Author's Note: Hello my loves, I'm sorry about the wait! Thank you all for your support, you have all been so sweet! It helps me push onward. I do hope that this isn't move too fast for anyway. I really am enjoying this story so I'm happy to hear what you all think! We know what's got to come next, don't we? I hope you enjoyed!
"How's the school coming along?"
Jake hesitates, pausing on his way to the science lab, turning slowly to see Quaritch waiting by the entrance into the science wing. Jake sucks in a slow, deep breath, before turning to the man in front of him, standing at attention and trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his gut.
Quaritch smiles, wintery eyes studying his posture, as if amused.
"I think we're going to be done soon," Jake says, not sure what else he would want from him. "I... I think. I guess. I don't really know..."
Quaritch walks towards him slowly, arms crossed and Cheshire smile ever in place. He stops close enough to Jake that he has to tilt his chin up to look at the man in front of him, if he were to be trying to meet his eyes. But Jake's eyes stay level with the man's collarbone. Jake feels his breathing go shallow as his mind is taken to a place in the past. Where his body ached, and he would pretend he was dead so that the blows that seemed endless would finally cease.
It was better if it was him. Tommy used to cry, and that would make it worse.
A grunt, a groan, a whine. Something small and quiet, but easily ignored. Tommy was too loud. Tommy never knew when to be quiet. Never learned how to go to the place that never hurt. Where pain and fear never found him. All of it was like a foggy haze at the edge of his vision. He knew that it was out there, that if he peered deep enough, he could just make out that it was there, but he was content in the place that it wasn't.
Sometimes that place would hold tight to him for hours after the beating ended and when he came to, blinking back into the world he didn't want to be, it would be to unbearable pain that he shouldered in as close to silence as he could manage, and sometimes Tommy would be there, snot and tears flowing from his face like a faucet that Jake could rarely see through the swelling of his eyes or the blood trying to get into them from cuts.
More often than not, with Tommy there, it was always him trying to get Jake to come back to him, to leave that peaceful, mostly quiet place and back into his body. One that only knew pain and agony and terror.
Jake remembers the worst he ever had. Where right before it started, before he charged Jake, face purpling with rage, before the punches and kicks could meet his flesh, Jake knew he was going to die. Jake has seen him mad before, but never this mad. There never was any sort of indication that what he was doing was wrong. He never thought that it would matter. That they had advanced just enough as species that it shouldn't matter who he chose to spend his time with. Jake thought he didn't pay nearly enough attention to either him or Tommy for that man to have ever noticed anything anyway.
But he did. He came home just in time. And instead of going into his office and locking the door until it's time for him to go to bed, pretending that Tommy and Jake didn't exist, he went right to Jake's room. It was like he sensed something was amiss. Or he was looking for a reason to be angry. Or he was already angry and needed an outlet for it. But he always found that catharsis in Jake.
And their game of who will break first.
And while it was happening, Jake knew he was going to die, even as he futilely tried to protect his head, his face, because he felt something pop in his jaw and if he survived this, how was he supposed to eat if it broke? He's been mad before, but never this mad. And Jake, to this day, still doesn't really have an answer as to why he was so mad to begin with. He'll never ask, either. And while it was happening, he went to that place to survive. He went to the place where the pain is like a distant memory. Like it was happening to someone else.
He doesn't know which happened. Either he got so tired of beating on Jake that he had to go and rest, or Tommy came home, and he had used up enough of his rage at Jake to remember that he had one son that he could be proud of if he ever felt inclined. But he stopped at some point, before killing Jake, and when Jake finally came back into himself at Tommy's coaxing, he knew that they couldn't stay like that any longer.
Somehow, he survived - a slight of the greatest disrespect for the man that wished anything but survival on him - and that was the final straw for Tommy. Tommy who knew it could get bad, but never ever saw it get that bad before. Tommy who practically killed himself in school to get them this scholarship to Pandora in an exploratory program - now Jake knows it was for the school, but he didn't at the time.
