Author's Note: I am sorry about the wait, my loves! I hope you enjoy!

Going to pray with Ronal the next morning proved to be... interesting, to say the least. It's often hard for Neteyam to direct whatever it is that the Great Mother wanted to show him. So, going into it, Neteyam didn't know what he was going to see.

Normally he just clears his mind and lets the Great Mother show him whatever it was that she wanted him to see. Whether that was images or feelings, it didn't matter. But when he wants to try and direct her vision it's a lot harder, especially when he's not sure what he's looking for - which was his choice not to know, of course. So, he just focused on the night he went out with Ao'nung. He focuses on the feelings he can faintly remember - trepidation, fear, anger, betrayal - and try to latch onto the vision.

It started with flashes. First, they were so bright, bouncing all over the place. The feeling left him disoriented and sickened, like he was being thrown all over the place. Then they were moving too fast for him to get a clear picture of what it was trying to show him. He sees fighting. He sees fire. He sees blue skinned Na'vi - forest Na'vi - running, screaming and crying as their world burns around them. Snap shots of moments of horror, terror, fear. Some sobbing in anguish, others with faces streaked with tears of rage, their eyes bright and burning like golden flames.

A tree, eclipsing all those around it, breaking apart, sections bursting into flames, as it tips more and more and more until it's roaring in its descent. Neteyam knows that he's in the water, yet it's almost like solid ground beneath his feet gets upturned at the sheer weight of the tree crashing into the ground. He feels like he's been thrown around. Like his legs were knocked out from under him.

He can taste dirt and leaves and blood in his mouth.

Neteyam can feel it too. He can feel the heat of the fires on his neck and back. Splinters of wood digging into his skin. He can feel the tears sliding down his face. The panic, the pain, the agony in his chest. It's so violent, so brutal in the way it tears away at pieces of Neteyam and he can't breathe. His stomach lurches and his heart pounds away in his chest, threatening to burst free.

There is more, he knows that there is more. There has to be. He can see it, cold and disjointed and painful, but Neteyam has to rip his queue from the sacred reef. He can't face the onslaught anymore. He can't bear the weight pressing down on him.

Shixo snarls as Neteyam vomits into the water next to him. He quickly kicks himself up to the surface as he accidently inhales water. He's sputtering once he breaks off into the air, trying to catch his breath while still heaving. He hears himself sobbing between wretches and pained gasps, coughs intermixing whenever he has enough air in his lungs, while in the vision he was unable to protect himself from such... pain. Too much agony. Too much loss. His mind feels like it's being torn apart from the inside.

Shixo swoops up under him, lifting him from the water as much as possible as Neteyam spits and gasps, thankfully no longer throwing up, but now just trying to settle his frayed nerves, the tremor in his hands, and trying to fill his burning lungs. Neteyam brings his hands to his face and just cries, trying to find some outlet for all those emotions threatening to bury him alive.

Ronal's hand finds his back, rubbing at it soothingly as she whispers soft comforting words. It takes a few minutes, but Neteyam manages to pull himself together. He rubs roughly at his face and eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Sorry, that was a lot."

"It's okay," Ronal says, her voice low and soft. "Was it scary? What you saw, I mean?"

Neteyam clears his throat, rubbing at his chest while staring down at the water. The reef is glowing beneath them as if beckoning him to come back so that she could show him more, but Neteyam feels torn down. It's not right. He can't put himself through that again just yet. Not at the moment. But he's not sure what a tree - a massive one - from the forest has anything to do with what was bothering Ao'nung and Ronal, but if it is, then he'll look again when he's feeling up to it.

"It was just a lot," Neteyam says, dismissively. He offers her a weak smile over his shoulder. "I wasn't ready for how strong that was." He rolls his shoulders and rubs at his neck, staring into Ronal's greenish blue eyes. "I'm just not sure that what I saw was what you were hoping for. Did the Great Mother offer you any more insight?"

Ronal shakes her head, shoulder slumping a bit. "No," she admits. "Nothing beyond the imagery that I use to symbolize that things are happening as they should."

