Eleven
Chapter Notes
these next chapters are very plot heavy with very little fluff or detours in getting the 'mysterious presence' arc taken care of, just fair warning… also, I would like it known that this chapter is exactly 5000 words and that was in no way planned; I was simply very satisfied and surprised when I went to copy it over from the word doc... Ah... no more though ;-; I did a quick edit to Mura's plans about location verse how to unseal Koga when I realized I made that mistake and changed the word count ;-;
By the time Yoruichi showed up, Ichigo had already scoured through the records of both the fifth and the eleventh – thank you, Yachiru – for the past several hundred years. To say the least, he never wanted to look at another record again. Just the thought of it had his neck cricking and eyes itching with a phantom dryness worse than Hueco Mondo's deserts.
Yoruichi dropping into his lap in the middle of the night – for all that it almost earned herself a severed head – was an oasis. A gleaming crystalline lake. Towering trees giving sun-dappled shade. That was, until she opened her mouth and Ichigo was hit in the face with the boulder of a fact that hope was a lying liar.
"Please tell me you're kidding," he said weakly.
"Afraid not Ichi-berry. Shinji was the only who remembered anything and that was just some drama over a prison escape and the Shinigami, some upstart Kuchiki or other, being killed."
"Some drama?"
"His words, not mine."
"That's… so unhelpful."
"It was hundreds of years ago, during the civil war here," Yoruichi said with a whip of her tail. "Give us old souls a break. Plus, I checked out a few records for you. Ya' know, those in the fourth and sixth…"
Ichigo felt that swelling hope again, "And?"
"Nothing."
And it was gone.
"Nothing?"
"Not a whisper or side note. Nothing."
Ichigo groaned, flopping back onto his bed. Nothing. Nothing at all. Just what he needed. How could there even be nothing if- His eyes shot open.
"Finally getting it?"
"Why wouldn't there be anything? A Shinigami whose zanpakuto can control others would- they'd want to document that… unless they were trying to prevent panic? But even then…"
"Exactly. Someone's covered it up and I get the feeling the reasons weren't all that clean"
Which also meant that his week of searching had been for nothing. More importantly, though, it meant there was a hell of a lot more to the story than anyone could tell them. Or would tell them, really.
"I'm going to ask Stalker about it."
Yoruichi stared at him, her eyes glowing unnaturally in the low light, "I'm going with you."
Ichigo opened his mouth to protest, because it may be unsafe, and he wasn't about to put Yoruichi into any danger when he didn't have to. He hadn't even gotten the first word out before a paw smack him harshly on his forehead. "What the hell?!"
"I'm coming with you." The paw raised again.
"Okay! Fine!" He rubbed at what was no doubt a reddening splotch on his head. It would be just his luck if it bruised.
"Are those snacks?"
"And sake," Yoruichi said, her voice deep still for all that it was light and cheerful as her tail swished out in satisfaction at her array or food and drinks. Ichigo felt his eye twitch at that.
They'd come out to the same clearing he'd taken to training in recently. The land was mostly flat with a fair distance from any trees and a small stream running along one side. Ichigo could still see a few cracks and craters that he'd left behind; some starting to become overgrown and others a charred reminder to keep his reiatsu under control.
"What happened to coming along to make sure things went smoothly?"
Yoruichi blinked slow at him, "Doesn't mean I can't enjoy the show a bit first."
"Remind me why we're friends?"
"I'm me."
Ichigo scowled. She wasn't wrong. Yoruichi in his future had been a lifeline for many of his adventures. Had helped train him. Prepared him for a war he'd been forced to join and gave him whatever tools she could to let him succeed – much like Urahara. And much like Urahara, had taken a step back when the war was won. If he hadn't seen the blind hope in Hat-an-clogs's eyes when Orihime had brought up her farfetched idea to get his powers back, then he would find it harder to believe that either of them wanted anything more with him than a convenient pawn in their scheme to take down Aizen. But he had.
And now she sat by his side again. Prepared to face an unknown enemy with nothing but the goal to make sure they came out on the other side of whatever was about to happen.
It was comforting.
Like a blanket on the cold night to chase away the chill of uncertainty and inevitability. Both in how there was every chance that his stalker wouldn't show themselves, and in how they eventually would. And how it may very well mean having all his secrets laid bare.
