Home, love, family Chapter 13: The Sorrow of Hesse, an anastasia fanfic

Princess Alice of Battenberg is the daughter of Prince Louis of Battenberg and his wife Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine, Alexandra Feodorovnaʼs older sister. Prince Andrew of Greece is nephew of both Queen Alexandra of England and the Russian Dowager Empress. There was a great royal family gathering at Darmstadt to celebrate their marriage on September 1903.

The Hessian sisters Victoria, Elizabeth, Irene, and Alexandra attended the festivities along with their families. A ball was arranged in their honor. The four "graces" looked quite lovely according to numerous prestigious guests.

The four little Grand Duchesses were delighted by the thought of visiting their cousin Ella yet again. As any good hostess would, Elizabeth came out to receive her guests. When the happy reunion took place, Olga and Tatiana were holding hands as Maria and Anastasia stood close by, waiting for Ella. Princess Elizabeth gave each of her cousins a mightily tight hug as soon as she saw them, but her attention quickly shifted to Anastasia, who from then on would be called "my tiny cousin" by the young Hessian princess.

"Can I hold her?" Ellaʼs voice was high pitched as she asked this question, her hopeful eyes wide. Miss Eagar couldn't help but indulge her. Elizabeth picked the two-year-old and the little five girls started chatting on the way to their lodgings.

Ella walked ahead with her tiny cousin in arms. Olga and Tatiana followed her closely behind, unintentionally yet consistently finishing each other's sentences as they told their slightly older cousin about the toys they had brought and the games they wanted to play. Olga tapped Ellaʼs shoulder to get her attention, but the little Hessian princess had been listening.

"It is going to be great!" She turned her head around to face her Russian cousin. "I am also going to show you my new dolls, and we are going to be together for such a long time!"

Maria listened to the conversation in silence as she held on to Ella's dress, looking up at Anastasia with adoration. Unlike her older sisters, Maria had slightly fewer recollections of her cousin Ella, so at first, she resented the Hessian princess for "stealing" her little sister. Maria missed the sensation of having Anastasia walking by her side. This feeling of irritation soon dissipated, however, when Mariaʼs big eyes came into contact with her cousin's. Ella's grey-blue eyes were kind and welcoming, and when Anastasia started laughing and grabbing Ella's face a bit too roughly, the latter grinned at Maria before asking:

"Is she always pinching everyone?"

Maria smiled back and nodded before describing Anastasiaʼs personality to her cousin:

"She is a bit naughty, but she likes us, and likes dolls as well."

"But you have to be careful", Olga cautioned Ella.

"She likes to bite them", Tatiana finished for her sister.

The warnings didn't scare Elizabeth though. She continued showering her tiny cousin with attention. Anastasia was deeply amused by this. As far as the little one understood, the more playmates, the better.

Also delighted was Alexandra, who took pleasure in observing her niece and daughters as they walked side by side recalling past and future frolickings. All the adults were delighted. The five girls were wearing bows in their hair matching the varying colors of their beautiful short lace dresses.

Alexandraʼs childhood had been prematurely turned sour upon receiving an unwelcome visit from the angel of death. She could only hope nothing similar would ever happen to any of her children.

The eight-year-old daughter of Ernst, Alexandraʼs brother, is a pretty dark brunette, similar in looks to her mother. Her grey-blue eyes have an unusual appearance though. Sadness. Miss Eagar perceives sadness in those eyes, but she wouldnʼt dare make her opinion known to the girlʼs newly divorced father, the Duke of Hesse. It is not her place. She wouldnʼt even disclose her feelings to Miss Wilson, the little girlʼs devoted nanny and someone Margaretta Eagar soon comes to be on friendly terms with.

Margarettaʼs suspicions are not unfounded. Elizabeth's life is not lacking in sadness. Her parents are divorced, and her only sibling, her baby brother, was stillborn. Thinking of her parents' divorce makes Elizabeth feel truly sad, as she loves both of them deeply. She misses mama when she is with papa and misses papa when she is with mama.

She is missing her mama right now and wishes she had a tiny brother to keep her company.

Elizabeth feels lonely at times, but she tries to make up for that by making everyone around her happy.

The Romanov family stayed at a new palace. Olga appreciated its location near the town of Darmstadt, where she and Tatiana have many good memories strolling around and visiting shops with Cousin Ella. Olga also liked the palaceʼs pretty garden, full of ponds covered in beautiful lotus blossoms.

Tatiana fell in love with Cousin Aliceʼs white wedding dress as soon as she laid her eyes on it. Decorated with numerous flowers, the gown was so beautiful and colorful the little Tatiana couldnʼt stop starting. Cousin Alice looks so pretty, she thought.

The four little Grand Duchesses gushed over the dress before and after the wedding ceremony, and so did Princess Elizabeth. The flattered bride indulged the girls by letting them form a circle around her to have a better look. Alice also allowed them to touch her dress.

Elizabeth and Olga merely marveled at its beauty. Maria looked up to the bride just as much, her little imaginative mind looking forward to the day of her own wedding. She wanted to look just like Cousin Alice.

Tatiana, on the other hand, savored every detail of the gown, and as she carefully brushed her fingers against the skirt, wondered how much work and effort had been put into its making.

"Who made it?" She asked.

"A seamstress, dear", Alice answered.

"But how? It is so big and has so many…"

Just at that moment, Anastasia interrupted the conversation by pulling the dress too hard. Tatiana rushed to Cousin Alice's aid, but Elizabeth picked Anastasia up first. The Hessian princess started playing with her tiny cousin, jumping with her in arms in order to amuse her. The two-year-old started laughing uncontrollably.

"Come!" Elizabeth extended an arm in invitation, and the rest of her cousins followed her. In a fit of giggles, Maria was the first to prance towards Ella, taking her hand while looking up at her in admiration. Soon they were both doing things to amuse the little Anastasia.

The older guests couldn't help but smile every time they came across the five little girls strolling around with big smiles on their faces. The four Grand Duchesses and their eight-year-old Cousin Ella attended the wedding dressed in their finest and most elegant clothes, relatively short white dresses decorated with lace. The white color of their dresses matched that of their bows, socks and shoes, only Olga and Tatiana wearing delicate and shiny black tights and shoes instead.

None of them looked as beautiful as Cousin Alice in Tatiana's opinion, and to that, Olga agreed.

There were two long wedding ceremonies taking place in two separate churches, Lutheran and Greek. Miss Eagar did a good job keeping Anastasia calm. She had been preparing for days and had many little toys and soothing techniques at hand.

The other girls got bored.

"I love the prince's uniform", Maria confided to Olga, who was sitting next to her at church. "He looks like a soldier, I love him." She spoke a bit too loudly.

"Shh", the Empress hushed Maria with a smile, putting a finger in her mouth. She never once reprimanded her little Maria too harshly for chattering at church. The two long ceremonies must have been too much for a little girl of four, Alexandra thought.

Olga did her best not to talk too much with Maria about the groom or the bride's pretty dress in the middle of either ceremony. She did whisper in Tatianaʼs ear the different rituals the ceremonies would consist of before they were even performed though. Olga knew about them, and she wanted Tatiana to be impressed by her knowledge. Olga had asked her master about the sacrament of marriage and now needed to share her wisdom with someone. As expected, Tatiana was exceedingly captivated by her sister's knowledge, her little squeals betraying her excitement whenever Olga was proven right. This delighted Olga, who loves entertaining Tatiana. Usually, the peaceful Tatiana has no problem remaining quiet whenever silence is required of her, but those two ceremonies tested even her patience.

Grand Duchess Elizabeth Feodorovna of Russia visits her youngest sister Alix often along with her husband, Grand Duke Sergei. This provides her with plenty of opportunities to spend time with her young little nieces: Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia. Opportunities to spend time with the rest of her nieces and nephews are a bit rarer, so Elizabeth is grateful to God for these festivities.

Fourteen-year-old Louise, ten-year-old George, and three-year-old Louis are the children of Elizabethʼs older sister Victoria and her husband Louis of Battenberg. Alice, the eighteen-year-old bride, is also their daughter.

