Home, love, family Chapter 3: Alexandra s little world, an anastasia fanfic

Some of the information, ideas and the way some paragraphs are written are inspired by Helen Rappaport's book "Four sisters".

Moscow. July 17, 1918.

Doroteya Filippovna Lavrova.

From the city of St. Petersburg, the Tsar ruled the Russian Empire. This land was so big that while the sun was setting on the western borders, it was also rising in the east.

Nicholas had a huge weight over his shoulders. All of the people who lived under his rule were his God-given responsibility. If anything bad happened to them, or he made a wrong choice, he would have to answer to the divine sovereign Himself. God had given Nicholas his power.

Nicholas's loyalty to his late father knew no bounds. His admiration influenced him. The moment he ascended the throne, Nicholas II bowed to preserve the autocracy as firmly as his father had done.

Soon after Nicholas became Tsar, a deputation of peasants and workers from various towns' local assemblies, the zemstvos, came to the Winter Palace proposing reforms such as the adoption of a constitutional monarchy.

Although the addresses were written with mild and loyal terms, Nicholas was angry and ignored advice from the Imperial Family Council. He did not want the zemstvos to have any part in the government. Nicholas would maintain the autocracy.

After her birth, Nicholas and Alexandra took Olga on many trips to Austria, Denmark, and England. Olga was the only one of her siblings who got to meet her great grandmother, Queen Victoria, in Scotland.

Victoria and Alexandra spent hours playing with the baby. Many people commented that Olga appeared older than her age, bursting with happiness and knowing just how to behave. She took her first steps with the help of her two-year-old cousin David, the son of Prince George. The little friendship started when David picked Olga up after a fall and gave her a kiss. Queen Victoria noticed the small little pair and jokingly said baby Olga would make a great queen for England someday in the future.

From Scotland, Nicholas and Alexandra traveled to France, their ally. Huge crowds waved at the Emperor and Empress as they were driven across the boulevards of Paris, and whenever they saw baby Olga with her nurse, they shouted in French:

"Long live the baby! Long live the Grand Duchess!" And even: "Long live the nanny!"

Nicholas would look overjoyed by the people's unmistakable displays of affection.

The young couple visited many important sites in Paris, such as the grave of Napoleon, the man who had once invaded Russia. They spent one evening in Versailles, where Alexandra was granted the rooms of Marie Antoinette. During a military review, the French soldiers praised Nicholas, who would never forget the warm welcome he had received in France.

In commemoration of the conclusion of the Franco-Russian Alliance by Alexander III, Nicholas was invited to lay the foundation stone of a bridge still to be built at that time, a bridge that today is known as the Alexander Bridge.

Back in Russia, Nicholas returned to his tedious, and in his own words, detestable job. The one he felt completely obliged to do. Nicholas never went to bed until he had read all the reports sent to him and made comments on each of them. He survived the stress by becoming, little by little, a chain-smoker.

Nicholas was under the great influence of his four uncles: Vladimir, Commander of the Imperial Guard, Alexei, Grand Admiral of the Russian Navy and famous womanizer, Sergei, Ellaʼs aggressively reactionary husband, and Paul.

As the mildest, Paul did not cause Nicholas any trouble at first, but this would soon change. Paul had two children: Maria and Dmitri, but his wife had died giving birth to the latter in 1891. Dmitri had almost died as well, but Grand Duke Sergei had taken great care of the premature infant, saving his life in the process.

Paul began an affair with a commoner, and after they had a son, Vladimir, he asked to be allowed to marry her. Nicholas refused. It was illegal for Grand Dukes and Grand Duchesses to marry commoners.

Nicholas spent the first years of his reign in awe of his bellowing uncles, who towered over him and seemed to know better at the time. They had known Nicholas since he was a little boy and treated him as such. For their methods of intimidation, Nicholas dreaded being left alone with them in his office.

Intimidation was never a facet of Nicholas's personality. He always tried to behave in a kindly manner with everyone, even while raging inside. He thought showing restraint was the gentlemanly thing to do. When he fired his ministers, he would generally do so through the written language, confusing the poor men, who would be treated as if nothing were about to happen days before.

Nicholas hated drama and often found it hard to criticize a man or his ideas to his face. This character trait was considered further proof of his alleged weakness of will, although it would be more accurate to say Nicholas was a man of strong convictions his circumstances of birth had facilitated acting upon who was simply not interested in convincing anyone with a different position that his ways would work better because, at the end of the day, he had the final say.

As the Tsar and head of the Romanov House, Nicholas owned many lands, but despite his wealth, his private purse was often empty. There were seven palaces to take care of with its servants to be paid: the Winter and Anitchkov Palaces in St. Petersburg, the Alexander and Catherine Palaces in Tsarskoye Selo, their palace by the sea of Finland, Peterhof, the palace of Gatchina, their quarters in the Kremlin at Moscow, and the Livadia Palace in Crimea. Nicholas was also responsible for giving each of the imperial members of the family their allowances. Then there were the trains and the yachts. Many hospitals, orphanages, and other charities also depended on him. At the end of the year, the Tsar was usually penniless.

Alexandra continued learning Russian with the help of her tutor Catherine Schneider, but as the Empress she did not fare well in her role. The Russian aristocracy was critical of Alexandra for her poor French, the court language, as well as her constant unavailability. She was not used to the enormous and opulent Russian court, as the court in her home duchy was ridiculously small by comparison.

Alexandraʼs natural shyness, awkwardness, and difficulty at coming up with interesting topics for small talk were confused for disdain and haughtiness by the snobby St. Petersburg society ladies, who also had a very strong preference for Alexandraʼs mother-in-law. Even as a widow in her forties, Maria Feodorovna had more than enough the energy to dance and gossip for hours. The women at court did not appreciate the fact the more serious Alexandra had replaced her.

Alexandra had been a fish out of the water ever since her first appearance at court as the Empress during the winter season of 1896, little after Olga was born. She had clung tightly to her husband's arms while blankly staring at everyone, later confessing to him that she would rather have sunk into the floor.

Her first meetings with the ladies of St. Petersburg went disastrously. Alexandra rarely smiled in front of strangers or spoke more than a few words of welcome. She awkwardly hung her hand in the air for it to be kissed, as it was custom, and her constant anxious glances to see how many ladies more were coming clearly indicated she just wanted it to be over. The gossiping about all the things that were "wrong" with her continued.

At first, Alexandra attempted to act as her role demanded, but even when she tried, her sloppy attempts could end up failing disastrously. She sometimes showed up at balls covered in way too many jewels and dressed in excessively ornamented dresses because she knew the court admired those sorts of fancy things. Alexandra must have thought that even if they disliked her, they would at least respect her as their Empress. The court ladies ended up laughing at her opulence and mocking her behind her back without much discretion, comparing Alexandra to the simply dressed yet still elegant Dowager Empress.

Raised in the small court of Darmstadt and strictly raised trained, Alexandra was not prepared for the long parties, the love affairs, or the gossip.

"The heads of young ladies of St. Petersburg", the scandalized Alexandra once declared, "are filled with nothing but thoughts of young officers."

She soon started crossing off names from the palace invitation lists, which made people in St. Petersburg consider her a prude. They were not mistaken. During one of the first court balls the new Empress attended, she saw a woman dancing with a cleavage she considered way too low. Alexandra sent one of her ladies in waiting to notify the woman in question.

"Madame," the lady said. "Her Majesty wants me to tell you that in Hesse-Darmstadt we donʼt wear our dresses that way."

"Really?" The young woman replied while pulling the front of her dress even lower. "Tell Her Majesty that in Russia we do wear our dresses this way."

Whenever Alexandra smiled, the ladies called it mockery. If she had a neutral expression, it was confused with anger. Her religious fervor was considered excessive. There was nothing she could do that was not misinterpreted. This was noticed even by Nicholasʼs teenage sister Olga, who sympathized with the unfortunate new Empress.

