Chapter VI – The Bad Patient

I did not lose consciousness, but I might as well have with my ears struggling to hear and my head foggy from shock. I could feel myself bouncing in Sergeant Lendy's arms as she hurried to the bunker, and I saw the lighting change as she entered the medical bay, only to turn around when she realized it was packed.

Commander Pillus caught up to us in the hallway outside the medical bay. "Bloody hell!" he spat as he looked me over, "take her into my office – use my cot."

I faded out for a moment as they moved me; the only thought my mind could concentrate on was how weak and vulnerable I felt. When my eyes could focus a little, I saw the bunker ceiling and light too bright for my senses, then Sergeant Lendy's face came into view over mine.

"She's still conscious," the sergeant stated as her eyes checked me over, and I felt a hand brush the hair away from one of my ears.

"Can you treat her?" Commander Pillus asked from the door, "the docs are all busy."

"Yeah, I see no critical injuries."

"What about Plender?"

"I haven't checked him yet, but he was unconscious and needs to be stabilized." The sergeant's face disappeared from my view, and I blinked my eyes to focus them better.

"Deal with Plender first," Commander Pillus ordered. "Where's the XO?"

"She went down fighting in the grove," someone yelled from the hall, "the medical droids are treating her."

"Where's Blinkers?"

"Last I saw, he was checking the perimeter."

"First Sergeant, get him back here now."

"Yes, sir," a female soldier barked from somewhere in the bunker.

"Zark?"

"Yes, sir."

"What the hell were you thinking, dammit!"

I heard footsteps shuffling near the door.

"She didn't tell me who she was," the lieutenant protested. "She showed up in a private's uniform; I thought you sent her."

"She's from Dromund Kaas," Commander Pillus growled, "I could lose my damn head over this!"

"I'm sorry, sir, I should have tried to stop her."

There was a pause, and I shifted my head to look at the doorway but could only see unfocused blobs.

"Get a headcount of able bodies," the commander finally responded. "I need a readiness report."

"You don't think they are coming back after that, do you?"

"Look around, Lieutenant!" Commander Pillus growled, "if I were them, I would press the advantage."

"Yes, sir."

More yelling and bustling echoed through the bunker, but it became hard for me to understand with my injuries throbbing. I vaguely remembered the arm and shin injuries, but the pain radiating from my left ankle was worse, and then there was the pounding headache between my ears. The pain made me try to sit up and reach for my hypo-spray. Sergeant Lendy came back just as I managed to get upright.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She snapped as she rushed forward.

"Hypo-spray . . . my pack," I mumbled as my head spun.

"Lay back down; I've got enough drugs for you."

I felt her hand on my shoulder, gently urging me back onto the cot. My throbbing head agreed and forced me to comply. I hated the feeling of being weak, of needing other people. Most of my memories were filled with people taking advantage of me in those moments.

She looked me over with concern in her eyes. "Your color is coming back, but you are still bleeding from the ears." She turned my head so she could get a closer look. "You must have had detonations right on top of you . . . blew both of your eardrums out."

"You're not a medic," I mumbled as I started to worry about what she would do to me.

"I might as well be – I've treated enough of my squadmates," The sergeant replied as she shifted away from me, and I heard packages rustling, then she swung back and grabbed my head to hold me still. Something contacted my ear, and I flinched away in surprise.

"Hold still, dammit!" she ordered, "I'm trying to help you."

I glanced nervously toward the strange object she held in her fingers.

"It's an ENT triage and reconstruction probe. I'm going to put it on your ear so that it can diagnose the damage and initiate repairs. Don't worry," she added when she noticed my look of horror, "it's not going to drill into your brain."

"I've already got a blinding headache," I complained.

"This will introduce an anesthetic; you won't feel a thing. It will help with the headache too, which is probably because of your ears."

