"Mommy, where daddy," Melody asked me when a little girl passed by where we were picnicking together on the hospital's open grassy fields with her parents.

"Baby, remember how mommy told you daddy lives with his mommy and daddy, so we don't always get to see him," I reminded her.

This wasn't the first time Melody had asked me about her dad since she's been in the hospital. She's been asking more about him than ever. I didn't want to lie to her, and I wasn't sure how to tell her why neither of her dads was with her. I felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. And I didn't know what the right choice was.

Melody puckered her lips and asked in a sad voice, "where, Tway?"

Trey hadn't come by since before Melody woke from her surgery almost two weeks ago. Last week I got a message from him, and I haven't heard from him since. I've tried calling him, but all the calls always went to voicemail. Eventually, I just decided to give up and give him his space. We could figure out the rest when he came back-if he came back.

"Sorry baby, I wish I could tell you where Trey is." I sat Melody onto my lap for a hug. She probably needs one at this point as much as I did.

I thought back to the message Trey sent me last week:

Sorry Gabby I really want us to work, but I need more time

Anger and sadness boiled in me when I thought of how Trey had just left. If this was how he was planning to handle his fears, I wasn't sure how we could make things work. We were going to have a long talk about this, I thought.

"Aw, Gawwy," I heard Truett's sweet little voice call out, "Melwy."

I looked up to see Javier and Rowan hovering over us with Truett. Javier placed a hand on my shoulder, "everything OK."

I shrugged with a sigh. "I've been worse, I guess," I knew I sounded as pathetic as I felt—maybe more.

They both took a seat on either side of me and sent Truett off to play. Melody crawled off of me after Truett.

"Want to talk about it," Rowan asked.

I blew out a breath, knowing I couldn't hide it forever, especially from Javier. Fishing for my phone from my pocket, I handed Javier my phone. He took a second to read the last text from Trey before giving it to Rowan with a frown.

Rowan's concerned expression turned to a frown, "I swear your fiance is bipolar," she commented, handing me my phone back.

Javier and I couldn't hold back our chuckles. Javier's voice was soft with concern when he stopped chuckling, "are you OK?"

I looked over at my little girl and saw her crawling around the grass with Truett. They were both laughing without a care in the world.

"Yeah," I breathed out with a nod, "I'm good. I'm not hurting so much as I'm sad and angry at Trey for abandoning Melody. And myself for trusting him when clearly I should have known better."

"You were only trying to do what you thought was best for Melody and you," Javier replied, "you couldn't have known he would just leave."

Rowan attempted to look on the bright side, "Plus, he has reason to come back, and when he does, you can give him a piece of your mind."

We turned when we heard Bridgette's threat, "but if that bipolar boy wants to live longer, he will stay away."

We all chuckled as we made room on the blanket for Antonio and Bridgette. They took a seat on either side of me.

"Have you put any more thought into talking to Troy again?"

"It might not be such a bad idea for Melody to know who her dad is," Javier added.

"She knows who her dad is," I replied, "He's not a secret. When she asks about him, I talk to her about him. And when we watch games on T.V., she can sometimes point him out. Not as often as she would Miguel and Dad, but it's not like she's completely oblivious."

Bridgette and Rowan looked pretty satisfied and convinced that Melody did know Troy. But Javier and Antonio were another story. Not that I was surprised. Family always meant everything to them, and the relationship between the family members was just as crucial.

Antonio was staring at Melody, "that all sounds great, but at the end of the day, Troy is nothing more than some basketball player from the stories you tell her. Is that enough?"

My expression fell as I watched my little girl. Antonio's question was one I've been asking myself countless times for the last three years. I loved that Melody was asking questions about Troy. But part of me always wondered if stories and games on T.V. were enough. At first, it did feel like perhaps it was enough, but lately, I'm not sure it was.

Even if there was still a part of me saying it was.

I sighed with a shrug, "I don't know; I'll let you know which side wins when that part of my internal war finally ends."

