Chapter XXVIII Mission Creep (Jaren Perspective)
"What now?" Kira whispered next to me in the dark. The lift hadn't moved in almost an hour, and the last passengers were a guard team on a routine check of several floors. It had taken us three hours to infiltrate the sprawling weapons compound where the Power Guard processing lab had been moved by the Imps. Agent Galen of Strategic Information Services (SIS) was likely being held in the lab, and I wanted to make sure we surprised his captors to prevent another agent's death.
"I don't know," I whispered back, looking in her direction but only seeing shadows. "Things aren't going as planned." That was an understatement. The plan was to get on top of the lift, wait for someone to enter, and choose the right floor. It sounded simple; just drop through the ceiling when the doors open on the lab's floor and take their credentials to get through the security locks. I never would have thought that traffic to the lab would be so light.
"You're being awful patient for someone who likes to charge in all the time."
"We've already lost four agents, including Chief Rieekan. I want to save Agent Galen from that fate if I can." Two days ago, while Kira and I were helping Master Ocera try and rescue Ashara, the SIS office was attacked by Imp agents and a few Power Guards. Chief Rieekan and three others were killed and the office was destroyed. Agents Diyaz and Tandor were at the Red-light Sector lab we had secured searching for data otherwise they too would have been killed.
"I get it, but we can't stay in here forever. My legs are beginning to cramp up."
Crouching down on the roof of the lift in the dark was uncomfortable, I had to agree with her on that. "Let's give it a little longer. Someone's bound to come along."
"Sorry, but I struggle to share your optimism."
Optimism was in short supply the last few days. After the Imps killed the chief and ransacked the SIS office, Agent Tandor went on an 'I told you so' rant, complaining all the way up the chain of command. On top of that distraction, all the ciphers and codes needed to be changed as quickly as possible to prevent the Imps from stealing any useful information. Agents and contacts needed to go dark and head to safe houses in order to avoid being assassinated, causing the whole SIS operation to lock up. Things were a real mess. It was only through the determination of Agent Diyaz that Kira and I had made it this far in trying to rescue Agent Galen. He single-handedly cracked some Imperial logistics encryptions and traced numerous shipping logs to the Imperial weapons complex we were now hiding in. More time passed by and just when I was about to move to plan B, the lift door swished open and a technician stepped in with a rolling cart. Finally, someone pressed the floor that the lab was on and the lift started to move.
"Get ready to follow my lead," I whispered to Kira as the lift began to slow, "things are going to move fast when the door opens."
The lift door swished open and the technician took a moment to get his cart rolling the right direction. When he was fully out of the small lift, I ignited my lightsaber and sliced through the ceiling. The man was too stunned to even scream when he turned and saw me moving toward him.
"Give me your security card and I'll let you live," I stated harshly as I raised my blue lightsaber toward his neck. He pulled the card out of his coat pocket and handed it to me with a shaking hand. I grabbed it from him and moved quickly down the hall. We knew where the lab was this time, thanks to a recon droid Agent Diyaz programmed to scan the floors for power usage. Reaching the end of the hall and turning left, I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Kira was with me. The technician was gone, and I had to assume he was hurrying away to set off the alarms.
"We're going to need to close off the lab," I said to Kira as we ran toward the double doors, "we can't fight all the Imps and security personnel in this complex. I'll go straight after Agent Galen; you find a way to block the doors."
"Sure thing, boss," Kira replied as I swiped the security card over the lock. "We're sticking to the escape plan?" she asked.
"Yep," I assured her, "out the window and back up to the roof." The heavy lab doors swung open, and I rushed through when there was enough space to pass.
The lab was large and brightly lit with mostly open space, rows of tanks stood along one wall and a control center was at the back. There were no guards in the lab, only a few technicians near the controls. I rushed toward them as I heard a metallic grinding noise and then a crash behind me. The technicians looked my way with stunned faces before one rushed over to a console and pressed a few buttons.
"Get away from there!" I yelled, Force leaping the remaining distance to them. The technician stepped back with his hands up as I waved my lightsaber between him and the controls. "What did you just do?"
"Nothing," he answered with a shake of his head. Then, alarms started ringing in the room and red lights started flashing.
The building was alerted to our presence, either by the technician in front of me or his coworker who I took the security card from. I looked over at Kira, who was still collapsing overhead piping and ductwork into the doorway. Satisfied that she had bought us at least a few minutes of time, I turned back to the technicians.
"Where's Agent Galen?"
"Who?" the technician closest to me asked.
"You know who," I growled, "the Republic agent you captured."
"I don't know, honestly," the man pleaded. "I was just hired to process lab data . . . I don't know anything about capturing people."
My senses were telling me the man was bluffing, but a loud clank followed by grinding noises interrupted my interrogation and made me turn to look over my shoulder. A moving wall was sliding back, opening up another area of the lab. Kira came rushing up just in time to see Power Guards powering up their shielded armor and readying their weapons. I forgot about the lab technicians and leapt straight toward the Power Guards. They were the same as the ones we fought the other day, armed with concussion rifles which they fired at me as I soared toward them. I used Force push to make sure one blast missed me, and both errant shots rocked the building with loud booms when they went off against the ceiling. My leap landed me close to one of them, and I slashed his rifle in two before he could back away. Kira rushed the other one, forcing him to switch away from his rifle as well.