He'd face it like he faced everything else.
There wasn't a choice, after all.
"Hey," he asked after a few minutes, his eyes wandering up to the night sky, "are the stars the same as the ones in the living world?"
He felt her tail flick against his leg, "I don't know, why?"
"It was just something I'd been wondering a while back. If they're ghosts too."
"Kisuke would know," Yoruichi huffed. "He was always the one interested in those sorts of things."
"I'll have to ask him next time I see him."
"Just don't get him started on the moon and any moon landing conspiracies."
"What?"
"You heard me."
Ichigo blinked, trying to connect the idea of Hat-an-clogs and a fake moon landing, and coming up blank. Maybe he'd come up with something else? It sounded like something he'd do but-
"I figured you'd be back," Ichigo said by way of greeting.
Stalker didn't bother hiding, flashing out from behind a crop of trees and into the clearing with their blade already drawn, "How else would we finish our conversation?"
And then they fought.
Ichigo hadn't expected much else, but it was equal parts a thrill and pain to cross blades again. The excitement of battle rung clean and clear like bells inside him. A welcome symphony that he hadn't heard nearly enough lately. And yet it was caught just on the edge of beautiful, because each singing chorus was tinged with the same sadness he'd encountered the first time. The same longing. The same lost empty yearning come back lonely. In turn, Ichigo ached for it. Ached because he knew it like he knew the joy of having his swords in his hands. Knew it for the way his friend had worked so hard to help him reject it. Knew it and hated it.
No one deserved to feel that gaping void.
Ichigo skid against the dew-kissed grass and twisted Ossan just right to disengage. He pulled back. Swung Shiro up in a deadly arc. Ignored how it missed and chased after his next strike with determination. That strike was blocked too. And now it was his turn to be on the defensive.
"Zanpakuto are born from a Shinigami's heart and soul," Stalker said, perfectly calm and collected as he continued his assault. "However, they have their own thoughts and goals." Ichigo slid to a stop, breath heavy even as he heard the echo of 'what you want to protect and what we want to are different'. "Shinigami have done nothing but suppress them from the start. My goal is to release
them from their oppression and herald in an age where zanpakuto rule."
Ichigo grit his teeth, "Why are you telling me this?" It couldn't be this easy right? Surely, Stalker wouldn't just give them all the answers without them even having to ask.
"So you can understand what is happening," Stalker said, thrusting their hand forward suddenly, intent pulsing thick in the air. His fingers splayed, long nails fully on display like talons. A threat. A warning. Ichigo's breath caught. "Heed my call. Move forward as you desire. Come to me. Your name is…" and then all at once the hand was thrusting into his chest, and a scream tore free with abandon, "Zangetsu."
"You're brazen to assume moving forward would ever mean leaving Ichigo behind."
"Ya' really screwed yourself tryin' ta pull somethin' like that, ya know."
Ichigo whipped around, finding both Ossan and Shiro, swords drawn and expressions thunderous. An anger that he could feel thrumming in the back of his mind. An anger that drowned under the relief he felt at seeing them, at having them at his back, at knowing they wouldn't be so easily swayed.
Stalker frowned, "You would choose your own oppression?"
"Oppression?" Shiro sneered, "Being with King isn't oppression. And why da hell would I follow ya when I got everythin' I want with him?"
It was as if he'd only just learned how to breathe. This weight of companionship such a welcome relief to the stretch from trying to save everyone and stop everything. He'd known. Known that Shiro and Ossan were with him. That they wouldn't let him fight alone – they'd always said as much. And yet here, standing before someone that offered them more than Ichigo could-
A hand smacked harsh against his head, "Don't ya go thinkin' like that, Kingy, or I'll be taken over, got it?"
"You forget, Ichigo, you are ours as well," Ossan said, his gaze locked with Stalker still. Stalker who was watching them with that same achingly familiar pain.
"I see I have underestimated you. It won't happen again." Stalker turned to leave, sword still in hand for all that it was lowered now and there was something stiff in the line of his shoulders that had nothing to do with being guarded against attack.
Ichigo shot forward, "You're not leaving yet, we still need to talk!"
