(A/N: Hey, folks. So, before we get to the review, I wanted to clarify a few things. Some of them are related to today's review, and a few that aren't. So, I wanted to get the things that aren't related to today's review out of the way.
First, I want to explain the topic of whether or not I actually liked the Care Bears franchise when I did the first movie review. The answer is yes and no, at the same time. I only like the DiC show and the first two movies, but the rest of the franchise was never my thing. Well, the Nelvana-era is an in-between thing, but other than that, the rest of the franchise isn't exactly my thing.
Now, I want to apologize for how I handled the review. Not only did I use Nostalgia Critic's jokes instead of making original jokes, but I acted like someone who hated it when I did like it. However, while this isn't an excuse, nor am I using it to justify how the review was handled, there are a few reasons. 1.) it has been decades since I have seen the first two movies and any episodes from the DiC show, and 2.) I have younger siblings, well, more like a younger sister who's only a couple years younger than me, who likes to make fun of me for enjoying stuff that are intended for kids, so that caused me to hide that part of myself, out of fear of being judged or bullied{and given I've spent elementary and middle school years being bullied for speech issues, which was caused by my hearing problems, it had destroyed my self-esteem, so this made it worst. Luckily, high school didn't add to it since I wasn't bullied, so that helped a lot.} by my own family for liking wholesome stuff.
Like I said, it's not an excuse, and I'm not justifying how the review was handled. So, as an apology, I planned on doing a redo on that review for Season 2 of The Critical Mew, both as a way to apologize for the first movie review, and as a way for me to stop hiding this part of myself from others.
Now, onto the topic of the current review. For those who like seeing reviews of Crystal Rose of Pollux's version of The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo season 2, well, this is the last review for her works.
There are reasons why. 1.) There are a lot of stories that when I think I'm caught up on reviews, I find out that I'm behind. Heck, as of this review, there's been more episodes for the second season released, and I'm sure that by the time I get to the next one, I'll still be behind.
However, that's not the main reason. The main reason is 2.) The second season doesn't have the heart of the original series. Thus, my co-star and I are disappointed.
Let me explain this one a bit more. First off, Crystal Rose of Pollux has been using the stories to flesh out the relationship between Vincent, Daphne, and as of recently, Shaggy, owing to the fact that the latter two started to use magic. On the other hand, Scooby, Scrappy and Flim-Flam has been shafted to the sidelines, with frustrating excuses for why: Scrappy and Flim-Flam due to being kids{funny, given how that didn't matter in the original show}, and Scooby due to guilt complex{which while that did happen in the Time Slime episode, it was more of a combination between guilt and PTSD, which the show has implied is something that Scooby was developing, and even then he came back to save the others in the same episode.}, thus they get no character development.
The other problem is the lack of comedy. Oh, there are a few jokes here and there, but otherwise, the second season is dark. Which isn't what made The 13 Ghosts memorable. It was having a balance between a darker atmosphere{AKA, 13 demons who want to either conquer or destroy the world}, with tons of comedy and slapstick{meta-aware humor and Loretta Cutitout, everyone?} What makes it worse is that The 13 Curses of Scooby-Doo{ or as it is known as, Scooby-Doo and the 13th Ghost!} suffer through the same problem due to being more of a comedy movie, taking out the darker atmosphere and flat-out lying to the fans about the movie being a conclusion by dangling a question over people's head. Not helping matters was that this was during Warner Bros.' whole shtick about purging real monsters from Scooby-Doo just to have Velma be right about being a skeptic.
All it does is cause fans who 'fixes' the problem to make it worse by taking away half of what makes The 13 Ghosts great, all because Warner Bros. ruined it. Heck, if I have to use an allegory for this, I'm going to have to use the two Stevens from 'Change Your Mind' as an example. {And given how Steven Universe is still a bitter pill to swallow at times for me, you know how disappointed I am that fans missed out on the heart of The 13 Ghosts.}
As shown in that episode, the two Stevens, once separated, were lacking something that the other had. Pink Steven{or Pink Diamond taking the form of her son to give White one last 'Screw you'. My personal headcanon.} had the power needed to stand up to White Diamond, but lacked compassion to hold back said power from harming everyone else. Human Steven, on the other hand, had the compassion needed to make the emotional decision to not use the power to harm others, but lacked the strength to get back on his own feet and needed help. Only once the two halves were near each other did they start to regain the parts they lost, thus becoming whole again.
What caused Warner Bros. and Crystal Rose of Pollux's works to both fail badly, at least to my co-star and me, is that they both took out half of what made The 13 Ghosts enjoyable and hoped no one notices. And, only one managed to succeed so far, at least, in the eyes of the fans.
But, as of now, my co-star and I decide we can't keep reviewing Crystal Rose of Pollux's season 2 anymore, as there's nothing about it that makes it similar to the original show, nor does any of the changes she made regarding it make sense. Like having both seasons take place in the 2010s, when the original 13 Ghosts show took place in the 1970s, changing the lore of the 13 Ghosts{my co-star will talk more about that in the review}, or having Julius Belmont having both the Vampire Killer and his memories, despite having lost both the whip and his memories in the Great Demon Castle War from 1999 and wouldn't regained both of them till 2035 during the events of Castlevania Aria of Sorrows,{Okay, maybe the time period part is a minor thing, since my co-star/co-author and I are changing the time placement of Castlevania: Chronicles of Sorrow from the 2030s to the late 2010s in the Across the Multiverse Productions Time-verse, but the whole 'Julius remembering everything and keeping his whip' thing is a major problem since it's a plot point of Castlevania Aria of Sorrow and the one thing we're keeping, since it would ruin the plot of the game.} along with having Simon Belmont using magic and using Holy Cross via Item Crash.{You know, one of the few Belmonts who doesn't use magic? The other three are Sonia, Trevor and Leon Belmont. I have researched the franchise, and not once did Simon use magic at all, due to his barbarian upbringing, nor did he use Item Crash. It was Richter Belmont who used Item Crash.} Or even Vincent having magic from Square Enix games, despite the fact that in the original show, we see what magic he uses. Or changing the Green Dragon and the lore from Scooby-Doo and the Samurai Sword and the circumstances regarding Shaggy, Scooby and Scrappy's meeting with Ms. Grimwood.
And then there's reason 3.) Daphne is right all the time. As I said earlier, Warner Bros. had the monsters being fake in most of their recent Scooby-Doo movies just so Velma, who is a close-minded skeptic in those movies, can be right about the monsters being fake, both in the movies and in the cases of 13 Curses and Return to Zombie Island, along with the Courage the Cowardly Dog crossover movie, monsters being fake in the original products that the movies are sequels to. On the other end of that spectrum, Crystal Rose of Pollux has Daphne being right all the time, excluding the first story. Whether it's clues leading up to something, having her entire life and self-worth being tied to Vincent, or being able to do magic and seeing a solution that people older than her can't see, she's always right about something. It's to the point where she's either a Mary Sue, or someone who blames everything that goes wrong for everyone on herself, both of which isn't Daphne at all. Heck, Be Cool Scooby-Doo! and some of the recent Scooby-Doo movies show us that Daphne has a positive mindset.
So, yeah, at this point, my co-star and I am done with this. If everyone else wants to keep reading Crystal Rose of Pollux's season 2 stories, that's fine. But this is to explain why my co-star and I are done with reading and reviewing them. So, hope you enjoy the last hurrah for Crystal Rose of Pollux's second season reviews.
Please leave a comment about what you like with the reviews, what could be improved, and what you want to see reviewed down the line. And, now with no further delays, onto the review!)
A trio of glowing dots looked at the readers.
Critical Mew, looking for you
The glowing dots split into the Legendary Titans(excluding Regigigas). Andrew stood in the background, annoyed about being in the background.
Critical Mew, where are you?
The Critical Mew flies in, wearing a trench coat and a hat, giving the readers a wink.
Come on, Mew, where you been?
The Critical Mew took off the trench coat and used Transform, becoming a king, a dame with blonde hair, a waiter and an Elvis impersonator.
Trouble's on the loose again
A mysterious figure showed up, trying to crush Mew with a sandbag, only to narrowly miss. He looked behind him to the embodiment of stress, who proceeded to chase him to a door of things to review, which began to do the Thriller hip movements.
(Mew)
They're not gonna get you
(Critical Mew)
The Legendary Titans went in a protective circle in front of Mew, protecting him.
Uh uh, the Regi Trio's gonna help you
(Mew)
Mew was in a barrel full of toys, deciding to peek out only for the floor to break under him, causing him to grab a loose floorboard with his tail.
Ooh, the comment's gonna be there
Registeel jumped on the floorboard, launching Mew into the air. Regice and Regirock caught Mew in their arms. Regieleki and Regidrago let out a sigh of relief. Andrew was standing off to the side, pretending not to care, despite the fact he does.
And Andrew too
The Critical Mew floated past Lavender Town, only for the ghost of Marowak to appear, scaring him away.
Critical Mew, looking for you
Mew was surrounded by loads of Ghost and Dark-Type Pokemon, all about to ambush him.
Critical Mew, where are you?
Only for Andrew to fly a helicopter with a huge net, using said net to grab the Dark and Ghost-Type Pokemon. Andrew held up a sign that said, 'Bring back 80s-era Scoob!'.
Mew, Critical Mew
Mew
The stuff to be reviewed danced once again, doing the Thriller hip moves.
Critical Mew
Mew
A pair of eyes zoom out, showing Mew, Andrew and the Legendary Titans with the Tree of Beginning in the background.
Critical Mew!
The Critical Mew-Season One
Episode 17: Sands of Time and Space by Crystal Rose of Pollux
Tree of Beginning-Early-Mid Autumn, 2023
Mew had his face on the desk, trying to hide his expression. Andrew, on the other hand, was staring at people's critique of Doug's review of The Wall. Suddenly, Mew lifted a paw and pointed at something off to the side, most likely the source of his current predicament. Or more rather, three somethings.
Sands of Time and Space
By: Crystal Rose of Pollux
[Original 13 Ghosts 'verse, hypothetical "Season 2"] Shaggy, Daphne, Scooby, and Scrappy are eager to join Fred and Velma at Cape Canaveral for the launching of a new Mars probe, with Flim-Flam going along with them. But when Vincent shows up at the behest of Athena to stop a supernatural threat at the Cape, Daphne quickly realizes that the gang's two lives are about to collide.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Shaggy, Daphne, Vincent Van Ghoul, Scooby Doo - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,594 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: Sep 25, 2021 - Published: Aug 7, 2021 - Status: Complete - id: 13934794
And Give a Hand o' Thine
By: Crystal Rose of Pollux
[Oneshot, original 13 Ghosts 'verse]. The gang's plans to spend New Year's Eve in Florida go awry when they opt instead to help Vincent take on an ice monster prowling around the mountainside.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Shaggy, Daphne, Vincent Van Ghoul, Scooby Doo - Words: 6,265 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: Dec 31, 2020 - Status: Complete - id: 13783450
A Change In My Life
By: Crystal Rose of Pollux
[Oneshot, original 13 Ghosts 'verse, ties to my "Season 2" project]. Life is full of changes, and a 2000-year-old warlock and his companions have just reached a pivotal one.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Friendship/Drama - Shaggy, Daphne, Vincent Van Ghoul, Scooby Doo - Words: 5,459 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: Aug 2, 2021 - Status: Complete - id: 13931982
Mew soon lifted his head up, looking pissed off and barely containing the last of his sanity. "You know, I thought the last episode regarding Crystal Rose of Pollux's second season would've done me in. But nope, it was a red herring!
"It turns out that this episode, and the two one-shots that took place before and after it, are the ones that are doing the job! And to think the first hint should've been the change in the 13 Ghosts' backstories and their lores!" Mew ranted before turning to Andrew.
You can stop staring at the wall now!" he said to Andrew.
"Really?" Andrew asked, somewhat surprised by Mew's anger.
"Yes! Now, if you excuse me, I'm just gonna walk away while letting you have the free rein for a rant/lecture." Mew said, floating away.
"...Don't you mean float away?" Andrew said.
"I know what I said!" Mew shouted.
"Geez, what crawled up his non-existent pants and died?" Andrew asked, before seeing the titles for the three pieces of works. "Oh, those exist. Shit," he said, before sitting down. "So, who wants to hear someone go through an early mid-life crisis?" Andrew asked with an unamused face.
"It's no secret that The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo has become popular these days, and why wouldn't it be?" Andrew stated, with scenes from said show playing.
"This show has been talked to death on this series. But that's fine. I talk about The Little Mermaid a lot as well.
"Some would say that this was a precursor to Zombie Island.
"I know that we stated this before, but it needs to be said for context. When the show was canceled, fans for 30+ years have been hoping for a sign that, someday, the show would get a resolution. 30+ years later, we got a bold face lie!
"The advertisement lied to everyone saying that the thirteenth ghost would finally get found. That New Gang Plus (Trademarked by Billiam) could finish what Bogel and Weerd started. They even got Fred and Velma to tag along, which nearly every fan but me wanted. Everything seemed to be going great. But it was shit! It spat on everything the original had created! Character flanderizations at an all time low! And what's worse, IT LIED TO US ALL!
"Excuse my Doug Walker impression. Anyways, When the Horse Shit Lie came and went, Fans have decided to create their own ending. People like Lucifertheshort, CyberEman2099, Zigwolf, Rose-of-Pollux, and even the guy we can't review anymore have not only called out the movie, but also decided to take matters of a conclusion into their own tenti- I mean hands.
"And for a time, it was doing good. Until I went back to watch the show and asked one important question; What Happened to the 13 Ghost of Scooby Doo continuations?
"I think the author's note says it all, but okay fine, maybe I can ignore the time period. I mean, the franchise has gotten away with it one too many times. But what Rose-of-Pollux did to the 13 ghosts cannot be ignored.
"Here are two points I shall make as someone who rewatched the show:
"1). The first episode outright states that the townsfolk were the ones to trap the 13 ghosts, not Vincent. That retcon came from that movie. In fact, the show has him only knowing only four ghosts; Maldor, Nekara, Marcella, and Asmodeus. The rest; Vincent has no clue of who they are until he looks them up. After the premiere, the show never again established who caught them the first time, but you can still tell that the townsfolk did it.
"2). The 13 Ghosts Aren't Greek based! I mean, let me give you all a brief summary of them based off of their appearances and abilities to illustrate my point;
"Maldor: Medieval Demon Mage with Maleficent-like powers.
"Morbidia: Vampire Elvira who brings shadows to life and leads a haunted house full of demons.
"Reflector Specter: A Mirror Demon.
"Zomba: A ghost who can influence horror movies.
"The Ship (Debated on if it is the ghost or Ferguson): A ghost ship with creepy Titanic vibes and ghost guests to boot.
"Nekara: A Succubus.
"Marcella: A Zombie Skeleton Witch.
"Time Slime: A Buddhist looking monk with the time scepter.
"Demondo: A Comic Book Demon.
"Rankhor: An early vampire from ages long past.
"Professor Phantazmo: A Circus Ringleader/hypnotist.
"Zimbulu: A jungle demon.
"Asmodeus: A heavily christianised demon.
"Tell me, do any of them seem Greek to you? Because they don't to me. Zigwolf and CyberEMan2099 have each given them a much more elaborate backstories relating to their correspondent time periods and cultural mythos. They never had Greek undertones nor came from the same place and time period. With that said, on with the review." Andrew said.
