I don't own Doctor Who

Peri was one of my favroute companions. For me she felt like the original Rose. Like Rose in Doomsday she forcibly taken away from the Doctor. While I know Big Finnish has had them reunite I wanted my try with one of the more new era Doctors.

Doctor Who Unbound - Paradox Passions

Had been thirty years? Peri thought? Thirty years since she had seen the man called the Doctor?

The man who sept her away into time and space during her Step father's vacation? Who took her to fight off Cybermen? To fend off the Daleks? To ruin the many schemes of the Master and the Rani?

Who nearly strangled her?

Who died for her?

Peri didn't know why she was here. Since the time lock was impounded around Thordon. As well she guessed was a "Good will" gesture she scoffed. the Timelords rather one Timelord calling himself Braxiatel (He reminded her of the Doctor for some reason. She just couldn't place it.) and a special squadron of Timelords known as the Celestial Intervention Agency were able to swap her mid back to her own body after Kiv's failed attempt to obtain her body.

Unfortunately due the circumstances of the trial and this Valeyard's extensive intervention in the planet's destined course. The planet was to be forever time locked. She included in the lock.

She would never be allowed to leave.

She would never see her college friends again

She would never see her mother again.

She would never see the Doctor again.

Some how the last part she found the hardest. She shouldn't her mother should have been the main reason for her lamented desertedness. Yet she still found herself missing the Doctor more. Why? She shouldn't. He was the reason she was in this mess. She wasn't even meant to be his companion. She only got the job because Turlogh saved her.

So why after thirty years did she find herself still yearning to have one more word with him? One more chance to talk to him. To have a last shot to go back to him?

She was selfish. Despite her exiled predicament. She had made a life for herself. She married

Yrcanos. She even grew to love him. Yeah the man was a real life Klingon but deep down there was a very good man with a even bigger heart. She had children, even expecting grandchildren soon. As Queen of Thordon she was able to use her knowledge and teachings from earth to help the planet progress for the better. Allowing their might makes right idealism to dimmer down a bit and make room for compassion and learning.

So why had she come to the planets glimmered ambered beach shores in the dead of night? Outside the caslte? Only wearing her nightgown?

For thirty years she thought her memories of the Doctor had simmered down. That part of her life was truly over. To be forgotten. A closing to the blue police box.

She would have continued to think so until her son Prince Corynus at a dinner party had gained wind of events taking place outside the lock. Her beloved son claimed to have heard whispers the Timelord and the Daleks had in fact gone to War! The Time War they were calling it.

Thordon would be save from the their war ironically due to the Time Lock. Even the passing centuries wouldn't affect their plants current passing of time. Her husband and son were to say disappointed not to have chance to fight in this new great war. Actually she remembered the warrior king slammed his table upside down in fury.

Unlike her kin Peri was relived such a war had not reached her new home. Her personal experience with the Daleks was enough to tell her being left behind was a more than a good thing. Those creatures only understood destruction and plagued it wherever they went. While she wasn't a fan of the Timelords even she found herself hoping for their victory if not their survival.

What got her attention was what her son stated next. Recounting his mothers old tales about her life before marrying his farther. He announced a man with a ragged white beard had and worn torn leather jacket with a silver armed sash. Single handily fought in every single battle within the war. Leading the charges, blasting one Dalek after another.

A man with a blue box.

Peri's stomach fell over from that admission. Her son couldn't have been talking about the Doctor her Doctor. She should have guessed her friend would have regenerated but to be warrior? To become a Warrior? Even Regeneration couldn't have changed him so much.

Could it?

When she turned to bed that evening. Her minds about the Doctor. This new incarnation. Still plagued her mind. This Time War and her own Doctor fighting the battle. The cascade of blood and destruction. Begging each day for no more.

"Peri."

She heard a man call out her name. Forcing her to awaken from her deep slumber. Shooting her up like a blasting rocket.

The voice was strange to her bit she could recognize it.

"Doctor."

He was calling out for her. He wanted to see her. After three decades and god knows how many regenerations he found a way to make contact with her.

