Kimono weighed heavy on her shoulders and the promise on her soul. Sakura sipped sake from a glass, glancing out of the corner of her eye at the man beside her. The strong shoulders, spiky black hair and stern expression on his face constantly gave her shivers. She couldn't think of anything but the ceremony that had just taken place; the vow to be and love until the end of her life. Ever since she was a child, Sakura had dreamed of a lavish wedding with the person who would be her half, only to have her dreams dashed a few years later.
Drinking their drink to the end, they set the glasses aside, turning to face each other. Masking her fear, Sakura smiled sweetly at Sasuke so as not to disappoint her and his parents at the outset. It was her duty to play the good wife.
"I declare you husband and wife." The clergyman bowed, closing the small book.
A lump stood up in Sakura's throat. The decision had been made, there was no turning back. On her shoulders began to lay the stones that would grow larger every day.
Letting out the trembling air through her mouth, she raised her head, looking into the man's eyes. Now he should kiss her; lean in, putting his lips to hers for the first time to show his family the affection he has for his wife. But it was foolish to expect love in an arranged marriage. That's why when he left to join his parents without a word to her, Sakura only felt the sting of failure. She couldn't make her husband pay even a little attention to her; she had let everyone down, once again.
With a brisk step, Mebuki approached her daughter, wiping away tears. It wasn't hard for Sakura to see that the mother's happiness today was not at all sincere. For how could she be happy after what she had done?
"It was a beautiful ceremony." She brushed away her falling strands of hair on her forehead "And your kimono looks so beautiful on you."
She ran a dreamy eye over her daughter's outfit, wondering how she would look in it herself. Sakura assumed that Mebuki wouldn't need any reason to marry a rich man if she had so many amenities. But Sakura was not her mother, and that vision terrified her - locked inside four walls, with a person who didn't even deign to ask how she was feeling.
"Thank you."
She was glad she had managed to mask her emotions, otherwise she would have cried right here and now, asking her parents to get her out of here and undo all the fuss.
"Sakura," Kizashi squeezed his daughter's shoulder, "we are grateful to you."
"Yes, yes, very much, dear." Mebuki joined her husband's sentence, "Thanks to you, we can leave for the Land of Wind tomorrow."
She raised tired eyes at her parents.
"You're leaving? But..." she couldn't understand. A week ago they had just moved into Konoha.
"We'll be back soon." assured her mother, "Your grandmother is sick, we can't leave her like this."
The reason was by all means valid, as all that mattered to Sakura was the health of her loved ones, but the knowledge that she would be left completely alone, without family and friends by her side in a new place with a not-so-nice man overwhelmed her.
"Of course." She said in a light tone, not arousing the suspicions of her parents, who probably had little interest in her opinion anyway, "Then, have a safe trip."
They thanked her, heading toward the Uchihas. Sasuke stood in the middle, between his brother and father, talking to them. He opened his mouth infrequently, listening to the conversation more than taking part in it. As she stood next to him, they all quieted down. Sakura felt a burning gaze on her, as if she was about to perform somewhere. Although, she could already be considered as an actress, playing from a script written by people who only required her to play the role of a wife and not show too much on stage. The whole setting and atmosphere resembled a theater, where the main attraction was two young people forced into marriage. How will they cope? What will come out of it? Is true love destined for them? The audience must wait until the end of the show to find out the answers.
Mikoto stared at them the most. The woman was smiling adorably, waiting for a gesture. Sakura became tense, and intrusive thoughts alone told her that she should do something to please Sasuke's mother. So she extended her hand toward her husband's hand, but before her fingers could even touch his, Sasuke intertwined his hands behind his back, preventing her from catching him.
She laughed nervously, increasingly understanding her predicament.
"We've chosen a good woman for you, Sasuke. Don't you think so?" Mikoto embraced her son, smiling happily "She is so pretty and kind."
"Aa."
There was not an ounce of honesty in that short answer. In order not to make his mother sad, Sasuke agreed with her without really knowing Sakura, since he had decided not to listen to her at all when they first met.
"Forgive me," Fugaku spoke up, "but it's getting late. Itachi and I have to get ready for work tomorrow."
Mikoto kissed her husband on the cheek, wishing him a good night. Itachi said only to his brother - "Congratulations", at which Sasuke rolled his eyes, and disappeared with his father.
"Okay, then, so as not to waste your time, I'll show you your new home."
Grabbing Sakura's hand, the woman and the others left the room, which began to suffocate everyone by the amount of unfulfilled dreams, lack of love and a shaky future left in it.
A short distance separated them from the temple and their new residence. Both were in the Uchiha clan's district. Therefore, after ten minutes of walking, Sakura and Sasuke could see a small house, upholstered in dark wood. A garden in front and flowers adorned the grass, with growing tomatoes adding to the beauty. The place already looked much better than the house she had lived in all her childhood.
Passing through the gate, they walked along a path streaked with white stones. The black door stood open, beckoning them inside. Sakura was the first to enter, and before her eyes appeared a short hallway and living room. To the left was a sizable bathroom, and the kitchen was connected to the dining room, arranged right next to the living room, only separated by a half-wall. To the right was a bedroom, and across from it was an unfurnished children's room. There was even a study. Sasuke's mother had prepared everything in colors of beige, light green and purple.
"How beautiful it is here." Mebuki turned to Mikoto.
"Thank you very much. I tried my best."
The women were engrossed in conversation. Sakura surreptitiously glanced at Sasuke, watching his reaction. The disgruntled man was throwing a stern look at every corner of the house, paying no attention to anyone around him.
"Why don't we leave the newlyweds alone?" Kizashi approached the women.
Sakura turned toward her father. She didn't want them to leave; she knew what would have to happen. But there was no other way out. Mebuki approached her daughter, kissing her on the forehead.
"Congratulations."