"What more is there to discuss?"
"How about why no one remembers a zanpakuto that killed their master?" Ichigo said, scowling harder. It was almost the truth – Shinji vaguely remembered a zanpakuto that could control others and the Soutaichou and Byakuya clearly knew something. "Or, what about who you are? And why are you coming back now?"
Stalker looked at him with a blank expression, "Why do you care?"
"Why do I care?" Ichigo repeated on a snarl. "Because you tried to take Zangetsu! Because…" Ichigo took a deep breath, "Because you felt sad when we fought."
The trees rustled around them, the grass swaying with the same breeze. It had been a calm night so
far, and Ichigo wondered if it was something in the air that made this go his way, or perhaps the world was finally giving him a break – no strings attached.
Stalker bowed their head. "Very well." And then their sword was disappearing in a flash of reiatsu and Ichigo let himself relax ever so slightly. "No one remembers because it was covered up."
"We figured as much," Yoruichi said, padding forward. "Why?"
"My master, Kuchiki Koga, was powerful. There were those that did not like that," Stalker explained. "What do you know of the civil war that took place several hundred years ago?"
"Not much," Ichigo said honestly. Aizen had had him reading up on history, but it had been more recent. And even when checking the records on that period, the information regarding the major players had been sparse.
Stalker sighed, "All you need to know is that my master was one of the keys in winning it for those loyal to the Gotei." Stalker looked to the stars for a moment before continuing, "My master is strong. He won many battles single-handedly and was rewarded for his service by the Soutaichou himself. The rebels realized he would lead to their downfall, of course, and framed him for murder." Stalker closed his eyes here, "My master was imprisoned and was to be removed from his position in the sixth division and I was to be eliminated."
"What?!" Ichigo demanded, "How could they do that?! You can't just- just destroy someone's zanpakuto!" He took a step back, letting his shoulders brush against Ossan and Shiro as his heart raced. Raced at his own hypocrisy – he'd destroyed his own swords once, after all.
Stalker stared at him for a long moment, "My ability is to control others' zanpakuto spirits and enter their mindscapes. I can read their minds. See their memories and distort their reality. I am a powerful sword, which is only just as I have a powerful master. The higher officials of Soul Society feared that. Feared me.
"I freed my master." Stalker met Ichigo's gaze with a burning fire in his eyes, "I freed him, and my master went to confront those who'd framed him. He would have shown them mercy, but they'd been laughing at their perceived success. They deserved their deaths. However, their deaths meant he would never be seen as innocent and so he swore he'd revolt for the humiliation the Gotei made him suffer."
"Your master already got his revenge then," Yoruichi hummed. "And you say you agree with it, so where did you killing him come in?"
Stalker spared a glance for Yoruichi before looking at Ichigo once more. "Before, you asked me why I was so sad." Stalker continued, "I am mourning my master."
"Didn't you kill him?"
"I did. I was too weak, and he was sealed by the Soutaichou and Kuchiki Ginrei as a result."
"That's not the same."
"To him it may as well be." Stalker crossed their arms, "I planned to lead a rebellion to find the key to the seal and free him."
"Free him?"
"Of course." Stalker said it like it was thunder after a lightning strike – inevitable and resounding.
"I only ever wanted him to be happy. To leave the past behind and make a world he could live in. It is my own fault things have ended this way and so it is my responsibility to fix them."
"Do you want help?"
"You would help me?"
"Of course."
"Why?"
Ichigo shrugged, looking down at the grass tickling his ankles with a weak scowl. The world, he knew, wasn't a fair place. And what was more, it liked its patterns – wreathed itself with the reflections it could create like a cracked kaleidoscope on a cloudy day. What did it say about it that Stalker and him were meeting like this? Two shards that were just shy of the same.
"Because I understand."
And wasn't that the truth of it.
One broken soul being helped by another pieced together again with a golden light and a touch of resolve. How poetic.
How heart-wrenching.
But it was better than being half-whole.
"Thank you," Stalker said after a beat.
Ichigo nodded to that. "But I do want to know, why did you run before?" he asked. "If you can control zanpakuto and you plan to go against the Gotei anyway…"
"It wasn't that I couldn't release all your spirits," Stalker explained, "but that my plans never included getting caught up with you, little Shinigami. I have always planned to release the spirits slowly until there were enough who had been freed from enslavement that fighting the Gotei would be child's play."