"So, we begin the story with Daphne trying on an evening dress." Mew said.
"...You're kidding me, right?" Andrew asked, doing a J. Jonah Jameson impression.
"Nope. That's literally how the story starts." Mew said.
Daphne looked at her reflection, satisfied, as she tried on her new purple evening dress. It was perfect.
"Congratulations, we entered Mystery Incorporated and the recent Scooby movies afterwards territory." Mew said with a peeved off expression.
"Be Cool, Scooby-Doo! didn't go that route. They actually used part of Daphne's personality from that show in Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo!." Andrew pointed out.
"The only positive shift in Daphne's character in recent history and Warner Bros. is the one to acknowledge it. Weird how, besides compilation videos, the fans don't acknowledge it." Mew said.
"That's not the only thing they acknowledge, according to this gem. Play it, Scooty!" Andrew said, pointing at nothing. "Oh yeah, I left him out in the sun for too long. I told him not to wear that red shirt today. Well, gonna do it myself," Andrew said, getting up to play a clip.
Shaggy: If we tie this bedsheet to the wheelchair, we can roll it out for them to grab onto.
Daphne: Good idea, Shaggy! I have such a smart boyfriend!
Shaggy: KNOCK IT OFF, BLAKE! (goes outside carrying a wheelchair, which flies off with the wind) OH NO!
Velma: (sarcastically) You were saying about your... "boyfriend"?
"They didn't deny it." Mew said.
"We now have Billiam converted. Now all I need is to convert others to Golden Swan and- wait, are we live?!" Andrew asked.
"Yes. How else do you think people see these reviews, via lost footage-inspired movies?" Mew asked sarcastically.
"I sound like a crazy cult le-" Andrew began to exclaim before being cutted off by the camera for 'no explicable reason'.
1 Hour Later
"Better?" Mew asked, looking slightly disheveled.
"Yes, I think I scrubbed off the evidence." Andrew said.
"Okay then," Mew said, before fixing his appearance. "So, after the evening dress thing, Daphne thinks about how the gang had become closer to Vincent during the past months of ghost chases, near-death experiences and solving a mystery. And yet, she wants to see Velma and Fred again, while still keeping the truth of the 13 Ghosts away from them. You know, for their own protection." Mew said.
"Why put Fred and Velma in The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo in the first place?" Andrew asked.
"Actually, that is a logical question. Yes, at the beginning, I supported the decision that Rose of Pollux made to keep Fred and Velma out of the 13 Ghost hunt. That is, until she had Daphne tell Vincent, in a casual tone, all the times the gang almost died as teens in the Scooby-Doo series prior to 13 Ghosts, and then in the one-shot that was written before this story but canonically takes place after, she had the fact that Fred and Velma found out due to being used as hostages.
"So, why bring them in if they don't actually do anything besides making Daphne feel guilty that she won't tell them about the 13 Ghosts? Heck, why doesn't she just tell them anyways? It's not like this would be the first time they've dealt with real monsters before. 'Hassle At Dracula's Castle' and 'A Nutcracker Scoob' are prime examples of them dealing with real monsters." Mew said.
"They don't bring anything new to the table besides being skeptics if the 1990s-2000s films are to be believed." Andrew said.
"Screw the films. 'Hassle At Dracula's Castle' had that problem as well. Granted, the entire gang doubted that the monsters were real until being told, but Fred saw the Wolfman turn in front of him, and Velma was on Chandra's flying broomstick, so they don't have the benefit of doubt." Mew said.
"And you wanna what else is doubtful? The fact that the gang are invited to the launch of NASA's latest probe to Mars. Mainly because I doubt that NASA would let people witness an event up close, and even if they did, I doubt they would give it to anyone in a short amount of time." Mew said. "Apologies for sounding disinterested in space exploration, but we keep hearing tons of stuff about it for how long now? The only things that are interesting are the Moon landing in 1969, the first probe to Mars, and the Challenger. And the last one is remembered for infamous reasons.
"But wait, Vincent doesn't want to barge in on a happy reunion between old-time friends." Mew said.
As eager as she was, she had to admit that she was also eager to see Fred and Velma again, not having seen them in person since the winter holidays. This banquet they were going to in order to celebrate tomorrow's launch of a new Mars probe—the pet project of Velma's supervisor at NASA—was going to be a time to unwind and catch up… well, as much as Daphne and Shaggy could catch up, as Fred and Velma didn't know anything about the 13 Ghosts—or Vincent.
Daphne sighed. She had no intention of divulging the truth about the 13 Ghosts, but she did want Vincent to meet Fred and Velma—they'd met Flim-Flam over the holidays and had taken a liking to him, pleased that Scrappy had a friend his age to confide in. But, in spite of Daphne and Shaggy's best efforts, they hadn't been able to convince Vincent to go to the banquet with them.
"I would feel as though that I would be intruding," he had said. "It's far easier for Flim-Flam to fit in than me—and far easier to explain his presence, rather than mine."
Daphne didn't care about coming up with explanations at this point—they'd managed to introduce Vincent to Shaggy's parents a couple weeks ago when the warlock had desperately needed rest and recovery during a misadventure in Massachusetts. She knew Fred and Velma would like Vincent, too, but she did acknowledge that meeting people wasn't easy for the mage, especially after living such a large part of his life alone. But Daphne hoped that, someday, he would let them introduce him to Fred and Velma. Until then, she would continue to dream about what could be.
"When?! When did Fred and Velma meet Flim-Flam?! Because the entire show took place over months, and they spent that time searching for the 13 Ghosts!
Heck, why introduce Vincent to Shaggy's parents? Wasn't the whole point of asking Sccoby's parents to not tell Shaggy's parents about what's going on is to keep them from worrying? Pretty sure they know the truth at this point, making that promise pointless! Plus, since when did Vincent care about barging in?!" Mew ranted.
"And when did Vincent decide that he didn't want to barge in? He's done it plenty of times. And you know what? None of them cared!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Yeah, look at this montage." Mew said.
*Cue a montage of Vincent using magic to barge in on the gang's relaxation and nobody cares*
"And now because of Fred and Velma being there, Vincent chickens out. It's only when Palutena shows up because Asmodeus was bored of hiding today that Vince goes to watch the gang watch NASA probe Mars' crusty ass cracks!" Andrew ranted.
"Stop trying to kill everyone with jokes! We're trying to keep them alive for the review, not be branded as Monty Python-styled terrorists!" Mew said.
"I'M THE KILLING JOKE! Plus, what are the chances of what I just said coming true?" Andrew asked.
"Well, good thing you got your prime joke out of the way." Mew said.
"How come?" Andrew asked, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.
"Because it just happened as soon as the gang left." Mew said.
Flim-Flam now entered the corridor from his room, having temporarily swapped his sweatpants and hoodie for a small-sized Daura-Suruwal combo—the traditional male formal wear of Nepal.
"Well, it's not my first choice, but I think I'll make it work," he commented.
"You certainly do," Daphne said. "You look very nice, Flim-Flam."
"Thanks," the boy grinned. "You look nice, too!"
"And what about me?" Shaggy asked, stepping out of his room now.
Daphne and Flim-Flam could only stare, seeing Shaggy in a pair of slacks and a t-shirt that had a tuxedo design printed on it.
"Oh, no," Daphne said, once she'd found her voice. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"What?" Shaggy asked, as Flim-Flam had to look away to keep from laughing out loud. "I wore this to Scooby's rockstar cousin's concert, remember? You didn't have any objections then!"
"Oh, I did have plenty of objections then—I just didn't think it was a battle worth fighting!" Daphne retorted. "But this a really important evening for Velma—if you show up at the banquet in that, she'll be after you. And then she'll be after me for letting you wear that in the first place!"
"It only works for Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. Then again, it was Scooby who said it first to remind Daphne…and Norville." Andrew said.
"Funny, this is giving me Mystery Incorporated vibes. And that ship failed, in-universe, because Velma tried to change everything about Shaggy. …Please tell me this is not the route we're going from this point onwards." Mew said.
"I hope she wasn't using Curse of the Lake Monster here, cause Shaggy and Velma broke up mutually on good terms." Andrew said.
Flim-Flam couldn't hold in his laughter any longer; he had to lean onto the wall to keep from falling over.
"Well…" Shaggy trailed off, shrugging. "This is the most formal thing I've got!"
"…Seriously?" Daphne asked, facepalming. "Alright, we're solving this problem right now."
"Huh? How are we—?"
Shaggy was cut off as Daphne grabbed him by the hand and led him through the turret; not about to miss the fun, Flim-Flam was right behind them, following them to Vincent's study, where Vincent was reading a book in his armchair while Scooby and Scrappy were amusing themselves by going over the newest rules for some of Scrappy's favorite tabletop games. The three of them looked up as Daphne, Shaggy, and Flim-Flam arrived.
"Mr. Van Ghoul, Shaggy claims that is the 'most formal thing' he's got!" she said, gesturing to him. "Please, help!"
Her request sounded so dire, and Shaggy looked so affronted—Vincent was struggling to keep his expression neutral, which wasn't easy with Flim-Flam giggling off to the side, and being joined by Scooby and Scrappy, who quickly saw the humor of the situation.
"This isn't a fashion police we're running here." Andrew said.
"Yes. This is comedy central. Not the channel, but just a comedy centric place." Mew said.
"Yes, I see the problem," Vincent said, calmly. "But it's nothing I can't resolve with a little conjuring. Now, then… this little number here was once the very height of fashion, as I recall…"
An Elizabethan-era raiment appeared in his hand, complete with frilled collar—Shaggy's eyes widened in horror at the thought of wearing it, and Daphne facepalmed again.
"Uh-uh! Nooooo way!" Shaggy insisted, as Flim-Flam and the dogs were now howling with laughter.
"…Could we bump that up by a few centuries, please…?" Daphne asked, still facepalming.
The raiment was replaced instantaneously with a 19th century ensemble, with frilled sleeves and cravat.
"…That's definitely better, but, like, I'm not into the whole 'frilly' thing," Shaggy said. "What have you got in modern-day?"
The ensemble was then replaced with a modest-looking modern-day suit.
"That'll be perfect," Daphne declared, taking it from him and handing it to Shaggy. "Wear that."
Shaggy shrugged and went back to his room to change, and Daphne just sighed.
"What am I going to do with him?" she said.
"Kiss him, you fool!" Mew shouted.
"Don't you think that's a bit forceful?" Andrew asked.
"Rose of Pollux needs that forceful hint! Even more than Scooby and Shaggy Get a Clue! They never got that clue!" Mew retorted.
"Yeah, because there was never a clue in the show." Andrew agreed.
"Whatever it is, you've done a good job of it so far," Vincent mused.
Daphne managed a smile at that.
"Thanks," she said. "And you've done a good job with all of us. I can't believe in another 6 weeks, we'll have known you for two years now."
"Yes, and it has been a most fulfilling two years," Vincent assured them, as Shaggy now returned in the suit. "That certainly is an improvement."
"Okay, now that's the problem. From that statement, according to Rose of Pollux's continuity, the original show took place in 2014. But that's the problem. While Warner Bros. can, somewhat, get away with changing the timeline placement of the Scooby franchise, much to the fan's chagrin, you'd expect the fans to stick to the continuity of the original source material in terms of time periods for said source materials. But, apparently nope, they decide to do the very thing they get mad at Warner Bros. for doing." Mew said.
"The technology hasn't developed that far in the 60s-70s!" Andrew added.
"Exactly," Mew said.
"Yeah, like, I guess you could say it suits me," Shaggy grinned, prompting Daphne to facepalm a third time as Scooby groaned.
"Quick, let's get to that banquet before he comes up with any other zingers," Flim-Flam pleaded.
"Very well, if you're ready…" Vincent said, reaching for his crystal.
"We sure are," Scrappy said, eagerly. After a moment, though, his face fell. "But, gee, I still feel really bad that we'll be leaving you behind."
"Rheah," Scooby sighed. "Are rhou really sure rhou can't come with us?"
"Yeah, the invitation is still open," Shaggy added.
"Yeah, come on, Vince!" Flim-Flam encouraged.
"They're right," Daphne said, with a wan smile. "I know Fred and Velma are going to get along great with you if you meet them. Won't you please reconsider?"
Vincent could feel his resolve weakening as they all begged and pleaded, but he was determined to stick to his decision. This was not the ideal moment to introduce himself—some other time, perhaps… but not now.
"I'm afraid not," he insisted. "This is your friend Velma's moment in the limelight, and I see no reason to draw it from her."
"Didn't stop you from interrupting movie night. Or appearing on Boris' show despite the fact that the main attraction was the Chest of Demons." Mew snarked with a smirk.
"I want to eat your skin now." Andrew said in the background.
"You're not a plant." Mew said.
"Fuck! Even in the future, nothing works!" Andrew exclaimed, still in the background.
"You wouldn't be," Shaggy sighed. "But, I get it if it's not your thing—you don't have to go. And you're free to change your mind at any time and show up."
"And we'll be hoping you do," Daphne finished, as the others nodded.
"Hmm, well, let's focus on getting you there," Vincent replied, dodging the conversation completely. He took the crystal in his hands. "Be sure to contact me when you're ready to return here—though I imagine you'll want to stay a few days with your friends. But don't hesitate to call me if you need anything at all."
"Rhe won't," Scooby promised.
"And you call us if you need anything, like a ghost that needs splatting!" Scrappy grinned.
"I'll be certain to let you know if that happens," Vincent assured him. "Now, stand together—and make sure you have all the luggage you'll need."
"Got it right here, Vince," Flim-Flam replied, indicating the three small duffel bags that held the kids' casual clothes, as well as the other things they'd need.
"You will be careful…?" Vincent reminded them.
"Sure, Dad, sure," Shaggy said, only half-teasingly.
Daphne was biting back a smile; it was always heartwarming when Vincent acted like this—his "mother hen" mode, as she liked to refer to it. The warlock wasn't one for sentimental words—but he made his care and concern known by his actions like this.
"Shaggy and I will look after everyone," she promised.
Satisfied, Vincent nodded.
"Have a good time, then," he said, and, with that, he teleported everyone to the banquet hall, still a few minutes ahead of Fred and Velma's arrival.
With a sigh, he placed his crystal back on the withered hand that had served as its stand. It would be impossible to concentrate on reading now that the castle was empty again—ironic, considering how he had once relished solitude. He would have enjoyed the banquet, it's true—but, again, this was Velma's day, not his. There would be other opportunities…
"It's certainly quiet here without them isn't it?" a woman's voice commented.
"And here's the pay off for your joke." Mew said, frowning in disappointment.
"I want to die." Andrew said, now lying down on the ground.
"Sorry, you can't die yet. We still have a review." Mew said.
In response to that, Andrew let out a roar of anger.
"So, Palutena, that's what we're calling her now, tells Vincent that Asmodeus is planning on using the Time Worm in his recent plan." Mew said.
"He should have used the magic taint s$&." Andrew said.
Everyone had a look of horror and disgust on their faces. Well, everyone except for Andrew and Registeel.
"What are you looking at?" Andrew asked, confused.
"You mean magical tapeworm?" Mew said.
"Wait, we have those?" Andrew asked.