Yes, normal people connected strongly to Eywa don't typically get as clear of a picture of things as Neteyam does. They have to do a lot of interpreting what they see and hear and feel. It's not always the case, but more often than not, what comes to Neteyam is pretty straight forward. He's not sure what it is about him that makes him so different from others. Maybe... maybe it's something he can ask Neytiri, Jake and Tsu'tey about. Maybe it has something to do with being a forest Na'vi.

Why hadn't Neteyam thought of that earlier? He should see what they are willing to tell him.

"I saw the forest..." Neteyam says quietly. "I saw it burning. I saw people crying. It was... intense." He rubs at his arms, a sudden chill wrapping around him. The water laps up against his thighs and lap.

"The forest?" Ronal echoes, blinking. "You saw it burn? Was it our forest?" She turns her gaze toward the way leading back to Awa'atlu. Worry creases her forehead.

"No," Neteyam says softly, shaking his head. "No, it was a big forest. Massive trees that touch the clouds. Not our forest."

Ronal considers his words, pulling her hand off of from Neteyam's back. She rubs at her forehead for a moment, eyes flickering about. Then, she lets out a sigh, looking back over at Neteyam. "I don't know anything about the forest. Your father might know more. He went to the forest many times in search of your family," she says slowly. "He might know more if you want to ask him about it."

"Oh," Neteyam says, nodding despite the tightness in his chest. "Okay, that's a good idea."

He's not sure he's going to do that. The forest has hurt his dad so much. Nearly made it so that he couldn't return home to his family because he was trying to help Neteyam return to people who probably didn't want him anymore. His dad was trying to help him. Trying to get him back where he came from. But his home was nowhere to be found and his family wasn't looking for him either. And if they were, it wasn't anywhere that his dad was able to locate. Maybe it was just bad luck that their paths never crossed. Or maybe not.

Neteyam doesn't want to ask his dad. He doesn't want to run the risk that his parents are thinking that he's looking to returning to the forest. That he's searching for something or someone - someones - that aren't looking for him anymore. It's one thing to just wonder if it was bad luck that their paths never crossed again, but Neteyam isn't sure how he'll handle learning the undeniable truth that they really just didn't want him anymore. As happy as he is in his home with his family and his clan, just the thought of learning with certainty that the people that brought him into this world didn't want him, that they saw flaw in his so horrendous that they couldn't bear to keep him around... he's not sure how that can't break him.

"I know that you've been helping Tonowari and Tao'su train the Sullys but I could use your help for a bit this morning, if you don't mind," Ronal says, carefully making tsahaylu with her skimwing and leading the way back to Awa'atlu.

Neteyam does the same, immediately feeling Shixo's anger at Neteyam's reaction to the vision, as if he's able to fight it off to protect the forest boy. Neteyam floods love and acceptance through their bond to sooth his friend which turns the burning anger into a low simmer in the back of Neteyam's mind.

"I do not mind," Neteyam says, urging Shixo to follow after Ronal. "Let me know what I can do to help."


Ronal wanted some help organizing her herbs, throwing out the ones that were no good and making a list of those that need replenishing. She took this time to ensure that Neteyam was keeping up with his studies on the remedies and uses for all the gathered items in Ronal's stash. Neteyam was thankful for the monotony of it, as a horrendous headache was sprouting around his head from the influx of emotions that morning. His hands still felt cold with fear, and loud noises made him jumpier than usual, but as the morning pressed on, Neteyam felt more and more at ease.

It wasn't until he was almost completely himself that Ronal simply said that everything she needed his help for was finished and if he wanted to go help out with lessons or even go home to rest, he could. She said it so easily, most would assume it was just a simple dismissal, but Neteyam knew the older woman well enough now to see her kind actions for what they were. He was able to sequester himself somewhere quiet and mundane in case he needed to break down again - which thankfully he was able to hold it together - and to ease the throbbing pain in his head in peace.

No medicine could help with that pain, so it was best to just let it wear off on its own, so Neteyam was thankful for her foresight. He helps straighten everything up with Ronal before bidding her farewell.

Once he made it to the beach, he could see the Sully siblings, Rotxo, Ao'nung and Tsireya all gathered around, brushing off the sand sticking to them and heading back towards the water. They seem to have stopped for lunch already. Neteyam stopped by to give a quick hello, grinning at his friends, brother, and the Sully children - even accepting a really sweet, really tight hug from Tuk, before excusing himself to head over to his dad, Tsu'tey and Jake.