So, he'd wanted to play it stealthy.
"Having your captain and friend discover me had not been planned, a tactical retreat to rethink my next step was in order."
Ichigo nodded; he could understand that. Having all your plans fall apart around you, only he'd never gotten the chance to back down and think, had he?
"This is all fine and good," Yoruichi drawled, swishing her tail. "I'm all for sticking it to the Gotei and Central, but I would like to know how you survived. Zanpakuto can't live long without their wielder's reiatsu."
"I consumed hollows."
Ichigo's eyes went wide. That- "That can't be good for you?"
"It isn't," Yoruichi answered before Stalker could deny anything. "Only a hollow can consume another hollow completely. You're putting your very existence at risk."
"It's no matter," Stalker shook their head. "Once I reconnect with my wielder it will all be worth it."
"But what about until then?" Ichigo said with a shake of his head, he glanced at Ossan and Shiro and saw his own resolve reflected back. With a nod of his head, he held his hand out to Stalker, "Here."
"What are you doing?" Yoruichi hissed – and it really was a hiss, as she was very much a cat still, and wow Ichigo really didn't want to know what she would be doing right now if she were human.
Especially considering Ichigo ignored her and kept his eyes on Stalker, "You can have some of my reiatsu. I have more than enough to share and… now you won't have to hurt yourself like that."
Stalker stared at him, open with his shock and incomprehension, "You-."
"Just accept it, okay?" he snapped when it seemed that Stalker was going to back down. "It's better than what you've been doing, and I said I would help you, didn't I?"
"You continue to surprise me," Stalker said softly with a small bow of their head, eyes falling to the grass as he reached out to take Ichigo's hand.
"Yeah, well, get used to it."
Ichigo let reiatsu build up in his palm, thought of letting it go and of letting someone else have it. It built and built and built and… and then nothing happened. It just sat there, Stalker not taking it like he expected. His brows furrowed.
"Hey, what's-."
Yoruichi snorted, interrupting, "It's not that easy to give someone reiatsu, idiot. Most Shinigami don't know how to do it. If I had to bet, I'd say only a handful in the fourth know."
"But Rukia did it when she awakened my powers," he said, "and Orihime has done it before too." Then again, Orihime had powers unlike any other, even Hat-an-clogs had never fully understood them. But who would be able to? Especially when they'd been enough to send him back in time. And Rukia's method… well, he doubted Stalker would take too kindly to Ichito stabbing him.
Yoruichi rolled her eyes, which was rather impressive considering she was still a cat, "Unohana has been teaching you to heal, right?"
Ichigo nodded.
"Treat it like that and see if it helps."
"That's it?"
"It's not like I can transfer reiatsu, you know."
"What about that hot spring in your super-secret training grounds under sokyoku hill?"
"That only heals. It wouldn't give him enough reiatsu to survive."
Ichigo looked back down at his and Stalkers hands, "Good thing I've always been a quick learner."
"Allow me," Ossan said, stepping forward and offering his own hand. "I am Ichigo's quincy powers as well as his sword. As you are aware, quincy absorb reishi from their surroundings,
reversing this is not impossible, however."
"Thank you," Stalker said, reaching out.
Ossan in turn, took his hand with the same steady decorum he did all things, "Make no mistake, I am doing this for Ichigo."
"Tch," Shiro said at the same time, "don' go gettin' any ideas, Stalker. Just 'cause King wants ta help ya doesn't mean I won't cut ya down if ya try anythin'."
Ichigo rolled his eyes but said nothing. He was more charmed by his spirits' protectiveness than anything else, after all.
Just as he was about to ask how they would go about discovering how to release Koga, Yoruichi's head whipped to the side. She was on her paws a second later, taking two steps back and Ichigo felt his stomach drop at what she said next.
"Byakuya is almost here."
Shiro disappeared without a word as Ichigo turned to Stalker, "You need to run."
