Chapter 26: Anvil

Consciousness came back to her slowly, painfully, like massaging a limb that had fallen asleep. Hanako took inventory of her stiff neck, the pain in her temples, her dry mouth, before finally making an effort to pry her eyelids open.

She was lying in what almost looked like a tanning bed, minus the glowing lights. Sensation trickled down to the rest of her body, and she flexed her fingers to get some feeling back in them.

A dull panic lurched through her. What am I doing here?

"Yukimura?"

A face appeared at the edge of her vision, framed by blonde hair. It took her a minute to recall the name associated with that face. Sonia. She looked different, somehow, but she couldn't put her finger on what exactly had changed.

At least there was someone familiar. Someone who could explain what the hell was going on.

Gingerly, she tried to sit up, and white sparks flooded her vision. Someone braced a hand against her shoulder and helped her the rest of the way.

"Easy, there."

That sounded like Hajime. Hanako put her head in her hands and waited for the world to stop spinning.

"How do you feel?" Sonia asked after a long silence.

"Really fucking weird." Her voice was raspy and barely recognizable.

"Here."

She cracked one eye open and realized Hajime was holding out a plastic cup of water. She drained it in tentative sips, her muscles stiff and clumsy as if she'd just woken from a long nap.

The memories jolted into place.

The warehouse.

Nagito.

The knife.

One hand splayed against her stomach, but there was no blood, no pain—no evidence that she'd ever been cut open in the first place. Adrenaline flooded through her so quickly it made her dizzy. She tried to stand, but her arms trembled as soon as she tried to put her weight onto them.

"It's all right." Sonia put her hands out to stop her, though she couldn't make it more than an inch off the ground. "You're safe, Yukimura."

"But we were…" She blinked rapidly. Just that small amount of exertion had been enough to fill her vision with stars. "What happened with the bombs? I was in the warehouse, Komaeda was there, he got me with a knife and I…" Her skin went cold. "I thought I was going to die. I thought I did die."

"You're not entirely incorrect," Sonia said. "This will require a rather lengthy explanation, but I promise you that we are all safe. Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable?"

Hanako tucked her arms against her stomach and looked around the room. It looked like something out of a sci-fi movie with its curved walls and sleek black veneer. The weird pod thing she was in was connected to a number of wires and tubes.

"Are we, like, in space or something?"

Sonia let out a musical laugh, and she relaxed a little. She'd missed that sound. "We are on Earth, I assure you. We're on Jabberwock Island." Her expression grew hesitant. "How much do you remember of the island?"

Goosebumps rose on her arms, and she clutched at her sleeve to ground herself. "I remember waking up on the beach. The killing game." Her throat tightened. "We lost a lot of people. Komaeda threatened to blow up the island, and we were looking for the bombs. I ended up in the warehouse where he was setting up something, and we fought. He cut my stomach open. I remember trying to get to the door before I bled out."

Sonia exchanged a glance with Hajime, who had been observing her silently for most of the conversation. "It seems you've retained all of your memories. That's a good sign."

Hanako pressed her hand to her stomach again, probing for stitches through the thin fabric of her hospital gown. She was tempted to ask them to look away so she could lift up the hem and check. "If we're still on the island, then who patched me up?"

"There is no wound," Sonia said. "Yukimura, what do you know about virtual reality?"

She blinked at the sudden change in subject. "You mean those geeky headsets that people wear to play games?"

"Similar to that. Though the device does not have to be a headset. Everything we experienced on Jabberwock Island, or what we perceived as Jabberwock Island, was part of a virtual reality simulation."

"A virtual…" An incredulous laugh escaped her. "Yeah, right."

"This is advanced technology, decades beyond what would have been available to the public," Hajime said. "Think about everything you saw that didn't seem real. The Monobeasts. Monokuma appearing out of nowhere. The Despair Disease. It was all part of a simulation."

Hanako chewed on her lower lip. "It felt real."

"It was designed to be that way. You died in the warehouse in the simulation, and your brain perceived that as a real, physical death. You've been in a coma for the past few months."

