*Zelina's POV*
It was a bit more difficult than Zelina had initially planned for them to figure out the best way to discreetly get to Varykino. Thankfully, Artoo could give them some directions for how to get there to make up for Zelina not being here in literal decades and someone else bringing them to Varykino last time she was here. Zelina was also able to pay to rent a water speeder for a few days to provide their transportation. Still, the harder part was the slight learning curve for Luke to figure out how to pilot a water vessel, and for both of them to figure out a more discreet and less out in the open and obvious path to follow to the lake retreat. It would be better if no one saw them making their way out to the retreat—and they would have to figure out a plan for how to hide the rented vehicle when the staff came by to clean.
But, initially, their biggest problem was only, in part, getting there.
As much as she would have liked for Luke to be the passenger in the water speeder so he could enjoy the water and the scenery, he did have that mechanic/pilot curiosity to see how it worked and figure it out, to drive a new kind of vehicle in a new environment. So, Zelina didn't argue when he took over, relaxing in the back with Artoo, who whistled directions to them from time to time for course corrections to make sure that they stayed on the right track. Neither of them were worried about crashing into anything between their senses in the Force and Artoo's directions, so they kept from casting any lights to further lessen their visibility to anyone who may be looking out over the lake in the darkness.
Once Zelina saw the silhouette of the familiar lake house, she was able to guide Luke carefully to the small channel created by the stone wall in the water and the stone docking area. They both lifted Artoo out of the speeder onto the smooth stone surface, made sure the speeder was tied up and wasn't going to float away in the night. Then, they made their way up the stone steps and to the veranda Anakin and Padmé had shared their first kiss. They came to a stop at the railing, looking over at the lake shrouded in night with glimmers of moonlight against its surface.
"Your parents and I stayed here for some time before the Clone Wars broke out. It was the first time Anakin and myself had seen Padmé since we were children and she had been the young Queen of Naboo. We were assigned to her as protection after some assassination attempts. It was some of our best memories, and most peaceful—especially after the war broke out. It's where Anakin and Padmé truly fell in love, and where they soon got married in secret," Zelina told Luke quietly as they leaned against the railing.
Luke hung on her every word, gaze intent and expression eager after he got over the initial surprise of what she was telling him. "They fell in love here?" Luke asked, looking back over the water, listening to the night bugs and birds, the sound of the waves lapping against the stone below, the serenity and the vibrancy of life…
"Well…yes and no. Your father was infatuated with her from the first time he met her, you remember that part of the story," Zelina remarked, continuing after Luke gave a nod of confirmation. "It was a little one sided back then, and stayed like that for some time. More like a boyhood crush on a beautiful girl a bit older than him. But when they met again, both adults and in close proximity for an extended period of time in such a beautiful place, Anakin excited to be around his crush after all this time, getting to know who they'd both become over the years…well, that's when the one sided boyhood crush turned into them falling in love. It was a bit rocky, again, I've told you the parts of the story for why it had to be secret, the back and forth on whether they should or shouldn't act on it…but they really fell for each other here, this is where it became mutual. And even though they confessed elsewhere, under entirely different circumstances, this is where they came back to get married shortly after the Clone Wars started. Right on this very veranda, actually," Zelina told him quietly.
Luke leaned back from the railing he was standing at, looking around them at the modest veranda, breathing in the rich scent of the many flowers, soaking in this unexpected connection to his parents, this time to both and not just his mother. Maybe if he spent some time here, did some meditation, really sank into the flow of the Force, he may be able to connect with the echoes left behind by his parents, especially with his blood relation to them. It was wishful thinking, but…it didn't hurt to try, to see what happened if he came out and meditated on this veranda while they were here.
Or attempted to meditate, anyway. As Zelina had noted during his training many times before, at present, it wasn't exactly his strong suit. She'd suggested he try something else, moving meditation instead, for example, but he continued to attempt the same kind of meditation that he'd seen Zelina enter from time to time, where she sank deep into the eddies of the Force and, once she'd gotten particularly good at it during her own lengthy training on Tatooine, even started progressing naturally into floating meditation. She couldn't do it all the time, it took some serious focus and quite some time falling into the eddies of the Force and losing herself so much in the flow that she could lose all sense of her present. But he had seen her do it enough times and saw how those sessions benefited her or the kind of wisdom they left her with, and was now determined to achieve that level of calm and tranquil, still meditation. Given where he currently was, however, it was going to take him quite a bit more practice to finally reach it someday.
Even though Luke was still soaking in the atmosphere, Zelina pushed away from the railing, gently resting her hand on his shoulder. "Come on—it's been a long and emotional day, and it's late. We should get some sleep. Varykino will still be here in the morning, and we have some time to see the important places and do the things we want to do while we're here. We can start in the morning, after we've both gotten some rest."
Luke's movement away from the railing and the beautiful night view of the lake was reluctant, but he complied to her request, following her into the beautiful earthen toned open air villa, gaze roaming across the high vaulted ceilings, the vine covered columns and the flower pots and beds overflowing with vibrant plant life, the rich colored curtains fluttering in the night breeze…
He was soaking in every detail, every second, even if Zelina had just told him they'd be here for a while.
It was practically muscle memory that guided her deeper into the villa and over to the same guest bedrooms that Zelina and Anakin had stayed in once upon a time, allowing Luke to take residence in what she remembered being Padmé's room while Zelina returned to the one she and Anakin had stayed in. Artoo was given free roam of the house to go wherever her pleased, and she could hear the beeps and whistles here and there as he roamed the halls to his little mechanical heart's content.
