Description
Tao Wen transmigrated and discovered that he had become the brutal scum lover in a tragic novel that he had just read.
That scum character was a prince who, instead of living a luxurious life in peace, always made trouble for his brother, the emperor. His reckless behavior made him fall out with his secret guard who died trying to protect him. In the end, he regretted causing the death of his lover but it was too late. He was killed by the emperor.
Tao Wen thought that if he was that prince, he would never treat his lover like that…
Chapter One – The Prince's Loyal Lover
Translator's Introduction: Because of the strict censorship laws in China, this type of fiction uses a lot of euphemisms/coded words.
Chrysanthemum – the lower orifice, "backdoor"
Cucumber, little brother, etc. – d*ck
Shou (uke) – the "bottom" in the relationship, also called 0
Gong (seme) – the "top" in the relationship
Loyal dog shou – this is a type of character in BL fiction. A 100% loyal, honest, and devoted shou, he will endure anything and everything for his loved one. Sometimes, it borders on being masochistic
Scum gong – one of the most popular types of gong characters. Basically, the "bad boy" type, their actions often border on the abusive.
Eat tofu – to take advantage of another person
Table of Contents Next Chapter
Chapter One: That loyal dog shou
Reality is very cruel. Tao Wen, who had gloriously ascended to the rank of magician, finally found a person who was like him. He had set the stage for their earth-shaking love affair, planning to lose his virginity. After shyly asking the other person to take off his clothes and roll in the sheets with him, he suddenly realized that … they were both 0.
D***n! If he had known, he wouldn't have cheerfully paid for the room himself!
How come in novels, there were always more cucumbers than chrysanthemums? Many people were always scrambling to be the gong.
But in reality, chrysanthemums are more numerous than cucumbers. Finding a good gong wasn't easy.
Tao Wen sadly said goodbye to the person he had planned to roll in the sheets with who likewise looked very sad, too. They agreed that in the future they would become best buds. Then Tao Wen dejectedly went online and started looking for novels.
The world of novels was always wonderful. After Tao Wen's shou setback in the real world, he liked to find a warm, fluffy novel with no tragedy tag to comfort and soothe his wounded soul. His favorite type of character was definitely the loyal dog shou.
Browsing novels, Tao Wen found a novel with the "loyal dog shou" tag. In the absence of a gong, he can make do with a shou. Tao Wen started reading it enthusiastically.
The author's writing was very good but she was definitely the type who likes to make readers cry.1 Tao Wen read it sorrowfully. If it weren't for the loyal dog shou, who he liked very much, he wouldn't have been able to stand it. But since he loved the loyal dog shou character so much, he persevered. From the perspective of an omniscient reader, he felt that the scum gong was really too bad. He desperately wanted to soothe his heart but now he felt like it was going to be broken.
However, even if there were some misunderstandings and drama in the middle of the novel, as long as the outcome was a happy ending, Tao Wen will be satisfied. However, Tao Wen didn't expect that just when the scum gong finally realized that he loved the shou, his favorite loyal dog shou died! He really died!
It was a bad ending! His beloved loyal dog shou was abused by the scum gong. After he died, the scum gong repented but was killed by his older brother, the emperor.
This ****ing ending! Tao Wen looked at the computer screen and wanted to become a ghost to haunt the author! Is there anything more frustrating than this? In order to save that scum gong, the shou was injured but remained loyal. Just because of a few words spoken by other people the scum gong misunderstood and felt betrayed. It's too much!
Of course, in the end, the scum gong found out the truth. Tao Wen thought that things wouldn't be so difficult but the shou died… The author clearly wrote this to get revenge on society!
Well, if he had a secret guard who was so loyal and devoted to him, he certainly wouldn't be like the prince in the novel! Nor would he be so brainless as to offend his immediate superior and thus make the emperor look at him with displeasure in his eyes, resulting in harm to his secret guard and himself.
He… would surely get naked and seduce his secret guard! Ah no, if the guard was seduced, then instead of being stabbed, Tao Wen would have to do the stabbing …
When he thought of this scenario, Tao Wen was extremely depressed again because he is a shou. He was very happy when he finally found someone to take his virginity, only to find out that the other person was also a shou. What a tragedy!