And the only thing that man ever did for them - and perhaps the kindest thing that he would ever do for them - was seeing the value in getting them literally as far as humanly possible from him. A blessing for all of them.
Jake always thought that whatever obligation he felt for them would end with the stroke of midnight on their birthday, when Jake would certainly have all their meager Earthly possessions packed up and they would run for their lives as far as they could and never look back. Jake was ready to live on the streets, fighting for his life to provide some sort of life for Tommy - Jake had great dreams of Tommy going to a good school with his excellent grades, becoming whatever his heart desired and that they would live together for as long as Tommy could stomach having him around.
And he would be okay, even if Tommy left him on those streets. So long as Jake got him out of that house and away from that man, then he knew that Tommy would be safe. Despite Tommy being the pride of the Sully family, Jake knew that man would never go looking for Tommy. At the end of the day, no matter what miniscule bits of pride he would be able to find in Tommy, he would never love him enough because Tommy reminded him of Jake.
And no one could ever love Jake.
For all of his fluctuating emotions in regard to Tommy, that never changed for Jake. There were never any delusions. There was never any tip or trick to make it not so. Jake never has been good enough, and never would be.
But Tommy was too good to ever leave Jake. Despite the good chance that life could get easier - better - without Jake in it, Tommy never left him. Tommy might not ever fully understand why Jake can't sleep at night while they curled around one another, who why some men just triggered this stone-face silence - this overactive paranoia that Tommy has to feed into, or Jake might just have a panic attack - or the fact that pretty much everyone is the enemy. Tommy might never be able to fully grasp it, but he doesn't have to. Jake doesn't want him to.
Jake spent his entire life trying to protect Tommy from seeing too much. It's good if he doesn't know. If he doesn't understand. That means that Jake was able to protect Tommy. Even if only a little bit.
But Quaritch is a different beast. There is something about him that is achingly familiar in the terror it brings Jake. But there is also something else. Something that is bone chilling but unfamiliar.
Jake feels something. A tingle in the back of his neck that pulls him from his thoughts as he finally drags his eyes up to Quaritch, blue meeting a cold, icy blue. He's not sure what Quaritch was saying while Jake was lost to his thoughts, but thankfully it appears as though the man wasn't interested in hearing anything Jake might have wanted to say, if he had anything to say. But Quaritch just smiles that Cheshire smile once more, placing a large, heavy hand onto Jake's shoulder and giving it a squeeze that to any outsider looking in, it could look fatherly, even comforting.
But Jake feels the danger in it. The possession in it. He hasn't hurt Jake. Hasn't punched or kicked or thrown anything at him. Hasn't called him names or spit on him. He hasn't done the things that Jake's used to associating with danger. All that his sense can decipher is that he's in danger, but he can't see the normal signs presenting themselves in a way he's used to.
"We miss seeing you around," Quaritch says, that smile still on his scarred face. "Try not to be a stranger, alright Sully?"
Jake nods, having no idea who the 'we' was in this scenario, and he certainly wasn't going to ask. Quaritch brings the other hand up to squeeze both of Jake's shoulders at the same time before finally letting him go. He makes a grand swooping gesture with his hand to let Jake know that he was free to leave even as he was stepping to the side.
Jake stares at him for a long moment, in silence, before tipping his head a bit, wondering if it was better to salute or not, but Quaritch's smile still confused him. The older man made no corrections to him as Jake slowly made his way passed and towards the science wing, the sense of danger and unease following him all the way there.
"Why you not the school?"
Jake quietly picks apart his sandwich, disinterested. Tsu'tey has been trying to get a conversation out of him all lunch and Jake has barely uttered anything beyond one word replies. He's been stuck in his head, trying to understand what it was about Quaritch that was so off to him, but nothing was coming to mind. Coupled with the fact that he went to a pretty dark place remembering what happened to him in the few short months leading up to him and Tommy being accepted into the Avatar program for undesired kids, or whatever.
