"W-where am I?"

The world is bleak and vaguely smells of burnt chicken. A constant drone permeates the entire place. I look around, hand on my pulsating forehead, and get up with a low groan.

"BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

Huh? What was that?

"BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

"What the fuck is this noise?"

Suddenly, a window pops up the upper-right corner of my vision. On it, some strange machine with all sorts of buttons and a big compartment on the bottom is illustrated.

"DING!"

Blurry words appear under the image. I squint and barely make them out.

"Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzzzzz. Hhhhhhhhh. DING!"

"What the hell?"

LEVEL UP!

BZZZZ: BZ

BZZZZZ: BZ BZ BZZZZ

DING: Fried Chicken

I cackle madly. I have finally attained my lifelong dream. I have become the airfryer gamer.

"DING!" I yell loudly, "BZZZZZZ!!"

The world fades to black.

I woke up, my head pounding, with a soft "Ding!" echoing through it. The pungent stink of old mould attacked my nose with unrivalled viciousness. I looked around through half-lidded eyes as I propped myself up on my forearms. The sight that greeted me wasn't of my old home – on the contrary, it was of an unfamiliar apartment, each visible inch of it covered in a thick carpet of dust. Confused and dazed, I swung my feet over the creaky cot I awakened in and set them on the bleak, squeaky faux-wooden flooring, making it squeak softly. As I stumbled through the tiny, dingy flat, stubbing my toes more than once on various rotting surfaces, cussing at the world all the while, I found a semi-cracked dirty mirror mounted precariously on one rusty nail. Taking great care not to cause the mirror to fall and, God forbid the thought, completely shatter, I wiped the dust and grime off of its surface and stared at the unfamiliar face looking back at me with confused fear in its eyes. Eyes of different colours. Of meadow green and sunset orange.

It wasn't my nose, weren't my ears, wasn't my mouth, wasn't the vaguely oriental slant of my eyes, wasn't the questioning rise of my eyebrows and this certainly wasn't my even fence of slightly-too-feral teeth. They all belonged to another, unknown person.

"Did I get isekai'd to a different damn body?.." I mumbled to myself, searching for passing familiarities in the impossibility of the reflection, "Can't be…"

Suddenly, loud buzzing reverberated in my ears, bringing me to my knees with shock and pain. My vision flashed red and my consciousness filled with images of a life I hadn't lived. Golden-bodied gods, monstrosities dwarfing the tallest skyscrapers, tortured humans given powers to rival the legends of old, constant warring, endless feat and an eternal preparation to withstand another inevitable catastrophe. My body seized up in agony, mind teetering on the brink of insanity, memories and blinding pain pushing-pulling-catching-releasing-drowning-saving-dooming it to insanity for what felt like eons. I let out a drawn-out, frenzied scream.

And – as suddenly as it begun – it ended. It ended like the morning started - with a soft "Ding!"

I got up, new memories harshly burrowing into my burning mind. The buzzing, the sizzling, the bell-like dings retreated to the edge of my awareness. I looked at my hands, feeling a strange well of power deep within myself.

Rank: Knockoff Alibaba Air Fryer

Abilities: Weak Fry, Deafening Ding.

"The hell? I'm definitely insane," I muttered, "The fuck's this screen?"

Indeed, the text had appeared on a green screen in my peripheral vision. I felt horror overtaking me.

"No…" Air Fryer… was this hell? Did I go to the fiery pits of Satan for airfrying my poor goldfish and jacking off to the sight? "Oh GOD PLEASE NO!"

I cried pitifully, fat tears of shame and fear running down my face. "Please, make this end!" I screamed, "Ding! BZZZZ!"

The smell of chemken permeated the air and I passed out, once again.

But not before a swarm of cockroaches and ants flooded the apartment from every corner.