Elizabeth counted the weeks in her head. It's been months now, she mused while staring through the closed window of her room, as the light drizzle continued to fall. The weather had been too gloomy lately and it was not helping her mood.

Two months had passed now, two months and there were still no news from any of them. Not Jack and Will nor the Commodore.

She felt bored and sad but mostly, she felt incredibly lonely now.

After the misadventure with the pirates, her father had become even more lenient with her. He no longer insisted on her taking her painting lessons or practicing her needlework or do any of the activities she did not particularly fancy. Nor had he been taking her along to attend the dull reunions his friends organized every once in a while in order to strut around with rest of Port Royal 'aristocracy'.

At any other point in time, she would have been delighted by the lack of annoying activities, but at the moment, it just meant she had all the time in the world to fill her head with ideas and worries.

The first month had been the worst, she had thought she would lose her mind with worry and had driven everyone else residing in the Governor's Mansion mad with her restlessness. Those first few days in particular, she had been too uneasy to stay locked inside the house for too long. And that ended with her getting into the habit of taking walks around Port Royal for hours on end.

After the first few times, Estrella had started diligently following her along, but she desisted after a couple of weeks passed. Now she realized that Her father had probably been worried she would try to leave the island or something similar, but he never did ask her. And surprisingly, the idea did not hold much appeal to her at the moment.

Her walks around town transformed into walks around the pier quite quickly. She would mostly find a spot on the beach and stare at the horizon as the sun set. She knew she was waiting for a ship to arrive; what she did not know was which one she was hoping to see. Both possibilities filled her with as much excitement as dread.

Sometimes she would go tour the coastline and try to forget about everything; find herself a nice shadowy spot under a palm tree where she could rest and enjoy the breeze, or take a nice nap without being interrupted.

With so much free time on her hands, she had done nothing but think about everything. Which made her realize quite quickly that the Commodore had been right to some extent; somehow, she had still foolishly harboured some hope in her heart that Will might return for her. But as the days passed and turned into weeks… her tears dried. She stopped thinking about him as much, less and less every day. And now she had finally accepted reality, finally let go of the notion that Will Turner might have been truly in love with her.

In fact, now she couldn't help but question it all, his feelings, her feelings… and there really was no point to any of it now.

Had they really even known each other? Before The Black Pearl arrived at Port Royal and kidnapped her, Will had barely been able to even look her in the eye, let alone talk to her. All the interactions that had occurred between them were furtive glances and coquettish smiles on her part, trying in vain to attract his attention.

Not in vain, she supposed. He had said he loved her.

But he had done it in the heat of the moment, knowing he was about to do something incredibly reckless and dangerous. So he hadn't actually planned on being with her, probably hadn't even really meant it. Maybe he realized that was the case and that's why he hadn't bothered to come back and look for her? So, was it really such a loss?

As she spent hours thinking about him and their feelings for each other, it had started to dawn on her that what she thought existed between them, might not have been there after all. Not really, not in the way she had wanted it to be. Attraction? definitely. But love? It was foolish to think it was, and she was so tired of feeling foolish. She was discovering now… that love might be somehow different from what she believed it to be.

Sure she had been enamoured with Will, he was handsome, and kind and brave enough to go rescue her from the clutches of cursed pirates with nothing more than the help of a crazy pirate and his crew. She admired him, she wanted nothing more than for him to find his happiness but….

One confession was all there was between them, and all there would be. There was no point in living her life wondering about the possibilities of what they could have been. That would just be pathetic. She would not allow herself to live her life as a heartbroken woman waiting for a man that would not come.

He said his peace, she cried her tears and now it was pointless to dwell on it any longer. She hadn't really known him, and now she never would.

It was time to let it rest. She was allowed to move on, think about something else, someone else

But what did she want? She wasn't really sure what she wanted to do, she had never really been sure what she wanted.

The Commodore had assured her more than once that if it wasn't what she wanted, he would not force her into a marriage with him. She hadn't really been able to believe him the first time; as she had suspected her father and him had been plotting together -for quite some time- to make their union happen.

Even as a Lieutenant on The Dauntless, it had always been fairly obvious James would become an important man in the Navy, he possessed a determination that very few others had. From the moment they arrived at Port Royal all those years ago, he had proven his worth by tirelessly working along with her father to make this place a liveable town and protect its citizens. He had been ruthless, yes, but she had recognize, he had also been efficient.

If it wasn't for him, her father and the town would have suffered terribly at the hands of the pirates roaming the eastern Caribbean. And because of that, she had always known how much her father valued the Commodore and how high his regard for him was; and likewise the Commodore had always made his appreciation for her father clear.

She had been sure that, to her father, her marriage to the Commodore had not only been a smart match in order to get her an appropriate husband; but also an opportunity to officially welcome into the family the man he regarded as a son.

Although, at the moment, she wasn't even sure what her father's feelings about her possible marriage to the Commodore were anymore. Before she was kidnapped he used to go to great lengths to make her aware of all of the Commodore´s great feats and qualities, but after what happened the day those two escaped... She couldn't help but notice the way her father had stopped every mention of the Commodore in her presence, unless it was necessary.

No mention of how he might be, no mention of his whereabouts, not even one word about their wedding. And it made her uneasy, she could not understand why the sudden change in his behaviour occurred, after all, the Commodore was still her fiancé… wasn't he?

She could not understand their attitude now. If she stayed in Port Royal but didn't marry the Commodore not only would she hurt them both; everyone else would assume it was because she had been disgraced by pirates, and she would not allow his father to be shamed in that way.

The Commodore had been right, she could leave Port Royal, with enough persuasion her father would probably allow her to travel for a while, albeit she doubted he would let her get very far without an escort or a husband on her arm.

But where did she want to go?

Before pirates had taken her, all she had thought she wanted was a life of adventure and for her affection for the blacksmith to be returned. Those were clearly not possible now… well, she had gotten the adventure she had so desired, but it had been more of a nightmare really: Port Royal was attacked savagely; she had been kidnapped and molested; Will almost died; she had almost died twice. And all that she had to show for her adventure, was a measly confession and a contrite fiancé.

She wanted to sail and explore and have her freedom but it's not like she wanted to be alone, she also wanted love. If she married the Commodore… she could have all of that, right?

But, did she want to marry him? Before everything happened, her answer would have been a resounding no. She had thought him too serious and stiff, emotionless and with no real interest in her besides becoming a pretty wife to go along with his shiny new title.

But... she had been wrong, the emotions reflected in his eyes as he looked at her were still clear in her mind . He held true affection for her, Did he not? He might even be... in love with her. If she chose him, she could have someone who truly loved her and would stay with her

Thinking about him made her feel strange lately, there was a weird mix of guilt and elation inside her as she realized that he had also gone to her rescue and was willing to do what she asked. He had lost a precious ship but he still had been willing to help her retrieve the man who had stolen it; he hadn't blamed her for her deliberate omission of information and still had managed to defeat and capture the crew of pirates; he hadn't completely believed her dishonest acceptance of his proposal but had not thought less of her and when he realized her feelings, he had been willing to let her go free... He really was an excellent, honourable and intelligent man and now, she was sure that he would not let their life together be a miserable one.

If it was him, surely they could be happy.