Fourteen-year-old Waldemar, six-year-old Sigismund, and three-year-old Heinrich, on the other hand, are the children of Elizabeth's younger sister Irene and her husband Prince Heinrich of Prussia, a younger brother of German Emperor Wilhelm II, Elizabeth's former suitor.

Even Elizabeth's little brother, Ernst, has a beautiful and delightful eight-year-old daughter named Elizabeth like herself. The little girl is Ernst's world.

All of my siblings have children of their own now, Elizabeth realizes. The Grand Duchess can't help but experience a small glimmer of sadness and perhaps even jealousy as she keeps an eye on the little ones playing together in the garden.

Soon after marrying Sergei, Elizabeth learned that they wouldnʼt be able to have children of their own. People will often come to her with all sorts of advice on how to increase fertility, but Elizabeth has already lost hope. At this point, any piece of advice feels more like a patronizing insult than genuine concern. She would never dare say so out loud, of course. It would be cruel.

Elizabeth loves children though. She always has. As a little girl, she was the one out of her sisters to play with baby dolls most often. Victoria was the tomboy of the family, and little Alix preferred animals, as they would interact with and love her back.

Sergei and Elizabeth's Ilyinskoe estate, a few miles west of Moscow, is frequently used to host parties that Elizabeth organizes primarily for children, her nieces, nephews, or otherwise.

Elizabeth also dotes on Felix Yusupov, the youngest son of Princess Zinaida Yusupova, the heiress of Russiaʼs largest private fortune and one of Elizabeth's dearest friends. Zinaida owns a residence near Ilyinskoe, and through the years it has been hard for Elizabeth not to grow increasingly fond of her almost angelic kindness.

Now a slightly troublesome young man of sixteen, Felix used to be a funny, talkative child who craved attention more than anything else in the world. He also loved wearing dresses, a peculiarity Zinaida embraced fully, as she was never blessed with a daughter. Elizabeth found Felix endearing from the moment she first met him and has since been like a second mother to him.

It is hard for her to admit, but the love she has for those dear children has not quite filled the void her childlessness represents in her life. Not even caring for Maria and Dmitri has. Sometimes, having them around only reminds her of everything she can't have, making her experience immense guilt.

Elizabethʼs relationship with Dmitri is easy. She loves that boy and at times can even convince herself he is her son. Bonding with his older sister Maria, on the other hand, has been difficult so far. Maria was already a big child of twelve when Elizabeth was charged with the responsibility of taking care of her. The oldest of Elizabethʼs adopted children is quiet and closed off, always missing her father. Elizabeth doesn't know how to be a mother to her.

God, forgive Paul for what he has done to his children, she prays.

Elizabeth wishes she had been consulted… but Sergei accepted the responsibility straight away and without asking her. Elizabeth was merely presumed and expected to be happy about it. She didn't even have time to prepare.

Sergei loves making decisions for Elizabeth, which is usually not a problem for her. Maybe this time it was.

And yet, Elizabeth would not change Sergei for anything in the world, not even children. He is not well-liked. Many people consider him arrogant, short-tempered, and cold. An almost emotionless reactionary of ruthless methods.

Sergei is all of that, but Elizabeth knows him better than anyone. He is also tender in his own way. Sergei is ruthless because he worries for the future stability of the Empire. He comes across as cold to most people because he doesnʼt want to show his many weaknesses. He is also sensitive, a lover of art and poetry. The patron of dozens of charities. A lover of God. Elizabeth and Sergei fell madly in love. And while he may be strict at times, he absolutely adores Maria and Dmitri.

Elizabeth has also financed several charities for the poor and suffering people of Moscow. The homeless, the orphans, and the children of drunkards and prostitutes. She has been doing so for a long time.

It is not enough. Elizabeth knows there is more she can do for those people. She doesnʼt want her life consisting of endless parties and ceremonies anymore. She longs to feel close to the poor, so see for herself what is truly happening and not just help from afar, but Sergei is strictly opposed to that.

"This is not Darmstadt and you are not your mother", her husband says almost every time she brings up the subject. "You won't be respected for doing that in Russia as you would in Germany. Your job is to preserve the prestige of the family, and besides, it is extremely dangerous. Any anarchist, revolutionary... even a simple lunatic could assassinate you, or worse. There are savages amongst those people, you don't know what it is like, the things they have had to do to survive".

Elizabeth is not naïve, she does know. She is curious enough to ask the charity workers about the living conditions of the poorest among the people of Moscow. And yet, the spiritual call to do as Jesus did has not abandoned her.

Olga knew about it already, but as everyone walks out of the second church, her poor little sister Maria is distressed to learn that Cousin Alice will be leaving her mother to live with her husband. Hoping to provide her sister with some comfort, Olga embraces Maria.

"I'll never marry," Maria hugs Olga back tightly. "I couldn't leave my dear mama."

"Oh, dear, everyone who is married has to go live with their new husband or wife", Miss Eagar explains. "Prince Andrew will now live with Princess Alice, but both of them will get to visit their parents pretty often."

"Why do people marry if they have to leave their mamas to do so?" Maria sinks her head into Olgaʼs neck.

"Very few people can stay with their parents forever", the nanny tries to soothe her worries. "Many people are obliged to go away and live with strangers without being married at all."

"Have you ever known anyone who did?" Maria raises her head, surprised. Margaretta Eagar tells Maria about several people who have done so, many of whom the four sisters know, herself included.

"They are perfectly happy", Miss Eagar assures Maria. Then, stroking the little girlʼs cheek, she adds: "I am perfectly happy."

Maria reflects on this for a moment, after which, with a beaming smile, she says: "But that was different, our mama called you."

In any case, there is a mother involved in the situation. My mama is so good she can be like Miss Eagar's mama, Maria thinks.

On the way back to the carriage, Elizabeth takes little Maria by the hand while Tatiana, walking closely behind, talks to her sisters and cousin about dresses. Olga walks closely by Cousin Ella's side, her giggling baby sister Anastasia prancing in front of her. Olga will sometimes come from behind and grab her youngest sister by the arms to help her walk faster or even jump from place to place. Anastasia loves it.

"Donʼt worry, my dear Maria", the young Elizabeth consoles her cousin as she stops for a moment to stroke her hair. "It is not too bad to be away from you mama for a while. Mama and I are separated whenever I am with papa, but it is all right, because I always see her again. It will be that way when you get married. You will see your mother very often as well, every time you want to, and you will both be very happy."

The four Grand Duchesses and their maternal cousins of similar ages are playing in the beautiful palace garden. Filled with ponds and pretty lotus blossoms, the garden is also large. The children love it.

George is ten, but he has no problem playing with his younger cousins. Sigismund of six is one of the girls' favorite maternal cousins, second only to Elizabeth. Louis canʼt take his eyes off his four-year-old cousin Maria, only a year older than him. Not knowing any better, he once follows her around for half an hour as she plays with her sisters. The poor little boy is too mesmerized by the sight of his cousin to play anything.

Little Heinrich is the same age as Louis, and his personality is similar to that of his cousin Anastasia, causing Alexandra to have a special fondness for him. Heinrich has almost too much energy. He certainly would have enjoyed horseplay more than he has been able to. Every time the children start playing rough, Irene intervenes to take her little boy away or has a nanny do it.

Heinrich suffers from hemophilia, the same illness that killed Ireneʼs little brother Friedrich when he was only two. Ireneʼs oldest son Waldemar is a hemophiliac as well, and she has feared for his life ever since he was born.

When a hemophiliac gets hurt, their blood doesnʼt clot properly, which is why it takes longer for them to stop bleeding. Doctors are still trying to figure out what causes this condition, but something is clear, it comes from Ireneʼs side of the family.

Both my brother and Uncle Leopold died from brain hemorrhages exacerbated by the illness, Irene remembers with fear. Leopold died at thirty, leaving two orphaned children behind. She can only hope her sons will live long enough for a cure to be available.

Fortunately, Heinrich enjoys playing inside with his brothers and cousins. He and Anastasia have made good use of the stuffed animals, making them fight and eat each other.

Princess Sonia Orbeliani accompanied the Emperor and Empress to Darmstadt.