Reluctantly, I complied. The cold plastic and metal felt weird against my ear, and then there was a sucking feeling as the instrument seated into my auditory canal. I did not have time to react further because the sergeant shifted my head and repeated the procedure on my other ear. By the time she straightened my head up and looked down at me from above, the analgesic property of the probes was beginning to deaden the throbbing in my ears.

"You okay?" she asked.

Strangely enough, the surgical probes could pass sounds through to my ears. I nodded my head, still unhappy with my predicament.

"I need to take your clothes off; it looks like you took a bolt to the arm and side."

I lay stiff for a moment, frustrated and unsure. I did not remember the blow to my side. The sergeant finished unbuttoning the shirt and looked down at me in vexation. "I'm trying to help you," she repeated. The private's shirt was easy to remove, but my pullover synth-weave top was not. The sergeant slid her hands under the material and pulled it up over my torso; I reluctantly loosened up so that she could slip my arms out of the sleeves and then roll me on my side. "You took a good hit on your arm, and your side is pretty angry too. It's a wonder you were still standing. Lucky they were using stun settings, or you would be dead."

"My ankle hurts the worst," I admitted.

"Which one?"

"Left."

"We'll get there," she replied, looking down my legs, "there's no damage to the boot, and I see no blood, so you won't die from whatever's hurting. I want to get some medication on those burns first." She moved away from the cot, and I had half a mind to roll over and sit up, but she returned too quickly, and I felt her take my hand and raise my arm. A cuff clamped around my wrist, and I tried to jerk away from her grip, looking back to see a medical band fastened on my arm with a puffy fluid bag attached.

"Get it off me," I complained as I tried to jerk my arm out of her grip. In a panic, I fought to control the impulse to throw her across the room with a Force push.

"Relax, it's doctor's orders," she countered, "standard procedure for triage patients."

"I don't need it," I spat.

"Yes, you do; the med sensors indicate you are slightly dehydrated. Besides, this will knock you out so you are not in pain and can get some rest."

"I don't want to be drugged!" I mumbled in a panic, looking down at the cuff and realizing that I was already feeling its effects. That was quick, I thought helplessly. "NO!" I moaned as little girl memories rushed into my mind unrestrained, and panic filled me, "don't do it," I whimpered as I thrashed around, "don't let them hurt me again."

"Shit!" I heard the sergeant gasp as she held me down on the cot. "No one's gonna hurt you," she tried to soothe me as I faded into darkness. "What the fuck was that?" she wondered aloud right before sleep claimed me.

I awakened to the sound of Commander Pillus talking, his low, smooth voice sounding a little synthesized. My mind slowly remembered where I was, and I realized the medical probes still covered my ears. A shift of my wrist confirmed that the medical band was still on my arm. I also felt something heavy and warm on my foot and ankle.

I turned my head and blinked my eyes to focus on the commander and two others sitting on the opposite side of his small desk. One of them, a stocky man with a chin covered in dark stubble, nodded his head in my direction, and the commander turned to look.

"Well, well, looks like the private is done with her nap on my cot," the commander drolled.

"You put me here," I replied in a hoarse, dry voice.

I tried to sit up and realized, when the thin sheet slid off me, that the sergeant had left me with only my black athletic bra above the waist. I was not particularly shy but felt awkward in front of the commander and his officers, so I quickly located the private's shirt and struggled to cover up.

"You don't sound very grateful," he replied. "Are you feeling better?"

"I don't know what I'm feeling," I complained, "there're too many drugs running through my system."

"That's Imperial medicine for you," the burly man interjected, "they get you pumped up so full of dope that you feel like a superman . . . or woman," he added as he looked between the female officer sitting next to him and me.

"Well, the sergeant's taken a shine to you, Sith," the commander added, "so you're in good hands. She's kept Zark and her squad patched together for as long as I've known her, better than a medic if you ask me."

"Can I get this off?" I asked as I yanked on the medical cuff, realizing I could not get my arm in the sleeve with it in the way.

"No, ma'am," the burly man shook his round head, "not even Commander can do that. They pop off when the medical procedure is finished."