She didn't respond, taking a step away from her mother. She had no right to say that, not after all this happened.
The door closed, and Sakura and Sasuke were relieved for a moment. It didn't last long, however, as their thoughts returned to reality. Dreaming that it was all over, Sakura stood with her back to her husband, trying to unbuckle the belt in the back. It was coming laboriously to her, so she asked Sasuke for help.
"Would you take it off for me?" she asked, but the man said nothing, so she turned her head to the side looking at him from over her shoulder "Sasuke?"
"Are you taking a room or would you rather sleep on the couch?"
Uncertainly she opened her mouth, sensing from the beginning that he would not want to sleep in the same bed with her.
"Um, I can take a room if you have no problem with that. After all, it was your parents who bought this house."
He waved his hand dismissively, not caring about the whole sentence. For him, only a short answer was important.
Letting out the air she was holding, Sakura finally removed her belt. Less and less layers on her equaled more and more anxiety. She had never had sex with anyone. In her twenty years of life, Sakura had never met a person to whom she could give herself fully. And now she had to sink into the arms of a virtually unknown person.
Two layers of kimono fell to the floor, leaving Sakura in the last one - thin, white and translucent. A shiver ran over her skin, but leaving her fears at the back of her mind, she approached Sasuke, busying herself with removing his outfit. Recalling her friend's story, she looked at her husband alluringly; or at least she hoped it looked that way; biting her lower lip with teeth.
Standing on tiptoe, she ran her fingers gently over the man's neck. She waited for a reaction - hands on her waist, lips on her neck or mouth, but all she got was a disgusted look and a cold touch on the wrists.
"What are you doing?"
The question confused Sakura.
"What… I should be doing." she hesitated, not quite sure what Sasuke wanted to hear.
"Don't touch me."
"Oh," she panicked, humping slightly, "should I just lie down, and you-"
"Don't say such things." Sasuke slipped past her, walking into the kitchen. Sakura noticed how he trembled over her words. So he didn't even see her as attractive enough to go to bed with her "Look, we have to set boundaries."
"Borders?" she repeated, picking the kimono off the floor. She thought the man was joking, but by the look on his face he inferred a total different "You are serious."
Familiarizing herself with the requirements and duties assigned to her by Mikoto, Sakura came to the conclusion that Sasuke would not limit himself and would treat her as... a wife. Her fear and distance was due to the confirmation that she would have to be ready for his every call. However, Sasuke did not express any desire to be in her presence at all.
"When I'm in my office, you don't bother me. And when I'm not there, you don't come in."
"Why?"
"I have a lot of important scrolls there. Also, if you don't have anything interesting to share, don't bother me. I like peace and quiet." He sipped his water.
"You mean we shouldn't talk to each other at all?"
"Keep it to a minimum."
"A-?"
"How many more of these questions are you going to ask?" he looked at her irritated.
She had a lot to say on the subject, but decided to keep quiet so as not to accidentally get into trouble, which could equate to breaking up the marriage and thus leaving her parents with nothing again. Sakura nodded exclusively, adding:
"You don't have to worry, I'll be quiet as a mouse."
"I hope so. Good night."
(Eight days earlier)
A shrill chill crept in through the cracks in the windows, sending shivers down Sakura's back. Only warm soup kept her warm. Unfortunately, in late spring, evenings and nights were still cold; at least in Konoha. When they moved to a village in the Land of Fire, they hoped for better conditions. Kizashi getting a job offer and an apartment told his wife and daughter about their new life, but they got exactly the same as before - nothing.
Sipping a hot meal, Sakura looked at her parents bustling around the small kitchen. They both looked tired and exhausted. From early in the morning until later at night, for the past seven days, they had been counting money and wondering what else they could do. It was always like this, Sakura noted. For as long as she can remember, she has listened to her mother cry through lack of food or the necessities to function. Her father brought home a meager salary, and Mebuki earned none.
Putting the spoon in her mouth once again, the feeling of warmth appeared only for a moment inside Sakura. The chill from outside continued to seep into the apartment, reminding the household of their despicable fate. They never had anything for themselves - all money went to living expenses, and the dreams of Sakura, their only child, remained dreams. Mebuki and her husband hated each other for it, but life taught them one thing - you can't count on others. Parents, friends, and employers had let them down, so they were left with no choice but to rely solely on themselves and, in time, on their daughter.
It was Sakura who was haggling, selling the clothes she knitted or the baked goods she made with her father's last money.
"Do you like it?" Mebuki sat down across from her daughter.
She didn't take a plate of soup for herself, leaving food for Sakura for tomorrow.
"Yes. Very good." She lied, not wanting to hurt her mother, however, the meal tasted more like plain water than soup.
Three years ago, she had her first decent dinner at a friend's house. She remembered that she even savored the taste of rice. And although Sakura felt silly to gorge herself like that, her friend enjoyed watching her eat and praised her food.
"This is good." She brushed a strand of hair away from her daughter's eyes, "I have a gift for you."
Not expecting these words, Sakura lifted her gaze from her plate to see a tiny package on the table. Bright gift paper surrounded the surprise.
"What's the occasion?"
"Open it first." Mebuki urged her. Sakura tore open the paper and a white floral dress appeared to her eyes. It was ankle-length with a delicately cut neckline "Do you like it?"
It took her breath away. She couldn't lie by saying it was ugly, because it was the most beautiful clothes she owned, but she shuddered at the thought of the cost.
"It's gorgeous." She said in a trembling voice, "And thank you, really. Yesterday I saw a job ad on the door of a flower shop. I'll go there tomorrow and reimburse you for it." Sakura didn't take a single breath as she shared her plan with her parents.
Mebuki and Kizashi looked at each other. The man finally nodded, and the woman grabbed her daughter's hand.
"We need to tell you something very important," her mother began.
