Author's Note: Hello my loves, sorry about the wait! I know that this fandom is dying out again and I trying my hardest to hold on for dear life. I love this story and I'm so happy to hear that others are too. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support even though it's getting harder out there for all of us, lol. It is so nice and motivating to hear from all of you so thank you for taking the time! I know I'm updating out of order, but I actually have a few chapters already mostly done for a few stories and this happened to have been the one with the most inspiration. Unfortunately for our baby boy, Jake, things are going to get harder before they get easier. Let me know if you're still out there and what you think! Enjoy!
Jake curls up into a ball, enjoying the warmth and safety washing over him. He can feel hands touching him, can hear voices reaching out to him, but it all fades away as he sinks deeper into the comfort. This feeling that wraps around him, dragging him under the surface. The voices and feelings of hands on his body fade further and further away until he is in nothing but blissful silence. And just like that, he is back in that safe place. Back where pain can't get to him. Where even sensation is beyond him.
His body is gone, so it can't be hurt. Here he is safe and whatever happens out there is for him to deal with later, when it's safer. All the pain, all the fear, it all fades away into blissful blackness. Time flows differently here. Mere moments could be hours outside, and that's what he wants. He wants the time to quickly pass him by. He wants to come to this place and when he finally leaves it, it will be to take his final breath.
But he'll never tell the only person he would ever talk to about this. He knows that Tommy would never forgive him for his thoughts. Or, that's what he thinks, at least. He's not completely sure what Tommy would say. What he would do if he heard. He's too scared of the answer to ever hope to find out.
Amidst this maelstrom of thoughts, he can feel a special bit of warmth wash over him. Something searing hot yet comforting. He recognizes it. He would know it anywhere.
She runs a hand down his back, her words like music to his ears despite him not being able to understand her. Even though she's there with him, it's like the music of her voice comes across a great distance, closer now than it has ever been. But it's always magical, always something that literally sings to his very soul. Words sculped only for his ears to hear. It makes him feel special - if only a little bit. It makes him feel like he's more than what everyone says that he is, that he has long known that he is.
Despite the stabbing pain in his heart at his thoughts, she wraps around him more, caressing not just the figmented body that follows him into this place, but sooths the strands of his mind that hold the pieces of him together. And she coos lovingly, her words more like feelings than words. He feels her pull at his hand, pulling him up onto his feet.
He opens his eyes and he's standing in the forest. To one side, Jake can see a field where pa'li are grazing, not paying him any mind, yet their presence offers him a sense of peace and on the other side, he can see children running through the trees. A small human boy and three Na'vi children chasing after.
Jake listens as they run through the trees, their laughter like a gentle song, making it hard to breathe. He takes a moment, rubbing hard at his chest before carefully following the children deeper into the forest. Something calling to him. Despite the tightness to his chest, he's not scared. He doesn't have to be scared here. This is the place where he's safe. Where things can't hurt him. Where the only danger to him here is himself.
He can feel her following, just a step behind him - always just a step behind- and offering patience, love, and comfort with her presence alone. He doesn't turn to look at her. He knows that she's there even without looking. She's always here in the place that doesn't hurt. The place where he's safe.
He follows the children at a distance, their laughter guiding him. They are hazy, as if he's looking at them through a dream. As they go a hazy after-image follows after them, obscuring their features, blurring out obvious smiles and glowing eyes. The light around them casts halos across the three black haired Na'vi children and the single blond-haired human.
They were all young. Jake is no expert on children, especially the Na'vi, but if they are around the same age as the human boy, probably around four or five. They push and pull on one another, disappearing between tree trunks, but Jake somehow still knows that they are there.
He follows, unable to close the gap between himself and the kids but he also doesn't want to. He doesn't want to taint them with the darkness that has a death grip on his heart, on his feelings. But he also just wants to give them space to play. He wants to watch quietly as they enjoy the beauty of the world around them. Here it is peaceful. Here it is safe.
Jake makes his way into an open field with a small pond off to the side. Clear and sparkling, perfect in a dreamscape. The kids play around in the water, splashing and laughing with joy, their voices slightly distorted, but Jake doesn't mind. He just lowers onto the grass, laying on his back and looking up at the sky.
Puffy white clouds gently float by, and Jake enjoys the peace. The tightness in his chest is finally lightening up enough that he can finally take a deep breath, fill his lungs. The air is clear and pure. Something as simple as taking in a lung full of air and yet it feels like he hasn't been able to do in a long time.
