A/N: This gets updated more on archive. Review here if you want me to keep uploading, I'm already 300+ pages deep into this lol.

CHAPTER 2

"You eat like a child," Helen noted as she watched Nikki scoff down her breakfast; a feast of eggs, bacon and sausages and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Nikki grinned sheepishly, "It's just a nice change from prison food," she took a sip of her juice, "Do you always have freshly squeezed? I'd forgotten how good it is."

Helen smiled, "Special occasions. I'm usually more of a tea and piece of toast on the way out the door kind of girl."

"Mm," Nikki nodded as she chewed her food before swallowing, "It's dead sexy, you cooking for me like this, you know."

Helen rolled her eyes, "Don't go getting too used to it. Sean was the cook, I had to learn a lot when that ended. And I still order out a lot."

"I'm a pretty decent cook," Nikki shared, "I'll teach you. Or cook for you."

Helen chuckled, "I can't imagine you being domestic, you know."

"Well," Nikki set her cutlery down, "I guess we still have a few things to learn about each other."

"Mhm," Helen agreed, "Can't wait."

"I can't believe this is the first time we've eaten together," Nikki smiled, "We've got so much to look forward to now. I can take you out on a real date, cook you a really nice dinner, watch the sun set – "

Helen took Nikki's hands in her own with a chuckle, "I knew you would be a romantic," she kissed Nikki's hands, "But there's no rush. We've got all the time in the world now, sweetheart."

Nikki nodded, scooting her chair over closer to Helen, "I know. I just want to show you how much I love you."

Helen lent forward, touching her nose to Nikki's, "I love you, too. Now, how about another first?"

"Mm, what's that?" Nikki asked curiously.

"Well, I don't know how the showers were in prison but – "

"Yes," Nikki stood up, unable to hide her eagerness.

Helen laughed at her enthusiasm and teased, "Well, if you're used to that being your solo time you can always – "

"No way," Nikki pulled Helen close, "I've had three years of prison bathrooms. I'm sure the view in yours is much, much more appealing."

"Fuck, Nikki," Helen grasped Nikki's hair tightly between her fingers as her body rode out it's pleasure beneath the stream of water from the showerhead.

Nikki peppered kisses along Helen's collarbone, "You're sexy when you swear," she murmured.

Helen let out a final moan and ran her hands down Nikki's body, "You're amazing at that," she breathed, "Plenty of practice I suppose."

Nikki raised an eyebrow, "I thought we were done with the jealousy portion of this relationship," she continued nuzzling into Helen's neck.

"That was you," Helen said, "I'm not jealous, just… self-conscious."

Nikki laughed.

Helen pushed at her gently, "Don't laugh at me!" she blushed.

"Sorry," Nikki apologised, "It's just…last night, self-conscious is not exactly the phrase I would use to describe you. You were very… confident. And bossy."

Helen bit her lip, "Well, I was caught up in the moment," she giggled, "It's just when I stop to think about it. You know I've never been with a woman until you."

"Darling," Nikki took the other woman's face between her hands, "You have nothing to worry about at all."

Helen smiled, "Okay," she kissed Nikki's palm, "We're going to lose the hot water, I didn't even get to wash my hair," she grumbled.

"Your hair looks great," Nikki rolled her eyes as Helen switched the water off and climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her shoulders, much to Nikki's disappointment.

"Don't pout," Helen laughed as she saw the look on Nikki's face.

"Mm," Nikki quickly tied a towel around her waist and approached Helen from behind as she busied herself in front of the mirror, "You look beautiful," she wrapped her arms around Helen's waist.

Helen smiled as the other woman nestled into her neck gently. She pushed a hand through Nikki's wet hair, "Your hair is sexy like this," she pulled the other woman's face to hers and kissed her softly.

Nikki grinned, "Thanks," she took another towel and begun drying her hair while Helen applied her make up. She searched through Helen's cupboards before finding some product for her hair and starting to comb it through her hair.

Helen watched her for a moment before messing a hand through her girlfriends' hair.