"He's sensitive. Let it be his choice," Tao'su growls, voice low, as Neteyam walks up to them. Neteyam stops, suddenly worried he was interrupting something, given the looks of panic that cross all three of their faces when they turn to him. Like they were surprised to see him. "Neteyam - "

"Did I interrupt?" Neteyam asks, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I just... wanted to see if I could help out. I didn't mean - "

"No," Tao'su reaches out, his face smoothing out, as he takes Neteyam's hand. "No, my son, no. You're not interrupting anything." He hesitates, warring with himself before admitting, "I was just speaking to Jake and Tsu'tey about you."

Neteyam's eyes widen slightly before lowering himself down next to his dad, looking between the two forest Na'vi, wearily. "Okay..." Neteyam says slowly. "Did I do something wrong? I suppose I don't remember much about etiquette for the forest, if I was rude to you, I certainly didn't mean to."

"No," Tsu'tey says, his voice strained. "No, nothing like that. Your... your father simply didn't want us to overstep your boundaries."

Neteyam tilts his head slightly, a clenching in his chest loosening up a bit. He looks over at his dad, studying his expression. "What boundaries are you talking about?"

"Anything," Jake says, jumping to Tao'su's defense, which makes the other man glance over at him, wearily. "We just... we want to tell you all about the forest, especially since you don't really remember a whole lot, but we certainly don't want to make you feel like you have to listen or be forced into participating in something that you aren't interested in. He's just... he's just trying to protect you." Those last words were so soft, so sad, that Neteyam feels his heart go out to the man. He's not sure where the sadness comes from, but he's so fortunate to have so many people caring for him.

"Oh," Neteyam says, gripping his dad's hand in his. "Well, thank you. I never really got to ask anyone about the forest. It just... seemed so far away..." Neteyam says carefully, adding a shrug that might have been a bit too much theatrics. Too much forced indifference. "I like my life here. I'm happy. I have my family. My clan. I wouldn't want it any other way."

He smiles, but Tsu'tey looks away, swallowing and closing his eyes, and Jake's face falls completely neutral. Not happy or sad. Not angry or conflicted. Just complete blank. An eerie calm. Like a mask falling into place. And after a beat, he smiles, and it feels... empty. A smile that Neteyam can see himself wearing when he's having a conversation that he doesn't want to have while still trying to be pleasant about it. It's meant to be kind towards the other person, and to protect himself.

Neteyam knows that smile, because he uses it when his feelings are hurt but he doesn't want the other person to know. He knows that smile because he can feel the ghost of it on his lips a thousand times. He hates forcing people to worry about him so that smile has become his safeguard, to protect others and himself. When he was bullied as a young kid, he would disarm his parents with it, to keep them from worrying so much about the child that they adopted, that they had to be responsible for. He didn't want to burden them more than they already were.

He sinks into the sand, folding his legs neatly beneath him.

"It's good that you're happy," Jake says, his voice even and even genuine. His smile certain spreads a bit more genuine at his words. "I'm glad to hear it."

Neteyam smiles a bit back, slightly unnerved by how familiar that look was to him. He's always been intuitive, he knows, but it was almost like looking at a reflection there for a moment.

"You're very sweet," Neteyam says, finding his words. He runs his hands up and down his thighs for a moment. Tsu'tey looks back over at them, watching the movement with a slight frown on his face. "I... I suppose if I have any questions, it's nice to know that I won't be bothering you for answers."

Jake nods, reaching out to place a hand on Tsu'tey's, his eyes remaining level with Neteyam's. "Of course. If you do ever have questions, we would be happy to answer them for you."

That makes Neteyam smile more, his shoulders slumping a bit. He feels Tao'su's hand on his shoulder as he sinks into his dad's side, letting out a little breath. He had so much that he wanted to ask, but never thought that he would. He was too scared to hurt his parents' feelings. Especially his dad. His dad who almost died trying to help him get back to the forest. Of the plethora of things that he wanted to ask; he knew that he had to be careful. He couldn't hurt his dad. He had to choose something safe to ask.

