Creation began on 06-13-23
Creation ended on 10-29-23
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Different from You: Don't be the Ghost Girl
All the limited information NERV had on this new Angel, based solely on what they were able to learn from Shado, who saw it before in her past, was that Rei ended up facing it alone and defeated it by making Unit-00 self-destruct. This, along with the Second Child being unable to fight and the Third Child being on strike after the Thirteenth and Fourteenth Angel incidents that nearly destroyed two lives…and needed to be prevented from echoing in this new predicament.
"…So, conventional weapons are useless against this one?" Ritsuko asks Misato.
"Yeah," she responds, albeit with little hope; she had read Shinji's diary and learned that the Rei Ayanami of that universe tried shooting the Angel with her rifle, but it wasn't effective at all.
In addition, Shinji's diary revealed that Gendo had tried to force Shinji to pilot Unit-01 when Rei was in danger…but he refused him out of the spite he still had towards the man. Apparently, the man didn't think once about trying to send him out against the original Fifteenth Angel to try and help Asuka, who was dealt a major blow to both her psyche and pride, but he seemed desperate to want to save Rei. Only Shinji made a conscious decision to refuse because he didn't want to leave Shado without her father. He justified his choice by refusing to orphan his own daughter due to his own father's animosity towards the pair.
"Those that pilot the Eva must accept the risks that come with it," she read Shinji's words spoken in his diary, which were in actuality Gendo's words that he was repeating to him when he tried to make Shinji pilot Unit-01 to save Rei. "Your words, old man. Your words."
Misato had to admit to herself that this version of Shinji had a lot of anger that he projected towards NERV for their role in what befell himself and Shado. More so than she had initially expected of him to possess, and when they collided against each other with differing views on who was right and who was wrong, his beliefs after the original Thirteenth Angel were tainted on a level that was toxic-yet-understandable because he made a choice of where he wanted to be, not where others wanted him to be.
"Well, we can't self-destruct an Eva and destroy a city in the process," went Fuyutsuki as they had to reevaluate their situation.
But this time, they only had Unit-00 and Unit-02; their Unit-01 was still being evaluated and, unlike the Third Child of the other dimension that went on strike, their Third Child was just suspended from active duty. This time, they knew a little better than before because of Shado's limited recollection of events. If they were fortunate enough, they could defeat this Angel and protect the city.
-x-
While Shado slept as peacefully as possible at a time like this, Shinji worried about the situation regarding this Angel that he learned was the original Sixteenth Angel, this ring-like creature of light that, according to Shado, made Rei blow up her Eva to defeat it, but took much of the city with it in the process. Later on, despite the cold looks everyone gave her father because he refused to pilot the Eva, it seemed that Rei had survived, but was different. Shado couldn't explain it, but the way Rei spoke after the incident, the way she looked, her overall presence and demeanor…didn't seem like earlier before the Angel had arrived.
"The Ghost Girl was like a different person," Shado had explained once. "She was…scary…and cold…like the Monster."
Shinji might've not had her father's memories, but based on the fact that he chose not to pilot the Eva during that time, anyone that was fortunate enough to survive something like having an Evangelion turn into a makeshift bomb to defeat a monster would feel some measure of contempt towards someone that could've done something to help…but refused because of personal reasons or principles. He'd probably feel resentful towards the people that could've helped him out of a jam but chose not to because of one reason or another. But lately, he was starting to lose touch and faith in the Eva, especially after Shado explained to him that after facing the original Fourteenth Angel, he was stuck inside the Eva for two days, something the little girl couldn't get over just yet…and something he didn't want to echo for any reason. It didn't matter if it was to protect the world or just a city, his first priority had to be Shado.
It was eerily quiet. More so than the last time they were down here when Asuka went up against the new Thirteenth Angel. Even though it was night out and he was up past midnight, Shinji became worried that something was wrong.
What's going on out there? He wonders as he looks at the door. Are things going well…or are they going bad?
"Hmm," he heard Shado as she turned over onto her right side beside him.
Well, at least she's not worried about anything right now, he thought calmly.
