Moscow. July 17, 1918.
Doroteya Filippovna Lavrova.
"My God! What a disappointment! A fourth girl!" Exclaimed Grand Duchess Xenia upon hearing of Anastasiaʼs birth.
It was June 1901. The Russian people and the extended imperial family were almost completely disillusioned.
"Forgive us, Lord, if we all felt disappointment instead of joy. We were so hoping for a boy, and it's a fourth daughter", wrote Grand Duke Konstantin, a grandson of Nicholas I.
The little girl's birth had caused agitation in a nation still waiting for a boy. It did not take long for newspapers both in Russia and abroad to make sensationalist claims. Exaggerated remarks on the imperial coupleʼs disappointment were abundant, as well as completely false rumors of divorce.
"There is much rejoicing, although there is a popular undercurrent of disappointment, for a son had been most keenly hoped for", a Daily Mail reporter wrote. "The legitimate hopes of the Tsar and Tsarina have so far been cruelly frustrated, whatever may be their private parental feelings be towards their four little daughters".
But it was in Russia where the news of the fourth baby's birth was met with the most superstitious resentment.
"We said so, didn't we?!" French diplomat Maurice Paléologue reported. "The German, the nemka, has the evil eye. Thanks to her nefarious influence, our Emperor is doomed to catastrophe."
For the Russian peasantry, it seemed clear by 1901 that the Empress was not beloved in heaven, otherwise, she would have given birth to a son already. God was angry at her, or so they said. I remember my mother herself exclaiming these things. I remember everyone agreeing.
Despite the contentment they experienced upon meeting Anastasia for the first time, the negativity coming from the outside world eventually had its effect on Nicholas and Alexandra, making them experience an immense disappointment, a disappointment that, for the first time, the imperial couple was unable to conceal from other people as much as they tried.
Oo
Nicholas and Alexandra loved Anastasia by virtue of her being their own flesh and blood, and the world's reaction to her birth had made them both overly protective of her. The little girl's existence was still a blessing to them, and recognizing it was not the same for many members of their own extended family could make them extremely emotional at times.
"How cruel they are", the Empress once said to her husband as she looked down at baby Anastasia, who slept comfortably in her arms. Nicholas and Alexandra were on the balcony. They had been watching Tatiana and Maria run up the stairs of the palace, giggling and holding each other's hands. "In one year, she will be there, playing with the other girlies", Alexandra continued. "I am happy to have this child, and they don't know what our friend Philippe said about her. She is special".
"Yes, sunny", Nicholas answered, leaning in to look at his daughter. "If God sent her to us, it is clear that it was for a purpose. She belongs in our family. I think she looks like you".
"She does", Alix nodded with pride. "Look at her pretty little features. I think she will be the most beautiful of them all."
"We need to make sure people know she is as precious to us as the other three".
"It is outrageous that they don't realize that already", Alix lamented. "There are always people gossiping maliciously: 'look at that German woman who hasn't managed to conceive a son'. It is never: 'congratulations, Your Imperial Majesty, for giving Russia this beautiful family'."
"It is indeed sad", the Emperor kissed Anastasia's forehead. "Our four little cherubs will look so pretty on official postcards."
"They already do, the recent official pictures are gorgeous. Our three little girls look like angels, especially Maria, and Olga and Tatiana are so photogenic. They were so comfortable having their pictures taken together."
The two parents gushed with pride as they continued talking about their daughters.
"Oh, you won't believe what Olga told me the other day she would do once she was better…" the Tsar would say, and he would tell his wife every single detail of what Olga had said this time, even the things that, in my opinion, weren't that strange or uncommon for a five-year-old to say.
"She is so smart, Olga comes up with the strangest things", Alix giggled. "And to think that because of those dreadful Pauline Laws…"
"We have talked about this sunny, they bring stability to the country."
"By allowing any distant male Romanov to inherit in precedence of a legitimate daughter of the Tsar? This despite Russia's greatest ruler having been Empress Catherine?" Alix spoke sternly. "My dear grandmother Queen Victoria, may she rest in peace, performed her duty just fine."
"You are right sunny", Nicholas conceded with a soft voice. "But things are as they are for a reason, it is God's will, and having four healthy daughters is proof enough of how great His love is for us. We will simply have to see if we are luckier next time". The color disappeared from Alexandra's face upon hearing that last sentence.
"Do not worry sunny, we don't have to hurry", Nicholas said.
"So many pregnancies, I have the body of an old woman now…"
"Something that, if it were true, wouldn't make me love you any less".
Alix smiled, and her face acquired a healthy color again.
Oo
Eager to show the world how proud he was of his fourth daughter, Nicholas ordered to have a christening more ostentatious than that of any of his three eldest daughters. The ceremony took place two weeks after Anastasia's birth and followed the same rituals as those of Olga, Tatiana, and Maria.
Anastasia was dressed in a beautiful white dress and baptized. Like her sisters before her, she was given a golden cross, one they were never supposed to take off, and of course, the order of St. Catherine. After this, the cannons boomed all the way from Peterhof back to the capital of St. Petersburg.