Alexandra found the strain of fulfilling her ceremonial duties incredibly hard. Social environments were quite scary for her, and she was not oblivious either. She knew about the mockery and could sense the disdain people felt for her. Throughout her first few months of failures, she would often cry in her husbandʼs arms while confessing her feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, but in the end Alexandra began closing off to the outside world.

All she yearned for was a quiet, private, and relatively secluded existence with her family as the center and most important thing in her life. Alexandra wanted safety, and her husband was the only one who made her feel fully safe.

She began to dislike the aristocracy and the people from St. Petersburg's high society in general. She considered them scandalous, immoral, frivolous, mundane, unspiritual, and prone to gossip. She detested the fashions and the tales of extramarital affairs, promiscuity, and other actions she considered immoral but were common among those social circles. She wanted to protect her future children from their pernicious influence.

Alexandra did not even deem most inhabitants of St. Petersburg "real" Russians. She did not care for the cityʼs culture because she knew most revolutionary sentiments were hatched in its cosmopolitan centers, rapidly spreading outwards like plagues. They were not real Russians, she told herself and anyone who would listen, and neither were the workers who went on strike, or the revolutionary students, or the difficult ministers.

The real people were the peasants she had become acquainted with during visits to her sister Ella in her state. Those humble and kind people who fell to their knees in prayer for the Tsar, who kissed the shadow of the Tsar as he walked near them. She was a mother to those people, their matushka. Those were the real Russians.

Most of all, Alexandra thought the aristocracyʼs lack of willingness to help those less fortunate than them without reward reproachable. In 1896, Alexandra tried to start a charity project called "Help Through Handwork." Alexandra was skilled at sewing and hoped to establish workshops throughout Russia where poor women could learn how to become proficient at crafts and thus complement their income. She started recruiting women from the aristocracy to help her with this new project of hers, hoping they could all sew, knit and embroider garments for the less fortunate as well. The women expected that either they or their loved ones would be given court promotions as a reward, and when they learned this would not be the case, many refused to help. These aristocratic women, of course, did not miss the opportunity to mock Alexandra for failing even at charity.

I do relate to her. Years of bullying can make it hard for anyone to feel at ease around crowds of strangers. I used to feel dizzy before talking to any new person.

Selling flowers was easy, a simple transaction, one I had rehearsed and practiced countless times, and I never talked to the potential buyers unless they engaged with me first.

Andrei was the one to pursue me. God bless him. It was at nursing school that I learned to socialize, but it was a slow process from which I obtained endless awkward and painful memories.

Alexandraʼs beliefs were not correct, now it is clear. She might have created them to hide from reality. It must have brought her peace of mind to think that while few prestigious members of society had ever favored her, the poor Russians, the people that truly mattered, loved her.

She was right about one thing though, us peasants are usually the most loyal of Russian peoples.

Nicholas and Alexandra celebrated Olgaʼs first birthday with remarkable glee. The toddler was already trying to communicate and was a rosy, happy child who smiled all the time just like her mother had as a baby. Alexandra was proud of her bright girl, whom she considered smart for her age.

Alexandraʼs second pregnancy proved to be even harder than the first one. The mother suffered from severe pain in her back and was barely able to stand. When Alexandra turned around, the sickness overwhelmed her. If she tried to sit up, her back would hurt again. If she moved her legs, they would cramp. The doctors warned her there was a significant chance she could have a miscarriage, so by the end of the gestation she was staying in bed all day long. The second pregnancy was agony.

Minnie advised Alix to eat raw ham in bed every morning before breakfast to improve her condition. Mother and daughter in law may not have been the best of friends, but they cared for each other nonetheless.

In January 1897, Xenia gave birth to a boy she and Sandro named Andrei. Nicholas and Alexandra hoped the child they were expecting would also be a boy. The succession had to be secured as soon as possible and Alexandraʼs health was beginning to deteriorate, making her dread the thought of having to go through a third pregnancy in a haste, without time to recover after bearing her second child. She wanted to rest for two or three years before dealing with another pregnancy, but she needed to provide Russia with an heir first. It was her duty.

It is said faith healing enthusiast Princess Militza brought four blind nuns from Kiev to Alexandra in the hopes of alleviating her anxiety.

Militza and her sister Anastasia were two Montenegrin princesses who had been sent to be educated in Russia's Smolny Institute of Noble Maidens. Both had then gone on to marry Grand Dukes and were rich and acknowledged among the aristocracy. Instead of attending innumerable balls as the rest of St. Petersburg society did, however, Milica and Anastasia directed all their energy towards their obsessions: mysticism, spirituality, and the occult as a whole. I bet they would have loved me.

I didn't see it, but the blind nuns from Kiev allegedly brought with them four especially blessed candles and four flasks of water from a well in Bethlehem, the birthplace of our Savior. After lighting the candles at each corner of Alexandra's bed and sprinkling her with the Bethlehem water, they assured her she would have a boy.

A deformed, half-blind crippled man named Mitya Kolyaba was also brought to the palace to work a miracle on the Empress. He supposedly had prophetic powers that only became apparent during his epileptic fits, something I am not certain about but could very well have been possible. When Mitya saw Alexandra for the first time, he remained silent, but sometime after that he prophesied the birth of a male child and was therefore sent gifts by the grateful imperial couple. Mitya Kolyaba was perhaps unable to see anything the first time he was summoned to the palace, and assuming that what he eventually foretold was a real prophecy, the vision he needed all along must have unexpectedly come to him later.

Nothing could calm Alexandra though. She was under considerable pressure. After such an uncomfortable pregnancy, Alexandra had been praying every day for a boy.

Nicholas and Alexandra waited for their second child at Peterhof Palace, and the baby was born on the 29th of May, or the 10th of June according to the new calendar. The pregnancy might have been harder, but although forceps were also needed, the labor was overall easier and the baby smaller this time.

When the effects of the chloroform administered during the delivery wore off, Alexandra glanced at the people surrounding her only to find anxious and troubled eyes staring back in silence.

"My God! It is again a daughter!" She hysterically cried. "What will the nation say? What will the nation say?!"

Needless to say, the baby girlʼs birth was a great shock to the exhausted Alexandra. In spite of this, both she and Nicholas warmed up to their new daughter immediately and without any problems. They would, however, continue their prayers and efforts to conceive a boy very soon after her birth.

Ever since the Pauline Laws were implemented by Emperor Paul I, it has been essentially impossible for any daughter of a Tsar to become Russia's next ruler. Providing Russia with a male heir was considered one of Alexandraʼs most important duties for this very reason.

The Tsesarevich or heir at the time was Nicholasʼs brother George, but he was becoming increasingly ill and spent most of his days by the Empireʼs southern borders, where the warm climate was said to be good for his health.

George was understandably dissatisfied about not having been able to meet his brother's daughters, and the fact he was still the heir caused him considerable uncertainty. George would be too sick to adequately perform his duties as Tsar if that were ever his fate, which is why he had truly hoped the baby would be a boy.

Nicholasʼs youngest brother Michael was next in line after George, but he had no interest in ruling and was more of a free spirit, too undisciplined for the arduous task of governing an entire nation.

These factors would motivate the imperial couple to keep trying regardless of the potential difficulties, but it should be noted that Nicholas and Alexandra were only human. The main reason they yearned a son was because, like most parents, they wanted their successor to be one of their children, their own flesh and blood created by the love they had for each other. All parents want their children to become inheritors of their legacy, and the fact this particular legacy consisted of an entire nation made little difference to Nicholas and Alexandra.

101 cannons boomed once again, announcing the arrival of another little Grand Duchess.

Just as they had done after the birth of their precious daughter Olga, Nicholas and Alexandra prayed to God for guidance as they thought of a perfect name for the second gem He had blessed them with. The Tsar was promptly reminded of the main female characters in Pushkinʼs "Eugene Onegin", a novel he certainly enjoyed. The sisters Olga and Tatiana.