"...Moving on." Mew said, facepawing himself. "Basically, Palutena tells Vincent that Asmodeus is going to use the Time Worm against the gang. Even Vincent questions how Asmodeus knows that they just went to Florida to go see Fred and Velma at NASA, so Palutena explains it to him." Mew said.
"It is indeed, My Lady…" Vincent trailed off, realizing that Athena herself had just arrived. He got out of the armchair to bow before her in reverence. "You grace me once more with your presence. Might I assume that you have another assignment for me?"
"You would assume correctly; there is a Time Worm on the loose—a large, burrowing creature that can tear through the space-time continuum," she said.
"And where might this creature be?" Vincent asked.
Athena's expression grew serious.
"Vincent, you must know… this beast was brought from the Underworld by Asmodeus," she said, referring to the last of the 13 Ghosts—and the corrupted, demonic form of Vincent's ancestor. "Asmodeus knows that a confrontation with you is inevitable, but he also knows that your powers are stronger than his. So, he is summoning this creature to attack you in the way he can hurt you most—by attacking those whom you love most."
Vincent grew pale.
"The kids…" he realized. "He's going after the kids! But how did he know that they were going to Florida!?"
"He's been waiting a long time for them to go back there," Athena responded. "It would seem that after you dispatched of the poltergeist he had sent to Arizona, those two minion ghosts of the Thirteen finally found Asmodeus." She was, of course, referring to Bogel and Weerd—the ghostly duo who had tricked Shaggy and Scooby into opening the Chest in the first place. "They informed him of the house young Daphne has there, and he found it prudent to wait in Florida, knowing that they would undoubtedly return at some point to visit old friends."
"Of course, since Asmodeus is the most powerful, and smartest demon, he clearly wouldn't trust Bogel and Weerd. …Just kidding, he clearly trusts them and took their words at face value." Mew said.
"Most powerful demon in the chest, not the sharpest knife in a guys back after Michael Myers' target practices." Andrew said.
"So, Vincent decides to barge in the gang's reunion to protect them from the Time Worm, despite Palutena's warnings." Mew said.
"And tonight, they have—so he's summoned this beast," Vincent realized. "My Lady, I must—"
"Yes, you must go to them," she finished. "But, Vincent, you must be careful—remember that Asmodeus's goal is to get you to become like him, and he will endeavor to break you by taking away all that you love." Her expression was now one of sorrow. "You know what happened the last time you confronted him directly."
"…I can never forget it," Vincent replied, his thoughts turning to his departed former companion, Mortifer Quinch.
"Then you know why I say that now is not the time for a direct confrontation with Asmodeus—not until you have finally had a chance to teach your apprentices how to magically defend themselves. Focus on the Time Worm, and as much as you yearn to avenge Mortifer, I must instruct you—do not try to seek Asmodeus out; as he sees you as a bigger threat, he will not attempt to seek out a confrontation with you, either—yet."
"…I understand, My Lady. My priority is—and will forever be—ensuring that no harm befalls the kids."
"Then go to them, Vincent," she replied. "And may my grace be with you."
She returned through her doorway of light, back to her abode on Mount Olympus, leaving Vincent to quickly gather his thoughts and prepare to teleport out to Florida. He regretted that he would have to end up muscling in on Velma's moment after all—but for her own sake, as well as the others'.
So long as he drew breath, he would not allow Asmodeus or his minions to harm his family.
"Clearly Vincent isn't the sharpest knife either. Oh wait," Mew said, holding up another montage.
*Cue a montage of Vincent being smart in the original show*
"The only time was the Rankor incident and that had a few factors. 1.) as we established, Vincent never interacted with the majority, or any, of the 13 Ghosts. 2.) Rankor possessed the delivery guy, so Vincent thought the guy came back to get a tip. And 3.) When Vincent did realize the situation, he even knew it was too late to stop it.
"So, explain why we're in the habit of making powerful people the dumbest people ever?! For Arceus' sake, that's like saying Goku is dumb. And we're talking about a guy who passed a driving test, can notices things that even the 'smart' people like Tien, Piccolo and Vegeta can't notice at first glance, and as seen in the end of Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball GT, was considered one of the strongest people while having brain cells to back it up. Dragon Ball Super is that middle child Toriyama made that should've never happened." Mew said.
"You know what else shouldn't happen? Velma takes Daphne's fashion advice. Again." Andrew said.
Oblivious to the danger approaching them, Shaggy, Daphne, and the others had warmly greeted Fred and Velma when they arrived. Velma, like Daphne, was wearing an evening gown (orange, of course), and Fred, like Shaggy, had also worn a suit, temporarily swapping his ascot for a tie. They chatted and reminisced (all while Shaggy and Scooby were putting significant dents in the buffet table).
"Great! Now Velma can't use the restroom." Andrew said.
"Funny, I thought Velma wearing the jumpsuit Daphne got from her dad was the reason why." Mew said.
Andrew fell to the ground, laughing from the joke.
"I think you killed him! I can't feel him breathing!" Registeel exclaimed, feeling the bottom of Andrew's shoes.
"You're a titan made of metals, not a fucking seagull!" Andrew exclaimed, slapping Registeel's hand.
"So, the gang spent the first half of the chapter catching up. And that's it." Mew said.
"Is there a scene where I can make a joke in bad taste?" Andrew asked.
"Yes. The moment where Fred went for a low blow." Mew said.
"You know something, Guys?" Fred mused, in the midst of the hug. "I remember when we all had reservations back when we had to part ways, but look at us now—we've all made it. Velma's going to be taking over this Minerva project, I've got a book tour coming up in a couple weeks, Daphne and Shaggy are with the Chronicle full-time, Scooby's gotten braver, Scrappy's found a friend… I'm proud of all of us."
"... Fred killed the moment." Andrew said.
"So, Daphne gets a call from her parents, so she went off to answer that. Which allows Vincent to barge in on Shaggy, Fred and Velma's conversation." Mew said.
"She still likes ABBA," Velma mused. "I guess some things just never change."
"And I still love the Bee Gees," Shaggy informed her.
"Do the two of you still squabble over who gets to pick the playlist?" Fred grinned.
"Yes, they do," a new voice cut in. "Incessantly."
Shaggy stared, slightly awed, to see that Vincent had materialized beside them, dressed in his tuxedo and cape.
"Well, if Vincent can do it, so can I." Andrew said.
Guy: (sliding over to girl) Hey baby, are you an angel? 'cause I'm allergic to feathers. (regurgitates on girl)
"...Is that your pick-up line?" Mew asked.
"Too bad I'm forever single." Andrew said.
"So am I." Mew said.
"Don't you have kids?" Andrew asked.
"So, while Vincent chats with Fred, Velma and Velma's superiors, Shaggy goes to see if Daphne is done talking to her parents. Turns out that they want her to join the family business and…this isn't The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo anymore, this is Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated!" Mew exclaimed.
"That's it, I'm Shin Godzilla. I have to run all the way back to see, my back's feeling funny." Andrew said.
"Why do they care about the family business or social class when they see her 'stoner' boyfriend?! Heck, the only time they weren't okay with Daphne's decision was when she wanted to be a detective as a young child, and yet they still let it happen!" Mew exclaimed.
"Things apparently haven't changed in Crystal Cove's Blake residence." Andrew said.
"And then the Time Worm shows up, messes around for a little bit, and then leaves." Mew said.
"Well, that was quick." Andrew said.
"So, after that display, the obvious solution is for Fred to suggest checking the hole left behind." Mew said.
"Come on!" Fred called back to them. "Whatever it is, it's gone—but it might've left some clues behind!"
"Yeah, like Diglett holes and Dugtrio earthquaking droppings." Andrew said.
"No, what you just described was their mating season. Not as bad as Dialga's mating ritual, though." Mew said.
"Oh, hot, steamy action!" Andrew said joyfully.
"No. Just, no." Mew said, covering his face.
"You're an asshol- Wrecking Ball Man, what's that stuff on your hand?!" Andrew asked, disgusted.
Without looking, Mew used his psychic abilities to grab a censor bar and put it on Registeel.
"While the others are debating whether the Time Worm was trying to sabotage the NASA project or not and whether they should proceed or delay it, Vincent tells the gang what's going on. He also brought the Time Scepter with him." Mew said.
"That's funny. I thought you said Vincent has the Time Ceptor." Andrew said, his face semi-imposed on Fred's face during Scooby-Doo 2: Monster Unleashed after being told that Scoob and Shag had the monster-making device.
"He does." Mew said bluntly.
"Like, it's got nothing to do with the launch, right?" Shaggy gulped, quietly.
"Exactly," Vincent sighed. "It's after you—to get to me."
"…Asmodeus," Daphne realized, a forlorn look crossing her face. "I knew it was too much to hope that he had given up after Tucson. So, now he's sent this thing?"
"Yes… and, according to Lady Pallas, he himself is here in Florida."
"What!?" Flim-Flam and the dogs also joined in as Shaggy and Daphne reacted in stunned shock.
"But… that's all we need!" Scrappy realized. "We can find him and use the Chest on him!"
"It won't be that simple," Vincent warned. "His powers are far greater than any of the other 12—he will need to be weakened before he can be drawn into the Chest. And, at the moment, he refuses to confront me directly, because he knows I'll sufficiently weaken him in a duel. We need to focus on the Time Worm—if anyone falls into one of those tunnels, they'll be lost to the space-time continuum."
"We need to close them up!" Daphne realized.
"I've got barriers on them now, and once people disperse, I'll close them with the Time Scepter—I brought that with me, too," Vincent promised. "The problem is, if you wish for my powers to remain a secret from your friends, you'll need to keep them away from me while I do this."
"I got nothing." Andrew said.
"While the gang go around looking for 'clues', Asmodeus proves himself to be a hypocrite." Mew said.
Elsewhere, concealed in a cliffside cave that had been magically furnished with comforts and essentials, Asmodeus, the Demon King, scowled as he observed the happenings at the banquet through his scrying pool. Beside him, Bogel and Weerd stood, trembling as they waited for more orders.
"Bah!" Asmodeus hissed. "Athena once again intervenes—she, no doubt, warned that traitor to my bloodline about the Time Worm!"
"Isn't that what the Olympians do best, though—intervene with stuff?" Bogel asked, innocently.
"Indeed," Asmodeus growled. "Since the days of my youth, the Olympians have found it necessary to interfere with absolutely everything—and they still do so even now, after their time has long passed. I will have my vengeance upon them in due time—on Athena, who locked me into this form, on Hephaestus, who crafted the Chest of Demons to contain me, and on all the others, who scoffed at my power, only to band against me when I turned out to be more powerful than they anticipated… I will make them all rue the day they turned on me. And I will get back at Athena first by bringing her prize acolyte to my side."
"Dude, you turned yourself into an Archdemon when you delved into the forbidden arts." Andrew said.
"What makes this stupid is the fact that he's complaining about the Olympians, despite allying himself with Hades, an Olympian!" Mew pointed out.
"Should've stuck with the Romans." Andrew said.
"So, despite the Time Worm failing the first time around, Asmodeus wants to try again with it, even though Vincent is there to protect the gang, Fred and Velma. And despite never underestimating the gang during the original show nor every episode up to this point, Bogel and Weerd are now underestimating them. Because, of course, those three are holding the Idiot and Villain Ball!" Mew said.
"I think I have something that'll help. Now where is- oh, there it is!" Andrew said, pulling out a meme.
YTP Grinch: Be more funny!
"Well, I mean, yeah, this season doesn't have that type of humor. I mean it's not like the president was made aware of… Hey wait a minute!" Andrew exclaimed, starting to realize the Donphan in the room.
"Yep, this episode has officially destroyed us." Mew remarked.
"Where's the meta jokes?!" Andrew shouted.
"...Really? I complained about that earlier. I mentioned that during the review for the episode prior to this one, and yet you just now noticed it?" Mew asked.
"Yes." Andrew said bluntly.
"What were you doing that caused you to not notice that red flag until now?" Mew asked.
"Draining my ears out." Andrew said.
"...I got nothing," Mew said.
Notes:
The names of Daphne's parents seem to change with each adaptation/timeline, particularly Mr. Blake. I went with Elizabeth for Mrs. Blake, as that was what Mr. Blake addressed her as in "No Thanks, Masked Manx," from The New Scooby and Scrappy Show, two series prior to 13 Ghosts. As for Mr. Blake, I went with George (his name in the "Behind the Scenes" featurettes early in the WB era) for two main reasons; one, for the Back to the Future reference (as Marty McFly's father is named George), and the other reason will eventually be revealed in-story.
"Never mind, I got something to say!" Mew said, slapping his paw on the table.
"What?" Andrew asked in the background, draining his ear from what was left of earwax.
"If you're going to use the name 'Elizabeth' from The New Scooby and Scrappy-Doo Show, then you should've stuck with Nedley, which was used in the same era. Using the name 'George', just because it was used in a featurette, the same featurette that states that Velma had an older sister no one talks about, Shaggy having weight issues, and Scrappy's existence being covered up, isn't something that would work if you're going to use two different names." Mew said.
"Just because Marty's dad's name is George, doesn't mean Daphne's dad should be either!" Andrew said.
"This can't get worst, right?" Mew asked.
As time ticked on, the guests at the banquet began to leave; the worry of the Time Worm coming back was enough to put an end to the festivities, much to Dr. Midori's disappointment. Nevertheless, he went home with his family and his two friends, stopping to thank Shaggy for helping Velma with the search—and hoping that they wouldn't find any evidence that might delay or cancel the launch.
Mew had a look of utter rage on his face.
"Uhhhhhhhhh, Let me splice two clips together for a joke." Andrew said.
Jonah J. Jameson: *Laughs for a few moments before putting on a straight face* You're serious?
Bender: Let me laugh even harder. AAAAHAHAHAHAH"
Andrew bursts out in laughter. "We were cheated out of a non-Disney Doctor Strange movie by Sam Raimi." Andrew said.
"I'm gonna say some stuff while bringing up a tragedy. But first, I'm getting this out of my system." Mew said, charging up a Hyper Beam from his mouth.
DBZA Perfect Cell (Andrew's name over Cell's face): Oh how cute. He named it— OH SHIT!
1 Minute Later
The place looked like a warzone. Andrew, on the ground, groaned in pain.
"That's gonna hurt in the morning. That is, if I feel anything in the morning." Andrew said.
"Now that I got that out of my system, let's bring up the Challenger incident. For those who don't know, the Challenger incident happened in 1986, the day that things happened for the worst, and, seemingly, right out of nowhere.
"However, if anyone takes the time to do research, then they would know that there were many red flags that led up to that moment, and nobody saw it until the last second. Besides the weather, the parts of the ship were needing some repairs, yet NASA didn't properly do that. The fact that NASA should've done more tests for said parts. The fact that during the launch preparations, there were noticeable plumes from parts of the ship where it shouldn't be coming from, which isn't a good sign, and yet no one made any indications that they saw it. Whether or not NASA was suffering from pressure due to multiple missions, or it was just their work ethics, none of that matters.
"All that did matter was that at the worst possible moment, the ship exploded in a blaze, not of glory, but of death, tragedy, and liquid nitrogen. And it was due to that, and later on, the Columbia incident in 2003, that NASA, and the USA, made massive changes to prevent the same thing from happening.
