Chapter X – The Padawan

I left the bunker just before dusk, not telling anyone I was leaving to avoid awkward conversations or questions. I had a sense that my window of opportunity was closing and needed to be on my way. There was a momentary thought that I should say goodbye to the commander or Brand, but I chose not to. I made my way to the trench where I had tried my hand at being a soldier, a place I could slip under the shield without a fuss. After activating the blast door under the shield, I was unexpectedly confronted by Lieutenant Zark standing just on the other side.

"Private," he grinned before noticing my serious face. "Are you leaving us?"

I nodded under my hood, and he stepped aside for me. As I mounted the steps, I noticed Sergeant Lendy and Virdu standing by the shield with equipment in their hands. I stood awkwardly for a moment, feeling like I should say something.

"It was an honor, my Lord," Lieutenant Zark said softly.

I turned to look at them, "for me too," I replied. "Tell the others I'm glad to have met you all." I did not know what else to say, so I turned and walked off into the darkening landscape. I followed the path suggested by Brand, trying to remember the landmarks from his 3D map. The Republic activity seemed low, and I did not have to worry about patrols around the Imperial position. I made my way slowly through no man's land, my thoughts drifting through all the events of the past two days. It seemed impossible to believe I could have done so much, risked so much, and yet accomplished so little.

My com chimed, and when I looked at it, there was a message from Andronikos. I must have moved far enough from com interference to let the message go through. After tapping the button to play the message, Andronikos' face appeared in the holo above my wrist with his usual disinterested look. "It's been twenty hours with no contact," he stated flatly, "so I thought I would check in. I moved the Intrepid into geosynchronous orbit with the sun at our backs and deactivated its transponder, making it pretty hard for anything planet-side to detect us. I've been monitoring the coms and haven't picked up anything distressing. Khem woke up from his suspended animation hungry and upset about you leaving without him. It's all I can do to keep him controlled. He's worried about your delay, even though I told him we didn't agree to specific mission times or check-ins. My friends have arrived in-system and docked with the Imperial Station. Apparently, our supplies have been well received by the commander. We'll wait for your contact."

I was glad to hear that there was no news from Dromund Kaas and that Commander Yelka was happy about the help that we had provided. Now, if I could get to the apparition and absorb it, we could leave the planet Taris behind. I would not be sad to say goodbye to the forsaken world and all the complications I had encountered. As the light began to fade in the somewhat forested ruins around the Jedi Enclave, I worked my way closer to my goal on the far side near a small lake. There were droid patrols and sensors that I had to pause and watch in order to pick a safe path, and eventually decided to go into the large trees and use the limbs as passage. My small, wiry frame worked well in the trees, and soon I was within the perimeter. I continued to navigate the branches as quietly as I could until a motion on the ground caught my attention. It was the young padawan out on her evening wanderings.

She was a Togruta, a race that I was not familiar with. The spirits within me suddenly urged me to contact Ashara, to confront her. I was shocked. I planned to enter the ruins, capture the ghost, and get out before detection. The spirits within me grew more urgent; somehow, they felt that she was the key to the ghost I was looking for. Then, the padawan stopped, and I could sense her reaching out in the force. She could feel my presence, despite my best effort to shroud my Force aura. The girl looked up into the trees, but not right at me. My heart was racing; if she cried out, the whole compound could be on me in seconds. Slowly the moment passed, and the girl took a reluctant step down the path toward the enclave. I let her go, despite the urging of the spirits. There were too many complications involved in confronting the padawan.

In the darker, less patrolled area near the ruins, I dropped to the ground and made my way quickly to the cordoned-off site. Entry seemed easy enough, and I was about to jump the barriers when my sixth sense made me hesitate. There had to be sensors; I thought sharply as I looked more closely. I did not see any electronics, but I knew in my gut that they were there. Reaching into my cloak, I retrieved Elios' gift, the static pulse generator. Glancing around, I activated it, and Force jumped over the barriers into the ruins, scurrying well past the entryway before the generator chirped off. I held my breath and waited; there was no audible alarm sound that told me I was detected. The pulse generator was risky. It could blind cameras, droids, and other electronics in a small area, but it would be evident if someone were paying attention. After a moment passed, I felt I could breathe again; no one was coming for me.