We were better prepared for this fight. Agent Tandor had analyzed the weapons and armor of the Power Guards before he went on his whistle-blowing campaign and managed to determine some counters to the shielding. The most effective counter was a container charge of metallic powder which Kira and I set off almost synchronously toward our respective challengers. The canister sent an expanding plume of dense, sparkling powder which engulfed the Power Guards and quickly started shorting out not only their shielded armor but their staff weapons and even some of their cybernetics. The mostly defenseless Power Guards fell quickly to our lightsabers after that, and I was just about to wonder if the battle was over when a missile screeched toward us.
Kira and I Force leapt in opposite directions as the missile hit the floor with a bright explosion. I looked around for the attacker but had to jump again as two more missiles streaked my way, one hitting the ceiling near me sending a spray of shrapnel every direction when it exploded, and the other putting a large hole in the outside wall of the building. A massive Power Guard stood at the back of the hidden lab area, holding a missile launcher in one hand and a flame thrower in the other. He was an upgrade to the ones we just fought, firing another missile at me as I ran toward him to close the distance. The missile was so fast that I miss-timed a Force push and barely avoided getting hit. It struck the floor behind me and the blast threw me into the air, making me land hard on the duracrete floor.
Kira reached him first and was greeted by a blast from the flame thrower which she barely ducked under to avoid. The sticky, flaming liquid splattered all over the wall and floor behind her, causing that part of the room to become a roaring inferno. The Power Guard kept firing, seeming unconcerned about the flames, and Kira had to leap away to avoid getting cooked. I had recovered and was charging when the Power Guard swept his flamethrower toward me. Quickly, I raised my hand and summoned a Force push just as the flaming liquid shot out toward me. The geyser of flame acted like it hit an invisible wall and then tumbled backward into the Power Guard and his weapon. Somehow, despite the pool of flame around him, the Power Guard did not seem affected. His shielding must have been designed to mitigate the effects of heat. It was not the same for me, however. Despite not getting hit by the flaming liquid, the heat was too much and I had to back away.
As I did, more missiles shot out toward me, and I Force leapt backward to avoid them. One of the missiles impacted the wall close by and the explosion threw me forward painfully. I was injured, face down on the floor, and in a moment of panic looked to see the Power Guard walking out of the inferno toward me with his missile launcher ready. A strange sense of slowing time occurred as I willed my body to move and realized it was not responding fast enough. I could see the Power Guard's finger twitch and watched the bloom of the missile's rocket as it streamed toward me. I can't lose, my mind thought in that brief instant, not like this. Then, strangely, the missile arched upward and away from me, striking the ceiling with a boom a safe distance away.
Both the Power Guard and I looked in the same direction as a motion caught our eye. It was Kira! She had circled around the blazing inferno and Force pushed the missile away at the last moment. Then, she held out her hand, looking like she was going to Force push the Power Guard back into the flames, but instead, she set off another cylinder charge. The Power Guard fired a missile at her just as the plume of dust enshrouded him, and Kira had to dive out of the way to avoid getting hit. She had saved me, and I was not going to let the effort go to waste. Despite the pain, I surged to my feet and charged the Power Guard. He stumbled out of the metallic dust plume looking disoriented and in pain. With his shielded armor shorted out, the heat of the inferno behind him had scorched his back. Neither of his weapons were working, and he fumbled with his disabled electronic visor to remove it from his eyes so that he could see.
I moved in for the kill but was surprised when he pulled a short black blade from his side and deflected my lightsaber slash. We both shifted to get away from the growing inferno, and the Power Guard readied himself for hand-to-hand combat. Kira came at him from behind with her double-bladed lightsaber slashing, but he quickly parried her attacks and even got a quick slash in that almost caught her arm. I attacked to get him off of her, and he spun on me sharply. We stood toe-to-toe and exchanged cuts and parries. The Power Guard had heightened senses from stims or cybernetics because my Force instincts were barely quicker than his. It was a swift and angry battle in which I sliced through his shoulder armor, and he managed to knock me back with a fist punch after I blocked his blade. Kira attacked from behind again, managing to put the Power Guard off-balance, and I swept in to cut his leg below the knee.
The Power Guard cried out in pain as he fell to the floor. "Wait!" he yelled as he saw me raising my blade to finish him. I hesitated as he groaned. "The pain has broken the neural overrides."
"What does that mean?" I asked, sweeping my eyes around the room to check for other threats. The technicians were gone, and at the moment no other Power Guards or security personnel were in the lab to threaten us. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Agent Galen either.
"It means I have control . . . for the moment." The Power Guard slumped to lie flat on his back, his hands reaching down to hold the deep slash in his leg.
"Control of what?" I asked in frustration. "You set the building on fire," I added while observing the growing blaze. "Where is Agent Galen . . . what have you done with him?"
"I'm Agent Galen," the Power Guard groaned. Kira and I glanced at each other before she turned off her lightsaber and knelt next to him. "They mutated me . . . carved me up and turned me into a monster after they tortured me into giving up my fellow agents."
"We can help you," Kira said gently.
"I don't deserve help," Agent Galen moaned. "It's my fault that people have died and the Imperials have the Power Guard project."
"Let's not worry about that now," I stated, my eyes glancing over his unnaturally muscular frame and the cybernetic implants. "We need to get you out of here."
"It's no use," he groaned, "I'm done for."
"Don't give up," Kira urged, "there's always a way."
"No, not this time. The brain implant has self-destructed because I'm free of the neural overrides. I'm already hemorrhaging internally." His speech was beginning to slur and his eyes grew blurry. "You need to stop Sadic . . . Shadow Town . . . Excelsis . . ." Agent Galen's body shuddered and then went still, his eyes looking up into infinity.
