Swordfish Frenzy


Happy Hotel lobby:

Charlie sits in her office and stares down at her desk as she thinks. She's suffering more guilt than ever before and doesn't know what to do about it. How could this all happen? After one of her own guests whom she invited here with open arms met her parents, they were found dead. But he didn't do it? She was under the belief all night that he did either way and couldn't find it in her heart to want to believe it. And now Vaggie is back?! She was sure she'd never see her lover again and yet, there she was before the holy pond! And everyone she knows she can trust between Vaggie herself to her own goat servants all say Douglas did this?! She wants off of this emotional rollercoaster. She feels mentally and emotionally scarred. All this began when her parents both perished, but now she'd put all the blame on who turned out to be an innocent boy. How can it be? How did it happen? How is she ever going to apologize to him or thank him for resurrecting her lover? She takes a moment to think before remembering something. Seviathan is at the palace and she can tell him everything.

Magne Palace:

Seviathan is getting prepared in his new throne room. Given Alastor had no plans of taking it, he decided it belonged to him. He straightens a couple of paintings and dusts off a picture of him and Charlie, the girl his parents promised him he would one day marry. He has a ring he's been saving and is certain next time he sees her, she'll say yes to his proposal. Just as he prepares to get some breakfast, the phone rings.

"Hello, this the von Eldritch Palace. Unfortunately, due to the recent erasing of the King and Queen, there will be no performances for a while." He instantly assumes.

"Seviathan, it's me," Charlie says, causing him to gasp.

"Oh?! I'm sorry sweetie!" He chuckles a couple of times. "Silly me." He then smirks and looks at his ring. "You know, I'm just waiting for you to come back so we can take the throne and rule Hell together." He states. Charlie smiles softly.

"Thank you Seviathan, but that won't be necessary. I have no interest in the throne right now, so you can have it." She tells him. Causing the fish boy to frown.

"But why not? Now that that wretched boy is in custody and you're alone, you have nobody if you stay at that boring hotel." He remarks. Charlie chuckles softly.

"Don't worry about me Seviathan, I'm not single anymore!" She says with excitement. Seviathan raises an eyebrow in confusion but she continues before he can ask why. "Turns out Douglas isn't the guy we took him for! He resurrected Vaggie this morning! She's back with us!" She says cheerfully.

"WHAT?!" Seviathan shouts in disbelief before shaking his head rapidly and using a false positive tone. "I mean, are you sure that wasn't some sort of good dream you had? It sounds a little too impossible to believe." He says masking some internal frustration.

"Nope! It actually happened! I saw her standing with the group of friends at this hotel as the sweet heroic gentleman walked into the sunlight!" She exclaims happily.

"Well, that's nice," Seviathan says with a frown but maintains a positive tone. "But did you honestly let him go?" He asks.

"I have no idea how he got out," Charlie says. "But I'm far more pleased with this result than what we could've had! Vaggie is alive, Douglas is free, my Happy Hotel can be happy again, and you're free to take the throne! Everybody wins!" Seviathan snarls at the excitement he hears on her end silently, before deciding to get more serious.

"Charlie, you know the throne is for both of us, right?" He asks. "Vaggie is nice and all, but you can't produce a prince or a princess with another woman. What about the future of this palace? What about our future in Hell?" He asks, trying hard to mask his annoyance. Charlie starts to notice and her smile fades.

"Well, Seviathan, as I told you before, I'm not really interested in ruling Hell. I hope you don't mind, but I didn't really like the idea of us getting together because it was expected of us." Seviathan raises an eyebrow.

"So what? You didn't enjoy the time we spent together in our younger years? We had something really special." He says.

"I did enjoy it Seviathan." She says, beginning to smile again. "But please note I still love you and will always think of you as a special friend. Besides, now that you're the one ruling Hell, you can choose a new girlfriend for yourself! I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love to have you!" Seviathan sighs deeply.

"Charlie… haven't you considered what will happen if Vaggie dies again?" He asks. Charlie giggles.

"Vaggie is the strongest woman I know and I can confidently say Douglas is the strongest man I know now. She's not going to die again for a very long time at a minimum. But don't feel bad Sevy, you really wouldn't want me anyway. You can do better than some lowlife who would rather run a hotel than a royal palace." Seviathan slams his fist on his table.