"America started to take pressure off NASA by changing the mission structure so they wouldn't have that pressure on them. NASA themselves changed their procedures on safety, launches and their missions. They even made a Safety branch in their program, for crying out loud!" Mew exclaimed, before taking a deep breath.
"The reason why I'm explaining this is because it's infuriating that Rose of Pollux would have anyone from NASA hope that the gang doesn't find evidence of sabotage just so the project wouldn't be delayed or canceled. Because, if anything, the Challenger and Columbia incidents are the biggest examples of why NASA should delay a project, or cancel it until a later date, just to make sure that no one dies.
"Which is why I said that she should've put this in the 70s, the time period the original show took place in. Because if she's going to have NASA of today act like how they did in the 1900s, before the Challenger incident, then clearly, putting the second season in the 70s would be the smart decision." Mew said.
"That is why I say 'I defy you, Heartman!'" Andrew said.
"So, after talking about that tragedy, we have to mention the other tragedy: Vincent having no brain cells." Mew said.
"You're sure that thing will show up here and not at the base where the others are?" Shaggy asked.
"Quite sure," Vincent said. "Once it digs out of the space-time continuum, the worm is still limited by what substrate it can pass through—the solid floors of the base will be impossible for it to dig through. But that doesn't mean that the others are invulnerable; Asmodeus can still send other things to attack them." He sighed, silently chiding himself for not starting Daphne on her spellcasting lessons sooner. "Hopefully, Daphne will have the foresight to contact me if there's any sort of trouble…"
"What is this place?!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Easy." Mew said.
Tigger: A brain drain.
"Where did you get that?" Andrew asked.
"YouTube poops." Mew said.
Andrew burst into laughter, mainly due to remembering said YouTube poops. "Pooh, Blood and Honey would've been a very different movie if these were in it." Andrew said.
"Vincent, NASA doesn't have a plan for magic. Their base is earthquake-proof, not giant sand worm that can break the time-space continuum just by digging-proof. And it's time to bring back this classic." Mew said.
DBZA Frieza: You're being stupid. Why are you being stupid?! Stop being stupid!
"I didn't know you listened to the lizard from Spooder Min." Andrew said.
"He can't be the Lizard. He's not a scientist." Mew said.
"Apparently he's smarter than the average men in his army." Andrew said.
"...Would that be before or after he brought in the Ginyu Force?" Mew asked.
"After someone comments how we know about Spooder Min." Andrew said.
"It's called the internet. Does anyone expect us to live under a rock? I'm more baffled about how Pooh is still blocked in China. Then again, China didn't have to suffer with the rest of us when Pooh, Blood and Honey was released. Lucky Chinese," Mew grumbled under his breath.
"Yeah, they got the Little Mermaid Remake that, last I checked, wasn't doing well in their theatres." Andrew said.
"Again, they're lucky. They only got stuck with the worst version of The Little Mermaid and yet, if Pooh appeared in one scene in Pooh, Blood and Honey, he would get blocked faster than Bob being your uncle." Mew said.
"I don't have an uncle. I think." Andrew said.
"See? China already blocked Pooh before you got your answer." Mew said.
"So, continuing on, the Time Worm bursts out of the ground, and Vincent goes for his Final Fantasy moment. Only for it to fail." Mew said.
"Wait, what?" Andrew asked, shocked.
"Yeah, look at it." Mew said.
The Time Worm emerged, hissing as it looked around, gnashing its pincers.
Flim-Flam stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly.
"Over here, you big bug!" Scrappy barked.
The Time Worm turned towards them, and Vincent seized the moment—
"Temporal Chains!"
The green chains of light appeared around the Time Worm, and Shaggy now attempted to draw the beast into the Chest. But the worm shrieked, bringing up sand and swirling energy from the Time Vortex around it—energy that dissolved the chains on contact.
"What…!?" Vincent gasped, his eyes going wide. It was the first time that spell had ever failed him.
The Time Worm now pulled away from the draw of the Chest, shrieking again, and Vincent regained his poise—
"Blizzara!"
The chilling blizzard served to drive the creature back further; between Vincent's power and Shaggy holding the Chest, the creature decided that Asmodeus's orders were lower on the priority list. With another shriek, it burrowed into the ground again, into another portal. Vincent quickly sealed the two new portals with the Time Scepter once more.
"Wow, Vince, that thing acted like it was afraid of you!" Flim-Flam commented.
"Once I realized its elemental weakness, yes, it quickly realized I was not to be trifled with," Vincent sighed. "But I should have realized that it could use the energy of the Time Vortex to nullify Temporal Chains… However, being subterranean creature, it still retains a weakness to ice-based magic—"
"So, you know what this means?" Mew asked with a grin.
"Yeah, get Big Chill on the scene." Andrew said.
Jonah J. Jameson: That's pretty good. But it's taken.
"Shit. Guess we're going to call him Doc Ock." Andrew said.
"This isn't Sam Raimi." Mew said.
"No, it's Ted Raimi." Andrew said.
"So, while Vincent sent Shaggy, Scooby, Scrappy and Flim-Flam back to Velma's house, which is weird that he knows where it is, Fred, Daphne and Velma search the NASA base for clues. And Daphne is gung ho that this isn't sabotage, when she could've used that to her advantage so that the gang, i.e., her, Shaggy, Scooby, Scrappy, Flim-Flam and Vincent, have more time to stop the Time Worm and Asmodeus, even at the cost of delaying Velma's project. And while Velma explains about the mission to Mars, Daphne gets a phone call from her parents, causing her to be mad at them for not approving of her job." Mew said with a frown.
"It's my mom and dad again," she said.
"Again?" Velma asked. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm beginning to have my doubts…" Daphne said, taking the call. "What?"
Fred and Velma both stared, surprised at how frosty her voice sounded as she headed into the corridor to take the call.
"Maybe this is why she's sounded so stressed all this time," Velma sighed. "She's never really seen eye to eye with her parents."
"That's because her parents never really approved of the whole 'solving mysteries' thing," Fred added, recalling how George and Elizabeth Blake had, very reluctantly, allowed Daphne to go along with the others on their adventures, hoping that it was a passing interest that wouldn't last.
To the Blakes' chagrin, it hadn't been just a passing interest—and Daphne wanting to make a career out of it had been a very bitter pill for them to take, particularly when she had flatly refused to have anything to do with the family soap company.
Fred and Velma both jumped as they heard Daphne let out an indignant shriek—
"WHAT!? All this time, that's how you've really felt!?"
They awkwardly looked away, trying very hard to focus on something else and not unintentionally eavesdrop on their friend.
Fred suddenly froze as he glanced out the window. Frowning, he headed over to it, looking outside.
"What is it?" Velma asked.
"I thought I saw something," he said. "Two things, actually—they looked like two, glowing, white blurs."
"Headlights of a security vehicle?" Velma offered.
"Maybe…" Fred mused. "But those didn't look like any headlights I've ever seen. They looked vaguely like people." But why would they be glowing…?
Velma shook her head.
"No one can come onto the base without a pass," she pointed out. "If it's not one of our cars, it's a couple of animals—a lot of them have eyeshine at night, you know."
They cringed again as Daphne's voice was raised once more—
"No, there is nothing else to say about this!" she fumed. "Goodbye." To Fred and Velma's surprise, however, Daphne now seemed to be addressing someone else. "And what do you two want!?"
"You know what? This isn't The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo season 2 anymore. This is now Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated season 3. And I'm saying this, regardless of angry comments saying otherwise: that show sucks!" Mew said.
"Will I talk about it in the future? Maybe, as well as Pooh, Blood and Honey and You're a Mean One. Mainly because my co-star wants to make YTP out of them. But let's just get this out of the way: Daphne's parents are supportive of her and her job. Otherwise, why would she invite Shaggy, her boyfriend, to her parents' masquerade ball. You don't do that with a 'just' friend, you do that with romantic partners! As one of the three wise men once said," Mew said.
Billiam: There is absolutely no way that these two weren't *censored/cut to the next scene*
"This? This is their Mystery Incorporated counterparts. And by 'their', I meant Daphne's parents." Mew said.
"Well, Shaphne was once in M.I. for, like, an episode or so." Andrew said.
Mew gave Andrew a death glare. If looks can speak, this one said 'Don't you dare!' and yet no one would hear it anyways, since they go with 'if looks can kill' and Mew wouldn't kill anything anyways due to the cute factor.
"So, Vincent drives off Bogel and Weerd, and he, Daphne, Fred and Velma head back to Velma's house. Ending this chapter and starting the next one with Asmodeus throwing a hissy fit and going from one of the 13 Ghosts to Rita Repulsa while the Time Worm takes his spot." Mew said.
"You're kidding, right?" Andrew asked.
"Nope, he said it himself." Mew said.
Asmodeus glared in fury—first at Bogel and Weerd, and then at the Time Worm.
"Explain to me," he growled. "Just how did all three of you manage to fail in carrying out my instructions!?"
The worm let out a frightened hiss, still shivering from taking Vincent's Blizzara spell head-on.
"What he said, Boss," Bogel gulped.
"Your descendent just has this knack of striking sheer terror into the hearts of whatever he chooses to," Weerd explained.
Asmodeus now let out an angry roar, causing the three to cringe from the ensuing shockwave.
"…Suddenly, it's clear where he gets it from," Bogel added, as he cowered before the Demon King.
"Look, Boss, we tried—I thought you said the worm was supposed to hold off Vincent while we snagged those three kids at the base!" Weerd yelped. "Vincent just showed up before we could even make a move to grab 'em!"
The worm hissed again, as though explaining that it would not have lasted much longer against Vincent's Blizzara spell, nor avoid capture in the Chest.
Asmodeus snarled, glaring back into his scrying pool.
"The traitor continues to vex me," he growled. "Even now, he stands guard not far from where those mortals are staying for the night. I will not be able to get near them."
"You're afraid of him, too, huh?" Weerd noted.
Asmodeus whirled around, seizing the ghost in his clawed hand, prompting Weerd to whimper in utter fright.
"Don't you ever make that assumption again!"
"Y-Yes, Sir!" Weerd squeaked, as Bogel covered his eyes with his hands. "I mean… No, Sir! I mean… Whatever you say, Sir!"
Asmodeus let him drop, and he landed on Bogel, prompting the shorter ghost to let out a pained yelp.
Asmodeus returned to look into the scrying pool once more.
"As long as they hold the Chest of Demons, the Time Worm runs the risk of getting captured if we try an underground attack again," he growled. "Bogel, Weerd—you can bring the girl to me another time; right now, I want you to focus on bringing the Chest to me, by any means necessary."
Andrew had a flat expression on his face. Then he held up a clip.
Lord Zedd: I can't believe that bobblehead said that!
"Where's Lord Fred when you need him?" Andrew said.
Mew covered his co-star's mouth. "No, don't say it!" Mew exclaimed.
However, it was too late as Lord Fred appeared in front of them.
"Aw, damnit, I knew I shouldn't have said that!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Well, do something. I'm not getting Hoopa again. I don't want to owe him another favor." Mew said.
"Well, tough shit!" Andrew said, throwing Mew. Or at least, that's what he thinks. Turns out he threw Brad, who was screaming from Lord Fred's…torture.
"Oh no, not Brad. Oh no." Mew said.
"Emote, mother Fucker, can you do it!" Andrew yelled.
"I'm not emoting for a jackass." Mew said.
"He's no donkey! Neither is he Squidward's Tortellini." Andrew said.
"No, but he's an asshole who torments Ash, Mew, Mewtwo and Newtwo." Mew said.
"He's not an OC?!" Andrew said with a gasp. A few seconds later, Andrew realized something. "Hey, how aren't you suppos-" Andrew began. Only for Mew to blow up from swearing, with Andrew letting out a small scream of surprise, or for those who had a childhood, the LEGO Yoda death scream.
15 Seconds Later
"Those two fail at chest napping, with or without Vincent." Andrew said.
"And that's without it being awake, eating ghosts." Mew snarked.
"Yes-Wait a minute! Has the chest been sentient the whole time right under all our noses!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Essentially, Asmodeus is a moron." Mew said, changing the subject. "And that's a bad thing, given his reputation," he added.
"Can it feel? Is it neutral?" Andrew asked.
Asmodeus had been initially thrilled when, in the early 1600s, he and the other 12 ghosts had found themselves freed from the Chest by his own descendant, a powerful warlock in his own right. But Asmodeus's joy had been short-lived upon seeing the look of horror and revulsion on Vincent's face as he realized what he had unleashed by accident—and soon, he had felt nothing but anger towards Vincent's betrayal, for Vincent had chosen to side with that mortal—Mortifer Quinch—to recapture all of them in the Chest.
And he had done it—though Asmodeus had, at least, ensured it had been a hollow victory by slaying Mortifer before being sealed. That memory was obviously the reason why Vincent was standing guard over those mortal youngsters now—he was determined not to let them suffer the same fate.
Asmodeus sneered. Vincent was willing to try all he wanted; Asmodeus would still find a way to get them out of the way. More than that, he needed Vincent to please Lord Hades; he just needed an opportunity to put all his power into their blood magic bond, and he would be able to control him—he had almost succeeded in fully taking him over the last time; Mortifer had been trying to put a stop to it, which was why Asmodeus had swiftly retaliated against him—that, somehow, had allowed Vincent to break free long enough to seal him.
This time, Asmodeus vowed, the moment he gained any sort of control over Vincent through their blood magic, he would have him strike the mortals down by his own hand without hesitation—and he'd start with Vincent's so-called "heiress." That, surely, would break Vincent once and for all and allow Asmodeus to gain full control over him and deliver him to Hades at last.
…But this was not the opportune moment. Vincent was being extremely vigilant and would fight the moment Asmodeus even attempted to approach him or the others—and it was a fight that, presently, Asmodeus knew he wouldn't be able to win.
He'd waited nearly two years for his revenge—a little longer wouldn't make a difference. And if the Time Worm could end up speeding things up a little, then that was perfectly fine by him.
"Can the audience say hypocrite? Because if they can't, they need to go back to mythology school. FIrst of all, if Asmodeus waited this long for vengeance, then surely, he could've waited a bit longer to actually plan out his strategy instead of going all in." Mew said.
"The only ones you need to please are the toaster, the sentient chest, and, if it's optional to choose a different god to serve, the Scarlet King." Andrew said, listing each thing off with his fingers.
"Which brings us to our second point. Asmodeus wants to please Hades. Despite hating the Olympians. Despite Hades being an Olympian. And for those of you who need a reminder: Hades is a god, the very race whom, in Greek mythos, is referred to as Olympians. Hades is considered one of the BIg Three: three sons of Kronos who rule the sky, sea and underworld. And, in most pieces of media, Hades is still considered a God, even in the Disney movie, and in Kid Icarus Uprising, the very game that Rose of Pollux based the Greek aspects of her second season works for The 13 Ghosts off of." Mew said.
"Hades is known for many things: Maleficent, Zelena, Wonde- wait.
"Apologies, my notes are all over the place. Anyways; Persephone, Cerberus, Wealth via cultural osmosis, and being the supreme judge of the Underworld!" Andrew said.
"Out of all the things Hades is known for, why did you bring up Once Upon A Time? AKA, the time he wasn't a used car salesman or a rock star?" Mew said.