He shrugs his shoulders, sighing softly before placing his food on the container next to him, sealing it closed once more. He's not sure he understands what Tsu'tey is trying to ask him, but he doesn't try to elaborate or help the other boy in restructuring his question so that he would better understand.
Tsu'tey sighs softly, shoulders sinking a bit as he struggles to find something else to say. Carefully, he looks back at Jake, asking, "Is sad?"
Jake shakes his head, reaching up to pull down his hat a bit more, finding it has become a nervous habit of his, as he stares around the forest just outside the natural boundaries of the school. He can still see the school through the trees if he twists around on the stump that he and Tsu'tey are sitting on. "No," Jake mumbles. "I'm just thinking."
Tsu'tey perks up a bit at that. "What are you thinking about?"
That phrase is so crystal clear that Jake glances over at the taller boy, slightly surprised. It takes him a moment to realize it's something Grace says a lot. He's walked by the open windows of the classroom enough times to hear Grace asking the kids - and teens - what they are thinking about. Forcing them to put their thoughts into words so that she can better help them. Make them explore words they aren't sure of.
Jake stares at Tsu'tey, eyebrows pulling together under his hat as Tsu'tey stares back, blinking innocently.
A few baited moments of silence, Tsu'tey's tail, which was swaying behind him at his question, is now slowly and dipping back towards the rock. Jake turns away, bringing his shoes up to press against the rock, folding in on himself a bit. "I don't know. I'm just... thinking about things that are bothering me..."
Tsu'tey leans close, tail swaying slightly again as his ears flick. "What is this? What bother?"
Relieved a bit at not having to talk about specifics, Jake says, "When someone says something is bothering them, it just means that something doesn't sit right with them. They can't stop thinking about it."
"Can't stop thinking about it," Tsu'tey echoes, considering. His ears perk again, and he leans closer, peering under Jake's hat as much as he can with Jake staring down at the grass. "Jake, you bother me."
Jake freezes for a moment, immediately hurt by those words before forcing himself to calm down and glance over at the sly curl of the other boy's lips, the shining light in those... beautiful eyes. Not an ounce of anger or hate. Or even anything like displeasure or annoyance. So, Jake forces himself to take a breath and think about what Tsu'tey is probably trying to say with what Jake gave him.
And realizing it, made Jake huff a bit in a little laugh, shaking his head. "That's... not the way to say that you're thinking about me."
Tsu'tey looks elated, tail whooshing behind him as he stares at the slight curve to Jake's lips. "You bother me a lot."
Jake actually laughs at that, feeling it rip from his stomach in a single, thankfully quiet, huff as he brings a hand up to cover his mouth as he turns his back towards Tsu'tey, trying to get his emotions under control.
Jake had to wonder what Tommy was talking about when he said that Tsu'tey was intimidating, back in his room over a week ago. Tsu'tey has been anything but intimidating to Jake, and everything intimidates Jake. Well, maybe he was intimidated back when Jake was messing around with the Pa'li, but that was it. And his own fault, really. But Tsu'tey has been more curious and playful, then anything else.
Slowly, carefully, Jake turns back toward the native of this word, shifting his knee a bit so that the side of his leg can rest against the top of the rock, between him and Tsu'tey. The other boy follows suit, twisting so that he and Jake were looking at one another - as much as Jake can from under the bill of his hat.
"Why do you come out here every day, Tsu'tey?" Jake asks quietly.
Tsu'tey's head twists to the side a bit in confusion. He looks over his left shoulder a bit to stare at the school for a moment before looking back over at Jake. "I learn to school." He hesitates, considering, working through his wording again before saying, slower, "I go to learn at school. Grace's school."
Jake nods, rubbing the tips of his fingers together while his hands rest on the thigh he has perched on the rock, shivering a bit at the sensation similar to that feeling of his hands having fallen asleep, yet he knows it's just his malfunctioning avatar.
"I get the school part," Jake says, pulling Tsu'tey's eyes up from where he's watching Jake's fingers, to meet his own eyes. "I mean, why are you out here? With me?" He waves a hand between them and Tsu'tey watches the action, blinking slowly.