"The second bright happy day in our family", Nicholas wrote in his diary, "at 10:40 in the morning the Lord blessed us with a daughter - Tatiana. Poor Alix suffered all night without shutting her eyes for a moment, and at 8 o'clock went downstairs to Amama's bedroom. Thank God this time it all went quickly and safely, and I did not feel nervously exhausted. Towards one o'clock the little one was bathed and Yanyshev read some prayers. Mama arrived with Xenia; we lunched together. At 4 o'clock there was a Te Deum. Tatiana weighs 83/4 pounds and is 54 centimeters long. Our eldest is very funny with her. Read and wrote telegrams."

The name "Tatiana" is not originally from Russia, it has Greek roots and means "the one who takes care of the home".

Tatiana was a beautiful baby with a small, delicate mouth and curly reddish brown hair. She had inherited most of her mother's fine features, although her long, wide-set gray eyes were downturned and almond shaped like her fatherʼs. Tatianaʼs semi-slanted eyes blended perfectly with her beautiful features, giving her an overall unique and lovely appearance that would make her stand out from the rest of her siblings.

Olga was deeply amused by her new sister, and the way the one-year-old acted around Tatiana was truly entertaining for the imperial couple. It was love at first sight.

"Why does she sleep so much?" Olga asked her parents when she first got to hold the baby in her motherʼs bed.

"She is a baby dear", Alexandra answered. "Babies sleep a lot to grow bigger."

"Why is she angry, mama?"

"She is not angry, Olga, she is just very tired, it took her a long time to arrive."

"Where did she go?"

"That is a question for another time, Olga."

Nicholas and Alexandra started doting on Tatiana as much as they continued to dote on Olga.

Being the wife of Grand Duke Vladimir and the mother of many boys, Grand Duchess Maria Pavlovna was suspiciously elated by Tatianaʼs birth. Now there was hope. Her husband, or maybe one of her children, could one day sit on the Russian throne.

In 1897, the same year Tatiana was born, a law was enacted to limit work hours and forbid night work for women and minors under seventeen years of age. These laws, however, didn't address the low wages that accompanied disproportionally long working hours for everyone else.

There was little done to protect the pay and safety of the workers. Trade unionism was banned, working conditions were terrible despite official factory inspections, and living conditions were similarly horrendous as developers struggled to deal with the growing demand for accommodation needed by the people emigrating from the countryside to cities such as St. Petersburg and Moscow. Many lived in communal houses similar to army quarters where sanitation and running water were limited and kitchens, toilets, and washrooms had to be shared. Others were forced to sleep in the factories where they worked, with little in terms of bedding.

In consequence of all of this, the mortality rate was absurdly high.

Laws protecting the laborers brought about under Alexander III and Nicholas II did nothing to appease their growing resentment against the government. The workers were instead beginning to grow more and more acquainted each day with anarchism and Marxism, among other ambitious ideologies.

Not as well informed as he needed to be, the Emperor was still somewhat interested in the strivings of his people for a better life. He changed the passport system to facilitate free movement, including travel to foreign countries. A voluntary program of insurance would be introduced under which, in exchange for one ruble per year, any person was entitled to free hospitalization.

As his father before him, Nicholas was immensely proud of being Russian, and he would actively instill that same level of patriotism in his children. He used to work wearing a simple Russian peasant blouse, leather boots, and baggy breeches. He would have loved nothing more than to change the official court outfits back to the ancient, more traditional costumes worn by the courtiers of the Rurik dynasty, but he had to abandon the idea after coming to understand just how expensive his dream would have been. Although fluent in English, French, and German, Nicholas spoke Russian more often than not, and he would seldom use any other language to communicate with his children. Only to Alexandra he regularly spoke in English, for her Russian became fluent only years after her arrival in the country. French was widely spoken and prestigious among the upper classes, but Nicholas encouraged his ministers to deliver their reports in Russian and did not appreciate the use of even lone foreign phrases or expressions.

Even the culture the Tsar favored was Russian. He liked to read Pushkin, Gogol, and Tolstoy. He loved to listen to Tchaikovsky, and his favorite ballet, "The Hunchback Horse", was based on a Russian tale. Out of all of his ancestors, Nicholas admired Tsar Alexei I the most. One time, Nicholas started discussing Russian history with an aide, and when the topic became relevant, the servant talked about Peter the Great with great enthusiasm. After thinking it through for a while, the Tsar explained his unpopular position: "I recognize my ancestor's great merits, but… he is the ancestor who appeals to me least of all. He had too much admiration for European culture… he stamped out Russian habits, the good customs, the usages, bequeathed by a nation."

Nicholas was not oblivious to the way Peter the Great had managed to build his capital city either.

During their reign, Nicholas and Alexandra donated plenty of money to churches and monasteries, enabling their numbers to peak. Nicholas himself took part in the laying of the first cornerstones and consecration of many of them.

The Tsar hoped to restore Russia to her ancient traditional culture, which had been abandoned by many educated people for modern European fashions. This is why he encouraged the construction of Orthodox churches in their old traditional architectural styles and commissioned the painting of ancestral Byzantine icons.

The Emperor liked the idea of educating the masses of peasant children through parish schools, and as a result, their numbers also grew. My brother himself was educated in one of these small institutions, the one that Gerasim himself supervised. My parents didn't allow me or my sisters to go. They used to say it was unnecessary for girls to learn as many useless things, that both of them were illiterate and could function just fine. Fortunately, their old fashioned beliefs didn't stop me from learning. Both my brother and Gerasim were great teachers.

My daughter will certainly go to school once she is old enough to do so. Not a parish school though. My husband says that priests only fill the children's heads with silly superstitions. I canʼt believe he is married to a seer.

In 1898, Nicholas and Alexandra hired an Irish nanny called Margaretta Eagar for their girls. The woman quickly became attached to the little girls, loving them almost as if they were her own daughters. Olga Alexandrovna, Nicholasʼs sister, also loved her brotherʼs baby girls dearly. Being quite young, the teenage girl was more like an older sister to them than an aunt. She had no problem playing with her nieces.

Olga and Tatiana were becoming closer with each passing day. Olga was obsessed with her little sister, and the two little playmates would often kiss each other's cheeks. Olga already played the piano, and she would try to teach her one-year-old sister Tatiana how to do the same. These piano sessions were a source of great laughter and amusement for the two baby girls. Their sounds of joy would blend with that of the piano and be heard all throughout the Alexander Palace.

In October of 1898, while Alexandra was trying to fall pregnant for the third time, she instructed one of her doctors in Yalta to study the theory of Austrian embryologist Dr. Leopold Schenk, who had written a book called "The Determination of Sex". She also asked her doctor to get in touch with the man.

Dr. Schenk argued that the sex of the child depended upon which ovary had ovulated: an unripe egg cell, released soon after menstruation, would produce female children, and a ripe one, male. The doctor also believed that nutrition played a key role in the development of sexual characteristics, and his advice focused on the nutrition of the mother up to and during pregnancy. A woman wanting a son, he claimed, should eat more meat in order to raise the level of blood corpuscles.

Dr. Schenk thought his eight sons were proof that his method worked. Alexandra became somewhat convinced and subsequently lived according to Dr. Schenk's precepts.

Generally speaking, Nicholas detested any sort of discussion regarding politics at informal contexts, and whenever his least favorite subject was brought up during leisure time, he deviated to the weather, the mountains, nature, families, activities, or literally anything else. Political exchanges could quickly turn ugly, and Nicholas despised confrontation.

Being peace-loving in nature, the Tsar made a strange suggestion to the world, unlike any before. In 1898, he proposed an international conference to study the problem of the armaments race, which was having debilitating economic, financial, and moral effects on the people of many nations. He wished for the states of the world to come together and pledge to cut their military forces and submit all international disputes to general arbitration.

Many accused Nicholas of wanting to stop the military growth of his rivals, more specifically Austria, for his own convenience, but the truth is Nicholas had recently invited Ivan Bliokh to an audience.

Bliokh was an important Russian Jewish railroad financier who had several facts, statistics, and predictions based on said statistics about the enormous casualty rates and grim horror that a war in the future would entail. The recent developments in weaponry such as machine guns, shells, and gas made any hypothetical conflict extremely dangerous. Ivan Bliokh himself had encouraged Nicholas in his endeavor.