"Hey," Nikki laughed, dodging Helen's hand, "This is serious work, you know," she continued primping her hair, "I think we need to go shopping, this stuff is no good," she held up Helen's hair spray.

Helen took the bottle from Nikki, "I like your post-shower, messy hair look," she teased.

Nikki rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah," she sighed, turning from the mirror and giving up on her hair, "You know, speaking of last night… bossy definitely works for you."

"Hm, really? That surprises me from someone who could never follow the rules," Helen raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, I'll follow your rules in the bedroom anytime," Nikki joked.

Helen's eyes darkened and she stroked Nikki's cheek, "Good to know," she murmured.

Nikki pulled Helen close, fiddling with the hem of her towel but Helen pushed her away gently.

"The shops will close before you let me get dressed at this rate," she chuckled, pushing Nikki out the door, "Go away."

"I'm really glad things are going well for you, Nik," Trish smiled, "You deserve it."

Nikki took a long sip of her drink as she sat at the bar of Chix, "Thanks, Trish. For everything. Keeping this place running," she gestured to the club around her, "You've done an amazing job."

"Yeah, well, I was doing most of it before…" Trish trailed off, "You know. But… that's not a problem anymore," she looked at Nikki pointedly, "Right?"

Nikki held up her drink, "Moderation, only," she agreed.

Trish nodded, "It's just…" she spoke tentatively, "you've been spending a lot of time here since you got out."

"I half own the place, Trish," Nikki exclaimed, "Can't I check on it?"

Trish shrugged, "Sure, I'm just looking out for you. I'd hate to see history repeat itself when things are going well for you."

Nikki opened her mouth to argue when she felt a pair of arms around her waist and turned around to see her girlfriend, "Hey, babe," she kissed her quickly, "How'd your interview go?"

"Another day, another interview," Helen shrugged, taking a seat next to her girlfriend, "The grapevine of the prison industry extends over the whole of London it seems. And I'm not exactly getting glowing reviews."

"That's ridiculous," Nikki sighed, "You're the best thing that ever happened to the system."

"Mm," Helen rolled her eyes, "I guess he who must not be named has friends in many places. Now, what's this about history repeating itself?" Helen asked, having overheard Trish's earlier comment and now looking between the two women questioningly.

Nikki shook her head, "Nothing," she put her arm around Helen, "Nothing to worry about."

Trish rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation before going to serve another customer.

Helen looked at Nikki, "Really?" she asked, knowing her girlfriend wasn't giving her the truth. Nikki looked away but Helen placed a hand on her cheek, "Don't do that. Tell me."

Nikki looked at the concern in Helen's eyes, "Okay," she said, "But not here. Let's go home," she took Helen's hand and waved a goodbye to Trish as they left the club.

"Nikki, talk to me," Helen prodded gently, after sitting in silence for a few minutes next to Nikki on the couch.

Nikki looked at her hands, "It's really nothing. It's old news."

Helen took her girlfriends' hands in her own, "Then you can tell me," she spoke more firmly this time, "No secrets, remember?"

Nikki nodded, still looking downwards, "I know. Okay," she sighed, fiddling with Helen's fingers in her own, "It's just before prison, before everything… I was younger, I spent a lot of time at the club before we bought in. And then when we bought in, I was there every day so I guess I was drinking a lot and Trish thinks it was too much."

Helen nodded slowly, "And you?"

Nikki shrugged, shaking her head, "You run a club, you're bound to engage in a bit of partying."

Helen squinted at the other woman, trying to read her; it wasn't like Nikki to avoid looking at her the way she was now, "Nikki," she spoke carefully, "If you were drinking enough for it to have caused issues in your relationship with Trish… "

Nikki clenched her jaw.

Helen could see her girlfriends tensing up. She placed a hand under her chin and lift Nikki's face to look at her.

"Nikki," she said, "I need you to be honest with me, sweetheart. You are spending a lot of time at Chix, if this is something we need to keep an eye on…"

Nikki raised her eyes to finally make eye contact with Helen. She could see the concern in her eyes. She pressed her lips to Helen's softly at first, then tried to deepen the kiss but Helen pushed her away gently.

