Ochako arrives to check in on Himiko, and is once again reminded how much she hates Himiko's parents. Izuku has a difficult time, but gets some advice from an unexpected source.

Content Warning: Suicidal thoughts and ideation


Ochako didn't wait a moment once she arrived at Izuku's house. She blew through the door, ignoring the lanky blonde man she idly assumed was All Might, rushing down the hall to Izuku's room where she nearly tripped over the carpet as she shoved the door open. She needed to make sure Himiko was okay, no matter what!

Izuku looked up at her, unsurprised, his eyes red-rimmed but soft and clear. Himiko, her hair down, was bundled in his arms with what looked like one of Izuku's shirts, the slender blonde looking like she was swimming in it since his shoulders were broader than hers. At the sound of the door opening, Himiko turned around, her eyes watery and broken, the sight of Ochako bringing some light back into her eyes. Izuku happily opened his arms, releasing Himiko who began to stumble over towards Ochako, the brunette not hesitating to cross the room and drag Himiko into a tight, almost bruising hug.

"I'm here, Himi," Ochako murmured into Himiko's shoulder, the blonde teenager nodding her head as she buried it in Ochako's neck, making a muffled sound of agreement. Izuku stepped up to the two and gently led them to his bed, encouraging them to sit down on it, taking the seat on Himiko's other side as she curled into Ochako's side. Ochako turned to Izuku, eyes questioning.

"We're gonna stay in my room tonight. I'll take the floor, you guys can take the bed-" Izuku began, but Ochako's arm lifted off Himiko's back and pointed peremptorily in Izuku's face.

"Nope, none of that. We all use the bed or we all use the floor, one or the other," she replied, her tone firm. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, and she could see Izuku's eyes widen as blood rushed to his face, and felt Himiko shimmy in her arms as if she was taken aback…but Ochako didn't care right now. It was…it was just like one of their sleepovers when they were kids, that's all, and she told Izuku and Himiko as much! Sure, she wasn't sure they entirely agreed with her that it was the same but…Himiko was upset, and it was because of her shitty parents (even if she didn't know the whole story, Izuku's earlier question told her enough), and they were gonna spend the night together and figure it out.

Of course, she didn't exactly think it through, what it meant. Himiko…didn't want to let them go. And it wasn't like she minded hugging Himiko, or Izuku, or anything of the sort. But in order for both of them to hold Himiko, they all…had to be in the same small space, especially as the blonde really wanted to curl up. Which made sense because she was freezing what the hell. Then again, if Ochako was being honest, she felt a bit of a chill too. She found herself subconsciously moving closer towards Izuku, who felt like a furnace compared to the temperature around them, which she noticed Himiko doing as well.

Oh well. It was awkward but did it matter, beyond making Himiko feel comfortable? Her hangups about this, the weirdness of a sleepover with her now grown childhood friends, was not nearly as important as Himiko's well-being…so she didn't bother. And luckily, Izuku was in accord with her without too much issue. His bed wasn't massive, but it was large enough the trio could fit if they squeezed, which Himiko was very much in favor of. So set, Ochako slid into the side closest to the wall (Izuku had insisted, just in case someone fell off the bed he'd let it be him and she was too tired to fight him over it), Himiko clambered into the middle, and Izuku on the edge facing the room.

Without giving much room for hesitation, Himiko latched onto Ochako's neck and buried herself into the brunette's side, still nonverbal and still triggering every single protective instinct in her heart. She caught a glimpse of Izuku as he turned off the lights, plunging the room into darkness; his eyes glowing softly in the dark, the same tortured emotions playing in his eyes, a green mirror of her own feelings. Maybe she should be more concerned by the glow, or the fact he looked like he was about to break something, but since she felt the same she didn't think she could disagree in the slightest. He carefully slid into the bed, awkwardly pressing closer to the blonde between the two, reaching down to pull the blanket up and over them.

Himiko let an annoyed grumble, one hand unlatching from around Ochako's neck and vaguely waving behind her, until she managed to grab hold of Izuku's arm. With a tug that made Izuku go wide-eyed and let out a quiet yelp, she yanked his arm over her, pulling it around her abdomen, his arm crossing with the one Ochako had laid over Himiko's hip. He gave Ochako a rather helpless look, but Ochako simply shrugged…this was what Himiko wanted, she wasn't going to complain. Izuku let out a deep sigh, before nodding slightly, finally getting comfortable against the blonde. His fingers tapped against the back of Ochako's hand, the brunette unable to hide the small smile that appeared on her face at the feeling.