Kira's gaze met mine, her eyes filled with sadness. "What do we do?"
I glanced around the room. "We leave," I sighed as I put away my lightsaber. "They're bound to break through your barricade soon, and we can't fight off the whole complex."
"What about him?" Kira asked as she looked down at Agent Galen's fallen form.
"He stays," I replied. "It's not right, but we can't carry him up to the roof. Come on."
We moved away from the conflagration, the smoke billowing around our heads making us duck as we made our way to the outside wall. The missile that blew a hole in the exterior inadvertently helped our escape as we climbed through the broken wall onto a narrow ledge. Emergency response teams and security personnel were scurrying around the building below, and we moved along the outside wall to avoid discovery. Kira pulled out her grappling gun and fired a shot over the crown of the building four floors up. She used the powered pulley to run herself up the cable quickly, Force flipping over the edge of the roof and out of sight. Even in the dim light of the evening sun, our activity on the side of the building drew attention as blaster shots started coming my direction. The pulley slid back down the rope and I grabbed a hold, engaging the device to start upward. The injury to my shoulder was starting to throb and drain my energy. I barely made it to the roof before feeling my grip starting to slip. Kira peered over the edge just as a red blaster bolt whizzed by.
"I need help," I grumbled, realizing that I was going to have trouble climbing over the edge onto the roof. It took some fumbling for Kira to help me jostle my heavy frame up to safety.
"You're hurt," she stated as I finally rolled over and got up on my knees.
"Yeah, from a missile blast."
"We've got a ways to go to get back to the speeder," she said nervously while looking across the complex roof.
"I can make it," I assured her as I got to my feet. We hurried back along our escape path. Thankfully, the roof was a complex system of mechanical and electrical equipment that we could weave through and hide behind when hovercraft and drones flew over searching for us. Once out of the weapons complex, we zigzagged through another industrial refinery to lose anyone on our trail and then made our way to the speeder. When we reached the vehicle, Kira demanded to drive, and I slumped into the passenger seat. As we flew away from the industrial sector, I could not help thinking we had failed again. This mission was a mess from the start, and now there was another dead agent and another set of hints to chase. The pain in my shoulder was beginning to radiate outward through my whole body, and I tried to meditate in the Force to keep from passing out.
Kira wanted to take the information from Agent Galen to the new SIS operations center, so I dropped her off at a taxi center before heading home to the ship. Setting the speeder on autopilot, I drifted on the edge of consciousness while meditating until I felt the craft settle down on the landing platform next to the Defiant. I entered the ship and went straight to the lower level to get medical treatment in the med bay. The ship's medical probe droid had just activated, and I was removing my burned and bloody tunic when Cen'Zeya stepped in.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, "what happened?" She stepped quickly over to me, making her lime-colored, loose-fitting dress shift and twist around her legs.
I was tired, aching, and didn't want to go over the whole story. "We got into some trouble in a weapons factory," I mumbled as I finished drawing my tunic off, concerned by the amount of blood I saw.
"Where is Kira?" she asked.
"Went to check on the agents' new hideout."
Cen'Zeya stepped close to me, and I could not help drawing in her scent with a deep breath. "It looks bad," she sighed, reaching her gentle hand up to touch my upper arm just below the burned area. "You're bleeding pretty bad, maybe you should see a doctor."
"The ship's a good enough doctor . . . I just need something for the pain."
The medical probe pinged and drifted around my head to my back. "Hold still while I scan the injuries," the ship's computer voice came through the probe. "Scanning now." A sequence of clicks and buzzes began to ring out in the small medical bay while the probe moved around.
"It must have been dangerous," Cen'Zeya said, "you almost never get hurt."
"An SIS agent was made into a cybernetic soldier and turned against us," I replied in a tight voice, trying to remain still. "He attacked us with rockets and a flame thrower. I got too close to one of the rockets."
"Looks like you might have some shrapnel in your back," she observed. "Is the probe going to be able to get that out?"
"I don't know," I sighed, trying not to beg for the painkillers.
"Well, I can do it if you want me to."
"You?" Despite the pain, I turned my head to look into her eyes.
In the bright lighting of the exam room, I could see the dark shades of blue around her irises. Her gaze was warm yet confident. "I've done my share of medical procedures."
"Are you a doctor?"
"No," she chuckled softly, 'just a medic of last resort on occasion."
I could barely focus, the pain was so bad. "Just get me some drugs."
"Looks like the probe is done with its scan," she replied.
The medical probe drifted up to eye level. "Scan shows first and second-degree burns in three areas covering approximately eight percent of the patient's body. There is a small patch of a third-degree burn on the patient's left shoulder. Six lacerations with foreign inclusions are located across the upper back, two of which are large enough to require medical repair. The patient has lost eleven percent blood volume from bleeding and is generally suffering from fatigue and dehydration, increased heart rate with decreased temperature indicating physical stress, and I detect a first-degree sprain in the Achilles tendon on your left foot with minor swelling."
"Well," Cen'Zeya quipped, "you managed to work yourself over pretty good."
"Something for the pain," I grumbled. Some Jedi could mitigate pain with the Force, but I was never so adept. In my tired state, it didn't make sense to try.
The medical probe chirped and hovered near my head. "Based on brain patterns I register a nine or ten on the denary scale."
"You don't say," I grumbled bitterly, stumbling forward to catch myself on the exam table.
"Lie down," Cen'Zeya scolded sharply as I felt her hands guide me onto the table. "Computer, prepare thirty mLs of Lydoxocaine for local hypo-shot treatment and twenty mLs of Bynophen with NSIAD for a general."