Luke, meanwhile, stuck his head out of the bedroom before they could both retire, getting Zelina's attention. "I thought you said we'd be sleeping on third rate cots and dirt floors from here on out, not fancier beds than I've ever seen in my life," Luke both teased and remarked with an undercurrent of awe. Zelina rolled her eyes.
"Consider it a brief taste of luxury before we start really roughing it. This isn't going to be an everyday thing, Luke, not by a long shot. This is just an important roots trip before we get thrown into the thick of things, you know that," she chastised him gently.
Luke mellowed out at the statement, eyes bright even in the dim light of the house that was still mostly dark as they were attempting not to turn on any lights in the night and alert anyone in the area that someone was here. "I know. And…thank you for this, Mother. I know…I know we didn't have to come here, and that there's still risks in doing so…but I'm grateful. It really does mean a lot to me."
Zelina gave Luke a soft, sad smile in the darkness where she lingered in the hall, the bedroom she would be staying in several doors down. "I know…Good night, Luke."
"Good night."
As much as her instinct was to keep him close to her, this was a good arrangement for them while here. She would have kept him in this room where Anakin stayed, with her, but there were a couple bad memories tied here as well. Heartbreak, the nightmares leading up to the death of Shmi…
She wanted Luke's memories of this place to be as untainted as possible. And besides, this particular trip was about connecting with his mother.
The fact that if she had dreams or got mournful with all the memories she'd still have the privacy of a separate room to hide behind to keep from exposing Luke to her lower moods and casting a dampener on the trip, short or long term, might have played a bit of a role in her decision, as well.
Alone in the room, Zelina made her way over to the bed she'd slept in last time, shrugging off her cloak and the small bag of her very few things that was a poor excuse for luggage, setting them both gently on the bed before. Looking around the room, feeling the silence of the room press around her, Zelina slowly sat down on the edge of the bed beside her things, head turned to cast her gaze over to the empty bed on the other side of the room.
She could almost see him, almost feel him still in this room with her. Imagine him getting ready for the day, Padawan braid stuck momentarily on his tunic as he pulled it on over his head, then-mostly-blemish-free muscles rippling as he stretched his arms above his head before pulling it down. She could still feel his semi-frustrated attempts at meditation out on the balcony, standing so he could gaze out at the sun reflecting off the calm lake Varykino sat at the edge of, stance one that she had seen Luke unknowingly emulate more than once during his own meditation attempts.
Almost twenty years, and no matter where she went, she could feel the absence. This trip…was going to magnify that absence during every passing moment.
But at least Luke would get the chance to connect with the memory of his parents.
Zelina started their day off with training the next morning, not wanting to slack on the now vital daily practice even if they were here to enjoy themselves and do some connecting—more connecting on Luke's part than Zelina's. She gave Luke his instructions, first—how he was to find a place to meditate every morning, moving or still meditation didn't matter as long as he was meditating, and how they were going to spar every day, and she would instruct him in his Force abilities…and how she was going to teach him to swim while they were here.
Now that they were no longer on Tatooine, there were several basic other environmental skills she needed to teach him, but swimming was a simple one and they were in an ideal location for it right now, as well.
After he was done with his daily training, he would be free to explore the halls of Varykino, to spend his time as he wished. She would allow him to go to the main city if he wished, so long as he kept a low profile and stayed in touch with her while he was gone. Zelina herself was going to abstain from going into the main city as a safety precaution—it would be much better than risking running into someone who might recognize her from back during the war. Luke was currently entirely unknown and could easily be just another tourist.
At some point, however, they would also be taking a little trip to somewhere a bit more remote, so he had to have at least one day set aside whenever he was making his plans for what to do while here.
This first day, though…Luke specifically requested that he get a tour of Varykino to the best of her abilities, for her to point out the important areas, especially, so he could know the significance and history of where they were staying on an even deeper level.
She started with the little things, first; the things that didn't necessarily hurt while she reminisced. She showed Luke where they would be eating, the dining room where they'd taken many of their meals. She could remember Anakin floating the pear across the table, much to Padmé's delight at the time. She showed him the lounge where Anakin and Padmé had their discussion of the future, whether they should pursue a life together and if they were willing to take those risks.
She left out the part where she was broken hearted in the hallway, unbeknown to them.
They walked around the verandas, the balconies, the spacious rooms, all of which had been sights of meditation and dueling during their stay—some of which she remembered distinctly winning, back then. Though she would give the credit to Anakin that he was a bit distracted showing off for Padmé whenever she was around.
The laughter still echoed around in her mind as she walked those shining stone paths, the teasing and the smiles…it felt worlds away, distant as a stranger and yet as warm as an old friend, even if they made old wounds ache.
Luke was a little confused when they went back up to the rooms, but she stopped them at her bedroom door, opening it and allowing Luke inside while she lingered in the doorway. "This is where I'm staying now, of course…it's also where your father and I stayed while we were protecting your mother. It looks like they kept everything the same…he had that side of the room over there…and I'd usually find him struggling to meditate out on that balcony," Zelina said softly, watching Luke drift initially over towards the bed on the other side of the room before striding out towards the balcony, a small, bashful smile on his face at the mention of Anakin struggling to meditate much as Luke still did. She'd mentioned it before during his training, but the subtle relation did not go by unappreciated.
Luke was out on the balcony for more than a few minutes, his presence…contemplative as he stood at the railing, looking out over the lake. When he came back inside, contemplation had morphed into curiosity and a hint of confusion.
"I would have thought, if there were double rooms, you'd want me staying in here with you? Not down the hall?"
