3rd, July, 1998

In a clearing near a forest, in the depths of Romania stood a tower with a single circular room at the top. Magically hidden from Muggles and even other wizards, Kate could work quietly without being interrupted, though in recent months she had used it as a bunker rather than a study.

There was a time when it was just ruins that Charlie had found when he moved into the small cottage down the road, but when they decided to move in together, partly because of Kate's need not to depend on her family's money and because they could no longer bear to live so far away from each other, Charlie refurbished it for her. All her papers, books, pots and jars would no longer be scattered around their small bedroom, but in this extra space full of shelves, a makeshift greenhouse and even a raised area with a couple of old armchairs. They never found out why it was there or who its original owner was.

Kate arrived at the building a few minutes after leaving the cabin in near darkness. Before entering through the heavy wooden door, she stared at the road behind her, only the dim light of her house was visible, and for a painful moment she wanted to run back to it to greet Charlie, who would be getting home anytime soon.

She climbed the spiral staircase to the top floor, where her little refuge was. The smell of smoke made her forget the tension in her home, replacing it with another kind of desperation; the need to use her hands, her brain, to make notes, to stay active, because if she stopped, she would have to face the image of Tonks lying on the floor; Lupin, next to her with his eyes open; screaming children, flashes of light and thunder; Fred.

She sighed and left her leather jacket on the coat rack next to the banister before heading for her desk. The candles on it were still burning, and it was the only thing that lit the place. At the sight of the mess on the table, she took a deep breath, slumping into the chair with a tired groan. She brought her fingers to her eyelids, rubbing gently to remove the burning sensation.

The last two months after the war had been draining; too many funerals, too many tears, too much guilt. The last funeral they attended was Fred's and Kate didn't dare to look any member of the Weasley family in the eyes, not even Charlie.

She tilted her head to the side, bored with herself, following the path of a viscous green liquid that made its way down her now broken cauldron, and glanced at her wand next to it. When would she find the courage to confess to Charlie that she had not been able to do magic since the battle? Wand, wandless, no potions, no transfigurations, no legilimency, no animagi form, not to mention that all her plants were dead or about to dry up completely. It didn't take magic to take care of a plant, so apparently her passion for herbology was diminishing a little more each day. When would she find the courage to tell him she was there when it happened, when one of the Weasleys stopped being a twin?

She snorted, thinking about her work; she couldn't go back to the mediwizard world, either, after having...

She averted her gaze again, angry at her wand, these days only functioning as a wooden stick, taunting her from afar. She did a double-take when Grimoire, her bengal cat, leapt onto the table at that instant, getting a gasp from Kate.

"Freeze!" She stood up with one finger pointing at the animal. Grimoire stared wide-eyed as she picked up the shards of glass strewn across her desk. "I have to buy heat-resistant jars..." she muttered. She let out another frustrated sigh when she remembered the boxes she was supposed to bring to tidy the room were forgotten at home. The trip to the tower had been pointless.

After the sudden reprimand, the cat sat by the cauldron, scanning the room with decaying interest.

"You know perfectly well you can't be in here." admonished Kate as she placed the broken jars to one side, away from Grimoire. He snorted in response.

Her hands tensed momentarily, and she quickly brushed her hair away from her face. Frustrated with the untamable locks, she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, twisted in on itself and reached across the desk for her wand, so she could pin the bun in place. The cat mewled when Kate grabbed him with firm hands and left him on the floor. He rapidly scurried away towards the seats at the other end of the room, where Charlie had set up a small sitting area with two small armchairs and a table.

Charlie.

They hadn't spoken since that infamous day. Each passing day Kate lifted more stones around her heart, feeling that special connection they once shared fading by the day. Each morning she would find the bed empty and breakfast made, Grimoire already fed, the day's food prepared for her in the fridge and a heartbreaking silence throughout the house. At night, Charlie would come to the tower to ask about her day and briefly share his. Some days they would have dinner together, talking about more and more banal things each night, avoiding the hippogriff in the room that was eating them up inside.