Quietly, Neteyam says, "I do have a question about forest Na'vi, if I could."

Tsu'tey perks up a bit, back straightening. "Yes?"

Neteyam cautiously looks between both men, glancing briefly at his dad to see if he was upset, but he seemed genuinely interested in whatever it was that Neteyam wanted to know. With a bit more confidence, Neteyam looks back at Tsu'tey and Jake, asking, "Have you ever heard of forest Na'vi having visions?"

Whatever they were expecting Neteyam to ask, it certainly wasn't that. They both looked surprised while Tao'su seemed to realize that he hadn't thought to ask that either.

"Visions..." Tsu'tey says slowly. "In what regard?"

Neteyam's tail droops against the sand, immediately reading his reaction as something unfamiliar. "I have visions granted to me by Eywa. I was just... wondering if it was..." he lets out a little sigh, looking down at his hands on his thighs. "I was just wondering if it was just me or... well, whatever."

"No, please," Tsu'tey says softly, reaching out for him, then stops, placing that hand on top of Jake's hand still holding his own. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." He hesitates. "I was just surprised by the question. Yes, there is people from the forest that have visions blessed by Eywa."

Neteyam looks up, shocked. His heart leaping up into his chest. Excitement rips through him as his body straightens. "R-Really? I'm not... who? Can I ask who? I've never - I mean... there is no record in the Metkayina, and I spoke with members of different reef clans, and they hadn't heard of it! And, is it, well, is it common or something? Do a lot of people have it? Do you? Can I speak to someone who - "

"Neteyam," Tao'su says softly, gently petting down his adopted son's back, "you must ask your questions one at a time or they won't be able to answer them all."

Tension leaks from Jake and Tsu'tey, both are smiling at him, seemingly caught up in his excitement, even though his face is burning in embarrassment. He shifts a bit, bringing his hands to his face to cover up the flush. He mumbles a soft apology, feeling his dad's hand run up and down his back comfortingly.

"The Tsahik of the Omatikaya," Jake says, smiling softly. "Neytiri's mother, my children's grandmother, is the first person that comes to mind. She had visions of Tsu'tey for many years about him one day leading the clan through a time of great strife and sorrow."

Neteyam shifts closer, eyes wide. "She saw a lot of visions? Like the same ones?" He looks over at Tsu'tey. "Of you? I don't think I've ever had a vision of just a single person - at least not more than once."

"Are visions common for you?" Tsu'tey asks, also leaning closer, Neteyam being his sole focus. "Mo'at, our former Tsahik, she would have visions in her dreams. She saw me many times, but she saw other things."

"I'm envious, I wish my visions came while I was sleeping, but then again, it's probably better that they don't because I don't remember them, but I don't understand something," he glances over at Jake. "You said that she saw visions of Tsu'tey leading the clan, but weren't you the Olo'eyktan?"

Jake sucks in a breath, looking down at his hand sandwiched between both of Tsu'tey's considering what to say. "When I joined the Omatikaya, the Olo'eyktan was Neytiri's father, a man by the name of Eytukan. He was killed by Sky People and Tsu'tey was his successor. Even though I returned to the Omatikaya not too long after as Toruk Makto, Tsu'tey still lead the clan after Eytukan's death up until the war with the Sky People came to an end."

"But why did you stop? Because Jake was Toruk Makto?" Neteyam asks, scooting a bit closer, his eyes wide.

"We were in a time of peace now," Tsu'tey says, his voice low. "And while I was the one that ruled the Omatikaya, Jake was the one that lead us. I conceded to the greater warrior. To the better leader."

Neteyam looks between them for a moment, considering before asking, softly, "Is it scary?"

Tao'su rubs his back slowly as Jake and Tsu'tey share him identical confused looks. "Is what scary?" Tsu'tey asks.

"Being a leader?" Neteyam asks. "I am betrothed to the future Olo'eyktan as future Tsahik. What I say and do will help dictate the future of our people. What I advise to my mate will help or hurt us. It's a lot of responsibility and I know I still have time, and hopefully Tonowari and Ronal live for many, many more years to come, but I worry that I won't be good enough. How did either of you know the right thing to do?"