Zelina pushed away from the doorway, gesturing for Luke to follow. They strode down the quiet hall, hearing Zelina's bedroom door hiss shut behind them. "This trip is mostly about connecting with your mother. You've spent years listening to stories mostly of Anakin, learning the Jedi ways to in part follow in his footsteps, wielding his lightsaber on his homeplanet amongst his family—even if it wasn't blood related. I haven't had nearly as many stories of Padmé…she wasn't on Tatooine much, and while the necklace was hers, Anakin made it for her. I want you to have the chance to connect with her, too. I won't do her the disservice of accidentally minimizing her importance, no matter how unintentional. This place…was important to all of us. It was the last place we all truly were at peace and happy before the war broke out…" Zelina murmured before they came back to the room she was having Luke stay in.
Padmé's room.
"But important as this was to both of them, I wanted this trip to be about Padmé more than Anakin. And this room…well, I take it you didn't look in the closet?"
Zelina got the sense that Luke could already see where she was going with this, given that speech, but he humored her, nonetheless, heading back into the room that had the bed made up and his small collection of things resting on the nightstand or in a bag on the floor in front of the nightstand. Luke strode over to the closet, opening it up to reveal the carefully preserved and enclosed clothes inside. As he carefully started to look over the pieces one by one, Zelina could feel her throat close as she recognized more than a few that he lingered on, including a few Padmé had worn during their stay here.
"This was my mother's room," Luke said softly, hand trailing slowly over the yellow dress she'd worn when they went to have a picnic in the fields that one bright day.
"It was. I'd heard they'd preserved her wardrobe, and since the staff still come here to keep it clean and maintained I figured they would keep it stored here in the family home where it could be looked after and maintained…" Zelina said softly, voice trailing off as she saw the deep blue dress that rippled like water, feeling her throat suddenly tighten too much to speak, especially as Luke paused in front of it.
"This one wasn't hers," he remarked, though he wasn't upset, just puzzled. At least until he turned around to ask Zelina for an explanation only to find she was overcome with a sudden burst of emotion, including barely restrained tears. "Mother?"
Zelina attempted to clear her throat, rubbing her cheek just in case any tears happened to escape. "It wasn't it…they must not have known any better. Probably thought it was simply one she never got around to wearing…It was mine. For a day, at least. I had my seventeenth birthday here. She wanted to do a full celebration, dress me up and everything…"
She couldn't bring herself to say more than that. There was more to it, so much more…but she'd never told Luke that she'd loved his father romantically as well. Never got into the complicated part of their relationship that Anakin hadn't known about until after he'd fallen, out of concern that Luke would be…uncomfortable, or that he might in some way find it strange. So, she was not about to get into how that had been the night things almost changed entirely. How if Padmé had waited a few moments longer, had waited until she'd seen them visually to say something and perhaps decided to say nothing at all, everything would have been different, to the point Luke might never have been born.
They didn't need to get into all that. That detail was not a weight for Luke to carry. That was one of Zelina's pains, not his.
Luke looked like he was going to shut the doors and move on, but Zelina shook her head, clearing her throat again. "Don't stop on my account. Like I said, this trip is mostly about connecting with your mother."
Luke shut the doors anyway, coming over to stand beside Zelina once more with a small smile. "I have plenty of time to explore more while we're here," he said softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She recognized the gesture for the disguised comfort it actually was. "Show me more?"
Zelina nodded slowly, putting her arm gingerly around his shoulders as they started to walk carefully back down the halls. "I can think of a few places…"
It took a bit of backtracking, but she showed him the ballroom they had spent some of their time in, the high vaulted ceiling with the open space, and with the balcony just off the grand room that had a wonderful view for stargazing. After that, they went out to the gardens, taking in the rich array of flora and the peaceful atmosphere teeming with life, walking side by side. When Luke stopped to dip his hand in the water of a fountain, eyes bright to see such a beautiful place vibrant with life and color and water, such a stark contrast from Tatooine, Zelina turned back to the house, gaze roaming its wall until she centered on a window up on one of the higher levels.
I don't think I ever showed it to you while we were there, but there was a room that overlooked the gardens in Varykino…I think that would be perfect for the baby's room, don't you? I was telling Anakin about it, but he was a little distracted by me, apparently. But I think he agrees. It would be perfect.
"What are you looking at?"
Zelina turned back around to see Luke watching her, gaze sliding between Zelina and the room she was gazing up at.
"Nothing," she said gently. "Just admiring the view and getting lost in my thoughts."
Something told her he didn't really believe her excuse.
*Luke's POV*
Luke didn't tell his mother, but while they were here, he could sense more than just the happiness his biological mother and his father had felt during their time here. He could feel it like an echo in this place, vibrating somewhere inside him he liked to think was the place he kept his parents close to his heart, some piece of them that lived on inside him like his mother had said when he was younger. But sometimes, when he was trying to do his morning meditation, he could feel the echoes of his mother's sadness, as well—Zelina's sadness.
During the tour, he'd thought what he'd been picking up on was her own mourning and pain coming back to a place that had held so much hope and represented in part what she had lost. Perhaps he had during the tour—she'd certainly been feeling it, and not just when he discovered her dress amongst his mother's things.
The first time he'd felt like there were more than just happy feelings here, something his mother wasn't telling him, he'd been meditating out on the veranda that she said his parents were married on. It had taken some time for him to work his way into the peaceful state, but he found that this quiet and life teeming place of beauty with such a strong connection to his family helped him find that quiet corner to really meditate. He felt a peace here, a happiness and a warmth of light he'd mostly only felt around his mother back on Tatooine. Here, however, he felt it everywhere. It soothed and calmed him, helped him find the peace his mother spoke of his parents finding here in their time at Varykino.
And meditating out on that Veranda, Luke could feel the warmth and the happiness glowing bright even after all these years, a love that he could only assume had to have been radiated by the two people who were married here in secret so long ago, a happiness and love that enveloped him during his meditation in that very same spot.