"Okay." She shook her head to clear it. She would have thought months of uninterrupted sleep would have made her feel less exhausted. "I'll just go along with the simulation idea for now. Why the fuck would someone do that to us? Put us in a situation where we have to kill each other?"

There was a moment of silence in which she looked back and forth between Sonia's apprehensive expression and Hajime's impassive one.

"Do you guys even know?"

"Yes." Sonia nodded once, sharply. "We were able to uncover the truth of our situation after you passed. This part was rather difficult for all of us to accept, so please let me know if you need some time to think, or if you have any questions."

Wearily, Hanako nodded for her to continue.

The two of them took turns explaining everything that had transpired during the gap in their memories. They were missing four years, it turned out. A couple of those years had been normal. They'd all attended Hope's Peak Academy together, before the Tragedy. Before the world fell apart at their hands.

"The simulation was meant to rehabilitate us, but it was infected with a virus that turned it into a killing game," Sonia said, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She flicked her eyes in Hajime's direction without moving her head. "I believe that covers all of the major details."

Hanako wasn't sure if they expected her to gasp or cry or deny any of it. What exactly was she supposed to feel upon learning that she was a terrorist responsible for the apocalypse?

"I imagine you must have many questions."

She pressed her fingers to her eyelids. She didn't want to think about any of it hard enough to come up with a question.

"So this is actual Jabberwock Island? Like the tourist destination?"

"It was turned into a headquarters for the Future Foundation, and was abandoned for years before that, but yes. This is one hundred percent real."

"Is there any beer?"

Her question was met with silence. When she looked up, Sonia and Hajime were having another silent conversation.

Sonia turned to her with a tentative smile. "I believe I have something better." She stood up, smoothed her skirt, and left the room.

"Vodka?" Hanako propped her elbow on her knee and rubbed her brow.

She finally noticed her arms.

Her tattoos were still there, the same patterns and colors she knew just as well as her own name, but most of them had been…crossed out. Ruined.

Her skin was a mess of scars now, haphazard hash marks and messy kanji ripping open the beautiful designs she'd inked onto her flesh.

Her vision blurred.

"What…?" She ran one hand down her arm, trying to wipe away the marks. She dug her fingernails into one of the ridges, trying to peel it off, and Hajime grabbed her hand.

"Stop. You're gonna hurt yourself."

"Why are my arms like this?" Her breaths were coming faster. She bent to look at her calves and found them in a similar state. "Oh my god. What the fuck? Why…Why—?"

Hajime took her other hand and held them in front of her. "Look at me."

Dizzily, she raised her eyes to meet his, and noticed for the first time that one of his irises was red. Something like deja vu pricked the back of her mind. Her hands began to tremble in his grasp.

"You're okay. Just breathe in. And out."

She did as he asked and tried not to think about how wrong this all felt. As she counted through her breathing, the realization trickled in like ice water.

"I did this to myself, didn't I?" she said, and the tears started before she'd finished the question.

"You're not the only one," Hajime said, and let her pull her hands away so she could dry her face.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Instead of responding, he stood and went to the other side of the room. He came back with a gray sweater and handed it to her.

It had clearly had a previous owner—there was pilling on the sleeves and it smelled a little musty, but Hanako still pulled it on and wrapped it tight around her torso. She sniffled and dragged the rough fabric over her eyes.

"Why did you guys even wake me up if it was going to be like this?"

"Hey." Hajime waited until she looked at him again. "No one was physically hurt during the killing game. Do you understand what that means?"

One hand drifted to her stomach, to the wound that didn't exist. The realization hit just as the door opened.

Sonia stepped into the room, smiling, and moved aside to let a second person enter.

Hanako gasped and lurched out of the pod. Hajime caught her before she could keel over, and she wobbled out of his grip and across the room.

Ibuki squealed and flung both arms around her neck, spinning both of them around in a clumsy circle. Hanako clung to her, only partly because she wasn't sure she could stand on her own.

"Oh my god, it's really you," she said, her voice thick with tears. "You're here."