So here she was. A Grandmother in the making, with slight silver lined hairs on her long brown hair. Wearing a blue nightgown with her bare feet. Waiting, listening. Hoping her intuition was right. The Doctor wanted to see her. Her Peri Brown of all people.

"Peri."

The Warrior queen finally turned around to see him. To see her Doctor. A now developed stranger she would always know and welcome.

Standing in front of her. A ghostly see troughed man. Standing over six feet tall, a man in his early forties. Sobering sad blue eyes, strong cheekbones, a small beauty mark on his right cheek, and dark brown hair, which he wore close-cropped. Sporting large ears and a large nose A smooth Adams apple in his throat. His main attire a stripped-down and rugged clothing. The main staple of his outfit was a battered black double breasted leather peacoat, a purple v neck shirt and black leather trousers and a pair of dark strapped shoes.

He looked nothing like her Doctors. Not like her noble number six or her gentle number five. No cricket outfit or the clown tent coat he once bore. Even the Second Doctor wore an outfit which was decorated with a more welcoming feeling.

This black leather look. It was so not the Doctor. Something that made him stand in but not stand out. Cloths someone who was closed off would wear.

Ignoring his drastic wardrobe change. Compared to what he used to wear in his sixth-life. Peri took time to see this new Doctor's face a bit more clearly. A weighted sadness was drawn on him. Guarded with a stoned faceguard. Using unfeelingness to hide the obvious pain he was under.

"What happened to him?" Peri asked herself.

"Doctor?" She called out to the ghost.

The Ninth Doctor raised his head higher to meet Peri's eyes. Being totally face to face without a barrier or obstacle stopping their view.

She could see him. Truly see this new regeneration. Someone who seemed scar. A flare which had fleeted away from him. Something within him had gone missing. The incredible explorer she often dreamed about seemed to have vanished from her friend.

A dark maturity now steadied its grey cloud on this incarnation. A Doctor Who didn't know who he was anymore.

"Hey Peri." The Queen couldn't help but shed a sad smile. Hearing his new northern Welsh like accent. He sounded so common compared to the previous Doctors she had met. He sounded like he was like everyone else for a moment.

Peri gave a second examination to the hologram's ghostly form. "You…you look like a ghost." Somehow her warrior queen persona seemed to be fading in front of the Doctor. The young nervous school student she once been found its way to re appear.

She wished her former life wouldn't. Not after everything which had passed between them. They both changed. This was a discussion for the people they were now not the people they wished they still could have one more chance to be.

"Hold on." The Doctor paused getting out a silver metallic wand like device. Pressing a upper button and stretching his arm to the right a blue glow emitted out of the device causing his holographic projection to become more solidified and real looking as if he was right there and then in person.

"New Sonic Lance?" Peri asked remembering the Sixth Doctor's faithful tool and sometimes wepon.

"No." The Doctor confessed gently "Haven't had old lancie since blond curls and carrot juice. After regenerating from him. Me number seven went back to good old screwdrivers." The Doctor grinned poking his sonic device on his head like a teenager.

"Oh." Peri nodded a bit dimly trying to figure out right course to continue her desired conversation in. "I reckoned you regenerated."

"A couple of times since we last met." The Doctor joked.

"Whatever happened to that coat you used to wear?"

"Oh." The ninth Doctor glumly answered "Well I think after regenerating into the prof. I decided the 80's were other. Kids were scared clowns might as well find a blackhole and."

"You still have it don't you?" Peri smirked out her friend.

"Yeah…..I still have it." The Doctor confessed with a grin. A new checked grin which worked well for this new face. "After all it won me first place in the Dulion galaxies knitting competition."

"Ah so that's where you got it." Peri coughed out with a laugh. Her face returned to a more sterned expression. "Doctor how….how are you here?" She finally got to her point. "Brax, the Timelord who placed the lock."

"Brax." The Doctor repeated. The dark coldness returning to him removing his lightened approach. "I should have talked to him more. He was a git but he was still my brother. Why couldn't I have talked to him more." The Doctor grimly processed.

"Doctor." Peri asked again now regretting mentioning the former Timelord as the mere mention of his name caused the Doctor to sink down in his mood.