Some people hailed the Tsar as "Nicholas the Pacific". Some others like Edward, Prince of Wales and heir to the British Empire, said his proposal was "the greatest nonsense and rubbish I ever heard of".

The result of Nicholasʼs undertaking, the Hague Peace Conference, was convened on May 18, 1899. Twenty European powers attended along with the United States, Mexico, Japan, China, Siam, and Persia.

There was no stop to the armaments race, but the participants issued a formal statement regarding newly officially agreed upon rules of warfare. A permanent court of arbitration was also established.

Nicholasʼs family was growing. Three-year-old Olga talked in Russian and English, and she adored her little sister Tatiana, who was becoming an extraordinarily beautiful child of dark, large eyes. Tatiana was always happy, only crying after being bathed and fed. This overall quiet, compliant, and placid behavior would remain constant throughout most of her life. Olga, on the other hand, was precocious and friendly. She freely talked to strangers in a very funny manner. When she turned two, an orphanage was opened to commemorate her.

Maria and Dmitri, the children of the Grand Duke Paul, were among Olga and Tatianaʼs earliest playmates.

Whenever she was in the comfortable security of her own home, near her children, Alexandra was easy going and cheerful around new people such as ladies in waiting. This didn't soothe Queen Victoria, who was beginning to worry about her granddaughter's seclusion and unpopularity. She knew it was important to earn the people's affection, but her dear Alix seemed to be more preoccupied with having a son than anything else.

In November of 1898, it became clear that Alexandra, who had twice fainted in mass, was pregnant again. She decided to keep these happy news a secret for a while until the severe nausea began forcing her to spend days on end lying down. This would continue for the duration of the gestation, as the baby was lying in an awkward position that aggravated Alexandraʼs sciatica.

Whenever she wasnʼt lying, Alexandra would sit on the balcony of the Livadia Palace or rest as her husband devotedly pushed her around on a wheelchair. Nicholas would also read "War and Peace" or "The History of Alexander I" to her daily.

Once again, the concerned Minnie advised her daughter-in-law to eat ham before breakfast.

It is impossible to overstate how much the Nicholas and Alexandra prayed for a son this time. They had not only prayed but also followed the advice they had obtained from several sources which claimed their precepts would work to conceive a male child. They had followed the instructions to the letter. Alexandra had eaten lots of meat indeed.

Trusting the experts and knowing it was unlikely to have three daughters in a row, the loving couple calmly and confidently waited for the long-awaited heir to come. Olga and Tatiana were encouraged to talk to the baby in Alixʼs womb. Tatiana was only two, so she would only say "hi" to the baby. "Hi" and some other baby talk I didn't fully understand. Three-year-old Olga was much more talkative. She took this task very seriously and started telling the baby not to forget to care for all of his "dollies" and toys once he was born.

On the 14th of June, or the 26th according to the new calendar, only 101 cannons boomed loudly throughout the streets of St. Petersburg after the birth of yet another Grand Duchess.

For the first time since he had become a father, Nicholasʼs immediate reaction to the babyʼs femaleness was one of strong dissatisfaction, so much so he had to take a long solitary walk to compose himself before returning home. Alexandra was disappointed as well, but her motherly instincts did not allow her to feel that way for too long. Delighted with joy, she soon started breastfeeding her baby. Nicholas also warmed up to his new daughter as soon as he returned to see her.

The couple prayed for God to bless their newborn with a bright, happy future, and then proceeded to ask Him to help them choose a fitting name for her. They ended up naming her Maria in honor of her grandmother Minnie, who the baby curiously grew up to resemble more than even her own parents.

I think the prophesy Mariaʼs name brought along has already been fulfilled. The name Maria can be taken to mean "a sea of bitterness" or "wished-for child". Many other parents in their position would have allowed the birth of three daughters in a row to embitter them, but Nicholas and Alexandra instantly put their worries aside to make Maria as much of a "wished for child" as any boy would have been.

"A happy day", Nicholas wrote in his diary, "the Lord sent us a third daughter - Maria, who was safely born at 12.10! Alix hardly slept all night, and towards morning the pains got stronger. Thank God it was all over quite quickly! My darling felt well all day and fed the baby herself… the evening was marvelous."

Despite loving her new baby girl more with each passing day, Alexandra was still worried about Mariaʼs gender. She would tell her close friends and family members that there was no shame in being a mother of girls exclusively, but that in a country such as Russia it was nonetheless vital to secure the succession.

The Empress was already disliked by the autocracy, and being unable to have a son was making her even more unpopular. She knew, of course, about this. She could not produce good small talk, she could not form connections with the aristocracy or win their love, and now, she could not even accomplish the most basic task for a Russian Empress.

The superstitious nature of the Russian people exacerbated the situation. The birth of a third daughter inevitably fueled the widespread belief that Alexandra's arrival in Russia coinciding with the dying days of Alexander III had been a bad omen.

Superstitious beliefs were no joke for Alix, as they are widespread among Orthodox people. Her people. After Maria had been dipped in the baptismal font three times as was traditional to do at christenings, her hair was cut at four places in the form of a cross. The removed hair was then rolled in wax and thrown into the font. According to Russian superstition, the good or evil in store for a child's future life depends on whether the hair sinks or swims. Little Maria's hair, just like that of her sisters before her, sank at once, which was taken to mean there was no need for alarm concerning her future.

The Empress was beginning to feel exceedingly pressured to have a son, an outcome neither she nor her husband had any control over. Had Alexandra been a regular woman, she would have probably remained perfectly content with her three daughters, but she was no average woman. Safeguarding the succession was considered exceptionally important for the happiness and stability of a nation with awfully rigid, traditional laws, and a long, violent history of coups and assassinations.

Grand Duke George, Nicholasʼs sickly brother, was rather disappointed by the birth of another niece. The unlucky man was still the heir, and he was yet again unable to assist the babyʼs baptism as he had very much hoped for.

George died in Georgia, where he had been living because the warm climate was said to be good for his health. Georgeʼs lungs, however, never improved. He was riding his motorcycle when it happened. He did not come back, so his staff sent out a search party. A peasant woman had discovered him collapsed by the side of the road, blood coming from his mouth as he struggled to breathe.

The news reached Nicholas by telegram and he had to tell his mother. She completely broke down. Minnie had now lost two sons, as one of her babies, Alexander, had died in infancy a long time ago.

George's death was a great shock for Nicholas, who was very fond of his childhood playmate and friend. George's sense of humor still brightened his days. It especially pained him to know his brother would never meet his nieces, something George had been worrying about with longing days before his death.

Minnie was heartbroken. Her precious son had died completely alone, without his family around. Without his mother.

As George was laid to rest in St. Peter and Paul Cathedral, Minnie stood still next to Xenia without tears throughout the entire ceremony, but as soon as the coffin was put down into the tomb, she abruptly grabbed her daughterʼs arm tightly, and with open and dead eyes, exclaimed: "Let's go home. Let's go home, I cannot stand it anymore!"

The Dowager Empress left so fast it was hard for the others to pick up on what was happening. Minnie sobbed inside her carriage for a long time after that. This was sadly not the last time she would outlive one of her children.

Grand Duke Michael had become the heir apparent.

After Mariaʼs birth, which had been so closely followed by Grand Duke George's death, the level of concern escalated in Russia and abroad, for the first time arousing real fears that the Empress would never have a boy.

Letters of advice began arriving from England, France, Belgium, and even as far as from North America, Latin America, and Japan. They all offered their folk secrets for begetting a son. Many correspondents solicited thousands of dollars from the imperial couple in return for divulging their answer.

Other unsolicited advice was offered from within Russia: "Ask your wife, the Empress, to lie on the left-hand side of the bed", said one of these, instructing that Nicholas should lie on the right. If the husband mounts his wife from the left, a girl will supposedly be born, if from the right, a boy. I have undoubtedly heard many people claim this in my village, but I doubt there is any truth to it. My parents have known about that particular "secret" for a long time and yet I only have one brother.