"We have made a decision for you," Kizashi crouched down next to his wife, "that will improve our lives so far."
Silence fell, broken only by Sakura's intermittent breaths. They waited for some kind of reaction from their daughter, but the latter had no idea what to do, so she only asked:
"What kind of decision is this?"
"You will marry the younger son of the head of the Uchiha clan." Her mother's words made Sakura feel stressed and confused. She began to shake her head, leaning back in her chair, "I know this is not what you wanted, but they are offering good money."
The chair fell with a bang as Sakura stood up, retreating slowly.
"No..." she held her head "I'll find a better job, I promise." she tried to convince her parents, but their faces remained the same "I don't need to commit to marriage."
"Sakura, we can't afford your further education. With your basic knowledge, you won't get a better job anywhere."
"You sold me out!" she shouted, refusing to listen to her mother.
She walked toward the exit, unable to believe what was happening. So many different feelings were boiling inside, and Sakura couldn't put any of them together. She finally grabbed the door handle with the intention of leaving the apartment, when her father spoke.
"We always wanted the best for you, Sakura. However, nothing has been as it should be. This is our only chance, and unfortunately, you are the one who has to fulfill it."
She clenched her eyelids tightly while fighting back tears. How much she would give to be able to give her parents the whole world, just as they had done for the past twenty years. And that's exactly why she stayed.
The soft mattress begged her to stay in bed another whole day, but the smell of food called to her through the closed door. With her eyes still closed, Sakura inhaled the wonderful smell through her nose, not caring at all. Until she realized that she hadn't practically left her room for a week because of discomfort with the man - her husband - with whom she lived, and neither she nor he cooked meals for each other.
She jumped out of bed momentarily. Someone strange must have been in her /their/ house. Sakura walked over to the large closet, pulling out her old clothes that she had taken from her parents' apartment. Although Mikoto filled the empty space with new blouses, pants, dresses and other goods, Sakura couldn't convince herself to wear expensive clothes.
Having dressed in more outgoing clothes, she additionally tied her hair into a braid and quietly walked out into the living room. The conversation suddenly quieted, and Sakura felt that her steps were being overheard. She tensed up her body, but put on her face the most beautiful smile she could summon.
Rule number one - Sakura had to greet her husband and guests with cordiality, cheerfulness and friendliness no matter what; the Uchihas' reputation was at stake here as well, she couldn't ruin it.
She snarled under her breath before entering the living room. A stupid rule she would never have followed in her life if not for the price she would have to pay for breaking it.
"Good morning." She said, clasping her hands behind her back.
To Sakura's surprise, it was Sasuke's mother who was the unannounced guest. The woman reciprocated her smile, with a hand gesture inviting her to the table. Suddenly a shiver went through her and she felt weak - she had completely forgotten about rule number fourteen? Maybe fifteen after all. It was hard to figure out, but Sakura remembered very well how Mikoto had emphasized the words - "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Always cook for my son in the morning."
She wobbled, and the sandwich from yesterday was coming up her throat. Sakura was afraid she was about to be scolded and would no longer be married to Sasuke as quickly as she had started, but Mikoto merely walked over to her, soothingly stroking her head.
"Are you sure you can leave the room already?" she placed her hand on her forehead "Sasuke told me you were sick." She ran her fingers down her cheek, and Sakura looked stealthily at the man sitting at the table, "I made a special syrup for you."
She led her to a chair, setting out all sorts of dishes in front of her nose. Sakura bit her lip, marveling at the number of meals. She could feed herself with this for a week with her parents.
"It's better now." She replied to her mother-in-law, adopting a grateful expression.
Slowly, so her stomach wouldn't rebel, she ate her breakfast, delighting in the various flavors. Sasuke sat quietly, chewing the fish and paying no attention to Sakura. She also decided not to speak to the man, but when Mikoto moved away to the kitchen, she lightly nudged her husband with her foot and whispered - "Thank you."
He covered for her. He did it for her. Sasuke didn't want his mother to be angry with her.
"Next time don't make me lie to my mother through your behavior," he whispered, but his voice was not kind at all.
Now in a worse mood, she went back to eating. Will he ever change his attitude toward her? They were condemned to each other, so what purpose does Sasuke have in being an asshole? Was it so satisfying for him to make his own wife sad?
Mikoto returned from the kitchen, placing a hot tea next to Sakura, "Here you go. I added that syrup in there. You should recover completely soon."
She sniffed and tried it, admitting that it tasted very good. Certainly better than the infusions made by her mother for the cold.
"I don't know how to thank you,"
"You don't have to." She squeezed Sakura's shoulders, moving away from the dining room.
An awkward silence fell in the room. Trying not to worry about her and the man at her side, Sakura began devouring another meal. She couldn't help herself with so many things to choose from. She gave thanks for each piece of meat, vegetable or rice. Everything here was precious - as if she were still that scared little girl who was afraid she wouldn't find anything on the table when she got home, she would probably try to stuff a few slices of bread or eggs in her pocket.
By the third bowl of rice with sauce, she felt her stomach getting too full. She needed to stop, or else...
"You'll get sick from so much food." commented Sasuke.
"Um..." she fussed.
"You don't have to force yourself to eat."
The bored voice and his little interest in Sakura's earlier life made her angry. If he had learned even a bit about her, he would have understood. But Sasuke preferred to claim that she was an ordinary woman whose parents wanted to get even richer. He believed that she had agreed to the marriage by the sheer convenience that would come from it.
"I don't waste food, unlike you."
"Oh, yes," he looked at her, with one eyebrow raised " Would you also eat rotten bread if it were here now?"
She was not prepared for those words. Anger disappeared from Sakura's eyes, replaced by sadness. A thought passed through her lips - "Yes. When I was younger, and there was nothing but old bread in the house, I would tear off the mold and eat the clean pieces," but instead she said:
"It was out of place."