Suggested as a lady-in-waiting by Nicholasʼs brother-in-law Grand Duke Alexander Mikhailovich, Sonia has become one of Alexandraʼs best friends. Her keen sense of humor, vivacity, and generous nature quickly won the Empress over.

Sonia Orbeliani is a remarkably elegant woman, and yet she is often dissolved in fits of laughter, enjoying slightly wicked jokes. Alexandra and Sonia have spent long afternoons playing piano duets, one of the Empress's favorite pastimes. Alexandra appreciates her friendʼs talent for music, although Soniaʼs greatest passion is sports.

The princess speaks to the Empress in a frank, open way, freely offering her opinion even when she knows it will be unpalatable to Alexandra, whom she hopes to drag out of insolation by arranging social gatherings with ladies at court. While the Empress has enjoyed these small meetings, they havenʼt awakened any social interest in her.

The wedding celebrations, however, have been marked with unrestrained joy, even the socially awkward Alexandra delighting in the family reunion and the round of parties, dinners, and excursions in Darmstadt, her former home. She loves being around her beloved brother and seeing her baby girls happy.

Alexandraʼs mood declines dramatically when Sonia falls ill though. The princess begins suffering from a high temperature and becomes so weak that she is no longer able to leave her bed. Alexandra has doctors called in and soon forgets about the merrymaking to care for Sonia.

Once the wedding festivities are through and the guests are gone, Nicholasʼs family goes along with Ernst and his daughter to Wolfsgarten. Too ill to go with them, Sonia stays in Darmstadt.

Wolfsgarten is a castle that serves as a hunting seat for the ruling family of Hesse-Darmstadt. It is surrounded by grasslands and trees, the palace itself enclosing a decently sized garden.

Behind the the palace there is a white playhouse surrounded by trees. Elizabethʼs playhouse. The small cottage has white walls, blue doors and windows, and an orange, steeply pitched roof. Elizabeth told his father she had dreamed of a small house of her own, hidden deep in the woods. During one of Elizabethʼs visits to her mother, Ernst brought her dream to life, building a perfect, miniature house, just as the one she had described. There is an inscription above the door: "This little house was built just for me in the year 1902".

Little Elizabeth is the favorite among her cousins. Despite the look of intense sadness in her eyes, the little princess herself is full of life and happiness. Margaretta Eagar never saw such a sunny nature.

Elizabeth is barely ever out of temper or cross. Should any little dispute arise amongst her four Russian cousins, she will settle it with perfect amiability and justice, making whoever is in the wrong give in by reproving them with great gentleness. Wherever Princess Ella is, no angry disputes can exist. She is so sweet and just that the other children always give in to her arbitration. Unsurprisingly, the four sisters have become closer than ever under her guidance.

Olga loves having Cousin Ella around. Playing with her sisters is way more fun and enjoyable when Elizabeth is also there because they spend less time fighting. Cousin Ella gets the best ideas. She is never angry about anything and always shares her toys. Sometimes these things make Olga feel a bit embarrassed, because she does get angry a lot.

Olga treasures her intriguing conversations with Elizabeth, who is very smart. She doesnʼt just agree with Olga but has new ideas to share. Most of all, Olga loves the way Elizabeth notices the beauty in nature before even she does.

Elizabeth is a regular little mother who is never as happy as with her "tiny cousin," as she started calling Anastasia from the moment she saw her. Maria admires her cousin's nurturing nature. Ella's kindness and playfulness towards Maria are rewarded with the latterʼs devotion. It is recently, under Elizabethʼs influence, that Olga and Tatiana have offered Maria the most love and attention.

Elizabeth and her cousins visited the riding-school near Wolfsgarten, where she mounted on a great white horse while her Russian cousins chose each a little pony. Elizabeth rode wonderfully well, for her mother had taught her. The Hessian princess would take any of her cousins before her on the saddle, giving them a ride around the school. Maria and Anastasia truly enjoyed this. They would each make happy little squeals as soon as they were mounted on the horse.

After riding, Elizabeth and the four little Grand Duchesses would go to the stables and give the horses and ponies little treats.

Tatiana was impressed by her cousin and the way she was able to ride a horse meant for grown-up people. The second eldest Grand Duchess learned a lot from the patient Elizabeth, who taught her everything she knew about horses.

The five little girls are playing tag in the garden located at the center of the castle. They are comfortable and modestly attired. Only the collars of their matching white sailor dresses are decorated with dark blue stripes.

Just as Elizabeth is about to touch her, Tatiana trips and falls to the ground.

"My dress!" Tatiana laments. She quickly straightens up, frantically inspecting her dress to assess the damage. It is dirty, she soon discovers, very dirty. The muddy spot she landed on is barely covered by grass.

The other girls stop running. Olga and Maria approach their sister with concern. Tatiana's sailor dress is soiled with dirt, and her panicked attempts to rub it off are only turning the skirt brown.

Ella realizes her cousin is about to cry.

"Oh, don't worry, Tanechka", Elizabeth throws herself to the ground. "Look! I fell as well!" The Hessian princess smiles up at Tatiana as she rolls in the mud.

Still in tears, Tatiana tries to laugh at her cousin's silliness, but only because she doesn't want her to feel bad. The truth is witnessing Cousin Ella ruin her own pretty sailor dress is not making the six-year-old feel any better.

"Look Tanechka!" Olgaʼs laughter is genuine. "It is alright!" She follows Elizabeth's example, making Maria and Anastasia burst into giggles. This does make Tatiana feel a bit better. Soon enough, Elizabeth and her four favorite cousins are rolling in the green grass.

Anastasia is the first to stand up, this for a very particular reason. She takes a handful of dirt and throws it at her older sisters and cousin. Being in a playful mood, Maria imitates her little sister. The two youngest girls start terrorizing the three eldest, who make it a game of sorts to roll away from the little onesʼ attacks.

The boisterous laughter of the five little girls alerts the nannies that were standing nearby.

None of the parents or nursemaids become angry at the girls when they are made aware of the situation. Elizabeth knows just how to soften them, how to argue her case in an endearing and persuasive way. She always does. She holds great power over adults.

"The grass was just too pretty not to roll in it", Elizabeth pouts. "I gave them the idea, I did it first and my cousins wanted to do it with me." Her four favorite cousins will often follow her lead in an almost admiring way.

Ernst makes Elizabeth aware of how hard it will be to wash the dresses.

"Well, well, I will do it", the Hessian princess volunteers. She has her father in particular wrapped around her finger. There is no one Ernst loves more. None of the girls are grounded, but they are made to help the servants wash the dresses and end up having a lot of fun with the task.

It has been fun for Alexandra to notice the way her own daughter Tatiana has slowly learned to imitate her Hessian cousinʼs eloquence throughout the course of her stay at Wolfsgarten.

The little Grand Duchess is always observant. She has discovered the art of persuasion.

The autumn weather is truly pleasant in Wolfsgarten, where the girls and their parents have so far had an incredibly blissful time. Alexandra bought bicycles for her three eldest children, so Olga, Tatiana, and Maria have had pleasant grand rides around the place along with their cousin, as well as various excursions to hunt the woods for mushrooms, of which many varieties are found in Germany.

Ella has agreed to call Olga "little empress", for that is the way her cousin likes to be referred to as but seldom is. One day after Tatiana, Maria and Anastasia have gone back to play inside, Elizabeth and Olga decide to stay outside in the fields near the forest.

They are not alone, of course. Miss Wilson is keeping an eye on the two girls as they look for butterflies.

"We saw them near the flowers last time", Olga says.

"Yes, they need to eat what is in the flowers", Ella replies.

"I wonder what flowers taste like."

"Probably very sweet… oh look!" Elizabeth points at a group of flowers awaiting them just a few steps ahead. Three butterflies fly closely above the blossoms. Olga runs forward, reaching the site before Elizabeth does and sitting among the tiny blue flowers, the inner parts of which are yellow. That is where the orange butterflies perch on.

Olga extends her arms and hands in invitation so that the butterflies come to her, but she soon realizes her offering has little to no effect on the actions of the tiny insects. Elizabeth catches up to Olga and gives her a warm hug from behind. The little empress returns the hug for a few seconds before turning her attention back to the butterflies.