Poor Olga wasn't able to attend her sister's baptism, which would have been her first official ceremony. She was still very ill. The little girl was disappointed, but her sister Tatiana told her she would inform her of everything that happened.
Later that same day, Nicholas entertained his guests at lunch. Many of them went up to the supposedly happy father to present their felicitations. Nicholas's facial expressions had conveyed nothing but fatherly love in front of his daughters and wife. He looked different in that lunch though. I truly believe the very likely prospect that a child of his would not succeed him had finally dawned on him.
For once, Nicholas was unable to hide his dismay in public, as much as he tried to present himself as calm around the people he had sought out to impress.
"We must try again!" He lamented with a sad smile to one of the ambassadors. He had given up trying to keep the facade up.
Even though the four daughters were deeply loved, none of their births had made the family whole, for the parentsʼ personal happiness was not the issue at stake.
As a commoner, I have the freedom to think of my only girl, our little Katya, as enough. She is the one we had been waiting for. It has been five years since she was born and my husband and I haven't been able to have any more children yet, but we havenʼt failed. Nicholas and Alexandra must have felt they had at times.
Oo
Olgaʼs recovery from her illness was a welcome distraction for Nicholas and Alexandra. The five-year-old was up and running again with her four-year-old sister Tatiana, who was ecstatic to have her main playmate back. Tatiana had been suffering from longing.
Olga and Tatiana spent the first days after Olgaʼs recovery jumping in each other's arms gleefully. Soon Olga, Tatiana, and Maria would start running up the stairs of the palace while holding hands as a new playful pastime.
"Wait Tatya", two-year-old Maria yelled at Tatiana one time. The three oldest Romanov girls had been indulging themselves in this activity, but Maria couldnʼt go as fast as her two older sisters. Realizing this, Olga and Tatiana let go of Mariaʼs hand and moved even faster.
"Bye, bye stepsister", Olga turned around for a moment and cruelly waved her hand at her youngest sister before running off with Tatiana.
Margaretta, who had been there to witness the whole scene, had to carry a very upset Maria upstairs.
Now that Olga was healthy, she went on playing with Tatiana as frequently as she always had. For the unfortunate Maria, this meant Tatiana would no longer want to play with her as much as she had back when Olga was sick.
Oo
By 1901 Olga Alexandrovna was only nineteen. The young woman was Nicholasʼs sister and aunt to Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia. She had been escorted to the theatre and opera by a distant cousin, Duke Peter Alexandrovich of Oldenburg, who was known for his passion for literature and gambling.
Peter asked for Olga to marry him the following year, a proposal that took the Grand Duchess completely by surprise. She was so startled that she said the first thing that came to her mind: "Thank you".
Their engagement, announced in May 1901, was unexpected by family and friends alike, as Peter had shown no prior interest in women and many assumed he was homosexual.
Nicholas was incredibly amused.
"They must have been drunk when they made the decision to marry", he asserted.
In August 1901, Olga married 33-year-old Peter. After the celebration, the newlyweds left for Oldenburg Palace.
Peter left for a gambling club, leaving Olga to spend her wedding night alone and in tears, probably wondering what she had been thinking when she accepted his proposal.
She found comfort in her nieces and siblings, primarily Michael, the brother she had always been closest to, affectionately calling him "floppy". Michael was one of the few people she could confide to the truth about her out-of-the-blue marriage. It was never consummated.
Oo
The early years of Nicholas's reign were a period of glittering intellectual and cultural achievements. These included new ideas in politics, philosophy, science, music, and art.
In order to provide ordinary Russians with the opportunity to enjoy the best music and drama their nation had to offer, Nicholas commissioned a great building in St. Petersburg that included reasonably cheap theaters, concert halls, and restaurants. The best orchestras, musicians, and leading actors would perform there. The place became known as the People's Palace, and it is to me a small proof of the overall kindness and goodwill of the Tsar.
The common people who lived nearby and had the time to visit the cultural center probably appreciated it. I certainly would had the place been built close to my village, but having lived in a city for so many years has made me understand why most people who worked long hours at factories with maybe up to a dozen of mouths to feed and not enough money to afford healthcare even following workplace accidents weren't too enthusiastic or ultimately appreciative about a theater.
For now, the enmity of the working class was not in sight, not as it would be in less than five years. Nicholas was mostly oblivious to the degree this antipathy would grow.
Oo
Anastasiaʼs birth was a blessing to Maria, who was granted a welcome distraction. While Olga and Tatiana played, two-year-old Maria watched over Anastasia as the nannies took care of her or Alexandra nursed and rocked her. Maria would ask to be allowed to hold the baby, and her wish would be granted when assisted by the nurses. Nothing could have been more endearing than tiny two-tear-old Maria attempting to rock the newborn Anastasia while showering her with kisses and giving "her baby", as Maria called the newest member of the family, the sweetest lovesick smiles.
Maria acted like a little mother to baby Anastasia and really loved to pretend she was, but the little girl also longed to spend time with her older sisters. Olga and Tatiana played the most interesting games with the toys in the nursery. They included Maria sometimes, but more often than not, they excluded her.