Kate didn't understand. She didn't understand what had happened to them that day. Charlie had suddenly become mute, and she didn't know how to get him out of it. How could she get her russet-haired boy back, the one who had once promised to tell her everything? If the reason was because he knew Kate had had a hand in Fred's death and was making her pay for it, a cruciatus curse or outright termination of their relationship would be less painful.

Kate gasped at the sudden thought. Would it really be better to end it all rather than endure the silent torture she was carrying inside? And in that case, where would she go? What would she do?

She plopped down in one of the armchairs, having wandered around the room without realising it, and a conversation from a year ago came to mind, a moment that left her heart stinging.

They stared at each other with the kitchen table in between them.

"It's in my head and it hurts, and I don't know if it's going to be the right decision and I'm… sad. Thinking this way makes me sad." Kate blinked rapidly, alternating her gaze on his eyes and his face, trying to understand why in the midst of all the crap they were in, Charlie decided to add this kind of doubt to the mix.

"To be honest, I… didn't see this coming and I don't know what that says about me… or us." Kate looked down and focused on her way-too-long nails, and momentarily considered going to the bathroom to give them a trim and escape from the conversation.

Charlie's sudden doubts of their approximately five-year relationship took her by surprise, and the last thing she needed now was losing the only good thing that was happening in her life.

Looking up again, she took a deep breath and prepared for battle.

"I know that me being away all the time is not the ideal situation and I can look for another job if… if that's what you mean, I know we've been relying on you but I told you we had my savings and…"

"It's not that. I just… It's hard. Doing this is hard. Watching you walk away all the time is hard and not knowing if you are coming back is even harder."

"It's not easy for me either, you know?" she snapped, increasingly irritated.

"I didn't say that it was."

"I won't stop working for the Order. I can't do what you are asking me to do."

"I'm not asking you to do anything. I'm just telling you how I feel!" Charlie rounded the table that separated them and stormed to the couch in front of the now empty chimney of their living room.

She was looking at the spot he left behind when he walked away, and it took a moment for her to remain calm and finally turn around.

Tentatively, she sat on an armchair in front of him and curled her legs under her.

"For how long have you been feeling this way?" she said, trying to sound as soft as possible.

"Just before you... arrived from your last mission, I was going to talk to Bill."

"About?"

"Nothing in particular, but then he said something that made me think. You were unconscious and while we waited for you to wake up, he insinuated that... there's a point in a relationship where... either you break up or you get married."

Charlie took a peek at her, slowly enough to see her confused expression cross her face. She remained silent, afraid to look at him and insecure about how to proceed.

Anxious because of her lack of words, he spoke again, his voice above a whisper.

"Would you want to marry me?"

"I thought we agreed that marriage isn't important to us." She rushed to say.

"And what about... children?"

"Why are we talki…? I'm not ready to have that conversation now, and neither are you. Whatever Bill said about relationships may apply to him, but he doesn't know us like we do."

Kate stood now, suddenly brave, as she was now figuring out what may have happened with Charlie's behaviour. She sat next to him on the couch, but he kept looking at his knees.

"I know that we've changed a lot since Hogwarts. We are not the same people we were when we got together." She let out a breathy laugh that ended up being more watery than she intended. "We aren't the same people as last year. I can... I can understand that maybe love isn't enough anymore."

At that, Charlie looked up and found her eyes, glossy with contained emotion and probably matching his own.

"It's not that. Bloody hell, I shouldn't have said anything!"

"No! Why? Because you think it can't be fixed? We're stronger than that." He attempted to stand up, but she gently grabbed his wrist and pulled to make him sit by her side again. When he complied, a shaky breath left her mouth.

Her hand made its way up to his hand, grabbed it and brought it to rest on her lap. She traced his fingers and the lines of his palm, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly when he curled his fingers at the contact.

"Just for a moment," she said, "tell me what you want and not what Bill or your mother expect you to do. Yes, I know your mom has a lot to do about what's going on here."

"It's just so... confusing. I don't want to end it and go separate ways, I really don't." A heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders at that moment. Without retrieving his hand from hers, he leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

They stayed like that for moments that seemed longer than they were, Kate caressing his hand looking out of the window while Charlie tried to keep his composure, shaking his head from time to time.