"There's no time for that," Yoruichi hissed out, voice low as she sunk further towards the ground, eyes never leaving the opposite line of trees. Not that Ichigo could image she saw much of anything with how dark it was – clouds obscuring the moon and casting everything into shadows. Ichigo felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, going cold and then hot and then chilling. If they were caught like this…
"Come into my inner world," he said on a rushed whisper. "You said you can enter a Shinigami's mind, right? Enter mine."
"What?" Stalker said, flinching back slightly.
"Enter mine," he said, "come on, we don't have time."
Ossan glanced between the two before giving a small nod and returning to Ichigo's mindscape himself. Stalker watched Ossan go before glancing at the trees.
"Now or never," Yoruichi hissed.
And then Ichigo was being stabbed through the chest with Stalker's overly long nails. He gasped more from reflex than pain as a pressure built and then like a bubble it popped and Ichigo was flooded with a foreign reiatsu. It wasn't entirely unpleasant. He blinked away the spots in his vision to find Stalker gone.
Just in time, too, as Ichigo turned to spot Byakuya break through the trees, captain's haori flapping rather dramatically behind him, eyes sharp and face the picture of Kuchiki stoicism. Although Ichigo knew the man was far from happy to see him. All Ichigo could do was hope that none of this would get back to Aizen or Yama-ji. Hope that he could convince the upright Kuchiki Clan leader who followed the rules like they were his religion to break them.
Ichigo was screwed.
"He won't recognize you, right?" Ichigo said low, moving his mouth as little as possible and not daring to look at Yoruichi as he said it.
"He shouldn't," she said just as quiet. "I did manage to keep some secrets."
Let's hope you're right, Ichigo thought as Byakuya came to stop in front of them.
"Ichigo," Byakuya started, voice stern and eyes sterner, "what are you doing out here at this hour?"
"Training," Ichigo said, keeping his head high and voice even. It was true enough, Ossan had just been about to show him a technique for transferring reiatsu.
"Does Aizen know?" Byakuya asked, but with the tone he said it in there was no way he didn't already know the answer.
"Aizen doesn't let me train at all," Ichigo said instead, crossing his arms. He would need to play this perfectly. Be childish but not too childish or Byakuya would see him as irresponsible and reckless instead of determined and hardworking; would never agree to bending at all.
"That's no excuse," Byakuya said. "Did you not consider how dangerous it is for you to be out alone with an unknown enemy in Soul Society. One that has already attacked you."
Ichigo scowled, "All the more reason to train and get stronger."
Byakuya frowned, "You're young."
Thanks for the reminder, Ichigo almost snapped back.
"It isn't your job to protect everyone. It is our job to protect you."
Bullshit.
Their job?! Since when?! They'd sent him off to fight a war he'd never wanted to be a part of when he was hardly a fraction of their age! Handed him power and danger and death on a platter like it was their right to demand he be the hero, the martyr, the disposable one. They did nothing but watch as he stepped forward to shoulder the weight of tearing apart his soul. He'd done what was right, he knew. Stood in front of his friends and family and stopped them from getting hurt, from dying. Except… Except losing that much of himself, traveling back to this time has made him selfish enough to see that there must have been another way. A vicious scream trembled at the back his mind. Protect him? They'd never done that before. And Ichigo was more than aware that they wouldn't start now.
That he was still the one walking this plank.
"Come, Ichigo," Byakuya commanded, "I'll take you back to Aizen-taichou."
"No," Ichigo declared, all but throwing the plan to get Byakuya to bend out the window.
"This isn't a discussion."
"You're right," Ichigo shot back, "it isn't. I'm not going to let you drag me back to Aizen so he can stop me from training. Who are any of you to stop me from getting stronger? From trying to protect those I care about?"
"And who do you want to protect so badly?"
"My mom," Ichigo said, head held high. "At least it started with her, and then my sisters were born, and I swore I'd protect them too. Only I ended up here and then the ones I want to protect become more. Became my blades and Rukia and Yachiru and Hinamori and Unohana and-," Ichigo huffed,
"I'm not some superhero who can protect everyone, but I'm also not someone who can accept only protecting those I can hold in my own hands. So I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to keep moving forward and training and I won't let you or Aizen stop me."
"Impressive words from someone so young," Byakuya conceded. "But there are rules. There is an order to things that even you, for all your resolve, must follow."
