Prologue
Ever since my change things have not been the same with the Cullen's but especially with Edward. I thought he wanted to be with me forever but since I woke to my new life he is hardly around. He is usually off with Alice or Carlisle doing stuff.
I spend most of my days with Renesmee. I am so thankful to have her, everyone else ignores us except Jasper. It's like I am invisible to them now. I thought things would just be perfect after my change and we would all be like one big family. Especially since I no longer have my family. When they found out that I was getting married, young Charlie and Renee wanted nothing to do with me. They had tried to talk me out of it in the first place, but I wouldn't hear any of it. I just wanted to be with Edward, and I wanted to be able to be with him forever. I knew from the moment the Cullen's came into my life that I was meant to be one of them, that I was meant to be apart of this world.
Now here I am sitting alone outside with my daughter, and I can't help but think that they were absolutely right about everything. I got married because that is what Edward wanted from me, and that was the only way that I could get him to agree to change me. Now I wonder if this was all a mistake. I wonder what would have come of my life if I never took him back after our trip to Italy. He said he was so sorry though and never meant to hurt me he just wanted to protect me. After what happened with the Volturi I couldn't help but agree with him. This world was dangerous, if it wasn't for their promise to change me or should I say Alice's promise to change me the Volturi would have killed me where I stood.
Jasper and I have gotten so much closer since my change. Probably because I don't tempt him anymore with my blood. He really has become like the best big brother to me. I always thought I would be closest to Emmett and even Alice but since I have awoken to this life Jasper is the one that has been there for me and taught me the ways of being a vampire.
The whole family even built Edward and I a cottage on the property to be able to have our own space together with Renesme but he hardly is ever there. He stays up at the main house with everyone else and its usually just Renesme and I in the cottage alone or sometimes Jacob stops by but that's mostly because he imprinted on Renesme. I think he is still mad that I chose this life but since he got Renesme as an imprint that anger has started to subside some.
Jasper also comes to hang out with me. He has told me all about his life as a vampire and all the things he went through before joining the Cullen's. He also let me know that Alice was not his mate even though she liked to tell everyone that he was. He says he has seen what real mates are like together with his time with Peter and Charlotte and that he knows that his is still out there for him. When he described that mates acted like it made me wonder. Was Edward really my mate? He never wants to be around me he always let's others belittle me and doesn't stick up for me. And he hasn't even touched me since we came back from our honeymoon. From what Jasper has told me this is not the way mates are to act.
I feel like this is my life now though. I have made my bed and I need to lie in it. I have nowhere else to go and I don't even think anyone else would want me as a mate.