"What would happen if… if we break up?" He asked, still looking up.

Kate sighed and tried to answer as sincere as she could.

"I would probably go back to London. Get a flat somewhere. And beg Madame Louise to give me a job at St Mungo's again."

"Do you... would you prefer living in London?"

"I'm here because of you, Charlie. I'm not going to lie. If there's nothing left for me here, then…"

"I thought you wanted to live here…" He tensed, and she noticed. She moved her other hand on top of his and secured it there. Perhaps to prevent him from running away, perhaps to have something to remind her what was at stake.

"I do not regret moving in with you. I would follow you anywhere. I hope you know that. I like the life we built here and I… I," she choked up thinking about what was next, because it would probably hurt them both "I wish I could say I wouldn't change it for anything but… I can't sit here, knowing that a war is coming, and I didn't, at least, try to prevent it."

"I'm not asking you to quit for me. I'm… not like that."

"I know." She turned to look at him and squeezed his hand. Suddenly self-conscious, she feared how her face must have been looking: probably red and puffy from unshed tears.

"Do you think it would be easier to go on our own ways?" She threw the question too fast. She regretted asking immediately after she finished.

"Godric, no. No." Kate took a deep breath and nodded. Maybe there could be hope.

"The only thing I can say is that begging for you to keep with this… would be unfair for you if...if this is not what you want. And that… the only good thing about my life right now is knowing that I can always come home to you." Charlie was looking at her now, with those brown, slitted eyes that once made her fall in love but at that moment only wanted to make her cry. "And just to make sure you know, yes. I would marry you, but not like this. Not because we may die in a near future or because we are expected to do that." He nodded, but Kate's hopes rapidly evaporated when he stood up to face the window.

Another instance of silence left Kate agonizing in her seat. She waited impatiently for his next words, and it took great strength not to pressure him further.

At last, Charlie turned again to face her. She searched his face, afraid of what she would find, but willing to search anyway.

"So…"

"So…"

"What do we do?" she asked.

"I don't know." He rubbed his face and tired eyes, on the verge of defeat.

"I want you to be happy, Charlie." she said, raising a shoulder.

"I won't be."

"But you aren't happy now."

Charlie chuckled sarcastically and shrugged. "Well, no, but just because there's people that want to kill everyone I love."

She laughed out of pure nerves and attempted to lift the mood, failing in gigantic proportions. "Yes, that's pretty reasonable."

Kate's eyes unintentionally, or maybe not so, moved to a framed picture of them that rested on a table next to the couch.

She remembered that day well: it had been Barnaby's birthday, and miraculously the gang managed to be all reunited for a night. Barnaby brought a camera he had been gifted and gave Kate and Charlie something to remember that day.

They looked happy, and they were for a few hours. She remembered how he sat on a stool at The Three Broomsticks, exhausted but with a grin plastered on his face; how she playfully sat on his lap and teased him about drinking enough fire whiskeys to make a dragon tipsy; how, after laughing, they noticed the flash of the camera that Andre was holding and that captured the moment they admired every day.

"We make a good team," she started. "Your hands are warm, mine are cold; you know about animals, I know about plants; you like sports, I like sleeping…" At this point she was standing face to face with him, a sense of familiarity calming their nerves without knowing it.

"If you are going to say that you are the brain and I'm the muscle, I'm going to tickle you."

"I said nothing of the sort…"

"You did! Once!"

"An insignificant slip." She dismissed with a gesture of her hand.

They stared at each other with sad smiles and hearts, waiting for the other to say something reassuring or, at least, something that wouldn't break their hearts in two.

Charlie inhaled deeply and yanked her to him, burying his head in the crook of her neck and circling his arms around her.

Kate tensed visibly, but when Charlie squeezed her to press her further against him, she finally relaxed.

She drew circles on his back, up his shoulders, tangling in his hair and down again. When he breathed, relieved, she mimicked him, pressing her face against his neck.