It is unlikely that the imperial couple read, let alone applied, all of the techniques, but it is possible they selected and tried a few. Nicholas, however, was perfectly happy with his personal life. After his brother's terrible death, he had found comfort in his family, especially his new baby daughter.

"I dare complain the least", he wrote in a note to his wife, "having such happiness on earth, having a treasure like you my beloved Alix, and already the three little cherubs. From the depth of my heart do I thank God for all His blessings, in giving me you. He gave me paradise and has made my life an easy and happy one."

Whenever Alexandra was reminded of the heir she had yet to provide the nation with, Nicholas would make jokes to soothe her distress.

"Should we never have a son, my tall, handsome younger brother Michael would make a fine Tsar one day, do you not think, darling?" He once said to his wife. "And this little girl is the most beautiful gift God has ever given us".

Maria was the most gorgeous child one could ever imagine. She had a tiny nose, curly golden hair, dark eyebrows, and a perfectly round little face that matched her round blue eyes, which were so big they would one day be known as "Mariaʼs saucers". Only my daughter seems to have been a prettier baby, but I can admit a motherʼs love can be blinding.

Many people noticed that Maria looked like one of Botticelliʼs angels and bore herself as one as well. Maria was born good. She was incredibly well behaved for an infant and later a toddler. Nicholasʼs oldest uncle, Grand Duke Vladimir Alexandrovich Romanov, called Maria "The Amiable Baby" because of her good and peaceful nature. She was always so cute and smiling, and hers was the sweetest smile possible.

Maria was also an uncommonly affectionate baby, as if she had learned to love quicker than other children.

"This baby was born with the very smallest trace of original sin possible", her nanny Margaretta Eagar used to claim, and no one who knew Maria would have dared to disagree.

I canʼt help but be reminded of the mother of the Saviour Himself, the Theotokos. She was also named Maria and was undoubtedly sinless throughout her entire life.

Not long after Maria was born, the family traveled abroad and Margaretta Eagar joined them. They went to Denmark and Kiel to visit several relatives. Their next stop was Wolfsgarten, a hunting mansion in Hesse where they stayed with Alexandraʼs brother Ernie, his wife Victoria Melita, and their four-year-old daughter Elizabeth.

Little Ella was a sweet and merry child of almost black hair and light grey-blue eyes. Being only a few months older than Olga, Elizabeth took great interest in her cousins, placing her own toys in Olga and Tatianaʼs room for them to use.

Olga and Tatiana became friends with Ella the moment they met her, and they would continue to be so for a long time, as their parents often arranged playdates for the little girls.

The three cousins spent most of their time together playing with their toys, but they also enjoyed running outside. Ella did not have any sisters herself and wished for one very much. Since she had liked Tatiana most of all for her cheerful disposition to play whatever Ella chose to play, the little Hessian girl begged the adults of the household to let her adopt Tatiana as her little sister.

"You will not miss her as much as you would miss Olga or the baby", Elizabeth claimed. When she was told she wouldn't be able to adopt Tariana, Ella asked about the baby, Maria, and concluded that she and her nanny, Miss Wilson, would be able to take care of her. With great interest, Elizabeth learned all the details of how the adults changed the babyʼs diapers until she thought she had mastered them. Ella then asked her aunt, Alexandra, to give the baby to her. She was, of course, denied this innocent wish by the mother, who shook her head as she smiled at the funny child.

With all of this failing, Ella started assuring everyone that Maria was a very ugly baby anyways, and that everyone in Russia would be much better and happier without that stupid little thing. Sadly for Ella, she was still unable to adopt any of her cousins. The poor child looked so sad when her friends left.

The Romanovs and the Dukes of Hesse visited the city of Darmstadt twice and went shopping with the children. They went to a toy shop once, and the girls were told that they might choose whatever they liked for themselves and also for relations and friends at home. Olga looked at the toys and finally chose the very smallest one she could find.

"Thank you very much", Olga said politely. The shop people showed her more attractive toys, but Olga would always reply: "No, thank you, I don't want to take it."

Miss Eagar asked Olga why she would not buy the toys, saying that the shop owners would be very sad if she did not take more, and that she could not leave the shop without doing so.

Olga then said: "But the beautiful toys belong to some other little girls, I am sure, and think how sad they would be if they came home and found we had taken them while they were out."

Margaretta explained the situation to her. They were in a toy shop, not in any little girlʼs house. Miss Eagar explained Olga how shops worked, how the shopkeepers earned money by making lots of different children happy, and how it would make them incredibly happy to have a little Grand Duchess such as Olga buying toys in their shop.

Olga understood. She and Tatiana ended up choosing many more toys.

Nicholas and Alexandra said goodbye to the Dukes of Hesse and then headed towards Postdam, where they visited the German Emperor and Empress. At that time, Nicholas and Wilhelm, the German Emperor, were friends as well as cousins, although Nicholas and Alexandra secretly disliked some of Wilhelmʼs most eccentric personality traits, such as his sense of humor, indiscretion, obsession with showing off his military power in endless parades, and over theatricality.

Wilhelm was blissfully oblivious to this and genuinely believed Nicholas admired and looked up to him. In truth, the Tsar and his wife would privately joke about their cousin in the most merciless manner.

Olga and Tatiana had tea with two of the German Emperorʼs children, who then took Olga for a drive in their pony cart. After this, the family returned to Russia.

While staying in Moscow, the Empress thought she would like to have her children's portraits painted, so an artist was summoned to do so. Olga, Tatiana, and Maria were four years, two and a half years, and a few months old respectively. The artist began by taking innumerable photographs of the children, but then, he suddenly decided he could not paint from photographs, as it would not be "artistic" to do so.

Margaretta begged the man to remember that the girls were babies, but he insisted upon them sitting in front of him for three or four hours a day. This was, of course, very hard and boring for the poor children, so much so that one day, the little Grand Duchess Olga lost her temper.

"You are a very ugly man, and I don't like you a bit", she said to the artist.

Amusingly, the adult man was exceedingly offended by the words of the bored child.

"You are the first lady who has ever said I was ugly", he replied. "And moreover, I'm not a man, I'm a gentleman!"

More hilarious than his response to the insult was his reaction to Miss Eagarʼs laughter. The nanny couldn't be more amused by the offense he had taken at the little girlʼs comment. It would not be the first time Grand Duchess Olga bluntly spoke her mind.

Growing up, Grand Dukes and Grand Duchesses slept on camp beds unless they were sick and received cold showers in the morning. It was an imperial tradition. Olga had missed her soft crib at first but eventually gotten used to the camp bed. She told Miss Eagar it made her proud to think herself a big girl, no longer in need of a crib.

The family usually spent Christmas at Tsarskoye Selo, where Alexandra would put up many Christmas trees. Margaretta and the children had a tree for themselves. It was fixed into a musical box that played a German Christmas hymn and turned round and round.

Alexandra would sometimes let her two older little girls sleep near the Christmas tree, which must have been like magic to the children, who loved those beautiful ornaments. There were no Christmas trees in my village, but Andrei does put them on, and my daughter and I adore them. The tradition comes from Germany.

The children became awfully sad whenever Christmas ended.

On New Year's Day, according to the old Russian calendar, there was a great ceremony in St. Petersburg. The Emperor, Empress, and Dowager Empress would go to church wearing full court dresses.

The Empress looked magnificent in her court dress of white satin, with its long train of brocade, seven chains of diamonds round her neck, and a girdle of the same sparkling gems around her waist, the ends falling to the hem of her dress. On her head, she wore the kokoshnik, a crescent-shaped headdress, in white brocade, lavishly decorated with large single stone diamonds. A rich lace veil descended from it and hung at the back almost to her knees.

The little girls were always delighted to see their mother as gorgeously attired. They ran around her in speechless admiration, giggling with joy. One time, the Grand Duchess Olga clapped her hands and exclaimed: "Oh! Mama, you are just like a lovely Christmas tree!"

The Grand Duchesses Olga and Tatiana Nicholaivna loved to listen to stories, and sometimes they liked making them up. On one occasion, Tatiana told Olga a story:

"So, my little girl and my niece went into the wood and a big wolf ate my little girl, so she went to heaven."

