Chapter Twenty-Four: 1980-1981

November 15, 1980

Hi Aunt Min,

I apologize for the amount of time that has passed between Mum's funeral and this letter. It took me a lot longer than I would have liked to come around.

I won't pretend I'm not hurt. I wish you felt you could have confided in me. But then I remembered that I am a parent, too. I would probably have done the same thing for either of my girls.

I have realized during this time apart that I'm not mad at you or Uncle Al, not really. I'm not even mad at Mum and Dad. I think I'm mad at Athena and Dalton.

We were close growing up. You caught a glimpse of that in the scrapbook that Aoife and I gave you. Dalton and I told each other things. To this day, there are things he knew—knows?—about me that no one else does. He was like my little brother, and I miss him every day. To discover that he and Athena decided to leave us all has hurt me more than I thought possible.

I know they were struggling. I know they had suffered one of the worst losses life can give you. What you might not know, Aunt Min, is that Dalton and I wrote to each other quite a bit in the aftermath of that fateful attack. I know things I probably shouldn't say, even now. What stings is realizing that I knew all of that, and yet he never once told me that he and Athena were thinking of leaving our time forever. He never hinted at it.

I'm sorry that I didn't speak to you for so long. I shouldn't have punished you for something that hurt you a lot more than it hurt me.

I love you, Aunt Min.

Iolanthe (Mira, if you still feel comfortable using that nickname)

November 16, 1980

My dearest, dearest Mira,

I appreciate the apology. I completely understand how you've been feeling. There is no right way to feel in this situation. It's a messy, complicated state of affairs. I wish it weren't, but it is. I've known about it since 1967, and I'm still not sure how to handle my emotions. I don't know that there is a way to manage them. Your Uncle Albus and I take it one day at a time, like so many others must do. We have our good days and bad days—I hope you know that anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion to be feeling. When Albus and I found out, I was quite angry. My moods that summer were positively mercurial.

I am here if ever you want to discuss it—or anything else. I hope you know I am always here for you and your family. Please keep safe and write as often as you wish. I cannot wait until this damned war is over and we can all gather together safely once more.

I love you, dear goddaughter.

Yours always,

Aunt Min

December 22, 1980

Hi, Min! Happy, happy early Christmas!

I wish I had an update for you, but I do not. The three of us are doing our best to enjoy our life in confinement. I'm happy Harry is too little to know something isn't normal. James is doing his best to stay calm, but he's antsy. We've Transfigured many of our possessions into snow for Harry. He really enjoys it—I've attached a few photos for you. Harry loves the kitten you've given him. They play together all day. I sent a photo of the two of them in the snow. I'm not sure how that kitten puts up with as much as it does, but it stands by Harry's side. It's like his own personal, real-life Patronus. (I know you told us to keep visitors to zero, but Sirius has been by. He is Harry's godfather, after all, and our Secret Keeper, and we couldn't keep him away. The cat you gave Harry drives Sirius bonkers!)

Oh! I just realized I do have something to tell you—Petunia has finally decided to tell me the name of her son: Dudley. That poor child. I can't imagine going through life with the name Dudley Dursley. He'll be teased so much that he'll end up as a bully. Of course, I can't say any of this to Petunia. James, on the other end, brings it up in an attempt to make me laugh. He has all sorts of mean things to say about Dudley's name and his parents—I don't entirely disagree, but I'll never admit that to James.

I hope you and Albus are doing well. I find myself missing the thought of Christmastime at Hogwarts. The feasts, the trees, the laughter, the wind whistling as it hits the stone—I can't wait until we can have a large holiday celebration again. This war has stolen so much from us.

Sending our love,

Lily

December 28, 1980

Dear Lily,

How about this? Next Christmas, I promise that the three of you will be more than welcome to spend the holiday season with us. I am hopeful that the world will be safer by then. I'm not usually this optimistic, but I refuse to think otherwise—not during the holidays. Besides, if it is safe, is it possible you'll continue with your mastery next year?

I have enclosed some gifts within this package; I shrunk them for poor Felina's sake. She's getting old now, and I need to watch what I give her! There are some books for you and James that I thought you might find interesting. For Harry, I bought a child-sized helmet. After you sent me that picture of him whizzing around on a broom, I worried about his head! I knew a boy once who needed a helmet for this exact purpose, and it was worth its weight in gold. I hope you appreciate the safety it brings, even if James teases you for using it.

I must agree that I find your nephew's name to be rather unpleasant. That poor boy won't have an easy life—especially not with his parents. For what it's worth, I am happy that Petunia has opened the door for communication. I sincerely hope that you can create a relationship that works for you.

As for Albus and me? It's the same old story, really—although we elected to stay at the castle for the holiday break this year. I've never seen this many students choose to remain at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays; I have a feeling that families don't want their children travelling unnecessarily. With this many students here, Albus and I felt better being readily available. I have managed to have conversations with a few students who I doubt would otherwise have opened up, so that has been nice. Albus is continuing with the Order work, but he's doing a better job of balancing his time. Right now, he's sitting across from me, drinking a cup of hot cocoa. With such an ordinary sight, it's hard to remember we're at war.

Please send my love to Harry and James.

Take care,

Minerva

March 8, 1981

Minerva,

JAMES IS DRIVING ME NUTS. HE IS FLYING HIS BROOM INSIDE THE HOUSE. ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM FOR A DAY OR TWO? SURELY IT ISN'T A PROBLEM IF HE GOES TO THE MANOR AND NO ONE CAN GET THERE.