"One; I knew I should've brought up Mal. Two; It infected me. It's like a To'kustar's predator; you never know it's in you until it's too late!" Andrew said.
"I'm not going to touch on your brain virus." Mew comments.
"Anyways, the next morning, the gang head back to NASA. And while the others do whatever they do, Daphne told Vincent about her problems with her parents." Mew said.
"Okay, here goes…" Daphne sighed. "You, um… You mentioned some time back that most of your family before you chose not to awaken their mana and become mages because of Asmodeus, but you decided that you didn't want your talents to go to waste, so you awakened your mana and became a warlock."
"Yes, that's correct."
"…How did your family take your decision?" she asked.
"Well…" Vincent mused, thinking about it. "I imagine, given how young I was at the time I decided that I wanted to cultivate my talents, they were hoping I'd reconsider when I got old enough to start my academy training."
"Did they try to talk you out of it?"
"Oh, most certainly—again and again. However, it was all in vain, for I'd made it clear that this was what I wanted for myself, and I was quite stubborn in my youth—not unlike yourself." He bit back a smirk as she gave him an indignant look. "And I mean that in the best possible way; it is thanks to your tenacity, as well as the others', that I'm alive now—and on more than one occasion, yet."
"Maybe so," she said. "But did your family…? After you started your academy training, did they ever…?"
She kept trailing off, unable to finish her sentence, and Vincent grew concerned; something serious must have just happened between her and her parents for her to completely set aside the Time Worm and instead be completely preoccupied with this.
"Did they… what?" he prompted, gently.
"Did they… ever let it slip that they'd secretly wanted you to fail?" Daphne blurted out.
There was a minute of utter silence in the room as Vincent looked to her in stunned surprise. His expression then softened, and he offered his left hand—his dominant hand—to her, which she immediately grabbed; though she struggled to keep calm, the warlock could feel her trembling.
"I fear you aren't speaking hypothetically," he sighed.
She shook her head.
"I really thought my parents had moved past this," she said. "Especially after all the arguments and discussions we'd had after I'd turned 18 about how I didn't want to be in the corporate world. Solving mysteries and chasing ghosts is who I am! Sitting around in a drab office all day isn't me!"
"It would be a waste to see you end up like that," Vincent agreed. "Especially if you knew you wouldn't enjoy it."
"Right! Being an investigative reporter would let me solve mysteries for a living—it did once I managed to convince my parents to let me go for it—or, at least, I thought I had convinced them." She sighed. "They'd called yesterday…" She stared at the wall. "I told them last night when they called me at the banquet that Shaggy and I had passed our performance reviews at the Chronicle a couple months ago and that we'd become full-fledged members of their investigative reporting team, ready to write an article for the launch. …I was expecting a 'Good job' or a 'Well done,' but my father didn't say anything, and my mother just let out this disappointed 'Oh…' noise. When they called back again later last night while I was here at the base, I asked her what that was supposed to mean." A frown crossed her face. "She said, 'Don't you think you've spent enough time doing this silly journalism bit? You gave it a try, but now it's time to come home and help run the family business.' My father added that he'd expected that I would have lost interest by now—that he and Mom had expected me to come home after giving it a try all this time. Well, naturally, I was furious—I asked if they really weren't proud that the Chronicle had hired Shaggy and me. You know what Mom said!? 'We were expecting that you would come home after you saw that you weren't meant to be a journalist—in fact, we were banking on it.' They really just decided that they didn't want to fight me on the topic and let me go when I was 18—but they'd wanted me to fail! They'd wanted me to just give up on my dreams so that I'd do what they wanted!"
"What did you tell them after that?" Vincent asked.
"Nothing—I hung up, and then those ghosts showed up," Daphne admitted. "They tried calling back, but I refused to take the call. There's more, too; Mom and Dad are putting the old house up for sale since it's mostly going unused—but it's obvious that the real reason is so that I can't stay there and would have to go back and live with them, or try to get a place of my own—which they would have to cosign, since I'd be a first-time renter. Thankfully, they don't know about you and the castle." She gave a satisfied smirk. "Little do they know that going back to Blake Manor would be a step down from Castle Van Ghoul. Anyway, I told them to go ahead and put the house up for sale—if you can teleport me there after this whole mess with the Time Worm is over so that I can pick up the rest of my stuff, I'd appreciate it. The others, too—they have things stored there. I know I'll be okay, but… I feel so betrayed. I thought that everything was finally fine—when we visited the manor for the masquerade party, my parents didn't even bring it up at all; I really thought it was all behind us…"
"Then why would you take your boyfriend and his dogs to your parents' costume PaRtY!" Andrew roared, before breaking down in anger.
"Like I said, this is Mystery Incorporated season 3. In other words, cue the intro from the best show ever." Mew said.
Eric Andre: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" *CRASH*
"So, Daphne tries to use her relationship with Vincent to replace her parents. Because Daphne lost her brain cells and outright says, 'Who needs parents?'." Mew said.
" I can't do this anymore. Modern Scoob killed me. This is my life now." Andrew said.
"So, Vincent Price, I mean, Vincent Van Ghoul decides to be rational for once and tells Daphne to not make an emotional decision she'll regret later on, like cutting her parents out of her life. Instead, he tells her to give her parents a chance to properly apologize, as this whole situation is based on emotions, not logic. And he got through to her, not by words of forgiving her parents, but by bringing up the aftermath of his incident from Hyrule." Mew said.
"Far be it from me to tell you what to do," Vincent added. "But I would, at least, give them the chance to apologize before you sever those ties. In the end, of course, the choice is yours—and I will stand by whatever you decide. But I offer this advice as someone who went through something similar." He exhaled.
Daphne looked at him, questioningly.
"You're not talking about Asmodeus now, are you?" she realized. "You're talking about someone else."
"Yes," Vincent admitted. "I wasn't much older than you when I had that duel on the mountaintop in that other dimension. And you know what happened once I realized the danger my powers could cause."
"You pushed your old gang away," she recalled. "But I thought Mr. Voudini stayed in touch with you, and most of the others…" She trailed off. "…Is… is this why we haven't spoken to Miranda Muir in the two years we've known you? …You haven't spoken to her since… all the way back then, over 1,900 years!? But… why!?"
"There was an added layer to our relationship that complicated matters," Vincent said, after a moment. "…Before this all happened, Miranda and I were engaged."
"…Oh, no…"
"Very aptly put," Vincent sighed. "Words were exchanged between us—sharp ones. We broke it off, and we simultaneously decided that the best course of action was to put some distance between us. As time went on, neither of us seemed to drum up the nerve to try to rebuild the bridge we burned—in spite of the others trying to act as go-betweens. She and I haven't spoken since."
"I'm so sorry," Daphne said, as she hugged him again.
"I appreciate the sentiments, but the point I'm trying to make is that you don't want to have any regrets," Vincent said, returning the hug again. "As I said, I'll stand by whatever you decide, but you will think about it?"
"I will," she promised. "I'll keep it in mind."
"And that's all I could ever ask of you," Vincent replied, with a smile.
And Daphne smiled back. There was still much to think and worry about, but at least she felt slightly better about the whole ordeal.
"These two are completely different scenarios with different outcomes. One of those doesn't have you throwing Ganondorf through a mountain. Instead, it's about the author creating familial conflict to shove this dynamic with no consequences!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Sorry about him, but Doug Walkers infected him. We tried every vaccine, including the AVGN. We even tried the Bat Credit Card. We're getting some progress, so hopefully he'll be cured of the Doug Walkers disease. But more importantly, he's right.
"In this continuity, Vincent pushed away his friends to protect them. What happened between him and Miranda is that she was upset that he treated her like she was fragile, when, given the combo of Asmodeus and the witch hunts, Vincent is right to push her away to protect her, yet that led to an argument that caused them to not talk to each other because…because.
"In the show proper, Vincent, Voudini, Boris and Byron just drifted apart, due to having their own lives to live. And yet, they seem to be in contact, given the latter three have no reaction to Vincent hanging out with the gang, which, given the circumstances Rose of Pollux made, one would think they would react to Vincent being open with other people again. The only person who had issues with Vincent is Boris, and as stated in that episode, it was because he was jealous that Vincent kept getting the ladies when they were in school.
"The only friend Vincent had lost is Mortifer. And, yes, we like to head-canon that those shadow demons did something irreversible to Mortifer. Only logical answer to explain why he wants to sell the Chest of Demons despite knowing the harm it can do, and how he managed to suppress Vincent's magic temporarily when it was stated that all he can do is make illusions." Mew said.
"The whole issue with Daphne's parents, however, isn't the same. Daphne wants to cut her parents out of her life, just because Rose of Pollux decided to replace Daphne's parents from the original-era with their Mystery Incorporated counterparts." Mew said.
"Essentially, she makes one non dating relationship look bad so that the other looks like the better alternative." Andrew said.
"In a nutshell, yes." Mew said.
"So, Daphne told Shaggy about her talk with Vincent. And you know what they decided to plan on? Getting Vincent and Miranda back together, regardless of whether the two magical people want to be back together or not." Mew said.
Shaggy had noticed that Daphne seemed slightly less upset than before, and it didn't take much to figure out why.
"You talk to Mr. V about all the stuff going on with your parents?" he asked, quietly.
She nodded.
"He knows where I'm coming from—which is probably why he advised me not to be too quick to shut them out of my life," she admitted.
"…Miranda?" Shaggy asked.
Daphne looked to him in surprise.
"He told you?"
"Not directly, no; I kinda figured it out when I saw the portrait of them together in his family gallery—you didn't see it?"
Daphne shook her head.
"I don't think I've really taken a close look at those portraits," she admitted.
"Oh. Well, this one was of the two of them when they were both around our age—they were posing like she was going to join the family… but she didn't because of a bad breakup."
"They were engaged—he just told me," Daphne confirmed. "And yes, it was a bad breakup."
"Yeah, I had a feeling," Shaggy sighed. "Poor Mr. V."
"And poor Miranda," Daphne added. "I think the sad part about it is that it isn't really anyone's fault—except maybe that other warlock that attacked Vincent on the mountaintop. Vincent must've been really shaken up by what had happened, and he was terrified of hurting her by accident. Only he ended up accidentally hurting her in a different way."
"…You know, I know it's not a good sign when we start thinking along the same lines as Flim-Flam, but…" Shaggy began.
"…Are you thinking that we try to get them back together?" Daphne asked, her eyes wide.
"It's just a thought," Shaggy said. "And maybe 'back together' isn't the plan here—at least get them back on speaking terms with each other for now? Something to think about after this thing with the Time Worm is all over…"
"First of all, when has Flim-Flam's way of thinking been considered a bad thing? Because the original show had stated that it was a good thing. Heck, even The 13 Curses, which I hate giving that movie any praise at all, shows that Flim-Flam's way of thinking is a good thing." Mew said.
"Well, at least before the Lycanthrophy Retcon." Andrew said.
"Oh yeah. Shoving The Ghoul School into the second season, but retconning the entire movie, and the original show. Including the fact that Daphne is cured of werewolfism." Mew said.
"Hell, since she brought Ganondorf in this, why not bring in other villains that would be better replacements for Revolta. Like Galvanax, Zombozo, hell, even Slappy the Doll. At least one of these villains might use the monsters for a twisted attraction." Andrew said.
"And two, Shaggy and Daphne are smarter than this. Surely, they should've noticed that their plan of getting Vincent and Miranda to get back together, or even talk has one huge flaw in it: centuries passed since that argument that ruined their relationship in the first place, and yet Vincent and Miranda had not once tried to talk to each other during those centuries.
"Not to mention, their method isn't going to work anyways. You can't force people to talk to each other or get back with each other after they ended their relationships. The people who ended their relationship are the only ones who decide how things are going to go from that point onwards, so given how Vincent and Miranda haven't talked to each other in centuries, it's clear they had moved on.
"At least, that would be the point that would ring true, but given this continuity, we all know that what I just said falls flat on its face, and that Miranda and Vincent want to be with each other again, but due to their own reasons, they decide not to. And yet, somehow, Daphne will be proven right about the two should be back in a relationship, because that's how this works now.
"You know, in the original show, Vincent was never interested in a romantic relationship, right? And even if he was, he would at least wait until the 13 ghosts were dealt with before pursuing a relationship, so this whole thing fails from day one." Mew said.
"So, after that stupid conservation, Fred takes Shaggy with him to take a look around the base. The reason why: because he saw the same strange lights he saw the night prior. At least someone is thinking of everyone's safety. Unlike a certain skeptic and her superiors." Mew said.
"I thought I saw something outside the window," Fred informed him. "I saw it last night, too. It's probably nothing, but given everything that's at stake here, I think we should check it out."
"Like, shouldn't we tell Velma?" Shaggy asked, his eyes going wide.
"I don't want to have them have to delay or call off the launch over potentially nothing," Fred said. "Base security is pretty tight, as Velma said—the chances of someone getting in who shouldn't be are pretty low."
"And you lost any respect I was giving you. Seriously, is everyone in this story just spitting on the Challenger, or is this story a roast on the Challenger? Either way, we're roasting a tragedy, and that's not funny, nor a good thing." Mew said.
"Hold on, I got something funny." Andrew said, holding up a clip.
YTP Fred: Shh. *Opens door to see a black abyss with the captions 'Fred's Door Mini Collab'* Son of a bitch.
"So after that bit of comedy," Mew said, while Andrew died laughing in the background, "Fred and Shaggy go looking for glowing things."
"I get it now!" Andrew said from the background, still laughing.
"So, while Fred describes the glowing things he saw, Shaggy realizes that it's Bogel and Weerd. And then the conservation shifts to how nice Vincent is." Mew said.
"Wow, way to go off-track." Andrew commented.
YTP Fred: That's a bit sussy.
Bentley: Enough!
"Of course, Bogel and Weerd show up, taunt Shaggy and Fred for a bit, then kidnap, or in this case, Fred-napped Fred." Mew said.
"This was never about the launch…" he realized, turning to Shaggy. "This is about you guys, isn't it? You got on someone's bad side during one of your investigations, and Mr. Van Ghoul has been helping you!"
"…More or less…" Shaggy whimpered. "C'mon, Freddie, we've gotta get back to where it's safe—"
"But these are just intimidation tactics, right? Ghost projections?" Fred asked. "The ones behind these two have to be in the building somewhere—"
"Projections!?" Bogel scoffed, insulted. "Sir, I did not die on the streets of New Orleans at the hands of a pair of monster catwomen to be called a projection!"
Shaggy and Fred exchanged equally baffled glances now—this was news to Shaggy, who hadn't really thought too much to Bogel and Weerd's pasts.
"…Monster catwomen—?" Shaggy gulped.
"Forget that," Weerd sneered. "Just hand over the Chest, and no one gets hurt!"
"But I don't have it!" Shaggy exclaimed.
"What are they talking about? What Chest?" Fred asked, glancing back at Shaggy in confusion.
"The Chest of Demons, of course!" Bogel exclaimed.
"Ah, nevermind, Bogel; it's clear that there's only one way to persuade them to hand it over," Weerd said, a smirk growing on his features. "We'll have to make a deal—give 'em something they'd want in exchange for it!"
A feeling of utter dread now filled Shaggy's heart as he realized what the ghosts were planning.