"You do the best that you can with what you have," Jake says delicately. "You heed the words of the people that both you trust, that might have a better understanding of what is going on than you do and have a unique viewpoint about it. All these things are important to keep in mind in any position you have. Whether you are Olo'eyktan, or even a parent. There is never a clear-cut path to take you to where you need to be. Unfortunately, no one is perfect, and mistakes will always be made. You just have to create a system and forge strong enough bonds with people who can offer you the best advice that can help you when that time comes."

"I see..." Neteyam says slowly, shoulders slumping a bit at that. He wished the answer wasn't so abstract, but he kind of expected as much despite that.

"It's not easy to make a decision," Tsu'tey says calmly, he carefully releases Jake's hand and reaches out to lightly take Neteyam's, giving him the chance to pull away. But Neteyam didn't. He never minded physical contact. It has to be a forest Na'vi thing. Tsu'tey seems relieved that Neteyam doesn't just pull away. "And rarely do we learn until much later if it was the right decision or not."

Neteyam looks down at the hand holding his, blinking slowly. To have the same skin tone as him. The same colored stripes. The same shape of hands and fingers, even if Tsu'tey's are longer and broader. For a split second, Neteyam wondered if this was what it would look like if his father was holding his hand. If this was what it would look like if the person who helped give him life were to hold his hand. Neteyam spent so much of his life wondering - while desperately trying not to - and now he can't help the flood of emotions washing over him.

"I'm sorry," Tsu'tey says, pulling his hand back. "You must not be used to strangers touching you, being one with the reef Na'vi."

Neteyam immediately misses the warmth but has to remind himself that his father is there with him, hand still pressed against his back. Neteyam forces a smile, pushing down the rush of feelings and burying them as deep inside himself as possible. "No, you're okay. In fact, my family had to adapt to how touchy feely I am. My clan too. For the most part I know how to keep my hands to myself, but sometimes I forget, so I understand completely."

Tsu'tey's smile is so gentle and kind that Neteyam feels his breath catch in his throat. "It is part of us, you know? As forest Na'vi, we understand a lot about our environment and each other through touch. Children for the first seven to ten years of their lives still form tsahaylu with their mother to ensure that their mental faculties develop properly. Parents carry their young to their hearts up into the treetops to teach them not to be afraid of heights. At night, we sleep curled up around one another for safety and security, and in communal moments with the clan, we are pressed shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. Touch is important to us. Connection is important to us."

"Wow..." Neteyam says softly, hand to his chest. "I... I..." He closes his eyes, looking down. He's not sure he has the words to describe his feelings. On one hand, it sounds beautiful, idealistic. This beautiful, in-depth connection not only to each other, but to everything around them. But there is also this pain, this fear that it wasn't just his parents that did away with him, but his entire clan. People that connected to one another would certainly notice a child missing. So, either his parents lied, and no one found out the truth... or no one wanted him.

No. He can't... he can't think about that. He can't do that to himself. His chest already hurts enough as it is.

"Beautiful," Neteyam rasps, feeling a sting to his eyes that he blinks away. "That sounds beautiful."


Two days later, Neteyam lightly knocks on the post by the open drape, peering into the marui.

Neytiri twists around from where she's organizing piles of leaves, beads, blocks of woods, twigs and other things off to one side of the marui. Her golden eyes brighten at the sight of Neteyam. With practiced grace, she practically glides up onto her feet and turns to him, taking a few steps closer, her eyes flickering across his face, her own bright, but guarded.

"Neteyam," she rasps, her voice similar to Tsu'tey's. The same inflections as him. A long time native, born and raised in the forest. Not like Jake, who's words are a bastardized combination of the forest Na'vi inflection and however the Sky People speak. And not like Neteyam, a mixture of reef and forest inflections. "What can I do for you? I thought you were helping Jake and Tsu'tey with their lessons."

"I was, but I left them for a bit for lunch because I wanted to apologize for the hassle I caused you," Neteyam says, taking her words as an invite. He greets her with a wave from his forehead, which she returns.

"Hassle?" She echoes, tilting her head. "When was that?"