She watched alertly as a shadow of surprise quickly ran across Sasuke's face at the tone of her voice. It disappeared quickly, however. The man swallowed saliva, getting up from the table. At this time Mikoto entered the kitchen, wiping her hands on a cloth.
"I have to go now." he communicated.
The woman kissed her son on the cheek, saying - "Have a nice day," then turned her eyes to Sakura, who felt a burning gaze on her head. Despite the earlier exchange of words, she approached Sasuke to bid him a proper farewell, as a wife should, but he just passed her by without even letting her touch him. Mikoto laughed; a little nervously, a little not.
"He had to get off on the wrong foot. When he comes back he will probably make up for his behavior."
For the second time that morning, Sakura wondered if Sasuke's mother was dumb or perhaps pretending. For how can she believe everything she is told and not see the dislike with which her son looks at his wife?
"Sakura," she approached her, placing a hand on her forearm, "I didn't want to talk about it in front of Sasuke, but the dark bruises under your eyes and unkempt nails subtract some beauty from you. And those clothes don't accentuate your curves." she ran her eyes critically over Sakura's body "Tomorrow we'll go to the beautician and go shopping, what do you think?"
"Sure." She agreed reluctantly, embarrassed by pointing out flaws in her appearance.
Denying her mother-in-law was not an option.
"You'll look stunning in the photos."
"Photos?" she quipped.
"You need wedding photos for the family album. I made an appointment for you on Wednesday."
She made no comment, wondering by what miracle Mikoto had convinced her son to pose in front of a photographer, with a woman he didn't want in the slightest.
(Seven days ago)
An ornate pillow poked Sakura in the knees. She corrected herself for the fifth time in twenty minutes, drawing the attention of her mother, who was talking to Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha. With a disgruntled look on her face, she told her daughter to stand still for a while longer. The negotiations were coming to an end, making Sakura more and more aware of what she had gotten herself into.
Millions of pieces of paper to sign, twice as many rules to follow that she won't remember for the rest of her life, and appearance requirements were just the beginning. Evidently, their son had too high expectations for his future wife and now Sakura had to satisfy his every whim.
"And the job?" came to Sakura's ear, but she didn't pay attention to the question the first time, thinking her mother would answer for her again, but Mebuki poked her gently on the shoulder.
She turned her head to Mikoto, smiling sweetly, "I don't have one."
"Excellent." She commented, clapping her hands "You'll have more time to take care of the house."
There was no point in mentioning that Sakura would like to find herself some work, maybe really walk over to that flower shop, since the woman looked happy with her unemployment and probably the lack of job was somewhere, in some subsection of the rules.
Mikoto went back to continuing the conversation, but Sakura was no longer listening, directing her gaze to the wide-open door from behind which two male voices were coming. That's where he must have been.
"Sakura.", she heard her mother's displeased voice.
Four pairs of eyes looked at her and waited for an answer to her question, which she did not hear.
"I'm sorry." She said with remorse, lowering her head down. She destroys everything at the start; this is not what she promised her parents "Can you do it again?".
"Don't worry." assured Mikoto, folding her hands in front of her " I will take care of the last formalities with your mother."
So the decision was made. They had chosen her. She drew air loudly through her nose, feeling a growing pain in her chest. Some part of her faintly hoped that she didn't meet the criteria and could go home without a ring on her finger. Sakura turned her head to the side, trying to hold back tears.
"Go to them," Mikoto said suddenly, "They are outside, they probably want to meet you."
Uncertainly, she looked at her mother, and Mebuki nodded, probably wanting her daughter not to object in any way to the Uchihas' words. Sakura slowly stood up and bowed, heading for the open terrace. Her long dress bounced around the ankles, and her sweater kept her body warm. It was warm, but a cold wind was blowing, cooling off the afternoon. On her way out, she noticed two young men in the distance. They were throwing shurikens at a shield pinned on a tree, unconcerned by her appearance. Sakura had a moment to look at them. They both looked alike, from so far away the only difference was the length of their hair. In physique, they didn't differ too much either - one of them just had more ample shoulders.
Still standing on the terrace, she watched them for a moment longer, while the wind tugged her hair to the sides. Only after a minute did the one with longer hair notice her. Sakura watched as he put the ninja's tools down on the ground and waved at her briefly, inviting her to join them.
She jumped down on the grass, approaching. Sakura's stomach turned into a ball of nerves. The man's gentle smile relaxed her a bit, but nothing could help her completely.
Stopping, they came face to face. Now she noticed other distinguishing marks on the stranger's face. However, he looked really good. Two wrinkles stretching from his eyes added to his charm along with his calm expression. Warmth emanated from him; Sakura even felt like staying seated and observing the man. She couldn't say the same for his brother, who was looking over his shoulder at her, casting a rather unfriendly glance. She would rather stay away from him.
Sakura silently hoped that it was the nicer one who was to become her husband.
Without prolonging, however, she adopted the sweetest smile she could afford and introduced herself:
"I'm Sakura."
"Very pretty name." she laughed, thanking him kindly. The man finally extended his hand to her, "Itachi," she shook it uncertainly, feeling disappointed, "and this is my brother Sasuke."
Her future husband didn't even say hello, measuring Sakura nonstop with his eyes. The contemptuous gaze exerted an incredible weight on her. What did he expect from her? Didn't she look like he expected her to? What did he actually want?
Sakura struggled with her thoughts, delaying answering Itachi. She stood quietly until Sasuke grunted, with his eyes giving her silent warning because of her behavior. She opened the mouth to tell him that she did not wish such behavior in her direction, but then her mother's laughter reached her ears and Sakura sobered up, closing her mouth. She couldn't mess anything up.
"Ah..." she adopted a pleasant expression again "Nice to meet you."