Javier had a frown on his face when he spoke, "I was not much younger than Melody the last time I saw her. He passed away less than a year later."

I knew the he and her that Javier was referring to. They weren't people that Javier mentioned a lot. I've only ever heard him mention them a handful of times growing up.

My brows narrowed him, "do you miss them?"

"I don't know them well enough to miss them," He replied honestly, "what very little I know about them are all from stories I've heard. I have no memories of them, not like with our family. Not that there's anything wrong with having a relationship with our family and not them. But sometimes I do wish I do have some memories, just so I'd know who they were and where I come from, if nothing else."

I turned to Melody and saw her rolling in the grass with Truett. Both of them giggled as they rolled around.

Am I doing what's best for Melody or me?

"I already dangled a potential father in front of her once; that is clearly not working out so well. How do I know the same thing won't happen if Troy knew? Or that she won't be treated differently," I sighed, lying on the blanket. I continued when I regained control of my voice, "I want what's best for my baby girl, but I can't seem to figure out what that is."

Javier, Antonio, Rowan, and Bridgette lay down beside me, "Gabby, you're being way too hard on yourself."

"No parent is perfect, but Melody is a happy and well-adjusted two-and-half-year-old," Rowan added, "and she's feeling secure enough to ask you the tough questions. That's saying a lot about you as a parent. Lighten up and have a little faith in yourself-we do. You're not doing so bad."

I knew they were telling the truth. I only wish I had as much faith in myself as they did.

"What do you think is best for Melody regarding her dad?" Antonio asked.

I stared at the clouds as I listened to my little girl's laughter. I shut my eye, thinking for a brief second. "I want Melody to always have male role models in her life, whether she has a dad around or not. Kind of like a father figure. I want Melody to be able to make her judgments and decisions about Troy."

"That sounds pretty good to me," Javier replied, "why not go with that?"

I thought back to Zeke seeing my dad in the surgical waiting room. He couldn't manage a simple greeting. If he knew the truth, would he still be my friend? Or would things be different?

I shook the thought from my head, "I don't want Melody to feel like she's different or question who her friends are. I want her to have a normal childhood or as normal as possible."

"You don't think that she can if your friends knew?"

I sat back up and dropped my head, "I'm not sure. But I know the possibility is there if my friends can't say a simple hi to our dad. Or they might see us differently. I just want to know that everything won't change like before if my friends knew."

"We can't tell you that everything will be OK," Bridgette replied, "but we can tell you that your true friends will stick around if they know."

I appreciated Bridgette for trying, but her words didn't make me feel any better. The whole friend's speech was one I'd heard numerous times growing up.

"Gabby, no one will know how your friends react if you tell them," Rowan decided to try, "but what we can tell you is that you won't have to keep hiding from them."

"And Melody gets to know Troy even if he decides he doesn't want to be a part of her life," Antonio added.

"Plus, whatever happens, it's their choice, just like it should be, and you won't be living in guilt anymore," Bridgette pointed out.

"But whether or not it's all worth it is something only you can decide," Javier finished before he pulled me into a much-needed hug.

Bridgette, Antonio, and Rowan joined in, too, for a five-way hug. We didn't do this kind of stuff nearly enough anymore. I soaked in every second until we heard Truett's tiny voice.

"Hug," Truett's tiny voice cried out.

Melody reached out with a giggle, "me too. Me too."

"Awe, how can we forget you two love bugs," Rowan cooed, picking them up.

We squeezed tight in a group hug until Bridgette's pager went off. As she was checking it, Antonio's pager sounded just before Javier's. We knew from the frown on their faces it couldn't be good.

Rowan slipped her free hand into Javier's, "baby, what is it?"

Javier didn't take his eyes off the pager, "Code Silver."

Rowan and I stared at each other in confusion, not seeing the urgency.

"What's a code silver?"

"It means the hospital is going into lockdown because of a combated person with a weapon," Antonio explained in a rush. "We need to get everyone back inside now."