With a heavy heart, Tao Wen lay down on his bed. Since it was cold, he plugged in the electric blanket…
In the end, Tao Wen had no desire to find out if he was electrocuted or burned. All he knew was that he died in the only thing his parents had left for him, in the small 50-square-foot house.
后妈 – literally "stepmother" but it's a slang for writers who like to write very tragic stories that make readers cry
Chapter Two: The shou becomes a scum gong
When Tao Wen woke up again, he was lying on a big, magnificent bed.
This wasn't his bedroom. No one would spend this much money to play a joke on him so Tao Wen was stunned. When he sat up and saw the large screen full of erotic paintings, he thought that he had probably transmigrated.
The description of the prince's room in the novel of the prince and the secret guard that he had just read was exactly the same as this room. Based on the novel's contents, right now the secret guard should be in the roof beam of his bedroom, ready and willing to give everything for his prince.
Tao Wen suddenly felt a pain in his head as he received the prince's memories.
After sorting out his memories, Tao Wen looked up but saw nothing.
However, all this seemed too real, so his memory should be correct. Though he didn't really want to, he still shouted: "Xiao Er!"1 Yes, the secret guard had a codename – Xiao Er.
Maybe it's because of the author's awful naming sense but even with such an unpleasant name it was impossible to diminish Tao Wen's love for the loyal dog shou – someone who would lay down his life to save his lover, such a person is really too rare!
As soon as he finished speaking, a man appeared in front of Tao Wen. He was tall and very masculine. He was exactly Tao Wen's type and as soon as he appeared, Tao Wen fell down on his knees.
Did he really transmigrate?
Recently he was troubled because his prospective boyfriend turned out to be a shou like him so they could only become friends. Now his only thought was that: The man in front of me should obviously be a gong, how could he become the shou? Perhaps the loyal dog was originally a gong but later turned into a shou. Or maybe, despite his masculine appearance, his heart is actually that of a shou?
All of this isn't something he can put to the test. Tao Wen knows that the person in front of him was a secret guard who was trained especially for him. He was the leader the secret guards who have protected the royal family for many generations. As to why this secret guard was given to the prince by the former emperor instead of to the current emperor, that was in order to preserve the prince's life.
It's a pity that this prince was too hard-headed and often tested the limits of the emperor's patience until he finally caused a calamity to fall on his head.
The disaster took place. There was a secret guard who had pledged his life to protect him but he accidentally used an aphrodisiac in front of that person. They fell in love with each other but the emperor incited disharmony between the two. The prince tossed away the secret guard who later died. He regretted it. Left vulnerable and unprotected, he died…
Speaking of which, the novel was very well written , otherwise Tao Wen wouldn't have read it to the end. The scum going became scum because after the aphrodisiac he found that he was in love with the secret guard who had been protecting him since childhood, a man willing to risk life and limb for him. He was unable to accept this fact. Furthermore, he mistakenly thought that this patient and obedient secret guard was loyal to his father, the emperor. The emperor's bed mate had been dead for many years so, as a result, there were a lot of misunderstands. He listened to other people's words and thought that the secret guard was his brother, the emperor's servant. He also had an affair, becoming a scum gong.
The prince was a scum character to the end, until the loyal dog shou used his seriously injured body to save him once again and died. He regretted this a lot.
Then the emperor appeared and he realized that those who had made him believe that his loyal dog shou was the emperor's servant were all the emperor's minions. In fact, the loyal dog shou loved and was faithful only to him. Of course, by the time he discovered this it was too late. It didn't take long before the prince died, too.
This was really a tragedy. Now that he transmigrated, he needed to know at what point in the story he had transmigrated.
The memories in his mind were all jumbled together in a mess. Tao Wen turned his head and looked at the kneeling secret guard.
The handsome man's eyes were bloodshot and he couldn't conceal his exhaustion. Then Tao Wen caught the smell of blood from the other person.
Could it be that he had already started abusing this person? Otherwise, how could this secret guard, who was the foremost martial artist in the world, be injured? Of course, the most important thing now is to get the other person to stand up— in his whole life, Tao Wen hasn't had anyone kneel to him!
"Get up!" When Tao Wen spoke he found that his voice was very hoarse and that it hurt to talk.
As a pampered prince, it was not easy for others to hurt him. Even when he was in big trouble, there wouldn't be so much as a scratch on the prince who was protected by this person. Throughout the entire novel, the only time the scum gong hurt his throat was when he and the loyal dog shou did it for the first time.
