Chapter 9: All-Clear
Clara did her very best not to repeat the mistakes her parents had made in her raising of May. She taught her daughter to be an advocate for herself. To ask questions and demand answers. She taught her how to use self-defense and good judgement to protect herself. She taught her the importance of honesty and choice. To that end, when May was old enough, Clara had finally told her the full truth about her job.
"You're a spy?" May's eyes were wide as she absorbed the information her mother was telling her. "I thought you just helped Uncle Jack."
Clara chuckled. "I do. Just a bit more than I let on." She gave her daughter a serious look. "I'm telling you all of this, May, because when I was young, I had parents who didn't tell me that they were agents—"
"Granny Oswald and Dave were spies?" May's eyes widened further.
Clara nodded. "They were, and that's why your gran was killed. And, because they never told me about what they did, I wasn't able to protect myself when Simeon and the Silence came looking for me."
She hated the flash of fear that crossed May's face. "Will they come for me, too?"
She bit down on her lower lip before pulling May into her side on the couch. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. But if they do, I want you to know who they are and why they've come. I need you to promise me, though, not to tell anyone outside of our family. They're the only people who know, and it needs to stay that way so we can all stay safe."
May nodded seriously. "I promise." She looked down at her hands. "Mum…are you a spy so we can get Dad back?"
Clara let out a slow breath. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised that her smart girl had connected those dots so easily. Since May was small, she had known about the Silence and why they couldn't see her father. "That's one of the reasons."
Though she had only been twelve when Clara told her the truth, May had kept her promise. Clara hadn't worried, really, about May spreading information about what she did for work with anyone. She and Jack had taught her the importance of protecting their family's true identities since she was old enough to understand why they had to live under protective custody. May was no stranger to keeping important secrets.
"Carry this for me, would you?" She handed May the tray of cupcakes that Amy had tasked her to bring for Melody's birthday.
May nodded and bounded toward the Ponds' front door with the tray firmly in hand.
It was Amy who answered the door with a smile. "Ah, Smiths! Come in. Melody is in the back garden."
Clara grinned as she gave the ginger a hug. "Fifteen already, how are you and Rory feeling about that?"
"Oh! Don't get Rory started. I think he's having a small existential crisis over it." Amy laughed as she led Clara into the kitchen. She set the cupcakes down and turned her eyes back on Clara. "Before we join everyone…have you heard from Jack?"
Clara's face dropped as sadness flooded her chest. She shook her head. "No, but you know how he is. When he's off on a mission, he's impossible to reach."
"Do you think he'll find her?" Amy's voice was quiet even though they were well out of earshot from everyone else.
She sucked in her cheeks and let out a slow breath. "I don't know, Amy. I hope so." She helped Amy gather up paper plates and napkins. "But let's not dwell on that—we have a fine young lady to celebrate!"
Her phone rang in her pocket, and she paused. "Oh, hold on. It's Gwen, I'll be right behind you." She answered the call and pressed her phone to her ear. "Hi, Gwen. I'm at the Ponds' for Melody's birthday party, can I call you back?"
"I'll just be a moment, this is news that they'll want to hear, too." Gwen's voice was full of excitement. "Clara, they've authorized me to give you the all-clear. The raid was successful—it's just River Song whose left, now."
Clara sank down into the nearest chair with a huff. "They got them all?"
"Every last one!" Gwen's smile was audible. "Torchwood has officially recalled the handlers who were monitoring the Tylers and the Ponds. They've also sent the all-clear to Matt." Her voice was softer at the end. "It's over, Clara."
Her heartbeat stuttered as she took in that last bit of information. It was over. The living under a different name, the having to uproot May every few months to a new safehouse, all of it. Her eyes drifted to the window that led to the back garden and she felt her lips tug into a smile.
May could meet her dad. She could see him again.
"Thanks, Gwen," she said, and hung up the phone before quickly moving through the house into the garden toward Amy and Rory.
"What's happened? Why are you smiling so much?" Rory asked.
"Gwen phoned me. We've been given the all-clear." Her body was buzzing with excitement, and she bounced on her toes. "The Silence are gone."
Both Amy and Rory let out laughs of relief as they gathered her up into a hug. "Oh, that's marvelous!" Amy crowed, and turned to where Rose and David were huddled over a board game with May and Melody. "Rose! David! Torchwood's given the all-clear."
"What?" David shouted as he rose to his feet with a smile of his own. "Are you sure?"
Clara nodded and held up her phone. "Gwen just gave me the confirmation now."
"Ha! Excellente!" He rushed forward to pull Clara up into a bear hug.
"Brilliant!" Rose shouted. "Oh, this calls for an extra special celebration!"
Melody and May exchanged a look. "Does this mean we won't be moving anymore?" May asked.
Clara nodded as she planted a kiss on the top of her daughter's head. "Yes, love. No more moving."
May's face broke out into a bright smile of her own, and she jumped up to pull Clara into a hug. "I can go back to normal school!"
Clara laughed, and hope bubbled up in her chest as she wrapped her arms even more tightly around May. This was going to be the start of a brilliant new chapter for them.