"I'm sorry," the medical probe responded, drifting over my now-prone position to hover in front of Cen'Zeya, "I do not recognize your voice protocols."
"Do as she says," I growled.
"Affirmative." The probe toned and then drifted over to the medical supplies.
I felt gentle hands on my back. "Locked me out of your ship's computer I see," she replied wryly as she leaned near my head.
"Oh," I groaned from the pain, feeling my consciousness slipping.
"Going to la-la land?" she asked, putting her hand on my head gently.
"Just hurry."
The probe came back, and I heard her instructing it on where to apply the hypo-injections. Thankfully, the pain relief was almost immediate, and I was able to think again. There was activity going on concerning my back, but I didn't want to focus on it and closed my eyes. At one point, cool sprays were applied to the burned areas. Cen'Zeya walked away to the medical supplies and then came back to lean against me. I felt pulling and stretching which made me wince despite the analgesic as she began picking things out of my back. When that was done, I felt her move down to my leg and begin removing my boots. The medical probe drifted over me and began applying spray on bandaging specially designed for burn injuries.
When my left boot came off, I definitely felt pain in my ankle. "Yep," I heard Cen'Zeya sigh as I felt her hand lift my foot gently, "you've got some swelling in your leg just above the ankle." She moved over to the supply cabinet and returned with a medical sleeve. Sliding it over my foot and onto my ankle, she activated the sleeve and it tightened over my leg, restricting my ankle movement and applying cooling to reduce the swelling.
When the procedures were all done, I began to get sleepy. Cen'Zeya wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me up the stairs to my room. The sensation of her skin against mine and her curvy frame bumping me stirred interest despite my tiredness. It had been four days since I had any intimacy with anyone which could be a multi-year record for me. That abstinence was not sitting well with my physical nature, and Cen'Zeya's proximity was a strong temptation. I rolled onto the mattress and let out a sigh, thinking a bed never felt that good. The exhaustion weighed on me, and I realized it was probably caused by Force use as much or more than any physical exertion. There was a shift in the bed as Cen'Zeya sat down next to me.
"You can go," I mumbled, not having the energy to talk and still aware of my stirring desires.
"That's it?" She asked, "patch you up, drag you to bed - only to be summarily dismissed."
"Yep," I agreed weakly as I rolled on my side away from her.
"You're ignoring us," she added after a moment.
"I've been a little busy, if you haven't noticed," I countered. "Things haven't gone well . . . people have died."
"You could at least talk to us," she complained, "let Bzy know what's happening."
I laid still for a while, almost drifting to sleep. Part of me was hoping she would leave. In truth, I was avoiding them, mostly because of everything going on with our mission at the moment, but also because of the complications between the three of us. Cen'Zeya remained on the bed, however, waiting patiently.
"I'm not one for much talking, you know that by now."
"You're upsetting Bzy," she huffed.
Talking about B'Zeya made me wonder where she was. "Where is she?"
"She hasn't been sleeping well, so I gave her a sedative. It's going to make her angry when it wears off and she finds out that you came home injured while she was out."
"Trouble sleeping?" I sighed, thinking no one could possibly have trouble sleeping at the moment based on the way I felt.
"Yes, you're ignoring her and running off into danger and she senses all of that. I thought we had an agreement?"
"Not fair," I sighed sleepily. "You can't drug me and then perform an interrogation."
"Now is the perfect time for an interrogation," she chuckled.
I yanked the covers up roughly and tried to ignore her.
"Kira mentioned something about you being in a red light district the other day. Have you been screwing around?"
"None of your business," I protested.
"We talked about this," she hissed. "You said you wouldn't hurt my sister."
"I haven't hurt her."
"You're ignoring her, and you haven't touched either one of us in days."
"I touched you just now."
"You know what I mean," she continued. "That's not like you."
I rolled, gingerly, so that I could look at her. Her expression was harsh, and I didn't like it. "I told you both that I was dealing with stuff; that Master Din expected a report from me. Things have been pretty chaotic the past week, you know." Her dark eyes bore into me and told me none of those excuses counted. "No," I answered before closing my eyes.
"No, what?" she asked with a whisper.
"I haven't in days." Sleep was pulling at me strongly.
I felt the bed shift, and then Cen'Zeya's lips touch my forehead. "Interesting," she whispered before getting up. "Leave your door unlocked so that I can check on you," she stated from the doorway, waiting until I told the ship's computer to let her enter before leaving.
Voices echoed into my sleepy mind and slowly brought me to consciousness. The twins were in my room, B'Zeya sitting next to me on the bed and Cen'Zeya leaning over, checking the small screen on the boot affixed to my ankle. I hoped the sleeve was doing something because my leg ached; everything did. A moan escaped my lips when I shifted and put too much weight on my back where the burns were.
"You're awake," B'Zeya chirped. "What in galaxies have you done to yourself?"
"Oh," I groaned.
"Your meds wore off," Cen'Zeya stated as she stepped closer and bent over to look into my face.
"More," I mumbled.
"I'll go fetch the medical probe," she said as her face disappeared from my view.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" B'Zeya asked as her hand touched my arm.
"Can you get one of my water bottles?" I said with a hoarse voice.
I felt the bed shift as she left and when she returned. There was a click of plastic as she opened the cap. Laying on my side away from her was awkward, so I gently rolled over with a few grunts and groans. I looked up into her worried face as she dipped the bottle to my lips. It felt weird to feel like an invalid, so I reached up and grabbed the bottle from her before taking a deep swig, then taking another gulp before handing her the bottle back.