Tao Wen carefully went over it in his mind. Just half a month ago, "he" went out to make trouble but he clashed with a person from the Jianghu whom he shouldn't have provoked. Then he was dosed with an aphrodisiac … since there was no one else around, he did it with his secret guard.
After the other person helped him get rid of the aphrodisiac and brought "him" back to the palace, "he" grabbed a whip and beat the secret guard. His throat hurt because he caught a cold due to the cold weather…
Tao Wen knew that at this time, the prince was suspicious and thought that his secret guard had ulterior motives to climb into his bed. And he … he just wanted to burst into tears. The person in front of him was shou?
The secret guard Xiao Er had stood up but his head was still lowered. Even then, Tao Wen discovered that the opponent was a lot taller than him.
Erm, is he still hoping to train the loyal dog shou into a loyal dog gong? My dear, a shou can't become a gong!
"Little Two." Also means "waiter" which is why Tao Wen didn't want to call that nickname.
Chapter Three: Let's go to bed
It wasn't unreasonable for Tao Wen to quickly pick up on the fact that he transmigrated. For someone like him who is an orphan and has an introverted personality, it's better to transmigrate than to die.
Even if there was an emperor who wants to put his current body to death, he has this loyal servant. So long as he doesn't disturb the status quo, he shouldn't be in danger… but this gong/shou problem was a bit difficult.
"How is your body?" Tao Wen asked gently.
Before they "did it," the relationship between the prince and the secret guard was pretty good. The prince was also good to the former emperor. If he hadn't been, then the secret guard wouldn't have admired the prince. The whipping was the first time the prince hit the secret guard. However, just because the secret guard's injuries healed very fast, the prince got into the habit of beating his secret guard, eventually going down the path of a scum gong.
"Master, your servant is alright," Xiao Er said with a solemn expression on his face.
Looking at the secret guard whose body emitted a faint bloody and medicinal smell, Tao Wen thought that the other person's words weren't credible. He clearly remembered that the prince, after coming to his senses and discovering that he had done it with a man, had lashed this person 100 times with his whip.
"Go to bed and rest."
Xiao Er immediately knelt: "Your servant doesn't dare!"
"Get up!"
Tao Wen sat up.
"Master, lie down, you have a cold…" Xiao Er said quickly but then he seemed to feel that he was overstepping his position. He closed his mouth and quietly lowered his head.
"Then why don't we go to bed together and lie down?" Tao Wen was very happy to hear the other party's concern.
He wasn't going to trouble himself with a boring question such as whether the other person liked the old prince, not him. Now that he has transmigrated, he is now the prince who has nothing to do but stir up trouble. He's going to try to play this role! As for the person who is always watching the prince and might suspect that something might have changed … His body is that of the prince. He also has the prince's memories. Will the other person still dare to kill the prince?
He has a plan. A dead prince and a dead loyal dog — this was probably the scene that the prince's older brother wanted to see.
As for the love of the faithful dog, as long as the other person doesn't leave himself, it's all right. He really doesn't care much about it.
"Your servant doesn't dare!" Xiao Er was still kneeling on the floor.
Some people will eat soft food, but refuse to eat hard food:1 "I order you to go to bed and lie down!" Tao Wen was utterly ruthless.
Xiao Er lay down on the bed.
Tao Wen examined his own body and found that it seemed to have no serious problems. He started studying the secret guard who was lying on the bed.
Xiao Er's sleeping posture was very stiff and proper, which made Tao Wen feel uncomfortable: "Xiao Er, I will treat you well in the future."
"Your servant doesn't dare!" Xiao Er said. His eyes were very black.
Tao Wen felt happy.
The memories in his mind were still unstable, making him feel dizzy so he simply lay down beside Xiao Er.
The bed was large, therefore even though Tao Wen had never been in bed with other people, he wasn't vigilant so he didn't think there was anything wrong. He just closed his eyes and began to sort the memories.
As for the secret guard who was bitterly lying beside him in the bed, Xiao Er didn't move but he was alert and suspicious about his master's behavior. His family's prince wasn't a bad person but neither was he a good person. The prince's reaction before showed that he hated him. He even made up his mind to not appear in front of him unless it was necessary. However, what happened now? Asking him to lie on the bed with him?
