Hisashi falls in love on an unseasonably cold day in September.

He's never been a stranger to strong emotions. In fact, some would argue that he feels too much. But the moment it happens he feels made new. Every question he's asked himself over the past few days, months, years has an unequivocal answer. The world seems just a little brighter, with saturated colors where he could only see in muted tones. Maybe, he decides, all of his missteps were destined to lead him to this one moment.

And almost immediately after he has this realization, it all comes crashing down.

Because even without their shared history or the tentative formation of their shaky friendship, there wasn't a chance that Miyagi Ryota would ever love him back.

It wasn't that Hisashi fully accepted who he was – his inclinations, his feelings, his quiet shame – but he knew where he stood. He liked men. He wanted to hold and be held by men. Women were an obligation he would eventually have to bow to, for the sake of family and not being a complete social outcast as an adult.

(And still, calling himself…gay. The word stuck to his teeth. The finality of putting it into real words, instead of the nasty ones Tetsuo would throw at him while pulling his hair and fucking him open. It felt impossible.)

With everything he's been through over the last few years, it was only natural that Hisashi would fall for a straight boy on top of it. Not even slowly, achingly, but all at once.

They're alone in the gym. In all honesty, they're not supposed to be in there that day. It's still too early for the school to turn on the heat and with the chill in the air, the building is far too cold. Hisashi needs to move his body though. If he stays still too long, his knee aches and pulls in the worst ways. It's a different kind of hurt than last year's. He needs as much practice as he can get, too, especially if he wants a recommendation and a scholarship.

He figures Miyagi must feel the same way; he opened the gym with no complaints and didn't immediately scurry off to catch up with Ayako. Since nationals and taking Akagi's place as captain, he's taken on an almost entirely different personality – more responsible, authoritative. It's a mix of admirable and annoying.

(Maybe even a little bit sexy…)

For the first hour or so, they don't talk. Hisashi keeps to one half of the gym, focusing on plyometrics while Miyagi is on the other, shooting from different lines. They have different things to work on, it's easier to be parallel than to practice together.

Miyagi is the first to break the silence, likely obligated considering his position on the team. "What schools are you looking at?" He doesn't turn away from the basket. Hisashi can hear the ball strike the rim and bounce to the ground.

"There's one in Osaka…the guidance department things that if I can get a recommendation and buckle down for this last stretch, I have a good chance."

"Osaka is far. Not Tokyo?"

"It's not that far. It's just a few hours away by train."

"That's true."

The ball hits the backboard this time. When it falls, it rolls to Miyagi's feet.

Seconds pass like hours in the cold, still air of the gym. Delicate. Fragile.

Miyagi's voice is quiet, detached, "I want to go far away too…"

Years from now, Hisashi will understand the weight of these words. The history that spun them into creation, the loss, and the emotional wounds that will never fully heal. At this very second, though, he can only take them at face value. "Back to Okinawa?" He asks, stupidly.

If Miyagi flinches, Hisashi barely notices it. He knows Miyagi recently went back, assumably to visit family. He vaguely considers if that's a contribution to his recent attitude shift, because he's found a school back home to reach for.

"Nah," Miyagi finally answers, still not turning to face Hisashi. "Maybe someday, maybe not. There's nothing to really go back to." He reaches down for the ball and dribbles it a few times. "I'm thinking out loud. I had to fill out a stupid career survey today. Everyone's going to be down my throat about university or work before I know it." He takes another shot and mumbles "goddammit" when it hits the rim.

"Use your knees more, you're not putting enough power into it."

"Yeah, I'm trying."

"I think you're worrying too much. Akagi still managed to get into his top choice even though we lost. You can get into any school you want."

"It's not about that. If you go to Osaka, you're leaving behind everything here, it's a clean break."

"Yeah, so?"

"'So?' Isn't that the point? It doesn't matter what your reputation is here or what happened in the past. A whole new start and you got to decide on it all by yourself. You should be excited."