"Oh no!" Olga cried, horrified at such theology. "She could not have gone to heaven, because the wolf ate her, and God does not allow wolves to go to heaven. She is walking about the wood inside the wolf." Tatiana calmly accepted this wonderful correction.

Olga was becoming more prone to analyzing everything she was told. Tatiana, on the other hand, remembered most of what she was told in an accurate manner, accepting any new information as it was given to her.

Alexandra told whoever would listen that Olga was a very intelligent child. She was already a promising pianist and had quite an advanced vocabulary for a four-year-old. Tatiana was didn't often come across as exceedingly clever, but she seemed to understand everything she was explained.

On one occasion, Miss Eagar told Olga the story of Joseph and his brothers. She was deeply interested.

"What a shame!" Olga exclaimed.

"Yes, it was indeed a terrible shame for them to be so jealous and so cruel to their young brother", Margaretta agreed.

"I mean it was a shame of the father", Olga replied. "Joseph was not the eldest, and the beautiful coat should have been given to the eldest son. The other brothers knew that, and perhaps that was why they put him in the pit."

Explanations were useless, all of Olgaʼs sympathies were given to Reuben. She must have firmly believed being the eldest, as she was, had to count for something.

Olga was angry with King David for killing Goliath.

"David was much younger and smaller, and poor Goliath never expected him to throw stones at him", she had spoken her mind upon listening to the famous Bible story for the very first time.

She thought Esau deserved the birthright. He, and not Jacob, had been born first.

When Nicholas first spoke to his daughter about Russian history, Olga was inevitably disappointed by the fact the older half-brother of Peter the Great, Ivan, had been made to rule along with his younger brother, and no rationales about Ivanʼs condition convinced her he shouldn't have ruled on his own as the rightful Tsar.

"Jack the Giant Killer" gave Olga no pleasure. It upset her idea that might was right.

One time, there was a cinematograph exhibition for the children and some of their friends. Part of it showed two little girls playing in a garden. Each of them had a table covered with toys.

Suddenly the bigger girl snatched a toy from the little one who, however, held on to it and refused to give it up. The elder seized a spoon and used it to hit the little one, who quickly relinquished the toy and began to cry. Tatiana started weeping too upon seeing the little girl being hit, but Olga remained incredibly quiet. Once the exhibition was over, she said:

"I can't think that we saw the whole of that picture."

"I know", Margaretta nodded at child, probably hoping the film had taught her a valuable lesson. "I had hoped that in the end the naughty big sister was punished, but we have seen enough, I am glad we donʼt have to see that naughty girl anymore."

"I am sure that the toy belonged at first to the big sister", Olga asserted, "and she was kind and lent it to her sister, then she wanted it back, and the little sister would not give it up, so she had to beat her."

Margaretta looked down at the girl with amusement and probably gave up trying to convince her of anything related to being the eldest.

Tatiana used to hug her mother at any given opportunity, while Olga would call for her father and run to him everytime he was around. Nicholas and Alexandra would joke about each daughter having a favorite. Naturally, this didn't mean Tatiana loved being carried in her fatherʼs arms any less or that Olga didn't enjoy her time around her mother as she taught both girls how to pray, knit, play the piano, or quite simply, manners.

Alexandra worked hard to make sure her girls were always polite. On one occasion, the Prince of Siam, a Southeastern Asian country, came to visit the Empress. The little Grand Duchesses, four and two at the time, were in the room. They ran forward and examined the newcomer with deep interest, walking slowly around him and regarding him with beaming smiles of amusement. The prince looked different from most people they saw on a daily basis.

"Come, shake hands with this gentleman, Tatiana", the Empress said to her daughter.

"That is not a gentleman, mama", Tatiana laughed, "that's only a monkey."

The Empress opened her eyes wide, clearly embarrassed. "You are a monkey yourself, Tatiana".

The young prince laughed heartily though, and he subsequently became good friends with the girls.

During one of the family's stays at Spala, a Polish village where they had a hunting lodge, a surprise was prepared for the children, much to their parents' delight.

In a little orchard, a teahouse had been built. About a dozen tame deer would approach the area along with pheasants, hares, and other creatures.

These animals would all come and eat from the girls' hands. The deer, in particular, would also follow Margaretta about everywhere and lay their pretty heads on her arm. The Grand Duchess Tatiana called them "the pretty creatures", and by this name they were henceforth known. The girls were incredibly pleased. They petted the animals with tenderness as they friendlily argued over whom the deer loved more. Even baby Maria was able to enjoy herself from the arms of her mother, who watched with pleasure the way her beautiful baby daughter seemingly followed the deer with her eyes. The motherʼs amusement became pure sheer joy whenever her little baby laughed.

A further surprise awaited Olga and Tatiana in the shape of a little carriage drawn by a pair of goats, each led by a boy wearing a Polish costume.

Spending time having fun with his daughters made work even more tedious for Nicholas by comparison. Alexandra was fortunate enough to be able to spend more time with them. She kept teaching the oldest two how to knit, embroider, and make beds among other things she was good at. As an incredibly involved mother, she hated having to leave her daughters for official functions. She wanted to spend and enjoy every waking moment with her unusually affectionate little Maria, for she knew as all mothers do that the toddlerhood stage is both endearing and short. Maria was, however, one of those little girls who love their papa the most. She always loved Nicholas very deeply.

As soon as she was able to walk, Maria started trying to escape from the nurseries in order to go to her "papa", who she would call for whenever she saw him. If Maria's efforts were successful and Nicholas happened to hear or see his daughter chasing after him, he would always melt with love, wait for her arrival, and carry her around for a few minutes. I would venture to say Maria was, at least for a while, the Emperorʼs favorite.

When the family was vacationing in Crimea and Maria was a year old, she toddled her way into the balcony where Nicholas was having breakfast. Margaretta quickly came after her, but the Emperor requested a chair for the baby.

"It touches me", he said, "to see so much affection…"

"Donʼt say wasted, Your Majesty," Miss Eagar broke in quickly.

"Not wasted, but deeply reciprocated", said the Emperor.

Miss Eagar was fascinated by politics. One time, while she was bathing Maria with a friend, they got caught up in a discussion regarding a French political scandal and took her eyes off the toddler for only a few seconds. Maria scrambled out of the bath, naked and dripping, and started running up and down the palace corridor in search of her papa. Fortunately, Mariaʼs aunt Olga appeared just in time, picked Maria up, and carried her back to Miss Eagar, who was still talking about French politics.

Despite her parents' affection for her, baby Maria's birth had been met with dismay by everyone but some members of her family. The nation still waited for an heir, and the birth of another Grand Duchess had been nothing remarkable for most people, especially those affected by the economic downturn that marked the early 1900s, leading to a lack of jobs and regular income. This was disastrous for those migrating to the cities looking for work.

Even Maria's older sisters, Olga and Tatiana, slowly began disregarding her. At first, the sisters would beam with excitement whenever they got to hold the new baby. Later, they started viewing little Maria as another one of their little dolls. The baby certainly looked like a doll, so Olga and Tatiana cared for her with the help of their mother and treated her as such, providing her with unwavering attention and showering her with kisses the smiling baby seemed to appreciate. When Maria started learning how to walk, Olga and Tatiana helped her with contagious excitement. They would squeal with joy every time their little sister made progress.

But once Maria had learned to walk without help, this excitement dissipated. Olga and Tatiana started thinking of their baby sister as an unneeded addition to the family.

The two oldest sisters already did everything together. They played dolls, rode their small ponies, played house, and pretended to cook or have tea parties like normal little girls. They went on carriage rides and picnics with their parents, and were so close in age they understood each other as twin sisters would. There was no need for someone else.

Maria also proved to be such a good child that Nicholas and Alexandra began to hold up their youngest daughter as an example to their eldest. Olga and Tatiana naturally began to feel jealous and jointly started calling Maria the "stepsister" while agreeing to leave her out of their established games, much to Miss Eagar and Alexandra's displeasure.