I cursed under my breath as I shifted my feet to get them on the floor, realizing that I had some medical contraption strapped to my ankle as well. It landed with a plastic thud on the dura-crete when I finally reached a sitting position. Based on how the officers were looking at me, I must have appeared as disheveled as I felt. My cap was gone, leaving my curly hair to frizz anywhere it wanted, my shirt was half on, and Sergeant Lendy had taken the military pants off, leaving only my black tights on, with one leg pulled up over my knee. To cap it off, I had to pee painfully bad.

"Maybe you should stay put," Commander Pillus replied, "I'll notify the sergeant that you are up."

"I need to use the facilities," I grumbled awkwardly.

"Oh, in that case, it's to the left and down the stairs. Do you need help?" he added when I got up and wobbled uneasily toward the door, mainly because of the strange boot on my foot.

I waved him off as I exited the room, realizing that I felt better than when Sergeant Lendy laid me in the cot earlier. My pounding headache was almost gone, and my ankle did not hurt anymore, though I could not bend it for a test. I passed some mirrors on the way to the toilet and realized I did look as bad as I felt. It was a struggle to wobble into the cramped stall, and I heard someone step into the restroom while I was relieving myself. A check of my wrist-pad told me I had been out for three hours, and it was approaching dusk.

"Did you make it okay?" the sergeant asked nervously. "Commander messaged me that you were up."

"I made it," I grumbled as I pulled up my tights and shuffled out of the stall. "You need to help me get all this crap off now," I complained as I fought with the loose sleeve that I could not get on my arm.

She gave me a funny look. "You're not very appreciative, are you?"

"Sorry, my head's swimming with drugs, and I feel like shit." I looked in the mirror and winced. "I need to clean up. I've got rocks and twigs in my hair, and I feel covered in dirt."

The sergeant moved up to me and pulled out a small fob. She raised my wrist to elevate the medical cuff and then used the fob to get it to release. "You didn't see that," she mumbled, "it's against medical protocol. We'd better leave the boot and earrings on a bit longer; they're still fixing you up."

I looked down at my foot sadly. "How bad was it?"

"Just a sprain, but the assessment showed several tendons were pretty stretched, so I thought it best to treat it. You complained about the pain; the medical boot took care of that as well. It's waterproof, as are the ear probes, so you can shower and clean up if you would like. Showers are behind you around the corner; I'll bring your things from the commander's office and set them on the counter."

"Thank you," I replied as I turned towards the showers.

"Are you really a Sith Lord?" she asked as I took a few steps.

I looked over my shoulder, "I don't feel like one at the moment, but yes."

"I've never met one in person," she replied. "What was the freak out when I put the cuff on your wrist?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Fair enough," she sighed, "it sounded pretty bad, the kind of thing that puts people in therapy."

"Or makes them a Sith," I said pointedly as I turned and walked away.

I don't remember a time when a shower felt as good. It was an old-fashioned dousing shower with lots of water, not the low-volume misting or sonic type. I had no idea where all the water was coming from, and I did not care because it felt wonderful to just stand under the hot stream and let it wash away dirt, muscle tension, soreness, and even stress.

Sergeant Lendy had brought my stuff down, and I took my time dressing. My black outfit was my only one, and I had to use my backup pair of underwear and bra as the mission was already taking longer than I had planned. My hair was wet even after I had wrung it out with a towel, so I left it down. At least the dirt, rocks, and twigs were gone, and my hair hid the medical probes stuck in my ears, which was a bonus.

I could only put on my left boot since the medical splint was in the way, making me move with a hitch. It did not seem proper to wear a long skirt inside the military bunker, so I folded the stretchy material up around my waist to bring the skirt above my knees. Clipping on my tactical belt with lightsaber attached made me feel more like the Sith Lord I was supposed to be; I would not have been sad if I never had to act like a soldier again.