He feels that presence again, the one that is always there, even when he can't feel it. Warm, comforting, safe. It wraps around him like a quilt. It draws forth a feeling from someone he doesn't remember.
"I'm not ready to go back," he says to nothing, but he knows that it's listening. "Can't I stay here forever?"
The light breeze caresses him like a gentle hand down the arm. "I'm sorry," the disembodied voice says, but not with words, but a feeling that he gets but can't explain.
Jake doesn't fight. He doesn't have the strength. He just quietly accepts that his joy won't last as he rolls onto his side and closes his eyes, listening to the distant sound of children laughing, and a sad warmth washing over him.
Like the comforting hug from a mother.
Jake opens his eyes and immediately knows that something is wrong. His body feels... horrible. Its buzzing and heavy. His bleary eyes take in the darkness around him, confused. His throat is dry and when swallows there is a stabbing sensation. A shock runs down his fingers when he tries to move them and he groans in pain, headache tearing away at all corners of his brain, as if to punish him.
There is moss along the walls that are glowing, offering a faint light to help him see. There is a greater light beyond the room he's in. At least it appears like that from what he can see through the thin walls of the room. And, oddly enough, the room seems to be made up of sticks - no it's like an alcove built into a tree, hollowed out enough for a room. It takes a second of blearily blinking his eyes to try and make sense of what he's seeing.
Jake coughs lightly, looking around the empty room. His throat aches more at every swallow but he tries to ignore it. He sits up slowly, rubbing at his aching head. He pulls his hand back to see glowing freckles on his arm and he jolts, heart leaping up into his throat.
Is he still in his avatar body, right now?
Jake looks down at his long, blue hands, panting, disoriented. He reaches up to scrub at his eyes, then run a hand over his hair, long strands dangling around his face, running his fingers along the long braid down his back. He looks around the space, noting that it has to be some sort of... like sick space. Like a school nurse's office or something. There are blankets piled up on the floor and baskets full of leaves and flowers and pungent smelling ointments.
Jake climbs to his feet, feeling dizzy and disoriented, swaying a bit with his hand on his head. What happened? Where is he? How come he remembers blacking out, yet he's still in his avatar body? Where is Tommy? He has to find Tommy.
Stumbling around, he manages to get to the exit without throwing up when a wave of nausea hits him, his head spinning. He pauses, leaning against the wood framing the entrance of the alcove as he rubs at his forehead. Everything is tilting back and forth making him feel sick. He stumbles out of the little medical alcove, turning to his right he can see a massive opening and the forest beyond. The sky has darkened, making the local fauna light up in the weird, but beautiful way that Pandora just... is. And to his left, a massive fire with a bunch of Na'vi sitting around it, deeper into the massive structure that they are in. Jake looks up, seeing a spiral walkway leading up, seemingly infinitely so.
Are they... in a tree?
Big mistake. Jake drops his hands onto his knees, feeling sick. It takes a few moments for the heartbeat in his throat to finally settle enough for him to straighten up and limp towards the exit. Something is wrong. His body feels horrendous. Tingling and weighed down like he's carrying lead on his shoulders and off each of his limbs aside, there is something that just isn't right. Never mind the fact that when he passed out, shouldn't he have woken up back at base where his real body is?
That not happening has to have been a really bad thing.
But he can't worry about that right now. He has to find Tommy. There is no guarantee that if he tries to fall asleep now that he will be able to get back to his real body. He probably could have at least tried it, but his mind is too frazzled, too keyed up in fear. He has to find Tommy. It's dark out now, lighting up the forest in front of him with the local fauna's own natural bioluminescence so at least he won't be traveling in the dark. At least, pitch blackness, like he would have back on Earth had this sort of lush forest still existed. Jake hasn't really ever been able to sit around and admire it before. He almost always piloted his avatar during the day and was inside the compound whenever he was doing so at night.
Just for the bit that he can see off in the distance... it's beautiful.
Jake didn't realize how far he traveled until a voice stops him. Flanking the entrance was two Na'vi standing guard, armed with bows strapped with arrows. Jake vaguely remembers learning about the Omatikaya's weapon of choice is typically the bow, but they and other clans implement lots of different weapons like spears and knives among other things.
They both turn to look at him, jolting in surprise. They both start speaking in their language, one reaching for his knife hanging off of the band of his loincloth while the other holds out his hands at his side. The latter of the two says something commanding to the other, nodding toward where Jake came from. The former hesitates for a moment before carefully slipping passed Jake and back into the space behind him. Back into the tree.