-x-
Asuka had to discard the dual saw after the Angel took control of it and almost infected Unit-02. Somehow, this Angel was able to encroach on objects and manipulate them. According to Misato, the only way this Angel was defeated by detonating an Evangelion, but they couldn't do that without destroying the city. It wasn't even affected by the pellet rifles; every time they fired, it was like shooting a wall of reinforced steel.
"Tell me," Asuka had said to Misato before she and Rei had left to face this Angel, "whose Eva was used to defeat this Angel last time?"
"It was Rei's," Misato revealed. "You were unable to get your Eva to move…and Shinji refused to pilot after the last two Angels he faced off against."
Being informed that Asuka was aware that Shado's actual father was dead left Misato bothered with sharing these private details with the redhead that were afforded by the diary they had found. Still, it was one of the crucial things that Shinji was not aware of because neither he or Shado should know about, and for different reasons. For Shinji, it was to not lose the trust and confidence that built between himself and Shado, and for Shado, it was not to shatter her perception of the young man she believed to be her father…or expose to her that she was in an alternate universe where she never existed. It seemed like a lot of work to do, but Asuka couldn't consider the alternative if Shado knew the truth and was unable to deal with it.
She may not know the truth yet, she thought as she took out her Prog. Knife, but she doesn't need to live with a false belief that her life is some sort of mistake or someone's idea of a sick joke when she has someone that wants her to be happy.
She projected Unit-02's AT-Field as the Angel came at her and she stabbed its "head"; she wasn't sure which end of this Angel was which because it was just a string of light.
Slash! The vibrating blade penetrated the Angel and caused it harm; it bled light.
"Aaah!" It shrieked as it recoiled from the red Eva.
-x-
Thud! Shado awoke from her slumber, wondering what was making a noise around her, seeing her father sitting beside her in the small room they were in.
"Daddy," she went, "what is it?"
"I'm not sure," he responded when he saw she was awake.
"Do you think the Ghost Girl will be alright against the 'acorn' monster?"
"There's a chance of doing better, why?"
"Because Ghost Girl was different after she went against the ring of light. She was like the Monster: Colder."
Shado could still remember the look on Rei's face when they saw her after the Angel was defeated by turning her Unit-00 into a bomb. She had never seen a person her father's age with such a cold expression directed at them, apart from Asuka, who was angry most of the time. It was like she wanted to say something to her and Shinji, but she chose not to. The coldest thing about Rei after that event was how she seemed closer to Gendo…but even more scary because of her lack of communication with people.
"Colder…and scarier," she utters.
"Shado?" Shinji asks, and she looks at him.
The little girl had an expression of woe that didn't betray her concerns about the albino girl. This made Shinji concerned that, whatever she might've witnessed in her past with her father, something would try to echo itself in this world. If something or anything just as worse as whatever happened to her before befell any of them, there was little chance of her understanding any of it or being able to cope with it. He didn't want to see her smiles become tainted or destroyed by grief or fear.
-x-
It happened so fast that nobody had time to react. The Angel had latched onto Unit-00 like a claw catching its prey. This made everyone in Central Dogma fear for the First Child.
"Rei, eject!" Misato ordered. "Get out of there, now!"
But Rei wasn't listening. She wasn't even conscious right now. She was someplace else, floating above a vast expanse of LCL, facing someone that resembled herself, standing hip-deep in said LCL, but her face's eyes obscured by her hair.
"Who…are you?" Rei asks the girl.
"Who…are you?" The doppelgänger responds, her voice sounding viscous in its tone. "Do you wish to become one with me?"
"I do not."
"You don't have a choice. It's already begun."
Oversized veins manifested under Rei's plugsuit, spreading across her body and face.
"Why…are you thinking of that other person?" The doppelgänger questions Rei. "Who are they to you…and why do they bother you?"
"Who…do you mean?" Rei asks, confused by her question. "Are you the Angel?"
"Angel? Am I the one you call…an enemy? I know nothing of these…enemies you call Angels. All I do know is that you attacked me…and that you're distracted by someone you see as a distraction in your eyes."