"In the flesh, baby." Ibuki squeezed her. "You've been keeping me waiting, you know?"

"I'm sorry," she said, and then she was crying again. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know what Tsumiki was going to do, I swear, or I wouldn't have left you. I had a plan to fix things but I was too much of a fucking pussy to go through with it until it was too late and I—"

Ibuki pulled back, her expression uncharacteristically concerned. "You didn't do anything wrong, sweetie."

This only made her cry harder. A second later, her knees buckled.

"I did everything wrong," she said as Ibuki grabbed her waist and struggled to keep her upright. "I fucked up. I fucked everything up."

A set of wheels squeaked behind her, and Ibuki lowered her into a wheelchair. Hanako realized she was shaking, her hands trembling uselessly in her lap. Ibuki knelt in front of her and squeezed both of her hands.

"You're gonna break my heart if you cry, Hanako. Everything's okay, now. You're here." She smiled in relief, like she'd been the one missing Hanako and not the other way around.

It felt like she'd entered some sort of insane alternate reality, where things were somehow worse than before and her skin was ruined and she was still alive despite her best efforts. How could Ibuki exist in that kind of reality?

Her head swam. Someone put a hand on her shoulder to keep her upright in the wheelchair.

"Let's move this to the infirmary," Hajime said. "She needs fluids."

"At least ten percent alcohol by volume." Hanako propped her head in her hand, feeling slightly delirious. "If I don't have a drink in my hand in five minutes I'm putting myself back into a coma."

Ibuki stood up and laughed. "That's my party gal! I'll get you to the med bay right away!"

"Perhaps you could help me in the kitchenette instead," Sonia said before Ibuki could grab the wheelchair. "I believe you know more about Yukimura's food preferences than I do." She let out a little gasp. "I'm sorry! What a thoughtless thing to say."

"Don't worry about it," Hanako said. It wasn't Sonia's fault she'd barely eaten after Ibuki had died.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ibuki's concerned look, and occupied herself with dragging her sleeve across her face.

"Let us know if you need anything, Hinata," Sonia said before leading Ibuki out of the room.

Hajime pushed her wheelchair into the hallway, and Hanako squeezed her eyes shut. She felt just as weak and woozy as she had during her last days in the simulation.

When she opened her eyes again, they were in a small infirmary, just big enough for two beds and a workbench. The sight of the room made her skin crawl, but she didn't protest as Hajime helped her out of the wheelchair and into one of the beds. She flopped back against the pillow, nearly out of breath.

Hajime retrieved an IV stand and a bag of fluid and began setting up the apparatus. She watched him work, his movements swift and precise like he'd done this a thousand times before.

"You get a medical degree while I was asleep?" she croaked.

"Something like that." He tore open the package for an alcohol wipe, pushed up her sleeve, and swiped it over the bend of her elbow. As soon as the smell hit her nose, her adrenaline spiked.

Mikan's breath in her ear. The pinch of elastic. Euphoria spiraling through her limbs.

She clamped a hand over her arm and tucked it against her side. Her fingers brushed against scar tissue and she shivered.

"It's okay." Hajime held out his hand. "You can look away if you want. You won't even feel the needle go in."

Some buried instinct told her to scream, to hop off the bed and find a weapon. She took a deep breath and waited for the urge to quiet itself.

"Sorry. I'm not even scared of needles. Obviously. I don't know what that was."

She stretched her arm out, but he didn't touch it.

"Your body's going to remember what happened before your brain does," he said. "It's normal to have reactions you don't understand."

"But the memories are going to come back?"

"Gradually. The memory suppression was continually reinforced while you were in the simulation, but now that you're awake its effects will begin to recede."

He reached for her arm, but she pulled away again. She had the sudden urge to slap him. She didn't understand why he was acting so detached, like he hadn't been in the simulation with the rest of them.

"What happened to you?"

Hajime set the alcohol wipe down on the bedside table and didn't meet her eyes.

"I mean, you were in the Reserve Course, right?" she continued. "You weren't with the rest of us when everything…"

"Do you know the name Izuru Kamukura?"