"Don't do that," Helen said firmly, keeping a hand on Nikki's chest to stop her from advancing again.

Nikki lent back against the couch with a sigh, "Fine. Yeah, it got to be a bit too much at one stage," she admitted reluctantly, "But it was a long time ago, Helen."

Helen moved closer to Nikki and stroked her cheek with the back of her hand, "Okay," she said, "Then we'll keep an eye on it."

Nikkki turned her face away, "I thought I was past being watched like a criminal," she muttered, the old bitterness entering her voice for the first time in a while.

"That's not fair," Helen said softly but firmly, "I'm trying to look out for you. You know that."

Nikki nodded, "I know," she said quietly before standing up, "I'll get started on dinner."

Helen smiled a little sadly and squeezed Nikki's hand as she passed, relieved to get a gentle squeeze back. It was easy to forget that she still had so much to learn about Nikki.

"Helen, hey," Trish looked around, "Nikki not here?"

"No, she's not," Helen confirmed, "Can we talk?"

Trish nodded and showed Helen over to a booth. It was the day time and the club was quiet.

"Want a drink?" Trish offered on the way over.

Helen smiled, "No, it's okay, thanks."

"So it is that conversation," Trish suspected, "Did she tell you much?"

Helen sighed, shaking her head, "No, not much at all. Like pulling teeth. I was hoping you could tell me a bit more."

"Same old Nikki," Trish rolled her eyes, "She never wanted to talk about her drinking. She just went into defence mode any time I would try to bring it up."

"I never would have guessed," Helen frowned, realising there was still a lot she didn't know about her girlfriend, "She was so against drugs in the wing."

Trish nodded, "It was never drugs. She's always been anti-drugs, always took a hard line against them here too."

"So, what happened with the booze? She says she just partied a lot because of this place. What made you think it was more than that?" Helen asked.

Trish could see the worry in Helen's eyes, "We both partied a lot when we were younger. Working here, it was naturally a part of the environment," she paused, "But after we bought here and her mum passed away she really started overdoing it, not making it in on time or sometimes at all. She'd have a big night and wake up and get started all over again. We weren't really meant to drink while we were serving but of course, most of us would sneak a couple in but Nik… it was more than a couple. And, well you know, Nikki, she can have a temper at the best of times."

Helen nodded knowingly, "Definitely seen that temper more than a few times."

Trish smiled, "Yeah, she was always intense," she sighed, "Anyway, I let it be for a while thinking she was just grieving but there's a grace period, right? Eventually we started arguing about her drinking. We were meant to be running this place together and she was doing more drinking than working. And then she got into a couple of scuffles which is when I put my foot down. We couldn't have her in here getting like that so I told her she needed to take a break from drinking for the good of the club. She didn't like that much."

"That must have been difficult," Helen acknowledged, "She doesn't really talk about life before prison very much."

"Yeah, she didn't stop," Trish continued, "She just stopped coming to the club. That's when I really started to worry about that was more than just the club environment and partying. I'd get home and she was pissed, she'd been drinking at home most days. And, I don't know, I thought she was, maybe depressed or something but she wouldn't have any of that. We argued a lot back then," she sighed, "Eventually, I gave her an ultimatum to quit the booze or we were over."

"It was that bad?" Helen wondered, overwhelmed by the new influx of information.

"When the first thing she'd do in the mornings was crack open a beer and the last thing she'd do before bed was crack another, yeah, it was that bad," Trish confirmed, "But credit to her, she gave it up. She was moody, well, you've seen it I'm sure, but she got through it. She went a year without drinking and she was the better for it. Still wouldn't admit it was ever a problem though."

Helen's brow furrowed, her concern growing.

"After that, she started drinking casually again," Trish said, "And she seemed okay. It wasn't in excess, it was fine. And it's not like I think she's got an addiction, she can just be... very self-destructive. And incredibly stubborn."

"You're telling me," Helen sighed, "Definitely saw that stubbornness in prison."