All around the two, images of a little girl with a young man were being displayed like rolls of film being played. The images showed the girl holding onto man's legs, an expression of fear on her face. This made Rei feel unease at having her personal thoughts being brought up by this person that might've been the Angel.
"You feel resentment towards this person…because of the attention the other person gives them," the doppelgänger utters. "You feel like…this little girl, this…Shado Ikari…is possessing the boy's time for herself. That…is a sign of spite."
"Spite?"
"You feel disgust towards her…simply for being around the boy. He pays her attention more than he ever did to you…or the girl that raises her voice at everyone. Do you want to be rid of her? Do you desire the boy all to yourself?"
"I…no. I do not. He already seems to be spoken for."
"Oh, he does. Based upon your recollection, this Shado girl didn't exist up until a few weeks ago, after an incident involving the boy…and for all intents and purposes, doesn't exist in any other sense because she didn't have any identity until she saw the boy and addressed him as her father, something you found very to be very bothersome."
"Because Ikari-Kun became attached to her, which makes little sense because he has never…"
"Because he has never, what? Because he never showed any interest of being attached to you? Because he never showed any affection towards anyone else like he does with this child? How can anyone demonstrate attachment towards someone else…if they don't even know that someone else wants them to show attachment towards them?"
Rei found the Angel's logic to be flawed, but there was some kernel of truth to it. There was no way for anyone like Shinji to know that someone else wanted their attention if they were not aware of it. But…she did dislike the girl for being around Shinji. It made no sense for him to pay attention to this small child that was from a different universe where she was some other Shinji Ikari's daughter.
"She calls you something that you find derogatory because she doesn't say your actual name," the Angel tells her. "Ghost Girl, is it? She calls you the Ghost Girl because she's afraid of you."
"She's afraid of me?" Rei questions.
The images of Shado hiding behind Shinji's legs was an indication that the girl was fearful of anyone around Shinji and herself. This was likely due to her age or the difficulties of her environment that her father had to deal with every day.
"Keep the Monster away," they heard Shado say.
"The Monster? Who is the Monster to this girl?" The Angel questions, and images of an older man in black with glasses appear around them. "This man. I don't see how she can be afraid of… Oh, no wonder she's afraid of him. A facial expression like that, any small child would show signs of fear or distress. And this man, this…grandfather…is seen as being less than human because of his behavior."
"Commander Ikari is not…"
"Is he, really? Based on your limited interactions with this child, you can't confirm or deny that this man is anything other than someone this child is afraid of. Also, based on said limited interactions, she is also afraid of you to a degree less than that of this other girl that yells a lot. How do you explain this?"
Rei noticed the limited memories she had of her interactions with Shado. Well, they were less than interactions and more of appearances in the little girl's life; very few words were spoken between them, if any were either spoken at all. They saw how Shado always seemed to be hide behind Shinji, viewing him as her protector against the things and people that were viewed as bad or hurtful.
"Angry Harpy Lady!" A memory of her addressing the Second Child after being more active around Shinji. "And the Ghost Girl!"
"Of all the people this child has seen or even spoken to," the Angel expresses, "it is you three that she feels frightened by to varying degrees. But it's the degree of negativity that you feel she has towards you that is making you suspect that she is possessive of this young man that has no relationship with his father outside of their questionable blood ties to one another."
"Possessive?"
"Oh, yes. Ever since she came around, the young man, this Shinji Ikari, has given her his undivided attention. It is the first time you have ever noticed that he has become something different from what you can understand. You have never seen him so concerned, so devoted to anyone else's well-being since… Well, since that night you two went up against another of my kind, only he barely knew you…and to this day still knows very little about you. Whereas with this girl, he is very…intimate with her because she tells him many things, many of which he has to learn in order to be what she sees him as, explaining and solidifying his attachment to her. She is a representation of a life outside of what you do. She is his path towards a better future. The mere fact that she is someone he can go back to at the end of the day, who waits for him, who talks to him, that says what he needs to hear from someone that feels better to hear it being spoken by them… It makes you feel resentment towards her for having his attention instead of you. It makes you feel…spiteful towards her."