She wasn't happy she had to come out here because of this…not that she was unhappy to be here, oh no, she was already missing her Izu and Himi. No, she just wished it was for a much, much happier reason. Even the whole Quirk thing would have been acceptable, but nope, Himiko's asshole parents were ruining everything. When she was little, she never quite understood how bad it was; then again, Himiko didn't really talk about it much. She just knew Himiko's parents were very strict and didn't like her quirk (which to eight year old Ochako made no sense, Himiko's Quirk was the coolest!).

It wasn't until she got older she started to wonder, started to be concerned about where Himiko was in life, and if her parents ever accepted her Quirk…and tonight she had the very painful realization they never did. Which made Ochako have to wonder, what all did Himiko have to deal with?

People often thought of Ochako as an airhead, she knew that. She cultivated that persona a bit; when she realized they'd think it anyways, she figured she may as well lean into the bubbly, cheerful spaz of a girl. It meant people made fun of her less (still made fun of her but at least they liked pretending to be nice sometimes). It also meant they dismissed her…which was in some ways an advantage. Made it easier for her to get away with her training, since no one really bothered her (also easier to hide the skipped meals). But she learned really early on how to read between the lines of what people said, and how people actually felt.

Her parents lied to her a lot, mostly about money and food and bills. She never begrudged them it, she knew what and why they lied, they wanted to make her safe and happy. It wasn't like she was much better anyways, so she'd be a hypocrite to be upset with them for trying to protect her. People in the town lied a lot…not directly, no, they didn't like to be rude to someone's face, but the moment your back was turned? Oh, the gossip would be everywhere. And she hated it. Why can't people just be upfront?

But people aren't. And she decided to stop caring, and focused on learning how to tell what someone really thought…which led her back to Himiko. She wasn't dumb. When explaining her Quirk to Izuku and her, Himiko kept almost calling her Quirk a curse. And she was truly, genuinely upset when she realized they had to drink blood like she did (even if Ochako didn't mind, it was kind of tasty now). But Himiko had avoided saying it, just kept trying to hide it. Ochako didn't think Izuku noticed…then again, she was pretty sure he was too busy feeling guilty for 'taking' their Quirks, or something equally as dumb.

Why were her two best friends such dummies, she had to wonder. And yes, they were still her best friends…she never could get close to the people back home. They just judged her and her parents, even though her parents did their best it wasn't good enough. Either way, Himiko was upset right now, and she was going to do her damndest to help her. And then Izuku too, because no way he went from a slightly skittish kid to this anxiety-ridden wreck over these past ten years without a reason (also why did he always flinch when she tried to hug him was it something she did wrong)?

Didn't matter right now. Right now, she had to make Himiko feel better…and the best she could do was hold onto her, with Izuku right there, letting her know that they weren't leaving her…not again. Never again.


Izuku slept fitfully, uncomfortable being so close to the girls. What if they noticed? He'd made sure to be as covered up as possible…sweatpants, a long sleeved shirt, the gloves Ochako had given him to protect him from activating her Quirk, but still…they were all very close.

But that wasn't what was really keeping him up, was it? He knew better. He knew the truth. He was being a selfish prick, a bastard who couldn't help but let his own feelings take hold…Himiko was the one who needed help, who needed to be saved right now, and yet he couldn't shake this stupid feeling! His skin felt like it was crawling, tingles running up his spine, his mind swimming with ideas, red red red, his life was just red. It's all he could think about right now, think about how much he'd fucked up, to the point he caused this.

Because he did. He knew he did. If it weren't for him, Himiko wouldn't have gotten caught. No, Himiko didn't tell him that, but he wasn't an idiot. This was the night they were supposed to talk to their parents about going to UA to talk to Nezu and All Might, and this is the night her parents were bad enough she ran? Yeah. He caused this. He hurt Himi. Of course he did, that's all he ever did, he knew that.

He had practice in slipping out of his bed, and even with the grip Ochako and Himiko had on his arm, he was able to make it out of the bed without waking either of them. He couldn't be here right now, couldn't sit here and shake, couldn't enjoy their warmth and the niceness of being able to actually touch his old friends, no. He didn't deserve that, not when he was at fault for this. And he'd totally messed up Ochako's plans too, since she had to come here and fix his fuckup, by giving Himiko real comfort, unlike him.

He crept out of his room, feeling like he couldn't breathe as he walked. One hand against the wall, slowly creeping along in the dark, the deadly silence of the night. His throat felt like it was closed, like he couldn't even swallow. His scars ached something fierce, even the healed ones felt sensitive in the chill of the night. Idly, he noticed he could see way better than before…Himiko's eye mutation, he surmised, making it easy to navigate his way through the dark. He saw his mom, sleeping on the couch…All Might, curled up on the other one. The Uraraka's had to be in his mom's room he assumed; knowing his mom, she probably insisted (even though that hadn't been what she'd initially told him), and they weren't able to fight her off.