"You are worth fighting for." he murmured into her hair. Kate just hugged him closer and both of them stayed that way; rocking gently from side to side and content knowing that it wasn't all lost, after all.

"You are too."

In a valley of the Carpathian Mountains, hidden from the Muggle and the untrained wizarding eye, an entire camp of explorers and lovers of winged creatures was spread out.

As Kate sat in her armchair with tears in her eyes, Charlie Weasley was thinking of her.

Sitting at a picnic table inside a tent, his gaze was fixed on a parchment with pictures on it he kept out of focus, immersed in his thoughts.

"Well?"

He lifted his head to come face to face with Razvan's hover chair, who was steering the brooms across the table.

"I don't understand mechanics, Raz." He said, handing him the parchment. His friend sighed and furrowed his big eyebrows, concentrating on his diagrams.

As muggle-born as he was stubborn, Razvan was well known for his metal-charming abilities for helping flightless dragons with devices of his own invention. When Charlie arrived at the sanctuary years ago, the two became best friends almost instantly.

Raz left his sketches on the table and waited for Charlie's response, which never came. "The longer you wait, the worse it gets."

The redhead clasped his hands in front of him, crestfallen.

"Honestly, I don't know what your problem is."

"I already explained it to you." Charlie snorted, exasperated.

"Yeah, but I just don't get it, mate. You've been like this for weeks."

"It's complicated."

"You really haven't spoken to her since... that?" Razvan had not participated in the war himself despite, his protests. He was a key player in Charlie's gained contacts, thanks to him and his uncle they managed to get half of Romania on their side. However, when it came to the moment of truth, when an urgent owl sent from Scotland claimed that the war had started earlier than expected, Charlie left the camp almost without saying goodbye. Perhaps if the sender had not been Kate, it would have given him time to take two of the dragons Sonia was training.

"She's the one who won't talk." He mumbled, pulling off his fire-protective gloves. "She hasn't said a word to me about it since we got back. I'm not going to push her."

Razvan nodded with a heavy sigh. "That's all very good, mate, but you can't go on like this. Look at you."

"I don't need you to remind me I'm having a hard time, Raz." He brought his hand to his face and then to his hair, grimacing, remembering that it had been too many days since he'd last washed it. "I'm sorry." Raz shook his head.

"At any point did you tell her what you told me?" he asked as he rolled up his drawings and gestured to Charlie to pass him the leather tube up to him.

"No. But I know that's why she's more distant. I always do the same thing to her..."

"Stop that." Charlie rolled his eyes in anticipating the same, almost weekly, conversation for the past two months. "I can't believe Kate, the only person I've ever seen who defends you tooth and nail, who sometimes won't even let us tease you and who has always listened to you, suddenly thinks you're a heartless monster because of that nonsense."

"It's not nonsense." He interrupted. Razvan, irritated, held up a hand to let him continue.

"It is, because Kate is a rational person and she's not going to buy that crap you're trying to pin on yourself."

Thinking about how she dodged the issue hurt him more than talking about it. They lived together, slept together, shared the same space, and still they were unable to find the right words to describe what the war meant to them. With each passing day, Kate was becoming more and more of a stranger. The situation was getting out of hand, but he didn't know how to handle it. He wanted to hug her, hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay, that they just had to talk.

Just like always.

Maybe Razvan was right. Maybe he wasn't as horrible as he thought. But why didn't he let go of that feeling of guilt, of failure? They won the war at a price that, had he known, he would not have been willing to pay. And that, he thought, realising for the first time, was what perhaps he dared not say to her face. Had he known his brother would die, he would have considered getting his family out of Scotland before it all blew up and never set foot in Hogwarts again.

Razvan threw up his hands, surrendered, and floated over to the curtains that doubled as a door. "Don't let Sonia see you whining in the corners, or she'll send me to cheer you up."

Charlie breathed an unamused laugh and tapped the table before standing up. He couldn't stop thinking that he would soon have to return home, a place that once had been his refuge turned into a mausoleum of painful memories.

"And how are you?" They both walked out of the tent towards the last rays of sunlight that could be seen from the mountain. Charlie put a hand on his shoulder affectionately.