However, slightly removed from the radiating happiness but sourced from the same echo was…a deep sadness. Bittersweet happiness, tempered by a great heartbreak and sorrow, all vibrating inside him close to a connection he knew well as the connection he held with his mother.
This place was a place of mixed memories for her. Of great happiness that he could feel in the ballroom, on the balcony looking out at the stars, in the dining room and in some of the balconies and verandas she'd pointed out as good spots to meditate or spar. But also of heartbreak and sorrows, the echoes of which he could feel in the room she'd shared with his father, or lingering in some of the balconies and verandas, near the living room she mentioned his parents had discussed the futility of a relationship between themselves, or out here where his parents had been married.
This trip was more than just a stroll down memory lane that was full of happy, peaceful moments. This place held significance with all three of his parents, and in more than just the good way. But he wasn't going to bring it up. His mother…she sometimes looked around the retreat with a sorrow in her eyes that she clearly didn't want to talk about, or at least didn't want to burden him with. He just wasn't always sure if it was a sorrow of what was and could have been, or if it was from some of the memories she held of the not so happy times for her in this beautiful place.
Despite this being a retreat, and a time to connect to his birth mother, when it came to the training that his mother put him through, there was nothing relaxed or easy about it. Right away, it was…intense, to say the least. The lightsaber training he'd done before on Tatooine felt like nothing in response to what she did now. Some of it was familiar, but far more intensive with the adjusted regimen she presented him with. She had him going through some rigorous Form III and Form V training to practice defending against a large number of opponents with blasters, and she stressed being able to hold as close to a flawless defense as possible, return fire, and cover all around him—she even lamented not being able to bring in training droids and fire on him herself for more intensive training, lest a stray scorch mark leave evidence they were here. This intense drilling would be done until his arms ached, before they would take a brief rest, rehydrate, eat if they needed it, perhaps even meditate again to try and steady themselves before they continued.
And the lightsaber on lightsaber combat training…there was nothing simple or standard about that. It was almost nothing like what she'd done to train him on Tatooine. On Tatooine, she'd been focused on teaching him the forms, finding the ones he was best at and most comfortable with, getting a solid foundation and then honing it to a fine point. She'd admitted that while he was a quick study and picked things up at a remarkable rate, the lack of time around everything else he was committed to on Tatooine had slowed his progress because he wasn't immersed in it all day every day like she had been. He still got standard schooling, learned mechanics and piloting, she included target practice and flying practice, he helped on the farm and in the cantina, she let him have time to do whatever he wanted and to spend time with friends. Not only that, but most places they couldn't do anything Force or Jedi related, they had to find somewhere safe to practice and make sure there was no one around to see them.
She at least did him the courtesy of telling him that was about to change when they were initially discussing his training from here on out. That they were about to get a hell of a lot more intensive in the training and practice, and they were about to spend a lot more time on it, too, once they left Varykino.
But the first time she sparred him for his new and improved training…shocked him. The stance she took was not her normal beginning stance when she trained him. She did not leave her lightsaber clipped to her belt to start, she started with it ignited in her hand and humming at her side like a taunt to come at her, and her posture…
Luke had known immediately that he was in for a nasty surprise once the spar started, and his instincts had been dead on.
The ferocity with which she came at him, however, was enough that the downward strike to his blade was jarring, the slide down towards his hand instant and alarming and immediately sending him back-peddling. The attacks were aggressive, fast, strong, brutally unforgiving in their execution, and she didn't hesitate to play dirty, either—there were physical blows, too, though Luke could feel there was enough restraint not to cause actual serious harm. Enough to stun him or knock the wind out of him, yes, but he wasn't going to have any bruises.
He didn't think so, anyway.
He didn't last long in that first spar, and he spent the whole time on the defensive before his mother forced him into a semi-kneeling position with her lightsaber held pointed at his chest while her other hand gripped his wrist and kept him from blocking or warding her off.
The next round was just as unforgiving. As was the third, and the fourth.
When she was getting ready for the fifth round, Luke breathing heavily and starting to feel sore from the intensity that she was pushing him, Luke tried to speak before she could launch into round five.
"Wait, wait, wait," he remarked, breathing heavily. She paused, but he didn't like how she was still twirling that lightsaber lazily and kept it at the ready. "What is this about? This is…nothing like you've trained me before."
As she turned on her heel and started stalking in the opposite direction, Luke realized she was prowling as she waited for Luke to say his peace.
"You're right, it's not," she returned, and despite the aggression and the ferocity in her attacks, the fact she was prowling at the edge of their chosen sparring ground, Luke was able to draw some relief from the fact that her voice was calm and steady, as tempered as he was used to seeing her. But this aggression…
He really, really didn't want to call it darkness. Not with his family's history.
"I'm updating your training regimen," she reminded him, and Luke barely had time to move into an at the ready position from the relaxed and tired stance he'd taken while trying to talk to her.
Luke blocked her violet blade with a firm block much like she'd been teaching him before they'd left Tatooine. This time, his footing was solid. Instead of allowing her to break away for another flurry of relentless blows, Luke tried to hold the block against the power coming down at him from his much taller sparring opponent.
"Is this…about that dark sider…on the Death Star?" Luke grunted, forced to break away when the lightsabers locked together were getting far too close to his face for comfort.
They'd turned the settings down to a non-harmful setting just to be safe, but he still didn't want to feel that sting of the lightsaber on his face even in training mode.
Zelina didn't let up, pursuing him all the way to the extreme end of veranda. He was not used to this downright brutal form of combat, not in the least, and he was struggling to hold her off.
