Matthew could not bear it. His eyes shut tight, and his heart shattered with every cry that pierced through the cold winter night air of the English countryside. His little girl was in pain, as anyone would be able to see. Tormented by the disease he had given to her. Not long after she had been born three years ago, they had discovered that she not only had witch DNA, but the DNA of a vampire as well. It wasn't hard to find out that she was a blood-rage vampire.
Matthew could hardly bear it. Knowing that he had passed his disease onto his daughter left him with overwhelming guilt. More guilt than he held with Marcus. And, while he would never say so to Diana, even left him with more guilt than it did with Jack. Everyday it grew harder to console little Rebecca, and everyday, a little more of his heart broke.
As for Diana, she was a saint whom he could only wish to be like. When it came to making sure their daughter was fed, she showed no hesitation. Were it not for her magic and ability to heal herself, her wrists would be riddled with cuts made to allow their daughter to feed from her blood. He couldn't have hoped for a better woman to be the mother of his children. She gave her all for both Rebecca and Philip, and of course their other children. He wanted to be as strong as she was, but the guilt always took over. The guilt that he was the cause of their daughter's blood-rage.
When at last he could not find it to block out the wails of his daughter, he made his way to her room, where Diana was already with her. He found her sitting with Rebecca in the rocking chair he had made for her. The little girl in her lap sat with her mother's wrist to her lips, gently sucking. Diana merely smiled lovingly. He knew that to her, it was no question. She would give her life for their children. It didn't even bother her when Rebecca would pull away in her state of rage and cry out. She always took it in stride.
"How is she?" He asked, entering the room.
Diana looked up at him, keeping the smile on her face; but, he could see the pain behind her eyes. "She's a little better. Still hungry. We may need to get one of the bags," she told him, turning her attention back to their daughter.
The girl was a meek child. No one would even guess that she was a vampire, were it not for the fact that she was a spitting image of her father. She was a true De Clermont, everyone kept saying. Unknown to them, that created more pain in Matthew. When he brushed her thick black hair, or when he would gaze into the piercing blue eyes that reflected his own. He was reminded not only of his own suffering, but of the fact that she too would suffer.
He stroked the little girl's head, and reached to take her from Diana. "Do you remember what we talked about, mon ange?" He whispered in her ear. He had been working with her on control for a few months now, taking it step by step. His voice alone seemed to help in soothing her, but he knew it wouldn't always be enough. "Mama and papa love you, so very much. We are always here with you. You're safe. Your brothers and sister are safe. I'm right here with you. Mama is here with you."
The rage slowly left her eyes. Her cries of pain and need for blood died down, and turned into cries of sadness. Her arms wrapped around Matthew, and she buried her face in his neck. "I'm sorry, daddy," she whimpered sorrowfully.
He held her tight in his arms. he couldn't imagine the fear she lived in everyday. Yes, he had the blood-rage, but he hadn't had to live with it since he was born. She didn't fully understand her pain, either, or the strong desire for blood. "Come, my darling. Let's get you back into bed, yes?" He carried her over to her bed and laid her down gently. "I love you," he told her, kissing her forehead.
"I love you too, daddy," Rebecca replied with a bright smile that lit her face.
Diana followed and kissed their daughter's head, "I love you too, sweetheart. Come get us if you need," she said softly. With their final words, they backed out of the room, sighing when they closed the door. Diana drew her left hand over her right wrist and closed up the wound she had made to feed Rebecca.
Matthew took his wife into his arms and kissed her head. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner."
She only shook her head, "Matthew, I understand. Seeing our daughter go through what you did can't be easy. I know you want to help her as much as I do," tears pooled in her eyes. "I don't know what to do for her. Everyday I feel like I'm failing her. And you." A sob managed to slip past her lips before her hand flew to her mouth. "If we can't help her learn to control it soon...I'm going to have to spellbind her." The realization hit like a ton of bricks. The oath she swore to Baldwin could not be broken.
Matthew's arms tightened around her. "If it comes to that, then later on she will know it was for her own safety. But, we mustn't worry about that yet, mon coeur. There is still time for her to learn. We will help her. And I will spend more time teaching her. Whatever it takes, we will do what is best for her. And you have already been doing such an amazing job. You're an amazing mother, Diana. Don't doubt yourself." He knew, though, that despite his best efforts she would continue to believe that she could do better.
A few days went by, and Diana got out of bed to find Matthew with Rebecca in their garden area. It was their little spot to practice control together. She never really knew what he would say to their daughter, but whatever it was she knew it helped more than anything else.