Right. Right. The Omatikaya live in a giant tree, he remembers. Hometree, if he recalls.
Jake spares the remaining Omatikayan warrior a glance before moving forward toward the forest. He's not sure where exactly that he is, but he has to get back to the school, he'll be able to find his way back to the facility from there. He's flown back and forth enough times that he's sure that he can find his way, he just needs to get back to the school first. He just... can't remember why he's here.
He knows that he is with the Omatikaya. He remembers being at the school... he remembers the fight. Then... then he was brought here with Tommy and Grace. Because of... the fight? Yes, Jake fought some of the hunters that came to harass his brother. Then they were brought to the Omatikaya for some reason. He just... doesn't know why. But he can't stay here, he has to go. He has to find Tommy. He has to make sure that Tommy was okay. He doesn't remember what happened after a dozen of those floating bulbus things descended around him.
Did he pass out? But isn't that sort of the same as falling asleep? He really should have been sent back to his real body, right? So why wasn't he?
The Omatikaya man follows after, saying something that Jake still doesn't know. Jake doesn't really care what the man behind him is saying. If he had to guess, it would probably be to leave. Jake vaguely remembers hearing scientists and even some of the workers around the school mention that the Na'vi don't like humans all that much, or at all. The Omatikaya are special in the sense that they are at least willing to be amicable. Most Na'vi clans simply attack at the sight of humans.
Jake, of course, doesn't really know this for sure, having barely even seen the Omatikaya clan members, but he has to figure that there is some grain of truth.
Jake doesn't know how they feel about avatars, but he's pretty sure he's going to be doing them a favor. He has to go back. Tommy... Tommy needs him. Jake needs to make sure that he's okay.
A wave of nausea washes over Jake, making his knees shake and his stomach clench. The world teeters dizzyingly. Jake barely feels himself fall to his hands and knees. His head dangles between his shoulders as he tries to catch his breath, head spinning. The male Omatikaya's voice stops next to him but thankfully doesn't touch him. Jake's not sure how long he holds himself like that before something wet presses into his hair. The spark of annoyance and sensitivity that washes over him at the feeling is immediately stomped out when he lifts his head a bit to see a pa'li. It sniffles loudly, nudging at his head a bit, letting out a little whinny.
Jake slowly lowers onto his hip, swallowing the saliva filling his mouth, willing the pounding in his throat to calm down. He's not going to throw up out here.
Behind the pa'li, there are... at least dozens more of them gathered around in the space between the giant tree - Hometree - and the encircling trees. Jake can see pens in the darkness to offer the pa'li somewhere safe to hide in, probably from predators or the weather, but otherwise appear to have full reign. He doesn't see any fencing, or wires, at least not in this darkness, that would force the pa'li to stay in a specific space.
The pa'li groans but manages to drop down onto its stomach. It chuffs, shaking its head before leaning forward to nudge at Jake. The avatar leans into the massive head of the beast, easily finding comfort in it being there. He doesn't even care about the bite of sensation on his arm from the nudge. It feels like the pa'li knows he's in pain and is just trying to offer comfort in the only way it knows how. Honestly, this has got to be the same pa'li, right? He's not sure how he knows, he just does. It's got to be the same one. It's just... so comfortable with him.
The pa'li rumbles, pleased with Jake pressing into it.
Tommy, he has to find Tommy... he has to... in just a moment. He just needs a single moment...
Someone lowers to his side. Jake turns his face from where it's pressed against the pa'li's forehead slightly to look over at the ornately dressed woman, as she looks between the pa'li and Jake, golden eyes sharp and wise. Jake stares at her for a long moment, barely remembering her through the mess that happened... whenever it did. It was daytime when they were brought to the Omatikaya, and he can see the stars twinkling above, so it's been a few hours since then, at least. And while his memory of his very brief time here is hazy, he's pretty sure she was standing next to an ornately dressed man and... well, that's it.
She says something and Jake turns his face back into the pa'li's. It rumbles happily, pushing back against him, harder than the avatar would have liked. Jake tries not to crack his teeth at the sensation zipping through his body.
"I want Tommy," Jake says to the woman, throat aching, but continues to press into the pa'li despite the feeling being tingling sensation being strong enough to actually make him want to throw up. "I need to make sure he's okay. Let me go to him."