And yeah, in a way Hisashi is excited. No one in Osaka will know of his shitty, petty attitude or the awful things he's done. But that's never been the point of any of this. He wrinkles his nose and insists, "I just want to keep playing basketball."

Something about that must be funny, because Miyagi chuckles. He turns enough to look at Hisashi directly, a half-smile playing across his face. The sunlight from the gym windows halos across his tan skin, making the shiny silver of his earring clitter with it, along with something wet in the corner of one of his eyes.

Hisashi's heart jumps to his throat, while his hands and knees go numb beneath him. He's felt attraction before; he knows what it's like to find someone physically pleasing to look at, to want to kiss them, or have sex with them. Except, this is the first time he's wondered what it would be like to reach out and hold on tightly. Peel back both their layers and shed their skin until all that's left is the very core. This must be what love is because it's so much all at once and Hisashi no longer wants to know what life would be without it.

Miyagi's voice is clear and steady, unaware of the damage he's doing to Hisashi's world. "I should have expected that from a basketball freak like you."

He wants to swipe back with a snippy comment and bring the atmosphere back to normal. "You're one to talk, you're as bad as I am." The words are stuck in his throat.

Miyagi turns his attention back to the ball in his hands and the basket. He lifts his arms and shoots, letting out a satisfied huff when the ball swooshes through the net. "Took long enough, fuck."

The gym feels too cold. His knee hurts, but the pit of his stomach hurts even worse. Hisashi doesn't want to practice anymore.


There are more ways they wouldn't work out than excuses Hisashi could make up to justify that they would. Some are simple: they're teammates, their families and friends wouldn't approve, Ryota is hopelessly stuck on Ayako. Others are bigger, more pressing.

Hisashi and his friends put Ryota in the hospital. Even though he doesn't remember hitting him so hard and his friends swore they didn't do that much damage while he was knocked out, it still happened. He was out long enough to miss the last few months of his first year and scars still littered parts of his body. Worser still, Hisashi came back for revenge and knocked out one of his teeth.

And yes, Ryota knocked out Hisashi's teeth too – but the first time was arguably self defense and the second was more of an accident. And even though Ryota was able to save his tooth and Hisashi's parents help foot the dental bill, he still feels like he never fully made up for everything. It doesn't matter if Ryota himself has said it's all water under the bridge now.

Hisashi is damaged goods. He throws himself into self-destructive fits if he doesn't get his way, he can't do certain things for himself, so he manipulates other people into doing his dirty work; childish, impulsive, and just an absolute fuckup. He isn't even sure why his friends stick by him. Why would Ryota pick him when he could have anyone better? Girls their age are shallow, they have absolutely no idea what they're missing out on for him to be rejected so much.

Also, he has the wrong equipment between his legs. His self-hatred isn't even the number one issue on his list. He can get over that, eventually, but he can't rip his dick off that easily.

All that means is that he's left holding onto his stupid feelings for the rest of his high school career, hiding behind a veneer of petulance and making things harder than they need to be for Miyagi-the-captain to keep his feelings for Ryota-his-crush under lock and key. Miyagi is more than a little irritated with his attitude, but since Hisashi is his upperclassman, he can't make as big of a stink about it as he really wants to. They hang out less as a result of his bratty behavior and because Hisashi is busy pretending he's trying to pull his grades up.


Shohoku makes it to the Winter Invitational by the skin of their teeth. Thankfully they aren't placed in a hard bracket, so they make it two more rounds than they did during the summer, but still fall short of the semi-finals. Sakuragi is still healing from his back injury and not having Akagi as their center really impacts them. Hisashi is convinced it's mostly his fault because his synergy with Miyagi is off, even though he still plays a better game than he has in a long time.

Osaka University offers him a recommendation two weeks later, while they likely won't put him in the starting lineup for his first year and they don't offer any financial aid, they still want him there. Hisashi's parents have never hurt for money and they're happy that he's actually going to school instead of becoming a layabout. They're probably glad to be able to get rid of him for a majority of the year. There's a lot of comments about "not screwing this up" and "this is your second chance", and deep down he knows they've only been worried about him this whole time.