"You too. My parents have made a decision?" she nodded "Then welcome to the family, Sakura." The words made her feel uncomfortable; perhaps because they would not become a real family at all.
Itachi glared at her, but Sakura kept her gaze fixed on Sasuke because she wanted to know his reaction. However, she only gave Itachi a false impression.
"Shall I leave you two alone?"
She thought about it for a while, then decided that she would give Sasuke a chance. There was a possibility that underneath his stern gaze was another man she would get to know through conversation. But before she could respond, he overtook her:
"No." The rough voice cut through the air.
She didn't even have time to do anything as Sasuke began to walk away.
"I'm sorry for him. He's not in the mood today."
Itachi tried to explain his brother's behavior.
"It's all right." She nervously scratched her wrists, unable to ward off embarrassment about her own person. She longed to disappear from this place "It's... I'll be on my way."
No one stopped her or protested. In fact, Sakura didn't even let Itachi get a word in edgewise when she decided to run away from there. Is this how she should behave? Was it the right thing to do? What if...
A conversation in the distance caught her attention. She slowed her step a bit to listen to the exchange of words between the brothers.
"Couldn't you be nicer? She will be your wife."
"Unfortunately."
She lowered her head down, understanding that for Sasuke she had already become a problem.
"Sasuke." said Itachi warningly, "You should at least take a moment to talk to her."
"Stop telling me what I should do. I met quite a few candidates. Each one was the same, so this one is probably no different either."
She heard nothing more.
In the mirror, she could see her entire figure from the front, back and side. Sakura was just fastening her belt, finishing putting on her kimono. She arrived at the photographer's office at the appointed hour, but Sasuke had not shown up by then. He had left the house that morning without saying a word, but he knew about the photos, so he should have come here twenty minutes ago.
Quietly she cursed under her breath, trying to gather the courage to come out from behind the curtains. Sasuke's job was probably solely to make her feel ridiculous. But Sakura wasn't about to let that happen. She took a deep breath, pulling open the curtain and walking out to the annoyed older man.
"How much longer do I have to wait?"
She purposely looked at the watch, as if she only now realized what time it was. At the same time she made a surprised face, and looked at the photographer with remorse.
"I'm very sorry for the fuss, sir, but in that case I must postpone..." a slamming of the door interrupted her.
Along with the man, Sakura looked at Sasuke in surprise. She honestly didn't expect to see him here anymore. She even kind of wished he wouldn't show up, thus sparing her from embarrassing photos.
"Finally." The photographer directed Sasuke to the changing room, "Please change quickly."
Her husband disappeared from view, again leaving her alone. Sakura watched the man as he set up his camera and changed lenses. Out of nowhere, she felt nauseous. Since the incident with Sasuke's mother, she had not spoken to him once. She always felt that her words would have too little meaning for him, so she preferred to remain quiet. Therefore, now she doesn't quite know how she should behave.
She remained in place, stiff as a wire, until Sasuke came out of the changing room and took a seat next to her. Then she looked up at him, and the anger she had felt for the first few minutes she had come here alone spoke the next words for her.
"Where have you been?" she whispered.
"It's none of your business, Sakura."
With each passing day he was becoming worse and worse, which she completely disliked.
"It is. I almost made a fool of myself—"
"Please look into the lens."
He muttered that she shouldn't make a scene now, then moved a little closer, positioning. The photo-taking process took longer than they would have liked. The photographer kept asking them to move closer, and they were doing so reluctantly. The distance between them was not only visible on paper, it could be seen with the naked eye and sensed in the air as well.
Nothing would ever lessen it, if only Sakura kept trying to befriend Sasuke. However, she did not believe her husband's treatment of her would change. It was probably their destiny to forever remain intruders for each other in a loveless marriage.
"Last one." communicated the photographer, looking through the viewfinder "Could you put your hand on your wife's waist?" he asked, but Sasuke shook his head negatively.
Sasuke's disgruntled expression and Sakura's sad eyes were captured in the photo.
After the flash, they could finally breathe a sigh of relief. They moved away, not glancing at each other once.
"Come back next week for photos."
"Thank you."
The two returned to the fitting room, shed their kimonos and put on comfortable clothes. At the same time, they got out and roamed the streets of Konoha, although they acted as if they didn't know one another at all. To passersby, they looked like strangers to each other. And maybe that was for the best, Sakura thought. One thing, however, did not give her peace of mind.
Sasuke did not share where he went out every day. Sakura knew he was a shinobi, so going out on missions was the norm for them, but Sasuke always returned late in the evening. Where, then, was he disappearing to? She wanted to find out; she was his wife, after all.
"Will you answer my earlier question?"
"I told you not to bother me and you were doing fine, until today." he said accusingly.
Sakura couldn't stand it.
"What is wrong with you?!"
"Will you finally stop asking these damn questions?! You just keep smiling, thanking, apologizing and asking. Do something else for a change."
With a stomp, she stopped, blocking Sasuke's path. Their first argument must have just happened in the middle of the street, among a crowd of people.
"Sasuke, I have no way to do anything else. You're not talking to me."
"You're surprised?"
The man's tone of voice and body language triggered an influx of unpleasant memories for Sakura. Exactly the same way as now she felt as a young girl at school, when her peers were avoiding her or bullying for her appearance, not having fresh clothes or not being able to go on a trip for lack of money. Standing in the middle of the crossroads, Sakura swapped bodies with a younger, disadvantaged version of herself. All her life, all she wanted was acceptance, and to this day, she hasn't gotten it completely.
Sakura looked deep into Sasuke's eyes, twisting her mouth downward.
"Don't make my life difficult, please,"
"You should have stayed out of this marriage then." he went on, not noticing the wicked mood she had caught after his last words.
"You really think I did it for my own reasons?" she squeezed her hands on the skirt "I had to marry you to help my parents."
