"This is ridiculous."

I flicked my pencil at the back of Felix's head. A grin plastered itself on my face when the writing tool hit its mark, but my smile dropped immediately after. He hadn't even noticed.

In fact, my declaration went entirely unacknowledged.

"Why am I being punished?"

"It's education, Saffiya."

"Then why does it feel like a punishment?"

Demetri cackled, way too invested in their little teaching lesson despite ignoring me for their video games. Apparently, they were waiting for literature to 'get good again'. Direct quote. "Because you won't stop complaining."

Everything had been a little tense since Razin's latest threat. Or, at least, anything that had to do with me. As if they thought I might burst into tears or tear apart another room. But, after the initial shock wore off, I really didn't feel anything. I hadn't decided if that was good or bad yet.

I tossed my notebook and the copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales I'd been 'assigned' to translate into Italian to the other side of the couch. I had the English-to-Italian lexicon on my other side. Realistically, I should have finished the assignment hours ago, but in my defense, Demetri and Felix were more like babysitters than teachers. And they sucked at it.

The Kings had been the ones to assign the material in the first place, and this time I actually believed they were the ones to assign it. I think the entire castle was trying to get my mind off my father. "I'm pretty sure this is what teenagers are forced to do in movies after getting caught misbehaving in school."

"You mean detention?"

"Yes." I turned upside down on the couch, letting my head hang off the edge as I watched their game console upside down. "Writing lines."

Felix nudged Demetri, "maybe that's where we got the idea."

"Should we tell her?" They turned over their shoulders to look at my dumbfounded expression. They weren't even trying to whisper.

"She has been improving."

"Agreed. She's just being dramatic–"

"I'll show you dramatic–" I awkwardly tossed a couch pillow in their general direction, gravity working against me. Felix gasped, offended.

The couch cushion came right back at me, but before it could make contact with my face, a new arrival caught it.

"Jane!"

The elegant teenager raised her eyebrows at my position before shaking her head, not even bothering to verbalize her questions. She shifted her gaze to the others with a glint in her eyes. "Heidi is looking for you two. She sounds…embittered." The hint of her angelic smirk poked at the corners of her lips. Felix and Demetri threw each other nervous glances. Jane was far too gleeful for the information to be positive.

As if on cue, the rushing click of heels echoed through the doorway.

"Hide," one of them determined before they both disappeared in a gust of air. Jane set the pillow onto my stomach with a smirk.

"Saffiya!"

I dropped the pillow in alarm, holding up my hands to feign innocence as Heidi stormed in behind Jane. Her eyes scanned the room before zeroing in on me. "Where are they?"

I shrugged as best I could upside down. "You know, from this angle, it looks like you're smiling." She sent me a dangerous glare, and I mimed zipping my lips.

"What is it this time, Heidi?" Jane drawled, feigning impatience.

"My furniture is missing."

"Missing?"

Heidi huffed, jutting out her hip, "yes."

I chimed in, "like your couch is gone?"

Apparently, I was still on her very short list of suspects because the crease between her eyebrows only deepened as she turned on me again. "Couch, chairs, carpet – my entire room is empty!"

Demetri popped up from behind the couch diagonal from me, confident in his appearance. "Dearest, Heidi, how now?"

"How now, yourself," she snapped, reaching out a hand as if to strangle him from 15 feet away. "Where is my room?"

He held up his hands. "I couldn't help but overhear your predicament, and I am delighted to inform you that neither I nor Felix had anything to do with this travesty."

"Oh, please." She flattened her arms against her chest but shifted immediately after to point at Demetri again. "Only you two would think of something this childish."

"Saffiya's an actual child." Felix chimed in, rejoining us with a brush of wind from some direction out of my sight. "Why aren't you blaming her?"

I pushed myself back up, exclaiming, "don't drag me into this!" He brought two fingers to his eyes and then pointed them at me, the sign to say 'I'm watching you'. I held up two fingers, using the gesture he taught me. He gave me a taunting, smug grin.

"Palm in."

Heidi pinched the bridge of her nose, ready to burst in the erupting chaos before Jane's cool tone stepped in to take suspicion away from me. She challenged Felix's assertion with a rather demeaning tone,"your theory is that the human moved a room of furniture on her own?"

Before Heidi could reply, I picked up on Jane's technique, "maybe you did it and just don't remember."

"Whose side are you on, kid," Demetri exclaimed.

Heidi made an odd high-pitched sound, gaining the room's full attention. "I don't care who did it. Put it back by the end of the day, or this little pranking game you all have, is over," she threatened. With another grunting shriek and a flip of her hair, Heidi stalked away with a particularly icy scowl. The door slammed shut behind her.

After her heels had long gone, Jane winked at me.

"For the record," I started, exchanging an ostentatiously mischievous look with Jane as I sat right backup on the couch. "I am an excellent lookout." I watched, overjoyed, as Felix and Demetri began to pick up on my tone. "I also do distractions, delays, and misdirections."