"How did this happen? Is Kira okay?"
"Yeah, is she back?"
"I don't know. I got up and came to your room as soon as I found out you were hurt."
"We went to an Imperial weapons factory on a mission and got into a fight. I was dodging explosions and apparently didn't dodge far enough."
"Cenny said the burns looked bad. I'm mad at her for sneaking sleep medicine into my drink."
"Don't be mad at your sister," I sighed and shifted to try to get more comfortable. "She cares about you and doesn't like that you're not sleeping."
"I know," she agreed. "She said you're ignoring us."
"I'm not," I protested before I caught the emotional look in her eyes, "not exactly, anyway. Things have been really busy."
Her eyebrows lifted like a bullshit meter. "You haven't even said hi to me the last two days, and you haven't eaten any of Cenny's cooking."
Relationships are hard, I thought absently as I tried to find something to say, no wonder Jedi are supposed to avoid them. "You're right," I mumbled, "I have kept to myself the past few days, but it's not because of you - mostly." The 'mostly' addition was a mistake. I sensed that the moment the word came out, but I was trying honesty for a change.
"Mostly," B'Zeya repeated harshly.
"I could use that medicine now," I groaned.
"What do you mean, mostly?"
"I'm supposed to be moderating myself, so I'm trying to avoid temptations."
"I'm a temptation?" she asked in a confused tone, not sure what to make of my admission.
"Yeah, probably the greatest one I've got at the moment." It was true because the black sleep shirt she was wearing had several open buttons, and I could see quite a bit of cleavage.
B'Zeya noticed where my eyes were focused and leaned over to give me a better view. "I don't like you ignoring me." She whispered into my ear while brushing my hair with her fingers.
"It's not been very much fun for me either," I admitted.
"Cenny thinks you're ignoring us because you're being selfish and that you don't like complications."
"She's right," I admitted, sticking with the honesty tactic. B'Zeya leaned back and glared at me. "Oh, it's no mystery that I'm selfish," I added.
"I'm not complicated," she protested.
Yeah, there was that. I was hoping she would focus on the other word. "The conversation we are having right now, would you admit that it is likely the deepest one we've had?"
"No," she countered, "the fight we had the other day was deeper."
"Okay, and maybe you teasing me about 'little Dwars running around' about a week ago, but beyond that, our relationship has not been one with a lot of talking." Her eyes were watching me thoughtfully. I could tell that she agreed with my premise. "All those conversations have occurred in the past two weeks."
"So," she protested.
"So, you have to admit that it's a change."
"A few conversations? You can't tell me you're that shallow."
"I'm not shallow, but I'm also usually not forthright . . . with anyone really. I'm not saying that's a good thing either."
"Then I'm helping you," she grinned.
"Maybe . . . I mean according to the 'Jedi Way' I'm not supposed to form attachments, so maybe being forthright is anti-Jedi."
"That's dumb," she grumbled.
"And confusing," I added.
"Are you telling me that the Jedi want you to be selfish and reserved and not get to know anyone?"
"I think they would leave the selfish part out . . . but when you think more deeply about it, I'm not sure about that either. The 'get to know anyone' part, I'm pretty sure is true."
"That's ridiculous," she said in a rising voice, "how can anyone live like that?"
"I'm struggling to figure that out. Apparently, when I first showed up on Tython, my attitude was fine, but now I'm 'problematic'."
"But you're the same person as when we first met," she protested.
"Not according to Kira and Master Din."
"How have you changed?"
"I've supposedly grown attached to you."
She sat in thought for a moment, I could almost see the ideas passing through her eyes. "Wait, so you are saying that according to the Jedi, you can go to a brothel every day and have sex, and that's okay, but if you get to know any of the girls or like them as a person, then you have broken their code?"
"That appears to be what I'm being told."
She looked away from me and I could see anger on her face. "So, you can use me, as long as you don't care about me," she said flatly.
"Bzy, I don't want to use you."
Tears began to well in her eyes and she scurried out of the bed and headed toward the door. Unfortunately, Cen'Zeya entered at that moment with the medical probe, and B'Zeya almost ran into them. Shit! I yelled in my mind, I just made everything worse. Cen'Zeya stepped over to the bed staring at me like laser beams were going to shoot from her dark eyes.
"What the hell happened?" she asked angrily.
"I can't be held accountable for anything," I shook my hand in front of her, "I'm injured and in pain."
"What did you say to her?"
"Give me the drugs first . . ." Thankfully, she did, and after numerous hypo-injections around the burns, I started to feel better. She took a moment to inspect the injuries under the bandages to make sure everything was okay, and while she was doing that, Kira appeared in the open doorway.
"How's the patient?" she asked.
"I'm okay," I answered. "How are the agents and the new office?"
She took a step into the room; exchanging a look with Cen'Zeya. "They're still jumpy, but the place looks secure and the general's replacements seem competent enough. Agent Diyaz helped me locate the Imperial operation in Shadow Town; it's in a building operated by Excelsis Corp, just as Agent Galen stated. The building is in a strongly held Imperial area, however, and isn't going to be easy to get into."
"We should move quickly," I grumbled.
"Yeah, that's not going to happen," Kira drawled with a shake of her head. "General Var Suthra is getting heat from the Republic diplomatic team. The Hutts have noticed our little conflict with Lord Sadic and want to know what's going on. The General has told everyone to lay low until things are sorted out."
"That's a disaster!" I sighed while kicking my legs to the side and sitting up. "We're giving Sadic time to move his operation."