"Freddie, run!" he yelled, tightening his grip on his friend's arm, trying to pull him away from the ghosts.
"What—?" Fred began, but as he glanced back at the ghosts, he let out a cry of alarm as he saw them, swooping in at him.
Each of them grasped one of his arms, and despite Shaggy also still holding onto one of Fred's arms, when the ghosts teleported away, Fred teleported away with them, leaving Shaggy holding onto empty air.
"On the streets of- on the streets o- On ThE sTrEeTs Of NeW oRlEaNS!"" Andrew screamed, before going on a destructive rampage.
"Great, this episode broke him." Mew said.
2 Hours Later
Andrew is hanging upside down, tied up in zip ties, ropes…and three thousand tons of metal.
"Yikes, he got you bad," Mew said, looking at the damage Registeel sustained from the 2 hour long rampage.
"Yep. I should change my name to Regirust." Registeel said, coughing in pain, and coughing out dust.
"Well, it's a good thing Regidrago managed to sedate him." Mew said.
"Will he be out of commission, sire?" Regidrago asked.
"For the next chapter. But this chapter proved a point that we had been suspecting for a while: that in trying to fix the problem, this season, and another person's work, has become the very problem. That, and ROse of Pollux should've not set herself up for a third season." Mew said.
"Let's go back to the year of 2019, when everyone was pissed off at The 13 Curses both for lying about being a conclusion to the original show, and for Warner Bros. trying to retcon the ghosts as being hallucinations caused by less oxygen. However, before talking about the movie that came after, which was hated even more than The 13 Curses, let's go back even further to the year of 1998, when one of the biggest lies in history was advertised: Zombie Island.
"As you all know, that movie was advertised as 'monsters being real for the first time', despite the fact that the 70s-80s era of Scooby-Doo has real monsters. But that's not the reason why I brought the movie up. In fact, it's the villains of the movie that I'm bringing up: Simone, Lena and Jacques. AKA, the catpeople. The first two being referenced and caused the two hour rampage courtesy of my co-star.
"The reason why I bring this up is because no one knew they were catpeople. First of all, if people knew about Simone and Lena, then they wouldn't have sent Detective Neville in by himself, they would've used military powers to take them down. Heck, Lena is able to walk down New Orleans just fine, and nobody bats an eye, so that means no one knows who they are.
"Two, the killings were private. The people who died on the island were drained of their souls, and their empty bodies were dumped into rivers, where they got eaten by gators. The only reason why New Orleans sent Neville to do undercover work was because they noticed the huge amounts of disappearances on the island, and suspected Simone, Lena and Jacques of foul play. And, as stated, if they knew the truth, they would've brought in the military to help stop them.
"And three, Simone and Lena aren't sadists. Jacques is, and I'll get to that point soon, but Simone and Lena aren't Jack the Ripper. They were stuck in a bad situation, and their attempts to fix that caused them to get more than what they bargained for.
"They wanted to get payback on Morgan Moonscar and his crew for killing their village. Only to find out that they have to take other people's souls to keep living or die a terrible death. So, for years, they had to keep draining people's souls, slowly losing their innocence until they're desensitized to that kind of action. And yet, they end up dying a worse death anyways.
"As for Jacques, he wanted to be immortal. He didn't care about killing others, as long as he got to live. So, he can burn in the River of Flames for all I care.
"The point I'm making is that when the sequel for that film came out, people were pissed. Not because of the gang's ages, somewhat not because of the 'swamp gas' theory, though it did cause a lot of anger. No, it was because of the massive amounts of retcons for the original film, while trying to make Moonscar's treasure a plotpoint and having Alan Smithy get away with attempting to make a film sensationalizing a tragedy to make a quick buck, then stealing said treasure, which is essentially blood money, thus no one would want it once they know its origin.
"So, in a nutshell, the reason why this episode is breaking me is because, just like Warner Bros. of 2019, Rose of Pollux is using a tragedy's surface level to poke fun, or even spit at them, while ignoring the deeper levels. Which is bad, because those deeper levels, if shown and talked about, would tell a different story. Heck, the internet unintentionally made 9/11 a joke, and that's due to roasting on MysteriousMrEnter for his review on Turning Red, so it seems like we're making any tragedies that shaped the world into a joke.
"My co-star, on the other hand, is pissed off that Rose of Pollux is bringing the movie he considered a lie, and hates for being overhyped, into the second season of a show that only dealt with 13 of the most powerful demons." Mew said, finishing his long-winded explanation.
"So, to help us move along, we brought our good old friend, Tim." Mew said, holding up a clip.
Tim the Enchanter: Yes, get on with it.
Chowder: All right, jeez.
"So Fred gets caught by Bogel and Weerd, only to be saved by Vincent." Mew said.
*The End card cues up*
Daffy: *pushing the card off screen* NOOO! NOOOOOOOO!
"Fine, it's not that simple." Mew said, rolling his eyes. "Thanks a lot, Daffy," he muttered under his breath.
"So, Bogel and Weerd tied Fred up while revealing to him their plan." Mew said.
Fred let out another yelp of alarm as he found himself now lying facedown on a cold, metal floor.
"Who are you two guys!?" he demanded. "What do you want with me!? And where are we!?" He tried to get up, but soon found himself forced back down by an ice-cold hand upon his back.
"Pipe down, will ya!?" Weerd sneered at him, as he held him down. "Bogel, get me the rope you brought!"
"Here it is," the shorter ghost said, watching as Weerd now used it to tie Fred up. "But, uh, are you sure this will work?"
"It can't miss," Weerd insisted. "We trade Blondie here for the Chest—and since they've got a very limited window in which to act, they'll do whatever they'll have to in order to save him before time runs out."
"Time!?" Fred repeated.
"C'mon, let's go tell 'em the terms of our agreement," Weerd went on, ignoring Fred. He teleported out, and Bogel teleported after him.
Now alone, Fred struggled against the ropes holding him, but they were far too tight to slip out of. Deciding to get his bearings instead, Fred managed to turn over on his back, looking around.
Everywhere around him was metal—and, next to him, was a robotic rover, complete with weather measuring probes, that had Minerva printed upon it.
He stared at it for a moment as the full horror of his situation sunk in, now fully understanding what Weerd had meant by there being only a limited amount of time for the others to respond.
Somehow, he was in the rocket—and it would be blasting off in mere minutes.
"...That's dumb. What would happen if they didn't get the Chest of Demons or if they decided not to get Fred? They have the wrath of Vincent to deal with then, which would ruin their plan.
"And wouldn't you know it, they brought the wrath of Vincent, after attempting to bargain for the Chest of Demons." Mew said.
"Where's Fred!?" Daphne snapped. "What did you do to him!?"
"He's perfectly safe! …Well, for the moment, anyway," Bogel informed her.
"T-minus 60 seconds."
"And if you want him to stay that way, you've got exactly that long to hand over the Chest before Blondie goes into orbit!'" Weerd taunted.
"WHAT!?" Velma shrieked. She turned to the viewing window, staring at the rocket on the launchpad. "Freddie's inside the rocket!? How!?"
"You didn't…!" Shaggy gasped, his voice cracking, as Scooby and Scrappy both growled at the ghosts.
"T-minus 30 seconds."
"Oh, we did!" Weerd grinned, relishing the moment. "So, what's it going to be? The Chest, or your friend?"
"This is a new low for both of you creeps!" Flim-Flam fumed.
"But it's effective!" Weerd boasted, noting the broken expression on Daphne's face. "Come on, Missy! You've got 15 seconds to decide!"
"Uh, Weerd…?" Bogel asked, staring at Vincent with absolute terror.
Weerd froze as he saw the expression of tranquil fury on the warlock's face, his hand still in his cape pocket.
"T-minus 10… 9… 8…."
"Uh, wait just a—" Weerd began, but he was cut off as Vincent now drew the Time Scepter from his cape.
"Total Temporal Freeze!" Vincent called, switching the Scepter to it "Time Freeze" setting. As it had once before—the last time he had used the Time Scepter—the entire space-time continuum was put into stasis, and everything stopped.
"1.) Bogel and Weerd just complained to Asmodeus the night prior that Vincent was there, with the Time Scepter Surely, they knew their plan would've failed unless they stole the Time Scepter to ensure their victory, which they clearly didn't. How did they lose their brain cells overnight?
"2.) Vincent didn't had to keep a charade of being a normal person when Daphne, Shaggy, Scrappy and Scooby first met him in the first episode of the original show. He clearly didn't did so with Flim-Flam prior to the show. So why did he need to do so with Fred and Velma, who had dealt with a hassle at Dracula's castle, the ghost of the Nutcracker Scoob, and a djinn?
"And 3.), who idea was it to start the launch of the rocket when everyone isn't present? For all they know, Fred could've been taken to the launchpad by nefarious people and presumably been burned to death. This story is spitting on the Challenger incident, and I don't want to hear someone tell me otherwise, because NASA is better than this.
"This is why this story should've taken place in the 1970s, the time placement of the original show. Because clearly, Rose of Pollux had two options between having NASA act from the 1970s with this level of stupidity or have them be their current selves, and she picked both. Yet, this isn't the right option. You can't have your cake and eat it, Rose of Pollux." Mew ranted before taking a deep breath.
"So, after Vincent freezes time, he goes to save Fred. Guess how long that takes?" Mew asked.
An instant later, he had teleported to the interior of the capsule, a new wave of anger threatening to break through as he saw Fred bound on the floor, a look of panic and desperation on his face as he had, undoubtedly, been coming to grips with his fate.
Vincent now waved a hand across Fred's face, breaking him free from the effects of the Time Freeze. Fred, now un-paused, continued holding back the panicked cry he'd been trying to suppress, but he stopped as he now noticed Vincent standing above him.
"Please—!" he began, not even sure how he'd got there.
Fred was cut off again, though, as Vincent now drew out his emerald pendant, aiming a beam from it at the ropes binding Fred. The ropes fell away in an instant.
"…How…?" he began, utterly stunned.
Vincent didn't reply; he merely extended a hand to Fred, who took it. And as Vincent helped him to his feet, they teleported back to the control room, causing Fred to gasp in surprise again.
"What's happened to everyone!?" he exclaimed, still confused and shaken from his narrow escape. "And what happened to me!?" He stared at Bogel and Weerd. "They were the ones who…"
"Yes, I imagine you are desperate for an explanation," Vincent said, now calm that the danger had passed.
"You think!?"
"You'll get one, I'm sure," Vincent assured him. "But, first…"
He set the Time Scepter setting back to "Present," and now everyone and everything became un-paused.
"7… 6… 5… 4…"
"For those who guess a single second, Brandon Tenold got you covered." Mew said.
Brandon: I was kidding!
"So, after that, Bogel and Weerd asked a stupid question, and got a rant in return." Mew said.
"Uh… Weerd, what now?" Bogel asked.
"Um, well…"
"What now!?" Daphne suddenly snapped, coming out of her trance. "WHAT NOW!? The two of you dare to stand there and have the gall to ask that!?" She took a step towards the ghosts—and they, intimidated, drew back. "I've put up with the two of you doing a lot of terrible things—but I will not stand for the two of you hurting my friends anymore! You've done it far too many times already, and I should've locked you in the Chest the moment the two of you almost let Vincent become a statue! And if I ever see you anywhere near any of my friends again, I'll seal you in that Chest so fast…" She trailed off. "…Why wait? Vincent, give me the Chest, please."
"1.) It was Rankor who almost turned Vincent into a statue, not Bogel and Weerd. The gang already knew that Bogel and Weerd couldn't be trusted during that episode, and yet they reluctantly did so, albeit handcuffing Bogel and Weerd to Scoob and Shag, to ensure that they wouldn't sabotage the attempt.
"2.) The gang were more focused on saving Vincent that they didn't care that Bogel and Weerd managed to escape, because of A.) Rankor ruining his own plan due to thinking that Bogel and Weerd betrayed him and attacked them, thus the gang managed to get the thing they needed to save Vincent from those two, B.) Vincent was saved from being turned into a statue, and C.) Rankor was caught in the Chest of Demons. Are we seriously going to say that the gang, particularly Daphne, feels guilty that they prioritized Vincent's well-being over catching Bogel and Weerd? Because in the episode, they didn't mind that Bogel and Weerd escaped, they were just glad that Vincent was safe.
"And 3.), is Daphne really prioritizing Fred and Velma's safety over the gang's own well-being?! Because if that's what Rose of Pollux is doing-no, scratch that, that is what she's been doing the whole time: making Daphne a shell of herself, someone who puts others above herself, and from what I'm seeing, that's not a good thing. No wonder Daphne's parents, in this story, wants her to join the family business: it's not because they want her to fail, regardless of what Rose of Pollux claims in this chapter, but because they fear that at this point, Daphne is suicidal!" Mew exclaimed, taking deep breaths.
"However, with the NASA launch over and done with, we had reached the end of the sands of space. Now, we move onward to the sands of time. …After a commercial break." Mew said.
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
This episode has been brought to you by the #SaveScrappy foundation.
Since the very beginning, Scooby Doo has become the face of Saturday Morning Cartoons since 1969. However, by The Scooby Doo Show, ratings have declined significantly. So to solve this crisis, the showrunners introduced the most fan-splitting character to save it. And thus, Scrappy Cornelius Doo, Scooby's nephew.
His start to fame had a few rough patches. Not helped by the fact that the show had more misses than hits. But by the 80s, the show got better, and so did he.
Of course, he's become a punching bag by many. But it seems that those that likes the character have stood up to the haters and defended this puppy. Hell, even the neutral party has agreed that haters have gone too far.
And thus, this movement was made. To spread the word and getting Scrappy the help he needs. Sadly, there are still those who will start fights with others over this.
"Like we interrupt our program with a special editorial from the Critical Mew show. Here is our correspondent Andrew reporting from the Department of Television no-nos." Mew said, holding up a sign that read 'Special Editorial from the Critical Mew show'.
"I'm here with TV no no expert Loretta Ms cut it off. I believe you have some concerns about the show thus far." Andrew said, wearing a trench coat, a hat and holding up a microphone. Said trench coat had 'Ben 10 Ominverse' stitched on the inside, because he got staple poisoning.
"Yes, Mr. C*censored*n. We must caution you in the use of a controversial character in the previous commercial." Ms Cut It Out said.
"Oh so you want to take all the children out of the media? You got something against puppies?" Andrew said with a frown.
"No, no, no, no, no, no. It's just that Scrappy is hated and should be avoided being talked about in times like this." Ms. Cut It Out tried to reason.
"Don't try to talk your way out of it, Miss Cut It Out! Admit it, this is just so people like you can feel better about yourselves everyday!" Andrew declared, walking towards Ms. Cut It Out, who backed herself into a wall.
"You don't understand," Ms. Cut It Out tried to explain.
"I sure do, you want to cut out this honest self-respecting puppy and put him out of work. What's he gonna do? He's gotta eat, he's got an uncle to feed. Have you been down to the unemployment office lately?" Andrew said.
"I-I didn't realize," Ms. Cut It Out said, letting out a single tear.
"Of course you didn't. So next time you want to cut something out, Ms. Cut It Out, I hope you'll think twice. Because this amounts to child abuse and animal abuse. Look at what you guys did to him." Andrew said, holding up a picture of Scrappy with scars on his body, having tears in his eyes.