I could sense a presence in the ruins. There was definitely residual force energy from some past event. I popped a glow rod in the darkness and made my way deeper. After scrambling over and around debris for some distance, I came to a stop at where I believed the source was. I was standing in the location marked on Elios' rough map. Unfortunately, there was nothing but broken dura-rock walls and collapsed plexi-steel ceiling panels, just as Elios had warned me. I waited for a while in the dark silence and began to realize that the spirits had been right. The apparition was not going to appear just because I was standing there; maybe the padawan was the key. As the moments wore on, I grew more frustrated. She had most likely completed her walk and was now safely inside the Jedi enclave. There was no way I could just walk in and get her, drag her out here, and demand that she summon the spirit. Cursing my overconfidence and feeling the rage of the spirits within me for not heeding them, I made my way back through the ruins to the barricades.

I was thinking about activating the static pulse again and had reached into my cloak when I stepped around the last piece of rubble and came face to face with the padawan. She was standing on the other side of the barrier, about twenty paces away, looking thoughtfully into the ruins when I came into view. We both froze in shock, then she shifted to run, the flight response triggered in her mind.

"Wait," I called softly. My first thought was to fight, my go-to response from a harsh past. It took a lot for me to overcome the urge to lash out in the Force in that moment; I was taking a massive risk. The girl took a lurched step and then paused, surprised eyes glancing back at me. "I won't harm you," I said softly.

"Who are you? What are you doing in there?" Her voice was soft and wavering. I could sense her fear.

"Looking for the spirit that appeared to you."

Her face looked sharper, worry edging into her features. She looked around, glancing toward the enclave. "How do you know that?"

"I know a lot of things, Ashara."

The mention of her name unnerved her more. "Who are you?"

"I'm here to collect the spirit and put it to rest. Isn't that what your Jedi Masters want?"

"Did you see it?"

"No, it wouldn't appear for me. That is why I need you."

Ashara looked over her shoulder at the Jedi enclave again. "I can't do that," she replied nervously, even taking another step away from me, "I was told not to go into the ruins, that the spirit in there is Sith." In the dim light, her eyes narrowed at me, "I sense conflict in you, not like the masters. You are more like the spirit in the ruins."

"Impressive," I replied, "you have good intuition."

"You are Sith then," she stated factually.

"I am here to put a spirit to rest. I am not your enemy." She didn't believe me; I could see the resistance going up in her eyes, see the thoughts entering her mind; she wanted to sound the alarm! "Don't resist me Ashara," I said urgently, "I don't want to hurt anyone." She hesitated but still looked ready to bolt and call for help.

I could not risk her alerting the enclave, so I set off the static pulse while at the same time raising my left hand to call up the Force around the padawan, wrapping her body in a Force crush as gently as I could. She cried out then, but it came out weak with the air pressed out of her lungs. I closed the gap between us quickly.

"Don't fight me Ashara," I stated as she struggled against my Force grip, panic in her eyes. "If you do as I say, no one will get hurt." I reached out and took the lightsaber and com from her side as I spoke.

When I disarmed her, she stopped struggling. Her eyes still watched me with fear and a tinge of anger. "I'm going to let you go now, but you know what I am capable of, so don't test me again." I slowly let the Force grip go. She seemed ready to panic, wild eyes darting around and body shuddering, but she did not bolt or cry out.

"Follow me," I commanded as I stepped off the small path into a growth of bushes and some rubble. Glancing back at the enclave with a worried look, Ashara followed. She was struggling with conflicting thoughts, but I sensed curiosity and interest mixed in with fear and anxiety.

"Calm yourself," I spoke more softly, trying to settle her. She was having trouble. "Remember your training, control your breath, focus." She looked into my eyes, confused, worried, and surprised. I took measured breaths to demonstrate while pulling Elios' gift from my pocket and checking it for a recharge. The tiny red light indicated that I had to wait.

"Your fear is almost nauseating," I scolded her, "I thought Jedi were supposed to be without emotion?"

"You startled me," she complained as she tried to compose herself. "How do you know so much about the Jedi and me?"

"I've done my homework," was all I said.

"Why?"

"I told you, to put the ghost to rest."

"Why?" Her eyes looked into mine, and my flat stare told her she would get no answer. "How do you know about the ghost?" She glanced over her shoulder at the enclave again.

"Are you expecting someone?" I asked as I followed her gaze.

"No," she replied quickly, giving me a worried look.

"Your concern for your friends is admirable," I added, sensing her emotions. "Be careful; your feelings can be used against you."

Anger flared in her still worried eyes. "You said you wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Not if I don't have to," I countered. "I thought Jedi weren't supposed to form attachments?"

"I can have a general concern for the innocent," she countered, bristling at my words. "You should leave before you are discovered. There are powerful Jedi masters in the enclave."

"I'm sure there are, but I cannot leave until I get what I came for, and I need your help with that."

She shook her head hesitantly. "I shouldn't help you." Her eyes drifted to her lightsaber in my hand.