Elizabeth remains kneeling behind her cousin, hugging her affectionately. She also places her head next to hers, comfortably laying it on her shoulder. It is a beautiful picture, Elizabeth thinks as both she and Olga delight in the charming flowers and flying butterflies, the midday sunlight illuminating the sight.

"Why donʼt you pick up some flowers so that the butterflies come to eat them?" The little Hessian princess asks her cousin.

It is a childish idea, but whether the butterflies follow the flowers or approach Olgaʼs hands by mere coincidence, it is a childish idea that works. Soon after the little Russian Grand Duchess picks up two of the small blue flowers, the butterflies begin flying closer and closer to the two girls, who start giggling.

"I canʼt believe it!" Ella exclaims.

"They are so pretty!" Olga gushes. "Like fairies in a forest!" One of the butterflies perches on her dear Cousin Ellaʼs nose, making Olga rejoice and wonder if heaven is similar to this place, if God sent them this one butterfly. Both girls grin in excitement, but they stay still, close to one another. None of them want the butterfly to go away. When Ella turns her eyes in to have a better look at her nose, Olga canʼt help but let out a giggle, and the little insect flies away.

"Miss Wilson!" Ella calls for her nanny as she pulls away from Olga. She wants her to see the butterflies from up close as well. "Look!"

Back inside the palace, Ella is sitting on a couch when Olga sneaks from behind. It is the little Grand Duchess who surprises her Hessian cousin with a warm embrace this time.

The Empress is driven back to Darmstadt regularly to visit the ailing Sonia, sometimes as often as two or three times a day. No one has yet voiced any objection to their Empress out loud, but resentment thrives among the stricter court people, some of whom silently discuss Alexandraʼs behavior disapprovingly, referring to it as an almost insulting breach of etiquette.

Alexandra wouldnʼt care if she knew. She doesnʼt mind being accused of not being true to her class, and she wouldn't allow any interference with her friendships, especially not so when her friends need her most.

Alexandra prefers homely friends to the more brilliant, high-class variety. She doesnʼt mind whether a person is rich or poor. Once her friend, always her friend.

The playhouse is surrounded by a fence that Elizabeth, Olga, and Tatiana have many times dared each other to climb over. Maria tried to climb over it once, but she would have fallen disastrously if it werenʼt for Olga.

The five girls love pretending to be grown-ups inside the playhouse. They clean, pretend to cook, have tea parties, and often play for hours on end without fighting. Cousin Ella is so nice, Tatiana thinks. Whenever the girls play house, Tatiana can be the wife or the daughter if she wants to, because Cousin Ella has no problem being the husband so that everyone else is happy.

The children are having the time of their lives playing dolls when a nanny announces it is time for dinner. Maria pouts, Olga frowns, and before a very unhappy Tatiana is able to open the playhouse door, Elizabeth shouts:

"We are not going!"

"Come dears, you can keep playing later", Miss Wilson says.

Elizabeth opens a window and sticks her head out so that her nanny can see her. "No-uh", she chants, shaking her head. Olga grins at that. Tatianaʼs eyes widen in horror. Little Maria clings to her beloved cousinʼs dress and giggles mischievously. Only Anastasia remains oblivious and unbothered. The two-year-old keeps playing with the dolls.

Olga joins her cousin in her taunting, which goes on for a long time as more and more adults gather up outside. The five girls resume playing with their dolls, Olga, Maria and Elizabeth looking out the window every now and then to argue with the adults, who haven't stopped urging them to come out. Eventually, once she feels safe enough to do so, Tatiana joins the taunting as well.

"My baby, come outside!" Miss Wilson yells again. "Please!"

"Come out dears, what you are doing is very impolite!" Miss Eagar argues with her young charges.

"Tomorrow!" The quick-witted Olga yells back.

"Never! Not in a thousand years! Not ever!" Tatiana adds just as loudly. Olga grins at her.

"Not in a thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand, years!" Maria tries to impress her sisters.

"Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand! Thousand!" Anastasia jumps excitedly. Elizabeth giggles at her tiny cousinʼs understanding of math.

Elizabeth, Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia continue to have a lot of fun playing, as well as peeking through the windows at their frustrated parents and nannies, who impatiently pace up and down outside as they wait for the high-spirited young girls to stop their games and emerge.

Their dinner is brought to the playhouse. Elizabeth knew there would not be any adults allowed inside. She used to take refuge in her little house to escape lessons.

A few weeks before Olgaʼs eighth birthday, the five girls had a picnic outside, after which Elizabeth and her two oldest Russian cousins found themselves on top of a small hill they had an easy time climbing.

It has not been as easy for Maria, who is still stuck in the middle of the elevation, lying flat on her stomach. Elizabeth and Tatiana are cheering her on. Olga takes a more practical approach by giving her advice. This doesn't work. Olga then grabs her little sister by the hands and pulls her up. This isn't helpful for Maria either, only causing her to slip every time Olga lets go.

Anastasia cries and screams in frustration at the bottom of the hill. Unlike Maria, the two-year-old hasnʼt been able to climb even halfway up. Her noisy outburst is making the remaining girlsʼ ears ache. Anastasia is beginning to resent her small size. It doesnʼt match her spirit.

Elizabeth rushes back down, consoles her tiny cousin with kisses and reassuring words just like any grown-up nanny would, and climbs back up carrying her. The Hessian princess ends up feeling proud of having helped the little Anastasia stop crying.

Eventually, the eldest girls manage to help the fat little bow-wow, as Tatiana calls Maria. Once the five children are on top of the hill, Elizabeth and Tatiana make Olga look the other way as they prepare a crown with the help of Maria and Anastasia using flowers and small pieces of cloth Elizabeth had carried in her pockets.

"You can look now", Elizabeth taps Olga on the back. "For the little empress." The modest adornment is then presented to the oldest Romanov daughter as a surprise.

Olga is delighted. She is soon suggesting that they all play coronation so as to give the crown a good use. The imaginative girls use a rock to embody the orb and a stick to represent the scepter. Elizabeth plays the role of the priest. Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia are the faithful subjects attending the ceremony. Olga is, naturally, the little empress. She makes sure the adequate protocol is followed.

Alexandra and one of her sisters have just returned from a drive when the horses suddenly take fright and bolt. They rush around the sides of the narrow courtyard and head for the stables, the door of which is shut. Thinking that a smash is inevitable, the old footman throws himself from the box in the hopes of catching the horses by the heads and bringing them to a standstill. He, however, falls and gets kicked in the face by one of the horses.

The Grand Duke of Hesse sees what is about to happen and rushes up in time to catch one of the horses by the bridle as they are heading into the shut-up stable, saving his two sisters. The women are not hurt, and the old servant is not seriously injured.

The children were all inside the playhouse while this was happening, out of harm way, but they watched everything through the windows and were terribly frightened.

Scared herself, Elizabeth prioritizes her cousins:

"Donʼt worry", she soothes them, pointing at the carriage Alexandra is stepping out of. "Look Maria, they are fine."

"Mama is not hurt", Tatiana looks up at Olga, clinging to her. She has put her head on her older sisterʼs shoulder. It is not often that Olga is afraid, but she was on this occasion.

Ella pats each of her cousins on their backs or heads, depending on their size.

"Nothing bad is going to happen", she says.

Having stayed at Wolfsgarten for a few days, the Romanovs and their retinue took off for the imperial hunting lodge by the Polish town of Skierniewice. Following them were the Grand Duke of Hesse and his little daughter.

A swing and a giant's stride was put up for the children by the lodge. A little carriage drawn by a pair of tame deer was also arranged. The girls continued to run, play, and bicycle in the mornings. They went on long excursions and had even more picnics in the forest, playing hide and seek amidst the trees. Every evening there would be games and romps all over the big rooms of the palace.

The oldest three girls would gossip about Cousin Dmitri supposedly liking Cousin Irina and how conceivable it was for him to end up marrying her as Cousin Andrew had married Cousin Alice. Maria loved listening to these stories.