That day when the prince woke up, Xiao Er saw scorn and disgust in his bloodshot eyes, but now … no, he is thinking too much. He is the prince's secret guard. Everything he does is for the prince. It's enough to remember that.
After mentally digesting all of the prince's memories, Tao Wen wanted to yell "scum!"
He accidentally took an aphrodisiac and forcefully climbed on top of the other person. Then when he woke up, he turned against the other person and became hostile right away. The injured loyal dog shou, because of the poison and his injury, brought him back to the palace. The first thing the prince did was to whip him! And he even had murder on his mind!
The more Tao Wen thought about it, the more he didn't like it. Suddenly, he realized that Xiao Er must have been gravely injured. Did he take any medicine?
With this in mind, Tao Wen immediately sat up and went to pull open the other person's clothes to check his injuries but when he looked, the other person's eyes were quite fierce. However, when the other person saw him, his eyes suddenly softened.
Tao Wen's heartbeat suddenly sped up… he must cure this person's wounds immediately so that he can lose his virginity!
吃软不吃硬 – "eat soft food, but refuse hard food" meaning a person is amenable to coaxing but not coercion. However, in this case only coercion works.
Chapter Four: It worked
Tao Wen gave Xiao Er a bunch of medicine and ordered him to stay in his room, and he himself, of course, was in the room to recuperate.
Tao Wen had always felt that his own moral integrity had long since died. There should be some type of emotion like shyness but when he tried to do what he wanted with Xiao Er, he had no shyness at all. In fact, several times he even wanted to throw the other person down and have his way with him.
"Come on, Xiao Er, I'll give you medicine." Holding the best medicine in the palace, Tao Wen spoke to the tall Xiao Er before him.
"Master, my injury is already well healed. No need to waste medicine." Xiao Er immediately knelt.
"How is it wasted for you to take this medicine? I ordered you to go to the bed and lie down!" Tao Wen immediately said.
Xiao Er's injury was indeed half-healed. However, for Tao Wen who has never been satisfied, eating tofu is always good, even if it's done through the medium of applying medicine. So he uncovered Xiao Er's body and not only did he smear the medicine, he also massaged him… "Xiao Er, this medicine is very good for wounds and can even whiten scars."
"Master! This is the medicine that was given to the Master by His Majesty. Your servant is afraid to use it!" Xiao Er rolled over and got off the bed to kneel on the ground: "Your servant, your servant has no need to reduce scarring …" How can this soft voice sound so appalled!
"I order you! Go to bed and lie down!" The scheming Tao Wen pounced on him.
Of course, in addition to applying medicine, there were many other such actions, such when he ate.
"Come on, Xiao Er, we can have dinner together." Tao Wen said with a smile.
"Master, your servant can eat a steamed bun." Xiao Er's face was expressionless.
"What? Glutinous rice doesn't have enough nutrients. Sit down here and we can eat together."
"Master, a servant cannot sit with his master."
"I command you! Sit down and eat with me!"
Of course, the evilest time was his bathing time.
"Xiao Er, rub my back!"
"Xiao Er, that's too much force, gentler."
"Xiao Er, your skills are good. You can also clean up the front."
…
"Xiao Er, why are you so quiet? You have a nosebleed!"
In fact, Tao Wen was very satisfied with all this.
The only thing he felt was lacking was that he had worked very hard these past few days but no matter how thirsty he felt, he decided to develop their feeling before going to bed. Now it should be about time to make his move?
At least, when Xiao Er looked at him, his eyes were more and more enthusiastic. Tao Wen had made several "sneak attacks" and found out that the other person was hard.
It's time to start eating!
On a moonless night when the winds were high, Tao Wen called Xiao Er down from the roofbeams and told him to sleep. Then in the middle of the night, he sneakily climbed onto the other person's body.
"Xiao Er, you follow me every day, right?"
"Yes."
"You know all my things, do you not?'
"… Yes."
"You peek at me all day long and you like me, don't you?"
"Your servant knows his crime!"
"You don't know your crime! D*** it, do you know why I whipped you after that first time?"
"Your servant doesn't know."
"This master wanted you to top me but instead you gave me your virginity! You think I'm not angry?!" Tao Wen daringly took out a lubricant oil that he had already prepared beforehand and said: "Don't you think you should compensate me?"