"Spiteful?"
"Spiteful towards her for existing. Spiteful towards her for being involved in his life. Spiteful towards her…simply for giving him something that nobody else has been willing or able to give him at all."
And this Angel was speaking with such logic that made the girl see that, despite her limited interactions with Shado, she did have a sense of spite towards her…simply for being in Shinji's life. This child had no special qualities, no capacity to pilot the Eva, something she detested, no interest in even trying to, and all she really seemed to do as a sense of contribution…was make Shinji feel better than he had been in a long time since he arrived in Tokyo-3. It made sense to feel resentment towards her presence, to dislike the girl…simply for putting a smile on someone's face that nobody else could. And she really did…despise Shado's life, something Shinji was now committed to protecting.
However, if anything happens to her, she thought, imagining a scene in which it was raining and she saw Shinji standing before a solitary gravestone, his face sullen and full of hopelessness, he would be affected the most by her absence. He would feel…lost without her in his life, like her presence was a blessing…and its absence is a curse.
On the gravestone, the girl's name was etched in, and Shinji had fallen to his knees in front of it.
"Why?" She imagined him saying. "Why did you have to be taken from me? You were the only light in my empty life. I have nothing without you in it. I am nothing without you, Shado."
Accept the hatred that you feel towards the girl, she hears the Angel say to her. Accept that you want her gone.
Rei then imagines herself standing in front of Shado, who looked up at her with a concerned look on her face…and sees the knife in her hands being raised at Shado.
"Please," the little girl pleaded, stepping backwards from her. "Please, don't make me go bye-bye. I don't wanna go bye-bye!"
Accept that you want her gone.
But Rei…imagined herself dropping the knife…and kneeling down to offer her hand to the girl.
"I am…sorry," she tells the girl, surprising the Angel.
I can't, she thought as she looks at the Angel. Her presence in our universe may have been an accident to some and a mistake to others…but I can't change that, no matter what I say or think. She is here now, and she's not going anywhere if her father wants her around. It's not her fault for being seen as a hindrance to some people, including Commander Ikari, but there are people that find her a joyful presence in their lives, including Ikari-Kun, her father. No matter how much I dislike her for having his affection, I will not hurt her. I would be hurting Ikari-Kun if anything happened to his daughter.
It was the first time she actually did that, identifying Shado as Shinji's daughter…and not having done so bother her the way it did the last time she used the designation. The mere fact that she did so was a surprise for even herself. Even as she admitted to disliking the little girl, the albino teen couldn't and wouldn't endanger her if it meant hurting Shinji. It actually reminded her of something that she had read sometime after Shado entered Shinji's life: Attachment Theory.
Because the girl was young and dependent upon others older and more mature than she was, there had to be an explanation to why she was so attached to Shinji rather than someone else, and she found out what she didn't expect to learn. Whenever children lose their primary caregivers, either due to accidents, sickness or situations where they are unable to provide for them, they tend to find and form new attachments with the next person that will serve as a caregiver and aid in their development. Though Shado's case seemed different from other children; her separation from her actual father had resulted in her forming an attachment to Shinji, who, simply because of the circumstances surrounding her universal displacement, was not her actual father…but more akin to a surrogate, a substitute or even a replacement that she couldn't tell the difference between because she was so devoted to him. But she found that this attachment situation worked both ways; as Shado became emotionally bonded with Shinji, Shinji became emotionally bonded with her. Even though he wasn't her father, he was deeply committed to her care, just as her father had undoubtedly been prior to their separation.
Rei couldn't let anything endanger their bond.
-x-
Shinji was worried now. It had been over half an hour and there was no update on the situation with the Angel. As Shado slept beside him on the couch as peacefully as she could, he was still up and about, waiting for Misato or someone to come inform him of whatever was going on with the Angel Asuka and Rei were fighting. Suddenly, the door opened…and Misato came inside.
"Misato," he greeted, "what happened?"
"History…almost repeating itself," she explained cryptically. "The Angel attacked Rei and she nearly did what Shado says she did one time."