And then, for some reason, Regidrago popped out of nowhere and played some sad music…on the world's tiniest viola.
"Why hath thou force me to play this tiny thing?" asked Regidrago.
"Shhh. Let the emotion flow right out of them." Andrew said.
"I'm so sorry." Ms. Cut It Out said while crying.
"That's better. Now back to the Newsroom. Andrew's news signing off." Andrew said.
"Wait, hadn't this already happened before?" asked Regidrago.
"Dude, shut up." Andrew said.
"Also, why does thou nametag have the name 'Heather' on it?" Regidrago asked.
"You've seen nothing!" Andrew shouted, running off into the distance.
"This has been an editorial from the Critical Mew show. And now, for something completely the same." Mew said, holding up the sign from before.
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
"Better, now that you got your meta-humor out of the way?" Mew asked Andrew.
"What happened?" Andrew asked.
"Good. So, after the sands of space get launched to Mars, the New Gang Plus tells Fred and Velma about the 13 Ghosts. That's all." Mew said.
"You forgot to mention something, didn't you?" Andrew said with an raised eyebrow.
"Nope. I just neglected to talk about it. But, thanks for saying it, because I like to tear that note apart." Mew said.
"Did I miss something?" Andrew asked no one in particular.
"So, at the end of chapter 6, we got this particular author's note that was used to explain…some of the stuff that was brought up in said chapter." Mew said.
Notes:
Bogel mentioned in Nekara's episode that "[his] old cemetery was right next door" to the one where Nekara wanted to hold the wedding—therefore, New Orleans was where he was buried, and—it's implied—where he died. And yes, his mention of meeting his end at the hands of "monstrous catwomen" in this chapter is significant; the fact that it was New Orleans made it fully possible that he was one of Simone and Lena's many victims; perhaps they'd had trouble that year bringing someone to Moonscar Island in time for the Harvest Moon, and so were forced to go to the mainland to find someone—and Bogel just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I do have vague ideas for a retelling of Zombie Island that would fit my fic 'verse (which would expand on this little tidbit of Bogel's past), but that's long, long ways off (as in, "13 Ghosts: Season 3"), as Asmodeus is meant to be the overarching villain of my Season 2 project.
"I like to point out several things wrong with this note, and the ideas in it, very quickly.
"1.) Bogel only said that he was buried in New Orleans. Neither the episode, nor he, state in any way, implied or explicit, that he died in New Orleans. For all you know, he could've been killed somewhere else in Louisiana, and a family member decided to have him buried in New Orleans to be with any other family members who were buried there. Either that, or the cemetery in New Orleans was the only cemetery in Louisiana at the time.
"2.) Scooby-Doo never touched on whether or not a ghost was once a human or not. For all anyone knows, Bogel and Weerd were born a ghost, and Bogel's line about seeing his grave next door was just him being his usual dumb self. That, and to ghosts, any grave is a house to them and Bogel was dumb enough to say that. This is the same ghost who's been in Tibet for sometime prior to the original show.
"Which brings us to 3.), if Bogel was killed by Simone and Lena, which is another point, then why isn't he stuck on the island like their other victims? For that matter, if that's the case, then how did he meet Weerd, how did they know about the Chest of Demons, why were they in Tibet and why wasn't Bogel stuck on the island, trying to warn Simone and Lena's other victims to leave the island?
"4.) How did Simone and Lena leave their island, went to New Orleans, killed Bogel without being seen, and went all the way back to their island? This point is the reason why I wanted to take apart this whole idea.
"First of all, Bogel put emphasis on 'monstrous catwomen' and Rose of Pollux outright states that it was Simone and Lena that killed Bogel. Which means this was before they recruited Jacques. So, given they had no ferry, and had to cross miles of treacherous swamps and avoid the gators to reach New Orleans, it would've taken them hours, even in their were-cats forms. Which would've killed them, as they needed that time to grab the victims they had on the island, tie them up with voodoo magic, take them to the basement in front of their cat god statue, and drain the victim's souls to stay alive.
"Second of all, you're telling me that no one heard Bogel's screams? As the movie showed, when Simone and Lena explained what they're about to do to their victims, said victims screamed. And, as the flashbacks show, it wasn't a painless process. They got away with it on their island because it was isolated from everything else. Even when Snakebite moved into the swamps, all he cared about was Big Mona. To him, the tourists just got eaten by gators.
"So, unless you're saying that New Orleans was coincidentally deserted during the Harvest Moon, which I highly doubt, by the way, someone would've heard Bogel's screams of fear and death. Then, they would've seen the were-cats and chased them out of the city. And then, you know, have a record or something relating to were-cats. Which didn't happen in the movie.
"Instead, we have undercover cops, ghost pirates, ghost soldiers, ghost dinner, were-cats, cat god and, for some reason, Lena's hot peppers at Spooky Island." Mew said.
"Yeah, and now Scooby and Courage are crossing over once again, but this time, Death Battle decided that it shouldn't be on friendly terms." Andrew said.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It's right up there with the fact that Scooby and Krypto crossover in a movie, but Krypto doesn't talk at all, despite the title." Mew said.
"What else do we have?" Andrew asked.
Intern/Ted Raimi?(Mew's face over his face): Dr. Strange.
Jonah J. Jameson(Andrew's face over his face): That's pretty good. But it's taken.
"The main point I'm making is that if you have an idea, not necessarily a good idea but also not a bad idea, then you should explain the context of your idea while explaining why it should be a thing. Instead of, you know, throwing it in while changing multiple canon stuff just because of a throwaway line nobody remembers and was intended to be a joke." Mew said.
"You know, the running gag that's in nearly every show, period. Because now, Bogel's experience with cat ladies may as well end up like this!" Andrew said.
Norm Macdonald(Bogel's head over his head): You're a worthy adversary. We'll meet again. You know, providing that I survive the series of skin grafts and years of painful physical therapy.
"See? Am I the only one who looks crazy?" Andrew asked.
"That's subjective." Mew said.
"I heard that!" Andrew exclaimed.
"So, we have Asmodeus being mad with Bogel and Weerd for failing him." Mew said.
There was little else for Bogel and Weerd to do other than cling to each other and cower as Asmodeus towered over them in utter fury.
"Do you mean to tell me…" he growled. "You failed again!?"
"It was an almost foolproof plan, Sir!" Weerd sobbed.
"Yeah, we thought that going after one of those other kids would get Vincent to hand over the Chest. Instead, he just used Time Slime's Time Scepter! How were we supposed to know he still had it!?"
"Would that I had Time Slime here instead of you!" Asmodeus snarled. "He would not have failed me as the two of you so continuously seem to do! The two of you are useless to me—absolutely useless!"
"Said the one who needed those two to trick two of the smartest people to open the chest to free your sorry butt, along with your 12 brethren who would betray you in a few seconds. So, it's more of you and your fellow demons constantly failing Bogel and Weerd with your own individual plans and constant backstabbing. So, in the words of asdf movies," Mew said, holding up a clip.
Guy: Oh my god!
Guy: You're an idiot!
"At the rate Ass-Modeus would lose to Nekara, who will love that the silent hills are alive with the sound of music. That, or death, but well, Mr, A. Van Ghoul won't know because…" Andrew said.
YTP Grumpy: *Realizing that he wished away his soup to stop Bull-Heart from doing…something, we guess and letting out a gasp*
Random Voice: You are an idiot!
"So, of course, keeping up with his idiocy record, Asmodeus sends the Time Worm after the New Gang Plus, Velma and Fred, with orders of dealing with Vincent, or else." Mew said.
"So in a nutshell…" Andrew said.
YTP No Heart(With two different voices): Get out…or else!
"Meanwhile, Velma finally began her idiocy." Mew said.
"So…" Fred mused aloud. "How exactly are we going to go about getting this Time Worm?"
"I know what you're thinking, and no, it's not going to work," Daphne sighed. "There's no trap that you'll be able to construct that'll hold that thing—it tunnels through time and space by digging into the space-time continuum, leaving portals behind."
Velma gasped.
"They're wormholes!" she exclaimed, her eyes practically shining. "In every sense of the word!"
"Say what?" Flim-Flam asked.
Velma took a dry-erase marker from the table and drew a circle on the conference room whiteboard.
"Dr. Midori's quantum physicist friend would be able to explain this better than I can," she admitted. "But let's say that this sphere is the space-time continuum. Theoretically, there could be a way for a hole to connect one part of this sphere to the opposite side of it—in science, it's called a wormhole." She drew two lines through the sphere. "And now you're telling me that this Time Worm is making actual wormholes! Jinkies, can you imagine what this could mean for quantum and astrophysics!? We could send probes into it and see where they end up!"
Mew stared at the scene for a few moments. Then, he slowly placed his face on the desk and silently moaned in frustration.
(cut to the moon)
Zedd: I can't believe that bubblehead SAID that!
"None of you should probe that hole, take it from me." Andrew said.
"I hate what WB did with Velma, I really do. I hate that they made her a skeptic in their recent movies just to make a point about how she's right. But that doesn't mean we should make her an idiot. That's like saying Bulma is an id-no, wait, Toriyama did that with Dragon Ball Super. That's like saying Lord Zedd is an idiot." Mew said.
Lord Zedd: Not the reaction I expected.
"So, of course, everyone made a plan to trap the Time Worm: using Reflect to keep it from digging wormholes through time and space. I'm sure that's not how Reflect works, but according to Rose of Pollux, we're not Square Enix experts when it comes to their magic." Mew said.
Jontron(multiply over three YTP Care Bears' faces): Wow.
"Just get either Clockwork or Aeon to face this magic Tapeworm and be done with this!" Andrew said.
"Wait, remember the Disney rule? If characters make smart decisions, then we wouldn't have a plot." Mew said.
"FUUUUUUUUUUU&UU-" Andrew began, tossing the table out of the tree.
Mew sighed as he used his psychic powers to bring the table back…only for a tiny shadow looming over him and Andrew. And it was becoming bigger by the second.
5 Minutes Later
Mew and Andrew had multiple injuries on them from the table hitting them. And yet, they don't seem to notice said injuries.
"I told y'all that Clockwork from 5YL could patch up this mess with his time cannon."
"So, the plan works…at first. However, the Time Worm remembered Asmodeus' threats and managed to jump high enough to avoid the radius of Vincent's magic, then opened a new time hole. Then, while grabbing Vincent, who put himself in a protective bubble, dragged him into said hole. The only good thing was that the gang had the Time Scepter, courtesy of Vincent tossing it to Scoob and everyone stopped Daphne from jumping into the timehole." Mew said.
"Everytime this happens, it feels like more parts of me are dying knowing this is now the new Daphne Minus." Andrew said.
"So we begin with this note." Mew said.
Notes:
I'm posting this chapter a day early as it's both the anniversary of the 13 Ghosts premiere, plus Don Messick's birthday!
"Ah, what better way to celebrate the birthday of Don Messick than putting two characters he voiced on the sidelines? Especially when one of them is the titular character of the franchise? And what better way to celebrate the anniversary of The 13 Ghosts than to take away everything that makes the show unique? No wait, those sound like crappy birthday presents to me." Mew said in a deadpan tone.
"Hey, they said the same about Teen Titans Go." Andrew snarked.
Suddenly, a bunch of people started throwing hate comments about the show. Mew had an unamused expression, being used to this attitude by this point. Andrew, on the other hand…
"The power of Crystal Space Jesus compels you! THE POWER OF CRYSTAL SPACE JESUS COMPELS YOU! Don't make me get his clone/child into this!" Andrew exclaimed, holding up a crystalized crucifix.
"I thought you were an atheist." Mew said.
"I am. I just don't say that to diamond/crystal people in their faces. It feels like I blew up their planet or- Oh." Andrew said.
"So, in protest of the recent acts of stupidity," Mew began to say.
"Hey!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Not you, the story." Mew said.
"Oh. Wait, why am I getting triple J vibes from you?" Andrew asked.
"Because hopefully this will help Jonah J. Jameson realizes he can trademark the name 'Dr. Strange'." Mew said.
Andrew had a hopeful expression on his face as he held up a clip that was played before.
Abridged Bardock: We already did that.
"Damn you scientist asshole space dad that defies death one too many times!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Like I previously said, in response to the recent acts of stupidity that the story had thrown at us, in protest, we decided to not talk about the tenth chapter in full detail. All you need to know is that everyone suffers the brain drain, Scooby forgot that he used the Time Scepter twice and tells Daphne she can do it, because this is the Daphne Show, the spin-off of the Velma Show, and PastVincent is now a DLC character in Multiversus!"
Disembodied voice(that vaguely like Australian Caddi, but isn't Australian…we swear): So kids, are there any questions on the story of Pinocchio? Yes? Good, now fuck off and I'll see you next week.
"What about chapter 11 and 12?" Andrew asked.
"Oh, Care Bears got us covered." Mew said, holding up a clip.
YTP Chris: Ho-Ho-Ho-Holly, you tricked me into being in this shit!
Andrew slammed his fist on the table, surprisingly not breaking it. "HA!" he exclaimed in joy.
"So, after getting through the language barrier that spans millennia, PastVincent turns out to be a hypocritical $$hole." Mew said.
YTP Cat In The Hat: Are you seeing this?
YTP Monster: No, but actually YES!
"What else is new?" Andrew asked.
"The fact PastVincent decide to leave his future self in the past and live in the current time?" Mew said.
Jontron: Oh Lord, I think I'm coming down with the case of the vapors.
"Oh, and then Asmodeus, Bogel, Weerd and the Chest of Demons get erased from 2016 due to Vincent not opening the Chest. Despite the fact that Bogel's backstory was retcon, so his existence can't be tied to the opening of the Chest. That, and the townspeople in Tibet were the one who opened the Chest. But, hey, at least we learned one thing: Rose of Pollux secretly likes The 13 Curses more than she lets on, because she does the same amount of retcons they did, and is fine with it." Mew said, with pixelated sunglasses on his smugass face.
Jontron: I have fallen…and I choose not to get up!
"What's new, Critical Magic Tampon Cat?" Andrew asked.
"Oh, the fact we're going for My Hero Academia parallels. Daphne is Deku with the suicidal tendencies and self-sacrificing ideals, Vincent is All Might with the same ideals, but encouraging it until it's too late to stop it, Hades is pre-character development Endeavor." Mew said.
"What about everyone else?" Andrew asked.
Before Mew can come up with an answer, Regirock pulled the pin out of a metaphorical grenade. "I thought that PastVincent was like Eon," he said.
"...Oh shit!" Mew exclaimed.
"...I'm gonna shove you up my face, just to get a reaction out of you." Andrew said, as he grabbed and shoved him up to his face.
"Hey, ARE Y-" Andrew began shouting before Mew exploded yet again. And, as before, Andrew let out Lego Yoda's death scream.
Jon: Wha- you fuckers. You fuckers. You motherfu- I will rain hellfire upon you.
Iscream (Evil): WHAT PITS OF HELL HAVE YOU COME FROM?!
Mew and Andrew soon looked disheveled, but were ignoring their appearances. However, Andrew was wearing a hood that covered his face…and a lot of bandages around his arms, neck and chest.
"Now I know how Norm feels." Andrew said.
"Congrats, now we can replay this clip. And the power of Bardock can't stop us this time!" Mew said.