Hanako shrugged. "It sounds kind of familiar."

He pulled over a stool and sat beside the bed. "He was the founder of Hope's Peak Academy. There was a research team at the school working on a project named after him. They wanted to see if it was possible to create talent in a person with no talent."

She crossed her arms over her stomach, figuring she was safe from the IV for the moment. "You volunteered for the project?"

Hajime nodded.

"So they gave you a talent." She relaxed a little. It was an answer, at least, even if it spawned a dozen other questions. "What was it? Ultimate Doctor?"

"Everything."

"Everything," she repeated, and blinked. "What does that mean?"

He finally looked at her, his red eye shining in the light from the bedside lamp. "Every talent the researchers could synthesize, they gave to me. Ultimate Nurse. Ultimate Computer Programmer. Ultimate Soldier." He paused. "Ultimate Tattoo Artist."

"So you could do my back," Hanako said without knowing why her brain had latched onto that particular idea. "I'd been putting off getting anything major on my back because I couldn't do it myself and I didn't trust anyone else to get it right. But I guess you could."

"Yeah," Hajime said, his expression unreadable. "I could do that for you."

Something in his voice made her want to cry. She raised her eyes to the ceiling to distract herself. "So we were classmates after all."

"No. I never made contact with any of you until the simulation."

She turned to face him again and frowned. "Then how'd you end up here with us?"

For the first time since waking up, she saw a flash of uncertainty, a glimpse of the old Hajime that she hadn't realized she'd missed so much. It was gone a second later, and he held her gaze as he spoke.

"I came to the island so I could start the killing game."

Hanako was still awake when Ibuki came to visit her late that night. She watched her open and close the door with comical slowness before tip-toeing over to the bed.

Ibuki pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh."

Despite the knot sitting in her chest like a bowling ball, Hanako smiled and rolled onto her side. "What's up?"

"Ibuki brought something for you." She hopped onto the stool by the bed and held out her palm.

Hanako took the small object and held it up so she could see it better. "A single Hi-Chew. I will treasure it always."

"It's strawberry." She swiveled side to side on the stool. "We're kinda low on snack foods and we're technically supposed to be making stuff last until the Future Foundation sends more food, but I figured what the heck?"

Hanako had only half-listened to everything she'd said after "strawberry," memories of pink and green and screaming into the dark overwhelming her. She glanced out the window, just to remind herself that she could go outside if she wanted to.

Ibuki stopped swiveling, sensing her discomfort. "Hinata wants to keep you on a strict diet until you're cleared to leave the central island. Probably shouldn't have broken the rules, even if he's not here. It's like he knows everything these days, it's a little creepy. Also, if you don't want it, that's cool beans too—"

"Hey." Hanako put the candy on the bedside table and grabbed her hand. "You don't have to bring me stuff. I'm happy to just see you."

"Even thought you totally freaked in the sim room?"

Hot shame washed over her. She stared at their joined hands, slightly swaying between them. "That had nothing to do with you. I was just fucked up over…you know."

"Dying's not as fun as it looks in the movies. I was pretty freaked when I woke up, too." She let out a small, nervous laugh.

Hanako snuck a glance at her face. Ibuki Mioda, Ultimate Despair. She couldn't picture it. Or maybe she could, if she thought about it. A firework, glittering and beautiful, raining hellfire on its descent.

"Everyone's doing better, though. The hotel's pretty beat up, but everyone moved back into their old cottages. It's kind of like camping. And we have these weekly meetings like we're a Mini Diet or something."

Ibuki rambled on about their new life, how Teruteru was working magic on the rations they managed to scrounge up, how Kazuichi was fixing up a fleet of speedboats, how not-actually-Byakuya was super cool and Hanako needed to hang out with them as soon as she got back to the first island.

Hanako listened and waited, but Ibuki didn't mention the one person she'd been dreading hearing about. Instead of asking directly, she said, "Was I the last one to wake up?"

"Almost. Komaeda's still under. And, um." She shifted on the stool. "I don't know if anyone told you about Nanami."