Calling on one of the forms his mother had taught him that he normally didn't use much, Luke used what little space he still had left to take some of what she'd taught him of Form IV to try and use his environment to his advantage and gain some height, pushing up and off the column on his side to try and get a downwards blow on her. She had to back up, but as he was coming down, she grabbed him in the Force, threw him over her shoulder and to the ground, knocking the wind out of him—
Much as the dark sider had done to her on the Death Star.
He didn't even start to get to his feet before there was a knee on his chest and a lightsaber at his throat, his mother's grim expression hovering above him as he had to concede yet another match.
"It is," she said somberly, helping him to his feet and—thankfully, finally, have mercy—deactivating her lightsaber.
Luke rubbed his chest with a grimace of his own. "I'm going to still be feeling that tomorrow…" he murmured, while his mother sighed and went over to the edge of the veranda, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back against the stone railing.
"I wasn't expecting any dark siders like that to be roaming the galaxy. After your father died…" she said, voice hushing and words momentarily pausing at the proclamation. She had to take a moment before she continued, allowing Luke a few seconds to mellow and quietly start to approach where she was standing. "After what happened with Anakin, I figured the Emperor would be much more careful about how powerful his apprentices were, that he wouldn't allow anyone too strong to exist even under his thumb, lest they rebel like Anakin did. But that…whoever, whatever that was…the depth of the darkness coming from them…it was even worse than what I sensed coming off Anakin the night at the Jedi Temple…"
Zelina's voice hushed even further, and a somberness fell over them at the mention of that tragic night, of the reminder of the bloodshed and the catastrophe wrought during his father's brief time on the dark side.
"I didn't train you to fight that. I was foolish for it, too focused trying to train you against Jedi Hunters and soldiers, trying to get your basics down and get the technique right…I didn't train you for a Sith, a true Sith. Most Jedi can't train for it, it's…it's an entirely different experience, and not something the Jedi would have allowed in the temple. The way they fight, the brutality of it all, the fear they can strike in you if you're faced with it unprepared…"
Zelina shook her head, looking back up to meet Luke's gaze. "If something like that is roaming this galaxy, has seen me, seen you—if we're going to step into the grand scheme and there's a chance we keep running into them, I need to prepare you for a much different kind of fight than what I've been training you for up until now. Those are all still relevant, I'm sure we're going to run into Jedi Hunters both Force Sensitive and not, and Force knows we're going to run into plenty of soldiers of the Imperial Military. But Force forbid we run into whoever that was again, or there's something like it out there in the galaxy, and you're stuck with me and can't leave that fight, I need you as prepared as I can make you to at least hold your own in those fights."
She tilted her head slightly, regarding him. "I'm not a dark sider. I can't…emulate that part of it in its raw, unbridled form. But, your father, while he was walking the edge…well, he had a very aggressive and unforgiving form of fighting later on in the Clone Wars. I figured that's the closest we're going to be able to get to what a fight with a Sith would be like while we're training. His more aggressive and brutal lightsaber fighting style is the best way I can think of to prepare you for a Sith fight, and I saw a fair bit of it with all the sparring we used to do. And let me make it clear…I'm not trying to train you to fight like a Sith, I don't want you fighting like a dark sider, tapping into hate and fear and aggression…I'm trying to teach you how to hold your own when you're faced with one, what you need to do to adjust to that kind of ruthless fighting and how to survive it. How to stay calm and focused in the face of it, instead of them unbalancing or overcoming you."
Luke let out a soft sigh, looking down at the ground as he contemplated her words, the seriousness of what she spoke of and the reality of just how dangerous that enemy on the Death Star had actually been. He might have been foolish enough to be cocky and claim he would be all right if his mother hadn't just mopped the floor with him five times over fighting more like a dark sider, and knowing that dark sider had still harmed his mother during that fight between the two more than once.
She was right. As he was right now, he was not prepared for a fight with a true Sith, not even with her assistance. He couldn't even hold his own defensively against that brutal attack because he'd been so rattled by it.
"You know, you could have warned me, first," Luke eventually said in response to her explanation. Zelina simply shook her head.
"You wouldn't get a warning if you were faced with a Sith. And I needed you to understand how serious this is, first. I didn't want it getting into your head somehow that I was somehow overreacting and you were already perfectly capable. I need to train you better for this, and that's what we're going to be focusing on from here on out. The rest you can practice on your own or as warmups."
Considering right now they were speaking in a student/teacher relationship, Luke put his hands together and bowed, as his mother had once taught him was customary among the Jedi. "Yes, Master."
There was the slightest smile on her face at that, and she reached out to affectionately ruffle his hair before she straightened, a hand on his back to lead him back to the middle of the veranda. "Come on, again—we're going to do this until you can't keep it up anymore. Then we'll rest again and move on to other things."
He did his best to hide the grimace as he complied with her request for more of the brutal sparring.
Thankfully, the rest of his training was not nearly as intensive and brutal as the lightsaber combat training had been.
To his surprise, the rest of the training that his mother wanted to work on was actually focused on his environment, and how he was about to be exposed to a lot more than just the desert. When it came to his force abilities, she taught him to do more than just pull energy from the heat around him and simultaneously convert it into energy for his Force abilities. Now, she introduced him to the concept of tapas to keep himself warm in colder climates.
The very first time she started teaching him tapas, she gave him the reminder to respect the Force and not to start taking his abilities for granted. While the cooler environment of Naboo that he wasn't used to provided a good starting place to learn the ability in general, she was mostly teaching him the ability so he could better survive in situations where he could be exposed to extreme cold. Ice planets, planets with nearly constant cold rain or freezing waters, or even if he is ever out in space and power for the ship needs to be diverted to a system other than the heat. She would have taught him the ability on Tatooine, apparently, but she had been worried about him accidentally giving himself heatstroke while practicing warming up his body in the middle of the desert.
