A woman who looked right at her.

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Olivia had seen dead bodies before. Way too many times. So, seeing one was not a new thing for her, but even so, here, far away from the hustle and bustle of the city, in the quiet, dark night, a body under the water revealed by the moonlight made her heart stop for a moment, she barely managed to stifle a scream, and she quickly stumbled backwards. With shaking hands, she stared at the edge of the dock, now a couple of meters further, cold shivers ran down her spine, suddenly she remembered the cold hands around her ankles, and she was so very close from turning on her heel and rushing into the cabin to get the others.

But even so, something made her stop, look at the lake sparkling in the moonlight, and slowly, one careful step after another, she stepped back to the edge of the dock and peered into the water again.

But she didn't see anything.

This time, the moon bridge didn't stop at the body floating under the water, the water was rippling brightly, and there was no glimpse of the woman. Olivia frowned, she was sure she had seen her seconds ago, and she leaned forward, peering further over the dock, squinting to get a closer look.

Nothing.

No, I'm not losing my mind. I know what I saw.

Maybe there is a current in the water? Maybe the body sank deeper?

The alcohol coursing through her veins made her thoughts blur, her ability to reason slow, and she shook her head.

No, I'm not that drunk.

It wasn't my own reflection, I'm sure it wasn't…

But then something happened. Maybe it was the wind hitting her back at the wrong time, maybe it was the alcohol causing her coordination to fail, but her balance lurched forward, she took a step but to no avail as the edge of the dock continued no further. For a second she groped the black air, a muffled squeal escaped her lips, and then her body broke the surface of the water with a huge splash.

The water was cold, so cold that when it immediately seeped into her clothes, it felt like a knife was pricking her skin. It was also dark, black and endless, not at all like earlier in the day when it had glimmered invitingly in the daylight, it made her breath catch, her clothes heavy, and they began to pull her towards the bottom, the bottom that was surprisingly deep so close to the shore.

After the initial shock, her muscles began to work, adrenaline began to pump power into them, and she swam back to the surface, gasped for breath, began to swim with all her might towards the dock a couple of meters away. But then something seemed to grab her leg, stop her momentum, and start pulling her towards the bottom again.

Panic began to spread through Olivia's body as she realized her strength was not enough to resist the weight of the clothes and the unknown force that was slowly but surely pulling her back under the surface. She tried to yank her leg free, but the grip was too strong, panic made her heart pound in her ears, she felt the wriggling rapidly depleting the oxygen from her body, and she turned to look down to see what had grabbed her but she saw nothing.

"This is it" and "I don't wanna die" were simultaneously screaming inside her head, her vision started to blur, she knew it was only seconds before her lungs would involuntarily tell her to take a breath, and once again she tried to fight her legs free, once again to kick herself to the surface, but to no avail.

But the moment her muscles stopped trying, she heard a splash in her ears, and before she could think if it was real or imagined, someone grabbed her waist and started pulling her towards the surface. The unknown grip on her leg loosened, and she began to heave, heave, her head broke the surface of the water, and she gasped furiously, coughing and panting.

"Here, Elliot!"

The voices of people sounded distant to her ears at first, but the more times she got air drawn into her lungs, the more aware she became of her surroundings and realized that her partner was carrying her towards the shore. Then her feet hit the bottom, other hands grabbed her, and she was pulled up out of the water, she felt the wet grass under her hands, and she continued to cough, though her breathing was slowly getting easier.

"Liv!"

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

The alarmed voices of her colleagues swirled around her, but her brain was still only filled with vague porridge, and she didn't understand what had happened either, so she shook her head. But then she felt hands on her shoulders, someone knelt down in front of her, and she looked up to meet her partner's panicked eyes. Water was dripping off his clothes, running down his face, and then it hit her.

He had saved her life.

"El," she started, but Elliot wouldn't let her continue.

"What the hell happened?" His voice was stifled, it reminded her of the moment she'd been lying on the floor, the wound Gitano had inflicted on her neck, and a sudden guilt flared inside her.

"I… I don't know," she answered quietly, truthfully. Because she really didn't know. She didn't know how she had ended up in the water, and she certainly didn't know what had grabbed her leg and pulled her towards the bottom. The body came back to her mind, but she hadn't seen it underwater, and she realized she couldn't tell the others about it, not if she didn't want them to think she was crazy. So, she heard herself answering, telling a slightly chopped up version: "I... I thought I saw s-something in the water..." As the adrenaline began to drain from her veins, the chill increased rapidly. "But t-then I fell and when I tried to get to the s-surface, my l-leg got stuck and it pulled m-me to the b-bottom and…"

Someone draped a coat over her shoulders, and then she heard her captain's determined voice beside her.