"No—" he closed his mouth abruptly, tucking his hands into the pockets.
He must have noticed something; something she didn't know. Sasuke didn't speak again, walking slowly behind Sakura, heading home.
The next week looked exactly the same - Sakura would get up early in the morning and prepare breakfast; Sasuke would go to the bathroom, eat and leave the apartment; Sakura would do laundry, cleaning and more cooking, in between going shopping and reading; Sasuke would return in the evening and have dinner and then lock himself in the office.
After nine days had passed, Sasuke began doing his own laundry and cleaning the common area; although Sakura had told him so many times that he didn't need to do that at all; leaving her with no other duties besides making meals.
All these days they did not talk to each other. They avoided their presence like a fire, not even trying to improve their relationship after an argument. Sasuke acted as if Sakura didn't exist, and she didn't have any problem with that. In a way it was okay with her - she did what she had to do, without unnecessary unkind words.
And so passed the next day and the next, until today. Steam was rising from the pot, the kitchen smelled of various dishes. Sakura decided to make a delicate breakfast. She set all the dishes on the table, satisfied with her work.
Sakura finished at the perfect moment. Sasuke had just left the bathroom, prepared for another day. He threw her a quick glance, but did not approach.
"Breakfast."
It was the first word in weeks that she had spoken in his direction. She was slowly forgetting her own voice, due to the fact that she had no one to talk to. She spent most of her time quietly, only mumbling to herself under her breath. Her parents still hadn't returned.
Sasuke picked up the bag lying in the living room and suddenly left without a word. For a moment Sakura stood still, processing what had just happened. Never before had Sasuke left home without eating. He always sat down at the table and ate whatever was under his nose. Sakura felt terrible; he had not respected her time.
Biting her cheek, she put most of the food in the refrigerator and left only a small amount. Again, she ate her meal alone, did the dishes, washed up, cleaned up, and read. The minutes grew long, but Sakura tried not to complain. She now owned more than she had ever dreamed of.
Finally, evening came. She lit the candles, sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. When she was a child, she had no such facilities, so Sakura was overjoyed to be able to watch movies and TV series. For her, it was something new.
She lost herself in one of the series, not noticing that it had already struck midnight. Sasuke should have returned two hours ago, but he vanished into thin air. And, as usual, he didn't tell Sakura where he was going.
Stress took over her. What if something happened to him? Or if he decided to run away because he had had enough? Or if he has a lover? Sakura endured the fact that he only tolerated her presence, but she won't let herself be humiliated by being cheated on.
Going to sleep in the back of her head, she had only bad scenarios. She hardly slept through the night. She woke up every hour, checking if the couch was still empty. It was. Nightmares also occupied her head, disturbing her sleep. When the first rays of sunlight tore through the curtains, Sakura got up, realizing that lying in bed would get her nowhere. Without putting on her bathrobe, she left the room.
"Sasuke?"
Her voice echoed deafeningly through the walls. She was still alone. Although, wasn't she always, even when Sasuke was staying under the same roof with her?
Trying not to panic yet, Sakura went to the kitchen and made breakfast, but she didn't even manage to swallow the tea because she felt nauseous. So many things could happen overnight, and the worst of them would be Sasuke's death. Unable to stand in that cage any longer, Sakura ran outside, heading for the Uchiha house.
Along the way, she passed people from the Sasuke clan, greeting her with big smiles. In this area, she felt wanted, welcomed, but going outside the walls, to the rest of the village, Sakura was only met with unfavorable stares, as if everyone was judging her; they despised her for marrying one of the Uchiha. For this reason, she rarely ventured into such remote areas of Konoha.
Reaching in, she knocked. To her surprise, Itachi opened. The calm expression on his face calmed her down a bit.
"What brings you here, Sakura?"
"It's about Sasuke."
"Ah, come in, please."
He stepped aside for her. Sakura took off her shoes and followed Itachi deeper into the house. The man poured the nettle brew into a cup, handing it to her.
"Thank you."
"What exactly is the matter? Is my brother causing trouble?"
"Nothing of the sort." she denied immediately, unsure how much to reveal to Itachi.
If Sasuke's parents found out what was going on behind closed doors, they would annul the marriage without a moment's hesitation. That's why Sakura had to be careful about sharing information.
"You don't have to lie to me." he led them into the living room "I understand your situation. So?"
She finally said.
"It's not that he's creating trouble, it's just..." she chalked circles on her mug, trying to put the next words as delicately as she could "Sasuke isn't exactly... friendly towards my person."
"I might have expected that. Once again, I apologize for him."
"You don't have to. He's the one who should." she commented, and although Itachi didn't say it directly, he agreed with her.
"You, however, did not come because of this, am I right, Sakura?" he lowered his hand to the back of the couch, looking at her carefully.
"You're right. It's just that Sasuke left home this morning and hasn't returned until now. I'm worried."
Sakura's concern was solely due to the fear of losing the better life she and her parents had received. No other motives lay between her words and Itachi was well aware of that.
"He'll be back in three days. He has a mission." a disappointment could be heard in his voice.
"And he didn't tell me anything. After all..." she fell silent, angry with Sasuke. Her husband was incapable of sharing even such important information. Sakura put her mug down on the table and stood up, "I'll be on my way back. Thank you, Itachi."
She hadn't managed to take a single step when she heard his voice again:
"You can stay."
The suggestion seemed interesting.
"You must be feeling lonely. And I would love to get to know you better."
She stayed. Sakura needed a friend; someone to whom she could turn with a problem, complain or have a nice time. She missed her old friends, and contact with them was quite limited by how many days she had to wait for letters. That's why she sat back on the couch and began to talk, although she was on thin ice. She still had no idea whether she could trust Itachi.