We quickly gathered the picnic and rushed back inside. Rowan had Truett in her hand, and I had Melody in mine. Everyone was running in all directions as the PA continuously announced Code Silver. It was a madhouse.

Javier slipped his hands into Rowan and mine. "we need to stay together," he warned.

"Can't we just leave the hospital?" I shouted over the PA system.

Antonio turned around, "security won't let anyone in or out."

I clung on tight to Melody and tightened my grip on Javier. This was Javier, Bridgette, and Antonio's territory; we just had to trust they knew what to do.

"So what do we do now?" Rowan cried as someone cut through our chain.

Before we could do anything, Rowan was swept into the moving crowd. We called after her as she called after us.

"I got them," Antonio ran back the way we came toward the crowd. He called back, "Get to safety."

Fences and gates were starting to come down in the hallways when Bridgette stopped us. She opened the door to an empty room and ushered us in.

"Turn all cell phones and other electronics to silent," She pulled the curtains closed as she messed with her phone.

I could see the worry on Javier's pale face. "Tony won't let anything happen to Rosie or True. They'll be OK," I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

He mustered a small smile, "You're right. We should get comfortable; it could be a while."

Bridgette peeked back out into the halls and whispered. "Come on, honey."

She bounced from one foot to the other, looking even more nervous than Javier. "Bridge, we must stay low and away from all windows, remember," Javier reminded her.

Bridgette stared at the door for half a second before throwing it open, "stay here; I'll be back."

She raced out the door before we could stop her. Time seemed to stop until we heard a knock at the door. I placed a hand on the door handle, ready to turn it, before Javier stopped me. He placed a finger to his lips and shook his head.

Javier gripped the door handle as if he was waiting for something. I let the handle go and stepped back. Javier motioned toward Melody, and I picked her up. My heart pounded against my chest as I held her close.

Another knock came. This time it was different. The knock had a rhythm to it.

Javier immediately opened the door, and Antonio, Bridgette, and Rowan slipped in with Truett tightly in her grip. I throw my arms around them, grateful they are OK, as Javier locks the door behind them. Relief washed over Javier's face as he pulled Rowan into his arms.

The PA announcement continued as more people could be heard running by. I tried peeking into the halls through the tiny window, but there wasn't much to see besides people panicking.

Antonio covered the windows to the halls, "stay away from all windows. We should be safe here as long as we follow the code rules."

Knock Knock Knock

We all turned to each other. Antonio put a finger to his lips, reminding us to be quiet. We nodded, tiptoeing away from the door.

Knock Knock Knock

We stared at the door, waiting for whoever it was to leave.

"Gabby, can we talk," It took me a moment to place to voice to Jason.

But what was he doing here? I turned to my siblings and silently pleaded with a puppy dog pout. They gave in and nodded.

Jason quickly slipped in when Antonio opened the door. Antonio promptly locked the door again behind him as he greeted us. The PA announcement started to dwindle, and we could barely hear anyone in the halls. The hospital must be on complete lockdown now, and no one could go anywhere until we got the all-clear.

"What are you doing here," I asked, giving him a hug.

He hugged me back, "I was just heading up to the pediatric ward to visit C.J. when I saw you and your friends racing into this room. When the security guard told me to find the nearest room to hide, I figured I could find you, and we could talk first instead of visiting C.J."

Jason turned to Melody and Truett and pulled out a toy from the bag in his hands. "Hi, you two cuties must be Melody and Truett. I'm Jason, and I have some toys here just for you."

"That was really nice of you; we really appreciate the thought," I thanked him before prompting Melody and Truett of their manners. "Guys, what do we say to Uncle Jason?"

Melody looked up from the new doll in her hands. "Tank you," she blew him a kiss before hugging him. Truett was right behind her for a thank-you hug with his new sketch pad.

Jason hugged them back before leaving them to play with the new toys. As soon as the kids toddled off, Jason asked to talk. I hesitantly agreed and led him toward the couch. Antonio, Bridgette, Rowan, and Javier gladly entertained the kids as we talked.

