Chapter 7

"Sorry I made you bail from the whole Chaos demon thing." Connor said to his father about an hour later. The girls had gone up to the counter to place their orders first, while the guys held the table. "I just figured, like, from what I've heard Will was liable to get emotional, and you guys tend to push one another's buttons. Neither of you needs that right now. I'm sure you're probably wondering how she was doing before she died, since you were Drusilla's sire, I get that. But you can ask Will once he's calmed down. Like, tomorrow afternoon or something."

Liam wished desperately he had something to do with his hands. "Who told you about Drusilla?" He asked, not even sure what he was really looking to learn. Who told his son he'd turned someone? Who was gossiping about who Dru dated after she and Spike split up?

Connor shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "Umm, I'm honestly not sure. Maybe Holtz? I definitely had heard Drusilla's name before Buffy was here. It's somewhere in the blurry memories." He cleared his throat. "So, yeah, I already knew that you turned Drusilla before Buffy talked about her."

Liam winced. He'd definitely heard the phrase 'crazy ho-bag' from Buffy more than once in reference to Drusilla, and that was before she and Spike…Whatever they were doing. He didn't have any illusions she'd been polite in front of Connor. "I don't imagine she said anything good," he muttered, almost against his will. It felt disloyal to think of Buffy as jealous or petty, but he couldn't deny that he'd seen flashes of both from her in Sunnydale.

Connor looked like he was trying to figure out if Liam was serious or not. "Well, I mean it was obvious they weren't friends, but it wasn't like Buffy insulted her or anything. For a woman whose purpose in life is to kill vampires, she can be surprisingly chill about…You know, vampires. I still don't get the whole dating the undead thing." Connor looked faintly ill. "I mean, no offense, but I don't see any way an animated corpse is a thing you want to touch, you know?"

Liam smiled. "It's different from my point of view, I think. Touching vampires is pretty normal when you're also undead."

Connor shook his head. "Yeah, I guess it'd have to be. Anyway, Buffy wasn't saying anything awful, just Drusilla's name came up in conversation, then when I asked she answered some of my questions. So, I know you turned Drusilla, that you cared about her, that you briefly got together while Will was injured once before, and that after they split up for good she dated other demon species. Also, that she wasn't mentally stable, and that she saw the future or something."

Liam was surprised Buffy had managed to give Connor such an incredibly sanitized version of Drusilla's history, then wondered if she had actually not bothered and Connor was cleaning it up for his sake. He did remember Connor using the phrase 'Drusilla's menagerie' earlier, which definitely sounded like something Buffy or Spike would come up with. "Did you get much of a chance to talk to Buffy while she was here?"

"No, not really, I tagged along while she was catching up with Wes, and they helped fill me in on a couple of things." Connor shrugged. "I tried asking Will, but he wants to know everything everyone else has told me before he adds any details. It's like he doesn't want to offend anyone, or like he doesn't want to reveal anyone's secrets." Connor stared at him, and Liam got the uncomfortable sense that Connor knew darn well that people were censoring parts of Liam's history so he wouldn't start hating his father again. "Is it actually true that you and Buffy used to date?" Connor asked. He sounded pretty skeptical.

"Yeah, we dated for almost two years, when she was in high school." Liam wanted to ask about the skepticism, but then he didn't think he wanted to know after all.

"Weird." Connor shook his head. "I mean, I don't know much about your dating life, I only knew Cordy…Buffy just doesn't seem like someone you'd be interested in. Although, with a sample size of two, and considering how long ago it was…Maybe after I meet Nina I'll have a better picture."

Liam didn't think there was much chance of anyone meeting Nina, since both his Wolfram & Hart phone and office were gone. She'd be unable to contact him, and he wasn't ready to reach out and have a conversation about his transition into a pseudo-human with a woman he'd barely started dating. He was also not ready to explain to Connor why he'd given up on the werewolf or why he wasn't totally comfortable with his new life. "In a lot of ways, Buffy reminded me of your mother back then. And despite my history with Darla, that was very appealing."

"Eleanor." Connor responded.

"I'm sorry, what?" Liam blinked at him. He'd been with Darla for a hundred and fifty years, give or take. He was certain he'd remember if he'd ever heard her call herself by another name.

"Buffy said that when she saw my mom in her vision, she asked Buffy to call her by her birth name, not Darla. Said that she wanted me to know where she really came from, not just who she was as a vampire. Buffy's going to have the Council of Watchers try to do some research now that she knows Eleanor's name, and see if she can get me more info on what her family was like before she was turned, and if there are any Slayers floating around that I'm related to."

Liam vaguely remembered Buffy saying something about Darla being a potential Slayer before she was turned, but he'd been so busy trying to figure out what was going on in his own life it hadn't really registered. "Well, that's nice of her." He responded, not sure if he thought it really was, but it seemed like something he should say.

Connor smiled. "Yeah, I'd like to know. They did tell me that she was pretty. Will said she was also super smart and strategic, and Buffy said I have her eyes."

"You really do have her eyes." Liam nodded, remembering Darla during the good times. "She was one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I mean, evil, definitely. But also adventurous and sharp and clever…" Liam trailed off, not sure where he was going with that or if there was anything else he could say that he'd feel good about Connor knowing.

Connor watched his father expectantly for a moment, then when no additional information was given, he rolled his eyes. "Gee, Pops, don't worry so much. You can finish a sentence around me, you know? I promise I can concentrate long enough to absorb a whole thought."