There is a long moment of the woman's heavy gaze on the side of his head, and a silence that feels like it stretches on forever. Jake's amazed that it feels like a ton of bricks. But now he can't even look at her, too intimidated, and too exhausted. This rest did nothing great for him. He feels just as shitty now has he did before. No, maybe he feels worse.
Jake presses closer to the pa'li, eyes slipping closed for a split second before opening up at the crystal clear, "Okay." Jake, immediately forgetting that he was too intimidated to look at her, does, eyes blown wide. The woman, eyes still sharp and focused, nods slowly. "Go. See to Tommy. Then return." Her English is... pristine. Jake doesn't miss her fragmented sentences but can't even be bothered by that. Tsu'tey's going to school, pretty regularly, and his English is still pretty broken. But she must be learning regularly too, because despite her heavy accent, her words are nearly perfect.
Pride cuts a smile across her face for a moment, recognizing Jake's blatant awe before it straightens out once more.
"You can... understand me..?" Jake asks slowly, turning from the pa'li a bit.
The woman tilts her head slightly, considering before saying, definitively, "Yes. I learned. Or am still learning."
Jake can both believe that, and not believe that. She must have been practicing for a long time, but Grace's school just started not all that long ago. Then again, they had to learn how to communicate with each other somehow. Grace must have taught her or something, Jake has no idea. But he is definitely impressed.
Turning more towards the woman, he feels the pa'li lean into his back a bit, chuffing and nibbling at his tail with its blunt teeth, making Jake hiss in pain at the sensation and yank his tail onto his lap. There is a few other Omatikaya, including Slywanin, that are gathered around behind the woman, watching silently. Her hands kneading together at her stomach. The pa'li chuffs again, sniffing Jake's side. Even the gentle sensation of its nose pulling at his shirt is enough to set Jake's skin ablaze, making him feel sick all over again.
Jake gives it a glance, forcing the feeling away as best he can before looking back towards the woman but no longer able to make eye contact once more, his amazement losing out to his normally more timid attitude and quieter nature.
"Rest now," the woman says, her voice soft, yet somehow spoken like a command. "Great Mother still needs time to heal what is broken."
Jake doesn't ask what she means by that, figuring that he wouldn't understand anyway. Besides, he's wasted enough time. He needs to check on Tommy. He just... needs to make sure that he's okay. Then he can deal with all this other crap... or maybe it'll just not matter at that point, who knows?
Tsu'tey appears, pushing past the gathered Na'vi, golden eyes wide. A look flickers across his face; worry, relief, fear. His lips part, quietly, or maybe it's hard to hear through Jake's pounding headache, but it sounds like he says Jake's name. He lowers down onto his hunches, edging closer to reach out for him.
The woman's hand waves in front of Jake's face and suddenly, Jake feels exhausted. Well, he always feels exhausted, but this was like being overrun by the feeling. Like it all slammed into him at once. Heavier, more potent than before. It makes him forget about the settling in his churning stomach, as the feeling of having to throw up is finally passing, while his eyes droop.
The pa'li lets out a final chuff, as if to assure him that he had a guardian looking out for him, as the woman vanished behind Jake's eyelids. There is bright, flashing starburst of light and Jake exits his avatar body.
Jake states at the top of his pod back at the facility in a daze. He blinks slowly, feeling like he had to pull all the pieces of himself together. He feels broken apart. He wiggles his limbs, knowing - sort of - that they were all there. That he didn't somehow lose them while he was in a pod back at Hell's Gate. But he can't help this strange feeling that has washed over him. It leaves his mind fuzzier than he was while he was still in his avatar. He has no idea how long he was laying there, just... trying to remember how to be a person.
He has always felt a little strange between every jump back and forth from his avatar and his real body, but this time was different. In all fairness, this time was a lot different than any of the other times.
But this time, he feels like... like he might have lost something. Like in this transfer, something... happened. A part of him didn't come back. It was a strange, alarming sensation, yet he couldn't bring himself to react. He just laid there in the pod for... who knows how long. Trying to process. Trying to just... come back to life. He doesn't even feel like a person right now. He feels like a husk.
Eventually, though, a lot of noise erupted from around him and the machine turned off, pulling up the lid to his pod and there was Max and a few other scientists all gathered around. They are talking at once, reaching out and grabbing at him, much to his chagrin. He has enough people touching him to last a lifetime. They pull him from the pod and transfer him to a medical gurney and start wheeling him from the room.