I made my way back to the commander's office. The door was closed with some serious discussion going on, so I dropped my satchel and boot along the wall and followed the smell of processed food towards the mess hall. The hall, which appeared to double as a ready room, was small like everything in the bunker and packed full of soldiers crowded around three tables. I picked up one of the metal serving plates and universal utensils and got in line. It took a couple of moments to realize that the steady thrum of talking had quieted and that everyone was looking at me.

The soldier on KP duty did not seem to care as he unceremoniously dropped the pre-cooked food tray on my plate. I felt out of place when I turned away from the serving counter with my food, and my instinct was to leave and find a quiet spot, but a hand was sharply raised from the crowd.

"Over here, private," Lieutenant Zark barked from the dimly lit back corner of the room. I limped my way towards him and realized Virdu; the Chiss soldier was sitting with him. "C'mon, make way, blokes," the lieutenant growled when he saw me stuck in front of several soldiers sitting on a bench.

I awkwardly shifted my way between the wall and soldiers to get back to where the lieutenant was sitting, all the while wishing I had just bolted from the room when I had the chance. Finally, I managed to get to the bench that the lieutenant and Virdu were sitting on, and they shuffled over to make room.

Thankfully, conversations started again as I got seated, and I focused my attention on the strange jumble of food I had been given. I was not sure what the dish was, and it did not smell that appetizing, but I was too hungry for it to matter.

"You're going to want some of this," the lieutenant whispered as he slid a salt shaker and brown bottle along the table towards me after noticing the face I was giving my food.

"What is it?" I asked as I picked up the bottle.

"Melkarny's mystery sauce," he replied with a grin. "Melkarny is the company's culinary specialist. She can't do much with the MREs, but she cooks up this sauce that makes everything taste better."

I sniffed the top of the bottle and decided it smelled better than the food, so I shook some on my meal and then added some salt for good measure. Not knowing what to say or do about the people still watching me, I dug into the food and ignored them.

After a few minutes of eating, the lieutenant cleared his throat next to me. "So, how did a Sith Lord end up in my trench dressed in a private's uniform?"

I glanced sideways at him and tried to keep eating.

"As a Sith, do you outrank the commander?" a random soldier asked from across the table.

I gave him a glance, too, but definitely ignored the question.

"You look too small to be a Sith," another random soldier joked. "How do we know you are the real deal?"

"Who would want to stumble into Crater Command at a time like this?" a third soldier chimed in from the end of the table. "Sounds like a Sith thing to do if you ask me."

I finished my mouth full of food while I looked around at the faces staring at me. "I get the sense you people don't get many visitors."

"Never seen a Sith up close before," someone responded, "if you really are one?"

"You're not going to get me to perform some parlor tricks for you if that's what you're aiming for. I'm not some traveling magician for hire." I took a bite of food at the urging of my still hungry stomach, hoping that the attention I was getting would pass.

"Aw, come on, how else are we gonna be convinced that you aren't some imposter?"

"She don't need to show anything," the lieutenant piped up as I heard scuffling next to me, "I've got it right here."

I looked over nervously as he pulled out a military datapad, pushed his plate aside, and set it on the table.

He glanced over at me with a grin. "I've got the private's entire engagement right here." He poked a few fingers on his pad, and it illuminated a hologram above the table, showing an after-action report. A few more buttons brought up a folder named private Jyndr. "Of course, it's filed under Jyndr 'cause she was wearing his earpiece, but we know Jyndr was in the med bay."

"Lieutenant," I sighed at him as he punched his fingers on the pad some more.

"Sorry, private," he gave me another grin, "it had to go in my report."

The tablet started with audio first, replaying the moment Lieutenant Zark told me to follow the outcrop, then video emerged, showing the view through the heavy blaster sights. Laughter broke out when the video showed my errant shots when I first fired the weapon.

The lieutenant looked a little nervous when he noticed my glare. "All military equipment is linked, private," he kept up his routine, "when you enter the Marines, everything you do is public."

"Shit," someone yelled out as the video played through the moment the Republic soldiers charged me, and I tossed the grenade at them.