"And…Unit-00?"
"Extensive damage from the emergency N² bomb we had in case of an attack that required it."
"NERV had a spare N² bomb?"
"Actually, we have about fifteen of them. Not exactly what I would call a deterrent in case of an attack on the base."
Shinji looks down at his daughter and sighs.
"I am not comfortable with the knowledge that you have dangerous instruments laying around in case of an attack," he tells Misato. "But what about Ayanami? Is she in one piece?"
"Yeah. Before Asuka detonated the bomb, Rei ejected her plug and was outside the blast range that was contained by Unit-02's AT-Field. It was a miracle that the city survived; only two buildings were damaged. So…crisis averted again."
"They all seem like close calls now."
Misato didn't blame him for saying such; it was different for him because of Shado…and she had more insight into who the girl's father was like in life due to the diary. The guy had been split between a situation a terrible woman had put him in by hurting him that he stepped up to deal with with little help from others…and an immoral situation that his father forced on him that caused him more stress than he could handle. However, the latter issue was the only one he considered to be an issue due to NERV, from his point of view, having few scruples and a willingness to do anything to survive.
"Just because you live, it doesn't mean you're actually alive," she had read in the diary. "You can go your whole life with living, but if's deprived of any sense of merriment, of any joy, that's not a life. People can claim that as long you live, at least you're doing something, or that you have to fight to keep going, but that's their claim, their belief. Not mine. I'm not even fifteen…and I'm starting to feel like I'm winding down because of these people that want to live. What I want, what I need…besides Shado having a future where she's happy…is one where I can be happy with her, as well. And don't get the wrong idea. She makes me happy just to be in my life. It's just…"
At least she thought she had more insight into him. She suspected that the stress of trying to do two different things when it was a challenge for him to deal with just one that he was choosing to do. For him, fatherhood was preferable to piloting the Eva and putting up with people telling him things he didn't want to hear or do. Fourteen years old…and if it hadn't been his father that killed him, it was likely the stress he was under would have caused a shortening of his life.
"How are you feeling, by the way, Shinji?" She decided to ask him. "Feeling any stress?"
"Not as much as I used to," he responded, "except if it's not one thing, it's another that is raising difficulty here."
"Such as?"
"My parents…if that's even what I can call them now. When I think of the word 'bad', the word 'depravity' comes to mind. Because they did things that were so depraved…and I knew nothing about it until years later, which brings into question their sense of morality. Or rather, their sense of immorality. Thinking about it, I'm not sure I'd ever want either of them anywhere near Shado. Not with their choices that they made."
"Sounds like you don't want their influence to affect her development."
"I don't want them doing anything that will hurt Shado. Abuse, neglect, endangerment, abandonment, they hurt and leave you scarred, whether it's physical, verbal or emotional. Commit enough awful acts, where is the line drawn between right and wrong?"
Right and wrong? Misato thinks, feeling like Shinji just echoed something his alternate self had written in his diary. He called us out on that many times.
"Nobody at that paramilitary agency is in any position, whatsoever, to tell me or anyone else what's right and what's wrong," she had read. "They have committed acts that border on insane and inhuman. In an insane place, even the sanest person is vulnerable to the poisons of insanity. It's a struggle everyday just to keep from going mad."
And the worst part is that there are still possibly two Angels left to face, she thought as she looks down at Shado.
-x-
Opening her eyes, Rei found herself in the trauma ward.
"I'm…still alive?" She utters as she looks around, seeing nobody present.
Her memory clears up as she recalls what happened prior to ending up in the ward. She kept the Angel in place as Unit-02 showed up with an N² bomb, and then immediately ejected her plug before it detonated. Without Unit-00's AT-Field, the Angel would've gotten away, but Unit-02's AT-Field kept it in place when the bomb detonated. Her plug crashed somewhere and she lost consciousness. While it was likely that Unit-00 was damaged, the Angel's defeat was all that really mattered.
"You're awake," she heard a voice say to her, and she turned to her right in the room, seeing Shinji standing by the door.