"I don't know. He might be assuming that Agent Galen . . . er . . . Super-Galen, finished us off. Maybe he doesn't think he has anything to worry about. Besides, it certainly looks like you could take a few days to recover."
"How did you manage to stay uninjured?" Cen'Zeya asked coolly.
Kira shot her a look. "Because Super-Jedi her," she poked her thumb toward me, "needed to be a hero."
"I'm glad you didn't get hurt," I added. "Better me than you."
"Sure," she agreed, "and no one getting hurt better still."
"Thank you for saving me, by the way."
Kira's gaze seemed to soften. "It's nothing you wouldn't have done for me."
"Even so, it was a slick move," I added. "I would have been dead meat without you."
"That's why we're a team, right?" she stated rhetorically. Kira gave me a slight smile but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cen'Zeya glare at her.
"What time is it?" I asked as I looked around for my com tablet.
"It's about midnight," Cen'Zeya stated, "you weren't asleep for very long and should probably get more rest."
"I'll leave you be," Kira said as she turned to go.
"Are you going to stay around?" I asked her.
She turned to look back at me with an interesting look, kind of like 'now I know that you know that I've been going somewhere every day'. "Yeah, I'll lie low here as the general requested."
I watched her leave and felt Cen'Zeya's hand touch my shoulder. My gaze shifted to her and I saw that she still looked angry. "Lie down," she urged with a push from her hand.
Stubbornly, I resisted for a moment, but then realized that getting up was probably a bad idea with a fresh dose of drugs running through my system.
"What did you say to my sister that made her run out of here crying?"
After laying back down and rolling onto my side, seemingly the only comfortable place to lie on, I explained the conversation to Cen'Zeya. I tried to make it sound equitable, but I could tell from her expression that she was not on my side. "She wanted me to talk to her," I finally added.
"You're an idiot," she sighed.
"Get out," I mumbled, closing my eyes and trying to ignore that she was there.
After a moment I felt her weight settle on the bed next to me. She wasn't doing what I asked. "How were you raised in a political household and not have absorbed an ounce of diplomacy?" she wondered, but I continued to ignore her. "Are you feeling any better?" she asked. "Did the pain ease?"
I tried to shift further away from her, turning my head into my pillow. It made me sad and angry that we were even having this conversation because it reminded me that the simple times we had together before were gone. There felt like no point in talking through anything. She wasn't the pleasant, available person that she was a few weeks ago. In that amenable girl's place now sat someone with a strong will and independent purposes. Instead of fun, it felt like we were conducting a high-level negotiation with the fate of worlds on the line. Somewhere in the last two weeks, I had lost control of things, and I didn't like it.
"Come on, don't be an ass," she sighed, but I still refused to answer. "I'm on your side, you know."
"On my side?" I asked in surprise, unable to let that comment go.
"Do you think I like sitting here trying to get you to talk to me?"
That didn't sound like someone on my side. "Then go away as I asked."
"I can't do that," she whispered. "You're pulling away from us. If I let you, then eventually you will conclude that we aren't necessary and drop us off somewhere. That won't be good for me, and it will break Bzy's heart."
I opened my eyes and looked at her, noticing a softer demeanor. "How is that admission evidence that you are on my side? It feels like all you've done is fight with me for the past week."
"I know what you want, and I'm trying to get it for you."
"It feels like the exact opposite."
"Because you're not planning ahead. You're too busy reacting in the moment to see what's coming."
"You don't know me," I grumbled, "or what I want."
"Of course, I do," she replied sharply, "the brothel was full of men like you. Do you think you're unique or something?"
"I've had enough . . ." I began to object.
She leaned close and put a gentle hand on my cheek, brushing my hair out of my eyes so that I could see her. "You want simple, uncomplicated pleasure. Someplace where you can go have fun and get away from the worries of life. You latched onto me and my sister because we gave you that amidst all the changes and challenges you were facing becoming a Jedi. Am I right?"
She nailed it. I didn't even have to answer because I could tell in her eyes that she knew. "Well, that's gone now," I grumbled.
"If you let me help you, we can get back to that place."
"How?" I asked skeptically.
"When Bzy loses her feelings for you, all of this confusion will clear up and things can go back to the way they were."
"No, it can't," I mumbled. Her gaze shifted questioningly with a slight raise of her eyebrows. "I know all this now. I know that Bzy is a person with feelings, know that you are deep and cunning, and know that there is a lot more going on than simply having fun."
"I can't imagine that it will bother you for long," she replied frankly.
"Wow, that was harsh. Don't you care about my feelings?"
She laughed. "Right, like that's what we need to worry about."
"Hey," I complained, "that was downright cold." We sat quietly for a moment, and I wondered where that acrimony was coming from. "Don't you have feelings, Cenny?"
I asked the wrong question. Her countenance shifted and she stared at me with distant eyes. "No," was all she said.
"You care about your sister," I commented after a pause.
"I have to," she breathed out before getting up and walking toward the door. I thought she was going to leave, but she halted and then turned to walk back to me. "Stop asking questions you don't want the answers to," she said sharply, "and stop making things more complicated. I don't open up to people, certainly not about things with meaning. If anything, I'm more selfish and callous than you are. That's how I read you like a book." She took a step closer to me, a storm of emotions churning in her dark eyes. "All this talk about feelings is just as uncomfortable, if not more so, for me. I'm certainly not happy about it, but someone's gotta keep us from wrecking things, and you and Bzy are too heedless to care."
I didn't know what to say. The only thing my mind could wonder was how this person was the same as the one who playfully bedded me so many times over the past few months. It seemed impossible. "I'm not a bad person," I felt myself replying defensively.
