Chapter 116

Every single day since "The Bathroom Incident" Harry had felt unwell. Dread was now a part of his being. It filled his heart and ran through his veins. It made his hands shake in the middle of classes. It turned his stomach at every meal. There was no escape. He watched the twins during every meeting with Dumbledore and wondered at how they were affected, if they cared that soon they would be murdering the man sitting at the desk before them. Their faces gave him no sign of their thoughts. He honestly would have thought very badly of the twins if he did not know snippets of their lives from throughout the year and see the worn face of Neville on a daily basis. Neville, like Harry, seemed to also have the same feeling of dread coursing through him. Though everyone else may have seen it as him feeling the effects of releasing Lucius Malfoy back into society. Very few people were talking to him these days.

"Oh," Harry started, walking into the dorm room to find Neville placing the top on a very big box. "Is today the day?" Harry asked.

Neville nodded. "Yeah, seventeen. Big birthday for them."

Harry nodded, staring at the big box meant for Graces and the much smaller wrapped gift meant for Draco.

"I didn't realize," he mumbled, thinking of how he had just seen the twins in Dumbledore's office.

Neville made a small snort and grinned slightly. "Would you have wished them well?"

Harry considered. "I, uh, yeah I think so."

Neville lifted a brow. "Graces says you don't say a word during the meetings, she believes you talk once they have left the office. She also mentioned you have not spoken a word to her or Draco since your apology."

"Which Draco didn't accept," Harry pointed out.

Neville just shook his head. "His silence didn't mean that. He's just—" Neville sighed. "He's just Draco. This is all hard."

Harry nodded again, not sure what else to say. "You leaving to meet them?" Neville typically met up with the twins somewhere after meetings.

"Yep."

"Do, uh, do you have an answer?"

Neville nodded hesitantly, his discomfort palpable.

"And?"

"And I think Graces should hear the answer before anyone else."

"Fair," Harry conceded, staring again at the box. "How is it going with Draco?"

"Draco speaks to me only slightly more than he speaks to you," Neville revealed. "Montague sometimes joins and makes comments here and there and I just assume his little snippets are on par with Draco's thoughts and feelings."

"What's Montague saying?"

Neville rolled his eyes. "Nothing worth noting at the moment."

"Have you got to speak to Graces alone at all?"

Neville shook his head. "Nope, Draco is always there watching and listening. Which means Graces is being… well, not being Graces."

Harry smiled slightly. "Well, maybe that's a good thing."

Neville finished up his wrapping, which, despite how carefully he was working, still didn't look that great and met his eyes meaningfully. "I don't mind being screamed at, or dealing with the Black temper as Montague calls it. I hate this prim and proper cold attitude she is feigning in front of Draco."

"We're sitting there and I am telling her my concerns with, erm, her proposal," Neville swallowed uncomfortably. "And I can tell she wants to really argue with me. She's literally biting her tongue to hold herself back from how she truly wants to respond, but because Draco's there she wants to appear calm and in control. So I can't tell if she is hearing me or not. She responds to me, but I haven't a clue if she hears me. Her responses are so measured."

"Are the responses good?" Harry asked curiously.

Neville's jaw tightened slightly. "She's all feeling, Harry. She… she's always been all feeling. I am talking logistics and worry, and her responses have been echoings of hearing me and sometimes solutions to a worry I may have, but—" Neville just shook his head. "I wish we could have one conversation where she is herself, before I answer, but I have realized I am not going to get that."

Harry wasn't sure if he should say what he was thinking. He and Neville had been on this very fragile road of becoming close, but he still knew that Neville harbored some very deserved resentment towards Harry after he almost killed the twins.

"Maybe it's a good thing she has not been herself in these discussions," Harry said quietly. "I mean from what I know Graces can be a force and maybe not having that force allows you to make the decision more on what you want and not what you're, erm, forced into?"

Neville stared at Harry for a moment, clearly turning the words in his head and examining them for anything that he may deem unfairly said, but after a bit he gave a small smile and nod.

"She truly is a force," he admitted, carefully picking up the box.

Harry went and plucked the gift for Draco up and aided Neville in carefully placing it on the top.

"Thanks. Any chance I could use your cloak?" he asked sheepishly. "Don't really want anyone seeing me walk out with these."

"Oh, yeah, of course." The last thing Harry was going to do these days was deny Neville a request.

He handed Neville the cloak and looked sadly at the bigger box.

Neville rolled his eyes. "You're ridiculous. it's coming back tonight."

