Rating: T for occasional language
Summary: Set in early season 5 when Harm was out flying. This story gives Harm a different (better!) reason for changing his designator than the show provided. And may just open the way for him to find his happily ever after – with a little trouble along the way, of course.
Disclaimer: JAG was created by Donald P. Bellisario and is owned in whole or in part by Belisarius Productions and Paramount Network Television (CBS Studios). This is a work of fiction playing with the characters that I have loved for more than twenty years – I make no money from this and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.
Letters Home: Doin' It Their Way
By: visions2share (a.k.a. Vi)
Sunday, June 6, 1999
U.S.S. Patrick Henry
Mediterranean Sea
Mac,
I just got off the phone with Gran – it was great to get to talk to her. When my grandfather was deployed there was no unofficial shore communications except by mail. When my dad served, voice radio calls had mostly replaced morse code for official communications but personal communication was still strictly by mail. I'm ashamed to say that when I was deployed the first time, special arrangements could occasionally be made for personal ship to shore calls but I never even thought of calling Gran. I was so angry at Mom and Frank about the dust up we'd had before I left, I was just pleased to be out on my own and away from the drama. She was so so pleased I called – even if I only had ten minutes that it makes me feel guilty I've never done it before. I told her we planned to come visit when I get home and she's excited to finally get to meet you. She says she's waited years and I talk about you all the time. You may get a letter from her soon as she asked for your address. I was running out of time and told her she could send it to JAG HQ – try not to lose it on your desk before you've read it – okay?
I'd only sent Harriet a quick note yesterday but I took the time to write a longer one today. I also went by the ship's store and picked up a tiny Patrick Henry t-shirt for Little AJ and dropped it in the mail. I'm afraid I couldn't remember Bud and Harriet's address so I sent it to HQ. I hope it's somewhere close to the right size, I had no clue what size to get but finally settled on a t-shirt rather than one of those legless jump suit things as I figured maybe the sizing would be a little more forgiving.
That Gaffney guy sounds unpleasant and possibly dangerous. Did he threaten you? You said it was clear he knew about Farrow – is he trying to blackmail you or something? If he's being inappropriate – especially if he's threatening you – you need to tell Chegwidden. Get a record of his behavior in case it escalates later. Do you have co-council? If not, ask for Bud or Carolyn Imes so you don't have to meet with the sgt alone again. I know, I know you are a Marine and can take care of yourself. You are and you can. That doesn't mean, however, that you shouldn't take every precaution. And as my final argument (for now) may I remind you that in the case of such behavior on the part of a defendant towards defense council it is S.O.P. to report it. Please be careful, Mac!
I'm so pleased you witnessed the admiral's clap back at Bugme – made my day! I have been going over my memories of the file on your court martial and I don't think your home address was listed. I suppose he might have gotten it in the course of preparing for the trial – although I can't think why it would have been pertinent. He might have gotten it from somebody there at the office – Tiner, maybe. I can't see Bud giving it to him, or Harriet, or Chegwidden – and I'm not sure anybody else knows it. Tiner, however, would have access to it and might be tricked into giving it to Brumby. The other possibility – could he have followed you? Did you let him and his take-out in?
You're right, there are very few up sides to my being here other than flying. I'm not at JAG. I miss being there and working with my friends but not reporting to Chegwidden is worth it – even if I wasn't flying. I can hear you asking why, and the truth is it's because it puts you and I in different chains of command. No pesky fraternization regulations coming into play.
I've known for a while now that I want to date you – have a personal relationship with you – have a chance of a future with you but, I couldn't figure out how with both of us at JAG HQ. When I learned my eyes could be fixed and I could have a second chance at my first choice of careers I hoped it would mean that I could have a chance with you too. I know it probably seems silly with the number of miles between us now – but I'm hoping we'll be able to find the positive in even that. We haven't, either one of us, ever been the best at communicating about personal things so I'm hoping we can use my deployment to improve our communication. Hopefully having to think and type will stop each of us from jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. Maybe it'll even help me keep my size thirteens out of my damn mouth.
Would you be willing to have a long-distance relationship with me? If that's moving too fast, would you at least be willing to work on our communication skills while I'm gone with the hope that we could give dating a try when I get home? I'm willing to move at whatever speed makes you comfortable – really slow to super-fast. All I know is that all my plans for the future revolve around having you in my life. So, Marine, now the ball is in your court – what's it going to be? Remember – break it to me gently, my heart is on the line.
Always,
Harm
Sunday, June 6, 1999
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown, DC
Oh Harm!
I've rewritten this sentence so many times I've lost count. I have dreamed so many times of a future with you. It's something I want more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life. Even more than I wanted to be a Marine. But I also have to admit it's something I have no clue how to do. I've never been in any kind of relationship that had even a possibility of lasting. Probably the closest I've ever come was Farrow because at least I respected him before we became involved. I'm ashamed to admit that all my so called relationships were just booty calls. All about the physical attraction and sex. I've never dated a man more than three times without ending the third date in bed. And that was only Dalton. The two other men in my past Chris and Farrow were … were … I don't remember my first time with Chris as I was drunk. And Farrow was nice to me at work for months and then when I only had a few weeks left in his command before I left for law school, he hit on me one night when we were the only ones still in the office – I was so lonely, so needy, so thankful he had recommended me for law school I threw myself into an affair with him.
This has turned into something of a confessional. If after knowing these things about me you are still interested in a relationship than I definitely am too. You'll have to show me what to do – teach me how to be in a relationship based on something more than sex.
Stay Safe,
Mac
P.S. If all this has changed your mind, that's okay. I completely understand. No matter what happens or doesn't happen you are the best friend I've ever had in my whole life – and I hope that doesn't ever, ever change.
Author's Note: I apologize for not posting this yesterday. I was not feeling well and didn't manage to accomplish anything at all. Thank you for your patience and for reading. ~Vi