The rest of the team continues to practice through the winter. Hisashi joins them sometimes, but his focus turns to going to the gym on his own time to keep building back his stamina and occasional trips to Osaka to get ready for the next year. Miyagi probably does a better job leading the team without him breathing down the back of his neck, anyway. Kogure and Akagai are around if he really needs help.

January and February pass in the blink of an eye, and before he knows it it's March. Graduation is bittersweet, while also a welcome relief. Even with the triumphs, his time at Shohoku has mostly been marked with downfalls. He vows to himself that he'll do better in Osaka, even if things don't go according to plan.

He's supposed to go home and finish packing, and then go to dinner with his parents. He and his dad have rented a truck to bring his stuff to his new apartment near campus. He's already said most of his goodbyes in the days before, with only a few people left unseen. Miyagi is one. Hisashi hasn't been avoiding him, it just hasn't worked out.

Which means he isn't looking for Miyagi when he makes his way over to the gymnasium. Unless he's allowed to visit, it will likely be the last time he steps inside the building, and he wants to imprint it in his memory. Despite everything, it's sentimental. So much has happened to him within these four walls even after spending so long trying to run away from their confines. He'll never be the person he was before Shohoku again, frankly, he doesn't want to.

"Hey, we don't have practice today. We're taking a break until the new semester starts."

Hisashi looks over his shoulder.

There's Miyagi, standing in the doorway with that smug look on his face and his arms crossed.

"Akagi wouldn't approve of such a long break."

"Well, I'm in charge now." Miyagi's sneakers squeak as he walks over to Hisashi. "Coach wants us to focus on finals and not overexert ourselves. Doesn't mean we can't play on our own time. You up for a last one-on-one match?"

Hisashi considers it for a second. He wants to, he really does, but being in the same room as Miyagi still feels too fresh. Maybe a few weeks in a different prefecture will make his feelings cool down. He'll find a hookup to distract himself and they can go back to being friends. "I'll pass," he lies. "I need to get going soon."

"Why have you been avoiding me? I didn't do anything to piss you off this much."

"I'm not avoiding you. I've been busy."

"Bullshit." Miyagi grabs his arm and forcibly turns Hisashi to look at him. He stands up straighter and pulls so they can look each other in the eye.

It's so close and Miyagi – Ryota is all up in his space. He's handsome from a distance, but up close he's gorgeous. High cheekbones, soft lips, half-lidded eyes. How has all of this gone unnoticed for so long? Why hasn't anyone dropped to their knees for this man?

Hisashi's heart beats like a drum, pounding so hard against his ribs that he wouldn't be surprised if his chest exploded and spewed blood everywhere right then. His breath hitches, "I…I'm not…" his throat tightens and he can't get the words out.

"Spit it out."

His control crumbles away with that authoritative voice. Fuck, he's always been weak for guys that can push their weight around. Hisashi surges forward, pressing his closed lips against Ryota's. In terms of kisses, it's awful. It's too forceful and the angle is all wrong. Ryota's never done this before and here's Hisashi stealing away his first kiss.

Ryota's hand drops from Hisashi's arm and he moves back. Hisashi is afraid that he'll pull away completely, so he quickly reaches up to cup Ryota's cheeks and press further into the kiss. When Ryota gasps at the contact, Hisashi doesn't hesitate to slide his tongue inside.

Instead of pushing Hisashi away and decking him, Ryota appears to relax into it. Once Hisashi's tongue starts tracing his own, he attempts to kiss back. Their teeth clack and it rattles through Hisashi's skull. But who cares? This is what he's wanted for so long and Ryota's inexperience sends heat radiating through his body.

Hisashi only pulls away when Ryota's hands start tugging at the hem of his jacket. They're both panting, trying to fill their lungs with air again. Hisashi's half hard in his pants; he wants to lean back down for another kiss or whisper in Ryota's ear that they should take this somewhere more private…intimate.