"Ikari-Kun," she greets, then notices that Shado is hiding behind his legs, looking at her with some concern. "And Shado."
Shinji slowly stepped inside the room and sat in a nearby chair, sitting Shado on his lap.
"We heard that you defeated the Angel," Shinji says to her, "and you were able to walk away unscathed. That's good."
But Rei can't shake off Shado looking at her with a degree of suspicion. It reminded her of the conversation she had with the Angel. About her own insecurities toward the girl that limited their interactions, and she had no exact understanding of why she was given the moniker of Ghost Girl by this child.
"Can she tell me something?" She asked Shinji. "Why am I…the Ghost Girl?"
Shinji looks down at Shado, who buries her face into his shirt. This was not going to be easy to explain to Rei, but since she asked, it had to be explained by Shinji to the best of his abilities.
"It's not easy to explain the reasoning behind a designation like that, but…" He started, trying to get his words straightened out. "Shado saw something happen to you. A…bad memory or horrible dream. She saw…the Monster…hurt you the way anyone with bad intentions hurt others. Only it was worse than to hurt you. A lot worse."
Because Shado was present, Rei suspected that Shinji was being careful not to say things that were sensitive to a little child's mindset.
"Commander Ikari…dismissed me, you mean?" She asked him.
"Yes," he answered.
"What is 'doohiss' (dismiss)?" Shado wanted to know, looking at Rei.
"That's another way of saying someone has to leave," Shinji told her.
"Oh."
"It can also mean," Rei spoke, "that someone has been fired."
"But…the Monster didn't use fire on you."
"It's a figure of speech."
"Speech has a figure?"
Rei found herself cracking a smile on her face; the girl's curiosity and responses to what was said were something that simply didn't mix with NERV because it wasn't the kind of place one simply brought a child to for even the simplest of reasons.
"Eh-heh-heh… You…are funny, Shado-Chan," she told the girl.
"Thank you, Yuki-San," Shado responds, which surprises Shinji to hear.
"Yuki-San?" He asks her.
"Because of her skin," she explains. "You said she is…'abalno' (albino)?"
"'Abano'…"
"I think she's saying 'albino'," Rei utters. "Yes. Albinism, a difference in coloring in one's hair, skin and/or eyes."
"'Abalnosm' (albinism)," Shado expresses.
"Yuki-San. That is…better than 'Ghost Girl'. Thank you."
Shado bowed her head to her. To her, Rei seemed different from before. Her attitude was a little different, made her less…whatever the word was that meant someone was not safe to be around.
Shinji then got up with Shado and left to let Rei rest.
"See you around, Ayanami," he said before leaving out the room.
When she was alone again, Rei had to wonder something else. As much as she knew Shado was hardly at fault for whatever problems NERV had to contend with, and as beneficial as her limited knowledge regarding the Angels has been so far, she had to wonder what sort of future she had when the matter with the Angels was over. She would undoubtedly be leaving with Shinji, but what sort of future would they have after NERV? What sort of future would they have at all?
-x-
Unit-00 might've been damaged by explosion, but the damages were all under the hayflick limit. However, it would probably be over a month before it was back in fighting shape, so the First Child was facing suspended activity. Unless NERV tried to pair the girl with Unit-01 like before. This was something Ritsuko found to be a logical possibility; because the Third Child was suspended from piloting due to the unique circumstances surrounding his situation, there had to be a way to make use of that particular Eva without having to worry about him.
Standing before the ruins of the blue Eva, the faux-blond woman considered the idea, but then remembered that they had two other Evangelions to choose from that had been completed in the States. With Unit-03 just as taboo as Unit-01, she felt they could use Unit-04 to replace Unit-00.
"I hope you people get what you deserve," she remembers the alternate Shinji saying before he died on the bridge from his injuries and complications.
It still seemed to haunt several people that were present that night whenever they see the actual Third Child with Shado. They saw someone who was timid and seemed like a gentle soul…and someone else who was a hardened soul that had gone through Hell everyday just to see a smile on his kid's face. They were never sure how to avoid going out and saying something that was bothersome and could traumatize the girl if she found out her actual father was dead.