"So, were you the planner friend Zeke mentioned," Jason asked as we sat on the couch.

I nodded, "yeah, and I understand if you want nothing to do with me. Teagan or someone else from the company could help you plan your wedding."

We quietly watched Melody and Truett play with their new toys. I tore my attention away from the kids and noticed the uncertain look on Jason's face. He had something on his mind. Something big.

"Gabby, are we friends," Jason asked.

I raised my brow, confused by his words as I tried to figure him out. But I couldn't. "Course we are," I confirmed, "Why don't you think of us as friends?"

He had a perplexed look on his face, "I thought we were," He admitted, "now, I'm not so sure since you couldn't seem to trust any of us," his speech slowed to a pause. He continued, "unless we did something."

I shook my head, "none of you did anything. It was all me and something I felt I had to deal with."

"So we didn't do anything, and you just didn't trust us as your friends," I could see the confusion returning on Jason's face.

Guilt hit me square in the chest again. Jason was right; I should have trusted them, and I didn't. I had no excuse or explanation for my actions except for the truth. Staring at my family, I prayed I was making the right choice as I opened my mouth.

"You're right; I should've trusted you guys-all of you guys," I admitted, but what came out next made me want to slap myself. "I'm sorry I didn't."

I lost my nerve again.

Would I ever actually have the nerve to admit the truth?

Jason smiled, "apology accepted. So how have you been? Zeke told us you've been doing pretty well. Aside from raising Melody, you went back to college and now work at an event planning company. And you're in a new relationship with someone who loves you and Melody."

I nodded with a smile, "that pretty much sums up my life."

"So what's parenthood like," he asked.

I glanced over at Melody playing with her new doll before answering. Javier was trying to show her where the baby's belly button was, and every time he lifted the shirt, she giggled and hid like she was playing a peek-a-boo game.

I let out a relaxed breath before answering, "It's the best; Melody's my entire world. Being a parent is joyful and fun, yet tiring and scary, but it's very gratifying. I wouldn't trade being a parent for anything. What about you; how have you been?"

"I've been really great," He replied enthusiastically, "I love that I've been able to help more people since Zeke and I opened Wildcat Bar. Even if it's just to have people come by for a place to hang out or find a listening ear. Plus, the wedding prep is keeping Kelsie and me super busy. But I wouldn't trade my life for anything."

"Sounds like we're both doing pretty good," I nodded. "And we're happy where we are."

"Yeah," Jason agreed with a nod. "This is great; I really miss this."

I wasn't quite sure I followed. Zeke had mentioned before that my friends missed me more than they were angry, but I still never thought they'd miss me that much. After all, I did hurt them.

"You really missed me?"

Jason rubbed his chin as he considered the question. I thought for a second he was really thinking about it until I noticed the tiniest smile.

We both burst out laughing.

"Gottcha you," He said between laughs.

We finally stopped, and I folded my arms across my chest. "That was mean," I grumbled with a frown.

"Oh, I…I'm…." Jason stuttered, seeing how upset I was.

I dropped the act and chuckled, "Gottcha you back," I stated with a smile.

"Nicely played," Jason praised, slapping me five. "I never got to do stuff like this with the gang."

Curiosity built in my, "Like what?"

Jason shrugged and leaned back, "hanging out and doing nothing."

"Don't you hang out with the gang all the time?" I asked, still not really seeing the big deal.

Jason nodded, "yeah, but we're always talking about some sort of sports or Zeke's latest recipes. Shopping is the girls' territory, and Ryan and Sharpay have broadway musicals down."

"It sounds almost like you're back in high school in your own little gangs," I pointed out.

"It is," Jason confirmed and continued, "Only difference now is we're more comfortable dipping into each other's worlds."

I scratched my head, trying to figure out which group I was in. I wasn't a guy, nor did they see me participate in sports. They've only ever seen me in one school musical, and Sharpay and Ryan had to help me, so that crossed out Broadway Musicals, which left girls and shopping. But that didn't seem like me either.

