We walked downhill to the diner beside the abandoned theater. The kids were still jamming outside of that place. Fuck that music. I fucking hate music. I took one long puff of smoke before putting it out and throwing it in the container. I can finish it later. I opened the diner door, and it rang the bell above it. "Welcome!" Emily the diner lady said from behind the counter. She's around 60 something, when I first got here, she told me a story about how her ancestors escaped slavery and decided to work here, it was a weird little fun fact, I thought would lighten up my mood. Fuck it. I sat down on the stool in front of her and Lily sat next to me. "Luna, you're up early, now who's the girl beside you?" She asked. This town is weird. When I came here 2 years ago, they don't even recognize me. That's a pretty good deal for me, and when I said that my name was Luna Loud, they just assumed that I'm using a fake name. It's a pretty good deal. I don't know what made them think I'm not the Luna Loud, but I think it has something to do with the scar above my right eyebrow, it's not that big, but I guess I never went live with the scar on my face. "That's a pretty mean bruise you got there, did you ice it?" She asked again. She's nice.
"That's my sister, she's staying with me for a while... I iced it a bit yesterday," I told her. "I'll have over easy sunny side ups and bacon... and coffee. Black." I looked at Lily, "What the hell do you want Lily? We don't got all day."
"Umm... I'll take what Luna's having." Lily replied. Her voice was choppy. Maybe she's feeling guilty for shouting. It's not that I care, I'd be better off dying alone.
"Alrighty," Emily replied. "Also, Lily was it," Emily looked at Lily, "Don't mind Luna, she's cranky but she's actually very nice." Emily told Lily. She's like the neighborhood's community mother.
"I'd do better if you don't spread propagandas about me," I told her, deadpan. I really am a bad person.
"Sure, sure, honey, you're always the Nathan Forrest of your life," Emily said as she poured our coffees.
"Who's that?" Lily asked.
"First KKK boss," I replied, deadpan.
"Yup, the first Grand Wizard of the KKK, evil bastard that guy," Emily replied. "But your sister ain't something like that, she just likes to pretend to be an evil idiot like Hitler and Stalin, always going on and on about how she's unforgivable and all, especially when she's drunk, she's one nasty self-deprecating sailor, when she first came to Anderson, she got hit by a car and she yelled "You've got to be tougher than that to kill me!", it was like watching a sitcom."
"Don't mind her Lily, she's just a history nerd that watched too much Ancient Aliens," I took a sip on my coffee.
"She's friendlier now, of course." Emily continued.
Emily went to the kitchen. She's just alone now, when I first got here, her husband was still alive, He died last year, heart cancer, he hid it from her. There weren't a lot of people there for his funeral, I know I went, Jimmy went, the sheriff went, some of the town folks went. I know they had kids but their kids left for the city ages ago, never came back. Just like me I guess. I sighed. Why the hell is the town filled with ironies? They always make me feel like the biggest asshole. Because I am I suppose.
Not even 5 minutes later, she came back out with two plates. "Bon Appétit, I added some fries on the side for you two," She sat the two plates down.
"Thanks," It was good. Sure beats eating Hot Pockets all day. Sure beats running away.
A year ago...
"Reginald was a good man, I'm sorry for your loss," The sheriff told Emily. We just went back from the cemetery, and we were in the diner. Jimmy was sitting at the counter. I hate funerals. I wore the only thing suitable enough for a funeral, a black enough jacket and a black button-up shirt and a pair of jeans I found at the thrift store. It was better than nothing. I got out of the diner, and I took out a rollie, I marked it with a red marker. Pure Mary Jane, no tobacco. I sat down on the bench outside, and I lit it up. It was winter, but it wasn't that cold when compared to Michigan. I smoked the rollie. I'm almost out, I might need to buy some more later. The nearest place to buy weed is the next town over, I really hate it when I have to go buy more. I already hate smoking it in the first place.
"Hey Luna, I'm going home, do you need a lift?" Jimmy asked as he went out of the diner. I shook a no, and he left. I sat there, smoking as I look at the gray sky. It wasn't raining. There weren't snow. Why the hell's the temperature here retarded?