Laughter and merriment followed everywhere the girls went, Elizabeth taking the lead in most games. She was deeply interested in everything she saw. Like Margaretta Eagar, the girl was horrified at seeing people by the road kneel whenever the children's carriage approached. The Irish governess never got used to this custom nor ever overcame the feeling of horror mixed with pity that she experienced upon seeing it done for the first time. The little Grand Duchess Olga, who is very sensitive, used to look at the people with tears in her eyes and beg her nanny to tell them not to do it.

One day, Elizabeth and Tatiana started acting wonderfully busy and mysterious, running in and out of the rooms and bursting into laughter every now and then. In the evening, once all the girls were in bed, Tatiana took from under her pillow a little box that her dear Cousin Ella had prepared for her. It contained several little colored stones which both girls had picked out of the gravel the day before, some bits of matches, luminous ends, the sand-paper off a match-box, and some tissue paper. A toy Elizabeth had concocted, telling Tatiana that if she ever felt lonely she was to sit up in bed, light a match upon the sand-paper, set fire to the tissue paper, and by its light play with the stones. Miss Eagar did not allow Tatiana to do this. The six-year-old girl was overwhelmed with horror when her governess explained to her that she could have been burned in her bed.

One evening as the game of the shooting party was laid out, Miss Wilson said to Miss Eagar:

"I should so much like to show my baby this, it would interest her."

The two nannies got blankets and shawls, using them to prepare a warm little nest for Elizabeth in the window seat. Wrapped in a dressing-gown and shawl, they brought her from her bed to see the hunters, her father among them, shoot outside. She was quite delighted.

The next morning, Grand Duchess Olga was greatly displeased.

"Ella is only eight months older than I am", she grumbled to Miss Eagar, "and Miss Wilson took her up to see it all, and you left me in bed, like a baby."

"Oh! Dear Olga", Elizabeth said to her cousin with a sweet voice, "don't be angry, you will often see it again, but I shall never again see it." She often made use of this expression at Skierniewice: "I shall never again see it."

The shooting party went on to the hunting lodge at Spala. The whole game was shot during the two days and finished earlier than usual on a Saturday afternoon. Miss Wilson and Miss Eagar discussed the matter and concluded that they might as well indulge their little charges with a sight of it all. They wrapped them up and took them out. The children were ecstatic.

The little Hessian princess was oftentimes full of life and fun, but her unusually high spirits that Saturday evening led her to prepare and carry out an innocent little practical joke on her father and aunt. She asked Miss Eagar to place her three eldest cousins in her bed and leave little Anastasia alone in another bedroom.

"When auntie Alix and papa come," said Elizabeth, "auntie Alix will be looking everywhere for her children, and papa will not know how he has got four."

It was done, and Miss Eagar stepped into the corridor to ask the Empress of Russia and the Grand Duke of Hesse to appear surprised and go along with the childʼs prank. They acted exceedingly surprised indeed, the Empress pretending to be much frightened as she looked for Olga, Tatiana, and Maria, this to Ella's great pleasure.

Laughter could be heard all over the lodge as one by one the cousins were disclosed.

Olga turned eight years old the next Sunday morning and woke up with a great idea. She convinced Tatiana to go with her to Elizabethʼs room so that they could surprise their cousin before breakfast and have an improvised birthday party.

"Letʼs take all of our toys to her room!" Tatiana exclaimed in happy acceptance. She removed the blankets from her body and walked from her bed towards her sisterʼs.

Olga and Tatiana share a room, while their two younger sisters share another one.

"Maybe she will be sleeping and we will wake her up", Olga gushed, leaping out from her own bed.

"We will scare her!" Tatiana clapped.

The two girls were heading towards the door when Margaretta Eagar opened it unexpectedly, making Olga and Tatiana shriek in surprise and then laugh.

"What were you naughty girls planning?" Miss Eagar put her hands on her hips playfully. Olga and Tatiana kept giggling for a moment before explaining to their nanny what they intended to do.

"Elizabeth woke up with a sore throat, my dears", Miss Eagar told them with a sad expression. "Now, go dress up."

Miss Eagar made sure the court doctor was fetched. Along with Miss Wilson, she also took Elizabethʼs temperature. As it was normal, Miss Wilson resolved to help Elizabeth get dressed. When the little girl went to the bathroom, however, the nannies were made aware that further symptoms had already set in, so Elizabeth was put to bed again.

By the time the doctor arrived, Elizabethʼs throat was already better. He remarked that it was possible the wide variety of foods during the girlʼs many travels had caused the symptoms, the upset stomach in particular, but he was not alarmed, and neither were the nannies. The remaining girls also kept on playing, even if slightly disappointed about not being able to do so with their cousin. Tatiana merely asked Miss Wilson to tell Cousin Ella to get better. Olga added she would pray for her dear friend.

Miss Eagar kept her charges out of the lodge as much as possible in order to keep the nurseries quiet for the ailing Elizabeth. She would take them on carriage rides and encourage them to play in the swings. When the nanny returned from one of these drives with the four girls, Miss Wilson received them.

"Oh! My baby is ever so much better!" She cheerfully exclaimed. "She has had no return of the sickness for a couple of hours, and is sleeping quietly."

Miss Wilson went on to explain Elizabeth's temperature had spiked but was now back to normal. She then returned to the sick child's bedroom.

Elizabeth's four cousins were awfully happy.

"Can we go see Cousin Ella now?" Olga asked as she and her sisters stepped through a corridor on the way to the nurseries.

"Not yet, dear, she must be resting", Miss Eagar replied. "I am going to ask the doctor whether it would be appropriate for you to see her once she is up".

Leaving her charges, Miss Eagar went to see the doctor, encountering him just as he was leaving Elizabethʼs room. The Irish governess decided to congratulate him on the improvement in his little patient first.

"Improvement?" He echoed in surprise. "The child is dying of failure of the heart."

Margaretta's eyes opened wide. She felt stunned for a moment and then utterly incredulous.

"But how can that be?" She asked. "As far as I am aware her temperature is fine now, Miss Wilson told me so. She has been sick for only a few hours!"

The man remained silent, gave the Miss Eagar a sad look, and then shook his head slowly.

Miss Wilson had taken care of Elizabeth ever since she was a baby. The doctor was not aware of this, but he had seen the English nanny interact with Elizabeth and thought that by witnessing the same thing anyone would have immediately grasped how much the woman cared for the girl. He pitied the nanny deeply. Because of this, he hadnʼt told her the truth yet.

"Children get horribly sick quickly all the time and recover quite as rapidly", Miss Eagar insisted. "It was just a fever and… and a sore throat, I donʼt understand…"

"I understand you have experience with children recovering, but I am the one treating this child. Her heart is failing from hour to hour, and her temperature has risen rapidly."

It fell on Margaretta Eagar to tell the Empress and Grand Duke of Hesse that Elizabeth was very ill and weak. They both came down to see her, but neither of them acknowledged the fact she was in danger. The doctor tried to explain the situation. Elizabethʼs heart was becoming weaker and weaker.

"The beatings are hardly perceptible", he stated.

The Grand Duke felt his daughterʼs pulse and thought it strong enough. Alexandra and Ernst were in and out of the room visiting Ella all throughout the evening but believed Miss Eagar and the doctor to be needlessly alarmed.

So much did they disbelieve any possibility of danger to the child that they went to the theatre that night.

Margaretta Eagar continued visiting the sick patient once every few minutes. She sometimes talked to the doctor outside the girlʼs bedroom.

"I am in serious need of a second opinion", he confessed on one of these occasions, and Margaretta Eagar urged him to send a message to the Empress.

Before the specialist the doctor had requested arrived, the imperial family returned from the theatre. Alexandra and Ernst came in to see the little one, who roused herself and spoke brightly to them.

"I just feel very tired, like I couldnʼt move if I wanted to", the little girl said.

"You need to rest to get better", Alexandra told her. "In one or two days you will be up and running again".

"Yes, auntie Alix".

"Your cousins are telling me they missed playing in the swings with you today".

Elizabeth was so weak she could only smile in reply.

Ernie spoke to her daughter for a while longer and then showered her face with kisses, making her giggle. The Empress smiled at this.

"Don't be nervous or frightened about the child", she turned to Miss Eagar. "She will be all right in the morning, you will see."