Except Ryota's hands leave Hisashi's jacket and he takes a step back. His lips are wet and just a little red from the force of the kiss. He clears his throat, and tries to starts, "Uh…Mitsui…um, Mitsui-san…" His eyes shift downward, unable to look him in the face.

Dread crawls through Hisashi's chest with the realization of what just happened. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to be any way. This was all Hisashi's problem to get over on his own without ever involving Ryo-Miyagi. They couldn't be more than friends and now, because of Hisashi screwing up once again, they couldn't even be that anymore.

Knowing there isn't any way he could make things worse, Hisashi doesn't even try to explain. He just pushes his way past Miyagi and runs out of the gym.


Hisashi leaves for Osaka the next morning. He hates unfinished business, but he hates himself even more. He spends his entire first year at university with his head buried in books or with the basketball team. As long as he keeps himself focused on more important things, he doesn't have to think about Shohoku, Miyagi, or that stupid kiss in the gym ever again.

If there's any news about Shohoku's place in any of the national tournaments, he's blissfully unaware.

He only has sex once when he comes back to visit for New Year, but letting Tetsuo rough him up doesn't satisfy him the same way it used to. It might be because they're both different people now. It might be because Hisashi can only think about how soft Ryota's lips were and how warm his skin felt in his hands.


A year-and-a-half after moving to Osaka, Kogure and Akagi invite him to a reunion in Kanagawa. Hisashi feels like they're trying to be sneaky, because they know the bare bones of Hisashi's predicament. Maybe they figure if they can get Hisashi and Miyagi in the same room, they'll at least start talking again and be civil with each other.

When he arrives at the bar, however, Miyagi is the only one not in attendance. No one brings it up the entire night, so Hisashi must be the only one that's in the dark.

He gets tipsy enough to lose his self-control and corners Yasuda in the bathroom for answers mid-way into the night.

Yasuda looks a little uncomfortable, and Hisashi wonders if Miyagi told him about that afternoon in the gym but doesn't hesitate to give him answers. "Ryota's going to school overseas. He's in…" Yasuda struggles to get the right pronunciation before finally saying, "Tennessee? I think that's it."

Hisashi's jaw drops, "He got scouted for an American school?"

"No, he applied on his own. He didn't tell any of us until after Interhigh." Yasuda frowns, then continues, "You haven't talked to him at all?"

"Why would I?"

"…Oh, I figured…"

"You figured wrong."

He probably makes a scene when he stomps out of the bathroom, and he definitely makes one when he drinks too much and has to be dragged back to his parents' house by Akagi.


Everything Hisashi hears about Miyagi's college career is filtered through Kogure, who gets the information from Akagi, who gets his information from Haruko, while she gets it from Sakuragi or Yasuda. It's like a really complex game of telephone and he wishes there was an easier way of getting information without having to jump through so many hoops.

Just as Yasuda said, Miyagi applied to schools on his own without telling the team or Coach Anzai. No one was entirely sure how he was paying for it, since there was no way his mother would be able to pull together that kind of money, but he seemed to be making do whenever somebody could get in contact with him. Eventually he would send articles in English about the team from the college newsletter and Haruko would make photocopies to pass along to the rest of them.

Hisashi plays well on his own team, but midway through his senior year his knee starts to give out again. He schedules another surgery for after the season ends, but knows well and good that his professional career is a non-starter. He can still play, but not at the same level as Akagi, Rukawa, Sakuragi, or Miyagi.

Surprisingly, he's okay with it. His four years in Osaka have done a lot for him mentally and he thinks he can step back into a less active role without having an emotional breakdown. He's supposed to join the family business and he considers coaching basketball on the side.

Every time he gets a new article or clipping about Miyagi, he pastes it in a notebook he keeps under a stack of books on his desk. His latest sex friend doesn't need to know he's still holding a torch for someone he only kissed once.