I lifted it. "I will return this when we are finished." Then I clipped her weapon to my side.

I could sense her reluctance, and she seemed embarrassed that I disarmed her so easily. Glancing at the pulse generator, I noticed it was charged again and thought a moment about how I could persuade the padawan to help me.

"Does it bother you that the Jedi don't believe you?"

Ashara eyed me suspiciously but did not reply.

"I know the ghost is real," I continued, "I felt it when I was in the ruins."

"They believe me," she protested softly.

"No, they don't," I countered, "they think it is in your head. They think you are weak and having anxiety attacks."

"Master Ocera believes me," she snapped back.

"If so, then he is the only one," I replied sharply. "I am not impressed with your Jedi teachers; they seem closed-minded and arrogant."

"How do you know all this?" Worry etched her gaze.

I looked into her still fearful face. I could feel her Force essence and felt intrigued by it. "I told you, I've done my homework."

"Why?" The answer seemed to irritate her, and I found myself liking her inquisitiveness, but I was not about to explain my motives to her.

"Here is what is going to happen. You are going to go with me into the ruins. We will attract the spirit, whom I will absorb. Then we will come back out, and I will go on my way. Anything that deviates from that script will get someone, and possibly a lot of people, hurt. Do you understand?"

As she calmed herself, I could see Ashara's mind working. She looked at the barrier in surprise. "How did you get through the barrier? It's got sensors; they should have been alerted and responded by now."

I gently slipped my left hand out of its glove. It was the less injured of the two. "Take my hand, and I'll show you," I said as I reached out to her. She looked at me like I was crazy. "It will not work unless we are in contact with each other." I was unsure how the static pulse generator worked and did not want to take undue risk. "We cannot stand out here any longer, Ashara; take my hand."

Reluctantly, fearfully she did. The contact was strange, her warm slender fingers sliding across mine. It made me pause a moment. Oddly and somewhat regrettably, my mind could not think of a moment in years when I felt the welcome touch of another person.

"Can you Force run?" I asked. She nodded. "Then three, two, one," we sprinted together as I pressed the static generator for a third time. "Jump," I urged as we reached the barrier, and we Force jumped together into the ruins. I let her hand go when we were inside deep enough. It took a moment to find the glow rod I had tossed on my way out, and together we climbed back over the obstacles to the point where I had stopped before. Ashara followed quietly behind me. Once there, I paused and looked around.

"This is not where it happened," she whispered, "I mean when the Sith spirit appeared. It was deeper in the ruins."

"Very well," I replied as I held out the glow rod, "lead on."

She gave me a nervous look as she took the light source. "I shouldn't be helping you," she repeated, "it goes against my teachings."

"Just stay focused," I urged, "you're doing well, and it is almost over."

"I don't want to help you," she continued, "I sense conflict and danger in you."

"I told you that no one will get hurt as long as you do as I say and we find the apparition. That is all I've come for."

"Why?"

"My reasons are my own."

"It was my ancestor," she replied thoughtfully.

"Your ancestor was a Sith Lord," I mused, "how curious."

"He was obviously evil and wrong," she replied defensively, "and he was a Jedi first, as my mother and father."

"Yes, I know your past, padawan. I'm sorry it was so painful; we share that in common."

"I don't like that you know so much about me?" She eyed me cautiously, but I could also see a thread of curiosity.

"I have studied you these past several days because of your connection to the Sith apparition. I planned well, considering I would have to infiltrate the Jedi enclave."

"How did you get this information?"

"I will not reveal my secrets, padawan." I saw the look of fear in her eyes as she looked toward the Jedi compound and her friends. "No one is in danger as long as I get what I need and get out undetected."

"If you know this information, then so does the Imperial base."

"No, they don't. Only I have put the pieces of information together for a specific purpose. The Imperial Command on Taris has little interest in the Jedi enclave; they are more concerned about establishing a counter presence to the Republic."

"Still . . ." she thought out loud.

"The longer we stand here talking, the more likely we will be discovered. You must trust me on this."

"I can't trust you," she replied, "you are a Sith, and I don't even know your name."

"My name is Lord Kallig," I replied, "and even if you don't trust me, you must obey me for now."

She looked at me hard for a moment and then moved out, crawling under a plexi-steel panel bent against the wall. "I'm going to get into trouble over this. They are going to kick me out of the Jedi Order."

"Foolishness; stop speaking like that. I forced you against your will. They would be unjust to punish you for complying."

I followed her form as it wound deeper into the broken structure. We climbed over a crumbled wall and ended up in a large space with roof sections open to the night sky above. She looked at me and then motioned with her hands. "This is the place where it appeared."