"It is?" Harry asked, his brows going to his hairline.

"Yeah, it is. Everyone has seen me with it, it can't just disappear suddenly and be seen with Graces."

Harry smiled at the logic. "Ron will be happy to hear that as well."

"I doubt Ron will be happy about anything regarding me these days."

Harry looked up at Neville. "I'm talking to him, he's going to come around."

"Doubt it," Neville scoffed. "Him and Hermione are just feeding off one another. Maybe being with Graces is forgivable, but he will never forgive me for not re-testifying against Lucius. I don't even blame him."

"I get it," Harry promised. "And if I can get it they will eventually get it."

"I don't care if Hermione gets it," Neville grumbled. "It doesn't matter."

Harry wasn't sure what to do about Neville and Hermione, but he was definitely going to fix things between Ron and him. "Don't think about all that mess right now."

Neville scoffed. "My whole life is a mess at the moment in case you forgot. Hard to not think about. My gran hasn't spoken to me since that last howler and I have never seen my Uncle Algie so disappointed in me."

Harry swallowed. "Still haven't told them the real reason as to why?"

"No, I want to do that in person. Not through a letter or a brief meeting here at the school. I feel we will need a serious amount of days to go through the fallout of them finding out about my relationship with the Malfoy heiress."

Harry frowned. "Isn't that Draco? I mean Draco is the heir."

Neville shook his head. "No, Draco refused to relinquish control as patriarch after his father was released."

"His father isn't fighting that?"

"He can't, not legally anyways, according to Graces." Neville shrugged, now awkwardly trying to get the cloak over himself. Harry grabbed another end and helped him maneuver it until the other boy was completely gone. "Am I good?"

"Yeah, you're good. Good luck."

"Thanks," Neville laughed. "Think I'll be needing it."

Harry wondered as the door shut if that meant the answer would be a no or a yes and then laughed when he realized it very much worked for both.

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Graces braced herself with a slow breath as she waited for Neville to arrive. Draco sat in the corner of the small apartment that she and Neville were no longer allowed alone in, but could meet in with her brother present or on rare occasions Graham present, but the last time he had chaperoned it had ended in disaster. Graham had no qualms with being antagonistic and Neville appeared to no longer have patience. The awful thing was Graces knew how high of regard Draco gave to Graham and the last thing she wanted was Graham disliking Neville and thus Draco's opinion becoming sealed.

"Do you think you will have an answer today?" Draco asked, lying back in an old armchair, his eyes closed as though he were contemplating sleep. Maybe he was.

"I don't know."

"It's been weeks."

"I realize."

"You wanted a joining shortly after your birthday."

"Yes."

"It's now your birthday."

"Do you have a point?"

"I don't believe that will be happening."

Graces then did turn at Draco's callus words. It was their birthday. They seldom said a word to each other these days, but she had thought that maybe today he could set some of his animosity aside. His comment felt cruel and it struck her exactly how Draco must have wanted it to. She felt foolish.

"I'm sure you will rejoice in his answer then."

Draco opened his eyes, but didn't say a word. They glared at each other for a few moments, Graces eyes welling up with hateful tears despite herself and Draco looking dully at her not caring for the emotion he had brought on.

Graces turned at the door opening and a few moments later Neville revealed himself. He looked nice. Nicer than he usually did, clearly having taken more effort in picking out his apparel and he held two gifts. Graces eyed the smaller parcel trying to figure out if it could possibly be a ring.

"Happy Birthday," Neville grinned, kissing her cheek sweetly.

Graces attempted a smile. "Is that for me?" she asked, nodding to the gift in question.

Neville grinned. "The bigger one is yours. This one is for Draco."

Draco blinked, taken aback as Neville handed him the small box. He eyed the other boy warily before placing it in his pocket, refusing to open it with an audience. If it bothered Neville he didn't show any signs of it. His face did fall when he turned back to her though.

She crossed her arms about herself ignoring the gift laid out to her.

"Do you have an answer for me?"

Neville frowned slightly. "I, erm—"

"It's been weeks."

"I know," Neville sighed softly. "We can talk about—"

"I am done talking! We have talked and talked and talked. I want an answer!"

Neville pressed his lips together tightly and shook his head with an air of exasperation. "Hello, Darling, It's nice to see you again. I've missed you."

Graces' eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means," Neville scoffed.

Graces' bit the inside of her lip and reminded herself that hexing Neville right now would do neither of them any good. "Do you have an answer for me?"