"I don't know who you are," she responded coolly. "We've spent months together and even been intimate, and I don't know what to expect. But I know men in general, and their track record isn't good."
"I wouldn't hurt you," I objected.
"Don't lie," she whispered with a strange grin, taking another step closer. "That look of confusion in your eyes tells me all I need to know. Everyone says they don't want to hurt people until the circumstances change. When it's to your advantage, you'll find the excuse you need."
"Damn, Cenny, that's some dark stuff," I replied. Deep down I knew she was right because that's how I'd seen people act. It's how my father lived; how I lived. The 'complexity' rabbit hole my life fell into just turned into a massive cavern. "You know . . . fine, you win. I admit that I'm out of my league here. I don't know what to do about your sister, Kira's allegations, Master Din's report, or a whole host of other things. Do you have any answers?"
She walked right up to the bed and bent over to look me deep in the eyes. If anything, her gaze looked even more dangerous. "I don't trust you," she whispered, her breath warm against my lips, "but I want to." Her lips touched mine, soft and sensuous. My mind roiled with confusion but my body responded strongly, and I reached up to hold her as my lips parted to taste her. Our kiss turned passionate and my body grew hungry, but when I tried to pull her onto me she resisted. "I thought you were abstaining?" she muttered.
"To hell with that," I protested.
She persisted, putting a hand on my chest and pushing away from me. I struggled with her for a moment before she said, "we can't, not now."
"You kissed me," I protested.
"To seal our pact," she grinned, "not to start something."
"Oh, you started something . . ."
She wiggled out of my grasp and stood up, noticing the frustration in my eyes. "I'll send Bzy," she whispered while turning away.
"What if I want you?" I whispered back.
"Careful, Jedi," she chided. "Remember our pact."
Pact! my mind fumed, we made no pact. I slumped back in bed and found the water bottle B'Zeya held earlier, guzzling the rest of the water before throwing it in the direction of the bin in frustration. The drugs had taken the pain down to a dull ache and while I lay there trying not to think, exhaustion crept in. The past few days of conflict and Force use must have worn on me. B'Zeya never came, and the struggle between hunger and sleep tugged at my mind until asleep won.
I woke up slowly, feeling more refreshed, and as I shifted to test my injuries my arm bumped a body, and I realized that I wasn't alone. B'Zeya was lying in bed next to me. Rolling to my elbow, I looked down as her eyes fluttered open.
"Hi," she smiled. "Cenny asked me to come and check on you, but you were asleep." I continued looking down at her, realizing how nice her green eyes looked in the dim sleep-lights, and how intricate the plum-colored mottling of dots was on her lekku. B'Zeya seemed to grow nervous about my gaze, "I hope you're feeling better," she added hesitantly.
Overcome by the desire that had been building within me, I leaned down and kissed her on the lips. She was reluctant at first but then returned my kisses, and soon we grew passionate. My hand pulled the covers off her so that I could touch skin, revealing her lithe frame covered in a plain yellow nightshirt.
She suddenly broke our kiss. "I'm sorry about earlier," she sighed. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset."
"It's okay," I soothed, hoping to get back to kissing. We did some more, and when my hand stroked her lekku to her waist, she shivered against me.
"I shouldn't kiss you," she whispered. Her tone made me look into her face, and I saw a little bit of mirth dance across her features. "I'm corrupting you," she added.
"Don't," I grumbled, shaking my arm wrapped under her frame.
"Sorry," she replied, not sounding so sorry. "We can't 'play' anyway because of your injuries."
"Who says?" I countered, leaning over to kiss her cheek. It had been too long, and my body's desire was taking over.
"Jaren," she complained, "I'm supposed to be taking care of you."
"You can take great care of me," I added as my mouth bit her shoulder and my hands explored.
"Stop!" she wiggled. "Cenny's taking her nursing duties seriously. If I mess up your wounds, she'll kill me."
"What's gotten into her, anyway? She's been kinda bossy with me."
B'Zeya seemed to stiffen up at the question and laid back down next to me. "It's just her way of dealing with things."
"Well, it's annoying."
"Don't be mad at her," B'Zeya urged. "She gets that way . . ." Her voice trailed off uneasily.
"What?"
"It's nothing," she sighed.
I was going to protest, but then let it go; more interested in kissing than talking. We had just gotten back into the mood when the com chimed.
"We've got a holo-call from Master Din and General Var Suthra," Kira's voice echoed through my room. "Can the patient get out of bed?"
I sat sulking in the conference room chair while General Var Suthra went over the details of our battle with Agent Galen and the issues with the Nar Shaddaa authorities. We took the holo-call in the conference room instead of the main holo-room because I could sit down and also for privacy, but I couldn't stop thinking about B'Zeya and our interrupted interlude. General Var Suthra wanted to stop Lord Sadic and retrieve the Power Guard project technology, but he had to clear our actions through diplomatic channels and told us to lay low for a few days longer. In the meantime, Agent Diyaz was working to infiltrate the Excelsis Corporation's main complex in Shadow Town to locate Lord Sadic and determine if they were moving the operation. Master Orgus Din asked Kira and me to stay on the call when the general concluded his points.
"How are your wounds healing?" Master Din asked me after the general's image faded from the holo.
"I'm fine, the burns were the worst injuries, and thanks to bacta gel, they're mostly healed."
"Good," Master Din nodded. "The council is reviewing Kira's report on the Power Guards. It's quite concerning that the Empire has managed to produce soldiers with the reflexes and acumen of a Jedi. An army of such soldiers would cause real problems."