Alexandra and Ernst went to bed, and the child speedily sank into a semi-stupor.

The room was dark except for a dim light coming from the night lamp. Miss Wilson had seldom left Elizabethʼs bedside. She was still sitting on a wooden chair next to the small patient.

The Hessian princess had a visibly pained expression on her face. Her muscles ached, and dark circles had already formed under her eyes. The light of the night lamp revealed this, also illuminating the womanʼs face as she held the little girlʼs hand.

On the other side of the bed, Margaretta Eagar occupied another chair. In a moment of weakness, the Irish nanny yawned. Miss Wilson noticed and felt sorry for the other governess.

"You can go now, you need rest", she said to her. "You have done so much for us today…"

"I cannot leave you to suffer through this alone", Miss Eagar protested. She then looked down at the sleeping Elizabeth, smiled, and added: "Or the poor little angel."

As they spoke, death walked through the corridors and rooms of the palace.

The silence is disrupted everywhere on the floor when Maria and Anastasia start screaming in their bedroom, loudly. Miss Eagar immediately stands up and rushes out of Elizabethʼs chamber towards theirs.

"Good God!" She steps in the room. "What is it?"

Maria and Anastasia are standing on their beds, looking terribly alarmed. Maria is crying.

"A bad man!" The four-year-old bawls.

"What?!" The woman becomes nervous. "What dear?!"

"He entered our room!"

"Bad man!" Anastasia yells. "Very bad man!" She is not crying, but her brow is furrowed, and whenever she is not talking, she is pouting.

"Did he harm you?" Miss Eagar promptly inquires.

"He, scared, me", Maria recalls through sobs. "He is, very bad". Easily influenced by her sisterʼs mood, Anastasia lets out a loud sob herself and starts wailing.

The girls may not comprehend the severity of their cousinʼs condition, but Margaretta knows they understand she is ill. They listen to adult conversations and must know by now that Elizabeth feels awful. Perhaps the situation has stressed the poor girls out, Miss Eagar thinks.

"Oh, no, my babies, no!" Margarettaʼs tone of voice is sweet as she rushes towards Mariaʼs bed to comfort her. "No one here is going to harm you, your nana is here with you." She wipes the little girlʼs tears and hugs her, taking her time to do so. She then does the same with the even smaller Anastasia, picking her up and carrying her around the room while making rocking motions

As she soothes her youngest charge with sweet words, Margaretta starts to ponder. The girlsʼ chambers can only be entered from either the dining room or the second bedroom, which itself can only be entered from the room in which the little princess lies ill.

The doctor and the sick little princess's faithful servant-man have been in the dining room all night. No one could have walked into Maria and Anastasiaʼs room without Margarettaʼs knowledge.

"Maybe it was the good doctor who entered the chamber by mistake, my dears", Miss Eagar suggests. Anastasia shakes her head almost immediately.

"No!" Maria says firmly. "He was not good. It was a horrible, bad, awful man."

The night-light lamp could have also thrown a shadow, Margaretta thinks, frightening the children into thinking there was someone in the room. Margaretta tests her theory by changing the lampʼs position.

"Look dears…" she begins to say before being promptly interrupted.

"The bad man is hiding behind the curtain!" Little Anastasia clings to her nanny. Maria starts sobbing again.

Miss Eagar lights a candle and uses it to show the little Anastasia that there is absolutely nothing to worry about. She even rolls the curtain over.

The doctor, who has heard the childrenʼs cries, comes into the chamber, and when Miss Eagar explains the situation to him, he makes an effort to help the nanny soothe Maria by assuring her that it was probably little Elizabethʼs servant who came into the room.

It is useless. Nothing is able to soothe Maria, who keeps weeping, and when Miss Eagar tries to put her back in bed, Anastasia refuses to let go, clinging harder to her and screaming loudly. Miss Eagar sighs. She can only hug Anastasia back, trying to comfort her. The little girl buries her face in her neck and squeezes her, trembling and shaking.

It is dreadful for Margaretta to see her in such a fright.

After the doctor leaves, Miss Eagar lights another candle and leaves it on a little table close to Maria's bed. The nanny then sits down nearby with Anastasia still in her arms so as to be close to both children. Lying in bed, Maria keeps talking to Miss Eagar about the dreadful person she and her little sister saw. She often becomes startled, also sitting up in wild horror every now and then.

A while later, the doctor returns to the room and tells Miss Eagar that a new Polish physician has come from Warsaw and given the sick little princess an injection of caffeine.

"Her heart seems stronger", he says. "I think I am beginning to hope for the best."

The next time Maria mentions the mysterious stranger, Miss Eagar turns to the little girl and says:

"Did you hear? A new doctor came from the city to help our doctor make Cousin Ella quite well again, and perhaps he might have come to the door by mistake, or you might have heard him speak, but there is no one in the room now."

"No nana", Maria shakes her head. "He was not a doctor, he was a very bad man who didnʼt speak and didn't come through any door." She suddenly sits up in her bed again and follows with her sight something that the much bewildered Miss Eagar is not able to see.

"Oh!" Maria cries. "He is gone into Cousin Ella's room!"

"Oh! Poor Cousin Ella!" Little Anastasia sits up on Miss Eagarʼs knee. "Poor Princess Elizabeth!"

Maria and Anastasia fall asleep shortly after seeing the mysterious intruder for the last time. Margaretta has a difficult time unclasping Anastasiaʼs arms from herself but eventually manages to put the child back to bed.

She returns to the sick room as soon as she is able to and stumbles upon the strange new doctor.

"The little child is no better", the specialist informs her.

"What is wrong?" Miss Eagar asks.

"Paralysis of the heart. I have given her many injections, both of caffeine and camphor, but to no avail."

Hours go by. The doctors refuse give up. They continue providing Elizabeth with stimulants quite regularly, and for a while she appears to improve. Suddenly, however, the Hessian princess sits up in her bed and looks from one person to the other with wide, frightened eyes.

"I'm dying!" She cries out loudly. "I'm dying!"

"No, my baby, you are good", Miss Wilson coaxes her to lie down again. "You are good my baby". The nanny strokes the childʼs hair, caresses her face, and takes her small hand in her own. Little by little, Elizabeth calms down. She turns her head to Miss Eagar.

"Send a telegram to mama", she anxiously requests the Irish governess.

"I will", Miss Eagar nods.

"I want to see her again."

"I will make sure of it, child", Margaretta assures her.

"I want to see her again, I always see her again, promise me you will send her a telegram."

"I promise."

"Immediately", the little princess adds.

Miss Eagar goes upstairs and calls for the Grand Duke and the Empress, who come down without loss of time. The telegram is sent to Coburg, to the mother.

Throughout the night and early in the morning, the doctors continue to fan the feeble spark of life, but moment by moment it declines. Elizabeth is so weak she barely moves.

Miss Eager distracts Maria and Anastasia as Olga and Tatiana sit with their father in the dining room. The two youngest Romanov girls are growing increasingly alarmed by the clear signs of distress their elders are manifesting.

Alexandra feels sick with guilt. Maybe genuinely sick. She is developing a cold and feels horribly guilty. Ernst is sobbing so hard he can barely talk. The Grand Duke of Hesse has visited his daughter's bedside, but he can't stay for long without losing his composure.

If only we had noticed sooner, Alexandra thinks. Perhaps she could have sent for a specialist even earlier. Possibly. Conceivably. Maybe.

Her dear brother is so heartbroken. He paces from one side of the dining room to the other so quickly that Alexandra can barely catch up to him in order to offer physical comfort. She wipes her own tears as soon as they fall. She has to be strong. Alexandra has never seen him like this. Not even after their father died, not ever. Her brotherʼs grief is immeasurable.

"God is with you Ernie, He is suffering with you, take comfort in Him", Alexandra gets Ernst to stop pacing. "She wonʼt die, she will just move on to a better place, a place where she will be so much happier, and you will see her again."

"If she dies, Alix", he weeps, "I will have nothing."

Unlike countless children with no such fortune, Olga was part of the lucky ones. She didn't have exceedingly worrisome thoughts nor problems beyond her years.