Miyagi doesn't return to Japan right after college. He spends an extra year in undergrad and somehow has two extra years of schooling in-between playing semi-professional basketball with the ABA.

He comes back for a few days in 2000 to celebrate Sakuragi and Haruko's wedding. Hisashi gets himself so excited that he develops a bad fever the morning of the wedding and can't attend.


Three years later, Mitsui's parents arrange an omiai. His parents have been bugging him about marriage for years and now that he's 27-years-old, they must think enough is enough. He lets his parents handle all of the details. His mother sets him up with one of her friends' niece.

Wakana is a nice woman, she's objectively pretty and Hisashi is sure that any straight man would fall head over heels for her. She works as an office lady in a bank but wants nothing more than to be a wife and mother. She likes needlepoint and grows her own herbs for cooking.

Hisashi could never love her, it's impossible for him. He'll do what he has to, though.

A week before his wedding, Akagi tells him that Miyagi's gotten married too. She's a nice American girl that he met in school, and he brought her along to Haruko's wedding. Hisashi is glad he was too sick to go.

The only wedding photo he sees is a snapshot Miyagi mailed to Sakuragi. Miyagi and this…woman are standing next to each other in a shabby looking chapel. Neither one of them is dressed fancy, but she's wearing a veil and Miyagi's in a collared shirt so it couldn't have been too impulsive. Miyagi's an NBA player now and American tabloids will dig up any information for a good story.

Selfishly, Hisashi mentally critiques Miyagi's wife. She's too skinny, her makeup is messy, and she's just…not right for him. He could do so much better. Being married to an American also means staying far, far away. At least if he married Ayako, he'd still be within traveling distance.

Miyagi has a big, dumb smile plastered across his face. Hisashi wishes he could be happy for him.


Social media is a real game changer. When Hisashi gets a Facebook page, suddenly it's a lot easier to keep tabs on everybody from high school and university. He's no longer tied to phone calls or letters. Best of all, he can friend someone and never have to have a single meaningful interaction with them at all. A simple poke, like, or generic comment can go a long way.

That's his only reprieve when he sends Miyagi a friend request. He doubts he'll hear anything back, because he's a famous sports star and Hisashi just sells insurance. If it works out, he doesn't have to follow a chain of information from third parties just to know Miyagi's still alive.

Miyagi doesn't visit Japan often, but he still gives interviews to Japanese magazines. Hisashi's gleans more about him from these articles than he ever did in the two years they went to school together.

It's the first time he learns about Sota, and how much his loss affected Miyagi's entire life. It's also the first time he finds out he's not entirely responsible for putting Miyagi in the hospital over a decade ago. Somehow, knowing that makes his heart hurt more. Not because he hinged so much on his guilt over the incident, more because he could never imagine being so sad that you wanted to die for real.

Miyagi accepts his friend request, so Hisashi does a little snooping late at night. It looks like Miyagi is married to another woman, she's curvier with dark hair and tan skin. There's a picture of the two of them in a car with a dog. Another one at a significantly nicer wedding ceremony than Miyagi's first. It doesn't look like he has any kids, there's a chance he just doesn't want them exposed on the internet.

He thinks back to that one conversation.

"I want to go far away too…"

This is the first time Hisashi accepts that Miyagi likely isn't coming back.

Hisashi is a poor excuse of a husband. He's not a deadbeat, he puts food on the table and makes sure his wife and two sons are well provided for. He buys Wakana nice clothes and jewelry and spends a lot of time teaching Hiro and Tooru how to play basketball.

But on nights when he stays late at work or when he goes on weekend long business trips, he travels up to Tokyo and goes to Nii-chome. When he's there, he fucks short guys with undercuts and piercings that mouth off to him.


Miyagi retires from the NBA in 2013. He's 36-years-old, well above the average for a lot of basketball players, but his game hasn't suffered one bit. He wants to bow out while he's still doing well. He mentions wanting to focus on charity work or use his degree to get into sports journalism.

