His fingers lightly ran the length of her naked body. Shoulder to hip, and back again. Her skin glistened with a light sweat, making it look a deeper shade of bronze. He ran his lips across her bare shoulder, and she lightly shivered in her sleep.
He kept his arms around her, and buried his head into her hair. She crashed pretty hard. Whether or not she wanted to admit it, her body needed more recovery time.
He continued to run his fingers up and down her body, lost in thought. He could stay. They could have more of this. They could be together, really together. He could , but he shouldn't . She deserved all of him , and right now he felt like a train wreck of a human being. She deserved more than he could give her in this broken state.
He brushed her hair away from her shoulder, and noticed his wedding band. His promise to another woman. Not the woman currently sleeping in his arms. All he ever did was hurt her, and maybe that was the reason for giving in to this. He loved her. Deeply. And for once he wanted her to know, to really know how he felt about her.
His fingers traced over her hip to her abdomen, and she squirmed when he inadvertently brushed a sensitive spot. He closed his eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of her body against his, and the feeling of her skin beneath his fingers. He brushed across the many scars on her body. Remnants of her journey through hell. Another reminder of a time he failed her .
She sighed and shifted her weight. Her eyes fluttered open and she rolled carefully onto her back. "Hey," she greeted sleepily.
He brushed her cheek. "Hey." He tried to keep his voice steady, but he could never hide anything from her.
A familiar concern drifted over her face and her brow knit with worry. "Are you okay?" She whispered.
He felt like she had asked that a million times in the past few days. The answer was always the same. "No, not really."
She tugged on his arm, but he pulled her on top of him. Her warm bare skin pressed into his chest. She tensed a little until she shifted the pressure off her hip. Without another sound, her lips fell onto his for a soft kiss. Her eyes stayed closed as she whispered, "I love you. You know that right?"
He brushed the hair away from her face and cupped her cheek. "I know," his voice was low and affectionate. "I love you too." His thumb brushed across her soft lips. She offered a sad smile, and he knew she wanted to ask him to stay . But she wouldn't.
He pulled her face towards him and kissed her slowly. He wasn't at all surprised when her lips became more demanding. Her teeth grazed his lower lower lip and his heart thundered relentlessly. He would never tire of the feeling of her mouth on his or her naked body warm against his chest.
Her lips roamed down his throat and across his chest. His hands mapped the length of her spine and moved carefully across her ass.
She sucked at the base of his neck while her hands wandered lower, pressing into his abs. His breathing quickened and his thoughts began to focus only on Olivia. All the pain, worry, and fear melted away as her body moved purposefully against his.
-000-
Two days passed. They talked, mostly on the phone. Both of their caseloads increased after the Shadowerk case closed, but she knew he was intentionally distancing himself. She glanced at her watch. Whelan's funeral was underway. She asked if Elliot wanted her to go with him, but he declined. She knew Whelan's death hit him hard, and sent him further down the spiral he already found himself caught in.
She felt a lot like she did after Kathy died, that feeling of helplessness. As much as she wanted to make it better for him, she couldn't. She could support, but she couldn't do any of this for him. Problem was, instead of dealing with it, he was running. And she felt powerless to stop him.
Her heart leapt when he wandered into her office. His hand clung to a random brown paper bag, and he appeared to be still dressed in the suit he wore to the funeral. She knew what was coming. She hoped it wouldn't but she knew.
He laid the mysterious paper bag on her desk. She lifted it up and eyed him with confusion, "What is this?"
He shrugged, "A reminder." He said cryptically. He turned and took a couple steps away from her before turning back towards her. "I wanted to give it to you before you left."
Her heart sank. The words stung more than she thought they would, but she tried to keep her face unreadable. "You decided then?" She fiddled with the edges of the paper bag.
"Yeah," his voice rasped with emotion. "I need to do this Liv. I can't.." his thoughts tapered off.
She let out a slow sigh before trying to speak again, "It's okay," she reassured, even if it wasn't. She added, " Well thank you for telling me this time. " She meant it as an ironic joke, but it sounded depressing when the words left her lips.
He tried a sad smile, and she returned her attention to the paper bag in front of her. Part of her wanted to ask if he brought her lunch or something, but it was featherlight when she lifted it. The paper crinkled as she reached inside and pulled out a small box. She couldn't help the smile teasing at the corners of her lips, "I like small boxes." Her heart pounded while the small box sat in front of her. It had to be jewelry, and that was a new thing for them.
She almost laughed at his self-satisfied grin when he said, "I know."
She began pulling at the ribbon but he stopped her. " Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute." He had that smile. The one that instantly made her smile. The one he used when flirting with her. "Not so fast . "
She cocked her head in confusion and paused. His blue eyes danced with mischief as he pointed towards the unopened red christmas present behind her. "I wanna know what's in that box first."
She knew he had been dying to open it since he noticed it during their stake out. She stepped over to the shelf where it had sat for five months. She reached for it and walked it over to him. "You do, do you? Okay. " Her eyes sparkled with the same hint of humor. In all honesty she would happily trade." I'll make you a deal. You open it, you keep it." She dropped the box into his hands and stepped back to her desk.
He opened the gift, his face burning with curiosity. They both stifled a laugh when he lifted the red ornament from the box. Live Love Laugh. She nearly snorted at the kitschy normality of the gift. "They even took the price tag off." His lips tightened as he tried not to laugh.
She had no problem rubbing his nose in it a bit, "Having a little regret there aren't you."
She watched with curiosity as his gaze focused on the ornament and his fingers began to bend a letter out of place. "Nah." Once he pulled the letter from the ornament he held it up for her to see. LIV love laugh. " You can always fix things." He smiled sweetly. "Now I'll treasure it."Damn . That might be the sweetest thing ever.
He nodded towards the box, "Your turn." He paced away nervously, but turned back when she began to open the box.
She felt inexplicably nervous when she pulled the ribbon away and lifted the lid from the box. Her heart pounded furiously when she pulled back the tissue paper, revealing a compass necklace. The emotion rising in her chest caught her off guard, and she was taken aback by the thoughtfulness of the gift.
"A compass." She lifted the petite necklace from the box and let the compass settle on her palm as she inspected it further, "Elliot this is, this is beautiful." She felt her eyes beginning to tear, and she finally made eye contact. "Thank you." Her eyes dropped to the beautiful piece draped across her fingers, and pondered its meaning. "Is this supposed to uh lead me somewhere or to something…"
He shrugged his typical nonchalant shrug, and took two steps towards her. He reached out his hand. She let the necklace slip into his fingers, and turned so he could help her get it on. She lifted her hair, and as he fastened the clasp his lips brushed her ear, "Lead you to happiness Liv." If only he understood how much her happiness was dependent on him.
He brushed her hair away from her neck, and pressed a discreet kiss there, but if this was all she would have of him for the coming months she wanted more than a swift kiss to the back of her neck. Without thinking twice she turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her lips fell onto his with a quiet desperation, communicating the hope of his safe return and the promise that she would be waiting when he got back.
When they parted she felt breathless. She cupped his cheek with her hand, and with tears welling in her eyes promised, "Well, I um, I'm sure as hell gonna try."
He pressed his forehead to hers, and brushed his lips against once more before whispering, "Me too." His hands lingered at her waist as he stepped back. His stormy blue eyes watched her, as if he were memorizing every detail of her face.
His hands dropped when he backed further away. He paused at the door and took one more lingering look, "Goodbye Partner." While tears rolled silently down her cheeks, he closed the door behind him, leaving her standing alone in the middle of her office. Tears slipped down her cheeks as her fingers toyed with the small compass laying against her chest.