"I do," Neville admitted softly. "Why don't you open your gift first and—"

"Is it a ring?"

Neville looked taken aback for a moment, before admitting it was not.

"Then I don't want it." It all hurt so incredibly much. She crossed her arms tightly, cradling her chest as her heart began to splinter and crack. It was a no, after everything they had been through after everything she had done he was going to say no. "How could you not choose me?"

"That is not what is happening, Graces," Neville swore, moving to be closer to her.

"Then what is happening?" Graces demanded. "I have torn my world apart for you. I have hurt or wronged every single person in my life that mattered to me for you. I have twisted myself into someone I hardly recognize. I am a spy in a war so that I can have the chance at happiness with you! And you… you come here and all you can talk about are the reasons we should not be joined. Every day you have a new excuse or—"

"I have no excuses," Neville corrected, his eyes glancing over at Draco. "I am not making excuses, I am not trying to excuse myself from a joining with you. I am trying to ensure that you do not marry me if it's not right."

"I am perfectly capable of deciding what is right for myself," Graces snapped.

A noise from Draco reminded Graces of her audience. She could feel her embarrassment mingling with her rage. It was pathetic, begging a man to marry her. She could only imagine the things Draco was thinking.

"Could we—" Neville stopped and faced Draco. "Could we have a moment?"

Draco's brows knitted together slightly, his lips giving way to his amusement as his eyes narrowed. "No," he practically laughed at the request.

"Are you bloody kidding me? Do you honestly think anything is going to happen between us right now?" Neville asked, his own temper beginning to show.

"Is that what you think this is about?" Draco sneered. "You think she has a chaperone to ensure that you two don't get too intimate?"

Neville's cheeks flushed slightly. "No, I know there are other reasons. I just—"

"And one of the bigger reasons is because of situations like this," Draco pointed out. "So I will not be leaving. I suggest you get used to having an audience, Longbottom."

Neville seemed ready to burst with his own frustrations, but Graces didn't particularly care what he may be feeling in regards to her brother's attitude. Neville hardly had to interact with Draco anyways. At most of their meetings Draco said nothing, waiting until Neville left to unleash all of his thoughts onto Graces for her to weather without Neville there with her.

"You just barely turned seventeen today, Graces. I—"

"If this is about to turn into another discussion regarding how we are too young to marry I don't want to hear it. We have talked about that topic to death. I—"

"That is a monumental concern!" Neville pointed out.

"And I have addressed your concerns!"

Neville shook his head. "You absolutely have not."

"How have I not addressed it?" Graces demanded. "What are you still so concerned about that?"

"It's not just concerns regarding your age, Graces. It's concerns about mine as well!"

"If this is about you not 'being able to provide for us' again I will remind you again that I do not need your provisions. I am plenty wealthy for the both of us."

Neville pulled a face and looked away. He hated when the discussion turned to gold.

"I have other concerns."

"What concerns have I not addressed?" Graces demanded.

Neville just shook his head. "You make it out like it's so simple, Graces, and it's not."

"Is—" all her thoughts and insecurities choked her and she could barely bring herself to say the words out loud. "Is it me? Do you just not want to be joined to me? Is that what you can't say?"

Neville took a deep breath and looked away. "I'm saying… I am saying that—" Neville glanced over at Draco who was watching, before looking back to her. "You didn't love me when you slept with me. You… weren't ready and I maybe wasn't ready. This relationship feels like it's always two steps ahead of where we are. And I love you, but I think that us always being two steps ahead has caused so much—" Neville stopped as though he were trying to think of a word that would be less offensive than what he was about to say "—turmoil."

"We have been moving to catch up to where our relationship is since the beginning, but if we marry then again we are two steps ahead. And we can't take that back. We can't backtrack that. Once we're joined we're joined. We will be married. I will be your husband and you will be my wife. There is no going back from that, Graces. I don't want you to regret that. I don't want to be a failure, I don't want to marry you and realize I can't make you happy."

She had so many things to say. She wanted to scream that that was the whole point, that they would always be that to one another. That the leap of faith for them to join like that wasn't a big leap at all for her, because she knew they belonged together. But Neville didn't seem to see that. And she wondered if maybe more of her feelings were one sided. She swallowed all her words. "So it's a no."

Neville sat down beside the box. "I didn't say that," Neville stated quietly, looking up at her. "Do you still want to marry me?"

Graces didn't feel like she could say her answer. Neville had all but told her no already. She didn't want a marriage that she had pushed someone into.