Xiao Er was puzzled. It was the prince who took the initiative to overwhelm him that night. But now, how did the events of that day change in the prince's mouth? So many things have changed…
He prefers it this way. He prefers the current prince, although he doesn't know why the prince he had been staring at suddenly changed.
Chapter 5: One more time
If you woke up after having sex with the person you liked, how would you feel if you found that the other person wasn't holding you but was kneeling at your bedside?
Tao Wen's chest felt tight as though he couldn't breathe.
But after a moment, he quickly got over the fact that Xiao Wen was on his knees again. After all, last night that guy had also been on his knees all night. As for now…
"Xiao Er, I'm cold. You don't even know how to warm my bed?"
"Xiao Er, why are you resting above me? My body aches badly but you don't even know how to help me rub it?"
"Xiao Er, I'm hungry. Go and get something for me to eat. Get more food! My appetite is better when you eat with me."
Tao Wen believed that it was absolutely impossible to find such a good gong in modern times. This meant that his days here were not as bad as he had imagined.
After waiting a few days and feeling that there were no serious problems to deal with, Tao Wen smiled wickedly and once again put his hands in his secret guard's pants …
The secret guard didn't move – no, there was still a place that moved. A certain place was "standing at attention."
Tao Wen blushed. He said quickly: "I… I command you to take care of your 'little brother' and me!"
The secret guard couldn't wait to kneel down to serve his master.
The bed shook. The secret guard was incredibly energetic and it was awesome. There was a significant improvement compared to the last time but there was one place that wasn't good …
"Ahhhh, it's too deep, I don't want to…" Tao Wen was losing his mind
The secret guard stopped.
Is this what it means to force people to lose their moral integrity?
Tao Wen was caught up in the moment. Seeing the secret guard's cool manner, Tao Wen bit him on the shoulder and said: "Ahhhh, give it to me good!"
The secret guard has always listened to his master's orders.
Tao Wen's teeth hurt – ****! Bite play is not suitable for this secret guard. Is he wearing an iron shirt?
When it was over the secret guard conscientiously helped clean up. Even though he was hard, he did not dare to do anything. Tao Wen was very satisfied and reached out to stroke and play with him again and again … The expression on that man's face as he tried hard to hold back was extremely good, but it was a pity that Tao Wens' heart was too soft. He looked at the secret guard's pitiful look and couldn't help but kneel down again.
"No, no…"
The secret guard stopped again.
"Xiao Er, let me do what I want. Finishing up is good! If a man wants to do it but is forced to stop halfway, that's not good. I'm telling you, if you always endure it and never finish, you'll lose it!"
It turns out that even if the secret guard doesn't take a break, he can do it for a long time …
A storm, a shower of rain, a perilous situation… after it was finished Tao Wen didn't have time to think about anything else. He felt as though he had suffered such a heavy injury this time that he estimated that he would have to stay in bed for a few days…
The secret guard saw the master fall asleep and secretly caressed and kissed him on the mouth. He lay down motionless beside his master, waiting for his master to embrace his body. Though it will be difficult for him to get up in the morning without leaving a trace of what he had done, he wouldn't let such a small matter defeat him.
The next day, Tao Wen saw that the man kneeling on the side of his bed was calm. In the afternoon, he saw that there was a thick woolen blanket lying in front of the bed. Hmm, maybe they could roll around in the sheets on the floor…
The original prince liked to mess around but Tao Wen was not going to do that. Until the emperor stopped being suspicious of him, he would become a complete shut-in and only do three things a day – eat, sleep, and tease his secret guard.
Teasing always resulted in an "injury" but he would have to get used to it.
Chapter 6: Extra: Emperor
The emperor has always felt dissatisfied. Obviously, he was wise, strong, handsome, confident, elegant, talented, and skilled in military strategies. His temperament was like that of a superhuman prodigy. He couldn't understand why his father always favored his younger brother. That person only knew how to make trouble and didn't have even the tiniest smidgen of manliness!
You are so powerful. Your brother has nothing. You should leave your brother alone … haha.
If his brother had been mercilessly beaten like he was when he was naughty, he didn't believe that his brother would have become such a useless, good-for-nothing person!