Problems beyond her years may still be unknown to her, but very recently Olga has become acquainted with the most worrisome of thoughts.

"Paralysis of heart…" She has heard the doctors say.

"…but the little girl is dying…" the servants talk amongst themselves.

Olga knew what death was already, but the concept has never been less abstract. She understands what is happening better than any of her younger sisters and has been crying in her fatherʼs arms for half an hour. She has been trying to pray in silence for Cousin Ella to get better, but watching Uncle Ernie cry makes the eight-year-old girl way too sad to do so.

Tatiana cried as well. She cried when she and Olga visited their ailing cousin for a moment. It made Tatiana truly unhappy to see her dear Cousin Ella so weak and fragile. Still, the gravity of the situation hasn't hit her yet. She is now sitting next to her father, asking him questions about the doctors and how exactly it is that they are helping her cousin. She sometimes rubs her older sister's back and says:

"Don't cry Olenka, God and the good doctors will make Cousin Ella feel better."

The entire Hessian entourage is in the sick room, kneeling around the bed. Many of them are crying for their princess.

Elizabeth has lost touch with reality. Her cousins aren't in the room, but she is talking to them nonetheless, seemingly imagining herself playing with them. She asks for little Anastasia, her "tiny cousin", and when Miss Eagar brings the little thing into the room, Elizabethʼs dying eyes rest on her for a moment.

"Poor Cousin Ella!" Anastasia cries, over and over again. "Poor Princess Elizabeth!" The two-year-old becomes so upset that Margaretta decides to take her out of the room soon afterward.

Miss Wilson hasn't left Elizabeth's side. The dying girl turns her head and gives the nanny a kiss.

Just another minute goes by.

By the time Victoria Melita's answer is received, the child has already passed away.

There were many rumors, among them that Elizabeth had been poisoned by oysters meant for the Tsar. None of them were true.

There was an autopsy made on the body. Princess Elizabeth of Hesse had been twelve days ill when she died of suppressed typhoid, but the symptoms hadn't manifested themselves until little more than a day before the passing.

Margaretta Eagar and her four charges left for Tsarskoye Selo that same evening, as it was thought better to remove the children from the lodge so that the necessary fumigation and disinfecting could be carried out.

Nicholas and Alexandra stayed. They both hoped to attend the funeral, but Alexandra was so sick she had to remain in Poland.

Kaiser Wilhelm II, the German Emperor, expressed shock at the child's death in a letter to Tsar Nicholas II on the day after:

"How joyous and merry she was that day at Wolfsgarten, when I was there, so full of life and fun and health... what a terrible heartrending blow for poor Ernie, who doted and adored that little enchantress!"

Ernst's little Elizabeth had been the sunshine of his life. He was inconsolable at first but had then gathered up the courage to comfort Miss Wilson, who had worshipped little Ella, as well as other grieving servants. These efforts soon drained him though, and the bereaved father ended up feeling nauseous and having to lie down.

Elizabeth's body was placed in a silver casket, a gift from Nicholas II for the journey back to Darmstadt.

Ernst arranged a white funeral with this color instead of black for the funeral trappings. White flowers and white horses were also used for the procession. It is what my Elizabeth would have preferred, he thought. She was like sunshine, always wishing to make everyone happy, like light itself.

The Hessian people came out by the thousands to view the funeral procession. Many of them sobbed for their princess.

Ducky, the girl's mother, attended the funeral along with most of her ex-husband's family. She looked miserable and noticeably remorseful as she related anecdotes about her daughter to her family members. Everyone felt sorry for her and tried their best to offer her comfort despite objecting to the fact she had started living with Grand Duke Cyril without being married to him.

Victoria Melita asked the Grand Duchess Elizabeth of Russia whether it would displease her brother to meet his ex-wife. A private meeting was arranged and Victoria and Ernst had a short conversation before the service. Ducky wished to see her daughter, so the coffin was uncovered for her. She asked Ernst for details regarding their daughter's illness as well as the last minutes of her life. They conducted themselves not as a divorced couple but as parents grieving for their child. Ernie was kind, keeping her close by during the entire funeral.

After the service, in a final gesture to Elizabeth and Ernst, Victoria Melita kneeled and tenderly placed her head on her daughter's coffin, setting the badge of the Order of Hesse that had been granted to her upon her marriage on the casket. And just like that, her last connection to Germany was cut off.

Elizabeth was buried at the Rosenhöhe with other members of the Hessian grand ducal family.

Alexandra has stayed at Skierniewice for almost six weeks, recovering from her illness. She has had painful symptoms, misses her daughters, and feels heartbroken over her nieceʼs death. Heartbroken and guilty.

She can't believe that sunny little child is truly gone. She has cried so much, making her influenza symptoms much more unpleasant. It is too painful to bear. Elizabeth's death has reminded her of her own mortality and that of other people she loves.

The little girl is in heaven, she knows, but she feels sorry for her beloved brother Ernie and can almost experience his grief. She feels sorry for her sensitive little Olga and wonders how she is coping. She is fearful for her babies, for her Nicky, for everyone... Alexandra worries about the health of her dear friend Sonia Oberliani as well.

Ever since she was a little girl, Alexandra has felt anguish for other peopleʼs suffering much more deeply than most. She has always longed to help people fight their battles and bear their crosses and feels completely impotent and helpless whenever she is unable to.

Longing to help and defend others is Alexandra's greatest virtue and sorrow.

Early during Nicholas's reign, the minister Sergei Witte was summoned to the Empress, who compassionately expressed her surprise that there were so many poor and impoverished people in Russia, almost demanding that he made it stop in a somewhat pathetic way. The man would have mocked her if it werenʼt for her position. Alexandra had sounded like a child.

Back in Darmstadt, when she was little more than a girl, Alix and her family had taken special care of almost all of the impoverished, orphaned, and needy citizens of Grand Duke Luisʼs small duchy. It had been a huge shock for Alexandra to acknowledge that the immense size and population of Russia would not allow for a quick, simple solution to the countryʼs many problems, not even those that involved the deaths of thousands of impoverished children. At first, she had been entirely unable to reconcile herself to Witteʼs explanation that what could easily be done in her former home was impossible in her new, adopted land, a nation she would come to love even more than Germany.

Alexandra has more than sufficient intellectual capabilities, but they are not excellent. She is awfully far from anything resembling a genius. She is aware and at peace with that knowledge. What she has is what God has granted her after all, and a good heart is always more important than wisdom, but she sometimes wishes her intellect were truly exceptional. She would genuinely be able to help Nicholas that way. But the only thing she can actually do is motivate her husband to be strong, for he needs strength to guide their beloved country through the right path, a path no minister should stand in the way of. Now more than ever she has to provide Nicholas with the necessary encouragement to lead the nation through the dark times prophesied to come.

Sometimes, the only thing that stops Alexandra from going mad is her firm belief God has a divine plan, signifying there is a reason for every dreadful and horrible tragedy that has ever transpired.

The Emperor and Empress of Russia are not fully aware of just how much is indirectly kept from them through the endless security protocols and censors of the Okhrana. Through court protocol or simple tradition. Through propriety.

This benefits Alexandraʼs sanity. It also keeps her out of touch.

It has been a sad and gloomy time at Tsarskoye Selo. Olga is having difficulty coping with her cousinʼs death.

"What a pity that the dear God has taken away from me such a good friend!" Olga lamented right after Miss Eagar informed her of the tragic news.

She cried a lot during the train ride back to Tsarskoye Selo. It pained her to think about Cousin Ella traveling inside her silver casket on another train.

It is not fair, Olga thinks as she wanders through the park with Miss Eagar. Her sisters are inside the palace with the other nurses, but she needed to take a walk.

Olga is wearing black. Black dress, black coat, black tights, black bows, and black shoes. She knows Cousin Ella had a white funeral, she was told, but black is what most grown-up people wear whenever they are sad because someone died, and Olga wanted to be dressed accordingly, at least once.

It is not the first time Olga walks around the park hugging her favorite doll, but Elizabethʼs death has made it a common occurrence. Olga is also back to sleeping with her stuffed animals, like a baby, and she hates herself for it. That is not how big girls are supposed to sleep, she thinks. Olga had stopped needing any toys to sleep with a long time ago. She is confused as to why she needs them again. And why is she so quiet now? Everyone seems to notice that.

