knew.

I studied the faces of the Cullen clan before agreeing and making my way inside with too much on my mind.

Thoughts that left as soon as I stepped inside the guest room – my room, for the time being. Alec was already inside, lying on the bed with his arm thrown casually behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

"The oaf started it."

I struggled not to laugh at his childish defense, leaning back against the door to close it.

I hadn't expected him to say anything. At least not until he grew tired of moping. But, he seemed more petulant than lifted his head and was suddenly leaning against the end of the bed, fully aware of how disorienting his speed was to me.

"Why'd you do it?"

Alec grumbled, "he forgot his place."

I rolled my eyes, hopelessly confused by some of the ridiculous statements he made. "We're guests here, Alec. After everything we've asked of the Cullens, you have to, at the very least, respect them." It felt strange to be the one lecturing, especially after the last few months. Still, he grimaced at my words and I exhaled impatiently. "Fake it, if you must. Civility won't ruin your reputation."

"Our."

"What?"

"Our reputation." He flashed across the room, and I felt his fingers gently lifting my chin to close my mouth. "Jane and I are infamous and you've established yourself with Huda's coven. Word will spread, and rumours only grow." He was so confident, so sure of his world. He continued,

"And I do respect them." I scoffed at such an obviously false statement. His hand slipped around my waist, casually resting on my lower back. "If anyone can keep a human safe, it is the Cullens."

I raised my eyebrows, suggesting, "you ought to tell them that sometime. I'm sure they'd appreciate it."

He snorted. "Unlikely."

"Well, not if you don't mean it." I huffed, a little bothered by the lack of sentiment. "Haven't you ever heard the phrase: 'you catch more flies with honey'?"

His eyebrows furrowed in complete confusion. "Why would I want to catch flies?"

I shoved his shoulder in jest, letting the topic go for now, and he moved back to let me drift into the room. My rucksack stuck out in the corner, and I contemplated digging that journal out but decided against it. I settled for sitting on the end of the bed, letting my legs drift back and forth across from the carpet in the same spot he'd recently vacated.

"How long will we be here?"

Alec tilted his head, his eyes keen on my every movement. "Aro said to await further instructions. With Vladimir's attack, they will deliberate and gather more information from their guests."

"How long will that take?"

He assured me with a laugh, "not long." I sighed dramatically, and pursed my lips before asking a follow-up question.

"Will Huda's coven still be in Volterra?" He shot me a proud smirk.

"Looking for a rematch, are you?"

I grinned. "Let's just say I like my odds."

For the first time since we'd been behind enemy lines, he let out a full-bodied laugh. He flashed towards me, lifting me from the bed and wrapping his arms around me from behind. His chin rested in my shoulder blades, the unfamiliar weight tickled me as his voice grew huskier, "you will be quite the handful as a newborn, my darling."

I froze, my brain losing an ink cartridge and my heart erratically mimicking a scratched CD. I was sure he'd spoken about my life as a vampire before, what it would or could be. And this was a prediction that had already been declared by others. It was amusing, for the most part. But, for some reason, this time, the distress of the topic was magnified. How could I tell him that my newborn life was something we might never have.

Luckily, Alec didn't notice my lapse, and I was quickly distracted as his fingers squeezed my sides. Giggles burst from my lips, causing me to squirm out of his hold to keep from a hysterical fit. Alec quickly pulled me back in with a light touch and tracing a finger across my cheek as I settled down.

"I missed you," he murmured. The admission calmed me, a gentle jolt spreading from my stomach and pushing away the last of the time bomb nerves in the background. I made sure to take a deep breath before fully meeting his eyes.

He'd been gone for only a little over a day, but I'd forgotten what it was to see him, to not have to analyse my own memories to remember the exact shape of his brows. His eyes, the colour I used to paint the devil's kingdom, was now the most beautiful glow I'd ever seen. They saw straight through me, burned straight into my heart. The curves of his cheekbones, surprisingly prominent in such a young face. The details I desired of him were only found through the power lens of a camera. I was sure no painting could ever do his face and those eyes justice.

I realised I was no longer looking into his eyes but at his lips. And I wanted to do more than paint him.

~•~•~•~

A/N: I totally listened to y'all's playlist to finish this up.

I would like to acknowledge that, yes, this is an odd chapter. Honestly, I'm more nervous about it than any other chapter I've put up so just go with it for now, I guess.

Thank you for all the reviews! You are amazing people and I can't even explain how much a single review to know your perspective and reactions from the story is so valuable to me. So, thank you.

Guest: Almost perfect timing for the question on why they left Volterra. There's a sentence in this chapter that answers it, but there will also be a chapter soon that'll clear up some things.

To all readers: Always feel free to let me know if you're confused by something plotwise so I can fix it in case you're not the only one :) Now would be a fantastic time if so, honestly, so hit me up.

143,

Ro

PSA: January is the worst month for mental health, so if you've been needing a kick or a sign to get back in touch with your therapist or even to just start going – this is it. It's essential to have a support system, but I cannot stress how important it is to get that support from someone who professionally understands what you're going through. That being said, Happy February!