"You can continue the conversation inside, but you have to get inside. Now."

Without taking his eyes off her, Elliot stood up, lifted her up with Cassidy, and they started walking towards the cabin, Olivia grateful for the support as her legs still felt like jelly.

And when she glanced at the lake behind her, only the moon bridge was flickering on its dark surface.

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Olivia had spent the rest of the evening wrapped in a blanket, a hot mug of tea in her hand, and the longer the evening had progressed, the more tiredness had crept into her body. She had recounted what had happened at least three times, each time deliberately avoiding telling everything. The others had seemed to believe her, only Elliot had watched her piercingly, suspicion flickering in his eyes, and this had been one of the many times she didn't like the fact that he could read her better than she could read herself.

She had wanted to thank him too, but she didn't know how. Her survival had been a miracle, the odds had been minimal, based only on the fact that her partner had happened to glance out the window and seen the splash of water from her fall.

And she hadn't even gotten a chance, not before Cragen went to the bathroom and the others to their bedrooms, Elliot started to open his couch, and she sat down on the chair next to her partner. He didn't turn to look at her, but she knew he was aware of her presence, and she sighed.

"Thank you, El. You… You saved my life."

Elliot nodded, still not turning to look at her, just continued to make his bed, and Olivia frowned.

"What? Why don't you say anything?"

"What am I supposed to say?" Elliot's voice was suddenly strained, and it made her first confused and then cross her arms.

"I don't know? Maybe act in a way that doesn't seem like you regret doing it?" The words slipped from her lips before she could stop them, he turned to look at her, hurt flashing in his eyes, and he gritted his teeth as he began to put his pillow inside the pillowcase.

"You know what? Screw you, Olivia."

Olivia groaned in disbelief, anger made her stand up, and she didn't understand at all why her partner seemed as if she had offended him in some way.

"What is wrong with you?!" She snapped, though deliberately keeping her voice low so they wouldn't arouse the interest of the entire cabin. "It was an accident!"

That made him stop, and he stared at the pillow in his hands at first, as if he hesitated for a moment, but then he turned his gaze to her, eyes full of uncertainty, pain, and it was as if his gaze had thrown a pail of water over the rage that was flaring inside her.

"Was it?"

His words felt like he had slapped her. Her stomach dropped, her expression changed disbelieving, and she shook her head slightly.

"What? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, you seemed… Odd, before you went out. I know the cases have been tough lately, and I… I don't know what happened out there in the lake, but when I got to the dock, you just…" He swallowed, apparently to cover the breaking of his voice, and Olivia had to use all her willpower to keep the tears from welling up in her eyes. "… You just floated in there. Like… You would have given up. And I thought…" He pursed his lips and rubbed his face. "That… It was too l-… Damn it!" He snapped and threw the pillow back onto the bed with force. Olivia swallowed.

"I "just floated in there" because there was nothing I could do," she answered barely audible. "I was stuck, and time was running out. It was an accident; I didn't want to die. And you saved me, El. Because of you, I'm still standing here and arguing with you, you saved my life." She had started to take steps towards him as she spoke, and he was still standing there staring at the pillow he had thrown on the couch, and hesitantly she reached out to touch his arm. That made Elliot finally turn his gaze to her, his blue eyes glistening with tears, a lump rose in Olivia's throat, and before she could think further or stop herself, she wrapped her arms around her partner and pressed her face against his shoulder.

"Thank you."

His body was warm, his scent so familiar, his muscles strong under her hands, and the longer she hugged him, the less she wanted to let go. His body tensed for a moment, but then she felt his arms around her as he pulled her tight against him, buried his face in her hair, and against her ear she heard him swallow.

"You scared me."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

And they stood there, warming each other, comforting each other, until the bathroom lock clicked. They loosened their grip, Olivia quickly wiped her eyes, Elliot turned back to his bed, and as Cragen stepped out of the bathroom, he paused for a moment, as if suspecting something.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Olivia answered quickly and grinned. "It's just an excellent opportunity to criticize Detective Stabler's bed-making skills. You can tell when someone else has been putting the sheets for you for almost your entire life," she smiled, making Elliot snort, and then she started walking towards her own bedroom. "Good night, Cap."