He didn't even sound like his father, she thought as she examined the Entry Plug that had survived intact, minus the few dents and scrapes on it. He was concerned for his daughter, not for himself, and never knew that he was in a different universe or timeline. Would he have died with a different state of mind if he'd known that his daughter was alive and well?
She wasn't sure. There was no way to know for sure if the late Shinji Ikari would have died under different circumstances if he knew of the current situation regarding Shado Ikari. Even though they still had his remains, there was only so much they could do to access the secrets of the human brain. It was a labyrinth of secrets that hid in the deepest depths of comprehension.
-x-
Shado went back to sleep like a baby when Shinji laid her down on his futon. It had barely been three hours since the Angel appeared and was defeated, and she was a reminder that unlike the adults in their lives, Shado was not a hyperactive person when up late at night with no sugar or caffeine to keep her awake. Sitting beside the futon on the floor, Shinji wondered, since the most recent Angel was exactly as Shado had described it in her drawings, if the last three would be exactly as she had drawn for them to see. As the girl had put it, the Angel that was previously known as the Fourteenth Angel was part of the traumatic event that left her without her father for two days because the Eva had consumed him; the mere fact that Shado kept as tight a hold as she could on Shinji whenever faced with something or someone she perceived as a potential threat was a sign that, even if it had been a dream or a trick of the mind to some, she didn't want to go through with that horrible situation a second time. And quite personally, Shinji didn't want to experience this at all if it meant that the Eva was capable of consuming someone and keeping them inside it for longer than permitted.
The Thirteenth, Fourteenth and Seventeenth Angels, he wondered as he looked at his phone and scrolled through the individual drawings she had made of each of the Angels she had seen. If they were never to show up, NERV would never have to face them. But if they were never to show up, they would probably be on standby for the rest of our lives out of fear. Still, that is only if they were never to show up.
Still, there was something else that worried Shinji about what Shado had seen from her universe. It was this drawing she made that depicted this white being that appeared to be hanging from a large, red metal cross; she told him that they had run into the large room it was kept in in order to try and get away from Gendo when he was after them, trying to hurt them. There was something about it that Shinji was…bothered by, much more than the details she had been able recall with the other Angels. It was before the Twelfth Angel incident…and during the Twelfth Angel incident; with little recollection from the Third Angel aftermath, Shinji did feel a little…terrified of the very thing that people told him was to protect the human race from the threat of the Angels, but what was to protect the human race from the very thing meant to protect them from the Angels…when and if it became like the very threat they needed to be protected from?
What is NERV going to do with the Evas after the Angels are defeated? He wonders as he sets his phone down beside his right leg. What will NERV do with the Evas after the Angels are defeated? They can't possibly keep them around for later. I mean, it's unlikely they would. Who would want to? They're costly just to keep maintained. And if only people my age are able to pilot them, that's another dilemma…or rather, an immoral dilemma because of how they're made. They use people's mothers as their cores and then use people that have no mothers currently involved in their lives. That's exploitation in every sense of the word "inhumane"…and the people behind their creation know this to be true.
Shinji had never really thought about it until Asuka had revealed to him what she found out from her mother, but deep down, he had to have known that there were some really bad people in the world that pull the strings behind everything. Everything from big business behind alternate energy research to the distribution of food across the globe. The men and women that nobody knew anything about, the members of the top one percent, the people that like to take risks that everyone else pays for everyday of their own lives while they get to laugh it up and line their pockets with the blood and sweat of those that have to suffer. He doubted that he'd ever meet them, that he'd even want to meet them, but had to accept that there were those in the world that took a serious gamble with Second Impact and caused the rest of the world to lose what mattered to the people that had to endure before his and Shado's lives even began.
The world is full of people that can be cruel by choice, he thought as he turned to look back at the sleeping form of Shado, but there are those that aren't cruel by any measure and are worth living for.
-x-
"…Only three Angels remain," said SEELE 10 to the council, "if what we learned from the interactions with the girl are true."