"Then what was the purpose of this call, to offer me a throne I'm already going to take anyway?" He asks. Charlie chuckles nervously.

"Actually, Douglas is on his way over to fight Alastor right now in the royal garden. I really don't want either of them to kill each other, so can you try to break up the fight?" She asks. Seviathan stares at his dark blade next to his bed with a hostile glare.

"Don't worry Charlie." He says while picking the blade up. "I'll make sure Alastor never even has to worry about Douglas." Before Charlie can say anything, the call is ended. Seviathan then presses a button on an announcement microphone that connects to the rest of the building. "Attention guards of Magne Palace! The same traitorous boy that murdered the king and queen has come back for more! But there are far too many of you for him to beat. Every guard please exit the palace and patrol the outside. We cannot allow him to enter this establishment under any circumstance, and if you see him, kill him!"

With that command, the doors open, and a few dozen elite guards rush out of the palace. Seviathan growls under his breath at the way things are going, as he'd love to kill Douglas personally after Charlie broke up with him for good. He picks up the dark blade and looks around the room at a full collection of blades he's left on the walls, just preparing to soak in blood for the first time after all these years.


Pentagram City Interior

Douglas walks through the city feeling a little uncertain. He doesn't remember the exact route to the Magne Palace, as he was teleported by Alastor last time. It was also dark outside when he was coming back last time, which only made it difficult to retrace his footsteps coming home. He goes by the 666 News Station, just picturing who might be in charge of it now. He proceeds to pass Valentino's presumably empty porn studio and notices a couple of people are taking down some posters that contained various porn stars, including Velvet and Angel Dust. After a couple more blocks, he stops upon seeing a lot of men in the distance.

"Whoa!" He gasps and hides behind the corner of a building. There had to be close to fifty guards with dark sinister weapons just outside of the front door, and he knows there must be more of them at different angles of the building. He only uses one eye to peer behind the building, as the thought of one of them recognizing him alone could set them all off. He looks into the nearby castle courtyard, noticing Alastor is nowhere to be found. This is all a massive inconvenience given Alastor is the only person left he must destroy before his mission is over. But he's not getting any closer to finishing his mission standing outside like this. He looks up and notices some stained-glass windows between the brick structure of the building. This causes a little lightbulb to flash inside his head.

"Hey! Isn't that him?" One of the guards calls out, pointing in Douglas's direction. Douglas swiftly hides behind the building and spawns a pumpkin.

"I think it is!" Another guard shouts. Five of them rush out towards where Douglas is hiding. The young warrior shoves the pumpkin out and it rolls across the street and into a back alley. This causes the guards to get a bit distracted. Two of them branch off and follow the pumpkin. The other three continue going for Douglas. "I gotcha!" That same guard shouts, quickly causing Douglas to teleport to the alley he hid the pumpkin in.

"Hey! There he is!" One of the guards on this side exclaims.

"Let's get him!" The other commands. Douglas smirks evilly and casts a holy light pulse in front of them both. "Huh?" Both men stop before the light explodes in their faces. "AH! My eyes!"

"I can't see!" Both guys suddenly bump into each other and fall over, allowing Douglas to rush out, exposing himself in front of all the guards.

"Hey! There he is!" Another guard shouts, causing every guard in front of the palace to look his direction.

"Stop trying to resist!" One of the trio behind him calls.

"Yeah, you're outnumbered and surrounded!" Another says.

"There's no use trying to escape!" The last one adds on.

"Oh, is there?" Douglas asks, teleporting closer to the top of the palace.

"What?!"

"Where did he go?!" All the guards look around for a moment.

"I'm up here you idiots!" He calls out, loudly gathering attention from different sides of the building. Several guards growl and aim weapons at him, but before they can fire, the holy soldier summons another light pulse. "God is answering our calls!" He says victoriously, shutting his eyes and casting the light ball into the stained-glass windows. A very bright ultraviolet beam bursts from the glass and painfully strikes the eyes of every single one of the guards who kept their eyes on him. Every person looking goes blind.

"AH!" A lot of them shout at once.