And she was no longer cold, but an overall warmth was flowing through her veins.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Warmth was swirling inside Olivia even as she entered their freezing cold bedroom. This time, however, the lights were still on, there was a sheet over the blanket, and she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Did you have a big sheet, or where did you find that?" She asked Cassidy, who was already lying in bed, scrolling through his phone. She closed the door, dug a pillowcase out of her bag and put her pillow inside it before turning off the lights and sitting on the bed. Brian closed his phone and put it on the nightstand.

"I found it in the closet."

Olivia laid down, burrowed under the covers, and even though she could still feel the warmth of Elliot's body against hers, she was glad that Cassidy had already warmed the covers, because the room really was cold.

"A double blanket is not such a bad solution in this room after all, is it?" She could hear the smirk in her former colleague's voice, and she snorted.

"Shut up."

Cassidy fell silent, Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could still feel her partner's breath on her hair, his strong arms around her, his oh-so-familiar scent, hear his voice in her ears, and in that moment, she knew something had changed. Gone was the denial of what had happened, the suppression of feelings, all that remained was the desire to repeat in her mind what had happened over and over again, to float in the feeling it caused, and to listen to how her heart had begun to sing.

She was so engrossed in her own thoughts, in her own dream world, that she didn't even notice at first when a hand slipped around her waist and landed lightly on her belly. It wasn't until the fingers began to find their way under her shirt that her eyes snapped open, and instinctively she grabbed the hand on her stomach.

"What the hell, Brian?!"

The hand was pulled away, she sat up and stared at the man lying next to her, whose voice sounded embarrassed to say the least.

"I'm sorry, I… I don't know what… I thought…"

However, anger flared inside Olivia, she swung her legs to the floor and started looking for her sweatshirt. Behind her she heard Brian sit up.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to leave. I promise I won't do it again."

Olivia didn't listen though, she found the sweatshirt on the floor and started to pull it on while she stood up and started circling the bed to get out of the room. But just as she was about to grab the doorknob, his words stopped her in her tracks.

"I know you like him. That's why you don't want to do this with me."

"Excuse me?"

"Stabler."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"No? So tell me, why are you still listening? If I were you, I would have already stormed out the room."

"My partner has nothing to do with whether I'm comfortable with being sexually harassed in bed!"

"I know, I made a mistake, and I'm sorry," Brian sounded honest, and the anger slowly started to dissipate inside her. "I know that you know that I was the one who was more involved 12 years ago. Maybe that's why I thought… Well, never mind, I overstepped my bounds. I won't do it again. Please, come back to bed, I can go to sleep next to Stabler."

"He wouldn't be very pleased."

"I know. He would hate it."

The image involuntarily caused a small chuckle to escape Olivia's lips, and she sighed.

"Okay. But it means you keep your hands to yourself, and we don't talk about Elliot anymore. Since there's nothing to talk about," she quickly added before walking back to the side of the bed and laying down. They lay in silence for a moment, just staring at the ceiling until Cassidy opened his mouth again.

"You know, I used to envy your partnership sometimes. The knowledge that someone always has your back."

"What did I just…"

"No, just... Let me finish," Brian asked, and Olivia sighed.

"Our partnership is definitely not always such a fairy tale as you make it sound."

"I believe it, but you should know... You should have seen Stabler today. The moment he realized you had fallen into the water, not even a hurricane could have stopped him. He only managed to quickly throw his hoodie off before he jumped into the water. No hesitation, no waiting, just… He didn't just want to save you, Liv, he was going to save you. There's a difference in it."

Cassidy's words made a lump rise in Olivia's throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut, glad he couldn't see her in the dark.

"Well, he's… He's my partner."

"He's always been more than just your partner, and you know it, Liv," his voice was sharp, final, and she didn't get a chance to protest. "I don't know what's going on between you two, but..."

"Nothing's going on between us," she interrupted, but Brian didn't let her continue.

"...But you didn't see his face today when he realized that you had sunk into the water and didn't surface. He… He was terrified, Liv. He panicked like he was about to lose someone he really loved. And I hope you appreciate that, because it... It's really not a given."

"I know."

And then Cassidy fell silent, turned on his side, and soon a quiet snore filled the room. But Olivia couldn't sleep, his words echoed in her ears, causing sleep to circle her from afar.

"He didn't just want to save you, Liv, he was going to save you. There's a difference in it."

"He's always been more than just your partner, and you know it, Liv."

"It's really not a given."

"I know."

But did she know? Did she really?

Maybe she knew. Maybe it was something that her heart had been trying to tell her all these years, but which she had stubbornly forced her mind to suppress.

Maybe that was why she loved him so much.

Because since the day they had met, he had always been there for her.

Her partner. Her best friend.

Her Elliot.