Jake stares up at the ceiling as they go from room to room. The scanners above main doors go off, detecting medical anomalies. Jake's eyes watch the flashing lights. Look to Max as he says something to a tech, who sprints off, then back to the ceiling.
Dazedly, Jake can hear someone calling for Tommy. Over and over and over again. A hand settled on his shoulder, he looks, following it up the arm, expecting his younger brother, but sees Max instead. His brows are furrowed, concern obvious on his face. His lips part but whatever he said is drowned out by the buzzing in his ears and someone continuously asking for Tommy.
They make it to the medical center that Jake has been to plenty of times. Mostly to see Tommy when he wasn't feeling well back when they first came to Pandora, but once or twice for himself. So, his brain is familiar with it enough to make note that he was there but nothing else beyond the bright lights and muffled voices at the edge of hearing. That feeling of not being completely present is still hounding him. He thought it was bad in his avatar form, but this is so much worse. He's not sure which body he's starting to hate more.
Jake blinks and he's lying on a bed. Somone is sticking something in his arm. Someone else is talking to him but he can't hear them. It's too loud. Too much is happening. His head is too full of cotton.
Jake blinks again and someone is placing something on his exposed chest. He knows because he sees it.
Another blink. Tommy is there, holding his hand, eyes wide and wild. He looks exhausted. He sees Tommy bring his hand to his forehead, pressing against it. He swallows, locking eyes with Jake, rushing forward, lips parting -
Blink. Tommy is standing at the edge of his bed, talking to Grace and a man in a lab coat that Jake doesn't immediately recognize. His brother is rubbing at his forehead, shifting his weight from one hip to the next. Grace, brows furrowed, rubs his shoulder. They both stare at the man in the lab coat as he says something. Something that makes Tommy run his hands through his hair, exasperatedly.
Another blink. He's staring at his hand laying on the thin white sheet next to his hip, wondering what was wrong with it. Looking past the wires and tubes in his arm to his fingers. He watches as they rub against each other. He's not sure how long he watched his fingers rub across one another before a tear slides from the corner of Jake's eye into his hairline. With a small, shaky breath, he closes his eyes.
He comes to realizing he's staring at Grace, who is waving her hand around slowly. Tommy is by his left side, holding his hand while Quaritch is sitting languidly in the chair on his other side. Arms crossed over his chest and legs at the ankles. He looks like a king, perched on a throne. Something stabs at the back of Jake's mind, but he doesn't know what it is.
It takes Jake a moment to realize that Grace wasn't looking at him, but at Quaritch. Tommy, carefully and quietly, looking between them, just as Jake would have done. Watch, listen, wait. Assess to see if there is any danger.
"...don't know what to tell you, Augustine," Quaritch says easily, staring at her with icy blue eyes. "Jake Sully is part of my department too. Don't tell me you forgot."
"I didn't forget," Grace snaps, teeth flashing. "But I will give you an update once we have one. For now, he's resting."
"He's been resting for a few days now, Doctor," Quaritch says, voice even, like he's speaking about the weather. "At what point should I be concerned for my man?"
Tommy blinks slowly while Grace frowns at Quaritch's words. Grace's face twists a bit, as she wars with herself while Tommy rubs at his forehead, gripping Jake's hand, hard by the look at his knuckles.
"The doctor said that he suffered a complex seizure for a solid three minutes," Tommy says, looking at Quaritch with narrowed eyes. He did? When did that happen?
"And no one thought to pull him from the pod?" Quaritch asks, turning ice blue eyes to the younger Sully twin.
Tommy's lips press together tightly. "He... he passed out, he should have reawakened back in his real body but... but the seizure... it..." he swallows thickly. His own blue eyes glistening a bit as he looks down at Jake's hand.
"He should have been pulled back to his real body," Grace steps in, glaring at Quaritch, "but the seizure intercepted the transfer and his mind bounced back and forth between both bodies until it subsided. And unfortunately, he remained in his avatar body when it was over, and he remained there for over thirty hours, way beyond the regulation link protocol."
Quaritch purses his lips, a flash of anger crossing his face, but it's quickly schooled into an even expression. "So, your machine scrambled his brains, is what you're saying."
Tommy jolts, face stricken, which draws Quaritch's eyes back to him when something else seems to catch his attention, and he looks down at Jake. Jake follows his eyes and looks down at his right hand, seeing his fingers rub against one another. Quaritch looks at Jake's face, blinking in surprised before a smile curves across his lips. Tommy also follows his eyes, jolting forward when he sees Jake glance over at him.