It was too soon, Olga thinks. She wasn't even allowed to say goodbye. Not properly, no. And now she wonʼt be able to see Cousin Ella again for a really long time, not until she goes to heaven as well.

For an eight-year-old such as Olga, the feeling of losing Cousin Ella is similar to what she experiences whenever a playdate is over and her friends are gone, only much more painful. Painful in a way it had never been before. There will never be another playdate with Cousin Ella.

Olga has been introduced to the sad aspects of life. She can only look up at the sky and pray Cousin Ella is happy right now.

Tatiana has conducted herself in a truly devoted fashion, offering Olga her dessert at the dinner table and agreeing to play whatever Olga wants to in order to cheer her up. Making Olga laugh or at least smile brightens Tatianaʼs days. It is like a contest, one she often loses.

Tatiana has also been sad, but she hasnʼt cried as much as Olga. She does miss Ella though, and she feels horrible about not having used the toy the two of them prepared with such joy. Poor Cousin Ella worked so hard to put it together.

Tatiana wishes she had lighted the match upon the sand-paper, set fire to the tissue paper, and by its light played with the stones she had picked with Cousin Ella. She recently tried to do so in her room, but Miss Eagar scolded and reminded her once again that she could burn herself. Another nurse had then hidden everything but the stones.

Tatiana feels so sorry for her Cousin Ella. She is desperately trying to look for the matches, the sand-paper, and the tissue paper all over the nursery. Between her dolls and toys, under the chairs. Everywhere. The little girl does not immediately pick up on the fact everything has been thrown away, but when she finally does, she starts crying.

It has been easiest for Maria and Anastasia. They have kept on playing almost as if nothing had occurred, accepting with relative ease that their dear cousin is in heaven. Most of all the positive little Maria.

"She is flying with the angels, imagine how fun Olenka!" She will often try to cheer her gloomy older sister up with a tiny hopeful voice.

The only thing that truly bothers Maria is the memory of that horrid shadow man. She sometimes has nightmares where he hurts her dear Cousin Ella. Tatiana says Cousin Ella is in heaven though. Miss Eagar says so whenever she wakes up crying after having a nightmare. Everyone says so, and Maria trusts them.

One morning, Tatiana wakes up with a bright idea and rushes towards Olgaʼs bed.

"Olga! Olga! Wake up!" She shakes her older sisterʼs shoulders. Olga groans before reluctantly opening her eyes.

Tatiana ignores Olgaʼs mood. "Do you remember when you told me it made you feel sad to see Uncle Ernie crying?" She asks her. "Let us give him a present that will make him very happy!"

Olgaʼs quick mind starts filling with ideas. She gives her six-year-old sister a smile that makes the latter feel very good about herself. Tatiana sinks into Olgaʼs arms, and the two girls give each other a warm hug.

Christmas is overshadowed by the recent death. Although the Emperor and Empress have returned and thus provided their girls with much comfort, Alexandra is still sick with influenza, and the festivities without her have been less cheerful than they could have been.

Olga, Tatiana, Maria, and Anastasia have talked to each other much about Cousin Ella and how God has taken her spirit. They enjoy praying and discussing paradise, understanding that later on, God will take Cousin Ellaʼs body to heaven as well. Slowly but surely, these conversations have improved Olgaʼs mood.

"Did God send for Cousin Ella's body in the night?" She asks her nanny as soon as she wakes up on Christmas morning.

Miss Eagar is startled by the question but tries not to let it show.

"Oh no, dear, not yet", she smiles at her charge. Olga frowns, greatly disappointed.

"I thought He would have sent for her to keep Christmas with Him", she explains.

While it is far from being the most memorable of Christmases, a beautiful tree is put up in the playroom, just like every year. Nicholas opens up presents with his daughters and plays with them.

Olga and Tatiana receive a very nice letter from Uncle Ernie in which he thanks them for their kind words and pretty drawings of his daughter, promising he will always take them with him. Along with the letter, the two little girls receive a frame with Cousin Ellaʼs picture in it. Olga and Tatiana cover the photograph with kisses as soon as they see it, moving Nicholas deeply.

"So that you can always have it with you", Ernst wrote of the frame.

As Olga and Tatiana read letters and Nicholas plays dolls with Anastasia, Maria sits on the playroom floor under the Christmas tree, looking with great interest at a picture of the blind girl of Pompeii in an art book she received as a gift.

Nydia, the Blind Flower Girl of Pompeii, was the most popular American sculpture of the nineteenth century. The subject was drawn from a novel that ends with the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in a.d. 79. Nydia is a character who heroically attempts to lead two companions out of the burning, ash-covered city. Her closed eyes and staff allude to her blindness, her hand raised to her ear representing her acute sense of hearing.

Maria is already learning how to read, but she is often in need of guidance and clarifications.

"Why is Nydia blind?" She innocently asks Miss Eagar, who kneels down next to her as she thinks about the answer.

"Sometimes God makes people blind… or ill, or special for a reason", the governess replies. "There is always a reason, but no one knows what it is."

"I know someone who knows", Maria asserts.

"No, dear, I think not", Miss Eagar shakes her head, "no one knows."

"Cousin Ella knows", the little girl says. "She is in heaven, sitting down and talking to God, and He is telling her how He did it, and why."

The doctors eventually diagnosed Sonia Oberliani with a progressive spinal disease. The princess would continue to suffer from occasional periods of illness marked by loss of strength and fever. A gradual paralysis would set in as the disease took hold, eventually confining the patient to a wheelchair. The illness was incurable and would most certainly result in death. There was, Alexandra learned, nothing to be done but await the inevitable end.

Alexandraʼs sorrow grew larger and would continue to do so, as would the sorrow of Hesse. There is a reason why a ten-year-old seer from a village south of Moscow has seen death itself on them as a whole.

This chapter is like 50/50 on truth and fiction. If you want to know which anecdotes on the girls are real, read the "Princess Ella" chapter, from Margaretta Eagarʼs memoirs.

While writing this chapter, I was once again inspired by blendedislandartist on instagram. She has lovely Romanov art, some of which includes Ella.
In real life, Margaretta Eagar didnʼt specify which of the little Grand Duchesses said she didnʼt want to marry because it meant moving away from her mama. The obvious guess was Tatiana, and it very well could have been (I am not discarding it could have been her in real life), because she grew up to be the closest to her mother, but at the same time, they all adored their mother, and this happened when they were very small children, so of course any of them could have felt at that age extremely dependent on Alix and unable to imagine a life without her. My opinion is that it could have been any of the four really.

I put Olga out of the picture immediately for the purpose of this story because she seemed to be Miss Eagarʼs favorite (I am basing my opinion on the number of anecdotes featuring Olga, but that could also have been due to her age), and I rationalized that maybe Miss Eagar would have remembered and written her name down if it was Olga who said it.

I chose Maria and not Tatiana because the reasoning described by Miss Eagar sounded like it came from someone really young, but not "two-years-old" young like Anastasia. Maria was 4 when the conversation described happened and it could very well have been her and not Tatiana who worried about moving away from her mother.

Last chapter from Olgaʼs POV, I also made Olga discuss marriage with her father. By this point she has definitely already learnt it means moving away, and following the logic of the story, it would make little sense for Tatiana not to have learnt the same from her older sister, who was the closest to her. There was a bit more room for Maria to be ignorant about it still by this point in the narrative.

I also donʼt know whether OTMAʼs Prussian cousins were good playmates to OTMA as I described, at least not yet, but I wanted to introduce all the maternal cousins in one chapter. Considering the fact Miss Eagar didnʼt mention them at all and that I canʼt find any pictures of them with Ella and OTMA at the wedding, I assume it is possible that in real life they werenʼt with the girls at that particular event (Another option is that Miss Eagar only recalled things about Elizabeth because her death understandably shook her and everyone, she doesnʼt talk about the siblings of the bride herself either anyways, and they most definitely were there).

I got the information on the blind girl of Pompeii from the met museum.