"Can't see! Can't see!" One guy panics as he bumps into another guard. The panic continues to emit as everyone rushes around in different directions. More and more falling to the ground by the second as they keep colliding with each other.

"Hosanna in the highest, bitches." Douglas says as he leaps off the building, teleports, and lands in front of the completely exposed door.


Douglas enters the palace, closes the door behind him, and then spawns a bunch of pumpkins to barricade the doors from the inside. This process takes a few minutes, as he needs to set up a couple of stacks of pumpkins that the others won't be able to push aside. A lot of those guards looked pretty strong, but thankfully none of them are nearly as muscular as he is. After about six minutes, there are a little over one hundred and fifty pumpkins across the bottom level in front of the doors.

"Okay, that should do it. Now I just need to get to Alastor before that blindness wears off." He says.

"Hey, douchebag! Up here!" Seviathan calls out from the upper floor. Douglas frowns once he sees him. "How the hell did you get past all the guards?" He asks.

"It wasn't very hard. I used light powers to blind them all. What are you going to do about it?" He asks. Seviathan takes out his black blade and jumps down the flights of stairs. Douglas quickly gasps and dodges to the side to avoid the blade.

"Nice dodge," Seviathan says after landing. "You're so lucky you've made it this far without a real challenge." He states. The young warrior frowns.

"What do you mean? You honestly think you're stronger than not only me but everyone I've killed so far?" He asks. Seviathan rolls his eyes.

"Of course not. Even I'm not stupid enough to say I'm stronger than the king or queen. But I know for a fact you only killed them because they held back." He states. Douglas glares at Seviathan lightly.

"What if I told you I didn't kill them?" He asks. Seviathan picks up his blade and holds it out.

"Bullshit you little fuckwad! I know you killed them both!" He exclaims. Douglas holds his hands out softly.

"Honestly, it wasn't me. Yes, I beat them both in battle, but it was my intention to spare them." He states.

"Oh really, prey tell. Who actually killed them? People thought I did until the autopsy revealed a holy weapon." He retorts. Douglas sighs softly.

"It was my summoner, Judge Tytus from Heaven." He says. Seviathan raises an eyebrow softly.

"Tytus?" He asks. Douglas nods. "Lucifer said that man was a pussy. He apparently had problems with gay people and put them in Hell after they died." Douglas makes a fist after hearing that.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I will be calling for him to be disbarred when I get to Heaven." The holy soldier promises.

"Great. Let me help you get there." Seviathan says with an evil grin.

"Whoa!" Douglas quickly teleports behind the fish duke as he swings the sword at him. "Dude, stop! I don't want to fight!" He exclaims. Seviathan snarls and turns around.

"What do you mean? You're willing to fight everyone else in Hell except me?" He asks.

"I've killed more people than I've needed to and I'm done now!" Douglas asserts. "Besides, don't you trust me on the Tytus thing?" He asks. Seviathan rolls his eyes.

"Fuck that. Whether you go to Heaven willingly or die and go by force, you can still do something about him." He says.

"Okay! Well, I'm not here to kill you! I don't want to kill you! So please put down the sword and accept mercy so neither of us need to kill each other." He insists. He then shrieks a bit as Seviathan holds the sword close to his face with a hostile glare. "What are you doing?!"

"You took Charlie away from me!" Seviathan yells. "I had everything I wanted except for her, but I wanted her more than literally anything else I was offered! You took her from me!" He says, looking prepared to cry but maintaining his glare.

"Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid you're mistaken," Douglas says, stepping back a bit. "I'm not in a relationship with Charlie." He states.

"You brought back her girlfriend. Now we can't be together!" Seviathan whines. Douglas sighs and frowns a bit.

"Why are you so upset about it? Do you honestly mean to say you preferred Vaggie when she was dead?" The young warrior asks. The fish duke raises an eyebrow.

"I think you should already know the answer." He says, then he takes another slash at Douglas which is ducked under.

"Dude! Get over it, will you?!" Douglas asks, spawning a Seiken sword and holding it out in preparation for Seviathan's next swing. "You've had years to get over Charlie, why can't you just find someone else?!"

"Because I'm not the one who was supposed to take the throne! She was and I was the one Lucifer promised she'd share it with!" He exclaims angrily. Douglas frowns lightly.