His English is well practiced and fluent, he could probably pick up a job anywhere in America. He could get one in Japan too, if he wanted to.


2014 is apparently a rough year for Miyagi, he gets divorced from his second wife and he gets into a very heated argument with a newscaster on ESPN. It's all tame in comparison to the problem child he was in high school. His current position in life just makes it more magnified on an international scale.

In 2015 Fuji News Network announces that they've signed Miyagi Ryota to report on one of their programs. After 20 years abroad, one of the biggest Japanese players to make a splash on the American stage was coming home for good.

Hisashi isn't able to keep up with any other updates about this, however. Because his wife catches him in bed with a male college student he met on a dating website.

The next year she hands him divorce papers.


Things always find a way to work themselves out. Being single again at 40-years-old, Hisashi comes to the conclusion that he needs to do what makes him happy and not hurt the other people around him because he wants them to hurt as badly as he does.

Despite the circumstances of their divorce, Wanaka and Hisashi are able to work out an agreement where they can co-parent their children. They were married for 13 years, so their lives would always be intertwined with each other, and being civil about what went wrong is better than trying to sweep it under the rug.

Hisashi is no longer embarrassed to call himself a gay man. He doesn't scream it from the rooftops and wants to keep his private life under lock and key. It's still better than sneaking around and getting caught up in risky behavior.

In 2019, Yokohama approves same-sex partnership certificates. The world falls into chaos for a little while, but in 2022 Akagi and Kogure announce their wedding date. They've been together for thirty years and living together since graduating university, a partnership certificate is just putting it down on paper. That doesn't change the fact that everyone is happy for them and wants to celebrate the occasion.

It's the first time since 1994 that the entire Shohoku team from that year is in the same room and the same time.

The ceremony is beautiful, not a dry eye in the entire room. When Akagai and Kogure at the head table, surrounded by lavender, blue, and white flowers, their faces are glowing with joy. Mitsui decides that this is how every wedding should be, not like the solemn rigidity of his own or the slapdash nature of Miyagi's first.

Speaking of Miyagi, Hisashi had only seen him at the very beginning of the ceremony. It was easy to lose someone in the crowd. Sakuragi was only easy to keep track of because he was obnoxiously going on-and-on about how he was going to give the best wedding speech ever. "Ten-times better than anything Shittykawa or Micchy could come up with, because I'm Takenori's brother-in-law."

He's incredibly lucky Akagi is too distracted by his new husband to kick his ass into next week.

Hisashi rolls his eyes and decides to take his drink outside. There's still another 30 minutes before everyone needs to take their seats and go through all the speeches before dinner. He already has his memorized, but if he has to listen to Sakuragi's blathering he's going to forget it.

He steps out onto the veranda, gently shutting the glass doors.

"Look who the cat dragged in…"

A chill traveled down Hisashi's spine. He whipped his head around and his drink sloshed in its glass.

There was Miyagi, stretched out in a lounge chair and dressed in a nice three-piece suit. His hair was styled differently, parted neatly to the side and no longer shaved, and there were wrinkles forming near his eyes and around his mouth. A shiny garnet stud shined in his left ear, along with two smaller diamond studs above it and another in his right. Vaguely, Hisashi could see the scar of an old piercing near his right eyebrow. Even with all of those changes and 30-years of aging, there was still the same smug smile and half lidded gaze.

The same Ryota he's always loved.

Hisashi pushed his nerves down and raised his glass, "Miyagi, it's been a while."

Miyagi clicked his tongue, "What are you doing, trying to sell me something? Cut the niceties, Mitsui-san."

"Well, I mean, I have a celebrity in my midst."

"Bite me."

And Hisashi had to laugh at that, because it all felt so natural and fluid. Almost as if nothing had ever changed.

Miyagi sat up and waved him over to take a seat. He picked up his own drink and took a sip, "How's everything been going? I stopped paying attention to Facebook during the pandemic."