I could have stopped their little game, and part of me wanted to smack the teasing grin off Lieutenant Zark's face, but I sensed it was light-hearted military banter. Many times in the past, I had to endure joking quietly, which bordered on abuse from my owner and his friends, the other workers around me, and then my fellow students at the Sith academy. I had grown to sense what remarks were well-intentioned attempts to build camaraderie and which ones were intended to hurt.

"Now this is where it gets interesting," Lieutenant Zark went on as a new clip started. I recognized the moment; when the Servant rose up and helped me on the outcrop. In the thick fog from the smoke bomb, green blaster bolts were shooting close past the heavy blaster's sights as the camera shifted rapidly.

"At this point, private Jyndr begins to perform some remarkable feats. Starting by throwing a flash-bang grenade approximately 120 yards." To support his statement, the lieutenant added a map to his report showing my location and the detonation of the flash-bang I threw over the outcrop before opening fire on the sapper droids.

"Bullshit!" an anonymous soldier cried out from the back of the room, echoed by several other naysayers.

Strangely, I did not remember adding Force to my grenade throw. It was perplexing to watch the events of the battle again. During the chaos, I did not have the chance to feel or think about anything, but the images from the blaster sights and sounds from the earpiece started to stir deep and intense feelings in me. I grew uncomfortable and wanted the video to stop.

Despite my discomfort, the video continued, showing the heavy blaster aim at the sapper droid. I watched the bolts that missed for some reason, seeing them carry on to impact the bunker's defense shield with splashes of dispersing energy.

"That shot was from 80 yards," the lieutenant bragged, "center mass."

The video skipped to the moment I pulled the heavy blaster off the ridge to defend myself from closing Republic soldiers. Under the incoming fire, the video seemed to blur as I jumped and ran along the outcrop.

"According to instrument positioning, the heavy blaster rose eight yards above ground and then moved almost seventy yards in three seconds." The lieutenant was watching me suspiciously as he spoke.

"Oh shit!" someone yelled as the scope camera focused on the two Republic officers I ran into along my escape path. A bunch of cheering and laughter went up when the two officers went down stunned.

"That, soldiers," Lieutenant Zark announced as he rewound and froze an image of the first officer I targeted, "was a Republic captain, and the second was a lieutenant. My counterpart on the other side of the line."

"Blasted the Republic's company grade," someone laughed.

"Damn straight, I like this girl," another replied.

"Are you about finished, Lieutenant?" I grumbled.

"He is finished," a strong female voice toned. Everyone straightened up, even the lieutenant, and I glanced over to see the female captain I recognized from the commander's office earlier standing in the doorway. Soldiers began picking up their stuff and heading toward the door as the captain stepped toward us.

"After action reports are classified, Lieutenant," she added sternly.

"Yes, well . . ." the lieutenant muttered, "I was just finishing some notations while I ate." He quickly shut off the tablet and slid it from the table.

There seemed to be a hard stare between the captain and Lieutenant Zark; then, she turned her gaze to me. "If you've finished your meal, Lord Kallig, I would like to have a word."

I looked down at my half-eaten food and realized I was not that excited about finishing it, so I stood and carried the tray over to the return cart. The captain had walked to the doorway and waited for me to follow her. I was suddenly concerned that maybe her ire was directed equally toward me.

"I'm sorry for that little show in there, Lord Kallig," she stated flatly as she turned toward me in the dura-crete hallway. "It's hard to keep up proper protocols when the men are under stress."

"I understand," I replied with a nod.

"Nevertheless, you should be treated appropriately and with respect for your position."

"Thank you."

"I was asked to bring you to the commander. Would you mind following me?" She started down the hall, and I followed.

"I'm Captain Wraff, the XO of this base," she introduced herself. "The commander and I run a tight company, Lord Kallig. You are unfortunately seeing them in a less than perfect light."

"I've never been in a forward combat position, Captain, but your team has performed commendably from what I've seen."