Sometimes they would start playing dolls with Maria only for her to realize in the middle of the game that Olga and Tatiana were ignoring her. Poor Maria would never complain, look angry, or defend herself against her sisters. She looked up to them with an almost pathetic devotion, but that would ultimately change.
One day, Olga and Tatiana made a house with chairs at one end of the nursery and shut out poor Maria as usual, telling her she might be the footman, but that she should stay outside. Miss Eagar made another house at the other end for baby Anastasia, then a few months old, and Maria.
Maria could not help but long to play with her oldest sisters at the opposite end of the room, where the attractive activities were. She suddenly dashed across the room, rushed into the house, dealt each sister a slap in the face, and ran into the next room. After a while, she came back dressed in a doll's cloak and hat, and with her hands full of small toys.
"I won't be a footman, I'll be the kind, good aunt, who brings presents," Maria said. She then distributed her gifts, kissed her "nieces," and sat down.
Olga and Tatiana looked at each other with shame in their eyes.
"We were too cruel to poor little Marie", Tatiana said, "and she really couldn't help beating us." They had learned their lesson, and from that day on, Maria became a constant playmate to her older sisters, who gradually stopped excluding her until their childish bullying became a thing of the past and the three girls turned inseparable. Anastasia would join them as soon as she was old enough to toddle.
Oo
It was immediately evident that baby Anastasia would grow to be a precocious child. Maria had learned to love earlier than the others, but Anastasia had learned to laugh earlier, louder than the others. She would laugh at the slightest attempt by her father and mother to make her do it. Her laughter contrasted sharply with Mariaʼs sweet smiles and moderate giggles.
As good and sweet as she was, however, it was now clear that Maria was very human. One day, the little girl was with her sisters in the Mauve Room, a cozy boudoir where the family was often together whenever none of them were working or doing schoolwork. Nicholas and Alexandra were having tea. The Empress had tiny vanilla-flavored wafers on the tea table of which the children were particularly fond, but they were not allowed to ask for any.
The Empress left the room for a moment to fetch Miss Eagar, and when they returned there were no more wafers left. Little Marie was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes drowned in tears as she swallowed something.
"There! I've eaten it all up," she exclaimed, "you canʼt eat it now!" Margaretta was shocked and suggested bed at once as a suitable punishment.
"Very well, take her," Alexandra responded, but the Emperor intervened and begged that she might be allowed to remain.
"I was always afraid of the wings growing", Nicholas said, referring to Maria, "and I am glad to see she is only a human child."
Oo
One of the first games the four girls played together consisted of pretending to be "mommies". Olga would be Tatianaʼs and Maria would be baby Anastasiaʼs. The entire game was organized by Olga, as her mind was quick to notice she and her sisters could be paired. Neither Maria nor Anastasia would remember the exact moment the four girls had becomed best friends. It was almost as if they had been born perfectly blended together.
Olga was as lively and witty as always. She used to run around the corridors and talk to the guards. They didnʼt normally talk back, but they were amused by the child, who asked them questions about their families and where they were from. Tatiana didn't make as many comments, but was devoted to her mother and nannies, always affectionate and eager to please.
The four girls were their motherʼs pride and joy. Alexandra never came across as anything but delighted whenever she spent time with her daughters. Only in private did her inner worries manifest, especially around her husband.
About three months after the birth of Anastasia, Nicholas and Alexandra visited the new French president, Emile Loubet. There was an air of melancholy in Alexandra. She seemed markedly withdrawn. She looked beautiful as usual dressed in white and wearing gorgeous jewels, mostly pearls and diamonds, from ears to waist. But she wore them without joy. The French found the somber Russian Empress hard to like.
I think her visible sadness was just a reflection of her being a mother of girls only in a role where boys were most needed. Not only did she look somber at France, she couldnʼt help but let her jealousy and longing for a son show everywhere.
"Do you have children?" Alexandra would ask the ladies presented to her at court, only for sadness to descend upon her features whenever the lady in question replied as she curtsied: "A son, Your Majesty." The Empress would try to smile, but her attempt would come across as sad and pathetic, false even, which made some of the ladies dislike her even more.
She would become particularly uneasy whenever Xenia gave birth to another boy as it began to occur almost every year. Sometimes she cried after spending time with her nephews, and her expression was serious and mournful whenever she visited orphanages and saw the little boys running around. Nicholas didnʼt fare much better.
"Nicholas would part with half his Empire in exchange for one imperial boy", remarked the travel writer Burton Holmes that year, wondering: "Will one of the dear little duchesses someday ascend the throne of Catherine the Great?"
But neither Nicholas nor Alexandra had yet lost faith in their friend Philippe, especially not Alexandra. Philippe calmed the couple's fears with his "spiritual" advice.
"Alix, I received a powerful vision on my way here," he informed the Empress. "There was a great wave of trouble throughout Russia, a massive storm, fire creating a huge cloud of smoke in the sea, death, tears... but your child, your boy, he made Russia rejoice for a moment, helped the sovereign confront the trials to come. Do not worry, enjoy your little daughters, a son is coming. He is already on his way."