It didn't take long for him to grasp the concept, not with her teaching, and especially after she'd described it as the reverse of an ability he'd already been using on Tatooine on days when it was particularly hot and he was outside for long hours.
The other surprise had been Zelina deciding that it was time for Luke to learn how to swim. Admittedly, Luke hadn't even been thinking of that while he was admiring the lake around them, or even while he was controlling the water speeder to get them here in the first place. So, he was glad his mother had been thinking of such things.
Her methods…were a little less appreciated.
At first, it hadn't been so bad. She'd sat on the edge of the dock with her feet in the water and Luke in the water in front of her, holding him by the arms and teaching him how to kick his feet, how to let go and relax and float. When he was good enough he wasn't going to immediately start sinking in the water, she let him hold to the edge of the dock when he needed to stay afloat and work on using his arms. Then it was small circles and laps in front of her, and as soon as he could somewhat move around in the water in front of her and keep his head above the surface…
Well, that's when it became part of his training regimen. He started having to swim every day out to this small island a little ways away from where Varykino was. They did this in the earliest hours of the dawn, before the sun even crested over the horizon, but it was still light enough out that it wouldn't be the dangerous act of swimming in the dark, especially with how Luke was still learning. His mother had told him that his birth mother apparently used to swim to the island every day when she stayed at the retreat growing up, which was a fun little tidbit to know, but didn't stop his arms from aching or make accidentally swallowing water more than once during his rocky first few laps any better. Still, his mother stayed close by to make sure he was all right. He envied her use of the water speeder some mornings, but it was a wise choice on her part. She'd already proved to him she could swim the distance when he'd griped about it once, and he knew she was driving the water speeder so that if he tired out or was struggling too much and needed immediately brought out of the water, she could pull him into the speeder and he could rest. It was much better than risking drowning.
The first few times making the lap to the island and back, even with the break at the island in between, was terrible. He was worn out by the first half, or would need to get pulled into the speeder at some point before he ended up drowning. Gradually, though, he was getting better, and his mother made sure that he recognized that and appreciated it. He was no expert swimmer, not by a long shot, but he could swim, he could survive if he was plunged into the water, and he knew enough to know how to float and let himself rest a bit when he started to tire, and he could swim a distance, even if it was slowly. Plus, his mother started coaching him to extend how long he could hold his breath underwater, just in case. That was a bit easier to do, something practiced over at the dock, and he made better progress with that training than in learning how to swim, admittedly.
He did, occasionally, go out to the city of Theed on his own just to enjoy the sights and the culture. His mother would give him a few credits, he would stick to his story about how he's visiting to see a world other than flat desert for his birthday, and he would simply walk around and enjoy the beauty of his birth mother's home world. Maybe get something to eat while he was out and about.
He didn't know what his mother would do while he was gone, but he hoped it was something productive like training or some other kind of study. He hated the thought of her alone at the house in some dark corner, mourning what was.
As for today…today was the day she'd asked him to set aside for the both of them. He'd been instructed to get a change of clothes, she'd packed towels and food for the two of them, they'd taken the water speeder when light was just starting to appear in the sky, and they'd gone a little ways away, Zelina having the speeder float above the water instead of driving in it, partially so it would make less noise.
By the time they stopped, they were disembarking from the speeder and back onto land, a sprawling meadow stretched out in front of them with rolling hills, rich with wildflowers, and a little ways away there were waterfalls cascading down into a body of water barely small enough to be counted a pond, speckled with tiny islands filled with more long grass and attached to the lake by a narrow channel. As Luke and Zelina trudged up one of the hills to find a spot at the top to put their things and settle in, Luke let his fingers run over the long blades of grass, fingers occasionally tickled by the soft petals of the wildflowers.
"It's beautiful out here," Luke murmured to his mother as she seemed to find her spot given the fact that she was setting their things down, straightening back up and looking off into the distance where there were some shaak grazing as if to calculate whether they would wander over to the quiet place they'd settled down in or not.
"It is, isn't it? I knew about this spot thanks to the last time I was here, but…I figured it was a good place to just relax and enjoy the scenery for the day."
The last time she was here…which means it was another place his parents had been, as well. She was a bit more subtle about it this time, which made sense if she wanted this to be a day that was just him and her relaxing and having a bit of fun around all the intensive training.
And besides, even if they only came here with a change of clothes, some towels, and some food, there was plenty to do.
After a warning not to swim under the waterfalls and get caught by them, especially with his rudimentary swimming skills, Luke and his mother did enjoy some swimming in the pond, which also allowed Luke to get a closer look at the waterfalls to admire them some more. They dried out and rested on the grassy islands and talked while gazing up at the rich blue sky, sometimes pointing out interesting clouds as they rolled by. Once they were starting to prune from all the time in the water, they headed back to land, drying off and getting changed into their dry clothes before they settled down for a light lunch. After that, his mother had laid down 'Just to relax a bit,' though she quickly fell asleep. Not that Luke minded much, as it gave him an opportunity to wander through the fields and get a closer look at the wildflowers, to go over to the pond again and sit on the bank and watch some of the braver fish swimming closer to the shore…
Just as his mother had hoped, it was a peaceful, calming day.
Well, almost.