"Yeah I bet. I knew she would get herself in trouble in there. She just can't help being defiant. It's just since… " she stopped herself.

"Since she got out?" Helen asked, already guessing the answer.

Trish shrugged, "Maybe it's nothing. I just know she's here a lot and when she's here it's always drink in hand. But she's good, right? She's so happy with you," Trish smiled, "I'm really glad she found someone to give her hope in that place. I mean that."

Helen smiled, "Thanks, Trish. And thanks for filling me in," she sighed, "I hate to go behind her back, I really do but…"

"It's hard when she stone walls you," Trish nodded, "I know."

"I just want this whole transition from Larkhall to go smoothly," Helen said, "I know what can happen to women who come out of prison, how hard things can be. I just need to know everything so I can support her."

"Where is she now? Where does she think you are?" Trish asked suddenly.

"Oh, I told her I have another interview…" she looked around, "which is when she usually turns up here, right?"

Trish nodded over at the bar and sure enough, there was Nikki, sipping on a drink at the bar. Before either woman could act, Nikki looked over and saw them. She looked confused for a moment before walking over.

"What's going on here?" Nikki didn't exactly looked thrilled.

Helen braced herself for an incoming argument.

"I better leave you two to it," Trish said, excusing herself with a sympathetic look towards Helen before she left.

Nikki sat opposite her girlfriend, "I thought you had an interview."

"Sorry, Nikki," Helen said, determined to stand her ground, "You weren't being honest with me. I need to know these things so I can support you."

Nikki ground her teeth, looking around the club before pushing a hand through her hair and sighing in exasperation but still not speaking.

"I just – "

"I know," Nikki interrupted, looking at Helen, "I know. You're just looking out for me, I get it."

Helen's eyes widened in surprise, "You're taking this well. You're not angry?"

Nikki grimaced, "I am, I'm just…trying not to be," she looked over at the bar where Trish was serving drinks and back at Helen, "If you were worried enough to go and ask my ex…" she sighed, "And if Trish is worried… Maybe… " she shrugged.

Helen took Nikki's hand in her own.

"I'm so grateful to be here, Helen," Nikki squeezed her girlfriends' hand in her own, "I'm not going to do anything to screw that up. If you ask, I'll stop drinking. I've done it before, it's fine. If that's what makes you happy."

Helen moved over to Nikki's side of the booth and pulled her into her side, kissing her forehead, "Let's just go home for now."

"Okay," Nikki allowed herself to be pulled out of the booth and led over to the bar, "We should say bye to Trish."

The two headed over to the bar.

"We're off," Nikki called over to Trish who made her way over, "And… thanks."

Trish raised her eyebrows, "Thanks?"

Nikki smiled, rolling her eyes, "Yeah, thanks… for saying what I couldn't."

"Jesus, Nikki," Trish looked at her in disbelief, "I thought about hiding in the back room before you could go off on me."

Helen squeezed Nikki's hand, "She's working on that temper."

Nikki rolled her eyes, "Had a good chat about me, didn't you?"

"Only because we care," Helen smiled.

"Yeah, yeah," Nikki grumbled but good naturedly, "We'll catch up soon."

"Alright, maybe we'll try that new Italian place around the corner?" Trish suggested.

"Sounds good," Nikki gave her friend a peck on the cheek, "See ya."

"Thanks Trish," Helen smiled as the pair left, "You're very lucky, you know," she said to Nikki, "to have an ex you can still be friends with."

Nikki looked at her, "You're very lucky I have an ex you can talk about me with," she shot back as they exited the club and walked down the street.

"Don't be grumpy with me, please," Helen pulled Nikki close and looked her in the eyes.

Nikki smiled and shook her head, "How can I be when you look at me with those eyes?"

Helen sighed in relief and pressed her lips to Nikki's, "Very good."

Nikki put her arm around Helen's shoulder as they made their way to the car. Helen was relieved she'd been able to talk to Trish and to Nikki without it turning into an argument. She still wasn't sure the best course of action but she felt better hearing that Nikki was willing to give up the drink if she asked. She should've known, the other woman had always said she'd do anything for her.