I looked around in frustration. The apparition was not to be seen or felt. It was getting late, and I had already exposed myself to great danger. Despite my disappointment, the spirits within me urged confidence.

Ashara was watching me. She could see my irritation. "It's not happening like you planned . . . but it is not my fault." Her voice was wavering, and fear was welling up in her again.

Something about the padawan intrigued me, but at the same time, her fear made me angry. "There is no emotion, only peace," I stated flatly. "How long have you been training to be a Jedi? I see more of a frightened little girl than a Jedi in you." She stiffened up and glared at me. My challenge angered her. "Good, your form is better already. Use your training, focus in the Force; if it were easy, I would not need you."

Recognition seemed to light in her eyes; she sensed my compliment and used it to get control of herself. I could feel her Force aura focusing, feel her presence calm and fortify. "Much better," I soothed, "more like what I expected."

"You shouldn't know so much about me or the Jedi enclave." She glanced at me while trying to focus in the Force, her meditation wavering. "How do I know you will keep your word and not harm my friends or me?"

"Questions," I sighed, "so many questions, and this is not the time for complicated answers. I have a question of my own. Where is our Sith apparition?"

"I don't know," she sighed with worry. "It's not my fault. I don't even know how it happened the first time."

"I've taken great risk in coming here. Every moment of delay could lead to my detection. I cannot wait much longer."

"I don't know what to do," Ashara replied nervously.

"How did it happen the first time?" I thought out loud.

"What" She replied, not hearing me.

"The first time. Walk through the events that led to the first encounter."

"Oh, okay." She moved back to the crumbled wall we climbed over. "I climbed into the room and stood here," she stood right next to me, "then I walked into the center and looked up . . . I can't remember after that." She paused and thought a moment.

"Where did the spirit appear?"

"He was over there." She spun and pointed toward a debris pile on the far side of the room. "I looked up, and then something caught my eye over here," she started to walk askance to the pile of debris toward the far wall. "I stopped here and looked at something on the floor and then felt a sickening feeling." She took the light and bent over to illuminate the floor, leaving me in almost complete darkness.

Suddenly, I felt the sickening feeling she was talking about, and the spirits within me twisted my gut with the recognition of another of their kind.

"Oh no!" Ashara moaned as she straightened up and spun. Up from the pile of debris, right where Ashara pointed earlier, a reddish glow appeared. The apparition was a male Togruta, just his head, and upper body.

Ashara moved quickly to my side, and the apparition followed her with his ethereal eyes. "I told you not to come back. Not to disturb my resting place!" No audible voice echoed in the ruins, but Ashara and I could hear his words nonetheless. "Now you will hurt with the sorrow I feel." The apparition reared up, and the psychic energy around it swelled. I was already entering the Force-walk, seeing half real and half phantom, feeling half-life and half-death. As the spirit moved forward to attack the padawan, I stepped between them and lifted my hands. Its attack struck me instead, and I felt the sickening grip of death and Force power twist against my body and soul, but at the same time, my half-death grip became fixed on it. "What is this," it screeched into my mind, "you cannot bind me."

"Oh, yes, I can," I replied as my grip tightened on the spirit's essence.

"You will not prevail; I am Sith Lord Zavros; you have no power over me!" The apparition lashed me with its psychic energy, but it was in my grip enough that its attack was not effective.

"I am Sith Lord too," I replied as strongly as possible, "and you will serve me willingly or be destroyed."

"Never!" it lashed out at me again. I grew exhausted from the effort; the spirit's attacks were not physical but left weakness and unease in my soul. Slowly I tightened my hold over the apparition until it recognized that it was trapped. "This is impossible; the living don't have a hold over the dead."

"I do," I replied, the strange understanding that I was half dead inside drifting through my mind. "Now I give you a choice. Serve me for a time, and then be released to do as you wish once again, or I destroy you with complete separation from the force."

"I will serve, but beware, Sith, I will have my revenge."

The apparition stopped resisting, and I completed the ritual to draw its essence into mine. When it was over, I stumbled and went to my knees, vertigo and exhaustion overwhelming me. I don't know how long I was on the floor or if I blacked out. Slowly, awareness returned to my senses.

"Are you okay?" I heard the padawan's voice from across the room. I struggled to speak but could not; my lungs were empty of air. I tried for an agonizingly long moment to get my body to work again and drew in a few tiny breaths. I heard footsteps approach in the rubble and felt horribly weak.