"Why..." Tsu'tey says slowly. "Why... be here? With you?"
Jake nods, resting his hands on his lap again. "Yeah..."
Tsu'tey chews on his full, bottom lip for a moment, trying to find the words. They seem to illude him as he struggles his way through, "I want to know, so I'm here."
Jake frowns at that. "Want to know what?"
Tsu'tey looks at him, a strange emotion flittering across his expression before he looks away, considering. He mumbles something in his song-like language, trying to use it to spark some inspiration, glancing over at Jake as if to check if he heard him, but even if he could fully make out the words, Jake doesn't know any of Tsu'tey's language. It is all nonsense to him. Beautiful, articulate nonsense. Like Tsu'tey is speaking in cursive.
Carefully, with a look of slight relief that Jake didn't react to whatever he said, Tsu'tey says, "You. I want to know you."
Jake turns away, a feeling building in his gut that he forces himself to ignore. He wants to know because Jake is strange to him, that's all. There is nothing more to it. Nothing to feel from it or read from it. Tsu'tey doesn't understand and so he wants to. This is all new for him. Jake and the other humans are strangers to their home, of course he would want to better understand these strangers. It all makes sense, without trying to derive any sort of additional meaning from it.
Tsu'tey slides from the rock, following Jake's eyes, landing his hands on his thighs to stop Jake from twisting away more, but the avatar has to flinch at the sudden shock running up and down his limbs. Tsu'tey pulls his hands back, looking at his palms, confused.
Jake, quietly, while moving to stand, says, "We should get back to the school. Lunch is almost over, and I have to get back to work."
Tsu'tey wilts. His ears lower and his tail dips a bit. He sighs, straightening up from his hunches. A split-second decision has him swipe for Jake's hat, which Jake ducks under, sliding over the rock and out of the way of those grabby hands. He grabs his uneaten lunch and starts heading back to the school, a dejected Tsu'tey following after.
Once they make it into the small clearing the school sits on, Jake can hear the faint sounds of the kids returning. He makes a gesture for Tsu'tey to go before heading to the storage room where the workers keep their stuff so he can put his food away, smiling the tiniest smile the entire way, hearing Tsu'tey's low grumbling fade as they get further apart from one another.
Jake sits in front of the computer, staring just over the image of his shoulder, trying to think of something to say. Max has been giving him big doe eyes for weeks, as if silently pleading for him to do better in his... journals? Reports? Whatever they are. All the other Avatar Drivers seem to be spending significantly more time on their videos than Jake is, excitedly talking about all sorts of things, but Jake really doesn't know what to say. He mostly does the same things over and over again with little to no deviation.
Goblin brain kind of likes the repetition. It's better than not knowing what could happen next.
Jake spent a lot of time back on Earth fearing what the next moment would hold for it. So, it was nice to have something constant.
Jake hits play and the red light on the screen starts to blink, and Jake has no idea what he's going to say. He just sits there in silence for a full ten seconds, trying to think of something. Finally, he says, "Construction on the school is, um, going good. It shouldn't be more than maybe a month or two before it's all done, I guess. Foreman says we're right on schedule. And he would know all about that. It's his job."
Jake could honestly punch himself in the face. What in the world is he talking about?
"It's um, getting easier to be an avatar driver," Jake decides, rubbing at his forehead. "I'm still getting used to the tail, but being blue doesn't bother me so much anymore. I guess you don't really notice it if you're not paying attention."
What... is he talking about?
"I like helping at the school?" Jake offers, making it sound more like a question than anything. Jake sighs, looking down at his lap. "It's peaceful and quiet out there. I, uh, never realized what a forest sounds like. There wasn't any around where I lived. I like to wander during my breaks. I like to patrol and just listen to the sounds of the forest. I know we are on a literal different planet, but it's... otherworldly. Something like a forest, and it's nothing like I ever thought it would be."