"Well, aren't you happy? Without the other overlords, you can have the throne. I'm not prepared to take it from you. And I can promise you nobody from Heaven is going to leave such a nice place to take it either." Seviathan swings the sword, only for Douglas to block it.

"I was promised the throne and the girl! You've taken the latter from me!" He complains.

"JUST GET ANOTHER GIRLFRIEND!" Douglas yells loudly, clashing back and knocking Seviathan back a couple of steps. "Are we honestly doing this, Seviathan? I genuinely don't want to kill you." Douglas asserts. "Why can't we just call a truce? I'm only after Alastor now anyway." He asks.

"One of you was supposed to die," Seviathan says, throwing Douglas off.

"What do you mean?" He asks. The fish duke glares.

"If you died instead of Vaggie, Charlie would've dumped her for killing you. She would've never forgiven her no matter how much justification Vaggie would've had." He states. Douglas's eyes widen.

"You set Vaggie against me so one of us would die?" He asks. Seviathan nods.

"Yes! I did! And now you're both alive and I'm stuck single!" He takes a couple of swings left and right, Douglas tries to slash back, but he's getting closer calls than he's used to, as Seviathan's wrist is flicking much faster than anyone else he's faced so far, even Millie.

"For the last time, get over Charlie!" Douglas says, trying to hack back but taking a wound to the side. "OW!" He winces and steps back, swinging his Seiken out as Seviathan proceeds to strike uninterrupted.

"I can't do that! She means too much!" He shouts as Douglas is pinned to the wall. "En Passant!" The fish duke swings the sword for Douglas's head, the young warrior barely teleporting behind him before it hits. "Hold still!" Seviathan exclaims, turning around and resuming his sword frenzy, showing no signs of getting tired.

"Why do you care so much about marrying Charlie?" Douglas asks, genuinely wanting to know the reason before he kills Seviathan.

"Were you not listening?!" He exclaims. "Charlie is the love of my life!" He swings for Douglas's leg and stabs him in the thigh.

"OW!" Douglas screams as he steps back. Blood begins to leak from his wound as he steps back and keeps parrying the dark sword.

"She represents everything I don't have!" The fish duke continues. "She represents everything nobody else in Hell has!" He then hits Douglas's left shoulder.

"OW!" The holy soldier exclaims.

"Charlie is my Heaven, Douglas. She's the only person in this damn place that has any form of purity inside of her!" He swings the sword again at Douglas's hip.

"OW!" Douglas starts to lose his footing and falls onto his rear on the floor. He barely teleports across the room before Seviathan can decapitate him. His Seiken vanishes in the process, as he's losing the strength to continue keeping it formed.

"Will you stop moving?!" Seviathan exclaims in frustration, turning around. Douglas gives him a brave glare.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to know everything before you kill me." He says. Seviathan stops once he's in front of Douglas.

"Fine. Charlie means everything to me because growing up, she was the only person who stood by my side who wasn't family." Seviathan states. "Everyone else I grew up with picked on me until they learned I was close to Lucifer. All those people in school pretended to be my friends, but they were really only jealous of my connections. Hell, even Helsa was treated with more respect just because all the boys wanted in her pants! Do you know what that's like, Douglas?! To be an outcast?! To have nobody that wants anything to do with you except for one girl?! That was my Charlie and you took her away from me!" He holds the sword out and softly growls as he keeps it in front of the boy's chest.

"None of that should matter anymore," Douglas says.

"What?" Seviathan asks as his glare gets weaker. The young warrior stands up straight.

"You have everything else you could possibly want now. You have a rich mansion that everyone else in Hell can only dream of. Stolas's mansion looked nowhere near as good as this one. You have so many guards and servants that do everything you ask them to do. You are so safe, and so rich largely, so… can't you put your past behind you? The Armageddon is almost over, and you can live out the rest of your eternity with a different girl who will love you for who you are and not your belongings." He says. Seviathan sighs softly.

"You really think so?" He asks. "You think someone would actually like me for me?" He asks in disbelief. Douglas smiles softly.

"Honestly, yes. You're a lot more handsome than you give yourself credit for. Don't even get me started on your amazing dress code." He says. Seviathan grins and drops the blade.