The Doctor shook his head and returned to the conversation. "Recently my 'people'." Saying the word with a gulp "And the Daleks crossed into a war. A war for existence Peri. Recently in the war a moment caused a mass reaction throughout existence. Including the time locks. Creating small plot holes within them. Not enough to breck em but enough for me to make contact. At least for five minutes."

"Oh god." Peri gasped putting her hand into her mouth. So that's how this meeting was possible. A bloody war. This Time War she heard echoes about. This communication came from the blood of the Doctor's people.

Peri moved timidly towards him trying to touch the projection but the Doctor stopped her. "As we speak the Time Lock is starting to repair the golf holes chiselled in its construction. It won't be long before it returns to its original gridlocked status. I had the use most of the Tardis's external systems to keep the gap open for just those five minutes we have. Even touching this projection could throw the link off course."

Peri stayed her hand and nodded.

"So." The Doctor cheerfully clapped his hands "How has it been?"

"Doctor?" Peri questioned more sternly.

"Queen of a entire planet! Fantastic absolutory fantastic! Your step dad must really feel like an oink now for ditching you on that boat. He lost out on a planet!"

"Doctor." Peri repeated a tad more harsher.

"Frobisher would have been in paradise here. Snow, coldness a penguin's paradise."

"DOCTOR!" Peri snapped causing the oncoming storm to become silent.

Peri walked closer to her former friend. A surging anger coursing her face "For once SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK TO YOU!"

The newly Timelord surprised by his companions outburst returned to being silent.

Calming down Peri continued. "Doctor, thirty years I have wanted to talk to you. Thirty years I have dreamt what I wanted to tell you. You have had one regeneration after the other. A new companion now and then. I am at peace with that. Jamie and Turlogh. I knew you would move on but I never hated you for it. I never wanted you to be lonely. I accepted this world, my family, as my life for now and forever. Now after all this time you are going to give me something you have owed me a tone of lifetimes ago."

"And what is that." The Doctor silently muttered to her.

"What happened to you?" Peri tearfully quizzed.

The Doctor eased down mercifully. The tension's escaping his shoulders. "You don't have to know. You are better never knowing." "Never knowing what I turned into Peri."

"Bullshit." Peri yanked out. "Your Sixth-self would never hold something back. He was braver than you are now. He would fight on whatever problem he had! Now tell me what happened to you!" Peri cried.

The Doctor sighed. Placing his hands to his temples. Peri remembered his Sixth and second incarnations did a similar move back in Spain. This Contact ability. A special type of mind meld for Timelords.

The Doctor opened his sad eyes. His grief stricken troubled eyes tide into her lost pupils "Peri. I am sorry. I am so sorry for what you are going to see."

Before Peri could answer. The Doctor already screamed contact! In a flash. Peri saw everything. Everything this time war was. Thee Daleks, the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-have-been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. The children failing to run away from being exterminated. Ash and fire overwhelming Galifrey and her skis. Dalek ship plaguing the very fabrics of existence. The citadel crumbling brick by brick.

A man with a white beard blasting the words "No More!" Into a house's wall.

The mind meld finished. Peri. She tried not to gasp. She tried to hold her onto her lunch. Seeing those dreadful deaths. Those poor children. Cringing onto their mothers skirts. Not even regeneration would save them from their unfortunate fates.

Fresh blazing tears waterfalled her face.

"You poor thing." Peri sniffled.

"No I'm NOT! The Doctor cursed with a roar. "I did it Peri. I killed them. I failed them. I was given ninth chance to end the war. Instead I ended up failing the lot of them. I let him ruin everything. I should have thrown that cup away and died in my eighth life. I shouldn't have carried on."

The Doctor flung his arms in the open like a lunatic "What do I have to show for it Peri! I am the last! I have nothing left. When I die on my last life that is it for my people. Were gone! Dust! A fairytale! A myth the greatest civilization in infinity reduced to ash!" The latter of his speech being more calmed but still broken.

Peri didn't respond imitate to the Doctor's outburst. Not because of anger. On the country she now more than ever wanted to hug the lonely god but she knew a rule with the Doctor is that you must always be his equal. Be ready to head him on when needed.

Her weapon prepared she went into action.

"Doctor why did you want to see me."