"The original Thirteenth, Fourteenth and Seventeenth Angels," SEELE 06 states. "But which of them will appear next?"
"The Dead Sea Scrolls do not say in any way which messenger is which," SEELE 03 informs them, "but they clearly state that one of the messengers, the greatest of them, was meant to appear after a messenger that would attempt to offer up a blood sacrifice, causing lines to be crossed and a point of no return. I assume that this section of the scrolls was referring to the original Thirteenth and Fourteenth Angels of the girl's timeline."
"The compromised Unit-03 that Ikari put her inside of in an attempt to dispose of her as well as spite his son?" SEELE 10 suggested, since they had no definite understanding over why Gendo, at least in an alternate dimension, would do what he did to his own grandchild that made her see him as a monster.
"Whatever his motives were for attempting what he did to the girl, that's from a dimension we have no access to," SEELE 01 states. "However, Ikari is incapable of making any further decisions so long as he's incapacitated, meaning there is no way to know for sure if any of the Evangelions are compromised."
"Except that NERV has five Evangelions," SEELE 08 reminded, "three of which they're not using. That may change with Unit-00 sustaining extensive damage."
On a display in front of the holographic monoliths, the holographic displays of Shado's drawings of the Angels. And someone hit a button that switched to one of them depicting a boy with gray hair and red eyes.
"If the Third Child is suspended from piloting the Eva," SEELE 01 utters, "perhaps we can use his suspension to our advantage."
-x-
"…I'm surprised to find you up here, Shinji," went Misato as she found Shinji sitting on the roof of the building, looking out at the city. "Something on your mind?"
"Yeah," he answers her as he turns to face her before turning back to the city. "What will NERV do with the Evas once the Angels are defeated? There can't be more than seventeen Angels if what Shado learned over time is true here, right? Just because she's from an alternate universe where it seems the only difference there is her being in my life, that should be the only difference, right? Unless, there's more to what happened with the Twelfth Angel than even I know, right?"
Misato wanted to say that NERV would dispose of the Evas once the Angels were defeated, but then she'd likely be lying to Shinji if this turned out to be a lie. She didn't know what NERV planned to do with the Evas when and if the Angels were all defeated. And…she was still bothered by one of the drawings Shado had drawn of the giant held in Terminal Dogma…and how she came to see it. Even if it was only because Gendo had tried to kill her father and she in their universe, the girl had a memory like an elephant; her recall, even if slightly hindered by trauma, was next to unmatched.
"I don't know what NERV will do with the Evas later on," she told Shinji. "But…they can't consider keeping them as a nuclear deterrent after everything that's happened."
"If people my age are the resource necessary to keep them in use, I really can't imagine anyone that would actually choose to pilot the Eva after everything that's happened. If the technology behind it is in the hands of every country in the world, it's just another game that used to be warfare. When something goes wrong, when one country decides to pick a fight with another country, either for land or resources, don't drop a bomb. Just send in the Evas."
Misato found this to be ridiculous, but within the realm of possibility. Just the mere fact that NERV had possession of five Evangelions practically made the paramilitary agency a virtual military power. If they had operational authority over five or even four of the Evas, they could threaten to take the world if they wanted to, which didn't seem far from possible. But it was true that NERV needed pilots to operate them…unless Ritsuko's autopilot system made the use of children obsolete. And even that seemed to be something Shado's father had some awareness of that left a negative impact on him.
He found out about the Dummy System…and despised just as much as he despised his father and the rest of us, she thought with some bitterness.
To be continued…
A/N: Uh-oh! What do you think will happen later on? The conversation between Shinji, Shado and Rei seemed good, and Shado gave Rei a new designation to replace her perception of her; instead of being the Ghost Girl, she's Yuki-San or Ms. Snow, both of which reflect her appearance but from different angles of perception. In a way, Rei didn't become the Ghost Girl for the second time in front of Shado, so Shado gave her a designation to replace her previous one. And now SEELE is likely going to do something to upset the small peace that exists in Tokyo-3 and the ease of which Shinji finds himself with dealing with Shado.