"The first day you were all here, I just sort of grabbed a bunch of junk and unloaded it on all of you. I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry. I really was just trying to be welcoming, but I've been meaning to stop by and apologize and help out in any way I can to make up for it." He fiddles with his fingers against his stomach, feeling the tension in his shoulders as he takes a few deep breaths before looking up at Neytiri, worried about her silence, but her expression is soft. There is a small, loving smile on her lips.

"You are a very sweet boy," Neytiri says, walking over to him. Then, unexpectedly, she pulls him into a tight hug. Before he can regain his composure, she pulls away, giving his arms a squeeze before taking a step back. "You don't have to apologize, Neteyam. You were very sweet for trying to make us feel welcome and we appreciated the gifts that you brought us. Tuk loves her toy immensely. And we have utilized all the other items that you brought us."

"Really?" Neteyam asks, ears perking. "It wasn't a bother to you?"

Neytiri smiles and it crinkles her nose. "Oh no, tiyawn, it was a great gift. We deeply appreciate it."

Neteyam flushes a bit at the term of endearment, which seems to make Neytiri smile more in his peripheral as he looks away. He rubs at one of his arms trying to work out the nervous energy. He's not sure why he's so nervous, he has just been dreading coming to speak with her because he felt like he burdened her. Even though Jake and Tsu'tey assured him that it wasn't the case, he couldn't help but worry. And maybe, another part of it was the marui. It looks so different than how he imagined it to be with his own things, and instead of making him sad, he was glad.

Like he was walking down the path of fully accepting his choice. It felt like a release, in a way. It felt good.

"I'm happy that it wasn't a burden," Neteyam says softly. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come and apologize."

Neytiri laughs. "You remind me of Jake. No matter what, he'll apologize if he feels he's done wrong, he just... needs time to build up the courage."

Neteyam gives a mirthful faced Neytiri a look of interest. "Jake needs to apologize for things?"

"Not for nearly as many things as he does," she amends kindly. "Ma Jake worries about hurting our feelings, worries that he's not enough for us as he is, so he feels that he must apologize for any little tip or slip that he perceives that he's done. Even if it isn't seen that way. He is quite cautious, and thoughtful, if you take the time to pay attention."

"I think he is very kind," Neteyam says, smiling at her. "I had heard stories of Toruk Makto, but I imagined him to be different. More... untouchable. But he seems to be a genuine, nice guy. Funny too."

This complex look crosses Neytiri's face for a split second, as if she was warring with herself. Delicately, she says, "Ma Jake fears many things, and because of his fear he acts... tougher than he feels. He has suffered great loss, and a pain deeper than any I could bear to take on. I admire his strength for being able to survive the loss when I'm not sure I would be able to. But it made him harder, colder, angrier. I wasn't happy about coming here, but I'm glad that we did - in fact, I am thankful to the Great Mother that we did. Because it brought back a great and wonderful gift for my mate and partner. A joy that can never be replaced."

Neteyam tilts his head a bit in wonder at her words, curious as to what she could be - with her eyes intensely focused on his - but before he could ask, commotion catches his ear. It's faint at first, and normally, with how light it is, Neteyam is used to being the only one to hear anything, but Neytiri twists a bit, hearing it too. They both walk towards the entrance to the marui to hear a growing din of people calling out.

Neteyam and Neytiri share a look before quickly heading towards the beaches, hearing the din forming words, calling to Tonowari, to Ronal, and to him. Then just his name growing louder and louder. Neteyam breaks into a sprint, Neytiri at his heels as he rushes down to the beach, pushing past gathered clansmen, trying to see what was going on.

Ronal and Tonowari are already on the beach, as is Jake and Tsu'tey, and Neteyam's dad. Most of the clan is there, even Tsireya, Ao'nung, Rotxo and the Sully children are squeezing through the crowd to see what the ruckus is about.

Between Tao'su and Tonowari is a frantic man, searching wildly with a few other foreign reef Na'vi climbing off the skimwing and into the water, moving up to the beach.

They each have a hand on the man's arms as he whips about, scanning the crowd. "Neteyam!" The man shouts. "Neteyam!"

"Yes?" Neteyam asks innocently, stepping within ten feet of them, his golden eyes wide.

Tao'su looks sharply over at Neteyam. "Neteyam, get ba - "

Before he could finish, the man rips away from both Tao'su and Tonowari, charging full speed at Neteyam.