"Remember that in all fairytales, it is the eldest sisters who are the stepsisters and the third is the real sister", Margaretta tried to tell the little girls, probably referring to Cinderella, who was the one who married the prince in the end.

The little girls did not listen and kept shutting Maria out of their games. Sometimes they even tripped their sister on purpose as she walked.

"You cannot expect baby Maria to stand this kind of treatment", the nanny would say. "Someday you will be punished".

Despite their occasional childish cruelty, Margaretta found the girls endearing, especially bright, witty, and quizzical Olga.

By 1900, the three little Romanov sisters were attracting considerable attention even abroad, with much discussion of which was the prettiest, cleverest, or most endearing in the magazines. One British magazine said:

The flower of the flock, as far as looks are concerned, is Grand Duchess Tatiana. She is a real beauty, with dark pathetic eyes, and a wistful little mouth. But the Grand Duchess Olga, the eldest, is such a hearty, merry child, everybody loves her.

The author of the article also ventured to imagine a future in which Olga became Queen Consort of England. Other magazines destined for little girls invented or reported stories about the little Grand Duchesses accompanied by pictures.

Despite having dozens of servants, Alexandra spent so much time with her daughters that ladies at court began to say she was not an Empress but only a mother.

Maria Feodorovna strongly disapproved of this. An Empress should be visible, Minnie thought, but Alexandra refused to make a show out of herself or her children. She preferred to play an active role in other ways, like doing philanthropic work as her mother before her. This included establishing workhouses for the poor, crèches for working mothers, a school for training nurses at Tsarskoye Selo, and another one for housemaids. Alexandra was particularly concerned about the high infant mortality rate and the welfare of women during pregnancy, so she also set about organizing midwives for rural areas.

Since producing an heir was also one of her duties, Alexandra kept reading reputable science magazines that claimed to have the answer to her problem. She ate the things she was told to eat, tried to conceive her child the way the magazines explained she was supposed to in order to get a baby of the sex of her choosing, and following advice from all over the world.

Ever since Olgaʼs birth, Alexandra had prayed fervently to present the nation with an heir. Her piousness had only increased with the arrival of her two youngest daughters.

"I have prayed for so long and with such blind faith that I am sure God will bless us this time", she said to Nicholas. "I started Dr. Schenkʼs diet too late before", she told her husband. "This time, it will work".

In October 1900, Alexandra was once again pregnant, and this time she had no doubts. She expected a boy.

Nicholas and Alexandra were relaxing in Livadia with their five, three, and one-year-old daughters when their peaceful holiday was disrupted. Nicholas had fallen ill with typhus and would spend five weeks in bed suffering from agonizing pain in his back and legs, becoming very thin and weak.

Despite her pregnancy, Alexandra nursed her husband back to health and proved herself to be exceedingly capable. She allowed almost nobody near her precious husband and handled urgent documents regarding affairs of state to keep the Tsar from worrying. Nicholas was flattered by his wife's excessive care and grew to love her even more if that is even possible.

One-and-a-half-year-old Maria suffered a lot through her father's illness. Her grief at not seeing him was excessive. Miss Eagar had to keep the door of the day nursery locked or she would have escaped into the corridor and disturbed him with her efforts to get to him. Every evening after tea she sat on the floor just inside the nursery door listening intently for any sounds from his room. If she heard his voice by any chance, she would stretch out her little arms and call: "Papa, papa".

When the Empress came to see the children on the first evening after the illness had been pronounced typhus, she happened to be wearing a miniature of the Emperor set as a brooch. In the midst of her sobs and tears, little Marie caught sight of this. She climbed on the Empress's knee and covered the pictured face with kisses, and on no evening all through his illness would she go to bed without kissing this miniature.

During the course of the Tsarʼs illness, the question of who would succeed the Emperor if he died arose. Alexandra had yet to give him an heir.

When the Tsar's condition seemed critical, Sergei Witte, the bright Minister of Finance, was summoned to a meeting where he was asked for his opinion. He pointed out that the law left no doubt about the succession: Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich would immediately succeed. Sergei was then told that the Empress was pregnant and that there was a possibility she might give birth to a boy.

Michael Alexandrovich was the heir, Nicholas and Alexandra knew this, but now that it was a real possibility, neither Nicholas nor Alexandra wished for 21-year-old Michael to accede to the throne in preference to their own daughter, Olga, or the child Alexandra was carrying.

Alexandra insisted that she be nominated regent until her son came of age. Although dangerously ill, Nicholas was consulted and sided with his wife:

"No, no!" He exclaimed. "Misha will get everything into a mess, he is so easily imposed on."

The other ministers in Yalta took that into consideration and suggested for the succession to be postponed for a few months until the Empress gave birth, but Witte replied that the succession law did not take such a contingency into account. The law was clear: If the Emperor were to die without having begotten a son, Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich must succeed. To act otherwise would be illegal and lead to grave disorders. In any case, no one could predict that the Empress would bear a son. The others agreed.

Then the aged Grand Duke Michael Nikolaevich, the son of Nicholas I, asked Witte what would happen if the Empress were to bear a son after Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich had ascended the throne. Sergei Witte replied that only Grand Duke Michael Alexandrovich could answer the question definitely, but that he believed that Michael, being a very decent and honorable man, would give up the throne in favor of his nephew. After they had come to an agreement, the ministers decided to inform the Empress about it in private.

Alexandra was certainly distraught upon learning of their decision.

"But what do you mean?" She asked in a fragile voice. "My baby is a boy, it is Nicky's boy, so surely when he is born... even if Nicky isn't here... I mean... no! That can't be!"

The decision prevailed despite her protests, and this had a profound impact on Alexandra. It caused her to grow antipathetic towards Sergei Witte despite the ministerʼs intelligence and efforts to boost Russia's industrialization.

From this day on, Alexandra would become outraged at the mere thought of anyone but a child of hers succeeding Nicholas. She also grew increasingly afraid that the throne would be taken from her unborn son by plotters in court circles, and despite being on friendly terms with them, she started mistrusting Nicholas's extended family. Two people in particular. Grand Duke Vladimir and his wife, Maria Pavlovna or "Miechen". The couple had three sons: Cyril, Boris, and Andrei. All of them adults, all of them potentially eligible, quite unlike Alexandra's three daughters.

Miechen was known for being ambitious, regularly hosting many fancy parties, and having her own court, so much so that Minnie had an open rivalry with her and had nicknamed her "The Empress Miechen".

Alexandra decided she would secure the throne for her future son, at any cost.

In the aftermath of his illness and worried about his daughter's dynastic interests, Nicholas instructed government ministers to draft a decree to the effect that Olga would succeed to the throne if he should die without a son and heir, but he was advised against this by ministers who worried about the stability of the Empire. Nicholas knew that his brother Michael didn't want the throne, but the other male dynasts would most definitely have opposed his decision. The decree was never published.

While their father was ill, the three Romanov sisters were seen around Yalta on a carriage, chattering, asking questions, and bowing when the people passing by took their hats off to them. The locals were delighted but gossiped among themselves that the youngest daughter was living proof that Schenk's methods did not work.

The girls were completely unspoiled. They were always modestly dressed in cheap white dresses, short English stockings, and plain, light shoes. All heavy etiquette and luxury were forbidden. Before the Tsarʼs illness, the Tsar and Tsarina had often gone to visit and play with their children in the nursery.

Olga was at five very kindhearted and of noble character. She was already talented at music. Although she and Tatiana had a little English donkey, the Tsar had recently indulged Olga's request to ride side saddle "as grown-up people do" after she had admired the Cossack members of the Tsar's Escort.

Charming Tatiana, meanwhile, was of a gay and lively temperament, always quick and playful in her movements.

When Nicholas recovered and she was finally allowed to see him, Maria's joy was unparalleled.

The family spent Christmas in Crimea, where holly and ivy were used to decorate the house.