The next two days she spent at the home of Sasuke's family, integrating with his mother and brother; she rarely saw his father. She got to know these people more, making her wonder more and more with each passing minute why Sasuke was acting like a total asshole, even though he was raised by such a wonderful woman.
On the last day of waiting, she said goodbye and went back to her place. Fatigue was making its presence known and without warning, she fell asleep with her head on the table. Sakura lay like that for maybe an hour when she heard the door lock. With eyes still sleepy, she looked at Sasuke, who was surprised to see her. She smiled imperceptibly, but quickly put on a serious face, recalling how he had treated her.
"You were waiting for me?"
"Yes." she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest.
"What for?"
"To see if you came back in one piece."
She noticed the irritation on his face.
"I always come back whole and healthy from missions."
He slipped past her, opening the refrigerator and taking out the remaining meals Sakura had left there four days ago. Food couldn't go to waste.
"I can see." She said, a tad too harshly, which she regretted after a second.
"Do you have a problem?"
Sakura stiffened, and panic seeped under her skin. She should start restraining herself, just as she had in the beginning. Now she was allowing herself too much. What if Sasuke finally couldn't stand it and announced to everyone how she was behaving toward him? That would mean only one thing.
"No." She replied, swallowing saliva. Her next words she said very uncertainly "I would just like to ask you for one thing, Sasuke."
At first he wasn't too concerned, putting all sorts of ingredients on the plate, but after a while he turned his head.
"Hm?"
Sakura took a breath.
"Tell me next time where you're going out." She crooked her fingers behind her back out of stress "Please."
Sasuke's answer dragged on mercilessly, but when it came, it surprised her in a pleasant way.
"Fine."
Having finished putting the food on, he took the plate in his hand and walked over to Sakura, handing it to her.
"Um..." She looked at him, pulling down her eyebrows.
"You never eat dinner." He slid the plate closer "Eat."
A soft carpet surrounded her bare legs, and quiet music filled the entire living room. With her pencil, Sakura glided across the page, adding more lines. New drawings of flowers were appearing in the sketchbook. She loved to draw, but only did so when she felt full of strength and happiness. For this reason, for the past two years she never once touched her painting utensils - she simply worried about money, food and prosperity every day.
Focused, she pulled down her eyebrows and bit her lip, carefully maneuvering her palms so as not to make a single mistake. She didn't raise her eyes, and her bangs obscured her view, so when the key fell with a bang on the table, she flinched and grabbed her heart.
Sakura met Sasuke, crouching in front of her and watching her drawings with interest.
"You scared me." she said to break the silence, "I thought you had already left."
Bedded couch, the absence of breakfast, which she had prepared in the evening, in the refrigerator and the lack of any sound clearly gave Sakura the false impression that she was alone.
For a long time Sasuke did not answer, looking at the paintings again and again. He ran his finger over the lines, smudging the pencil a bit.
"Have you been drawing for a long time?"
"More than ten years."
The black irises looked at her and quickly went back to looking at the paper. Sakura could have sworn she saw admiration in them for a moment.
"Hn." he picked up the keys, standing up "Can you draw portraits?"
"Why do you ask?"
Again he threw her a look like - 'More questions, seriously?', which made her a little abashed.
"Can you?" he asked a second time, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Yes."
"Then we'll talk more about this subject later." He directed his steps toward the door "I'm leaving. I promised Iruka that I would teach his students."
Sakura may not have had much of an idea who Sasuke was talking about, but she was glad that he had listened to her request and has been scrupulously informing her what he was doing since that day. As a result, she stopped worrying.
As she returned to her activity, she picked up the drawing Sasuke had taken earlier - a bouquet of cherry blossoms. Probably the prettiest one she had drawn. A lot of work went into it, so without thinking too long she took the frame out of the drawer and framed the drawing, placing it on the cabinet by the TV. Soon the pictures from the photographer would stand next to it.
That's right, photos.
Sakura reminded herself that she would have to go get them in four hours. Theoretically, they should have been ready a few days ago, but the man fell ill and had to take a leave of absence, and since he worked there alone, there was no one to replace him.
Sitting back down on the floor, she took a pencil in hand. Sakura had nothing else to do anyway. She was slowly starting to get bored, but decided she wouldn't say a word about it. Instead, she tried to enjoy what she got from fate.
Before she could realize it, five o'clock in the afternoon had struck. Sakura gathered her things and carried them to her room, taking her bag on the way. She turned off the music and headed out into the warm streets of Konoha. The road to the photographer took ten minutes. People circled from one store to another, greeting her. One old lady even approached Sakura to tell her how nice she looked today.
Sasuke's family really welcomed her nicely.
Stepping inside, a small bell rang.
"Good morning." she greeted cheerfully.
The man nodded, pulling out three photos.
"Please sign." He gave Sakura a pen.
She followed the instruction and reached into her wallet. The deducted amount of money she placed on the countertop. Sakura never took more than she needed with her; she still couldn't spend money for herself, and when shopping she always looked at the prices to take the cheaper products. She had money, but the thought that she might suddenly run out of it again took the air out of her lungs.
The photographer handed Sakura the photos and thanked her. Leaving the room, she looked at them. They looked nice, not like a married couple, but at least good. She didn't expect anything else.
Lifting her gaze, she spotted Sasuke on the other side of the path. He was standing with his brother and some woman. Itachi gently, almost imperceptibly, held his hand down the blonde's back. It was probably the one he sometimes mentioned to her.
Sakura couldn't move from her spot, although she would have liked most to disappear and not be noticed. But one thing kept her going - Sasuke's smile. Sometimes she wondered if he was even capable of it. As she could see, he was. All it took was for him to be in different company and his face would take on a softer, friendlier expression. Sakura would give up a lot to have that every day.
She couldn't look away, which is why Itachi quickly noticed her. At first she did nothing, feeling warmth in her cheeks from embarrassment, but then she herself smiled slightly and waved at them. She hoped that was enough and left, but Sasuke started walking toward her.