While he was enjoying his alone time in the beautiful meadow and his mother was fast asleep, he was able to sense a growing unrest in her presence, likely coming from some dream. He didn't get up and wake her; not yet, anyway. He simply…monitored, and waited to see if it was the kind of nightmares that would either wake her or he should wake her from, or if it was going to be just another dream…
*Zelina's POV*
She was inside the ballroom at Varykino. Outside, the sun was setting, allowing light to still filter into the room and cause streaks of the bright shining stone floor and pillars to shimmer while also casting long dark shadows through the room. She was no longer in her modified mix of Jedi clothes and armor, but in the shimmering blue dress from her seventeenth birthday. It still fit perfectly, though the bell sleeves felt heavy after so long in short sleeves and wrapped wrists and hands, the neckline felt like it plunged further down in the front than when she'd worn it that night, and while the bustle and draping seemed much less than she remembered, the fishtail train in the back was far more weight on her clothes than she was used to after the 22, 23 years she'd spent with light clothes and armor between the Clone Wars and Tatooine.
Tentatively, she took a few steps forwards as if she were testing whether she could still move in the dress, listening to the fabric hiss softly against the smooth stone and her slight raised heels click with each step as she walked from light to shadow to light…
There was the distinct sound of boots against the stone floor that overcame the sound of her heels. A long stride, heavier footfalls…
Zelina turned sharply at the sound of the footsteps that announced she wasn't alone, gaze immediately finding Anakin coming to a stop a few paces from her in one of the strips of the room lit by the setting sun. It wasn't the Anakin from back then, though. This was the Anakin she'd seen on Coruscant in the final days of the Republic, and later in her vision when she'd recovered her new kyber crystals for her lightsabers. His clothes were somehow darker than she remembered, and the way the sunset reflected in his eyes was unfortunately unsettling coloring, but besides that…
It was him. It even felt like him. Just a shadow of what she once felt with their bond, but…if she didn't think too hard on it, she could convince herself that he was here.
She tried to speak to him, to say something, any of the many things still unsaid between them, but even though she knew what she wanted to say and she could swear her mouth was forming the words, no sound came out. Not so much as a whisper.
She could still move, though. Anakin had already raised a hand to take her hand in his as she hurried up to him, wanting to hug him but startled by the gesture into slowing down, allowing him to take her hand in his gloved one. She could feel the smoothness of the leather in contrast to the metal hand underneath in even sharper detail than she had in real life, and when he gently kissed the back of her hand like a gentleman…
She really hated that the plunging neckline allowed more of her blush to be seen than her usual attire.
As Anakin straightened up again, pulling her into him in the process, she heard music start to play with no true origin, something similar to what had played on her seventeenth birthday, but also sounding…different. The undertones were different, though she couldn't put her finger on how, especially since the music echoed around the room, soft as if from the other end of a tunnel one moment and then as if it was playing just behind her the next.
Anakin's other hand found its way to her waist, then slid a bit further around to hold her more securely to him by wrapping his arm around her waist, hand finding a firm place at her hip, but on the other side this time. When they started to step in the waltz Padmé had taught them both oh so long ago, it was as if she'd just been instructed, falling naturally into the rhythm of the waltz, especially with Anakin leading her without hesitation.
Despite the sound and the heightened sensation, she still couldn't say anything. Given the way that Anakin hadn't so much as mouthed a word, he couldn't, either. But she could hear the sound of the room, could feel the warmth of the hand at her waist, could smell the rich flowers of Varykino all around her…
Anakin started them in small circles that almost kept them in place in the beam of light from the sunset outside, as if getting them used to the feel of the waltz after so much time had passed, even though they both seemed to remember it perfectly. By the time he'd started to widen the circle, she realized that the music that should have ended by now somehow was continuing, and doing so naturally so she couldn't feel the end of the song coming.
Their dance began to bring them in a wider circle across the floor, Zelina occasionally spun into the darker stretches of the room where the sunlight couldn't reach her, but Anakin's gentle hand continued to hold her securely and steadily through the motions he led her through, somehow able to keep himself in that beam of light.
For a while.
Just as the dance started to feel more dizzying with the tighter circles, Anakin finally widened the space they were dancing in considerably so that they moved through the whole room, Anakin leading them both betweens the beams of warm light cast by the sunset and the long shadows from the pillars. As they spun through the darker spaces together, Anakin's grip tightened, and he seemed to loom a bit larger in the shadow, his movements sharper and a bit more…predatory. She couldn't see him that well in the shadow, however, and once they stepped into the light of the sunset again, his shoulders were relaxed, grip gentle, their dance a flow as smooth as the water her dress seemed to emulate. He'd tighten again once they entered the shadows, loom in his presence, just to ease into the dance all over again as soon as she could see him clearly in the light. The next time they crossed into shadow he spun her away from him, holding tightly to her fingertips as she spun into the light with enough resonance of a dark vision long ago it took her breath away for a few seconds before he pulled her back in as he joined her in the next beam of light, holding her close to him with a gentle grasp once more. Back into the dark and he dipped her, the fingers at her waist feeling like they were digging into her skin and down to the bone while his hand started to squeeze hard enough she felt her hand ache, but he'd pulled her back in and softened his grip again as they spun faster back into the light.
It was getting hard for her eyes to adjust fast enough between the swift changes between beams of light and shadow as their dance picked up pace, hard for her to make sense of their surroundings, to see him clearly as she was blinded by the void of the darkness and the suddenness of the light back to back, over and over. And to make things even more disorienting, voices added themselves to the mix, seeming to whisper in her ear alongside the music that got closer in its echo in the light but distant as if down a tunnel in the dark.
Don't let me fall…
It took Zelina a second to realize Anakin had not spoken, that the echo in her ear was the memory of the fragment that plagued her after their strange trip to Mortis. Before she could even process the fact that she was hearing Anakin but it wasn't coming from Anakin at the same time, there was a whisper in the other ear—Luke's voice this time.
Please, watch over my father.