Liam shrugged. "I wasn't really sure what else to say. It's not like you want to know all the nasty details of what our life together was like."

"No, not really." Connor's expression was turning increasingly sour. "But, you know, any details at all might be nice. Was she short or tall? Did she like some specific type of food or…Okay, I guess I don't need to know about her blood-drinking habits. But you were together a long time, there must be some things you can tell me. Do you have pictures of her?"

Liam winced. "I used to have pictures I drew, no photographs. I'll check, there may still be some around the Hyperion." Even if he could find them, he'd have to redraft them to add clothes, but there was no point bringing that up. "I didn't realize you were so curious about Darla. Eleanor."

"I wasn't, but then I heard a couple of stories and I realized, you know, it's not just you. Not just my biological father who I want to try to get to know. I had a mother, too. And I'm never going to get the chance to know her, but I know a lot of people she came into contact with over the years. I can talk to them, and know at least that much about her." Connor met Liam's eyes confrontationally. "At least people will talk to me about her. You're right here, and I feel like I've heard more Eleanor stories than I've heard you tell me stuff about yourself."

"What do you want me to say? That I used to be evil, but now I'm not? That I have a ton of memories that I hate, that I can never get rid of? I have a photographic memory, did you know that? Every dead body I've seen, every bad thing I've done, for 200 years, is all still stuck inside my brain. The only things that are even a little bit fuzzy are the times around my transitions between having and not having a soul. I lost three weeks after I was initially cursed, the conversation I supposedly had with Buffy when I tried to open Acathla, most of what happened when I was drugged and Cordy and Wes had to deal with Angelus…" Liam sighed, rubbing his eyes, hoping to get rid of his building headache. "I could tell you all about being turned, that I remember pretty clearly. I've got exciting stories about what being evil was like, or I could lie and tell you I forgot, or sanitize everything so I look better. None of those options appeal to me, really. So I just try not to say much."

Connor blinked at him. "I did not know you had a photographic memory."

Liam waited, wondering if Connor would ask any follow-up questions and how he should respond if he did. Before Con came up with a question to ask or a new subject to cover, the girls came back to the table with their ice cream. Thankful for the reprieve, Liam shot out of his chair and went to stand in line at the counter, facing away from the group of teens.

A few minutes later, Connor appeared behind him in line. Liam refused to acknowledge him at first, but when Connor took a deep breath and said, "Hey, Pops?" he turned to face his son.

Connor continued, "Hey, I'm sorry. I get…Well, I sort of get that you're going through something, even if I don't know exactly what's up. But you know, I get frustrated, too. Ever since my parents brought me to Wolfram and Hart, I can tell you want to say something to me, or reach out to me or something. But then you clam up, and I end up feeling pushed and pulled at the same time.

"Before the battle when you showed up to see me, I really wanted to deck you. I knew damn well there was no good reason for you to be there unless something big was going to happen. And then you didn't ask for help, or really say goodbye. You made awkward small talk with me in a coffee shop for a couple of hours, then headed out without any word. You know I'm strong. Did you not trust me to do good, is that it? Did you think if you let me know there was a big fight coming I'd get in on the other side?"

What? "What? Connor, no. It never occurred to me that you'd pick the other side of my fight out of spite or anything like that."

"I didn't say spite."

"Yeah, okay. Honestly, what I was concerned about was making sure you lived." One of many things he'd never wanted to tell Connor, but there didn't seem to be anything else to say. "Just before she staked herself, your mother called you the only good thing we'd ever done together. And looking at you that day, I couldn't bear to risk you. Even if that was what made the difference for the world."

They stood there for a few beats looking at one another, each wondering who would crack and break the silence first. Before they found out, a server called out from behind the counter. "Hey, staring contest, is one of you dudes ready to order?"

Connor recovered first and turned to the guy behind the counter with a friendly smile, "Yeah, sorry. I'll have the hot fudge sundae with peanut-butter cup ice cream. Pops, do you know what you want?" He turned to Liam and fixed him with a look Liam couldn't quite read.

"Umm, yeah. Double scoop of rocky road. In a cone."

The guy behind the counter nodded and headed off to start the order, and they were left looking at one another again. Eventually Connor nodded. "Yeah, okay. I can deal with that. That reason for not telling me about the battle, I mean. I get that. Don't do it again, though. Okay?"

Liam blinked at him. "I can't promise that. If something threatens you, I'm always going to pick keeping you safe."

"We kicked ass together in that alley, though. You helped back me and the others up without getting in the way or putting yourself in danger. We can do that again. You should start training with me, you know, now that your arm's healing." Connor's phone rang in his pocket. "Oh, I should get that, it might be Dilly."

Liam smiled weakly, trying to hide his discomfort as he nodded and waved Connor off. He was sure it was a karmic punishment that Connor's pseudo-little-sister was named Delores, like his own mother; not to mention that Connor called her by the same nickname Liam Sr. had used for his wife. Liam felt his father's presence strongly for the second time that night, and he didn't care for the feeling.

"Hey, man, your cone." The ice cream server was back and handing a large cone of ice cream across the counter to him. Liam took it, hoping he'd like it. He'd automatically ordered what Cordelia always got on the rare occasion she indulged. "Your little brother's sundae will be up in a minute." Before he could respond, the server was gone again.

Liam eyed Connor, who was talking animatedly on the phone. Little brother, huh? So strangers thought they looked like they were related. He smiled as he headed for the register. That was by far the least-awful thing that had happened today.