"Mama."
Her head turned to the little voice that called her name and she smiled at her little boy. "Good morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" She asked him, picking him up and placing him on her hip.
The three year old shook his head while rubbing his eyes, "No, something was wrong with Becca. It felt like she was in pain," he placed his head on his mother's chest, clearly tired from having not gotten much sleep during the night.
Diana's heart sped up ever so slightly. She and Matthew had not yet explained to Philip that his twin was a blood-raged vampire. The only people who knew was Jack, Ysabeau, Sarah and Gallowglass. They feared Philip was too young to understand that danger being a blood-raged vampire put his sister in; but it seemed their sheltering him did little good. Be it the intuition of them being twins, or the fact that Philip was a witch, he knew something was wrong.
"Well, Rebecca is fine this morning, darling. She's with daddy in the garden." She placed him at the table and gave him a quick kiss on the head. "Now, I'm going to check if Genevieve is awake and then I'll get you some breakfast," she told him before walking back towards the bedrooms.
She came into her youngest daughter's room to find the infant of not even a year squirming in her crib. They were still unsure as to whether she was a witch, a vampire or even a daemon. Matthew had heard her blood sing, though it was very faint in comparison to witch babies her age. But, she also didn't show the same thirst for blood as Rebecca. Their best guess was that she was a combination of the two.
"Hush, darling. Mama's here now," she cooed to her baby while picking her up. "I'm sure you're hungry. Well, your brother is waiting for us out in the dining room," baby in her arms, she made her way back to the dining room, where Philip was waiting. With him, Matthew and Rebecca had returned from the outdoors. "Good morning, you two," she greeted her husband and daughter each with a kiss.
Matthew resisted the urge to plant his lips more firmly upon his mate, keeping in mind that their children were present. He instead returned her kiss chastely and then kissed the top of his youngest daughter's head. "She slept in late," he pointed out. A godsend to them, really. As they had struggled with helping Genevieve maintain a regular sleep schedule since she'd been born. Again, another thing that lead them to believe she was a combination of both a witch and a vampire as her older sister was.
Diana hummed her confirmation and sat down in her chair with the baby on her lap. She lifted her shirt to feed Genevieve, but the baby refused to latch. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Matthew..." she whispered.
Her mate turned his attention from their twins to her and their youngest daughter. He too noticed that, while fussy, she was adamantly refusing to latch. He said nothing as his wife used her magic to create a cut in her wrist and held it up to their baby's mouth. The infant instantly latched onto her mother's bleeding wrist. And the parents shared concern in knowing that yet another one of their children had strong vampire DNA.
"Daddy, she's like me!" Rebecca exclaimed excitedly, not understanding the graveness of the situation.
Matthew put on a fake smile for his daughter and knelt beside her. "She is indeed, mon cher. She's like you and me, both. And that means we need to take extra care of her."
Philip sat with his head down. "I wish I was like you, daddy," the young boy said, unaware of what being like his father and sisters would truly mean.
Matthew and Diana shared a glance before Diana knelt in front of their son, stroking his curly blonde hair. "You're perfect just the way you are, sweetheart. Your father and I wouldn't change you for anything in the world. And one day, I'll teach you and your sisters spells. You three will be the envy of every witch in the world. Don't ever wish to change. You are perfect the way you are," she poked his nose and smiled at his little giggle.
That night was a sorrowful one for Matthew and Diana as they laid with their arms around one another. "What are we going to do, Matthew?" Diana asked fearfully.
"I don't know, darling," he responded, as torn as she was about their discovery of their youngest daughter.
She whimpered softly. "Rebecca is not only a witch possessing several of the elemental markers, but a blood-rage vampire. It's going to be difficult enough should the congregation ever wish to have her tested. But what of Genevieve? Protecting one of them is going to be difficult enough; but both of them? There are those who would seek to use them as weapons of war, Matthew," fear laced her voice as the emotion overtook her. It was hard enough living with the fear that someone like Gerbert might hunt out Rebecca to use her one day and she could hardly bear the idea of both of their daughters being used at the will of another individual.
Matthew sat up with his wife still in his arms. "Now Diana, we are not going to let any harm come to our girls, I promise you that. We will protect them at any cost. If need be, I will even ask Marcus to call upon the Knights of Lazarus to protect Rebecca and Genevieve. They will not be used in the way Jack was. And I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. This, I swear to you, mon coeur."