I returned Jane's wink in an exaggerated manner and the men's outrage was immediate.

Overlapping shouts of protest that were almost enough to bring Heidi back finally settled into, "you two are evil."

I scoffed, "evil geniuses."

Felix directed a finger at me, "watch your back, kid."

"Is that a threat?"

"You're damn right it's a threat. You're going down." I stuck my tongue out, and he gasped, looking back and forth at the others as if he expected them to be just as outraged by my disrespect. "That's it Civello, no mercy."

"Is that so, Felix?" The inquiry came from the doorway, where Alec was lowering his hood and fixing the older man with a cold stare.

Felix's eyes widened before he spunaround, mimicking punching the air in frustration. "Every time!" He exclaimed, "do you just hide in corners and wait for me to take the mickey out of your mate?"

Alec raised an eyebrow, deeming it unnecessary for Felix to respond. He stopped beside his sister, removing his cloak and placing it over his arm. I had to swallow to keep my jaw from dropping.

The last two days had been absolutely miserable, despite the light-hearted engagements I got up to with the other vampires. But only because those other vampires were not the twins.

I'm not sure who was avoiding who, or if they were both so aware of the other that they hardly had to try to stay separated by at least a floor, but the twins had yet to broach the topic of their fight. They seemed to share me like a kid in a custody battle, one where Jane was definitely winning because Alec only took me when he was busy for very short periods of time. The time together would be during one of his meetings or his shifts with other guard members – all very boring for me.

Despite his decision to speak with his sister, ever since the twins' fight, Alec took the 'night shift', but I only knew this because he was forced to wake me from a nightmare early this morning. He stayed until I calmed down, immediately passing me off to his sister, who completely ignored him as she entered his room. It was the first time they'd willingly been in the same four walls for almost forty-eight hours. Until now.

No one else knew of the twins'...issues, of course. So, I tore my shocked stare away before Demetri or Felix caught a whiff of anything unusual. But seeing the twins stand side by side, it was as if nothing was out of place anyway.

Demetri sparked up the topic, likely wanting to get back on Heidi's good side as soon as possible. "So, where's the furniture?"

Jane smirked, and while I was eager to hear her response, as soon as Alec approached me, their conversation became irrelevant.

Whatever was said next went through one ear and out the other as he laid his cloak across the back of the couch (it definitely wouldn't be there long) and joined me rather casually on the sofa. I folded my legs in, but my calves rested along his arm, separated from the cold stone by another black turtleneck.

Unintentionally, my eyes flickered to his sister. He glanced over as well before searching between my eyes and nodding. I released a deep breath. I'd been terrified of having to meditate or, even worse, getting caught in the middle of them again.

Typically, Demetri, Felix, and I carried most of the conversation, with the twins chirping in with witty insults orlukewarmremarks. This time, Jane was fully engaged and growing more and more invested. When I tuned in, I understood why. "We are clearly the kings of pranks, and that is a fact."

Jane responded somewhat lackadaisically, but she was a particularly competitive individual. To an almost unreasonable level – if you made the mistake of choosing the wrong team. As in, not hers. "You lacked an adequate challenger. Your claim is meaningless."

"That sounds like a challenge. Don't you think, Felix?"

Felix threw down his game controller, "what say you, Jane?"

I interrupted before she came up with another dry-witted insult. "Slickest prank."

"Slickest?" Demetri tried to taste the word, and none of them had much confidence in my statement.

"Slick." I explained. "Like sly and underhanded, but smooth. Commendable – even praised by the victim. Winners are crowned queen."

"That's a worthy aspiration." Felix tapped his chin, audibly considering what the other two were doing quietly. Alec dipped his head to the side to catch my eye, and a hint of amusement danced in his.

I grinned, dropping my voice like a movie trailer. "This is war, Felix. Are you in?"

He raised his head, joining me with the tone of a loyal knight. Knight, because he was about to call Jane and me his sovereign rulers. "I have been waiting my entire undead life for this moment."

Demetri snorted, "That's a bit dramatic. So, what are the guidelines?"

"Fuck rules," Felix shouted, earning a look of distaste from Jane for his rambunctious nature.

"Alec's not allowed to participate," I spoke up softly, sending Alec a mute apology. My arrangement with Caius still applied.

The tracker nodded, "even better. He can be the commissioner. Keep everyone in line."

Alec expressed his disapproval, "This game is unwise."

"Someone's cranky."

As if to prove his crankiness, Alec stood, "The girls win. Consider the matter settled."

I grabbed his hand, pulling him back down as Felix knocked Demetri in the arm. "With his sister and mate on one team – no way."

I sighed, already recognizing that this war could go well into my first few years as a vampire with how serious they all seemed to be taking this. "Fine, we'll split teams. Me and Dem versus you two."

"This is a bad idea," Alec warned again. The rest of us, the fun ones, were willing to risk it, despite Alec's killjoy commentary.