"Heh, 'm fine. Waiting for the results... "Charlie tilted his head and frowned. "You really are slow these days. You took an exam and wrote a fucking 200-pages paper for this..."

Charlie tsked and with the movement of his head he saw Sonia's blond dyed curls bounce towards them.

"Here we fucking go…"

"So…" She said raising her pointy chin at them, "how are we feeling?" She eyed Charlie suspiciously when he just nodded.

"Pretty confident, boss." Razvan commented.

An uncomfortable silence washed over them. They shared timid looks nodding, waiting for the other two to say something. Sonia ended the exchange clapping her hands once.

"Well, good luck, then." Both friends watched their boss hop away into a tent.

"Why is she always so… awkward?" Charlie shrugged, not paying much attention to what Razvan kept saying. Kate would be in her tower, so maybe he could have some alone time to process what he was going to say. He needed her support, he needed to tell her that in a matter of days he would know if all the work he put in for the past years was worth it. And he needed her arms if he got denied by the Apuseni Program.

"I'm going to talk to her."

As he had predicted, the house was empty. He walked over to the unwashed pans and cutlery in the sink, limping a little at the stabbing pain he felt in his knee from time to time. He aired the wand and immediately the soap began to do its work in the air.

He walked over to the fridge and checked with a somewhat sad half-smile that his dinner was waiting for him next to a small jar of Kate's ointment. The post-it stuck to it read "Circular motions. X"

Until that day, it was Kate who applied the cream to his wound and Charlie could swear that the only thing that soothed him was the warmth of her massaging hands.

He grabbed the plate and the cream, adding between his fingers a bottle of beer that he ambitiously balanced as he walked.

And that's when he saw it.

A cardboard box on the threshold of the room they shared lay open on the floor. He set the things down on the coffee table and, moved by curiosity, walked over to inspect the contents sticking out of the box.

Inside were more unfolded boxes, some broken vials and a book he had never seen before. A woman on the cover was peering at him from behind her glasses with an Augurey resting on her shoulder.

"Herbology, Magizoology and Potions. British Ministry of Magic's Research Wing, by Gethsemane Prickle."

He flipped it over, suddenly holding his breath, and scanned the description of the essay in which Prickle detailed her experience as a researcher for the ministry.

In any other circumstance, he would not have given it much thought. However, a conversation from the previous year instantly flashed into his mind.

His mouth dropped open in realisation. That conversation, the book and the cardboard box were proof enough that Kate intended to leave Romania, and not for a mission for the Order, they were no longer necessary, no. This time it was for good.

Charlie headed towards the tower with a worried expression. He could see a faint light coming from her study, and that gave him some reassurance.

He pushed open the door and climbed the stairs to the top. Not seeing her from his position, he approached the desk. His heart clenched, fearing to find books, clothes or her notebooks. Instead, he stared directly at a green sticky mess dangerously slipping down the drawers. He pulled his wand from his belt holster and muttered a cleaning spell.

A sniffing sound alerted him. Turning around, he made out Kate's silhouette in the shadows, lying on one of the sofas. He placed his wand next to hers and made his way to the small living room, trying to take several calming breaths in the process. After reaching the table, he crouched down in front of her, leaving them facing each other.

Slowly, and trying to project an aura of calmness, he rose, only to gently grab her shoulders and lift her upper body. He slid in behind her and sat down on the couch, letting her lean against his torso. Kate rested her head on his shoulder, finding warmth and a familiar sense of security in him. She felt his arm around her, pulling her even tighter against him.

Charlie stroked her hair as she sobbed, quickly losing control of his own emotions. He began circling her back to soothe her, and himself as well, when Kate grabbed a handful of his flannel. He met her hand, not letting it move from its place over his heart.

Without knowing it, they were both asking the same questions over and over again: would they be able to be in the same space, touch each other, look at each other... without suffering? What was the other holding back and why? How could they go back to the way they were before?

A/N Publishing this way sooner than planned so I put Charlie out there. But I won't be able to update every 3 days thats for sure lmao.