Jake licks his lips a bit, wetting them as he stares at his fingers, resting on his lap. "I wonder how forests were on Earth. I wonder if they were as... special as they are here on Pandora. I guess I never stopped to wonder before." He shrugs his shoulders, as if he was in a conversation with someone and not literally talking to himself. "I know that the scientists here want me to talk more about my experiences and stuff, but I'm not sure what to say. Everything is fine. Nothing to report."
He reaches up, rubbing tiredly at his face as he finally looks up at the camera to see the time marked at just over three minutes. Longer than his usual ones. That's going to have to do.
"That's all for now," Jake says, leaning forward. "Jake Sully, signing off."
He ends the video and saves it to his folder, ignoring all the timestamps of thirty to forty seconds. A few that are a minute and a half. And one, the day Jake met Tsu'tey, that was stamped at almost three minutes. Most of which was just of Jake staring vacantly at the desk, trying to come to terms with his new perceived reality. He thought that his world was about to fall apart, and he was trying to make sense of how he was going to survive it.
Nothing happened, of course. And Max, proving that he was watching, asked him the next time they saw each other, if he had been alright. No doubt three minutes of someone staring horrified at a camera would be enough to spur anyone into wondering. But it all turned out to be fine.
Jake never spoke of Tsu'tey because he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want anyone to yell at him for talking to the Na'vi, even though he's not seeking Tsu'tey out at all. But he'll probably do something wrong and screw this all up, but thankfully, Tsu'tey seems like a decent guy. Once he gets bored of Jake, then hopefully everything will return to normal.
Jake doesn't let himself feel anything, especially this ache in his chest at the thought of everything going back to normal.
When Tommy needs him, Jake doesn't usually think. A lot of people have said that thinking wasn't Jake's strong suit to begin with - which he supposed was fair. But Tommy is a different story. Tommy, more often than not, doesn't need Jake. In the sense that Tommy doesn't usually get into situations that Jake has any level of skin in getting him out of it. Most of the time, Tommy is charming enough to talk himself out of pretty much anything. Most people just can't help but like him.
But it doesn't always get to that point before Jake feels compelled to intervene.
In most situations, Jake has the normal three typical responses: fight, flight, or freeze. And he uses the latter two a lot more than he uses the foremost one.
Except for when it comes to Tommy.
When Tommy needs him, it's always fight. Even if it means standing there and taking all the blows that weren't meant for him. But whenever Tommy needed him, he was there. And he just rounded the corner, heading back to the school from his patrol, in time to see Tommy hit the ground hard. He lays flat, gasping for air that escapes his lungs from the blow.
Three male Na'vi, their own Pa'li a few feet behind them, and the four from Tsu'tey and his fellows, moseying from beyond even that, coming to see what the commotion was, stand and jeer at Jake's little brother.
A little Na'vi girl, about as tall as a human man, stomps her little foot and snaps something at the hunter, waggling her finger. Tommy rubs at his chest, heaving a bit as he slowly starts to push himself up into a sit.
In the corner of his eye, Jake can see commotion coming from inside the school. Someone must have seen what happened and were coming to investigate. If Jake was smart, he would have waited for Grace or someone else who knew what they were doing to come out here and handle this situation properly. Ensure that whatever is happening right now doesn't devolve into something dangerous.
If Jake was smart, he would let calm minds prevail.
But as many people have said before, Jake is not smart. And this is Tommy. People can beat and wail on him all they want, and he'll just stand by and take it. But the moment someone puts their hands on Tommy, all bets are off.
Jake isn't inherently violent. His first reaction truly is rarely to fight. But since Quaritch cornered him in the hall three days ago, and he hasn't been able to sleep a wink since, mind racing the entire night, Jake's about on the edge of a mental break. He's been considering going back to the medical wing and begging them to give him enough sleeping pills that he never wakes up from them. He's perpetually exhausted, both bodies now, and mentally fatigued. He has no idea what's going on with Quaritch, Tommy is too busy for him, Tsu'tey is just this massive unknown and Jake...
Jake is just... exhausted.