"Because." The Doctor whispered. "Because I wanted to find a reason why I shouldn't miss them. Why I shouldn't grief for them. Why I can still be the Doctor regardless of the war. I mean what did they ever do for me. Exile! Death Threats! Companions' having their memory erased!" The Doctor seethed.

The Doctor sobered for his next words "Trials?"

"Oh Doctor." Peri gasped sadly.

"I wanted a reason why I shouldn't feel that pain. You waited thirty years to make peace with me and like the selfish coward I am I used you to fix my own crap. You of all people know I am not perfect. I got my problems deep inside and can't control them. I let them burn me all the time. My aching burdens. Praying one day they will be worth it. Which I am old enough to know is complete horse shit."

"Now. All I am is a broken man. I am a man who can't stop missing them. I'm not the Doctor I'm a deviant. Your compatriot so you need to look after me. You need to make me feel the sin is okay. That it isn't something I don't mind to have. To remind me I am just like every other selfish bastard in the universe." The Doctor confessed.

"I just want someone to say I am a bad person."

The wiling waves crashing into the beach's shores. A deafening silence clouding the two entities.

"I could never do that to you Doctor." Peri finalized.

The Doctor scoffed. "Come one Peri your talking to the man who tried to strangle you."

"And I am talking to the man who died for me." Peri defiantly shot back. "Doctor your not perfect. Who is but you will not have people turn their back on you and I for one will not do that to you."

Peri chuckled lightly "Doctor. I love you. I always loved you. This you. Five and six you. I love the Doctor. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. There was no way I ever wanted to leave you. Even when you went astray I never wanted to leave you." Peri chocked out.

"I love my family Doctor but once I did want a life with you. To hell with regenerations and life spans. I was willing to do it because I wanted to run right back to you at the of it all." Peri cried out softly. "I love you."

The Doctor remained silent. Trying to understand what she just confessed to him. She loved him? All this time and the crap he put her through. She really loved him. Guilt crusted his face. "Like Sarah Jane. Like Nyssa, Like Grace, Like Susan. They also loved me on that level and look how I failed them."

"Just promise me one thing." Peri begged. "Just one thing. Don't be alone. Don't let this anger and self-loathing control you. I know you are scared and you feel like a new first Doctor. You were put back onto level 1 but find a way to be the Doctor again. Find people who care about you. Who won't allow you to be lonely. People who make you smile." Peri prayed.

"Too right." The Doctor grinned once more albeit with a bittersweetness laced onto his mouth. He checked his watch. With one last gulp he made his move "Well. If this is the last time I'm going to say it. I might as well do it now."

Taking a deep breath the Doctor sang his last sonnet for Peri.

"Perpugilliam "Peri" Brown. I" But he didn't finish his sentence. Like a blink of an eye. He vanished like a ghost.

Peri froze. Fear, anger, grief, unsatisfaction, loss, fury, ache. All those emotions consumed her as she broke down crying onto the sand. He was gone again. She lost him again when he needed her. He needed her to be his Doctor. The man she loved needed her and she couldn't do anything for him for the hell he was walking now in.

She would never hear the final words to her. Another cursed mystery placed on them.

She would never know if she was right to tell him.

The Tardis Console

"She was always right to tell me." The Doctor tearfully thought. Feeling the Tardis's coral room blacken his senses. "I just wasn't brave enough to tell her how I always felt about her. To tell how much she meant to me."

Swiping the tears off the his cheeks. The Doctor returned to his controls. Monitoring the time vortex's movements. Making sure no void nonsense or time rifts where occurring.

Until a beeping alarm caught his attention "What?" The Doctor examined the threat better. "Wait. Those signals those are like the Autons?" The Doctor shuddered. "Haven't seem in a long time and what are they doing in London 2005?"

"Whatever it is it's definitely not good!" The Doctor teethed out. As he was putting the final coordinates in. He noticed on the screen a blond haired girl going into a fashion shop's basement. The same location where the Auton's signal was increasing.

"No." The Doctor ordered. Knowing this was the perfect ambush for his former enemies. To attack their unexpecting victim "I am not going to let another person be lost." The Doctor declared.

The End