But it also meant he knew how to leave, silent and stealthy, reaching the door and slipping outside. He didn't bother grabbing his shoes…he didn't need them, not to just be away, to be far far away, under the night sky (the stars reminding him of Ochako), just thinking about the red tinge to his life, to his world, the wish he could find his blades and bring them with him because he just needed to stop thinking; god, if only he could just shut his stupid brain up for five minutes!

Izuku collapsed onto the concrete beneath him, leaning against the balcony wall. He glanced over it and down, idly categorizing the fact they were on the second floor (not high enough to guarantee anything although he could jump really high with One For All now…)

No! Okay, no, no, ignore those thoughts, ignore them. Mom would be hurt (would she)? Yes she would! Gah! Izuku slammed his hands over his head, pressing his face between his knees as he sat up against the balcony. Izuku hated when his brain started saying stupid things like this. He didn't doubt his mom! He never would doubt her! He knew she loved him, she'd do anything for him!...and that was part of the problem, wasn't it? She would give up anything for him. She had given up a lot for him, over the years. Over and over again, she'd sacrificed, and he could do nothing to make it up to her. Sometimes…sometimes he thought she'd be better off without him. Yeah, it'd upset her, but she'd be better eventu-

"You okay, Izuku?" a soft voice asked, making him jolt in place. He lifted his head off his knees, blinking in the dark, seeing…Ochako? Wait, no, that was her mom. They really did look a lot alike, now that he thought about it, it was pretty clear where she got her looks from.

He cleared his throat. "S-sorry, Mrs. Uraraka, I'm just getting some air."

"Miu, please. You've known me since you were little, you can call me Miu," she replied, Izuku able to see the soft smile on her. She tilted her head to the side, a gesture that reminded Izuku a lot of Ochako when she wanted to know something. "You look upset. Are you sure you're okay?"

Izuku swallowed, demanding his racing heart and swirling thoughts to simmer down. He didn't want her to dig too deeply into why he was sitting out here, so he needed to be as calm and reasonable as possible. "I-I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep, um, so I came out here for a bit. It's um, you know, kinda crowded inside."

Miu nodded, stepping over to the balcony and leaning against it, looking up at the stars. "I understand. It's been quite the evenin', hasn't it? I know 'Chako's been real upset. She was practically beggin' us to floor it the whole way here…which didn't do much, since we were in a car with a cop," she chuckled softly as she said that, Izuku unable to resist the half-smile that snuck onto his face at the mental image of Ochako yelling at the officer to speed up. Miu let out a soft sigh, glancing down at the seated Izuku. "Mind if I take a seat?"

"Oh, um, sure, go ahead," Izuku replied, shifting over slightly as Miu sat down beside him, a half a meter or so distance between the two.

Silence reigned for a moment or two, before Miu spoke again. "It's a beautiful night though. Harder to see the stars out 'ere in the city, though."

"Y-yeah, all that light pollution and stuff," Izuku muttered, unsure where she was going with this.

Miu nodded. "Still…it's nice to sometimes just sit and look up, you know? I used to take 'Chako out to stargaze back when she was little. Something comfortin' about lookin' up and realizin' there's just so much more out there. An entire universe we ain't seen yet, out there waitin' for someone to come lookin'." After a moment, she turned to look at Izuku. "What about you? 'Chako says you're still aimin' to be a hero, yeah?"

"Um, yeah. I…did 'Chako tell you about m-my Quirk?" Izuku asked, his voice cracking at the end.

Miu nodded. "Yep. Kinda crazy, but if anyone was gonna impress All Might, it was gonna be you. Spoke to him earlier, when you kids went to bed. Nothin' like I thought he'd be, but I guess that's on me for assumin'. Still, pretty heroic of you, runnin' in to save your friend," Miu paused when she saw Izuku flinch, but other than a slight narrowing of her eyes didn't react, "without any sort of power. Kinda crazy, but then again, you always were a bit reckless as a kid too. Remember when you convinced the girls to go on that hike with you?"

Izuku flushed, his swirling emotions blanketed under a sudden surge of embarrassment. "M-Miu!"

She began to giggle, her laugh so much like Ochako's he felt his breath seize in his chest for a brief moment at the sound. "Yer still so easy to tease, Izuku. You know though…for all this craziness, I'm glad you and Himiko found 'Chako again. She's been missin' you two somethin' fierce."