Jason has always been more intelligent than we gave him credit for. He proved how observant he could be when he figured out what I was thinking. "You're our bridge. You fit in anywhere, and you somehow connect us. It's nice having a friend we can talk to and laugh with about anything."

I never thought of how much my friendship meant to anyone or that I had such a difference. Another round of guilt hit me square in the chest as it dawned on me just how much I'd hurt my friends.

"Do all our friends from East High feel the same way," I asked.

Thump Thump Thump

Our heads whipped toward the door. We held our breath as seconds ticked away. It felt like forever before whoever was knocking or, in this case, pounding at the door pounded again, growled, and shouted.

"Open up," The person snarled, "I know there's someone in there."

Melody whimpered as she shook in fear. Bridgette scooped her into her arms and rocked her as Rowan did the same with Truett. Javier noticed I wanted to head in their direction and motioned for me to stay put as he and Antonio got up. Putting my faith in my siblings, I sank back into the couch. They tiptoed toward the door with weapons in their hands.

Jason noticed and was right behind them with his own weapon. Antonio motioned for him to lay low and stay quiet as Jason approached them.

"Hey you," we heard the security guard call out, "the hallways should be cleared. Show me your ID."

Seconds later, we heard gunshots behind the door. "Stay away from all doors and hit the deck," Antonio whispered shouted.

Rowan, Bridgette, and I hit the deck where we were. Rowan and Bridgette shield the children wrapping them in their arms. As Javier beelined for me, Antonio and Jason made a beeline for the girls and kids.

"Lay low and try not to move," Javier advised, wrapping his arms around me in a shield. I knew we were giving Jason more wrong ideas.

Tightening my grip on Javier, "please tell me we're going to make it out of this in one piece."

"Don't focus on the gunshots," Javier whispered as he held me closer. "Close your eyes, just like when we were kids and you got scared."

I closed my eyes and leaned closer into Javier's chest. It was just like when I was little. Everything around me seemed to fade, and all I could hear was the beat of Javier's heart. My body relaxed and stopped shaking, and I sank into Javier's arms.

We all huddled close to the ground until we heard another announcement over the P.A.

Code Silver All Clear. I repeat Code Silver, all clear.

Picking ourselves up, we all let out a huge sigh of relief. We all had huge smiles on our faces like we'd just received the best news ever. Javier and I went to our family for a much-needed group hug.

It took me a second to realize that Jason was watching us celebrate. I moved over a little, "There's room for one more," I invited him into the hug.

Jason hesitated for a second before joining our hug. We could hear muffled sounds coming from the hallways when we finally broke apart.

Jason checked his phone for the first in the last three hours since we'd been in lockdown. "I better go. Kelsie is wondering where I am."

We headed into the hallway filled with everyone coming and going. Jason and I halted at the end of the hallway, and everyone else stopped when they realized we did, "we're this way," I pointed to the left.

Jason pointed in the other direction, "and this way is me."

We were both silent, waiting for the other to say something. "Well, see you around," Jason waved to Melody and Truett, "I'm glad I got to meet you, Melody. You, too, True. Maybe next time we'll have more time to play."

Melody and Truett waved to Jason, "buh."

I watched as Jason headed in the other direction. As he walked further away, I heard Sharpay's voice in my head.

Well, from where I'm standing, it looks like it's your turn to start amending your actions.

I handed Melody to Antonio and texted Jason a message.

Me: Thnks 4 ur friendship

"Jason," I called after him causing him to turn his head. Seeing me wave my cell phone, he smiled.

Jason: Anytime & thnks 4 urs

He winked at me before disappearing into the crowd. Jason was still my friend. It gave me hope that I had taken a step in the right direction today and was on my way to mending all my friendships.

"Ready to go," Javier asked me.

I took one last look in Jason's direction. "Yeah," I replied, leaning into Javier's shoulders, "let's go."