The children were greatly charmed with the decorations and pulled each other under the mistletoe for kissing purposes. Even little Maria took part in these games. They had a Christmas tree as usual, and Maria was especially delighted with it, as she could not remember anything of the kind. She would often say to the Emperor: "Papa, did you ever see anything so beautiful?"

Before they left for St. Petersburg, Nicholas and Alexandra received news that Queen Victoria had died on January the 22nd. Victoria's son, Edward, had succeeded her as King of England.

The doctors did not allow the pregnant Alexandra to travel to England for the funeral, so she attended a memorial service at the English Church in the capital instead. Alexandra wept openly and supported by Nicholas. She could not believe she would never see her kind, witty grandmother again. An England without Queen Victoria seemed almost incomprehensible as well. This was the first and only time Alexandra was seen displaying her feelings publicly.

The death of Queen Victoria not only made Alexandra grieve, it also took away a huge source of encouragement for her. The Queen had written to Alexandra regularly, addressing the importance of developing in high society. She was deeply worried about Alexandra's shyness and therefore would send her lots of advice. Now, without her grandmother for guidance, Alexandra continued closing herself deeper into her little world, which accepted few people other than her husband and daughters.

The loss of her beloved grandmamma was a heavy shock, but fortunately, Alexandra remained uncharacteristically healthy during this fourth pregnancy.

Unhappy with their already good social status, the Montenegrin sisters had been wanting to become closer to Empress Alexandra Feodorovna for a long time. On their knees, the sisters had previously sworn that they would devote their lives to helping her conceive a boy. Touched by their loyalty and devotion, Alexandra trusted them fully. One of the healers they brought to help the Empress was Doctor Encausse, a Spanish-born French physician, hypnotist, and popularizer of occultism also known as "Papus". He visited Russia several times and gave Nicholas and Alexandra sessions starting in 1901. He served as an adviser, giving spiritual recommendations to the sovereigns on how to rule and assuring them they would have a boy in time.

But one of the most influential men introduced by the Montenegrin sisters to Alexandra was a French man called Philippe Nazier-Vachot. Around 50 years of age, the short man had black hair and mustache.

Philippe's background was shadowy and dubious. At the age of thirteen, he began claiming extra-sensory powers. At twenty-three he started practicing medicine without a license, offering treatment with "psychic fluids and astral forces".

Preposterous. I canʼt even imagine the number of poor, sick people he tricked into giving him their hard-earned money.

In 1884 Philippe started claiming he could predict the sex of a child to be born and that he could even use his "magnetic" powers to change their sex inside the womb.

Philippe's occult medicine consisted of hypnosis sessions with patients, and his business prospered despite having been fined several times for practicing without any education.

It is possible Philippe was like me. It is likely he had visions of sorts because he was right more often than not, but he was often selective on which patients he accepted. He took some time before declaring whether he would be able to predict or change the baby's sex, and only then did he claim to be capable.

In any case, just because someone has visions doesn't mean they are not a charlatan. We are human, flawed, and capable of being corrupted just like everyone else. I once tried to make money off my ability, both in my village and at Moscow. I stopped once I realized I was profiting from visions that were not always certain or accurate, and that I was claiming to be able to see anything people wanted me to, when in fact, some days I am not able to see anything at all.

Xenia, Minnie, and Ella were alarmed and warned Nicholas and Alexandra to stay away from Philippe, but all attempts to discredit him in their eyes failed.

Nicholas refused to listen even after the Okhrana made a report on Philippe's unscientific practices. He simply dismissed the agent who had prepared the report. Nicholas and Alexandra took Philippe's words of pseudo-mystical wisdom and claims that Russia was destined to conquer the Far East at face value. Soon they had started referring to him as "our friend".

Alexandra genuinely believed that if she wasn't expecting a boy before, she was expecting him now, for Philippe had absolutely convinced her that he was able to change the baby's sex in the womb and that he had seen the boy Alexandra was then expecting in a vision. The position of the stars guaranteed a male heir, or so Philippe claimed.

"He is coming now, dearest", Alexandra woke Nicholas in bed one morning. "I can feel him. Our boy is here, my love."

Before the child was born at Peterhof, five-year-old Olga became ill with typhoid fever. She was in bed for five weeks and became very pale and thin. Her long blonde hair had to be cut short.

Alexandra tried to spend most of the day with her oldest daughter, and the girl appreciated having her mother around. Alexandra's presence seemed to be a huge source of comfort for the ailing Olga, so, for as long as she was able to, Alexandra would sit with her.

Margaretta Eagar nursed her charge day and night as well. It seemed likely at the time that Olga would not survive.

Olga longed to see her sister Tatiana and was incredibly pleased when the doctor said Tatiana might pay her a visit for just five minutes. Miss Eagar went down and fetched her to see Olga.

Tatiana stood by the side of the bed and conversed in a most amiable and formal manner with her little sick sister. Margaretta was rather surprised, and when the five minutes were up, she told Tatiana she had to go back.

When she left the sick room, Tatiana exclaimed: "You told me you were bringing me to see Olga and I have not seen her!" Miss Eagar told her that the little girl in bed was indeed her sister.

Tatiana cried with great grief:

"That little pale thin child is my dear sister Olga! Oh no, no! I cannot believe it!" She wept bitterly at the change, and it was difficult to comfort and persuade her that Olga would soon be herself again.

There was concern that Alexandra's efforts to look after Olga would trigger a premature birth, but all was well.

On the 5th of June, or the 18th of June according to the new calendar, the cannon began to fire: 99… 100… 101… but the 102nd gun was never fired.

Alexandra had given birth to a fourth daughter in the familyʼs palace by the sea of Finland, Peterhof, the place where all of the children but Olga had also been born.

When the doctor asked the Empress whether she wished to hold her new daughter, a look of puzzlement crossed Alexandra's face, revealing that the possibility hadn't even occurred to her.

The labor had been quick and without complications. There was no time for Nicholas's mind to register any sort of disappointment. The Emperor and Empress secluded themselves in their room with the infant and discussed their feelings.

Nicholas and Alexandra had another daughter, and for that, they were grateful. They did not look or act sad nor discouraged. Peacefulness and contentedness inhabited their big room, their little world.

Tatiana and Maria bonded over their shared love for the new baby as they lay in bed with their mother, father, and sister cozily. Almost two-year-old Maria was as affectionate as always, so their parents had to remind her to be careful while kissing the baby.

Nicholas and Alexandra named their new daughter Anastasia during prayer. From the Greek anastasis, "Anastasia" means "resurrection". This could be the most glorious name of all!

For us Russian Orthodox people, the name is heavily linked to the fourth-century martyr St. Anastasia, who had succored Christians imprisoned for their faith and was known as the "breaker of chains".

"At 3 o'clock in the morning", Nicholas wrote, "Alix started to have strong pains. At 4 o'clock I got up, went to my room and dressed. at exactly 6 o'clock in the morning a little daughter, Anastasia, was born. Everything went off splendidly, quite quickly, and thank God without complications!"

In honor of both his new daughter and the saint she had been named after, Nicholas ordered the release of the students imprisoned in St Petersburg and Moscow for having rioted the previous winter.

Anastasia was not a usual name in the imperial family, but in naming her thus, Nicholas and Alexandra were perhaps expressing a profoundly held belief that everything was in God's hands, that after pain and death they had been promised resurrection, that their sick daughter would recover if they prayed hard enough, and that maybe, someday, the Lord would answer their prayers. The Russian monarchy, and thus their troubled nation, might yet be resurrected by the birth of a son.

Upon learning of the new baby's sex, Philippe Nazier-Vachot told the imperial couple that his confusion had been a sign that the child was destined for greatness. This way, he would not be discarded by the Emperor and Empress for what is to me clear evidence of his charlatanry.

Anastasia's loving parents, of course, believed Philippe. Strangely enough, despite knowing Philippe was just looking after his own interests, I do believe he was telling the truth. He really did see a boy when he had a vision of Anastasia.

The little scene where baby Olga meets her newborn sister Tatiana and asks funny questions is inspired by a very cute comic from an artist on instagram called blendedislandartist, who actually drew the cute moment in question.