"The ghost is gone; it went in you." The padawan was close, looking down at me. I was aware of my vulnerability, that she could take her weapon from my side and strike me down at that moment. The powerlessness, a feeling I have fought never to have again, was oppressive and terrifying. I tried desperately to force my body to act, willed it to draw in the Force, yet my form was dull and slow to respond.

"Are you all right?" She asked again. "I don't know what to do."

"I'll get better," I whispered hoarsely, "it takes a moment for the assimilation to pass."

"What did you do to the ghost?" Ashara asked nervously.

"I drew it within me," I replied.

"That doesn't sound good; why would you do that?"

I tried to shift positions, but my body still would not comply. Ashara saw my arms shudder uncontrollably and my form begin to sag sideways off my knees. She knelt next to me and let me lean against her side. "I have to," was all I could think to say.

"You feel cold," she said as her hand touched my arm.

"An effect of the Force-walk," I whispered, still struggling with breaths. I wanted to pull away and complain about her hand on my arm, but it seemed petty given my condition.

"What is Force-walk? . . . it's made you sick," the padawan added as her hand rested on my shoulder.

"It will pass, at least it has the other times," I sighed. My body continued to roll as a shiver went through me until I was lying across her legs, the hood of my cloak fell back, and my eyes met hers in an awkward stare. Again the aversion to closeness and physical contact peaked in me, but Ashara's presence was calming, and she seemed concerned.

"Other times?" she asked, "does that mean you have other ghosts in you?" She seemed so young and innocent in the soft light of the fading glow stick. The part of me not yet affected by the black hole eating my soul wanted to push her away, to keep her virtue from being marred by me.

"You should leave now," I sighed softly, still unable to control my body. "Is there a way out of these ruins that doesn't lead me back to the Jedi enclave?"

Her face tightened in thought. "I don't think so; this is the only way anyone has found. That's why they put the barricades up." She watched me struggling to draw in breaths and control my limbs. "I can't leave you like this," she added.

"Why not? You owe me nothing. Go back to the Jedi and finish your training."

"I . . ." she paused and looked into my eyes, "you need my help, and there is still the danger of you being discovered."

"I will be all right. Go back to the enclave and forget this all happened."

"I don't think I can forget. It is all so strange."

"Your curiosity is going to get you into trouble, padawan."

"It already has," she grinned weakly, "the masters don't like my attitude."

"I am on a dangerous quest to save myself," I said wistfully, "every moment a terrifying adventure. Everyone wants to kill the slave . . ." my voice trailed off as I ran out of air.

"Slave?" Ashara asked in a surprised voice.

"That is what I am," I whispered, "a slave trying to be a Sith."

"Why would anyone want to kill you?"

"To keep their control . . . keep the unwanted in their place."

She looked down at me in thought for a moment. "You said you needed me?"

"Only to get the Sith spirit, and that is done."

"Master Ocera thought that I have some affinity to the supernatural, which is why the ghost appeared to me." Her face was still narrowed in thought. "Maybe that is why I have an affinity for you?"

"Affinity for me?"

She looked away with a tinge of embarrassment in her eyes. "I don't know . . ."

"You want to be a Jedi," I countered, still thinking about saving her from the chaos of my life, "I can see it in your eyes. Leave now, and your life doesn't have to change."

"I know," she sighed, "it's just that . . ." She paused and looked away in reflection. "Do you think I can help you?"

I took a moment to reply. The spirits within me seemed to think so earlier, but they were now strangely quiet. The nicer part of me wanted to push her away, and this was my chance to do it, yet intuitively I sensed that she would help me. That I needed her. "Yes, I believe you can."

She looked down from her distant stare and into my eyes. I could feel her Force presence surge and surround me. Just like the touch of her hand earlier, I got the sense that there was a connection between us. Her eyes seemed to reflect that knowledge as well.

Suddenly, light burst into the room, and at the same time, I felt a surge in the Force. We had been discovered.

"Ashara!" came a strong voice, "what is going on here?"

"Master Ryen," Ashara responded, standing up in surprise and causing my body to slump to the floor. I could hear her stepping away from me. Desperately, I willed my body to move, and it was slowly beginning to respond. I slid a leg out and pushed off the ground with an arm to look back at the Jedi. Thankfully he was alone. "She told me that she could take the ghost away. She forced me to . . ."

"Get behind me, padawan," the Jedi spoke urgently, "she is a Sith; I can sense it."

"I know," Ashara spoke, her voice trying to calm her master, "but she did it; she absorbed the Force ghost and said she would take it away from here. That is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"There isn't any Force ghost, Ashara; it is all in your head. Now get behind me," the Jedi urged again, "this is no place for you; you should have alerted us."

"She told me not to," Ashara replied in confusion, looking between her master and me, "she said she wasn't here to harm anyone."