"...she has?"

Miu nodded gravely. "Oh yeah. More than she'd ever admit to me or her dad, but she was. People back in our town didn't really like her much, 'cause Katashi and me didn't make a lot of money. Not that much of that town was great with money, but we were the outsiders. And 'Chako's always been a bit fierce, so she didn't take it well when people said rude things. She got pretty good at keeping her temper, but people still noticed. She didn't really have many friends…not like you two."

Izuku blinked at the knowledge, finding it hard to reconcile Ochako, the kindest, sweetest person he knew, not having friends. Sure, he knew about her temper too (the one time Himiko and Izuku had ticked her off, they swore never to do it again), but otherwise she was so…so nice! How could anyone not like her, were they all blind and stupid? It's like the people who didn't like Himiko, how could they remotely think anything but the best of her? Like her parents? What the hell was that?!

Miu arched an eyebrow at Izuku, cluing him into the fact that he was both muttering and apparently his face had twisted in a combination of disbelief and anger. She let out a soft chuckle, her face softening a bit. "I'm glad you three found each other again. I know Katashi thinks the same, and so does yer mom. You two make her happier than she's been in years. So don't you worry none about how well yer helping them, cause you already did help. And we'll figure out this Himiko thing just fine, I promise. She's important to 'Chako, so she's important to me and Katashi too…and so are you," Miu added, her voice going even softer at the end.

Izuku swallowed, feeling tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. This wasn't fair. For so long he only had his mom, and he wanted so much to make things better for her, like she did for him, but he never could. Then All Might, giving him a chance, showing him faith and trust and it wasn't fair because how could he spurn that at any step?! Finding Himiko and Ochako once more, and now Himiko needed him…and then Miu out here trusting him with her daughter? How could Izuku not do this? He…he had to help. He had to be there. He had no choice.

Maybe this was for the best, anyways. He knew it was wrong, the way he sometimes wondered about swimming out into the ocean and never returning, or when he casually looked up and wondered how high he could leap with One For All and not land safely. The times he would look up certain things on the internet, ignoring all the phone numbers popping up. It was always idle consideration, not really actively thinking about it…but sometimes it'd just be there, lurking beneath the surface, waiting for him to have one bad day and slip up.

Sometimes it was all he could think about, when he would hide in his bedroom, blades to skin and the world becoming red once more. Sometimes he wasn't even thinking about it, just letting the edge take away the edge from his mind, slicing away at his thoughts and fears and feelings, leaving nothing but the cold comfort of steel. Sometimes it'd just…be there, beneath the surface, lurking like a predator waiting for its prey to make one misstep, one step too far into the depths.

But the intellectual part of his brain knew this was wrong. Knew he shouldn't think that way. Knew that whatever thoughts that appeared unwillingly in his mind weren't him, they were the results of an imbalance of chemicals (were they really was he sure they were), and his mom really did love him, it wasn't faked, and she wouldn't be okay if she knew (she'd be fine she'd be happier in the end). Every day, every minute, he had to fight and claw and struggle against the drowning morass of thoughts that simply appeared, with little to no warning.

Izuku took a deep, shuddering breath. He had to take what Miu said and use it. Bring it to bear, use it as his sword and shield, use it to beat back those thoughts as much as he could. He needed to save people. He had to. So he could use that, that drive, that passion, that pain, and use it to fight back. This was what he had to do, his duty, his purpose. He had people he needed to help to support, and people to protect. Okay. He could do this. He had to.

Izuku offered a smile to Miu, wide and guileless, a practiced grin to reassure others that he modeled after his hero. "Thank you, Miu. You're right. I know we'll make sure Himi's okay. I-I think I can go back to bed now."

Miu's eyes stared searchingly into Izuku's. He felt a bit strange, knowing that there was no way she could see as clearly as he could now that he had Himiko's eyesight (gosh that was so weird to think about but also a bit exciting), yet she still seemed to see something he couldn't. But after a moment, she offered him another smile and began to get to her feet. Izuku leapt up before her and offered his hand (his mother raised a gentleman after all, of course he'd help someone else to their feet), which she took with a chuckle.

He opened the door quietly, letting her go before him, the older woman giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder before heading back to the room she'd been staying in, leaving Izuku alone in the dark. After a moment, he sighed quietly, making sure to lock the door behind him as he walked back to his bedroom. He'd deal with this all in the morning…for now, he needed to sleep.


Miu and Katashi are the names for Ochako's parents that my friend Aliandris came up with and graciously permitted me to use, as I am terrible at naming in MHA. Check out his work!