"Hinata did." Hanako curled her fingers tighter around Ibuki's. Learning about Nagito's death was one thing, but knowing that Chiaki was gone without having a chance to say goodbye, knowing that she'd never really been, was one of the many things keeping her awake tonight. "I kind of want a whole week to just sit and process this."

"We got time." With her free hand, Ibuki brushed a lock of hair away from Hanako's cheek. "Just take it easy, 'kay? I'll take care of you, just like you took care of me in the hospital."

"How much do you remember of that?"

She scratched her chin. "It's a little hazy, but all of it, I guess. Everything felt really new and it was, like, really easy to trust people. It wasn't that bad, up until." Her grip faltered. "Yeah."

The ache in her chest sharpened. "I'm sorry for lying to you."

Ibuki blinked. "About what?"

"I promised you we'd go on tour and watch fireworks and all that crap, and I didn't believe a word I was saying. I just wanted to make you feel better." She glanced out the window at the hazy sky. "I don't think that'd even be possible now, anyways."

"I guess it's the thought that counts." There was a hesitation in Ibuki's voice she couldn't parse, but it drove the knife deeper.

"I really wish things hadn't gone down the way they did." She struggled into a sitting position. "Even if none of it was real, I should've handled things better. I should've stopped Tsumiki." Her throat tightened, and she looked down at her lap as her eyes welled up. "If this really is the real world, then we don't get any second chances here. And if something were to happen to you—"

"Aw, babe, don't get hung up over that." Ibuki climbed onto the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "Tsumiki and I worked things out. She's not a danger to anyone. Besides, she was sick like me, you know?"

Hanako was glad Ibuki couldn't see her face, couldn't see the vengeance building in her. Mikan hadn't just been sick. She'd remembered. She was no different now than she had been in the simulation. She might have fooled some of the others, but Hanako knew better.

"If you really need to hear it, then I forgive you too." Ibuki bumped their heads together lightly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I mean it."

I won't forgive myself. I won't let things go the same way again.

She placed a hand over Ibuki's and took a deep breath. They were here together. Things were okay tonight, at least.

"I can stay with you while you sleep," Ibuki said.

"Okay."

The hospital bed was a little cramped with two people in it, but they made it work, pressed together like they had been that night in the simulation. Maybe there had been more nights like this that she couldn't remember yet. Maybe there were memories worth regaining, a few shreds of happiness before everything went to shit.

She lay there until Ibuki was asleep, her fingers twitching slightly with whatever dream she was having. Hanako hoped it was a good one.

She untangled their limbs carefully, slowly, and sat up. She pulled the IV out of her arm, pressed the tape back over her skin, and slipped out of the room.

The hallway outside was unnervingly quiet and dimly lit. The walls were an unassuming white plaster, rough against her skin as she leaned against them to keep her balance. She used the infirmary window as her reference and kept walking until she was outside.

The building was apparently located on the central island, where the park had been in the simulation. The ring of trees surrounding the building looked different, like years had passed since she'd last set foot here. In her mind, it had only been a day, even though she'd been asleep for months, and in reality she'd never actually stood here and taken in this view, had she?

Her head hurt.

She made her way down to the beach on shaky legs, pieces of debris poking the soles of her bare feet. She sat in the sand with her hospital gown tucked over her knees, pulled down to her ankles, her sweater wrapped around her torso.

The water lapped at the shore invitingly. It would be cold at this time of night. A shock to the system. Maybe that would be enough to get rid of the crawling sensation on her skin. The water would make her feel clean for just a little bit.

Before she could make the decision to rise, the sand behind her shifted with the weight of a footstep. She spun around, then looked up. Hajime seemed taller than she remembered. Had they increased his height when they'd turned him into Izuru Kamukura?

"Do you want company?" he asked.

She turned back to the sea. She wanted Hajime. She wanted the boy who never knew the right thing to say but tried anyway. Not the one who spoke like a doctor and a politician and a computer rolled into one.

But he'd still sought her out. She patted the spot next to her, then shook out the sand that had gone up her sleeve.

Hajime sat beside her and they watched the waves in silence.