"Things have been alright," he sat down, pulling his chair closer so they wouldn't have to raise their voices to speak to each other. "Hiro's taking college entrance exams soon. Tooru won one of his dance competitions."

"I still can't believe you didn't raise two little basketball freaks. You sure they're your kids?"

"Unfortunately. Hiro's got my temper. How come you never had any?"

"Just didn't work out. Chelsea got sick around the time we started trying and Marni wasn't interested. I would have wanted to raise them here anyway and she wasn't going to give up everything to live in Japan." Miyagi shrugged, "I miss that dog, though."

Hisashi hummed and took another swig of his drink. "I guess sometimes things just happen."

"I guess that's true…" there was a pause, and then a sigh, "Mitsui-san, can we not keep avoiding this?"

"Avoiding what?" Hisashi pouted and turned his head away, fiddling with his glass. "We should probably get back inside soon. I think people are starting to sit down."

"We still have fifteen minutes. You know exactly what I mean." Miyagi reached over and placed his hand just above Hisashi's knee. "Come on, we're both too old for this. You're almost 50."

"Excuse you, I'm only 46."

"Yeah. Almost 50."

"I'm going to chunk you off this balcony."

"Have you gotten better at fighting since high school? I don't see Aota or Tetsuo to fight your battles for you." Miyagi smirked at Hisashi's offence to that comment. "Come on, I've waited long enough to know what that was about."

Hisashi knows this. He's aware that this has been hanging over Miyagi's head just as long as it's been hanging over his. "Yeah, okay," he relents, before turning his whole body around. He places his glass next to Miyagi's on the table. "I guess you want me to apologize, right?"

"Why would I want that?"

"Because you're straight? And that was your first kiss."

The tips of Miyagi's ears and cheeks go bright red. "That wasn't my first kiss."

"Yes it was. It was so obvious."

"Okay, fine. So what if it was? I didn't stop you. I kissed back, didn't I?"

"Yeah, because I didn't give you any other options. I threw myself at you."

"And I've kicked your ass under worse conditions. If I hated it so much, I could have stopped you."

"Are you saying you didn't hate it then?"

Miyagi rolls his eyes and huffs, "Oh my god, how are you this stupid? No, I didn't hate it, dumbass."

That takes a huge weight off of Hisashi's shoulders. "You don't know how much I needed to hear that. I've been worrying about it forever. I thought you'd be upset."

"No shit, I'm upset. You kissed me, ran off like a bitch, and then ignored me for decades. How else am I supposed to take that?" Miyagi squeezes Hisashi's leg, right on the muscle that hurts. "I thought you were messing with me, until Hanamichi told me last week that you're just emotionally constipated."

"How the hell would he know any of that?"

"Because you told Kogure-san, who told Boss, who talked to Haru-chan about it, and Haru-chan tells Hanamichi everything. You gave yourself away."

Hisashi groans and rubs between his eyes. "Goddammit."

"Ditto. Am I going to get an explanation then?"

"We don't have enough time for that. There's so much ground to cover."

"Well, think of a way to say it faster."

No matter how old he gets, Hisashi will always be that stupid, emotional, impulsive kid on the inside. Sometimes, he figures, it's okay to let his basic instincts take the wheel.

He reaches his right arm over and cups his hand behind Miyagi's…Ryota's neck, then slowly pulls him closer. This time, when they kiss, they're both experienced enough to know what to do. Hisashi's lips are likely chapped, but Ryota's are just as soft as he remembers. Their lips slot perfectly together, avoiding teeth and awkward nose bumping. Ryota glides his tongue into Hisashi's mouth with practiced east and moans softly when Hisashi sucks at it. Hisashi's limbs turn to mush when gently bites at his lower lip.

When they break apart for air the first time, they breathe against each other's mouths. Their lips brush in one, two, three almost kisses, before they lean back in for another.

After that second kiss, Ryota's hand curls under Hisashi's chin, his thumb tracing over the long-faded scar there. He chuckles, "Took long enough, fuck."