"Wow, thanks, dude." He says, holding his arms out. "Say, how about a hug to end this battle instead of one of us dying?" Douglas chuckles.

"Sure. Bring it in pal." He says, stepping towards the fish duke who only slightly surpasses him in height. The two boys hug softly for a few seconds before a sharp pain enters Douglas's back. "OW!" He screams. Seviathan grins evilly and lets go of Douglas, showing him a hidden knife he kept underneath his sleeve.

"My next girlfriend will never be able to resist a guy who was able to kill the person who killed the king and queen. Thanks for the new achievement, fuckface." He says in a harsh tone. Douglas growls a bit as he lays on his stomach and bleeds from behind.

"How dare you?" He asks softly.

"Did you honestly think I was going to end this fight with mercy?" The fish duke asks, menacingly smirking.

"I was hopeful that there was a bit of Charlie's purity inside of you. But you just proved me wrong." The holy soldier says as tears leak from his eyes. "You really don't deserve her if all you're going to do is destroy purity." He states. Seviathan frowns softly and picks up his dark blade again.

"Can you not die a little faster? I get that you're tough but give up already." He says impatiently. Douglas rolls over and lays on his back to get a good view of the sword. He can only pray the tactic he used once with Sir Pentious can work again.

"Aim for the heart if you want an assured kill." He says weakly. Seviathan glares and shoves the blade into Douglas's chest, but only as he does, Douglas holds his hand up toward the sword, and a bright white flashes around it. Within a few moments, Douglas's wounds close and his pulse resumes its normal pace. Seviathan can only stare with wide eyes as he holds a bright white blade into Douglas's chest. Douglas had altered the darkness and made it into a holy blade instead of the initial sinister weapon it was.

"What the hell happened to my sword?!" Seviathan exclaims in frustration.

"It looks like it no longer can hurt people of Heaven. I've purified it." Douglas states. Seviathan rips the sword out with a glare, Douglas's wounds closing up as the sword exits his body.

"Fine, I'll use this one instead!" Seviathan exclaims as he grabs another dark sword from the wall. Before he can even swing it, Douglas converts it to another holy sword.

"Game over pal." The holy soldier says. Seviathan drops the sword on the floor in anger, but it starts to levitate again.

"What the hell are you-" Seviathan stops in mid-sentence as Douglas levitates back onto his feet. All the dark swords in the room start to alter their colors until they're all bright white holy blades. Douglas raises his arms and they all levitate off the walls and hover towards them.

"Hosanna in the highest." The young warrior says in a threatening tone. He then sends all the swords to hover around Seviathan, who can only stand there paralyzed in fear.

"Wait! Wait! WAIT- OW! OOWWWW!" Seviathan is impaled in several spots through the front, back, and sides of his body by several different light swords. The agony overtakes him as tears leak out of his eyes.

"I didn't want to do that. I hope you know that." Douglas says as he pulls all the swords out of Seviathan's flesh, leaving him to fall forward and bleed on the floor. Anger continues to consume him, but pain overpowers him.

"You bastard. You've done too much. You really need to die." Seviathan says weakly. Douglas kneels in front of him.

"I take no enjoyment in what I've done Seviathan. But you had no need to stab me. You had everything you wanted from birth and a position many will only ever dream of. Now the von Eldritch side of this palace will fade into the dustpan of Satanic history." Seviathan glares through his tears.

"You will die. I'm warning you..." He says, Douglas showing no signs of being threatened.

"Well, your warning is appreciated, but I'm not going down without a fight. Goodbye Seviathan."

Douglas stands up and walks away, leaving the suffering fish duke to cease breathing by the time he's out of the palace.


Author's note: And, there you are. After a year now, I've finally updated this story. Now that the actual show is coming to TV really soon, the best thing I can do is try to finish this fic first, as there are several continuity combustions the new canon has created such as Charlie's last name being Morningstar and Helluva's constant updates on Blitzo and Stolas. There are certainly things I would've changed if this story were started fresh, but hopefully, you've had an easy time sticking with it so far. Thank you all very much and I'm sorry it's been so long.

Deceased:

Seviathan von Eldritch.