"Jake! Thank god! Can you hear me?"
Jake swallows, throat hurting fiercely. He's not sure he can speak without croaking. So, he just nods instead.
Grace sits down by Jake's feet while Tommy lets out a sigh of relief.
"Jake, can you tell us what happened?" Grace asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Jake shakes his head. He has no idea what happened. Grace frowns at that, sighing and rubbing at her forehead. "We are going to have to run tests to make sure that you're alright."
"Okay," Jake rasps, making Tommy flinch.
"I'll go get you some water, okay?" Tommy stands, casting Jake a look before heading to the door. He pauses, looking back over at Jake with shame written all over his face, before he turns and leaves through it.
Jake is reluctant to let him go but doesn't have the strength to stop him. So long as he's okay. It was all that Jake really wanted. He needed to make sure that Tommy was okay. And it seems like he is, just a little tired. Which he can understand, if Jake was trapped in his avatar body for thirty... wow, for thirty hours on top of the six or so that he already was leading up to the fight, well then, it's no surprise that he feels like absolute garbage.
Jake watches Tommy go, frowning.
"I'll go speak with the doctor," Grace says, standing up, her expression tense. "While we still have you conscious and alert, we should try and run some tests." Jake doesn't argue, not even sure anyone would listen to him even if he did, so he just quietly watches as she too leaves the room, but not without sending the man beside Jake a withering look to which he ignores, before she disappears past the threshold and out of Jake's sight.
Quaritch is staring at him, Jake can feel it on his skin. A tingling sensation that sets him on edge. Jake glances over at him to see the older man staring at his hand, head tilted slightly. Jake forces his hand to stop and looks away, feeling a lump form in his throat.
"Are you alright, son?" Quaritch asks slowly, catching Jake off guard. He doesn't dare look at the man, and just stares forward, willing Tommy to come back.
Jake nods, swallowing hard enough to hurt his throat.
"You've... well, you entered the link at 9:12am three days ago." Jake blinks slowly, wanting to look over at the man, but can't. His head hurts. He's starting to feel overwhelmed again, so he sucks in a few slow, deep breaths to try and calm himself as Quaritch continues, leaning in close in Jake's peripheral, "The good doctor, your brother and you were reported to have departed the school at approximately 3:27pm that same day to go to the Na'vi Hometree. With the Direhorse's average running speed, it would have taken you somewhere between 37 to 42 minutes to get there. Doctor Augustine reported in about your condition at 4:43pm. Doctor Patel reported your return of consciousness in the pod back here at 2:35am this morning."
Jake's mind is spinning, trying to get this timeline in his head. All the numbers, all the calculations, Jake's brain is too frazzled to comprehend it. All Jake got from that was that he was gone for a very long time. But it's not adding up to him. It still feels like Jake has lost some time. It didn't take him a really long time to travel form that medical alcove, to the outside of Hometree and have that conversation with the woman. What happened in all that time? Was he simply sleeping? Lord knows his body - both of them - needed it, but he doesn't feel any better. Something is wrong. Something isn't adding up to him.
"They have protocols put in place because the link can be dangerous," Quaritch continues, pulling Jake from his thoughts. Jake blinks a few times, reaching up with his hands to rub at his face, trying to feel something. "Prolonged continuous link time can seriously affect your brain chemistry. Can make your mind all... befuddled. Confused even. Make what you think you know, not so clear. Can even affect your body... make things happen that you don't even realize is happening."
Jake feels a strike of fear lance at his chest, catching his breath. Jake, slowly, and carefully, pulls his hands away to look at Quaritch, body tensing in terror. Quaritch is sitting on the bed, Jake's not sure when he moved there, but the covers were pushed off his right leg and Quaritch had his hand resting on Jake's shin. Jake feels his chin tremble slightly, but he doesn't say anything, just stares at Quaritch, who stares back at him.
"Wiggle your toes, Jake," Quaritch commands, voice even, blue eyes focused.
Jake does, looking past the man to see his toes move. He looks back at Quaritch, mutely, as the man glances over at the wiggling digits, before looking back at Jake, contemplating something. Jake feels a tremble shake his body as he stares down at the man sitting by his hip. After a beat or so, Quaritch finally, carefully, asks, "You can't feel my hand on your leg, can you?"