"Never trust a Sith," the Jedi reminded her harshly.

"It's true," I sighed, willing myself up on an elbow. "I am not here to harm anyone." My body and powers were recovering slowly, but I needed time; needed to keep him talking. "And there was a Sith apparition here just moments ago; surely you felt it?"

"The only dark side I sense is you," he replied.

"Then why barricade the ruins? Others must have sensed the Force presence here." I looked at Ashara and saw the anxiety and confusion on her face.

"I don't need to explain anything to you," the Jedi countered.

"Very well, then why don't we pretend this never happened and go our separate ways."

"I'm not going to let you walk out of here."

"Why not?" I countered.

"Yeah, why not?" Ashara asked as well, "she promised she would not harm anyone. Jedi do not use the Force aggressively."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ashara. I order you back to the enclave. Leave now!"

"What are you going to do, Jedi? Strike me down in this defenseless state? That doesn't sound very Jedi-like."

"No, I'm going to call for support, and we will take you in." The Jedi reached into his pocket and pulled out his holo-com as he spoke.

I looked at Ashara, catching her eyes. "That's not going to happen, Jedi," I spoke as strongly as I could while fighting to my knees. I needed more time. There was no way I could fight a Jedi master in my condition.

"Master, please, let her go." Ashara urged.

"Go back to the enclave!" Master Ryen commanded again.

"She didn't do anything wrong."

"She stands for everything we despise; she and her kind have killed countless Jedi and made millions suffer . . . killed your parents . . . Now, do as I say!" As he spoke, the Jedi lifted his holo-com to activate it.

I looked despairingly for a way out. There were holes in the roof, but I was too weak to Force jump that high. The walls were broken and crumbling, but the only way out appeared to be past the Jedi Master. A sickening hopelessness crept over me. The Jedi had discovered me at just the right moment, when I was weakest. Then, the Sith spirits inside me welled up and gave me an idea. I couldn't fight him physically, but I could Force-walk again.

"Don't alert the others, master," Ashara urged, "I don't want anyone to get hurt."

The Jedi ignored his padawan and went to activate the holo-com. I reached out through the Force with all the power I could muster, and Force crushed the device in his hand. It crumpled with a chirp and sparks. Before he could react, I lurched back into the half-world state, letting the ethereal energy of the Sith ghosts animate my body. I rose from the floor with that strange crimson-blue glow surrounding me. The Jedi looked over at me and immediately reached for his lightsaber.

I began to drift toward him, my feet lightly padding the ground. "You're going to let me pass, and we will go our separate ways."

"I can't let that happen," the Jedi said grimly. I drifted forward, taking light steps as if most of my weight was gone. How do I defend myself if he attacks? I petitioned the ghosts within me. "Don't make me hurt you," he said as I came closer. I moved to step around him, but he shifted to block me. I was within striking range and lifted my hands in defense.

He attacked, igniting his blue saber and swinging in a cut to take out my legs. The ghost within me, Lord Zavros, welled up and lashed out with lighting. I could feel the spirit's hatred and yearning for revenge. The purple arcs leapt from my fingertips and caught the Jedi full in the chest, making him stumble back, and his weapon flail wildly. As quickly as the lighting came, it was gone; my hold on the spirits was tenuous. The Jedi recovered and came at me as I pulled my saber from my belt. My crimson blade ignited just in time to block the Jedi's slash at my chest. I countered with thrusts and parries to drive him back.

I wasn't strong enough to saber duel him and desperately sought an alternative. Lord Zavros was back, and lightning arced from my hand into the Jedi's exposed face when I parried his saber wide. He stumbled back, stunned by the pain. The spirits within me urged for the kill, Lord Zavros pouring more lightning from my fingers, but the Jedi recovered, bringing his saber up to absorb the energy. He was out of the way, and I could escape; if only I could climb the rubble behind me.

"Please, master, let her go," Ashara begged.

I glanced at the broken wall and thought about trying to leap over it, but the Jedi was on me again. I was getting stronger; slowly, my body was becoming my own once more. A sharp conversation of blades took place in which the Jedi got the better of me, grazing my shoulder with the tip of his blade when my block was not fast enough. Searing pain coursed through my body, and in rage, I tried to Force push him off me, but the push affected me as much as him, and I ended up slamming into the crumpled wall blocking my escape. The Jedi charged, sensing victory, and I raised my saber in desperation.