I didn't remember what happened after that, but I remember going back in the diner when the rain started to fall. The blunt was finished already. Everyone else was gone. It was just me and Emily behind the counter. "Hey Luna, do you need a coffee?" She asked me. I shook a no. "It's gonna be a long one," Emily noted on the rain.
"Yeah... I'm sorry for your loss..." I told her, it was awkward, I didn't know what to say.
"It's alright honey, I'm sure he's looking down on us from heaven, playing with that damn banjo," She looked outside. "You can play right?" She asked me. I saw the tears bubbling in her eyes.
"...Yeah, but I-" She cut me off.
"Can you play me something?" She asked as she pulled the banjo out from under the cash register. I didn't want to. I only play it for extra cash now. I don't want to play it, but I guess seeing that old woman cry made my heart tingle that day. I grabbed it, and I did as she told me to. It didn't take long. But the moment I stopped, I could feel my guts wanting to throw up. I'm pretty sure it was from the 4 days old pizza I left on the table or maybe from the hangover, but I had to stop. I sat the banjo on the counter. "Thanks Luna, you can keep the banjo if you want-" I didn't even let her finish, I ran out. I hate my life. I hate the drugs. I hate the booze. I hate it all. But I guess I'm dependent on it now.
I paid for the meal, and we got out. I'm gonna go cash my check. Lily followed behind me. The nearest bank is in the next town over. I went to the bus station and we stood there waiting for the bus. Number 6 bus. We got on board, I paid the fee, and we sat. It was a 15 minutes. We got off the bus, and I went to the bank. There wasn't a long line, so I stood there. I told Lily to sit down at the benches, and she did. She didn't talk much along the way. I have another- I don't want to think about it. I cashed my check and I went out. This town is bigger than Anderson, but the people are cuntier here. We walked over to the dispensary. "Stay outside, I'm gonna buy some stuff,"
"Hey, how can I help you?" The clerk asked.
"White widow, 10 grams," I gave him a hundred. It didn't take long. I got my weed, he got his money, and I got out. It's the only thing keeping me together for now.
We got back on the bus and we went back to Anderson, there were 5 more passengers inside, more than usual. We were in forest area of the road where there's no building to the left and right when the bus suddenly stopped. The inertia caused me to hit my face on the plastic back rest in front of me. Fuck it hurts. I just got a fucking blackeye yesterday. I was about to stand up and complain to the driver when I saw two men in ski masks enter the bus with guns pointed at us. How many fucking robberies do I have to go through in a week.
"I don't want any heroes, I'll pop all y'all. Empty your pockets!" He yelled as he waved his gun at us. He sounded young. His friend had his gun on the bus driver's face. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. I'm gonna die today. I stood up from my seat, Lily tried to pull me down, but she wasn't strong enough. I stood up and went to middle pathway of the bus. "Sit the fuck down Captain Blackeye." He aimed his gun at my face. Just pull the trigger already. I didn't say a thing. It'll piss him off, and he'll shoot me. "SIT DOWN! OR I'LL SHOOT!" He screamed at me. He is testing my patience. I don't give a fuck about my life. I might not die alone, but at least I'll die fast. "I'M NOT PLAYING AROUND, I'LL FUCKING SHOOT YOU!"
"JUST DO IT ALREADY THEN!" I lost my patience. I grabbed the barrel of his gun and pushed it into my head, the same way I did yesterday. Wait, I felt the gun. It was plastic. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! Maybe it was pure anger, because I crushed that guy's BB gun. "YOU CAN'T EVEN BRING A PROPER GUN!" I slapped him across his face and punched him in the guts and he fell. Why the hell are they so scrawny nowadays? Is this the current trend in criminal culture? His friend panicked.
He aimed his gun at me. I hope it's a real one.
"I HAVE A REAL ONE! DON'T MESS WITH ME!" He doesn't have a real gun. I wanted to slam my face on the floor. But I don't want to ruin my already blackeye. I want to die fast not painful. I stomped on the first guy's thigh. He cried for his mama.