"Nobody asked you." Alec shot a glare at Felix's frivolous goading, and the man let out an embarrassingly high yelp a second later. I turned to see a pleased smile on Jane's face. Immediately, Demetri and I were beseeched with, "can we switch partners –"

"No," I chorused with Demetri, who air fist-bumped me from afar.I reached down for my notebook.

"Targets?"

Alec spoke up, "the four of you."

"That's no fun."

"You are already on Heidi's last nerve," he reminded us sternly. "Would you like the entire castle to ban this oh-so-joyous activity as well?"

I narrowed my eyes, "you're just mad you can't join." He raised an eyebrow, his eyes focusing entirely on me until I broke eye contact, my heart jumping when I glanced back to see I still had his attention.

"Oi, lovebirds. Prank war."

I laughed again, looking away. "Right. Everyone except Heidi and the royals is fair game." Alec was quick to catch my purposeful exclusion of Heidi, despite his suggestion.

"That is not what I meant–" Jane cut her brother off.

She questioned, "Royals?"

"The Kings and their wives. You and Alec, too, I suppose. But not in this case, obviously."

Felix pointed at me, nodding. "Good call."

"Add secrecy. No one outside this room."

"Oh, remember, Saffiya is human."

"Fair play – no cheating."

"How would we cheat, exactly?"

Demetri shrugged, "I don't trust Felix not to come up with something."

"No pranks in the court areas or the twins' chambers."

"So, Fiya's room is game." Alec growled. "Fine, subject to the commissioner's approval, Fiya's room is on the table." So, off limits.

"What else?"

When no one else added something immediately, I left it open for future improvements. "Adjustments may be made as necessary and are subject to the Commissioner's approval."

I signed the bottom, then ripped the page out, holding out the brief write-up. "Signatures, please."

Alec snatched it before the others could, stealing my pencil and crossing out my indelicate handwriting no one is safe (except royals) and replacing it with his own elegant writing to limit our victims. Collateral damage is subject to commissioner approval on a case-by-case basis. "You'll thank me later," he swore ardently. I pouted, pressing my lips together when no one else had the mind to argue.

"Don't count on it."

He passed the items to his sister, catching my expression and chuckling.

The paper was quickly returned to Alec, who begrudgingly folded it up and slipped it into his pocket.

Felix threw his fist in the air and whooped, "let the games commence!"

"Not yet," Jane rolled her eyes at her unfortunate partner. "We can officially begin once I've returned."

I perked up, leaning forward. "Returned?"

She gave me a soft smile and nodded. "Tomorrow." She made this her farewell to me, nodding once more to her brother before taking her leave.

Felix tossed Alec another controller.

The twins' resolved disagreement behind us, I exclaimed, "hey! You said I got to play next."

"You, missy, never finished your Italian homework." I was fuming, so I lazily tossed my pencil at his head again. Alec placed a hand on my knee. When I frowned at him he merely shook his head with a hint of amusement, handing me my abandoned books on the other side of him.

I stuck my tongue out, cheekily stating, "I don't have a pencil."

Felix shouted something at Alec about choosing his character. Without missing a damn beat, Alec reached inside his jacket pocket and handed me a standard pencil. I stared at him, unsure whether to ask why he was casually carrying around a pencil he would never use or to demand whose side he was on. Unbeknownst to him, the latter was winning out before his hand drifted across my knees. I straightened, a small shock of nerves running through my stomach, and I automatically accepted the writing tool. Alec paid no mind to my response, lifting my legs over his lap and settling his arms around my knees with the controller in his hands.

"Oi, lovebirds," Demetri called out playfully. "Game now, flirt later."

Defensively, I aimed back "We're not –" Alec cut in.

"You're gonna die alone." He commented dryly, not even sparing Demetri a glance.

Felix snorted.

"Oh yeah?" Demetri tried to comment, unable to turn away as Felix started the game anyways. "Give the kid a girlfriend and suddenly he thinks he's Napoleon Bonny."

"Wait, did you guys know Napoleon Bonaparte?"

Felix immediately shut me down, "Homework, child."

Alec didn't reply to Demetri's attempted shutdown, casually – and therefore, suspiciously – pressing the buttons on the controller as if it were nothing. His long fingers tapped with what seemed to be no pressure, unlike the other two, who swayed with their cars and had definitely snapped controllers in half. There was an entire basket of new controllers in the game room just waiting for those very moments. Demetri whipped around to boast, but as soon as he did, the game made one of those classic, high-pitched sounds to inform the world that someone had died.

His jaw dropped. Felix began to snicker mercilessly, cleverly pausing the game so the same thing did not happen to him. Alec cocked his head to the side, feigning that youthful innocence he played so well. Which only stirred the venom in Demetri's veins.

They really were quite predictable. "You guys do not have the attention span to shit talk," I commented boorishly. Alec smirked, my support adding to his glory.

I had earned myself the role of being the new target as Demetri pointed accusingly at me. "I want five sentences before I kick both their assess in this game, or it's detention for you, kid." Ignoring both Alec and Felix's protests against the claim, I grinned smugly.

"Deal."

Easier said than done.