It was at that moment that Lord Andru rose within me and used the Force to cause the Jedi to slow, a sort of Force lethargy. The Jedi realized the Force attack but did not fully counter it. He still came on, hoping that his saber skill could best me. However, Lord Andru used my Force-walking state to help me move faster in short bursts, the half of me beyond death being outside the reach of time. I slipped away from the wall and the Jedi's jab, then blocked a slow slash to my face as the Jedi tried to recover. The slowing made his movements awkward, and I saw an opening. Force-walking away from his jab, I slashed swiftly downward into his exposed thigh.

The Jedi lurched back in shock and pain. The cut did not sever the leg, but it was deep, making him fall to one knee. Rage welled up in me; the Sith spirits urged me to go for the killing blow. It was hard to maintain control, and what little energy my body had recovered was fading; I needed to act quickly. Lord Andru pushed my body through a Force-walk shift, and I lunged at the vulnerable Jedi. He brought his saber up, parried a few blows, and even slipped in a jab that grazed my side, but his effort left him open to my final attack.

The Sith spirits urged a thrust of my blade through his exposed neck, but I had already reached out with the Force and lifted a sizable piece of rubble. I blocked his blade from cutting deeper into my side, and Force pulled the rubble to my hand, making it strike the back of the Jedi's head with a thud before it reached me. The Jedi's eyes rolled back, and his form crumpled to the ground. The spirits withdrew into me in anger, pulling me out of the Force-walk and making me stagger back. I was in pain and exhausted, but alive.

"Master Ryen?" Ashara whimpered. "What have you done?" she moaned as she looked at me.

I was focused on escaping. There was no fight left in me. If another Jedi caught me, I would be doomed. I glanced at the stunned padawan and then made for the way out.

"What have we done?" she squeaked in a panicked voice. "You promised not to hurt anyone!"

"He attacked me," I countered. "I need to get out of here, and you're coming with me."

"I can't leave Master Ryen; he's still alive." She had hurried over to look down on her master.

At the top of the crumpled wall, I looked back at the padawan leaning over the Jedi. Everything within me urged flight, leave the girl, run away, and get to safety. I slid down the wall and took a step into the passage.

"We can't leave him," she pleaded. I glanced back to see the padawan appear on the other side of the wall, eyes full of tears.

"Ashara, get a hold of yourself and follow me, quickly." I didn't look back - didn't have time to worry. Tracing the passageway back to the entrance seemed to take an eternity, but I finally came to the barriers. My wounds were throbbing in pain, making it difficult to think or move, so I reached for the med-kit in my satchel and pulled out the hypo-spray. A blast into my side and shoulder deadened the pain and helped me think more clearly. I reached for the static pulse generator, but I felt a hand clasp my arm before my finger pressed the button.

Ashara was right behind me, her tear-filled eyes staring at me in shock and horror. "We can't just leave Master Ryen to die back there."

"They will find me and kill me; I cannot risk it."

"I can't betray the Jedi; I made a promise."

"Then stay," I replied flatly. "Go back and save your master, but things will never be the same; they will not trust you." I could not wait any longer and turned away to leave.

She tugged my arm again. "This is your fault too. A good man is going to die because of you."

I spun back on the padawan in frustration, wondering why I was even hesitating to leave her behind. "You foolish girl!" I snapped, "life isn't that simple." I fingered the button on the pulse generator; everything from my past told me to leave the girl and flee; just flick on the static generator and slip away.

A deep part in me, though, told me differently. It was the real me, lost and hiding all these years; it was urging me to be different, to be myself. In the few moments I had spent with the padawan, I sensed that we could have a friendship, something I had never really had. I felt it was a significant risk and would make me vulnerable. Did I dare to fight the seemingly tragic plight that seemed to control me?

I looked at the padawan and then deliberately stepped into the barrier. Red lights flashed, and alarms sounded. "Now, your master won't be alone for long. Follow me or not; it's your choice." I Force ran and leapt away as best I could, triggering perimeter sensors and droids in my wake; I cared not.

The Jedi enclave burst to life behind me, and green blaster bolts from the sentry droids careened through the woods in my direction. In the darkness some distance from the enclave, I dropped the Force run, too exhausted to continue, and quickly stumbled to my knees. With some effort, I crawled behind a tree trunk to catch my breath. Something was wrong with me. The last time I absorbed an apparition, it did not inhibit me as badly. There was an emptiness in my gut and lethargy in my muscles. The feeling was unnerving. Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching and raised my hand in defense.

The padawan ran past the tree trunk and then spun back on me. "We're not safe," she huffed through breaths, "they are searching for us." She pointed back toward the enclave where search lights began sweeping through the woods. I rose and moved away as fast as possible, getting worried looks from the padawan. "Can I help?"