"Your actions in helping the Lieutenant's squad and the medics are commendable as well."

"They said you went down in the grove earlier," I asked curiously.

She stopped and turned towards me. In a quick motion, she pulled her shirt up to reveal two large medical patches on her abdomen. "Took two blaster bolts while trying to rally my men." We shared a look as she dropped her shirt back down, "at least they were shooting to stun this time. Sergeant Lendy mentioned you took a few yourself, even lost your ears in the bombardment?"

"I got these pretty earrings as a consolation prize," I replied wryly as I pulled my hair back from one ear, unsure what else to say.

Without reply, the captain turned and continued down the hall. We reached the commander's office and stepped inside to see the female medic working on Commander Pillus' neck. I could tell by how she was touching him that the two were close, and she had used his first name earlier when we were carrying wounded soldiers to the medical bay.

"Lord Kallig," the commander sighed as I walked in front of his desk, "I wondered where you had gotten off to. Looks like you managed to clean up from your earlier exploits." He seemed a little irritated when I did not respond.

"Lieutenant Zark and the men were giving her a little ribbing in the mess hall," the captain replied flatly.

"Zark," the commander repeated.

"Stop moving," the medic scolded as she put her hand on his head.

"What are you doing back there? I'm fine," he complained with a wave of his hand.

"You took several pieces of shrapnel from an explosion near you, and I'm trying to get them out," the medic persisted.

"I'm having a conversation here, Cander."

"Continue, corporal," the captain ordered, "the commander doesn't know what's good for him."

"You wanted to see me?" I broke in, feeling awkward standing there amidst the bickering.

"Not really; I just wanted to make sure you hadn't run off to do something brash like earlier."

"The captain was just thanking me for my help," I countered.

"I told you to stay put," he said as he gave his captain a sharp look.

"I couldn't sit still while the battle went on around me," I replied. "Don't worry, I wore a uniform and didn't use my lightsaber."

"Yes, I've got impersonating Imperial military personnel on my list, along with insubordination, misappropriation of military equipment, and reckless endangerment of yourself and others . . ." He brushed the medic's hands away, "dammit, Jayn, give me a moment."

We stared at each other hard, and I figured pressing my position was the best approach. "I want to move out now toward the Jedi enclave while things are quiet."

"I was just punching your ticket back to Toxic Lake to let Colonel Hurdenn deal with you."

"I'm not going that way, Commander."

"She shouldn't be going anywhere," Jayn spoke up. "She's wearing my medical equipment."

The commander's lips twisted in frustration. "Take them off."

For once, I was wholeheartedly in agreement.

The medic had picked up her holo-pad and was thumbing it for a moment. "According to the procedure log, her ears won't be repaired for another two hours, and the ankle needs another four."

"Take them off," I growled, knocking the boot on the dura-crete floor.

"No!" She shot back at me. "I'm sorry, Lord, but in my medical judgment, it is not safe. The reconstruction on your left ear was substantial; the procedure needs to complete to ensure full healing." She held up her hand when she saw I would protest further. "Part of the inner ear was damaged, ma'am; if it is not healed properly, it could affect your balance or give you bouts of vertigo."

I heard every word she said and could not argue with her recommendation, but at the same time, I could not tolerate the whole day that had slipped away without any progress in my mission. Anger and frustration welled up in me. I could feel that dark hole in my gut swell.

The commander saw the look in my eyes, and at that moment, I saw the hardened soldier staring back at me, his body tense. "You heard the doc, Sith. It looks like we have to put up with each other a while longer."

The Force seemed to pool around me, and a dangerous part of me wanted to use it to lash out. I felt the rush of blood to my head and saw a tint of red in my eyes. They aren't the enemy; I urged myself to calm down; it's not their fault. Still, frustration was like a wrecking ball in my mind, and I knew I could not open my mouth without saying something regrettable, so I stormed out of the room.