"It smells different than it did on the fake island," Hanako said after a while.

"Pollution, mostly." Hajime rested his forearms on his knees. "It's better here than the mainland."

She tried to imagine what the mainland looked like right now. Waters thick and oily with pollution. Skyscrapers charred and cracked from explosives. A sky black with smoke.

Hanako dragged her hands over her face. Grains of sand scratched her cheeks. "Do we have a plan? Like, in general?"

"We need to wake everyone up first. Komaeda's the only one left. Whatever comes next is partially contingent on the Future Foundation. They've been sending us supplies, but that's not going to stay unconditional."

"So, more waiting for the other shoe to fall."

"This isn't like the simulation. Things are going to be harder now, but we're going to decide what we want to do. I'm going to make sure of it."

There was a bit of the old Hajime in that last part. Her chest ached with something that might have been fondness or nostalgia.

"You still wish we didn't wake you up?" he asked.

Hanako looked away and took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Look, that last day in the simulation was a shitshow. I was terrified. I didn't know what was going to happen with the bombs, if any of you were going to make it out alive. I didn't want to die, but at least that was certain. And then it turns out I didn't actually die, and things are actually worse than we thought. And you'd still ask me to keep going?"

"I would."

"Okay."

Hajime looked her over. "That's it? Just 'okay?'"

"I'm putting my trust in you. I guess that's the one thing that didn't change." She tried and failed to meet his eyes. "I lost my faith right there at the end, and look what happened."

She expected him to say something along the lines of What happened wasn't your fault, but he only gave her a considering glance.

"We never figured out exactly what happened in the warehouse. We knew enough to vote correctly in the end, but there were a lot of assumptions we had to make."

She started playing with a loose thread on her sweater. "What about the surveillance cameras? You couldn't play back the feed or whatever once you got out?"

His voice dropped in volume. "I didn't. I knew it would be hard to watch."

It sank in that he'd found her body. Her friends had found her in a pool of her own blood, assuming that was how Nagito had left her. Probably not. Her stomach turned just thinking about it. If she was inclined, she could walk back inside and watch a replay of her own death.

"God, there's really footage of all the shit that happened in there?"

"I'm thinking about deleting it."

"Probably for the best." She exhaled and wished for the billionth time that night that she had a cigarette. "I was going to kill Komaeda. There was a split second when I genuinely thought I could do it. I wanted to."

"What stopped you?"

"I knew if I became the blackened, I'd have to face you all. You'd see that I gave up trying to get out. And then Komaeda got me with the knife. If I had to go back to that moment I don't know what I'd do." She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. "I had a chance to stop him, and I didn't take it."

"He did end the killing game. I don't know if we would have gotten out at all if he hadn't gone through with his plan." His voice was layered with bitterness and amusement and something else she didn't recognize.

"Well, we should throw him a big thank-you party once he wakes up." She pulled her knees closer to her chest. "That'll be fun to deal with."

Hajime let out a sigh through his nose and massaged the skin between his brows. "One thing at a time, okay?"

She hummed an agreement. "Some things haven't changed, at least."

"Oh, yeah?"

She glanced at him with a small, wry smile. "We're still a pair of insomniacs."

"You have no idea," he said, and they shared a brief, weary laugh.

"Maybe that's something we could figure out together."

Hajime nodded, his gaze on the shifting sea. From this angle, she could only see his red eye, but it didn't unnerve her as much as it had earlier that day. He was still her friend. She still trusted him.

They still had a future ahead of them. Maybe she could try counting on that.

This chapter is titled after Anvil by Lorn, a bittersweet song to wrap up this story.

Thank you to everyone for reading! I had a lot of fun writing this and it was a nice intro into writing Dangan fic. I wanted to wrap things up in this last chapter but still leave things open-ended because Hanako and the others still have a ways to go to reach a potential happy ending. Maybe I'll continue Hanako's story in the future.

I do have another DR story (different AU) I want to work on after this one, but it needs a monster of an outline so I don't have anything to post yet. But keep an eye on my profile for when I do post it!