Ichigo snorted, where had he heard this before? "An order to things? You have a lot of pride speaking about that when you won't even treat your own sister properly."
He could feel Yoruichi's eyes burning into the side his head, all but ordering him to stop talking. But he wouldn't. Couldn't. This was the best opportunity he'd get to try and change Byakuya's behavior towards Rukia. Or, at least, to start it.
Byakuya's eyes narrowed, lips thinning, "You have no idea what you're talking about, Ichigo."
"How couldn't I, after seeing the way you treat Rukia… Do you know why older brothers are born first? To protect their younger siblings, and you," he shook his head, "have you ever even done that?"
"Enough," Byakuya snapped, his cold pride finally melting under his fury. "I'm taking you back to Aizen-taichou."
"Don't bother," Ichigo spat, "I'll go back to the fifth myself."
And with the he picked up Yoruichi and flash-stepped away. Rome hadn't been built in a day and so there wasn't even a chance he'd be able to change Byakuya's mind with just this conversation, but it was the first brick.
"You're an idiot," Yoruichi told them after a few minutes. "There is no way he won't tell Aizen."
"Worth it."
For Rukia? It would always be worth it.
Later.
After he'd gotten back to find Aizen waiting – black butterfly fluttering away – and looking none too pleased.
Later, when he had finally tucked himself in for the night and stopped the ringing in his ears from Aizen's rather long and frustrated rant about safety and health and listening to what he was told and blah blah blah I'm an evil psychopath who wants to take over the three realms but needs to play caretaker until I steal the death-ball.
Later, he let himself fall into the familiar landscape of sideways skyscrapers dotted sparingly with the start of a few trees and flowers. Let himself sink onto the cool glass and stared at his reflection in the mirror-like glass opposite. Stared at the way three spirits came to settle around him.
"Since you're in my head, you might as well tell me your name," Ichigo said, turning his head just enough to look at his guest. "Either that or I can keep calling you Stalker."
"Call me what you like. Only my wielder will be able to hear me say my name," Stalker paused, looking at the world around him and then back and Ichigo, a thoughtful and longing look there, "but for propriety, I am Mura-."
Ichigo grinned, "Mura…?"
The spirit froze, his ice-blue eyes wide and mouth parting. "You can hear it?"
"Only a part of it," Ichigo said with a shake of his head.
Mura fell silent, eyes thoughtful and reserved and pained and something sickening rose up in Ichigo's chest at the sight. Something that said it was wrong and Mura shouldn't look like that. That he should- should…
Should what?
He didn't know.
"Is it true?" Mura asked then. "You travelled back in time to get your zanpakuto back?"
Ichigo looked at Mura in surprise and then to Shiro and Ossan. Had they said anything?
"Don't look at us, King, we didn't say a thing."
"Right," Ichigo said after a moment of thought, "right, I forgot you could read memories."
"Then it's true." Mura hummed, unreadable expression securely in place, "You would even go this far… do the impossible for your spirits."
Ichigo shook his head, "It wasn't like we knew it would happen. I'd-," his fists clenched, jaw working as he stared up at the reflection in the glass, "I'd given them up once and…"
"You regret it."
"No," Ichigo shot back, bristling at the implication he could ever regret protecting everyone, but then he deflated, a sigh working its way past his lips. "No, I don't regret what I did and why, but… I didn't think it would hurt so much."
"How could being less then whole be anything but painful?"
Ichigo snorted, "Well, when you say it like that…" When he said it like that, of course it would be unbearable. Even if once upon a time he'd dreamed of having a normal life. Even if once upon a time he had no intentions of doing anything about seeing spirits. He shook his head, "Still, it wasn't anything so selfless as you make it sound. I did it because they're part of me, and I couldn't live without that. It was… it was selfish if anything."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting what is best for yourself," Mura said, steady and so very confident.
Ichigo hummed a soft, noncommittal sound. Being selfish, agreeing to Orihime's plan, had given him a second chance. He'd pushed the world and the world had pushed back but it had also given way enough that Ichigo got to see his mom again. Got his zanpakuto back.
Then again, what else could he have done?
Given up?
Spent the rest of his life looking back at what and who he once was and what he once had?
Not a chance.
