RUROUNI KENSHIN: TALES OFF THE REIWA

by Emperor Plumpatine

Kenshin if frozen in tragic ice fishing accident to modern Japan and must go back to the past! But soviets, shishio and more bad guys stand in his ways!

RUROUNI KENSHIN: TALES OFF THE REIWA

BY EMPEROR PLUMPATINE

I horiginally ghostwrite this for spaceboots-sama, but now I update for REIWA era.

CHAPTER 1: SECRET BASE OF COLD

One cloudsy day, Kenshin and Saito were headed to the SECRET AAANTRCTIC BASE in rissia, where the russiaons were using soviet magic to ressurect shishio makoto, so he could coinquero Japan for tehem, so they would not lose the RUSSO-JAP WAR a sentry later. What the Russians did not noh was tdat shishio was too powerful! An he would use fire to destroy hole in world, an riule the earthspherical. "You must stop!" sed kenshin "Shishio will knotrolf all you and it bwill be very bad for he is too strong! And he hates clod! And Russia is very clod, but it will be on fire!" "No , you lye!" said soviet sorceror. Kill the meiji jaopanese bastards! "It's no use!" said saito. "Gatotsu 3rd stile!" and he kill some but more cum. "Saito, stop killing! We fought for pieces in japan!" "No, but this is not japan, and I yam government employee, and tired from walking an nied cigarettes and soba bnoodles!" So kenshin unsheath reverse-bald, and Sou ryu sen,a dn ryu tsui sen on soviet sorcerors. And saito use new attack, called "Gatotsu 1 ½ style!" it wuz like gatotsu 1st and gatortotsu 2nd style but combined! The Russians were losing bad, but then ice fishers arrivened. "We need to get more whale and sharke arms for stew." "But those fish are endangered!" said the odder fisherman "Do not worry, we are Japanese, so it is ok" an tey both laugh forever, until they crash into kenshin's ice footing, an he fell into water and froze!

Chaoter 2: KENSHIKN RUBOERN!

Noew, a ice melted, an kenshin came out. "Where am io!" he schreamed!, an cmoatose, he went to store but saw t vans and was scared BECAUSE IT WAS REALITY TV! And the horror of moder entertainment knocked him unconscious, schreaming for kaoru! An people teak Kenshin to mental asylum, and he confudsed, but he said ororororororororororororororo so many times, that psy-doctor didn't know what to do, and release him on bial of 3 million cents. So kenshin went to his old home, but there was a GIANT SKYSKREAPER there istead. Then, government employee came up to kenshin ansd said "Are the famous hitokitr battousai!" yes, where am i?" "help us win the election! You can kill other political parties like in the meiji era!" "but I swore nevar to kill again because kaoru wouldn't like me if I did. Wait, what era is it!" "It's the reiwa era! Meiji's great great grandson!" NO said kenshin, realizing that he was in the future.

CHAOTER 3: MUST FIND KAORu

"How did I wind up in this reiwad era?" thoiught kenshin. I must get back to my own time! And kenshin started to look in the newspaper for time machine adds. Someone was building one, and his name was Shinamori ouchy. "It must be Aoshi and Misao's decadent!" so kenshin took train to Kyoto, where shinamori ouchy lived. He went on the bullet train, but he had no monee from reiwaaah era, so he coulcn't ride on the train., they wouldn't let him ride on top, but he did anyway, and didn't dye thanks to the powar of hiten mitsiruugi style. Hello" said shinamori ouchy, dressed in a dkimono covered in tim machine rust. "Do you make time machnexs?" "I yam trying, but I think I will give up, because it doesn't pay well, and I can't get my physics right. I am going to sell the house, and go into saniation work." "But I need to go backl in time to see kaoru!" "wait my grandparentdres mentioned her. Are the famous manslauyer!" "no, for I no longer kill, I use blunt side sword." "Ah ok, I will mtry to maek tiem machine one more time-" "No, that tiem machine is too expensive, an we need to pabiils!" said shinamori ouchy's wiofe. "But wife, jhe needz to go bak in tiem!" "I'm not supporting you aney more, I'm going back to my home village." "Wait! I have meiji money!" "Wat goud isthat!" said wife "We can sell this online at high pcires to n00b collectors, and rich!" So they did, and they paid bills, an got more money for tiem machine.

CHAPTER 5: TEH PLOT FATTNES

So the newk time machine wasi read to be useered by kenshin, so he went to take walk in park, but then, russiant airplane fly overhead. Suddenly, out ef parachute, NEU SOVIET

SORCUERORS jump out, andf they sai : "We will get you, battosay and soviets will rule jaopan!", an they left to find shishio's grave. Kenshin tried to stop hem, but we was too late, and shishio, wasd al;ive again! "The fires of hell burn my body, but I yam back for destruvenge of reiwhat ERA!", an shishio make Russians his new syndicate, bucasue they fortgot teir originmanial mission of turn of century russia.

CHAPTER 6: THE HUG FIGHT WIOTH NO RULE

So KENSHIN, and shishio duel for fate of raywhaaat era, andf "I am stronger than everyone else, AND WILL RULE SOLE SYSTEM!" Shishio say, an take bite out of kenshin's robe and foot. "I will stop you for great justice of week!" and kenshin slam reverse blade onto shishio's arm, so shishio use fire spelling on sooord, and he gain damage to kenshin. Tthen it cum time four damakakryu nodemako vs fire swirlynado, so kenshin deflected it, and shishio overhot, too hot, so he took off some bandages, but then there was dark clouds in a a GRAVE! It was einishi, who a zomby with maggots from hell, had crawled schreaming, "Tomoe smilies upon me again! I will kill kenshin you dick! DIE" But then, Soviet Saucers cast spell that FUZE shishio and einishi into one all powerful demon called DARKKATANA. HE had long white hair an bandahges, kimono, and Chinese junk clothes, haj really long fire sword that talked like the sooon, and hippie glasses! "I AM THE MEST EVIL EBIL OPF ALL!", and DARKKATANA fight kenshin really bad, and beat carp out hijm.

CHAPTER 6 ½ The hug flight conclusion!

Now kenshin was too weak to use AMAKAKRU FU HIRANO MAKI , biut ten, ouchy shinamori, and wife came to find the bad happenin. An hey reverse time machine physocs to make it into GIANT LASER BEAM CANNON that fire at DARKTANAKA, and he giot weaker with science of l;aser, and kenshin recover will to live, and finish attack wiuth reverse-bald. Then, DARKKATANA, die, but he was already dead to begin wioth, so kenshin did not break his vow to knil kill. An soviuet sorcerers went back to russia to get day jobs, never again to harm reiwhat? ERA.

CHAPTER 7: BAXCK TO THE MEIJI

So Kenshin said goodbye to ouchy shinamori, and wife, and he uze tiem machine to go backl in time, and kaoru, sano, yahiko, an daoshi, misao were so happy to see him, and even saito had a smirk. An they all went o to the akebake except saito cause hew a loner.