In the hallway, I bent down to grab the stuff I had dropped earlier and stopped to take a breath, fighting to control the dark thoughts inside me. I saw a motion and looked over to see the captain had followed me, watching me closely.

"I'm sorry, my Lord," she spoke softly, "is there a way I can help?"

I took another deep breath. "I need to meditate and do my daily routine; is there someplace private I can go?"

She thought a moment, "The most private place I know in the bunker is down in the mechanical room. It's hot and noisy; no one likes to go down there."

"It will do; which way?"

She led me past the mess hall and down a dark corridor to a set of stairs. I noticed she stopped at the stairs while I kept going, and I was glad to be alone for a while. The mechanical room was cramped and warm like the captain said, and the churning of equipment and the hum of electronics created a steady thrum of noise around me.

I could not find a seat, so I slumped down on the floor against the dura-crete wall and closed my eyes. The whole Taris mission felt like a disaster, and my mind reverberated with the anxiety of passing time and the anger of unfulfilled objectives. I brushed my sleeve back to look at my wrist-com. The local time was nine pm, just after sunset. Based on my conversation with Andronikos, I should be infiltrating the Jedi enclave right now.

My hand absently fidgeted through my satchel and felt a lump in my cloak. It was Elios' EMP emitter. A reckless thought flickered through my mind, wondering if setting off his toy might deactivate the medical probes and brace. I knew it was crazy, but still, I absently pulled the little black device out and held it in my hands. Use the EMP device to remove the equipment, and then sneak out of the bunker, and you could be near the enclave in an hour. It was an impulsive and teasing temptation, but it held risks.

I hovered in that internal battle for a bit and then managed to calm myself enough to put the device away. It made no sense to make Delba Company and Commander Pillus enemies, and it made less sense to risk my health by removing the medical probes early.

Using the hum of the equipment around me, I slipped into meditation and tried to focus on controlling my emotions and the dark Force thoughts that seemed to be urging them on. The ghosts inside me seemed close to the surface, silently taunting me. The swirling darkness inside was almost out of control, as it had been since Thanaton killed me. A Sith harnessed the power of their emotions by controlling them, not letting them loose in a wild and dangerous surge.

It took time, but slowly I managed to work some calm into my form, listening to the drone of the equipment and toning out a soft melodic hum in return, touching my fingers together in front of me, feeling my bodies energy radiate down one arm, through fingers, and up the other arm in a cycle, seeing without seeing through my closed eyes. As I meditated, I reached out through the Force, sensing the company activity around the bunker, feeling the energy field protecting us reverberating with the hum of the equipment surrounding me.

I tried reaching farther out, but instead, my thoughts were jerked towards a memory. Thanaton was initiating his Force drain on me, and my defenses were collapsing. I could feel my life failing, see darkness surround me, yet the memory shifted, and I saw the events through the Servant's eyes. The Force ghosts, Darth Andru, and the Servant knew my plan would fail; I could sense it. We wanted you to fail, the Servant admitted in my mind. You will not control us for long.

The Servant's memories continued, and I sensed that the ghosts enjoyed my demise. When death embraced me and my body slumped to the floor, I perceived that the spirits were free. My Force-walk binding on them was gone, and they could have left at that moment. We would not own you then, the Servant whispered into my mind, and would not be free to wander the Empire as we wanted. So instead of leaving me to die at that moment, the ghosts strengthened their bond to me and kept a slender tether through me into the mortal world. How; I could not fathom.

Now added to my dissatisfaction was knowing that I owed the Force ghosts my life. You will fail, little one, and when you do, we will be the master, and you will serve us. It was a terrible thought that the Servant planted in my mind. They were plotting against me, using their greater knowledge and experience to entrap me. How could I compete? I was out of my league, with minimal Force experience to counter them or Thanaton.

I shook the terrible thoughts from my mind; used meditation to try to push the ghosts down into the darkness at my core, away from my conscious thoughts. Fear crept in, however, and I struggled to maintain my focus. It felt like I was losing battles on all fronts, and tiredness fell over me.