"Even a couple were a problem already," Kira muttered.
"As a result, the council has elevated the protection of the remaining Republic technologies. They are sending me to Alderaan and Master Kiwiik's to Tatooine to protect the projects there. Hostilities are beginning to heat up between the Empire and Republic, which is concerning. The conflict on Balmorra has been escalated by the Empire. They landed a whole division in the City of Sobrik and are trying to gain control of the whole planet. Conflict is increasing on Taris and Alderaan too. It's a clear sign that the Empire is moving to end the Treaty of Coruscant."
"That's bad news," I said, giving Kira a sobering look. "It doesn't feel like the Republic is ready for war again."
"I don't know if anyone is ready for war, but I agree with your sentiment. Things are pretty chaotic on Coruscant right now. I sense a lot of fear and panic."
"Are we just going to wait for them to attack us again?" I grumbled.
"Unfortunately, that is the opinion of the government right now. They do not want to make a move which breaks the treaty."
"The Imps don't care about the treaty," I complained, "giving them the advantage of first strike. The senate must see how dangerous this position is; we're exposed to any attack they wish to launch at us."
"The Senate wants to uphold the treaty and act honorably, despite what our enemy does. You cannot win a war by stooping to the lows of your enemy or you will become the thing you fight. Speaking of acting rashly, there have been some comments about your actions on Nar Shaddaa . . ." While he was talking, I looked at Kira with a flash of anger. "Don't look at your padawan; the comments did not come from her. Jedi Dwar," Master Din continued with a sigh, "you are headstrong and confident, which are good qualities in moderation, but you are also impulsive and can let your ego affect your thinking." I opened my mouth to rebut his words, only pausing when my mind caught up and realized that I was about to display the very thing he was saying.
"A Jedi is calm and exhibits patience," Master Din stated in his teacher's voice. "A Jedi does not act aggressively, but only uses the Force in defense. Most importantly, a Jedi must control their emotions and not be impulsive. We are to act only through the Force, not by the urging of our feelings. Do you understand what I am saying?"
I fought to hold back my reaction, knowing it would sound defensive and angry. My eyes glanced at Kira again who was looking at me with a blank face. People were talking bad about me, questioning my behavior, and I could not stop the feelings of embarrassment and suspicion that knowledge caused. "I understand," was my answer, spoken with as level a voice that I could muster. I did understand what he was saying, but I didn't like it and was uncertain that I agreed with it all.
"I'm proud of you, my padawan," he added in a gentler tone, seeming to sense my frustration. "You have become a capable Jedi in a very short time, but this is a dangerous time for you. With the abilities you've mastered, you have become powerful, and that power is enticing. Emotion and ego are influences that can lead you to the dark side. I'm not trying to correct or criticize you by bringing this up but to challenge you. The walk of a Jedi is a journey with no end, and that journey has obstacles that block your progress or confuse your way. Controlling your emotions is one such obstacle. If you master it, you will become a great Jedi indeed."
"Thank you, master," I answered.
"There is a reason that the Jedi Order pairs a Jedi with a padawan which goes beyond training. Two are stronger than one, and in accountability, a teacher can learn from his padawan. Kira has a different perspective than you and can see things in a way that you might not. To clear the obstacles in your way, I sense that your bond with her will become indispensable."
I nodded, not having a response to his words.
"During your training together, I would like you to ask Kira about her perspective on your emotions and attachments. You can put those reflections in the report you are working on for me. Kira," Master Din shifted to look at my padawan, "it is on you as well to develop a rapport with your master. The bond will temper and develop you both. Master Kiwiiks and I still believe in the pairing of you two. Your differences will end up becoming your strength, but it will take effort to overcome the discord between you."
Master Din paused, seeming to expect a reply. "We will try to work together," I nodded toward his holo-image. Kira remained silent.
"I don't know the next time I will be able to talk with you since I am heading to Alderaan shortly. We'll try to connect in a few weeks."
The com went dark, and I sat in stunned frustration for a moment. I couldn't help thinking that things had just gone from bad to almost impossible.
"Well, that was awkward," Kira sighed next to me.
"Damn," I huffed, "what did you put in your report?" My emotions got the better of me as I turned to look at her.
"Hey," she countered with a raised hand, "it wasn't me this time . . . Master Din said so."
"You started all this with your complaining to Master Kiwiiks," I accused.
"You started it with your damn ego," she countered.
I looked away, feeling the tension rise up the back of my neck. We had worked well together the last few days, and it seemed like we could actually get along. Not anymore; that good feeling was gone. "You're supposed to be trying to develop a better rapport with me."
"You first," she spat. "Respect is earned, not demanded."
I could not stop myself from turning back on her with flared eyes. She could say just the right things to make me go off. "I don't want your respect," I shot back. "You're judgementalism makes me sick."
"Great attitude, Jedi. Did you hear a word your master just said to you?"
"Working with you is impossible!" I shouted sharply.
She rose quickly to her feet and headed toward the door. "Remember to put that in your report about subduing your ego," she snipped as the door swished open and she left.
My fists clenched tightly and I felt the urge to pound the conference table. I did feel more emotional the past few weeks, and it was hard to pinpoint why. The confusion with the twins, the failings in our current mission, and the run-in with the Sith woman were all good candidates for a source of my ire, but in the end, Master Din's assessment was correct. I was growing more impulsive and irritable, and people were starting to notice. Pushing roughly up from the table, I stomped to my room to wear myself out with the afternoon exercise routine.