Norm Macdonald: You're a worthy adversary. We'll meet again. You know, providing that I survive the series of skin grafts and years of painful physical therapy.
"So, we have Velma and Daphne go to Velma's supervisor's quantum physics friend, who tells them a theoretical thing that somehow applies to the magical stuff that goes on." Mew said.
"So he can do this but can't stop probing Mars' a$$hole." Andrew said.
"In a shocking, yet simple nutshell, yes." Mew said.
"So, this is a question about time-travel," Daphne began.
"Then I'm afraid I can only give you theoretical answers, as the concept seems to be beyond our reach," he replied. "But do continue."
Daphne exchanged a glance with Velma, who nodded for her to ask.
"So… let's say—hypothetically speaking, of course—due to a change in the timeline that was unplanned, someone who survived an accident as a child… didn't make it after all. What would happen to that person's descendants?"
Dr. Kuryakin pondered over this.
"…There was a paper that was very recently published that theorized what would happen in this case—it was written by a Dr. Brown, I believe… He called it 'the Ripple Effect.' Here, let me illustrate it…" Dr. Kuryakin drew a line on a nearby whiteboard with a green marker. "So, let's say this line represents the original timeline. Now, you say something happened that changed the timeline, and a person who went on to continue his family line instead found his life cut short…" He drew a red line that, at first, branched off from the green line, and then ran parallel to it. "A new timeline would occur, parallel to the original timeline. However, this would create a paradox—and the space-time continuum is primed to remove paradoxes in order to stabilize itself."
"How would it stabilize itself in this case?" Velma asked, her eyes wide.
"The original timeline would be erased—from the moment of the change, and then towards the present—like a ripple, hence the name." Dr. Kuryakin erased the green line from the left to the right. "Only the rewritten timeline would eventually remain. In most cases, the resulting Ripple Effect would be small or localized—for example, an ancient scribe writing something slightly different would cause minor changes, mostly in how future generations looked back on whatever event the scribe had written about. If someone has had a greater influence on the timeline, a change with them would be more noticeable, for example… an international enforcement agent who has saved the world multiple times from a criminal organization…" He exchanged a glance with Mr. Solo, who smirked into his coffee. "Changes to his timeline would have a stronger Ripple Effect that would be noticed by many."
Vincent lived a long time and must've done so many things, Daphne realized. Saving my ancestor was only just one thing that got changed. How many other people all over the world are being rewritten or even erased because of Young Vincent changing his mind? But I don't think he even realizes it, that's the thing…
"Now, in the example you gave—one person who died before he could continue his family line…" Dr. Kuryakin continued. "As for the unfortunate person's descendants, as the Ripple Effect caught up to their point in the timeline, they would simply vanish from existence—first the individual's children, then his grandchildren, and so on and so forth."
"…And… how could you prevent or fix that from happening?" Daphne asked, her nervousness growing.
"The only way would be to restore the original timeline," Dr. Kuryakin sighed. "If the dead man was saved, the changed timeline would be erased as the original timeline was restored."
Daphne nodded, that feeling of impending doom only growing in her heart.
"Thank you for your time," she said.
"Oh, and Vincent is accepting his fate of being erased from time due to his past self's actions. It's only when realizing that Daphne would be erased did he call out his past self for being selfish." Mew said.
"You do know Daphne's not the center of the universe." Andrew said.
"Yeah, it's Mexico. At least, in one timeline. It was shown in The Book of Life, made by the same guy who made El Tigre." Mew said.
"How can you do this to me!" Andrew exclaimed.
"That's not even the end of it. He made a show on Netflix, where the main character died at the end…sort of." Mew said.
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Andrew shouted.
"Moving on," Mew said, changing the subject.
"It hurts," Andrew commented.
YTP Cheer Bear: Kids
YTP Micheal Jordan(Barging in, interrupting her): Doing drugs. Stop it.
"No, Daphne's not doing drugs. If that's the case…we would be using them to prevent her suicidal tendencies." Mew said.
"Wouldn't he come and kick your ass?" Andrew asked.
"We're talking about the guy who appeared on Space Jam, which, that itself, is a brain drain." Mew said.
YTP Everyone in the 100 Acre Wood, except Pooh: BRAIN DRAIN!
"Great, now we started something." Andrew commented.
"And we're finishing it." Mew said.
"With my time travel theories that I know?" Andrew said.
"No, by getting PastVincent back to 41 AD. And their solution is…doing nothing." Mew said.
"... Excuse me. Whaaaaaaaaat?" Andrew said, similar to Jontron.
"Yep, they're doing nothing." Mew said.
Magic Conch: Nothing.
"Daphne's fucked. PastVincent ain't gonna do shit." Andrew said.
"Oh, no. He went back to the past, with Daphne's scarf so he would know if she's still alive or faded out of existence. And given how many retcons have been in this story alone, I think Howard Ashman is right about one thing." Mew said.
Howard Ashman: The backstory STAYS! *breathe fire on Wise and Truesdale*
"So, while waiting, we just sent Regice to the infirmary with Registeel, who needs treatment from Regigigas, who is distracted with a muffin." Mew said, annoyed.
"Do I wanna know what he's saying about that muffin?" Andrew asked.
"Nope, no you don't want to know." Mew said.
In the background, the remaining Legendary Titans were having a quiet discussion. The only thing that was heard was 'can of beans' and 'dragon's feet'.
"Oh, also Bogel and Weerd are gay, as of this story." Mew said.
"What makes you say that?" Andrew asked.
"This," Mew said.
"Where will we end up!?" Bogel asked. He cast a terrified glance at Weerd. "Will we even be together in the new timeline…?"
Despite herself, Daphne found her expression softening. As much as she detested those ghosts, they did seem to care about each other—albeit way deep down.
"..."
YTP Sally McKnight: What the fuck?
"Yeah, I agree with you. What?! I thought she hated them to the point of wishing them out of existence!" Andrew exclaimed.
"So, PastVincent goes back to 41, the Ripple Effect gets reversed, PresentVincent is back in the present, Bogel and Weerd are now gay, and Asmodeus decides to go off and be an idiot somewhere else. Oh, and the gang goes to the Malt Shop." Mew said.
YTP Fred: Alright, gang. Time to-
YTP Daphne: No.
YTP Fred: -go to the Malt Shop.
"And it's there where Daphne and her parents finally hash things out." Mew said.
"No! We are not going over this again!" Andrew said.
"Oh, don't worry. Vincent got us covered." Mew said.
"I ain't commenting…at all." Andrew said.
"Daphne!"
She gasped, giving a start as she saw her father and mother barrel in to the Malt Shop, apparently having searched for her for a while. She found herself not sure how to feel about seeing them—on the one hand, she still felt betrayed, but, on the other hand, her father had faded from existence temporarily, and she hadn't really had time to internalize that as it had happened, since she had been concerned for her own well-being.
Mew burst out laughing over the fact that Daphne was apparently concerned about her well-being. "No, she just need to be on suicide watch." Mew said, composing himself.
"There you are!" George sighed.
"You didn't answer any of our calls since you hung up on us last evening!" Elizabeth fretted.
Daphne's expression grew grim; briefly, she checked her phone and realized that, in all of the madness that had occurred, she'd had over a dozen missed calls from the both of them, most of which had only come in recently given the timeline hiccups.
"We tried looking for you at the base, but they wouldn't let us in without a pass—Velma's parents said that you'd all gone off together," George sighed. "This was the one place we'd hoped you'd end up."
"We were just leaving," Daphne bluffed. "But I guess we'll have to find somewhere to stay the night since you're selling the old house."
The others drew closer to Daphne, as though silently affirming that they would be siding with her in this squabble. George did a double-take as he noticed Vincent there among them, being the odd one out.
"Daphne, please understand…" Elizabeth sighed. "I was upset when I last spoke to you—we both were."
"You were upset!?" Daphne asked. "How do you think I felt? I had finally achieved something big in my journalism career, only to find that my own parents wanted me to fail all this time!?"
"It's not that we wanted you to fail, Daphne," George promised. "We were extremely disappointed that you wouldn't reconsider helping to run the family business, and our disappointment more or less manifested itself in a way that should have never been expressed. We were wrong to word it like that."
"…So it doesn't change the fact that you want me to give up my career to take over yours?" Daphne asked.
"I know we can't force you to… but it would make us so incredibly happy if you did," Elizabeth said.
"And what about Daphne's happiness—does that mean nothing to you?" Vincent asked, unable to remain quiet any longer as the others nodded in agreement. "The two of you have no idea how fortunate you are to have her for your daughter. She has accomplished much with honor and great fortitude. You may have had plans for her, but you must accept that she is her own person. She has a right to choose which legacy she wants to inherit—yours, someone else's, or to choose her own path."
"And just who are you!?" George asked, slightly put-out at being lectured to by a complete stranger.
"His name is Vincent Van Ghoul, and he's someone whom us Blakes owe a great deal of gratitude to," Daphne said, immediately. "In 1692—"
"The focus isn't on me," Vincent interrupted. "It's clear that you still love each other as a family—you wouldn't be upset with each other over something like this if that weren't the case. There is a chance for you to reconcile with each other—don't let that slip away. You don't want to be left with regrets."
There was an awkward silence.
"…Your mother and I did say things that were hurtful," George admitted to his daughter. "And, for that, I am sorry."
"So am I," Elizabeth agreed. "We want to be happy for you, Daphne—and I expect, in time, we will be. But we'll need time."
"…Well…" Daphne sighed. "I'm going to need some time to internalize everything, too." She bit her lip, once again thinking about how, for a brief amount of time, her father had vanished from existence. "…I do want to keep the lines of communication open. But I'm going to need some time and some distance before I'm ready to talk about this specifically—"
"—Oh, my goodness…!" George suddenly exclaimed, glancing back at Vincent. "Daphne, did you say 1692!?"
"Yes, I did," Daphne said. "But—"
There are a lot of old documents in the family vaults," George recalled. "But some of them are intriguing and quite memorable—one of them was a description by one of our ancestors of the night she left Europe for the United States… something about a Grecian warlock who saved her only child."
"Yes, that's right," Daphne said, with a nod.
"…That was over three hundred years ago, George," Elizabeth mused. "I don't see how that's relevant with anything—"
"It profoundly affected her son once he was old enough to understand what had nearly happened to him," George informed her. "He never knew the warlock's name—only that he had ties to Ancient Greece. And so, to honor his unknown savior, he started what became a Blake family tradition—that the firstborn of every next generation of the Blakes be given a name of Grecian origin."
"…What…?" Daphne asked, stunned.
"Well, haven't you wondered why, despite your Scottish ancestry, you have a Grecian name?" George asked. "Daphne was the name of a nymph who supposedly lived in ancient times—it's also the Greek word for the laurel tree. And my own name, George, is the English version of Georgios, which was an epithet of Zeus before he became the King of Olympus." He glanced back at Vincent. "But how does he fit into all of this?"
Daphne hesitated.
"I don't know how exactly to break it to you, so I'll just say it," she sighed. "…Warlocks are immortal."
George took a moment as her words sunk in, and he gave Vincent another look.
"You mean, he's the one…?" He cleared his throat. "…Then it's true—the Blakes do owe him a great debt…"
"You don't," Vincent insisted.
"And yet, Daphne doesn't listen and thinks she needs to owe a life debt to Vincent. My co-star, on the other hand, is pissed off about something else entirely." Mew said.
"No one names their children for importance, they do it so they don't say boy or girl. That, and children get random names all the time without rhyme or reason!" Andrew ranted.
"Not to mention that Daphne is the one child that broke the tradition. You know, since Daphne has four older sisters, five if we go with the unnamed sister that is in space. But, again, nobody cares about the importance of a person's name and where it came from. Most parents chose a name that sounds cool or rolls off the tongue. Heck, Scooby picked his own name and that was his first words. His parents stuck with it, not because Scooby has a grandfather and a great-grandfather who have the same name, but because it was his first words after being born. And that's like a catchphrase to him.
"So, Daphne and her parents decide to give each other space so that they can fix their relationship. And the story ends with Daphne seeing that Vincent and Miranda are in contact with each other, as Daphne and Shaggy, via Flim-Flam being their translator, told PastVincent not to cease contact with Miranda, thus causing a minor change in history. And by 'minor', I meant major." Mew said.
"The Rock Troll theory has been semi-confirmed." Andrew said.
"Miranda invites Vincent to the class reunion, where Hades teaches the most important lesson." Mew said.
Hades: I OWN YOU!
"His class was weird. Not as weird as Cold Heart's." Andrew said.
"We're talking about the same guy who played Scrabble, right?" Mew asked.
"I remember the summer of 19XX when-" Andrew began.
*The End card cues up*
Daffy: *pushing the card off screen* NOOO! NOOOOOOOO!
"And Daphne has no self-preservation skills and never will. And both she, and Shaggy, continue to get worse, since Shaggy uses the Samurai Sword, something he and Scooby used only once before giving it back to the Green Dragon as they wanted to still be themselves." Mew said.
"And that's it. So, what's our opinion on this?" Mew asked.
"I need a drink to fix this." Andrew said, leaving to grab some…drink.
"We tried to like it, we actually tried. But this wouldn't let us! Rose of Pollux showed so much promise at the beginning, and it was good. But the more we read into her stories, the more the flaws start to show!
"If any of you like this, that's fine. I don't review these stuff to change your opinion, I do it to show you why I have my own opinions on these stuff!
"And WhiteFangKakashi300 also has this problem, but we'll get to her again.
"However, no matter how hard we try, we can't ignore these flaws. And the rest of the stories, from this point onwards, suffer from the same flaws. I don't like seeing Daphne put her self-worth as not being something to matter, because that isn't Daphne. I don't like seeing Vincent not trying to prevent these tendencies. And I hate seeing characters who were more than one character trait being pushed to the sideline to make way for the Daphne and Vincent show.
"Because at the end of the day, this isn't The 13 Ghosts anymore. It's a perversion of the original show. In fact, this is just Mystery Incorporated! all over again, and I already hate that show for being edgy.
"So, to end this review, I'm the Critical Mew. And I review these stuff so you don't have to. And we'll see you in a few months' time, just so my co-star can recover…if he can, that is." Mew said.
(Cue instrumental version of theme song)
Credits:
The New Scooby-Doo Mysteries
The 13 Ghosts of Scooby-Doo
The Norm McDonald Show
Rose of Pollux's The 13 Ghosts Season 2 Project
Kawaii Wonder's #SaveScrappy collage
Fandom Trash's The Care Bear Family YTP Collab
Care Bear(DiC) YTP
SneakiestChameleon's YTP collection
Brandon Tenold
Billiam's When Scrappy Got Better video
Jontron
Spider-Man 2
TFS DBZA
Asdfmovie
Looney Tunes Duck Amuck
Chikn Nuggit
Lego Stars Wars
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Ben 10
Danny Phantom
Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island
Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Batman: The Killing Joke
Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated
Scooby and Shaggy Get a Clue!
The Little Mermaid
The Curse of the 13th Ghost
Scooby-Doo YTP
ToucanLDM EVERY Animed Segment from Animation Lookback: WDAS +
My Hero Academia
Eric Andre Show
Be Cool Scooby-Doo
Futurama
Spongebob Squarepants
Spooder-Min
Pokémon franchise
Bulbapedia