"Not unless you can carry me," I mumbled. The search was growing closer, and I could not move faster. "Why did you follow me when you could have gone back to the enclave?"

"I don't know," she replied nervously, "I panicked, and it just seemed right."

We angled into a thicker stand of trees, and I looked up into the branches. "Can you climb?"

"Why?" she asked, following my gaze.

"I can't move fast enough to escape. We need to hide in the trees."

"It won't work," she shook her head anxiously, "they'll find us."

"It's my only chance. Up into the tree." I grabbed a branch and pulled myself up onto the first limb, using the Force to strengthen my weakened muscles. We climbed into the middle of the tree before droid beeping and people talking could be heard close by. I leaned into a hollow of the trunk above a thick branch and pulled the padawan into me, wrapping my cloak around us both.

"It's not going to work," she whimpered, her mouth against my shoulder blade, "the droids can see in infrared."

"Hold still," I whispered, feeling her body shuddering against mine. "My cloak blocks infrared. You need to calm yourself, moderate your breathing, and shroud your Force presence."

"I can't," she sighed.

"Surely they taught you how," I whispered incredulously.

"Yes, but I can't control myself." She looked up at me then, in the soft glow of the moonlight, her eyes wide with fear and wet with emotion.

"Ashara, you're going to be all right," I commanded in the strongest whisper I dared. "Don't let me down; I put my trust in you. Slow your breathing and focus; clear your mind."

She tried, and I tried with her. The droids moved underneath us, their search lights scanning through the woods, some beaming up into nearby branches. Voices could be heard calling to each other, footsteps drew near.

"They will sense me; I know it," Ashara whispered helplessly.

"Not if you focus," I scolded. "You are light side; I am dark. If we make our essence small enough, they should cancel, and the Jedi won't sense us."

"Okay," she replied unconvincingly.

The search seemed to drag on as we huddled uncomfortably in the nook of the tree trunk. Again, the strange thought swept through my mind that I was in physical contact with someone. The girl's body had stopped shuddering, but her heart was beating fast against my chest, and her arm was wrapped tightly around my waist. The lights and voices drifted off, and it seemed like we were in the clear, but then the droids circled back. The lights grew closer again, swinging wildly across the tree trunks and branches. A com chimed close by, and the owner answered.

"We found Master Ryen in the ruins. He's injured but alive." A voice echoed through the woods.

"What happened?" The searcher close by asked in a concerned female voice.

"I don't know; Master Ryen is unconscious and has lightsaber wounds. We can't find Ashara."

The padawan flinched at the mention of her name. I gripped her more tightly in my arms.

"Do you think she did this?" The woman below asked.

"That doesn't make sense. Why would she hurt her master?"

"None of this makes sense. Do you need my help with Ryen?"

"He's with the medical droids now, but I think you should look at him; his leg is badly injured, and he's got a head wound. Have you found anything?"

"No, the droids lost track of whoever set off the perimeter sensors."

"It's too dark out. You're probably wasting your time."

"I'm where the trail was lost; want to check it out for a bit."

"Well, don't take too long. You're out past the security of the enclave."

"I know." The woman clicked off her com. It sounded like she was right under the tree.

Ashara held her breath, and I did too. She had done a good job of calming herself, and I could sense that she was working in the Force to shroud her presence. I focused on the Force as well, meditated on covering my thoughts, trying to blend into the tree. Other footsteps approached from several directions; multiple searchers converged on our tree. I was beginning to lose hope.

"We lost them," a male voice called out.

"I don't think so," the woman stated. A flashlight began scanning through the branches. "It doesn't make sense that the droids could follow a trail to here and then nothing."

"Maybe they had a vehicle waiting."

"No, we would have heard it."

"Something is moving in the woods over there," another voice called out; a flashlight shone through the trees towards the small lake. Several droids moved in the direction of the rustling.

"I think they are right here," the woman's voice said confidently as she paced under our tree.

A crash and a series of warbles echoed through the trees, and droids sounded alarms.
"Rakghouls!" someone shouted in the distance. A droid went flying, emitting a high-pitched trill as its flashlight spun light through the woods until it crashed into a tree trunk with a thud. Blasters started firing in different directions, and people started yelling.

"Stop it!" the woman screamed, "you're going to shoot each other in the dark." While she was speaking, she struck a green lightsaber and ran off toward the commotion. Other Jedi struck their sabers as well, and for a while, mayhem reigned. I closed my eyes and tried to block it all out. The blaster bolts hissing through the air and popping against trunks and branches, people yelling and crying out in pain, droids warbling and beeping, and the rakghouls crying and wailing. The worst thought I struggled to get out of my mind was; can rakghouls climb trees?