Anakin's grip on her tightened once more, except this time, the grip did not loosen again as they danced to the music that didn't seem to end no matter how faint or strong the echoes became. At best, his grip adjusted or shifted; one moment his grip on her hand would be tight, then it would loosen as the arm around her waist constricted instead, and vice versa, on and on as they danced in those dizzying circles. The whispers in her ears seemed to tilt back and forth between Anakin and Luke just like the echoes and Anakin's grip and the light and dark, further disorienting her.
You fell through every time. Not one of your promises to me was kept.
Anakin was certainly still leading, and somehow, he had enough of his bearings not to crash them into a wall as they continued the unending waltz. Sometimes she thought he might spin them out of control, that they would crash into something, and while she had no way to make the dance stop, she somehow managed to act as a counterbalance, keeping them from spiraling into a complete disaster.
You have to help him, do something!
Her hand ached, but she could not separate the two of them. She didn't know if it was the fact that she felt if she pulled away she would send them both crashing to the ground, or if it was because of how tightly he was holding onto her. She couldn't stop this dance any more than she could manage words.
You left me behind. Do you even know what happened to me?
Zelina tried to focus on Anakin, to see him through the disorienting flashing between light and dark and the constant spin of their waltz, but she couldn't focus on any of his features. All she could do was cling to him in return and try to keep them both from crashing and burning, try to be the balance while he did the leading, and pray she could continue to keep up.
You need to protect him.
The sun's setting had continued uninterrupted as they danced, and yet it never seemed to disappear over the horizon. The light simply continued to grow deeper and richer in its burning colors, blending into the looming black of the shadows as seamlessly as smoke and flame.
You've already forgotten me.
Anakin's grip on her was only getting harder, though thankfully it continued to shift. However, it was starting to pass a threshold of pain beyond just the ache she'd been suffering in silence from up to this point, yet she still lacked the voice she needed to tell him to loosen his grip a little. She tried to flex her fingers in order to show him she was uncomfortable, but her own fingers didn't obey her, intertwining into his fingers and deepening their grip, instead.
Go to him. He's going to need you now.
She was starting to find it hard to breathe. The room felt too small, the air stale, the dark shadows seeming to grow and turn suffocating, and an ache was starting to build up inside her and slowly spread everywhere. She needed to stop this dance before she collapsed.
The next whisper was not in her ear, but an echo around the room, further adding to her disorientation, and it was a different speaker this time.
Your fate is also so deeply rooted with that of your friend that everything in the life of one of you affects the other. Your fates are intertwined; inseparable.
Zelina tried to stop the dance, to dig her heels in and pull her and Anakin to a stop, but the ache was growing to a more agonizing pain, and Zelina found that her movements were no longer her own. Her body would not respond to her, and instead of stopping the dance as she desperately wanted to do as she could taste metal and sweat on her lips between heavy breaths of cloying, stale air, she only continued to twirl between the burning light of the setting sun and the darkness whose shadows loomed larger and larger in the room. If she was in pain, if the pain was growing and spreading through her whole body, she should be able to stop, not continue to spiral on and on with no end in sight no matter how much she resisted—
There was a hand on her shoulder, someone other than Anakin pulling her back, and suddenly the whole room vanished. She was on Naboo, but she was lying on her back in the fields, not spiraling through the ballroom. The sky was a soft blue above her, the grass a gentle green around her, and peering over here was Luke, his gaze concerned and his hand resting on her shoulder where he'd just finished shaking her awake.
"Mother?" Luke asked in clear concern, pulling his hand away but still crouched down beside her with that worried furrow to his brow.
Zelina realized she hadn't moved or spoken, hadn't even breathed yet, and took a deep inhale of the fresh clear air, running a hand down her face and then back up into her hair. "Sorry…" she murmured. "I didn't mean to fall asleep…how long was I out?"
Luke offered her a hand, which she took, allowing him to help her to her feet. "Just an hour or so, at best. It just…didn't seem like a very restful nap, so I figured it was time to wake you. Are you all right?"
Zelina was staring at him, her breath having caught as a dizzying sense of déjà vu fell over her. The memory of a time long ago in a completely different dream washed over her, where Anakin had vanished as Luke approached and helped her to her feet in the fields of Varykino, guiding her back to her present.
Zelina closed her eyes so Luke couldn't see the sudden sense of sorrow that blindsided her at the revelation, shaking her head at his question. "I'm fine, just a little groggy. You probably should have given me a couple more moments to wake up before helping me up," she said with a weak laugh. Luke reached out with a hand to steady her, which at the moment was greatly appreciated.
Once she was sure she'd swallowed down the emotions that had stirred inside her with the strange mix of visions, dreams, and reality, she opened her eyes and gave the now greatly concerned Luke a reassuring smile.
"I'm okay. Now come on, I'm sure there's other things we could be doing rather than worrying about my temporary vertigo."
Luke clearly didn't believe her, but his gaze was cast over to the fields off to the side, noting something that was approaching from the direction. "I think the shaaks have gotten closer, if you think that's anything of note."
Zelina smiled, wrapping an arm around Luke's shoulders as she turned them towards the herd that had indeed drifted closer while she was napping. "Then let's go see the shaaks, shall we? Just don't try to surf one of them, I promise you it won't end well."
While Luke's concern turned into confusion trying to figure out what she was talking about, Zelina did her best to tuck her dream away into the mess of nightmares she'd been dealing with for almost 20 years by now to be dealt with at some other time. Just not now, when she was supposed to be focused on Luke, on his well-being and enjoyment, and they were having the last few good peaceful days undisturbed that they would get in who knew how long.
Even if he didn't know it yet, Luke needed to have this, and she was not about to taint it in any way.