His smile disappeared.
"Home?" he asked, without even bestowing a single glance on her.
"Yes." she moved behind him. They walked in silence, uncomfortable. Longer Sakura could not go on like this "How was your day?"
"As usual."
'Seriously,' she thought, however, she did not say out loud. Someone should teach him how to talk to people, or tell Sakura how to talk to him. Sasuke was a walking mystery.
Instead, she placed the photo under his nose, "I thought we'd leave one for ourselves and give the rest to our parents."
"Do what you want."
"Sasuke, we are a married couple. We should make decisions together." A hint of humor could be sensed in her words.
However, Sasuke paused, glancing at her right hand and commented: "You're not wearing a ring."
She hid her hands behind the back, gasping that she had made a very big mistake, but then she noticed a spark in the man's iris, and his tone was light, not chastising.
"I promised myself that I would only wear it if I married the person I wanted to marry." they resumed their walk, walking side by side with due distance.
"As long as you don't wear it, we won't make the decision together."
"Really?" she asked, amused.
"Really."
Sakura laughed "We should talk more often, then—"
"No." Sasuke cut in, and the good humor sputtered.
"Why?"
He shrugged his shoulders, quickening his stride. She didn't want to give up.
"Sasuke—"
"Sakura, do you want to say something specifically? I don't like chitchat."
Tears burned under her eyelids, but she didn't let them fall. She needed to play strong, not show weakness. She tossed her hair back, straightening more.
"No, I just wanted to talk to someone."
Sasuke's muscles tensed gently. He clenched his fists, trying not to react otherwise. They walked the rest of the way in silence, as they always did. People greeted them cheerfully again, not sensing the tense situation. So little was enough for everything to go down in ruins. At this rate, over the next few years their relationship would not develop at all, and would stay in place, if not become worse.
Entering the house, she turned on the light. Outside, the sun was slowly hiding behind the horizon, informing Sakura of another day where she played the role of wife and did not step out of the crowd.
"For you."
She looked over her shoulder spotting two letters. Taking them from Sasuke she went to the dining room, settling into a chair. She almost started reading them, but then Sasuke appeared beside her, pulling out a photo of some sort.
The picture showed his mother and father.
"I would like you to draw this type of portrait for next week. We're invited to my parents' wedding anniversary." He tapped his fingers against his thigh "If you can."
She could only dream of the word 'please'. Still, she got more than she had before.
"No problem."
She sighed, looking at Sasuke's trembling lips. He struggled, unable to get a sentence out. Sakura already thought he would just walk away immediately, but he said:
"Thank you."
Five pencils of varying softness lay on the table, waiting their turn. Sakura thoughtfully moved the graphite across the soft, half-yellowed paper. Mikoto and Fugaku's faces were taking shape and becoming more and more realistic. Of course, she did not redraw the photograph one-to-one, but she also added something of herself. She breathed more life into the portrait.
Noon came, announcing that she should get on with preparing dinner soon. Sasuke liked to eat earlier than usual on his days off, so Sakura was supposed to rise from the carpet, but she was so engrossed in drawing that she allowed herself another five minutes. But after a while, Sasuke appeared.
Her hand dangled in the air as she looked at the man. She already thought he was going to ask her what about the food, but he sat down on the other side of the table, unfolding some sheets of paper - documents he was working on. He did not speak to her, going on with his business.
Not knowing why, Sakura felt like an intruder, even though she was, after all, in her own home. Perhaps it was due to the fact that they had never normally spent time together? That was why Sasuke's behavior made her uneasy.
"Am I interrupting?" she asked, unsure whether it was better to stay or go.
Dark eyes peeked out from under a lock of hair.
"No. Why would you?" she sensed a rhetorical question. Sasuke hid his face behind his black locks again, then suddenly pointed a finger at the large windows behind her, "Better light."
He was explaining himself, and he didn't need to at all. Also, his behavior was strange. Something had either happened or he wanted something from her, Sakura concluded. However, she decided not to ask and give him time; maybe he needed it.
The portrait began to become clearer again. The two were behaving normally, as if this was not at all the first time they had sat in silence in each other's company, without any unnecessary arguments. Sakura, however, knew that nothing lasts forever. She sincerely feared that something would disturb the peace again, and it would most likely be Sasuke's character. However, she didn't want to be too quick to judge him about anything.
Her husband watched - probably thinking he was unnoticeable - as she drew lines. He broke away from checking the papers to admire her work. Sakura gave him a quick glance, with which, surprisingly, she flushed him. She smiled to herself.
At Mikoto's forehead, she added shadow and fixed her lips a little when the small box rested in front of her. The black color looked nice and classic. Sakura didn't quite know what she should do with it, but the look on Sasuke's face said one thing - it was for her. And she even had her suspicions as to why.
Sakura picked it up, turning it in her hand. It weighed a tiny amount. Opening the lid, she noticed a gold bracelet, with small crystals. It must have cost a fortune. She set it down, sliding it towards Sasuke.
"I don't want gifts." she said firmly, taking no objection.
Sasuke's eyebrows arched, his lips tightened into a narrow line, and fingers tapped nervously on the table. Clearly he didn't like this; he had a different vision of the course of events.
"Then how am I supposed to apologize to you, hm?" he asked, a little irritated.
"With words." She replied, remaining calm "Words are enough, Sasuke."
She wasn't looking forward to it now. Not wanting to disrupt the aura they had created, Sakura went back to drawing. She expected the same from Sasuke, but he stood up taking his things. If he needed a moment to himself, she wasn't going to make a problem for him; in fact, she was surprised he had taken any initiative at all. But also, sitting with Sasuke in comfortable silence was... pleasant.
I split this chapter into two parts because it would have been a bit long ;p second part later this week!