So, when he sees Tommy go down, sees him struggle to sit up, even sees the little girl chastising the older boys, hands on little hips, and sees Tsu'tey and two of the three older girls bust out of the front door, Grace a second behind them, everyone talking at once - Jake sees red.
He has enough wherewithal to push his gun behind himself, after clicking on the safety - he's not here to kill anyone - he makes for the Na'vi in the front, the one that pushed Tommy. Thankfully, he's distracted by whatever he was yelling back at Tsu'tey, who usually curious face is twisted into a look of anger. The younger Na'vi teen is spiting fire, her tail lashing in anger as she stomps over while the older one is trying to calm everyone down.
But Jake doesn't care about any of that. He only cares about Tommy.
The male doesn't seem to notice Jake until he's right in front of him, grabbing his shoulder and pulling him down hard enough to bring his knee up to his stomach and as he's stumbling back, Jake goes for a solid right hook straight to the jaw. Unprepared, the first one stumbles back before falling over, gasping for air and holding onto his sore jaw.
The second one, blinks in confusion before snarling something in their song-tongue before charging. Jake brings up his hands, carefully redirection the first one, using his own weight and speed to push him over, until he hits the dirt, bewildered, while the last one, who also charged a half second later, gets another solid punch straight to the jaw, making him stumble off to the side. When the second one climbs to his feet, Jake has enough time to elbow him in the gut before all three are down.
Jake's hand is throbbing, and he can barely hear the three young men groaning and pulling themselves back to their feet around him over the sound of his beating heart and roaring blood. He stands there, barely breathing, as if that would take up too much of his focus, of his energy, as he looks around at the three fallen foes. They are glaring at him, spitting insults in their pretty tongue, that still sounds beautiful despite it.
And then, he hears, like at the edge of sound, a distant, soft, "Jake. I'm okay."
Jake sucks in a slow, deep breath as he feels a hand on his shoulder. Tommy circles him, the golden eyes of his avatar bright and wide. He grips Jake's arms and studies his expression.
"Are you okay?" Tommy asks softly.
"They didn't hit me," Jake mumbles, pulling back into himself from wherever that dark, red place his mind went to. He tries to peer past the instant rage that washed over him and focus on the mutated face of his brother.
Tommy frowns, squeezing Jake's arms. "That's not what I meant. I... You didn't have to do that. It was... It was fine."
Jake doesn't respond, just stares at his younger brother. All the energy that he had in him from a second ago is gone, which doesn't bode well for them if those three Na'vi still want to fight. Jake turns, pulling from Tommy's grip, to survey the possibility of them wanting to get even, maybe even search for a clear escape route when he comes face to face with a wide-eyed, bewildered Tsu'tey, the three women, including Grace, a few steps behind him, all staring at Jake as if he just ripped his own face off and reveals he was nothing more than murder of crows underneath.
Jake blinks once, twice, three times, wondering if this was it. If Tsu'tey had finally found the reason that he needed to drop Jake like a hot potato. To see him for what he was and want nothing more to do with him. To hate him just like everyone else does. Everyone but Tommy.
Jake feels a pa'li come up beside him, huffing happily as it nuzzles the side of his head, making Jake glance at it for a moment, wondering what the chances are that this was the same one from earlier, but he didn't have time to think too much about it when he looked back at Tsu'tey and saw those golden eyes taking him in, locked right onto Jake's own eyes.
Jake blinks once, mind homing in on something and it takes him a second to realize that his hat is on the ground about a foot away from the second Na'vi as he struggles to his feet. He must have knocked it off of Jake's head when Jake ducked out of the way. The two older girls, the little girl and now all three of the male Na'vi are gathering around, going from glaring at Jake to just staring. Blinking, mouths agape, as they look between Jake and Tommy, back and forth.
So, the jig is up. No more hiding or pretending. Now Tsu'tey will understand why Jake didn't want him to know. What he had been spending the last week and a half hiding from him. The one thing he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried. Not forever, at least. And now Tsu'tey could see his face. They all could.
And they could see he looked just like Tommy.