Neville nodded and quietly began unraveling the ribbon on the box beside him. "I don't think we can wait for you to be ready to open your gift, so I'm going to. While I open this you should think of your answer and I will give you mine." With that he lifted the lid of the box revealing a small white kitten. Neville grinned, lifting it out to her.

"You have my answer," Graces said, not allowing the gift to distract her from the conversation at hand.

"You should hold out your hands and take mine then."

Graces puzzled at his words for a moment, before gingerly taking the small thing. She didn't see how a kitten answered her proposal at all. She gently moved the collar thinking maybe there was a ring, but none was there. She looked at the name on the collar and again found no answers.

"The collar says Longbottom."

Graces startled at Draco's voice beside her. He reached over and examined the small print etched into the gold disk hanging from the kitten's neck.

She felt like she was missing something and silently waited for him to explain, but instead he strode out of the room casting a furious glare in Neville's direction before slamming the door. She stared at Neville waiting for him to explain.

"It's your cat," Neville said by way of explanation, when she didn't reply he turned a deep shade of red. "And, well the last name on the collar is Longbottom not Malfoy, because—" Neville flushed. "—if you still want to be, you can be a Longbottom."

She waited to feel something, but nothing was coming to her. She had thought when she had her answer she would be devastated or elated, but here her answer was and all she felt was numb.

"What about everything you said?"

"I still stand by everything I said, Graces. If you marry me now, you have no guarantee of how successful I will be; I think there is a good chance that I may never be successful based on your family's measurements of success. You say you don't need provisions, but I care that you may not be proud. And the problem with getting married so young is I don't have a great idea of what will matter to you when you are completely grown."

"I couldn't even keep my promises to you this year," Neville reminded. "I thought I could change things, keep you safe, and I feel as though I have just led you and Draco into another awful situation."

"You offered the safe house, we chose not to go. I chose to fight."

"That's not my point. My point is all the things I brought up were all important things and this is the first time in weeks I feel like you have actually participated in the conversation. I want to make sure that I can make you happy and the hard thing about getting joined now is we do not have years of history proving that to be true."

Graces bit her lower lip and sat down on the sofa beside Neville, thankful for the small kitten still in her arms to offer her hands a distracting task as she mustered the courage to ask Neville why he was saying yes then.

"Because I want to," Neville whispered softly, his brown eyes turning gentle with the admission. "I've wanted to say yes since the moment you asked. I love you. I have endless doubts on if I am good enough for you or if I could always make you happy, but I have no doubts on the happiness I would have with you. I am certain you are the only person who could ever make me feel whole, I just question if I'm that person for you."

"You may question it, but I don't," Graces whispered, weeping for completely different reasons now. He wanted to, all his stupid questions and reservations had been for her sake. When she thought back on those conversations it was all so obvious. Everything he had talked about had always centered around something Neville felt he lacked, but he had never asked anything that had hinted to him worrying over something she lacked. And he was right, she did have a tendency to rush into things with him and then want to back away, but he really wasn't scared of this. He was just scared for her.

Neville grinned, and gently moved a piece of her hair back. "Then we should be joined."

Don't worry, while this fic may complete the sequel will be coming :) I just want to bask in this one being complete for a little bit before I start uploading the second installment. Please make sure to follow me on FFN or on Ao3 so you know when I begin uploading that. FFN has it so you have to manually agree to email updates, so if you go into settings you can adjust that. I am sooo excited to do the second fic! Who doesn't love weddings? Also, Neville and Draco getting to know one another AHHHH! So excited for you all to read all of that! AND lots of Graham and Draco banter! Not to mention the Golden Trio now being in the mix and the Slytherin Gryffindor dynamics of these teams coming together haha

Now to my thank yous. I have so many things to say, but I doubt I can say all of it. I cannot believe this is complete. And yes there are other installments coming, but just the fact that now this first one is done is insane to me. I started this fic having never written anything and back when I was first posting I thought I was insane and no one would like it. And while I am not like a super popular fic author by any means I feel so appreciative that I do have so many readers that have for the past ten years encouraged me and supported me. I didn't think I would have any and that this fic would just sizzle out with no one interested and me feeling discouraged. That clearly has not been the case. I am so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to read this. I am also especially thankful to Denarii. He has been my beta since chapter six and has become such a close friend to me. From coming to my wedding and driving to visit me after my first son was born and filling my fridge with freezer meals too fancy for me to pronounce.