Although he wasn't satisfied, it was okay to support such a worthless person. However, his younger brother was still very restless!
Destroying his plan to control the martial arts community, making it difficult to get rid of corrupt bureaucrats, helping his chosen concubine flee… it would be hard to convince him that his brother wasn't thinking of usurping the throne.
Of course, the most crucial point was that before his death, his father, the former emperor, gave that secret guard to his younger brother! That secret guard who controlled the martial arts community!1 That secret guard who had the ability to monitor everything in the imperial court! That invincible secret guard!
It was said that secret guard could secretly enter the palace at night since he had served the former emperor. Therefore, even before he, the current emperor, had ascended the throne, that secret guard had long been familiar with the palace's ins and outs… There was just no sense of security!
He had been trying to buy the loyalty of all of the secret guards, but he couldn't because that secret guard was their leader and was loyal to his brother. Thus, that secret guard's subordinates were loyal to his younger brother, too!
Doesn't the secret guard know that his younger brother isn't smart? Doesn't he realize that his younger brother is a brute? How can he be loyal to such a person? Is the secret guard blind?
In fact, because of his loyalty, he felt that this secret guard was even more outstanding. Towards his brother, that scum, the secret guard faithfully pledged his life to protect him. Not to mention, his skills are excellent. This secret guard is really likable!
The emperor had been working to damage the relationship between his younger brother and his secret guard. He thought that he was going to be successful, but his younger brother unexpectedly changed and acted as though he was content with his lot in life.
His brother being content… there's something fishy going on here. His brother couldn't possibly be secretly conspiring against him, right?
The emperor decided to check for himself.
The emperor brought a lot of people with him and even put the army on alert before he finally dared to enter his brother's palace.
Given that he was the emperor, and given that he and his younger brother had not yet shed all pretense of cordiality, the emperor had made many preparations for whatever might happen. However, when he entered he ordered his men not to announce him. He quietly entered the house…
"Xiao Er! If I, your father,2 don't torment you until you die today, then I'm not your master!"
"Xiao Er, how is it? I'll wring you dry until there's nothing left! I'll squeeze you until you die!"
"Xiao Er, you can scream until your voice is gone but no one will come, no one will save you!"
…
The emperor's eyes began to shine brightly.
He knew that his younger brother was very dissatisfied with his servant so this was very bad for Xiao Er. He had planned to destroy the relationship between the two of them because of this but now it seemed … the relationship between his younger brother and his secret guard seems to have been broken even him without trying to interfere.
Hahahahahaha! The emperor laughed silently. He decided to break into the room to rescue the secret guard. He opened the door with his hand…
The emperor felt that he was blinded!
That little tyrant, his younger brother, was unexpectedly covered with red hickeys and was actually sitting on the secret guard who was in a lotus position. That's wasn't all. He wasn't speaking in the arrogant tone he had used before. Instead, he was moaning: "Xiao Er, gently. I'm dying… my legs are soft…"
The emperor suddenly found out that there was one thing that his younger brother was better at than him. His younger brother was more beautiful and alluring than him.
So is the secret guard loyal because he has eaten his master? If that's the case, then he would rather not get this secret guard's loyalty!
The emperor silently left and felt stupid.
He was really silly.
He brought so many people with him and even mobilized his troops just to meet with his brother here. He even imagined that his younger brother might try to capture the emperor or something like that. In the end, all that happened was that he saw an erotic show…
The emperor's mood was very bad for a time then he cheered up.
No wonder his younger brother doesn't want to marry a princess. He was being ****ed by the secret guard!
No wonder his younger brother liked to make trouble every day. He was being ****ed by the secret guard!
No wonder his younger brother hated the secret guard. He was being ****ed by the secret guard!
His younger brother was with his secret guard. He would absolutely have no chance to be with a woman again. There would be no children. It seemed that the secret guard was keeping him captive inside his palace. What was there for him to be afraid of?
The emperor happily returned to his palace and gifted his brother with medicine for wounds and kidney medicine to increase his stamina. Of course, he hoped that the kidney medicine would be eaten by the secret guard.
Hahahahaha!
武林 – translators often like to use the "Wulin" but this isn't about martial arts so I just translated it as "martial arts community."
In this context, just think of it as a way of saying "I'm your daddy!" or "who's your daddy now!"