"JUST SHOOT THEN!" I yelled back at him. I suppose another passenger called the cops, because the standoff between a scrawny kid and a toy gun didn't last long enough for a real gun to manifest itself into existence. I heard the sirens, I saw him panicking.
"PUT THE GUN DOWN!" I heard a cop said. His voice sounded similar. The fucker dropped the gun and he raised his hands up. The passengers clapped, for some odd fucking reason. The guy dropped down on the floor. The cop got inside, and he aimed the gun at the dipshit's head. It was Crown.
"Crown, can you fucking hurry up?" I cussed. He looked up.
"Holy shit, you again!" He laughed. "Luna you're a damn criminal magnet." He continued as he cuffed the cunt's hands. Another cop came in the bus. "It'll be just a minute,"
"Don't forget this dipshit," I pointed at the kid I'm standing on. "This is his gun, dumb piece of shit can't even get a proper gun. I mean, how hard can that be, we're in America." I gave the other cop the gun.
Because of the two idiots, we had to wait for a while before the bus started moving back. I was the first person they asked for a statement from, they didn't ask for Lily's because I told them that she's with me, so I was there sitting on the side of the road with a rollie in my hand with Lily by my side. The bus driver is still giving his statement I suppose, what the hell is he talking about that's taking him so fucking long? "Why did you do that? Why did you tell him to shoot you?" She asked out of the blue. I just don't want to live, can I say that? No, because I'm obviously cowardly enough not to shoot myself dead. I'm a daredevil? No, I already said mentally that I'm a coward.
"Because I want to," I said. Fuck it. I'm a psycho in my entire family's eyes already. Why not be a reckless psycho? Well, I already am, because that's how I got here.
"Don't you feel afraid?"
"Why would I be, I have nothing to live for," I said as I took a puff. "I'm gonna die anyways, it's not like it would matter,"
"How about me, Lori, Leni, Luan-" I cut her off.
"I'm gonna stop you right there, I'm no one now, I'm not Luna Loud the fabulous rock star, I'm Luna Loud the gas station attendant that also doubles as a criminal magnet." I told her as I threw the dying smoke onto the dirt floor. "That Luna Loud you call a sister is dead, and I killed her for what she did to the people around her. I'm just the aftermath of that crime scene, so please, don't talk to me about whether or not I should or should not do my God given right to be dead!" I yelled. Fuck. I didn't mean to yell. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell," I squashed the smoke on the dirt ground. "I'm just... frustrated." I sighed. "What the fuck is taking them so long?" I turned my head around. The driver is still talking to the cops inside the bus, there were three patrol cars now at the side of the road. Can't I just get another uneventful day? I sighed. Just as I stood up, Crown jogged over to us.
"Sorry, it's taking so long. Do you guys want a lift back home? Me and John are going to get some gas," He asked. Why should I decline, it was beneficial for me, I don't want to spend my entire day off on the road waiting for the bus driver to finish his story.
"Sure, why the fuck not?" I replied. "Come on, sis," I pulled her up.
We got in the patrol car, we sat in the back, "Where to?" Crown asked.
"Just drop us off at the gas station Crown." I said. I wanted to light another one, but doing that in a police cruiser doesn't sound wise. I'm stupid but not that stupid. He started driving just as his friend, John, got in. It was silence, unforgiving silence.
"Is your name Crown?" Lily asked. Trying to lighten up the awkward silence.
"Yeah, I mean, it's my last name, my full name's John Crown," He replied.
"So there are two Johns in the car," Lily continued. "I think there are too many Johns in the world already, I think you all should have a different noun to use when describing a flock of Johns, like Jury for Jurors," What the fuck is this conversation? I'm the one that's high right now.
"Who the fuck designed your dialogue bubbles?" I asked her. She's making me feel awkward now. "Who the fuck goes around proposing a new word to describe a group of people with the same name?"
"This the sailor you like, Crown?" John asked quietly.
"Shut up, man." Crown replied.