I am losing it,

Lily

March 9, 1981

Oh, Lily—that last letter made me laugh. I know what you're going through better than most. My only advice is to give him as much grace as you can, and talk through the inexcusable. (Like the flying indoors—that's ridiculous.) You know very well that Apparating to the Manor—or anywhere else—is dangerous. You're being watched too closely to risk it, dear. I'm sorry, but if the choice is between your safety and your mind, I'll choose your safety every time.

Minerva

March 9, 1981

James,

I know we haven't "talked" directly during the past few months. We normally communicate through Lily, but I would like to talk to you about her. I think she's stressed, James. I am well aware that quarantining yourself like this is difficult for everyone. I know you must be finding it difficult to stay inside; it's not an easy thing to do. Take some advice from an old married woman: it would do you well to ensure that your coping mechanisms aren't making it harder on the people you love.

And, for the love of Merlin, stop flying your broom inside the house.

Take care,

Minerva

March 10, 1981

Minerva,

Do you have any advice?

James

March 15, 1981

Minerva,

I don't know what you said to James, but THANK YOU! He planned a very adorable date night for us in our living room. We had a really good talk. Hopefully, things get a bit easier now.

I also threatened to break his broom if he used it inside one more time, so I think he really listened, ha.

Sending love!

Lily

June 26, 1981

Aunt Min,

I've given some thought to what you said at Christmas—would I be able to reach out to Lily? I can only imagine how much she needs a friend right now. I can send the letters to you, and then you can send them along to her. It might be helpful for James, too, if I ask Charlus to send some letters. I'm sure Charlus would want to talk to his cousin!

Also, look at this photo! I can't believe Esmé is almost 15. She looks just like Mum here, and I knew you'd want to see it.

Love you loads,

Iolanthe

June 29, 1981

Iolanthe,

She has certainly grown up! It has been far too long since we've seen her—and your entire family, of course. Your Uncle Albus is working hard to ensure that this war comes to an end sooner rather than later. With any luck, the world will be safe(r) by the end of the year. Before you ask, no, I don't know anything. I just know that it's a goal of his.

Love,

Aunt Min

August 30, 1981

Minerva,

Are the rumours true? Is Albus actually going to let Severus Snape teach and live in the bloody castle? The person who helped to murder my parents? Who did murder my mother? I'd write to Albus myself, but I'm too bloody mad.

Lily

P.S. I really want to believe this is some sort of stupid joke Sirius is playing on us, but if he knows about a staffing decision at Hogwarts, I'm presuming it must be true.

September 3, 1981

Lily,

I apologize for the late response; it's always busy at the beginning of the school year. I won't beat around the bush, dear: yes, Severus Snape is a teacher here. He took over Potions as Professor Slughorn finally decided to retire. I'm not much happier about it than you are. I'd tell you not to focus on it, but I know that would be futile.

Stay safe,

Minerva

September 10, 1981

Dear Lily,

I know that you and I have mainly conversed this past year through the letters you and Minerva have shared. Therefore, I am presuming it is a surprise to receive a letter written from me directly. After a particularly nasty argument with my wife—about which I'll spare you the details—I discovered your anger at Mr. Snape's employment here at Hogwarts. I know you have very valid reasons to dislike him—even hate him. I dislike how he betrayed you, and the degree to which he did so. I share your disdain. However, I have very, very good reasons for employing him here. I am asking you to place your trust in me. I would never do anything that would endanger my students. Please believe that.

I trust that you, James, and Harry are keeping busy whilst in hiding. It is my sincerest hope that the world will be safe for you soon. Minerva showed me the latest picture you sent of Harry—I cannot believe he is already a year old!

Yours,

Albus Dumbledore

September 11, 1981

Albus,

You ask for a lot of blind faith, you know that, right? You tell us that we have to go into hiding, which we do, but I'm still not entirely sure why. I mean, I understand that we're targets as former Order members. What I don't understand is that we're the only ones in hiding. I'd ask you for an explanation, but I know you don't explain anything until the moment has passed. You very much do like to be right.

I suppose I can't fault you for that since I am the same way.

Just keep safe, all right? If Severus does anything to hurt anyone, I will be breaking out of hiding to whoop his arse, and you won't be able to stop me.

Lily

October 24, 1981

THE PERSONAL + CONFIDENTIAL MEMOIRS OF LORD VOLDEMORT

Some will wonder why I didn't go after the Potters right away. I, too, have questioned myself. It would have been so easy to extract the information from their Secret Keeper a year ago. They could already be gone, and I could rest easily knowing that the one threat to my power was gone.

But I do feel that there is something...missing from this prophecy. I have more than one threat. I do not feel that ridding the world of one child will rid me of all hurdles. My life wouldn't be so easy. Not while Albus Dumbledore walks this earth, the old bastard.

I took my time because, despite what I said to Severus Snape over a year ago, I needed to be absolutely sure the Longbottom baby wasn't the intended subject of the prophecy, and I needed to ensure everything else was in place. I wanted to have more control of the Ministry. I wanted to defeat more enemies. I wanted to convert more of our kind to my cause. These were all necessary steps before I took my rightful place at the head of wizarding society.

Besides, a one-year-old will hardly be more competition than a newborn baby.


A/N: I've always wanted to do an epistolary chapter, and this seemed the perfect time to do it.