"Mum?"
"Yes, sweetheart?" she asked.
May pulled her a few steps away from everyone else. "Does this mean that we'll get to see Dad?" Her eyes were wide and filled with hope.
Clara let out a slow breath. "Let's take it one step at a time. I'll have to see if I can even find him first."
May nodded and turned to rush back toward Melody. "Mel! Let's go find the sparkling cider!"
Clara rejoined the crowd and was quickly pulled into the house by Amy. "C'mon, help me find some glasses. I sent Rory down the road to get us all some champagne."
She followed Amy into the kitchen and stopped just short of the door to take a moment to gather her breath. So much was happening all at once that she felt the need to take a moment to let it all sink in.
It was all over. Everything that she'd done during the last fifteen years to keep herself, May, and Matt safe had not been in vain. They had all made it through, though they were not all together. Not yet. But the fact that it was now a possibility sent warm feeling straight into Clara's fingers and toes, causing them to tingle. A smile spread across her face.
"Clara?"
She blinked and pulled herself back into the present. "Coming!"
"So? Have you been to see him yet?" Gwen asked as she settled into her desk across from Clara's.
She shook her head. "No, not yet. I haven't even looked up his address."
"Why not?"
"It's complicated, Gwen, he thinks that I'm dead."
"Exactly! Won't he be glad to see that you're not?"
Clara sucked in her cheeks, and her heart squeezed as she remembered where she had picked up that particular mannerism. "What if he rejects me? What if he's angry that I lied to him? What if he's moved on with someone else? I don't know if I could take that risk—especially with May in tow. If he rejected us both that would destroy her."
"So go on your own—feel him out. From what you and Jack have told me about him, I doubt he'd send you away." Gwen typed something into her computer, and then scribbled whatever she saw on a piece of paper before handing it to Clara. "Here. That's his address. Take the day and do some reconnaissance. I'll cover here for you."
Clara stared at the scrap of paper for a long moment before she let out a huff and reached for her purse. "I know I'm going to regret this."
"If you do, I'll be on your doorstep with a bottle of something as soon as you call," Gwen said, and then shooed her away. "Now go!"
The drive to the town Matt had been living in took about two hours for Clara, and in all that time, her resolve to see him oscillated back and forth half a dozen times. By the time she had turned onto the street where he lived, she was completely torn. One half of her urged her to turn the car around and head back home. Her other, more impulsive side kept her moving forward. Because what if he did accept her? What if, when he saw her, he pulled her into his arms and never let her go? What if when he heard about May, he immediately wanted to know her?
She couldn't take that chance from him, could she?
Clara let out a slow breath and flexed her slightly shaky hands as she parked across the street from his house. She turned off the engine of the car and looked over at the building. It had a modest garden out front, and she couldn't stop her heart from leaping into her throat when she saw the white rose bushes growing around the front bay window. Hope flooded into her chest. Maybe he would accept her, after all.
Just as she was about to get out of the car, a woman turned into the house's driveway and parked. She was tall—certainly much taller than Clara—with dark hair and eyes similar to her own. Clara blinked, and her brows pulled together with confusion as the woman unlocked the front door and stepped inside. Did she get the wrong house?
Her heart squeezed when she saw him step in front of the bay window. Tall and lanky, he didn't appear to have changed much. He wore a button-down shirt with his favorite red braces over top and a mess of hair flopping over his forehead.
Clara froze when the woman stepped in front of the window and pulled Matt in for a kiss. The hope that she'd felt growing within her immediately fell flat, and she gripped the steering wheel as tightly as she could. Tears pricked in her eyes as she watched them smile at each other, and she squeezed her eyes shut when they disappeared from view.
She was so stupid to have come; what was she thinking? Of course Matthew had moved on. It had been fifteen years. He thought she was dead; how could she have expected that he hadn't started over with someone else by now?
She furiously swiped away the tears that had dared to fall from her eyes and started the car engine with shaky hands. Her heart was pounding as she pulled herself back onto the road and sped away from the quiet domestic scene as quickly as she could safely manage.
How could she have allowed Gwen to convince her that this was in any way a good idea? Seeing him again, reuniting with him, had been the only thing that had kept her moving forward for so long now. It had been a foolish dream. One that now brought forth all of the pain and grief that she had been afraid of feeling. It was her worst nightmare realized.
Clara forced herself to pull over when tears started to blur her vision too badly. She stopped the engine, and curled in on herself as she allowed the sob that she'd been suppressing to break to the surface. Her shoulders shook, and she brought a hand up to her mouth as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. What was she going to tell May? Her daughter had already been asking about trying to find Matt. What could she tell her now?
And what about the rest of her family? She couldn't keep Matt from the Tylers or the Ponds. They deserved to reunite with him, but she knew that would mean that she would have to see him again, too.
As her tears began to slow and she started to reign herself in, she decided that she needed time to process this before she told anyone else that she'd found him.
Clara started up the car's engine again and pulled back onto the road to resume the long drive home. She was going to take Gwen up on that offer for a bottle of something when she got back. Preferably something strong.
If she could manage it, Clara wanted to forget today ever happened.
